Over the years, some disturbing events began to be associated with the glass armonica. Some armonica players became ill and had to stop playing the instrument. They complained of muscle spasms, nervousness, cramps, and dizziness. A few listeners were also subject to ill effects; after an incident in Germany where a child died during a performance, the armonica was actually banned in a few towns. Some people thought that the high-pitched, ethereal tones invoked the spirits of the dead, had magical powers, or drove listeners mad.
And all this time we've been superstitiously attributing the ill effects of using a computer to things like "carpal tunnel syndrome" and "monitor radiation poisoning," but we haven't had much success in preventing these things from happening. Apparently it turns out we've just been invoking the spirits of the dead. Someone should file a bug for this.
Bug #3382983749: Invokes spirits of the dead , causing permanent nervous system damage.
Re:Quote from their jet brochure
on
Penguin Airlines
·
· Score: 1
That was my point. They highlight the fact that they use aircraft aluminum in their aircraft. I'd be worried if they were using any lesser type of aluminum, like coke cans.
You mean the UK version will allow consumers to actually "own" the products they purchase? Wow, I'd better start packing...
Quote from their jet brochure
on
Penguin Airlines
·
· Score: 5, Funny
The Eclipse 500 is constructed principally of aircraft aluminum.
That's good to know. I hate it when airlines use jets constructed principally of coke-can aluminum. And the aluminum siding planes are just annoying when one end of a plank breaks loose and starts thwacking against the side of the plane. These guys show real promise.
The traffic sensor system, which should begin operating next month, will make it possible to provide realtime information about some of the nation's worst congestion to drivers through their cell phones, over the airwaves and on the Internet, and gather better data for transportation planners.
In theory, it can only be effective if it does not provide drivers with the real-time data.
Let's say this system goes into effect, and it can track traffic in real time and provide that data to the people who are causing the traffic. Everyone on the road figures he's smarter than the drivers around him (I can confirm this mentality is the norm in Northern California, where this is being implemented). Drivers on US 101 simultaneously get a report from their cell phones that they're facing bumper-to-bumper traffic from Moffett Field to University Ave, and people respond by getting off the highway and flooding Middlefield Road, which runs parallel to 101. Only this causes Middlefield to become even more congested than 101 (which is still congested because Middlefield just can't handle that much traffic). So some people abandon Middlefield to go back to 101, causing more problems, while a steady stream of cars begins to work its way through the side streets around Middlefield. The end result is that no one really gets to their destination any faster (this actually increases travel time for many people as they hop between routes).
More importantly, the data becomes useless. If the drivers had not been supplied with the raw traffic information, they would have followed predictable traffic patterns that could be studied to determine where roads need to be widened or otherwise changed (any Bay Area commuters familiar with the northern end of 85 can already tell you where roads need to be changed). Since the otherwise sheep-like traffic now has thousands of minds of its own, the result is chaotic traffic in which patterns constantly change unpredictably as people try to adapt. Therefore patterns cannot be studied and the flow of traffic will not improve.
Ideally, the system should analyze the patterns without providing raw data to the drivers and suggest that drivers whose license numbers end in 4 or 8 take Middlefield, drivers whose license numbers end in 5, 6 or 7 should take 280 if possible, and everyone else should stay on 101. Intelligently-managed traffic is better than chaotic traffic.
<sarcasm>No one's forcing you to watch the ads and FBI warnings. If you're offended by them, just close your eyes or turn your TV off. There are plenty of Americans who believe in advertisements -- why should they be deprived of them just because you're "offended?"</sarcasm>
"This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."
This article? It's about cryonics. This is what happens to people when they get too rich, too dead, and then too cold.
Posit: "...as of the 1990 census, 98% of US households had a TV while 94% had flush toilets"
Conclusion: 4% of US households have a sense of humor.
The "What type of toilet do you use?" question has less impact on redistricting than the "How many people live in your household?" question.
