Instead of firewalling the ports P2P uses, try this:
Install Windows XP on every workstation. They'll be so busy crashing, rebooting, re-authenticating, and having their system resources hogged, they won't have a chance to do any filesharing.
Plus, Windows will make them listen to music using Media Player, which will make them want to jam icepicks in their ears. Goodbye P2P!
Not because they wouldn't have been ripped off-- in fact, MS would probably have igven them a bigger ass-reaming than Oracle, Enron, the San Andreas fault, and Richard Ramirez combined.
No, it wouldn't have happened with an MS product because Bill would not let them out of the contract no matter what. He didn't get that rich by writing a lot of checks, you know.
A l33t c4s3 m0d would be to trick out your system with lots of armored cable and black shit so it looks like the Borg. Then you could run Windows on it and it would feel like home.
Who knows "anti-competitive behavior" better than Billzilla?
Take on a little consulting contract here or there, and pretty soon, he'll have $41 billion in the bank. And once his client has driven all the others out of business, Bill can buy it up.
This should increase the speed at which Windows XP crashes dramatically. I can probably fit 1.5 times as many crashes in during the same period of time as on my old motherboards.
C'mon. It's Peru. It's like walking into Wisconsin.
Gates will whip out his $40 billion checkbook, and buy the whole nation outright. Then he'll change the country's name to Microsoftland, and insist that the media refer to his subjects as "'Softies." Uncooperative politicians will be sent to China in a cargo container.
King of All Geeks Bill Gates demands the hand of Carly Fiorina as his Queen.
Other potential suitors for the fair maiden will be forced to best Gates in a tournament, which will consist of contests to see who can release the most buggy software, who can best leverage a monopoly, and who has the worst personal hygene.
The press relsease contains no surprises, just a list of additional bugs and security holes that have been purposefully added to frustrate and antagonize the user.
A spokesman for Microsoft is quoted as saying, "So? What are you going to do about it?"
Word on the street is that Mircrsoft is offering to send all of the laid-off and underpaid tech people to law school in exchange for a promise that, upon graduation, they will join MS's Unholy Army of the Attorneys.
The promise includes a guarantee of lifetime employment.
Part of the DOJ's settlement with Microsoft will give the government access to MS's huge biometric database.
You think the "product activation" for XP was for Microsoft's benefit? Ha! It actually is intedede to retrieve all 10 of your fingerprints from your keyboard (2 for hunt-and-peckers), assign them an ID number, and store them in MS's database along with computer specs and web surfing history. MS came up with this when the antitrust case was first filed, as a possible settlement concession/blackmail option.
REports are that Microsoft is indeed responding to criticism of overly-wordy and/or unclear EULAs.
Office XP 2.0, in fact, ships with a draft simplified EULA reproduced below:
Office XP 2.0 User Agreement:
1 OWN2 jOO!
-B1ll G.
[] Ok [] Cancel
At this very moment, Microsoft's legal team is preparing a lawsuit seeking to enjoin further showings of either film because they claim that the hero's facilitiy with spinning silk webs infringes on Microsoft's trademark of ".Net"
Steve Ballmer's supporting affidavit reads, in part: "Web, net. Same thing. Please see $100,000 in cash, attached hereto as Exhibit 1."
Soon, they'll all be trading under the MSFT symbol. Bill Gates will buy out the company from his petty cash account, as part of his ongoing attempt to own every corporation in the United States.
I am the cognitive dissonance trolling machine. You brain wants to downmod me, but your heart won't let you.
I am invincible. Just like Bill Gates! Fear us! Ha Ha Ha!
Actually, Microsoft is bankrolling this competition. It's their way of getting clever programmers to self-register.
This way, when it finishes buying up the U.S. Government and moves the nation's capital to Redmond, all potential [h|cr]ackers can be rounded up and interred in camps. Security holes in Windows will then be a thing of the past.
Sony also indicated that Windows users will need to have 2Gb of RAM to accommodate both the program files and Windows XP's gargantuan demands.
Mac users will need 32K RAM for program files and OS resources.
Slashdot Mirror
Instead of firewalling the ports P2P uses, try this:
Install Windows XP on every workstation. They'll be so busy crashing, rebooting, re-authenticating, and having their system resources hogged, they won't have a chance to do any filesharing.
Plus, Windows will make them listen to music using Media Player, which will make them want to jam icepicks in their ears. Goodbye P2P!
