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User: Profane+MuthaFucka

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Comments · 3,995

  1. Re:Only works on uncompressed bitmaps on Encrypted Images Vulnerable To New Attack · · Score: 1

    If you die, someone's going to go through your computer and discover how naughty you were. This is inconvenient, because it's hard to make the point that your porn collection is no worse than typical if you're dead.

    Heaven won't be quite as much fun if you look down on your wife going through your special folder. She'll kick your ass when she gets up there.

  2. Confucius say on No Naked Black Holes · · Score: 2, Funny

    Confucius say "Physicist who say there is no naked singularity should examine their equations through a peep hole."

  3. wuala on Easy, Reliable Distributed Storage and Backup? · · Score: 1

    I'm testing it out right now for porn backup. So far, so good.

  4. Re:Still waiting for... on No Space Porn (For Now) · · Score: 1

    What do you mean. You don't like extruded confections?

  5. Re:Willing? on China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space · · Score: 1

    You conservatives are so ignorant sometimes. China has sent people up to space for years, small children. The sewing machines used in the Nike factory are more efficient in zero-G, and a small child can make twice as many sneakers in a spacecraft. It makes no sense to give them helmets and spacesuits, because that would negate the advantage small fingers have in sewing sneakers.

    I think that China is sending people up voluntarily is just a stunt.

  6. Re:fearmongering on New Denial-of-Service Attack Is a Killer · · Score: 1

    I think it's IP based. When I post from the address that I have historically caused the most trouble from, I get delayed. When I post from an address assigned to my cell-phone modem, no delays. It's the price of being naughty I suppose.

  7. Shortsighted? on The Facts & Fiction of Bandwidth Caps · · Score: 2, Insightful

    That's ignorant. They made long range plans. They took a look at the long term trend of ever-increasing bandwidth usage and realized they could rake it in by capping the bandwidth.

  8. That's nothing on Man Catches Bullet In False Teeth · · Score: 1

    I once caught a baseball bat in my codpiece.

  9. Re:Phase change on Another Way the LHC Could Self-Destruct · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or it could split the planet wide open if the uninformed hyperbole gets to hot and detonates.

  10. It's obvious on AMD Graphics Chips Could Last 10X To 100X Longer · · Score: 3, Funny

    From TFA:

    "£GDl/h' = 13.5/10. Clearly the strain in the eutectic SnPb layer (in the composite solder joint) is about one order of magnitude higher than that in the homogeneous eutectic SnPb solder joint."

    What fucking dipshits! I can't believe those morons at NVidia didn't realize this. Any judge is going to take one look at this in a class-action lawsuit, and NVidia is HISTORY, man!

  11. Re:Sweet! on AMD Graphics Chips Could Last 10X To 100X Longer · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    I once had an English teacher named Mrs. MacDonald. I do believe that was her posting that. It's almost word-for-word what she wrote on one of my term papers.

  12. Re:It's actually about 50 events spanning on 40 ye on Remembering 50 Years of (and Leading Up To) the Internet · · Score: 3, Funny
  13. Re:Not sure I would want his methods on How To Import Raw Political Data For Crunching · · Score: 1

    OH, is that why the ghost of Turing told me to fuck off? Do you suppose that he's pissed that I disregarded his contributions to the cracking of the enigma codes?

    Or do you suppose the joke just went over your head. Go back and read my comment again. The moderators didn't get it, but I am surprised that you didn't either.

  14. Re:Not sure I would want his methods on How To Import Raw Political Data For Crunching · · Score: 1

    Seems you're right. The moderators on Slashdot, infallable judges of teh funnay that they are, have not smiled on that post.

  15. Re:As big as a business card eh? on Web Server On a Business Card · · Score: 1

    You're a man who understands that ladies don't run around with bank card terminals. They want cash.

  16. Re:As big as a business card eh? on Web Server On a Business Card · · Score: 5, Funny

    When I see a really good looking woman, I might want her. But, if the woman is really really good looking, I might say to myself "that's some really expensive pussy. Can I afford it?"

