A transporter would be nice, but a phaser with stun setting would be oh-so-useful with idiotic and unhelpful salepeople, not to mention inconsiderate motorists. And when you really get ticked off, there's the vaporize setting.
Captain Kirk: "We come in peace. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill. We come in peace. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill, men!"
--Star Trekking Across the Universe
The North Carolina hospital doctor's device, which he has already patented and is trying to trademark under the name Orgasmatron, is a tiny spinal cord stimulator. A hand-held remote control turns the device on and off.
An OFF switch? Why would a woman want an OFF switch? Oh, right--sleep. Silly me. I could see three buttons: ON, TURBO, and ENOUGH!
PDFs aren't immune to inadvertent release of information either.
Remember what happened when the PDF regarding Carnivore was released with the "sensitive material" (like developer names and such) blacked out? Someone figured out how to easily reveal the names and re-released the document, embarrassing the FBI.
BOSS: "So, Planesdragon, I see that you bought twenty-four kegs of beer last weekend..."
PD: "Yep. I had a kegger at my house. It's my personal life, and, as you can see, I'm here bright-eyed and bushy-tailed monday morning. So what's it to you?"
BOSS: "Because it's Tuesday, not Monday. Where were you yesterday?"
You were asking for numbers? How about numbers direct from a spammer's e-mail?
Here's a partial spam I received from silver star internet information company (wewe@hotmail.com), showing total (spammed) e-mail addresses by country, and associated industry categories. (These sums are likely valid only for the lists that this spammer sells...).
And they spew:
"We offer...e-mail addresses databases for advertisement mailing; we...also carry out mailing and hosting for the advertising projects . Their validity and originality are verified. please go to our web. There are some sample download."
Country or area, total email addresses (in millions, typos left in):
America 175
Europe 156
Asia 168
China(PRC) 80
HongKong 3.25
TaiWan 2.25
Japan 27
Australia 6
Canda 10
Russia 38
England 3.2
German 20
France 38
India 12
CENTRAL & SOUTH AMERICAN AREA 40
MIDDLE EAST & AFRICA 45
SOUTH EAST AREA 32
Category Name, total email addresses
Apparel, Fashion, Textiles and Leather 4,654,565
Automobile & Transportation 6,547,845
Business Services 6,366,344
Chemicals 3,445,565
Computer & Telecommunications 654,655
Construction & Real Estate 3,443,544
Consumer Electronics 1,333,443
Energy, Minerals & Metals 6,765,683
Environment 656,533
Food & Agriculture 1,235,354
Gems & Jewellery 565,438
Health & Beauty 804,654
Home Supplies 323,232
Industrial Supplies 415,668
Office Supplies 1,559,892
Packaging & Paper 5,675,648
Printing & Publishing 6,563,445
Security & Protection 5,653,494
Sports & Entertainment 3,488,455
Toys, Gifts and Handicrafts 2,135,654
Just make sure you get the Real Doll with the 10-BaseT speech and gyrating hip options (is the Kung-Fu Grip option still available?).
Oh, and better add the anti-viral module, just in case she has a Windoze box. Oh, plus an anti-worm module, an anti-trojan module (not to be confused with latex Trojans), and... screw it! I'll just hire a hooker for the night for 1% of the cost!
In the late 70's at college, I mailed a mag tape to Willie Crowther, and got a 430-point FORTRAN version of Adventure . We, well, were kinda hoping that we could read the source code to get the answers to the final puzzle (that damn last 1-point), as well as the 2nd "wizard" answer:
SORRY, THE COLOSSAL CAVE IS CLOSED. ONLY WIZARDS MAY ENTER. ARE YOU A WIZARD?
>yes
PROVE IT. WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?
>dwarf
THAT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS?
>yes
37703 (a totally-random octal string that thwarted us for months)
I still have my Novation Cat 300-baud acoustic coupler. Think it cost me about $200-300. Of course, that was my 3rd modem...before was a 110-baud PC-board, a 300-baud PC-board (had to set the pots by ear), then the Novation Cat.
My first modem was a 110-baud, and I had to solder it together myself with, uhh, lead, yeah, lead from a car battery. Sometimes the battery acid would spill and melt the modem and I'd have to start all over.
While Tesla could have distributed wireless power, with huge neighborhood generation plants (like cell-towers, but bigger), he didn't.
When asked by his monetary backer, J.P. Morgan, how he was going to charge a fee to the households (or cars with power-receiving antennas, etc.) receiving the the power he distributes, Tesla reportedly said "Charge for it? The power should be free!" whereupon J.P Morgan killed the wireless power project altogether. D'OH.
Among other things, Edison was a sicko, electrocuting stray cats and dogs with AC current, horrifying the crowds of people to simply "prove" how "dangerous" AC electricity is, and how "safe" his DC electricity was. Twit.
"Robotics, we think, can enhance our ability to protect our installations, people and resources," Dillard said. "One of the things we want, and have asked the industry to do, is to be able not only to detect (with robots) but to start a neutralization phase before we can get response forces out there.
