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Florida Man Sues WikiLeaks For Scaring Him
Stoobalou writes "WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has been accused of 'treason' by a Florida man seeking damages for distress caused by the site's revelations about the US government. From the article: 'David Pitchford, a Florida trailer park resident, names Assange and WikiLeaks as defendants in a personal injury suit filed with the Florida Southern District Court in Miami. In the complaint filed on 6th January, Pitchford alleges that Assange's negligence has caused "hypertension," "depression" and "living in fear of being stricken by another heart attack and/or stroke" as a result of living "in fear of being on the brink of another nuclear [sic] WAR."' Just for good measure, it also alleges that Assange and WikiLeaks are guilty of 'terorism [sic], espionage and treason.'"
It will be hard for anything else to beat this for the dumbest thing I've seen on the internet today.
Taking guns away from the 99% gives the 1% 100% of the power.
Wouldn't it make more sense to sue the government for doing those things, instead of suing Wikileaks for talking about them?
I knew this would happen when I heard that Walmart was putting in self-serve legal departments.
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
I'm scared of the things google does every day. Therefor I'm going to sue /. for telling me about it.
Luckily, nuclear war is a cure for depression, hypertension, heart attack and stroke.
My postings are informational and does not constitute legal advice. Act on it at your risk.
Don't you have to be a citizen in order to be charged with treason?
From the summary: "in fear of being on the brink of another nuclear [sic] WAR."'
From the article: "in fear of being on the brink of another nucliar [sic] WAR".
It would help if posters didn't correct spelling for words which are followed by [sic].
Comment removed based on user account deletion
"David Pitchford, a Florida trailer park resident..."
this really gets me mad. why does living in Florida matter? why does living in a trailer park matter? that's wrong with people, this sort of prejudice...
come to think of it, yeah, carry on. this is a good prejudice
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
...because we all know that trailer parks are liable to cause depression, anxiety, and feelings of desperate isolation.
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
It will be hard for anything else to beat this for the dumbest thing I've seen on the internet today.
This one will be hard to beat. I am no Assange fan, but this is just stupid.
Home of The Suki Series
For posting worthless stories and becoming yet another crappy politics site.
Obviously this guy decided that he might be able to make a buck by inventing this crap.
Can anyone tell me how people can be so stupid?
Just in case he reads slashdot:
**** BOOH ****
There's another court case for you.
And while he's at the courthouse, David can change his name to David Pitchfork and complete the trailer-trash facade.
But this guy is merely a risibly hyperbolic instance of a much broader, more common, and (in alarmingly many circles) respected position: Namely, that the person who reveals wrongdoing is somehow guiltier of that wrongdoing than the person who commits it.
I can't figure out if this view is a cancerous outgrowth of the morally monstrous "My country right or wrong" brigade(who are certainly louder and more numerous than there more honorable "May my country always be right and, when wrong, be set right" counterparts) or if it is a symptom of an even deeper flavor of cognitive limitation and/or ethical infantalism.
Below a certain age, and in some lower animals, "object permanence" is not well established. If they see an object enter a bag, they still lose track of it once it leaves their vision, and do not conclude that it must be residing in the bag, and can be found there. Above a certain age, and in smarter animals, this conclusion sticks. One is inclined to wonder if there is some moral variant of this, where some people, for who knows what reason, cannot apply "ethical action permanence" and conclude that, if Wikileaks took it out of the bag, and the government is the one who puts stuff in the bag, even though Wikileaks is holding the unethical object, it is merely the entity that took the object out of the bag where it had earlier been placed, not the entity that created the object.
In a way, I actually find the straight-up belligerent "USA! USA! Nuke ALL RAGHEADS!!!!" crowd to be more respectable. They are atavistic, barbarous scum, but they are refreshingly honest and straightforward about their bloodlust. The mealy-mouthed "respectable" apologists, on the other hand, are ethically no better; but spend their time dripping honeyed words and "nuance" to cover for the policies that they don't have the guts to endorse public-ally. It's like Fred Phelps: He is an awful human being, and merely by existing makes one wish there were a hell for him to inhabit; but he is all honesty. No equivocation, no focusing only on soft targets(anybody can picket an abortion clinic without much in the way of controversy, hitting military funerals takes serious guts...), no "Oh, we just stand for commonsense family values" circumlocution.
...I'm suing Fox, NY Times, Washington Post, etc. They've got REAL money.