... you come home from work in a bad mood? Will your computer refuse to run Windows XP until you get a re-activation code for it?
It's called "Windows Update."
Not because they wouldn't have been ripped off-- in fact, MS would probably have igven them a bigger ass-reaming than Oracle, Enron, the San Andreas fault, and Richard Ramirez combined.
No, it wouldn't have happened with an MS product because Bill would not let them out of the contract no matter what. He didn't get that rich by writing a lot of checks, you know.
A l33t c4s3 m0d would be to trick out your system with lots of armored cable and black shit so it looks like the Borg. Then you could run Windows on it and it would feel like home.
Who knows "anti-competitive behavior" better than Billzilla?
Take on a little consulting contract here or there, and pretty soon, he'll have $41 billion in the bank. And once his client has driven all the others out of business, Bill can buy it up.
This should increase the speed at which Windows XP crashes dramatically. I can probably fit 1.5 times as many crashes in during the same period of time as on my old motherboards.
C'mon. It's Peru. It's like walking into Wisconsin.
Gates will whip out his $40 billion checkbook, and buy the whole nation outright. Then he'll change the country's name to Microsoftland, and insist that the media refer to his subjects as "'Softies." Uncooperative politicians will be sent to China in a cargo container.
Voila. End of Linux resistance in Peru.
King of All Geeks Bill Gates demands the hand of Carly Fiorina as his Queen.
Other potential suitors for the fair maiden will be forced to best Gates in a tournament, which will consist of contests to see who can release the most buggy software, who can best leverage a monopoly, and who has the worst personal hygene.
Microsfot released Windows XP 1.1.
The press relsease contains no surprises, just a list of additional bugs and security holes that have been purposefully added to frustrate and antagonize the user.
A spokesman for Microsoft is quoted as saying, "So? What are you going to do about it?"
Word on the street is that Mircrsoft is offering to send all of the laid-off and underpaid tech people to law school in exchange for a promise that, upon graduation, they will join MS's Unholy Army of the Attorneys.
The promise includes a guarantee of lifetime employment.
Part of the DOJ's settlement with Microsoft will give the government access to MS's huge biometric database.
You think the "product activation" for XP was for Microsoft's benefit? Ha! It actually is intedede to retrieve all 10 of your fingerprints from your keyboard (2 for hunt-and-peckers), assign them an ID number, and store them in MS's database along with computer specs and web surfing history. MS came up with this when the antitrust case was first filed, as a possible settlement concession/blackmail option.
It leaves out Microsoft's deadly quarrels with Netscape, Sun, Stac Electronics, the consumer, the USDOJ (surrender treaty being negotiated), etc.
How come the UN isn't prosecuting them for war crimes?
REports are that Microsoft is indeed responding to criticism of overly-wordy and/or unclear EULAs. Office XP 2.0, in fact, ships with a draft simplified EULA reproduced below: Office XP 2.0 User Agreement: 1 OWN2 jOO! -B1ll G. [] Ok [] Cancel
At this very moment, Microsoft's legal team is preparing a lawsuit seeking to enjoin further showings of either film because they claim that the hero's facilitiy with spinning silk webs infringes on Microsoft's trademark of ".Net"
Steve Ballmer's supporting affidavit reads, in part: "Web, net. Same thing. Please see $100,000 in cash, attached hereto as Exhibit 1."
Soon, they'll all be trading under the MSFT symbol. Bill Gates will buy out the company from his petty cash account, as part of his ongoing attempt to own every corporation in the United States.
(Next month, Europe!)
Just think, more vivid rendering of the Blue Screen of Death when Windows crashes.
I am the cognitive dissonance trolling machine. You brain wants to downmod me, but your heart won't let you. I am invincible. Just like Bill Gates! Fear us! Ha Ha Ha!
Actually, Microsoft is bankrolling this competition. It's their way of getting clever programmers to self-register.
This way, when it finishes buying up the U.S. Government and moves the nation's capital to Redmond, all potential [h|cr]ackers can be rounded up and interred in camps. Security holes in Windows will then be a thing of the past.
Sony also indicated that Windows users will need to have 2Gb of RAM to accommodate both the program files and Windows XP's gargantuan demands. Mac users will need 32K RAM for program files and OS resources.
It doesn't matter how fast they make hard drives. It still won't make Windows XP boot in a reasonable amount of time.