Army Commander: "Hey, great! It "neutralized" all the bad guys. Now let's just pick up the robots and put 'em back in the truck. Uh, hey why are they aiming at US? We're the good guys!"
Robots, in MP3-quality, 16-part harmony: "KILL ALL HUMANS, er, NEUTRALIZATION PHASE IN PROGRESS!" *FRAG*FRAG*FRAG*
Army Commander: "What?! ALL humans? Who the hell programmed this?!"
Army Geek (via radio, in secure bunker): "You did, Sir. Your exact words, Sir, were, and I quote, 'Program the suckers to blast the holy hell out of--I mean--neutralize anyone it sees.' You could just press the big red OFF button in the middle of their back. If you can get that close."
Sign up with a credit watch service like PrivacyGuard.
Such a service monitors your multiple-agency credit files, and sends you a detailed letter when there's activity or inquiries (a precursor to obtaining new credit), and continues to send reports each month until the activity dies down. Then the report frequency changes to quarterly, on the assumption that "no news is good news."
Credit reports are included in annual fee, as well as assistance with removing false/bad info (form letters, etc).
What I find most helpful are the reformatting of what used to be raw, confusing credit reports, and the associated interpretations.
I was having a problem with a credit card company saying I owed them big bucks (I didn't, and refused to pay), so I immediately got a 3-agency report to see if there was derogatory information listed (nope), and so can compare if anything new goes in there, whether bad or good.
Some of its potential antics are eating popcorn, "stealing" a guest's hat...
Let's hope the dinosaur's embedded AI knows the difference between a hat and a headband/visor, otherwise the beast may "playfully" tear someone's head off, then playfully throw it back at the spurting, toppling corpse. Eww. "GUEST CLEANUP ON MAIN STREET!"
1. Paypal launches satellites. 2. Population switches to smart-cards currency. 3. Smart cards have remote-access exploit. 4. Paypal empties random smart-cards from space. 5. Profit! 6. Some hacker gets pissed, traces the signal,
cracks the satellite controls, and tasks it
to crash into the PayPal space station,
while using a "Die Another Day" particle beam. 7. Revenge!
Prozilla
is a program that makes multiple connections and downloads a file in multiple
parts simultaneously (from 4 or more sites) thus enhancing the download speed.
Prozilla has both a text interface and a GUI (I've only used the colorful text UI). You provide the URL of the file you want, and it retries until it collects all the parts. You can even suspend a download and resume later (in case a roommate--D'OH!!--needs to interrupt the download to make a phone call on the modem line).
Prozilla got me OpenOffice 1.0 the same evening it was first released; after my manual downloads all timed out, I located, compiled, and started Prozilla downloading then I watched television--and it was still quicker than if I had kept retrying manually.
What if the machine had tilt or impact sensors, and just as you were kicking the fsck out of it, a camera popped out, taking your digital picture and uploading it to its handlers? (I'll teach that damn machine to squeal on me...EMP pulse generator ON-LINE!!!!)
Or, like in RoboCop II, maybe a shock generator? Or like in South Africa, those anti-car-jacking under-car flamethrowers?
Slashdot Mirror
Guess you don't use *nix much, huh?
And Lt. Yar did the fully-functional Data.
Captain Kirk: "We come in peace. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill. We come in peace. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill, men!" --Star Trekking Across the Universe
An OFF switch? Why would a woman want an OFF switch? Oh, right--sleep. Silly me.
I could see three buttons: ON, TURBO, and ENOUGH!
I bet quite a few people would like to service Microsoft the way we consumers have been serviced by Windows.
Remember what happened when the PDF regarding Carnivore was released with the "sensitive material" (like developer names and such) blacked out? Someone figured out how to easily reveal the names and re-released the document, embarrassing the FBI.
PD: "Yep. I had a kegger at my house. It's my personal life, and, as you can see, I'm here bright-eyed and bushy-tailed monday morning. So what's it to you?"
BOSS: "Because it's Tuesday, not Monday. Where were you yesterday?"
PD: "D'OH!!"
Here's a partial spam I received from silver star internet information company (wewe@hotmail.com), showing total (spammed) e-mail addresses by country, and associated industry categories. (These sums are likely valid only for the lists that this spammer sells...).
And they spew:
"We offer...e-mail addresses databases for advertisement mailing; we...also carry out mailing and hosting for the advertising projects . Their validity and originality are verified. please go to our web. There are some sample download."
Country or area, total email addresses (in millions, typos left in):
Category Name, total email addresses
This sounds like the MANNA story by Marshall Brain. It's a good read.
How much does that pay an hour? ;-)
Oh, and better add the anti-viral module, just in case she has a Windoze box. Oh, plus an anti-worm module, an anti-trojan module (not to be confused with latex Trojans), and ... screw it! I'll just hire a hooker for the night for 1% of the cost!