Finally! It's about time the editors [sic] started fixing (or at least acknowledging [sic]) all the stupid typos and grammatical [sic] errors that emanate [sic] from this site.
how exactly does one commit treason against a country you have no affiliation with? Given that Assange is Australian, it'd be a pretty bizarre contortion of the law to conclude that he's committed treason against the US government. Espionage perhaps, but by definition: only Australia can charge him with treason.
Thankfully nature finds its balance, as now millions of people can sue David Pitchford for choking whilst laughing and coffee all over their keyboards.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't.
actually i can. and it shows the measure of stupidity of legal system. moreover, if i have enough cash, i can even win too ! further indicators to the stupidity of legal system.
Read radical news here
The truth sues YOU!
i had just come home, and i had noticed people jumping with joy in the streets, running naked, flapping their arms like wings in ecstasy. i wasnt able to make anything out of it. but now i have come and read this article, and discovered that the editors in slashdot finally started paying attention to grammar, the biggest problem that society faces, i am able to understand why those people were running about in joy in the streets.
Read radical news here
/b/ might. They care about these sorts of people enough to soothingly troll them.
Well I think he should start a Class Action lawsuit against his government because Assange only posted facts. It was his government that scared him.
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K
As opposed to what? The correct spelling, which is nukular?
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick
After all, Pitchford's negligence has caused me "hypertension," "depression" and "living in fear of being stricken by another heart attack and/or stroke" as a result of living "in fear of being exposed to extreme stupidity."
I am, yet again, embarrassed.
This is yet another great reason why the US should have a loser pays legal system when it comes to law suits.
Any lawyer who took up this guy's case should be immediately disbarred, and possibly be committed in a mental institution. If he's acting as his own lawyer, the latter goes doubly so.
A way to get him into the United States so they can grab him and shut him up?
What is even more scary was some dipsheit professional lawyer actually took the case on for this moron. Talk about who's the biggest idiot - the lawyer or the trailer park resident?
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. - Peter F. Drucker
Can I sue oprah for unleashing irritating people like Dr. Phil with his questionable advise and Dr. Oz with his fecal fetish. Both of them cause me pain anytime I have to suffer through a broadcast someone else is watching.
"Oh the humanity!" [sic]
His antics made me laugh so much my stomach hurt. So cough up, sunshine.
Um ....
...a Florida trailer park resident...
Doesn't that explain things? He'll probably sue for damages because of lack of companionship with his dog, the demand that "Free Bird" become the new national anthem, and the Confederate Flag become the new flag of the Yee-Ew niiiighted staaates of Amerikah!
Jeff Foxworthy for Prezidant!
My captcha is "porches" I guess I have to mention that the dog lives under the porch...
Don't blame me! Slashdot made me do it!
Some people just can't handle the truth about what their government is really up to. I am sure there are many people that want to continue living with their head buried in the sand so they don't have to deal with the stark realities of what our government really does. The sad part is that there are many more people like him that want to go on living like sheep as long as you don't take away their television and alcohol.
then he would be perfectly safe and would not even have to think for himself, they would tell him when and what he could do.
...for the distress idiots like this cause me to suffer?
quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.
The biggest DOUCHEBAG in the Universe award.
A micus curiae brief would be fun.
XML is a known as a key material required to create SMD: Software of Mass Destruction
When a foreign national uncovers secrets and we catch them, what are they accused of? What's the equivalent of treason when done by someone from another country?
Me thinks florida man has just dreamed up a way to make a bit of wonga and needs to get out of Pre school and into the real world ANY court that does not thorw this straight out on it dick needs closing down because they are just pandering to the money nothing legal at all
a right old load of cobblers pure and simple send florida man here I scare the living CRAP outta him for good jerkoff dickhead
Nuts with lawyers are better. At least he's only hurting his own financial future and wasting the court's time.
That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
So I guess I should sue the government itself for causing me distress because of the way it has been handling all of this, as well as terrorism in general?
This idiot's frivolous lawsuit has brought me to the realization that there are just too many stupid people in the world with access to both lawyers and the internet.
This new information scares me.
Can I sue this guy for scaring me with his suing over being scared?
Nobody cares about your stupid irrational fears. For the last time.. Asange is NOT a US citizen...he CANNOT be charged with treason so get over it.
You make trailer trash look bad and as such I am filing a lawsuit against you for defaming my social-economic condition.
