We all know that porn drives all the technological progress we evidence around us. What do you think the first telescopic lens was made for? To look at the sky? Hah! Gallileo happened to have a really attractive woman living next door.
So it should be no surprise that laptops are outselling personal computers, because they are much more suited for the Viewing Of and Whacking Off To porn. Personal computers are large, unwieldy, and it's easy to get caught "doing the nasty" in front of them. Not so with laptops, in my personal opinion. They're portable, and can be transferred to anywhere in the house (along with thier pornographic contents) for ease of masturbation.
What sort of innovations does the future hold? I can't say for sure. But I can say for certain that they will bring pornography to us in more detail than ever before.
Surak: As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Aardvark. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're Ben R. McIlwain, college-bound high school graduate, you have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your mother carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the slashdot alias Ignorant Aardvark and are guilty of virtually every modding crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Aardvark. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Cowboyneal. Now whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous poll option alive. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
These idiotic telemarketers are as immature as 3-year-olds! This is actually their thought process: "They got annoyed at our telephone solicitations and are going to shut us down, so we'll retaliate by spamming them with e-mail, which hasn't been regulated yet." And this is our thought process: "We didn't want your crap when you offered it over the phone, and we certainly don't want your crap now that you're going to spam us over the net because we stopped you from spamming our phones. Won't you just go bankrupt already?!"
I never understood the slashdot effect. How can a bunchh of slashdotters bring a system to its knees when they dont even RTFA?
Some of them use that 5X speed web browser which automatically caches everything the page you're looking at links to. Well that's the only explanation I can think of.
All right, I'm curious -- how'd you decide to use "aardvark" in your nick? That the only two posters I'm aware of with nethack-related sigs should both be named after that beast is a rather interesting coincidence.
You're right, the odds of that are very low! I have no idea where I got "Aardvark" from. It just sort of popped into my mind. I doubt it was some sort of subconcious thing from seeing your name and your Nethack-associated posts. I really don't have an explanation, except for this: even in New York, million to one odds happen eight times every day.
However, if you are a fungoid, rotten meat will not cause death. I don't know what this is supposed to say - that only a fungus can eat SPAM(tm) and live, or that only a fungus would want to eat spam.
And yes, I know a bit too much about Nethack. Check my sig if you don't believe me. And for the above example, may I reference lines 1231 through 1234 of the Nethack source code v. 3.4.1 in the file eat.c
Keep in mind, up to this point all the people (or students) the RIAA has sued have settled. What would happen if at least one stands up and goes to court?
Hey, students are people too, you insensitive clod!
The South Koreans plan to appeal to the World Trade Organisation.
Ummm... so?! Last time I checked, America, for better or worse, does whatever the hell it damn well pleases. We didn't need NATO's permission to go bomb the crap out of Iraq, and we sure as hell don't need the WTO's permission to levy tariffs on U.S. imports!!!
"I wonder if the release of these documents will deter the conspiracy theorists?"
To a hardcore conspiracist, any evidence against a conspiracy is in fact evidence in favor of it. "See, I knew we couldn't trust those government types, they faked the logs!"
Look at what happened with the Moon landing conspiracy. NASA was going to publish a book debunking the conspiracy, but stopped when people told them how stupid it was to waste time addressing the conspiracy. To the conspiracy theorists, this just became more evidence in favor of the conspiracy. "They were going to publish a book debunking us - but they didn't go through with it! We were right!"
Last time I checked, Linux came with gcc, and java, Perl, Python, PHP, etc., are only a free download's step away. Real hackers, real programmers aren't going to get their start on Windows: it'll be on Linux.
I haven't used.zip in a long time. There's, quite simply, much better stuff out there. My overall favorite solution is.tar.gz, but there are always times on Windows machines I want to split a file into multiple parts (like to post it on a newsgroup), so then I use WinRAR. Everything I've mentioned has better compression algorithms than Win/PK Zip, and I just can't imagine going back.
I watched a show on TLC about this. It doesn't work: you know why? Because the slot machine technicians go around to all the slot machines throughout the night when the casino isn't open and adjust them. This includes swapping around the EPROMs (so you can't figure out a sequence for a particular machine because the insides are now inside another machine and you don't know which).