SORRY, THE COLOSSAL CAVE IS CLOSED. ONLY WIZARDS MAY ENTER.
ARE YOU A WIZARD?
>yes
PROVE IT. WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?
>dwarf
THAT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS?
>yes
37703 (a totally-random octal string that thwarted us for months)
The correct 2nd answer is:
dwarg
GREETINGS, WIZARD (or something like that)
I still have my Novation Cat 300-baud acoustic coupler. Think it cost me about $200-300. Of course, that was my 3rd modem...before was a 110-baud PC-board, a 300-baud PC-board (had to set the pots by ear), then the Novation Cat.
NO CARRIER ...>~~~~~^^~&%*&%~
WTF is a "grognard"?
My first modem was a 110-baud, and I had to solder it together myself with, uhh, lead, yeah, lead from a car battery. Sometimes the battery acid would spill and melt the modem and I'd have to start all over.
When asked by his monetary backer, J.P. Morgan, how he was going to charge a fee to the households (or cars with power-receiving antennas, etc.) receiving the the power he distributes, Tesla reportedly said "Charge for it? The power should be free!" whereupon J.P Morgan killed the wireless power project altogether. D'OH.
Among other things, Edison was a sicko, electrocuting stray cats and dogs with AC current, horrifying the crowds of people to simply "prove" how "dangerous" AC electricity is, and how "safe" his DC electricity was. Twit.
"Robotics, we think, can enhance our ability to protect our installations, people and resources," Dillard said. "One of the things we want, and have asked the industry to do, is to be able not only to detect (with robots) but to start a neutralization phase before we can get response forces out there.
Army Commander: "Hey, great! It "neutralized" all the bad guys. Now let's just pick up the robots and put 'em back in the truck. Uh, hey why are they aiming at US? We're the good guys!"
Robots, in MP3-quality, 16-part harmony: "KILL ALL HUMANS, er, NEUTRALIZATION PHASE IN PROGRESS!" *FRAG*FRAG*FRAG*
Army Commander: "What?! ALL humans? Who the hell programmed this?!"
Army Geek (via radio, in secure bunker): "You did, Sir. Your exact words, Sir, were, and I quote, 'Program the suckers to blast the holy hell out of--I mean--neutralize anyone it sees.' You could just press the big red OFF button in the middle of their back. If you can get that close."
Army Commander: "Oh, crap."
Robots: *FRAG*FRAG*FRAG* *FRAG*FRAG*FRAG*
Army Commander: "ARRGH URG ugggh gurgle....thunk"
Robots: "SC0RE: HUMANS: 0, R0BOTS: 50. W00_H00! W0ULD Y0U L1KE T0 PLAY AGA1N?"
Army Geek (via radio, in secure bunker): "Heh-heh, stupid humans. They can kiss my shiny metal, err, my hairy-over-metal ass."
Such a service monitors your multiple-agency credit files, and sends you a detailed letter when there's activity or inquiries (a precursor to obtaining new credit), and continues to send reports each month until the activity dies down. Then the report frequency changes to quarterly, on the assumption that "no news is good news." Credit reports are included in annual fee, as well as assistance with removing false/bad info (form letters, etc).
What I find most helpful are the reformatting of what used to be raw, confusing credit reports, and the associated interpretations.
I was having a problem with a credit card company saying I owed them big bucks (I didn't, and refused to pay), so I immediately got a 3-agency report to see if there was derogatory information listed (nope), and so can compare if anything new goes in there, whether bad or good.
Let's hope the dinosaur's embedded AI knows the difference between a hat and a headband/visor, otherwise the beast may "playfully" tear someone's head off, then playfully throw it back at the spurting, toppling corpse. Eww. "GUEST CLEANUP ON MAIN STREET!"
1. Paypal launches satellites.
2. Population switches to smart-cards currency.
3. Smart cards have remote-access exploit.
4. Paypal empties random smart-cards from space.
5. Profit!
6. Some hacker gets pissed, traces the signal,
cracks the satellite controls, and tasks it
to crash into the PayPal space station,
while using a "Die Another Day" particle beam.
7. Revenge!
"We come in peace
Shoot to kill.
Shoot to kill.
Shoot to kill.
We come in peace
Shoot to kill.
Shoot to kill, men."
--Captain James T. Kirk, Star Trekkin' song
...And Cogswell Cogs.
Prozilla has both a text interface and a GUI (I've only used the colorful text UI). You provide the URL of the file you want, and it retries until it collects all the parts. You can even suspend a download and resume later (in case a roommate--D'OH!!--needs to interrupt the download to make a phone call on the modem line).
Prozilla got me OpenOffice 1.0 the same evening it was first released; after my manual downloads all timed out, I located, compiled, and started Prozilla downloading then I watched television--and it was still quicker than if I had kept retrying manually.
Or, like in RoboCop II, maybe a shock generator? Or like in South Africa, those anti-car-jacking under-car flamethrowers?
Guess you didn't see the article's department:
from the can-you-ping-me-now?-good dept.