Being trailer trash does not render one unable to experience walmart in style.
What a worthless pussy.
This Guy really scares me.....
Wait that gives me an idea!
An U B scarin me, I wont muny fer mah hort utacks!
I killed da wabbit -Elmer Fudd
That's the way I felt when Bush was voted President, can I sue the USA for voting him in ?
In other related news, 2173 sheep have declared themselves 'finally free' of a man, who would come after them, dressed up to look like a sheep, but clearly a man. He would attempt repeatedly to defile the sheep. Due to persistent sheep vigilance, his advances were soundly rebuffed. The man, having given up on his attempt to sire a man-sheep, decided instead that he was scared of nuclear war, and attempted to sue Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, for damages or something. When asked to comment, the sheep were heard to baaa "We here in the herd have sympathy for Mr. Assange, but would not trade our current circumstances (being rid the the man and his advances) again. Some of our group have had difficulty sitting/laying down, and become extremely irritated if anything bumps them from behind. "
Suicide is the answer.
Only in Florida.
Conservatives, scientifically, are more scared of loud noises and scary pictures, were described as being frightened and easily offended as three year olds, and have a larger 'fear' center and smaller 'anticipation and decision-making' center
This isn't spin, it's established science. So seeing fear, anti-government sentiment, and a parroting of the Glenn Beckesque rhetoric that's unfortunately a large part of the news here in the US right now doesn't surprise me one bit.
Shiny. Let's be bad guys...
So let me get this straight.
The problem is not that bad shit is happening,
but that we now know it's happening.
May I suggest a set of horse's blinkers and noise-cancelling headphones,
to ensure blissful living.
Of course, then, you'd have to sue your own imagination.
Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
Greedy loser.
This country never fails to remind me I'm living in the stupidest nation on earth... ...also what is the [SIC] on nuclear about? You DO know that's actually how it's spelled right? It's not nucular or anything? You get that?
I really hope so.
If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits
Brilliant, now I can sue Hollywood for making scary movies. Combine that with my lawsuite against KFC for their "Low-Carb" diet making me fat and I'll be set for life.
When I was a kid, I always thought the line was, "Money for nothing, and checks for free."
I wanted to get an account as his bank so badly.
Ceci n'est pas un sig.
Dear citizen of [Insert country here]. Your politicians in [Insert the building name/address/location, as commonly referred to, of the parliament or equivalent body here] are probably doing things just right most of the time, but sometimes, they do incredibly boneheaded things. Wikileaks revealed [Insert new-found nastiness], but if you had been awake, you would have remembered [Insert recent Slashdot headline involving IT legislation banality] which already exposed how rotten things are on general level, didn't it? So don't act surprised - every country has problems that need fixin'. Sincerely, [Insert semi-anonymous pundit pen-name here]
So, I'm guessing Juan Williams took that big Fox signing bonus and finally got that "trailer" on South Beach that he always wanted.
If this works, then Dick Cheney owes me big.
This story is from the United Kingdom (THINQ.co.uk). A search on Google News didn't produce any hits except the one article. Find me someone in Florida who's written something about this and I'll write a comment.
If I used a sig over again, would anyone notice?
How much longer for the second American civil war?
Can someone who isn't an American Citizen and has no ties to the USA be guilty of Treason?
Also: While we are rightfully mocking this uneducated, lower class wage slave's outrage that someone might dare point out flaws in his perfect government fantasy, lets not forget that several Republicans have openly called for Assange's assassination, unlawful imprisonment, and at this time there appears to be a conspiracy to ruin his life under trumped up false charges of having sex without a condom (which the US media is calling rape) which is a well known FUD tactic by the US Government.
While this trailer park plaintiff is obvious a whackjob, his only true crime is he's vocalizing what the GOP is fantasizing about right now.
Sounds like instead of needing to file a lawsuit, the plaintiff needs to make a therapy appointment with Doctor Ermey.
This space unintentionally left blank.
I think I may try the same thing. This time of year especially I am afraid of the IRS. Wonder how much I can sue them for?
Assange is as guilty of espionage as Deep Throat was in the watergate scandal.
Assange is as guilty of treason as Napoleon Bonaparte was (hint: neither are US citizens therefore neither can be guilty of treason against the US, by definition)
Assange is as much of a terrorist as Rupert Murdoch. Okay, not quite as much as Rupert Murdoch.
Does the idiot in question sue the NYT, Faux News, or CNN any time they report bad news, because bad news is distressing?