Census data is even less accurate and reliable than the weight reported on your driver's license. At least you're required to fill in the weight blank, and the DMV clerk can eyeball you and say "there's no way you're 4,000 pounds."
Kasparov's Secret Weapon
on
Men vs. Machines
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Rumor has it Kasparov's secret weapon this time around is a bucket of salt water -- with which he will drench both himself and his opponent so no one can accuse him of not playing fairly.
If that fails, he plans to challenge his opponent to a "Double or Nothing" drinking contest at a local bar.
At washingtonpost.com, this was a conscious effort that served a purpose.
At one typical "yay for us" session where the publisher/CEO was trying to drum up support for an initiative the editorial staff opposed, I was obliged to clap with the majority. It would have been inappropriate not to. I noticed that one of the editors was not clapping, and I asked him how he could get away with that.
"I don't want to spill my coffee," he said, pointing out several other editorial staff members who were not clapping and holding coffee cups. "Next time, bring a cup."
So the next time I grabbed an empty coffee cup on my way to the meeting and just stood there holding it when everyone clapped. It was a good lesson in civil disobedience. When I left the company over a year later, and my boss was giving a BS speech about how much I meant to the company, I brought a coffee cup.
Look, I don't know who this Dan person is, but...
on
Dan Looks at Office Toys
·
· Score: 1, Flamebait
...he's upstaging Taco.
Headline:
Dan Looks at Office Toys
Does he really belong in the coveted three-letter moniker class with RMS? Is his first name so recognizable that I should be slapping my head and saying, "Oh, Dan!" <WHACK>
This isn't a troll, all I ask is that we try to include the last names of people-who-didn't-come-up-with-something-like-GNU- or-emacs in headlines when we use their first names. Or leave the name out of the headline altogether and just focus on the subject of the article?
Oh, wait. Do you have to be employed to answer this survey? I can't remember what toys I used to play with... they all seem so insignificant by comparison.
You're only going to give them ideas. Before you know it, degrees will be DRM protected:
We're sorry, the degree you asked us to confirm for an employer is no longer available since you're outside its registration period. To re-register your degree for a further 5 years at a cost of only $2,000, click here. If you're a dues-paying member of our Alumni Association, you may be eligible to re-register your degree for only $1,500.
So will the campus e-bookstore still sell e-books to you and then buy them back at 10% of the purchase price?
Student: Hi, I have 300 copies of Postmodernism for Dummies to sell back. Clerk: Hey, aren't you the guy we bought 500 copies from yesterday? Student: No sir, that was my roommate. The guy in the room next to me should be stopping by later. I advised everyone on my floor to buy a few hundred copies of each book at the beginning of the year. An investment in "e-books" sounded like a good idea at the time. Guess not.
Evolving Concepts at Microsoft are Frightening
on
Shattering Windows
·
· Score: 5, Funny
We're doing this thing called "Trustworthy Computing." It's an evolving concept.
It starts out meaning "We are worthy of your trust."
Then it evolves to mean "You trust us."
Then it evolves to mean "You trust only us."
Then it evolves to mean "All your base are belong to us."
You misunderstood. A "terraflop" is a finishing combo in a top secret street fighter game that will be released with the PS3. This is different from the "teraflop" which refers to floating point ops.
The next user interface will not be for you, or I, or most slashotters. It won't be for most people who use computers today, for that matter. It will be for the huge number of people who still aren't using computers.
Before the desktop GUI, computers could only be sold to those who could understand and use the CLI.
Today, computers can only sold to those who can understand and use the CLI or the GUI.
Tactile interfaces will be implemented to enable the industry to sell computers to people who don't "get" the CLI or the GUI. Just as the GUI traded functionality for easy of use, the TUI will be less functional than the GUI.
Consider the MS Barney doll discussed in the article. The next version will be a "full computer" -- shake his hand to open your email application (shake it again to send your email when you're done dictating it). Poke him in the eye launch a text-to-speech Web browser. Kick him in the crotch to hear your privacy options. Those are all the options these people need, so the doll works perfectly for them as a cuddly, familiar interface.