I'm sick and tired of people whining about privacy concerns. I'm sure they're the same people who whined ten years when barcodes were coming in - "We're gonna lose privacy. Waaaaaa." Get over it. We didn't really lose privacy, and it made inventorying a lot simpler. I don't see how putting RFID tags in place of barcodes is going to cost us any privacy. So someone can query you wirelessly and find out what you bought - big f'ing deal! They could just look at the box, too!
All I need is some soothing music, some candles, a woman, nine months, and I can build my own awesome "computer" that runs on a neural network, billions of neurons running simultaneously.
Unfortunately this is Slashdot, so I have all the time in the world, but no woman...
This article is "+5, Funny" Gold!
on
Chicken Run
·
· Score: 1
Here are some choice cuts from the article (some parts modified for funniness):
"You can't herd chickens."
The birds flap, scratch and befoul their captors. Most [manual chicken scratchers] can tolerate only a few months of that before flying the coop.
Now after years of attempts that ended in failure, including one ill-fated chicken vacuum, a robotic chickenator, and a chicken spring, manufacturers have finally produced machines capable of catching and caging chickens.
Looking like a combination airport baggage carousel, tank, and mound of feathers...
The nine-ton, 42-foot-long contraption crept closer, slowly sweeping a low metal ramp back and forth through the flock like a giant scythe.
Whoosh! Each chicken was whisked up the belt into a small compartment, where a burst of air pushed it into a metal chute. Within seconds, the bird came to rest, blinking, still on its feet inside a wire cage.
"We support using machines that reduce the panic, fear, horror, and downright indignation of the chickens," says Karen Davis.
Human catchers are expected to snag as many as 1,000 birds an hour. As the men tire during eight-hour shifts, they accidentally slam birds against the cages, breaking wings and legs. Ouch!
Early devices included the chicken vacuum, which sucked up birds and shot them through tubes to waiting trucks. But the birds tended to plug up the tubes and turn somersaults as they traveled inside the contraption.
At Silsoe, Mr. Berry tried everything to force the birds to move under their own power. He flashed strobe lights in their eyes, hoping to startle them into action. He tried goosing them along with tiny jets of air. Nothing worked. Obviously he didn't try putting a road between the slaughterhouse and the pen, 'cause, then, y'know, the chickens would've crossed it...
His eureka moment came after realizing that soft rubber fingers could be used to gently close around each bird, ushering it onto a conveyer belt -- a sort of Venus' flytrap for chickens.
This is definitely the best article/. has seen in a long while - thank God for chicken Venus flytraps! This stuff is comedic gold!
Oh, by the way, my friend from highschool made a game called Chickenator 2000. Here's a URL: http://gamestation.gamesweb.sk/games/chicken /hra.p hp3
I imagine it happens quite often that a copyright holder dies before 50 years elapse after he files for the original copyright. What then? Can his relatives make the payment, or is the copyright doomed?
And what's the point of the measly $1.00 fine? Basically everyone would pay that fee, unless the aforementioned case is true - they are dead.
Slashdot Mirror
We all know that porn drives all the technological progress we evidence around us. What do you think the first telescopic lens was made for? To look at the sky? Hah! Gallileo happened to have a really attractive woman living next door.
So it should be no surprise that laptops are outselling personal computers, because they are much more suited for the Viewing Of and Whacking Off To porn. Personal computers are large, unwieldy, and it's easy to get caught "doing the nasty" in front of them. Not so with laptops, in my personal opinion. They're portable, and can be transferred to anywhere in the house (along with thier pornographic contents) for ease of masturbation.
What sort of innovations does the future hold? I can't say for sure. But I can say for certain that they will bring pornography to us in more detail than ever before.
Driver makes gestures
Car swerves down into a ditch
Hands not on the wheel
Surak: As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Aardvark. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're Ben R. McIlwain, college-bound high school graduate, you have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your mother carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the slashdot alias Ignorant Aardvark and are guilty of virtually every modding crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Aardvark. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Cowboyneal. Now whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous poll option alive. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
Ignorant Aardvark: Whoaa.