    Having a web server built right into my wallet is very convenient. I can check the balance without taking my wallet out of my pants. Smoothness counts in such situations.

  17. Re:Not sure I would want his methods on How To Import Raw Political Data For Crunching · · Score: 1

    Ask yourself, why would the ghost of Turing tell me to fuck off in response to my comment? Jokes just aren't funny when you've got to explain them.

  18. Re:from TFA on Saudi Arabia Begins To Realize Supercomputer Ambitions · · Score: 5, Funny

    Step up one level. You'll find two princes who both have the same fastest cars in the world, the two fastest race horses in the world, the two largest private jet aircraft in the world, and the largest palaces in the world.

    It's just the next competition.
    Prince A: "My research lab has 1000 scientists!"
    Prince B: "Oh Yea? Well I have 1000 scientists and I'm hiring 10 more next week."
    Observer: "What are they working on?"
    Prince A&B: "Mine's bigger!"

  19. Re:Not sure I would want his methods on How To Import Raw Political Data For Crunching · · Score: 1

    That's complete bullshit. We didn't defeat Hitler by analyzing his data.

    (ghost of Turing) Fuck off!

  20. Re:Goto is good on What To Do Right As a New Programmer? · · Score: 1

    Fuck no. Don't code a state machine as a shitload of gotos.

    If you're object oriented, use a state pattern. If you're functional, your new state function is the return value of the old state function.

    If you're going to use gotos to implement states, please use an obfuscator on your code to make it easier to read. Seriously. State machines are so fucking horrible when coded using gotos that an obfuscator makes that shit EASIER to read. It's the only known exception to the second law of thermodynamics.

  21. Re:Errata on When Dinosaurs Battled Crurotarsans · · Score: 1

    DING! The timer on the oven went off. I pulled out the arm of GuyverDH and began to eat.

  22. Yawn on Complaints Pour In After Digital TV Test · · Score: 2, Interesting

    TV viewers in the lowest age category dropped by 50% in the last year. Netcraft and Nielson confirm it, TV is dying.

  23. Re:Add an accelermeter to the stage seperation log on SpaceX's Fourth Launch Attempt RSN · · Score: 2, Informative

    The second stage fires relatively soon after the first stage is done burning, so there's little time for propellants to move forward in the tanks. The Saturn had a relatively longer gap between first and second stage burnouts so ullage motors were included. The later Saturns actually removed the ullage motors from the second stage, since that one lit off just under 5 seconds after the first stage burned out.

  24. Re:Errata on When Dinosaurs Battled Crurotarsans · · Score: 1

    So I said "I don't know what we do next, GuyverDH." Let's see what Google has to say about this.

    "Why must we look at Google?" asked GuyverDH.

    "Because man-love must be proclaimed to the world," I replied. "And this is 2008. Nothing is more important that Google. When your friends do a search on GuyverDH, what do they see? They see you. They see the life you hide from them. Your wife is also searching. Maybe the people at your church are searching. Your boss certainly is searching. Sure, you eat my jizz, but would you eat my jizz in the middle of the street at noon on a sunny day? That would be love, and that's why I must search for your love in the middle of the street."

    GuyverDH looked at me with knowing eyes. He understood that losing an arm and an eye, eating my skeet, and getting nailed to the floor was not enough. He understood what was important to me. He understand that I wanted him to proclaim his man-love to the world.

    I typed my search. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=guyverdh+larry+becke&btnG=Search

    "This is not good enough, Larry." It was sure as shit not good enough. There were still far too many hits there concerning such boring shit as UNIX administration and ZFS cocksuckery. I had to come up with more shit to do this afternoon. I sat on a stool and looked down at GuyverDH and stroked my cock as I thought about it...

  25. Re:I agree on The Supercomputer Race · · Score: 1

    I envy his boss. He doesn't have to write any code, but he can go to supercomputer conferences and talk about all the neat things he's doing on his supercomputer.