I don't expect that you're going to switch to Mac OS X just for OW, but you should press the Mozilla developers to include a feature like OW's that will give you the flexibility to filter out whatever you don't want to see -- not just Flash.
It's less representative than that. The geeks driving up the Junkyard Wars/Anime ratings are more likely to opt out. People like my roommate's boss, who only see TiVo as the next evolution of cable (but know nothing about the technology driving it or the privacy issues) won't opt out.
So basically, these ratings will be based on the subset of TV watchers who:
Have TiVo
Do not opt out
The irony of the situation is that even though the data will be only be dead-on accurate for a tiny subset of TV watchers, it will probably be the most accurate ratings data the industry has ever had!
It's been a while since I last used AOL, but when they talk about popups, they're generally talking about popups delivered by the AOL software on AOL's proprietary pages (that you can't view in Mozilla). So there's no way for the user to disable them.
Before Judge Wells sentenced the former Congressman to 8 years in prison (1 year longer than the prosecution sought) and fined him $246K ($150K more than the jury required), she stated that she was imposing the stricter punishments because he undermined respect for the government and the court, and that lied to distract attention from the charges against him.
(Microsoft lied and presented false evidence in Jackson's courtroom, and this attempt to implement the unapproved settlement is really Microsoft's way of undermining the court's decision before it's made, effectively saying "your ruling doesn't matter because we've already implemented our settlement with the administration we bought")
At one point, Traficant interrupted her, saying he objected to "your harsh remarks, your demeaning remarks. It shows your bias."
(The MS-breakup ruling was overturned because the appeals court agreed with Microsoft's assertion that Jackson's harsh remarks to the press showed his bias)
She also told Traficant that he believes he is above the law. Traficant responded "I committed no crime. I regret nothing that I said," pointed to the prosecutor and said "You should be ashamed of yourself, not me." He then announced that he will appeal his conviction and that he will run for Congress again... from jail. "Quite frankly, I expect to be re-elected."
(all tactics of a convicted individual who believes he is above the law)
His attorney (who he fired melodramatically during the trial) says, "He's prepared to serve his time and he's going to fight on, and he's going to be on the ballot, and to him, quite frankly it's kind of just another day and he's moving down the road."
Each one takes a 3D image and progresses along a fourth dimensional plane I like to call:
<fingerquotes>TIME<fingerquotes>
This combination is stored in a media format I call a:
<fingerquotes>MO-VIE<fingerquotes>
4D is very subjective, so long as you are allowed to define the four dimensions involved.
Re:Contamination and porly funded projects
on
Amateur Mars Satellite
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Filed at 7:08 p.m. MSNST, August 5, 2033 AMERICAN QUARTER, MARS RESEARCH BASE (MSNAP) -- MSASA researchers have discovered what appears to be a 2012-model German Sony Aibo in a region of Plateau 148 that was previously believed unexplored.
The artificial dog had a spent CO2 cannister strapped to its back and flexible solar panels in place of floppy ears.
"Basically, we're thinking this is probably the work of some amateur who thought it would be fun to illegally land on Mars before we got here," Mars Station Director Johnson said. "We are currently swabbing the dog for fingerprints and have been assured the full cooperation of the German police force in bringing this criminal to justice."
According to initial reports, researchers first thought they had encountered an intelligent extra-terrestrial life form but lost interest when it didn't seem to understand English. A week later, a team carrying a German exchange scientist encountered the Aibo and was able to make it sit up, beg, and sing the Sony Anthem in German.
The minimum penalty for sending your own property to another planet without MSASA permission is 3 years confinement on the roving Lunar Prison, which is designed to remain on the dark side of the moon at all times.
"I'd like to remind everyone," Director Johnson said, "that you can't go around sending things to other planets. This isn't a joke. Leave this serious business of interplanetary travel to the professionals."
