Hot off the press! Pre order your 'The Trolls Of Slashdot - 1995 - 2002' DVD now, and receive a bonus goatse.cx poster!! Thats right, for only $14.99 (plus packaging and handling) you get a DVD chock full of the best trolls, as featured on Slashdot AND a 30x50 poster of the goatse.cx man to freak friends and family out! (If you actually even have any!)
Witness all the thrills, the spills and the FIRST POST!s through out the ages.
Highlights include:
The first First Post! ever. The first BSD is Dying ever, including a 10 minute documentary on the heritage of this particular troll and why BSD is actually NOT dying! An interview with the goatse.cx man, including behind the scenes of that fateful photoshoot. Hidden web links to CmdrTaco and Cowboyneals hidden gay porn directory on the main slashdot site. An interview with Richard M Stallman and Eric S Raymond about the current state of the Gay Nerds Underground scene.
Plus the things they didn't want you to see:
The bitchslapped thread about bad moderation on slashdot The WIPO Troll's shocking demise 'CmdrTaco (editor)'s rant about the demise of slashdot The Linux Gay Conspiracy Open Source Misconceptions
Also included:
Natalie Portman responds to the hot grits The Zero Wing translator steps forward and apologises
More fun than a beowulf cluster of natalie portmans! Order your copy now!
Sponsored by ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
Friends, collegues, trolls and freaks, it has come to my attention that those people who post either trolls or replies to trolls as annonymous cowards have small penises. This correlation is linked by the fact that they are too dickless to stand up and take responsibilty and accountability for what they have to say.
It is clearly a result of living in such a consumer dominated, hedonist, disposable culture based society. People want freedom, but they don't want the responsibilty that comes with it. People want a voice, but they don't want others two know who is speaking, especially when the content is along the lines of "bsd is dying lololol i am suhc a LUnix geex0r.woot wo00t".
My friends, I speak only the truth.
What can be done to remedy the situation? Well, as to enlarging your penis size, I cannot help you. I have never been faced with this problem, so I cannot speak from experience. Perhaps you should speak to CmdrTaco about it, as I understand he has recently undergone an operation relating to this somewhat embarrassing topic.
However, as for covering up the fact that you have a small cock (which, as I have previously stated, is made blaringly obvious by posting as an annonymous coward), here is the simple solution: DON'T BE A CHICKENSHIT TOSSER, DON'T POST ANNONYMOUSLY!
three hundred dollars a day, twenty-one hundred dollars a week, bicycle tires, some fre-roes dropped outta the air, helicopters, aah i got hotdog stand, winter sports in the wintertime, summers sports in the summertime, have aah, kyack races down wisconsin avenue but the ice-rings at the old dear parking lot, aah eightyfour lundex mother, father marines on top of the mountain, got two dollars for a beer?
I came up with this little rhyme last night while to the thought of natalie portman posting Beowulf clusters of Annonymous Coward First Post!s to GNU/Google caches of how all your '*bsd is dying' posts are belong to us while having DCMA violating hot grits poured down her pants:
83 comments and no trolls?! Well, at least nothing at -1 yet.
Maybe you Moderators who us3 TEHJ LUNIX FAGGETS shood so something aobti it@ MOD ME DOWN ASSPILOT. nmuahah, lunix lunix yuo mammas bois yous teh ljunix.
muhahhjahahahahahahahahahahah
BTW, mark me as a foe, and I will mod-bomb you.,
Recently, I was in Seattle conducting business. Whilst in the lounge, I noticed Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac. I was meeting with a very important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she was running a bit late.
Being a forward type of guy, I approached Mr. Gates and introduced myself. I explained to him that I was conducting some very important business and how I would appreciate it if he could throw a quick "Hello, Chris" at me when I was with my client. He agreed.
Ten minutes later while I was conversing with my client, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates. I turned around and looked up at him. He said, "Hi Chris, what's happening?" To which I replied, "Fuck off, Gates, I'm in a meeting."
purchased Yellow Dog, because I feared that even though OSX is BSD under the hood, it wouldn't feel "Unixy" enough for me
You didnt think BSD was 'Unixy' enough for you!!? My god man, BSD unix comes from the original unix code by AT&T. Its over twenty years old. It IS unix. If anything, I think that Linux doesn't feel 'unixy' enough. After spending time using and administering both FreeBSD and Linux, I can't, can't, can't understand why linux has become so popular when it is so fiddly and inconsistent. If anyone out there is serious in trying a real unix, have a look at any of the BSDs. (My favourite is FreeBSD).
