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  1. Windows Phone 7: "90% of my allowance wasted" on Ballmer Says 90% of Chinese Users Pirate Software · · Score: 1, Funny

    In other news, the Windows Phone 7 user is really mad. We tried to call him but he was out of credit.

  2. Choosing iPhone/WinPho7/Android just got easier on Microsoft Explains Windows Phone 7 'Phantom Data' · · Score: 1

    So, you can have a phone you have to figure out how to hold before you make a call, a phone you have to make all your calls at the start of the month quickly before it drains all your allowance or the other one which does neither. Hmm...

  3. The Windows Phone 7 user can't afford Starbucks on Starbucks Gets Mobile Payment System · · Score: 1

    He says he has to save all his money to pay his phone bill

  4. The Windows Phone 7 user thought so too on Open Source More Expensive Says MS Report · · Score: 1

    He says although his phone cost more than all those millions of Android ones, he's happy because he knows he has all the smarts and know-how of the best brains in the business behind his closed source OS, so has great support if anything goes wrong. Then he got his phone bill

  5. Windows Phone 7 is great too on EC Tests Show Windows Vista Is Above Average — At Blocking Content · · Score: 3, Funny

    Once its used up your allowance nothing gets past it at all.

  6. Can I sue this guy for causing me discomfort? on Florida Man Sues WikiLeaks For Scaring Him · · Score: 1

    His antics made me laugh so much my stomach hurt. So cough up, sunshine.

  7. Phew. He's safe then. on Assange Could Face Execution Or Guantanamo Bay · · Score: 1

    See, after this: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/hitandrun-iraqi-can-stay-in-uk-2162049.html, the UK refused to send this noble Iraqi back after bravely killing a 12 year old girl whilst disqualified from driving, then heroically running away, because he similarly might be executed.

    How fortunate we are the UK government set this amazing precedent and Julian can rest assured there is no duplicity now they've finally grown a pair.

  8. Microsoft Phone 7 Yellow Stream of Death on SEGA Brings Gaming To Public Restroom Toilets · · Score: 1

    Microsoft, playing their usual catch up, have announced one based on their new phone os (its got terrific XBox integration). I was wondering what its answer to blue screens and red rings would be.

  9. There are legacy computers for sale today on What's the Oldest File You Can Restore? · · Score: 1

    Even though they fit in you hand, incredibly as we approach 2011 you can still buy "smart" telephones which need wires to transfer your data over, for example songs you may have paid someone to hold you to ransom to for the rest of your life. Being so primitive (or is the reason more sinister?) they obviously don't have memory slots or are compatible with the rest of the industry via USB or bluetooth, but even with all these glaring omissions they remain popular with people who prefer style over substance. If users want to transfer data between these devices in 10 years time they had better hope their manufacturer is still around and willing, probably for a hefty price, to help them out.

  10. Re:mobile platform on Why Android Is the New Windows · · Score: -1, Flamebait

    Using your argument - if there's only 1 device it has to be goddam perfect since all your eggs are in that basket. Hence the ludicrous situation earlier in the year when Apple royally screwed the iPhone4's antenna and *blamed the user* for holding it wrong. Its more than just marketing, its borderline brainwashing - they just could not under any circumstances accept their entire product range of 1 was a turkey. Fortunately, as has been said before, Steve Jobs treats his customers like idiots and, as usual, on this occasion they proved him right again.

    Had an Android phone been made with a defective antenna, users would have bought a different model whilst the first is recalled, fixed and relaunched.

    Microsofts new xbox controller isn't in the same ballpark. At first glance it even looks like a smartphone, but it can't be since it doesn't multitask, support flash nor even cover the basics like cut and paste.

  11. Plan B after WinPhone 7 bombed? on The Return of the Microsoft Kin · · Score: 1
  12. Re:My buying experience on Did the Windows Phone 7 Bomb In the US? · · Score: 1

    Not a version 1 product? So when is cut and paste coming, or has it been mothballed because it's nowhere near as useful on a fiddly small screen device as the feature everyone's been screaming out for, xbox integration?

  13. Every one can be reflashed with Android on Did the Windows Phone 7 Bomb In the US? · · Score: 1

    Shows the faith the manufacturers have in them, although its pretty obvious if you've just invested the eye-watering costs of setting up the manufacturing facilities you'd make sure it was so anyway. Look at the ranges from the initial players, HTC, Samsung, LG etc - turned off, there's nothing between their WinPhone 7 and Android models.

  14. Seagull Shit in Sellafield Similarly Shines on Researchers Race To Recover Radioactive Rabbits · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Which is not only an older story but totally owns your feeble bunny piece in the alliteration league: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article7040256.ece

  15. If Steve jobs had his own way on Want Flash Player On a MacBook Air? Download It Yourself · · Score: 0, Troll

    iPhones would only be able to call other iPhones
    Safari would only run on ios/macs and only be able to visit sites hosted by Apple servers
    The country would install a separate electricity network which only Apple products could plug into
    Human ears would be surgically modified to only hear the patented frequencies that reformatted content from iPods sent out.
    North Korea would ask his advice on how to run closed systems.
    He'd remove all traces of the 1984 video showing Apple busting big brother.

  16. Re:Pot meet kettle on Microsoft Sues Motorola Over Android-Related Patent Infringement · · Score: 1

    Its great news. m$ sue the inventor of the cellphone. Just think what patents Motorola can fling back in their newbie faces.

  17. He's already a master of one dark art on Steve Jobs Tries To Sneak Shurikens On a Plane · · Score: 1

    The iPhones most popular app - perhaps he was just expanding his skillset a little more.

  18. First book, next... bitch on Facebook Says It Owns 'Book' · · Score: 1

    And so it begins. Bitchbook better stay parked, it has no chance.

  19. Re:Anger. on To Ballmer, Grabbing iPad's Market Is 'Job One Urgency' · · Score: 1

    And he being the master prophet, too.

  20. And under those black blankets was lurking... on Inside Apple's Anechoic Testing Chambers · · Score: 2, Funny

    the iPhone 5

  21. Re:Private Conference on Apple To Hold iPhone 4 Press Conference · · Score: 1

    Perhaps they are announcing a Google Apps Inventor style simple guide to making the iPhones most popular App

  22. Re:Zapp Brannigan's Reporting Strategy on Apple Censors Consumer Report iPhone4 Discussions · · Score: 1

    Everyone is now waiting for the iPhone 5 but they should be happy the iPhone4 still runs its most popular apps just as well as before.

  23. Re:A workaround on Consumer Reports Can't Recommend iPhone 4 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'll just wait for the iPhone 5.

  24. He was hardcore about the iPhone, too on Ballmer Says Microsoft Is 'Hardcore' About Tablets · · Score: 1

    Shame it didn't play out as he expected.

  25. Re:Maybe something everybody can use? on No iPhone Apps, Please — We're British · · Score: 2, Funny

    iPhone 5 is better