Verisign's still worth $5? Obviously Esther Dyson didn't push hard enough if Verisign's still alive. At this rate, the company might still be around when the market comes back, and then we're stuck with them.
Friends, Countrymen, Romans. Lend me your domains and I will dump them on your behalf. Together we can stamp out this Verisign scourge.
Slashdot Mirror
That was my point. They highlight the fact that they use aircraft aluminum in their aircraft. I'd be worried if they were using any lesser type of aluminum, like coke cans.
Let's say this system goes into effect, and it can track traffic in real time and provide that data to the people who are causing the traffic. Everyone on the road figures he's smarter than the drivers around him (I can confirm this mentality is the norm in Northern California, where this is being implemented). Drivers on US 101 simultaneously get a report from their cell phones that they're facing bumper-to-bumper traffic from Moffett Field to University Ave, and people respond by getting off the highway and flooding Middlefield Road, which runs parallel to 101. Only this causes Middlefield to become even more congested than 101 (which is still congested because Middlefield just can't handle that much traffic). So some people abandon Middlefield to go back to 101, causing more problems, while a steady stream of cars begins to work its way through the side streets around Middlefield. The end result is that no one really gets to their destination any faster (this actually increases travel time for many people as they hop between routes).
More importantly, the data becomes useless. If the drivers had not been supplied with the raw traffic information, they would have followed predictable traffic patterns that could be studied to determine where roads need to be widened or otherwise changed (any Bay Area commuters familiar with the northern end of 85 can already tell you where roads need to be changed). Since the otherwise sheep-like traffic now has thousands of minds of its own, the result is chaotic traffic in which patterns constantly change unpredictably as people try to adapt. Therefore patterns cannot be studied and the flow of traffic will not improve.
Ideally, the system should analyze the patterns without providing raw data to the drivers and suggest that drivers whose license numbers end in 4 or 8 take Middlefield, drivers whose license numbers end in 5, 6 or 7 should take 280 if possible, and everyone else should stay on 101. Intelligently-managed traffic is better than chaotic traffic.
<sarcasm>No one's forcing you to watch the ads and FBI warnings. If you're offended by them, just close your eyes or turn your TV off. There are plenty of Americans who believe in advertisements -- why should they be deprived of them just because you're "offended?"</sarcasm>
"This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."
This article? It's about cryonics. This is what happens to people when they get too rich, too dead, and then too cold.
Conclusion: 4% of US households have a sense of humor.
The "What type of toilet do you use?" question has less impact on redistricting than the "How many people live in your household?" question.
Census data is even less accurate and reliable than the weight reported on your driver's license. At least you're required to fill in the weight blank, and the DMV clerk can eyeball you and say "there's no way you're 4,000 pounds."
If that fails, he plans to challenge his opponent to a "Double or Nothing" drinking contest at a local bar.
At one typical "yay for us" session where the publisher/CEO was trying to drum up support for an initiative the editorial staff opposed, I was obliged to clap with the majority. It would have been inappropriate not to. I noticed that one of the editors was not clapping, and I asked him how he could get away with that.
"I don't want to spill my coffee," he said, pointing out several other editorial staff members who were not clapping and holding coffee cups. "Next time, bring a cup."
So the next time I grabbed an empty coffee cup on my way to the meeting and just stood there holding it when everyone clapped. It was a good lesson in civil disobedience. When I left the company over a year later, and my boss was giving a BS speech about how much I meant to the company, I brought a coffee cup.
This isn't a troll, all I ask is that we try to include the last names of people-who-didn't-come-up-with-something-like-GNU- or-emacs in headlines when we use their first names. Or leave the name out of the headline altogether and just focus on the subject of the article?
- PS2
- Wireless DSL connection
- Cable TV
- Full-sized refrigerator
- My couch
- My backyard
- My bed
Oh, wait. Do you have to be employed to answer this survey? I can't remember what toys I used to play with... they all seem so insignificant by comparison.Student: Hi, I have 300 copies of Postmodernism for Dummies to sell back.