I think the 'possession of computer virii' refers to people who create, collect and intentionally distribute virii, not to your clueless mother who sees 'ILOVEYOU' or 'I send this file for your advice' and clicks on it.
There would be no real value of going after people who, not knowing any better, click on Outlook attachments. If anything, it would hinder any real work they were trying to do. I'd say it is there so that it gives a clear and definate power to those who enforce the law, to go directly after the people making them.
Hi. I'm TrollBurger and I'm a total fucking asshole. I also have no life. But then again I'm a troll so that kinda goes without saying.
What I said wasn't hateful, I was merely expressing my exasperation at the low intellectual level of the average poster here on slashdot.
In all seriousness Disevidence (because don't try and pretend it was anyone else responding), did you really think that your post was funny? Calling me a total fucking asshole doesn't really further your cause of painting me as the asshole. At least I've got the balls to say what I think using an my account - I dont wimp out and go the dickless option of posting annonymously.
No, I'm sorry. It didn't have to be said. You just show yourself to be an uncreative slashbot, shitting out the same mindless garbage that stopped becoming funny the second time someone did it. Please challenge your little chimp brain to come up with something better.
i didn't think i'd have to ask this, i mean, it might be a bit personal on my part, but i think it must be said, regardless of how many people it may offend... ok, here goes
Who the fuck modded this up? This is just a link to a picture of a cpu with bent pins. If I were to link to a picture of a car that had been blown up, or wrapped around a tree in a story about car safety and said "Gee I hope they don't ship my new car like this.." I would rightly be moderated down and probably insulted. Stop smoking crack, moderators. This should go down.
The Pinky and Brain are actually from three suburbs over, I met them at my local whore-house's 10th annual Half-yearly Birthday party. They seemed pretty cool, except for the Brain and being so pink. Is that wher e It was? But I didnt finish the rest of the peanut butter? Oh, wait, that was really your next girl door's cat who dressses up as a ferret because her uncle has a bumhole fetish and it likes the pooh. Winney the pooh.
HOW! HOW in fucks name can any human being with even a quarter of a non functioning brain find this fucking shit funny?! My god. And I thought the All your base and beowulf cluster shit was bad enough. This is, with out doubt, the LAMEST fucking crap I've seen in a while. All you fucking geeks need to get out more.
Slashdot Mirror
Hot off the press! Pre order your 'The Trolls Of Slashdot - 1995 - 2002' DVD now, and receive a bonus goatse.cx poster!! Thats right, for only $14.99 (plus packaging and handling) you get a DVD chock full of the best trolls, as featured on Slashdot AND a 30x50 poster of the goatse.cx man to freak friends and family out! (If you actually even have any!)
Witness all the thrills, the spills and the FIRST POST!s through out the ages.
Highlights include:
The first First Post! ever.
The first BSD is Dying ever, including a 10 minute documentary on the heritage of this particular troll and why BSD is actually NOT dying!
An interview with the goatse.cx man, including behind the scenes of that fateful photoshoot.
Hidden web links to CmdrTaco and Cowboyneals hidden gay porn directory on the main slashdot site.
An interview with Richard M Stallman and Eric S Raymond about the current state of the Gay Nerds Underground scene.
Plus the things they didn't want you to see:
The bitchslapped thread about bad moderation on slashdot
The WIPO Troll's shocking demise
'CmdrTaco (editor)'s rant about the demise of slashdot
The Linux Gay Conspiracy
Open Source Misconceptions
Also included:
Natalie Portman responds to the hot grits
The Zero Wing translator steps forward and apologises
More fun than a beowulf cluster of natalie portmans! Order your copy now!
Sponsored by ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
Friends, collegues, trolls and freaks, it has come to my attention that those people who post either trolls or replies to trolls as annonymous cowards have small penises. This correlation is linked by the fact that they are too dickless to stand up and take responsibilty and accountability for what they have to say.
It is clearly a result of living in such a consumer dominated, hedonist, disposable culture based society. People want freedom, but they don't want the responsibilty that comes with it. People want a voice, but they don't want others two know who is speaking, especially when the content is along the lines of "bsd is dying lololol i am suhc a LUnix geex0r.woot wo00t".
My friends, I speak only the truth.
What can be done to remedy the situation? Well, as to enlarging your penis size, I cannot help you. I have never been faced with this problem, so I cannot speak from experience. Perhaps you should speak to CmdrTaco about it, as I understand he has recently undergone an operation relating to this somewhat embarrassing topic.
However, as for covering up the fact that you have a small cock (which, as I have previously stated, is made blaringly obvious by posting as an annonymous coward), here is the simple solution: DON'T BE A CHICKENSHIT TOSSER, DON'T POST ANNONYMOUSLY!