I have a hint: if you bury your head in the sand, or live in a cave, stay off the internet and don't listen to the radio or watch TV, and don't read newspapers or magazines, you won't be exposed to bad news and thus can then live in blissful ignorance.
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
You may or may not be surprised to learn just how often cranks in trailer parks try to sue dead people, celebrities, or religious figures, for controlling their brains. Many court clerks will tell them that they can't file the lawsuit against God unless they find an address to serve Him.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.
.
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
Again when did the USA turn into a country of sheep?
()()
Are we supposed to be impressed because you're quoting HP Lovecraft, loserboy! Iä! Iä!
Geeks are so full of shit that "beating the crap out of them" takes a whole new meaning.
Its fairly obvious that Assange can not go to America to appear in court and I have no doubt that the judge will get a call insisting that he demand Assange's appearance in court at least once.
(Its not unusual for a judge to request the appearance of a defendant and then allow the defendant's lawyer to make all sole appearances after up until the final decision)
This could end up as a default judgment against Assange due to failure to appear.
Typically this would be laughed out of any courtroom but with Assange being public enemy no. 1 at this time and the heavily politicized nature of America's reaction to Wikileaks, this could be seen as an opportunity by some to capture Assange if he were foolish enough to attend.
They are going to spam this on Fox and Friends about how Assange is "hiding from the law" and how "a court has found him guilty of terrorism, treason, etc."
I wonder if someone put this plaintiff up to it or if he just saw an opportunity to try and make a quick profit in his own warped mind.
captcha:massacre
Well, we are impressed by your ability to use Google. Hard to master that.
"loserboy" - you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
That is some funny s__t what a moron - He probably also is a republican that thinks frivolous lawsuits shouldn't be allowed -
http://docs.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/florida/flsdce/1:2011cv20047/371507/1/
The original filing is quite entertaining. He paid $350 to file it. That's a lot of PBR!
Why do they think "nuclear war" is a spelling mistake?
[sic] misused ? If they can't spell themselves, then maybe they should not worry about correcting anybody else
sometimes the herd just needs to be culled.
Her back peddling is also very telling.
Wow, she's now openly peddling her back? My view of American politics was pretty dim, but that's taking things in an interesting direction.
On a more serious grammar-Nazi note, I think you mean pedaling, what you do on a bicycle, rather than peddling, which is small-scale sales like the peddlers of old.
Cheers,
"What in the name of Fats Waller is that?"
"A four-foot prune."
short of assassinating him, i'm surprise they're now using ordinary citizens. how desperate...
Leela: We may have to shock him!
Bender (to a comatose Prof. Farnsworth): YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK IS LATE! STUFF COSTS MORE THAN IT USED TO! YOUNG PEOPLE USE CURSE WORDS!!
Unfortunately I seem to have hit the filter which gave me an error about not using so many caps in my post.
There will be anonymous protests like everywhere tomorrow.
The Christian religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world. -- Bertrand Russell
U.S. and U.K. central banks discussing the solvency liquidity crisis.
Danish government lied about investigating whether the CIA had used Danish airspace for secret prisoner transports.
Don't forget your Guy Fawkes mask tomorrow!
The Christian religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world. -- Bertrand Russell
Can I sue Pitchford? I didn't know about any of this until he made these claims. I've always dreamed of a trailer in Florida. I assume that's his sole asset. There's obviously no intellectual property.
I don't believe this man woke up this morning and decided that WL is the worst thing on the planet.
I am sure he was approached and got paid to do this.
Now there is a legal reason to prosecute Assange in the USA, as well as to request extradiction.
I should sue the Grimm Brothers, because of the scary things they wrote: child abuse through over-feeding, wolf's dissection without a trial and the list of accusation goes on. Bring a torch and some wood too ...
Someone forgot to take his medication.
Loserboy nerd, all jocks know Lovecraft. We practice avidly the highly competitive sport of Book Reading so Lovecraft and his works have no secrets for us. Don't make me turn the refrigerating engine off and cause you to rot into nothingness, or send Brown Jenking to eat your shriveled heart.
Geeks are so full of shit that "beating the crap out of them" takes a whole new meaning.
I just cant resist: http://i.imgur.com/wGxlm.jpg
If wiki leaks can be charged with espionage just by posting information others stole, shouldn't al gore be charged for inventing the transportation medium over which the information travels?