Clerk: Hey, aren't you the guy we bought 500 copies from yesterday?
Student: No sir, that was my roommate. The guy in the room next to me should be stopping by later. I advised everyone on my floor to buy a few hundred copies of each book at the beginning of the year. An investment in "e-books" sounded like a good idea at the time. Guess not.
Then it evolves to mean "You trust us."
Then it evolves to mean "You trust only us."
Then it evolves to mean "All your base are belong to us."
You misunderstood. A "terraflop" is a finishing combo in a top secret street fighter game that will be released with the PS3. This is different from the "teraflop" which refers to floating point ops.
Before the desktop GUI, computers could only be sold to those who could understand and use the CLI.
Today, computers can only sold to those who can understand and use the CLI or the GUI.
Tactile interfaces will be implemented to enable the industry to sell computers to people who don't "get" the CLI or the GUI. Just as the GUI traded functionality for easy of use, the TUI will be less functional than the GUI.
Consider the MS Barney doll discussed in the article. The next version will be a "full computer" -- shake his hand to open your email application (shake it again to send your email when you're done dictating it). Poke him in the eye launch a text-to-speech Web browser. Kick him in the crotch to hear your privacy options. Those are all the options these people need, so the doll works perfectly for them as a cuddly, familiar interface.
So basically, these ratings will be based on the subset of TV watchers who:
- Have TiVo
- Do not opt out
The irony of the situation is that even though the data will be only be dead-on accurate for a tiny subset of TV watchers, it will probably be the most accurate ratings data the industry has ever had!It's been a while since I last used AOL, but when they talk about popups, they're generally talking about popups delivered by the AOL software on AOL's proprietary pages (that you can't view in Mozilla). So there's no way for the user to disable them.
Before Judge Wells sentenced the former Congressman to 8 years in prison (1 year longer than the prosecution sought) and fined him $246K ($150K more than the jury required), she stated that she was imposing the stricter punishments because he undermined respect for the government and the court, and that lied to distract attention from the charges against him.
At one point, Traficant interrupted her, saying he objected to "your harsh remarks, your demeaning remarks. It shows your bias."
She also told Traficant that he believes he is above the law. Traficant responded "I committed no crime. I regret nothing that I said," pointed to the prosecutor and said "You should be ashamed of yourself, not me." He then announced that he will appeal his conviction and that he will run for Congress again... from jail. "Quite frankly, I expect to be re-elected."
His attorney (who he fired melodramatically during the trial) says, "He's prepared to serve his time and he's going to fight on, and he's going to be on the ballot, and to him, quite frankly it's kind of just another day and he's moving down the road."
AMERICAN QUARTER, MARS RESEARCH BASE (MSNAP) -- MSASA researchers have discovered what appears to be a 2012-model German Sony Aibo in a region of Plateau 148 that was previously believed unexplored.
The artificial dog had a spent CO2 cannister strapped to its back and flexible solar panels in place of floppy ears.
"Basically, we're thinking this is probably the work of some amateur who thought it would be fun to illegally land on Mars before we got here," Mars Station Director Johnson said. "We are currently swabbing the dog for fingerprints and have been assured the full cooperation of the German police force in bringing this criminal to justice."
According to initial reports, researchers first thought they had encountered an intelligent extra-terrestrial life form but lost interest when it didn't seem to understand English. A week later, a team carrying a German exchange scientist encountered the Aibo and was able to make it sit up, beg, and sing the Sony Anthem in German.
The minimum penalty for sending your own property to another planet without MSASA permission is 3 years confinement on the roving Lunar Prison, which is designed to remain on the dark side of the moon at all times.
"I'd like to remind everyone," Director Johnson said, "that you can't go around sending things to other planets. This isn't a joke. Leave this serious business of interplanetary travel to the professionals."
Friends, Countrymen, Romans. Lend me your domains and I will dump them on your behalf. Together we can stamp out this Verisign scourge.