Yeah, how about the original thread here fools.
terrorist?
yes! terrorist!
three hundred dollars a day, twenty-one hundred dollars a week, bicycle tires, some fre-roes dropped outta the air, helicopters, aah i got hotdog stand, winter sports in the wintertime, summers sports in the summertime, have aah, kyack races down wisconsin avenue but the ice-rings at the old dear parking lot, aah eightyfour lundex mother, father marines on top of the mountain, got two dollars for a beer?
please...dont...hurt...me...oh...scary...nerd
If ANYONE posts a '4.???, 5. Profit!' response to the parent post, I will come to your house, and punch you in the teeth.
Except when they want to earn money.
I came up with this little rhyme last night while to the thought of natalie portman posting Beowulf clusters of Annonymous Coward First Post!s to GNU/Google caches of how all your '*bsd is dying' posts are belong to us while having DCMA violating hot grits poured down her pants:
Dirty Panties?
Yes! Dirty Panties!
83 comments and no trolls?! Well, at least nothing at -1 yet. Maybe you Moderators who us3 TEHJ LUNIX FAGGETS shood so something aobti it@ MOD ME DOWN ASSPILOT. nmuahah, lunix lunix yuo mammas bois yous teh ljunix. muhahhjahahahahahahahahahahah BTW, mark me as a foe, and I will mod-bomb you.,
Recently, I was in Seattle conducting business. Whilst in the lounge, I noticed Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac. I was meeting with a very important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she was running a bit late.
Being a forward type of guy, I approached Mr. Gates and introduced myself. I explained to him that I was conducting some very important business and how I would appreciate it if he could throw a quick "Hello, Chris" at me when I was with my client. He agreed.
Ten minutes later while I was conversing with my client, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates. I turned around and looked up at him. He said, "Hi Chris, what's happening?" To which I replied, "Fuck off, Gates, I'm in a meeting."
yes! hello!
dirty panties?!!!!!
You didnt think BSD was 'Unixy' enough for you!!? My god man, BSD unix comes from the original unix code by AT&T. Its over twenty years old. It IS unix. If anything, I think that Linux doesn't feel 'unixy' enough. After spending time using and administering both FreeBSD and Linux, I can't, can't, can't understand why linux has become so popular when it is so fiddly and inconsistent. If anyone out there is serious in trying a real unix, have a look at any of the BSDs. (My favourite is FreeBSD).
There would be no real value of going after people who, not knowing any better, click on Outlook attachments. If anything, it would hinder any real work they were trying to do. I'd say it is there so that it gives a clear and definate power to those who enforce the law, to go directly after the people making them.
What I said wasn't hateful, I was merely expressing my exasperation at the low intellectual level of the average poster here on slashdot.
In all seriousness Disevidence (because don't try and pretend it was anyone else responding), did you really think that your post was funny? Calling me a total fucking asshole doesn't really further your cause of painting me as the asshole. At least I've got the balls to say what I think using an my account - I dont wimp out and go the dickless option of posting annonymously.
No, I'm sorry. It didn't have to be said. You just show yourself to be an uncreative slashbot, shitting out the same mindless garbage that stopped becoming funny the second time someone did it. Please challenge your little chimp brain to come up with something better.
Keep smiling, fellow geeks.
i didn't think i'd have to ask this, i mean, it might be
a bit personal on my part, but i think it must be said,
regardless of how many people it may offend... ok, here
goes
What the hell ??
please post any answers
Who the fuck modded this up? This is just a link to a picture of a cpu with bent pins. If I were to link to a picture of a car that had been blown up, or wrapped around a tree in a story about car safety and said "Gee I hope they don't ship my new car like this.." I would rightly be moderated down and probably insulted. Stop smoking crack, moderators. This should go down.
God, schmod, I want my monkey man.
Thankyou for generating Slashdot autoresponse #297
The Pinky and Brain are actually from three suburbs over, I met them at my local whore-house's 10th annual Half-yearly Birthday party. They seemed pretty cool, except for the Brain and being so pink. Is that wher e It was? But I didnt finish the rest of the peanut butter? Oh, wait, that was really your next girl door's cat who dressses up as a ferret because her uncle has a bumhole fetish and it likes the pooh. Winney the pooh.
HOW! HOW in fucks name can any human being with even a quarter of a non functioning brain find this fucking shit funny?! My god. And I thought the All your base and beowulf cluster shit was bad enough. This is, with out doubt, the LAMEST fucking crap I've seen in a while. All you fucking geeks need to get out more.
Give the girl a pearl necklace