"He blows things up so you don't have to"
What?! But I want to blow things up!
These idiotic telemarketers are as immature as 3-year-olds! This is actually their thought process: "They got annoyed at our telephone solicitations and are going to shut us down, so we'll retaliate by spamming them with e-mail, which hasn't been regulated yet." And this is our thought process: "We didn't want your crap when you offered it over the phone, and we certainly don't want your crap now that you're going to spam us over the net because we stopped you from spamming our phones. Won't you just go bankrupt already?!"
I never understood the slashdot effect. How can a bunchh of slashdotters bring a system to its knees when they dont even RTFA?
Some of them use that 5X speed web browser which automatically caches everything the page you're looking at links to. Well that's the only explanation I can think of.
All right, I'm curious -- how'd you decide to use "aardvark" in your nick? That the only two posters I'm aware of with nethack-related sigs should both be named after that beast is a rather interesting coincidence.
You're right, the odds of that are very low! I have no idea where I got "Aardvark" from. It just sort of popped into my mind. I doubt it was some sort of subconcious thing from seeing your name and your Nethack-associated posts. I really don't have an explanation, except for this: even in New York, million to one odds happen eight times every day.
However, if you are a fungoid, rotten meat will not cause death. I don't know what this is supposed to say - that only a fungus can eat SPAM(tm) and live, or that only a fungus would want to eat spam.
And yes, I know a bit too much about Nethack. Check my sig if you don't believe me. And for the above example, may I reference lines 1231 through 1234 of the Nethack source code v. 3.4.1 in the file eat.c
Keep in mind, up to this point all the people (or students) the RIAA has sued have settled. What would happen if at least one stands up and goes to court?
Hey, students are people too, you insensitive clod!
"Imagine a Mandrake cluster of ..."
:-(
That just doesn't have the same ring to it
The South Koreans plan to appeal to the World Trade Organisation.
... so?! Last time I checked, America, for better or worse, does whatever the hell it damn well pleases. We didn't need NATO's permission to go bomb the crap out of Iraq, and we sure as hell don't need the WTO's permission to levy tariffs on U.S. imports!!!
Ummm
It could be a lot worse. It could be Apollo 1. Or Challenger. Or Columbia ...
Translation of the next obfuscated memo to come out of IBM:
No, seriously, you need to fuck off now. It's not funny anymore.
And soon, the headline will be, "IBM Terminates SCO." Payback's a bitch, ain't it?
"I wonder if the release of these documents will deter the conspiracy theorists?"
To a hardcore conspiracist, any evidence against a conspiracy is in fact evidence in favor of it. "See, I knew we couldn't trust those government types, they faked the logs!"
Look at what happened with the Moon landing conspiracy. NASA was going to publish a book debunking the conspiracy, but stopped when people told them how stupid it was to waste time addressing the conspiracy. To the conspiracy theorists, this just became more evidence in favor of the conspiracy. "They were going to publish a book debunking us - but they didn't go through with it! We were right!"
Sure, now everybody can grok PageRank, but I, for the life of me, cannot grok grok.
Last time I checked, Linux came with gcc, and java, Perl, Python, PHP, etc., are only a free download's step away. Real hackers, real programmers aren't going to get their start on Windows: it'll be on Linux.
If I could patent "first post" or "In soviet Russia ..." or "1. ... 2. ??? 3. Profit!", then I could make millions off of Anonymous Cowards in no time.
I haven't used .zip in a long time. There's, quite simply, much better stuff out there. My overall favorite solution is .tar.gz, but there are always times on Windows machines I want to split a file into multiple parts (like to post it on a newsgroup), so then I use WinRAR. Everything I've mentioned has better compression algorithms than Win/PK Zip, and I just can't imagine going back.
I am a mirror. Click on me. It's in .mov format, by the way.
I watched a show on TLC about this. It doesn't work: you know why? Because the slot machine technicians go around to all the slot machines throughout the night when the casino isn't open and adjust them. This includes swapping around the EPROMs (so you can't figure out a sequence for a particular machine because the insides are now inside another machine and you don't know which).
I'm sick and tired of people whining about privacy concerns. I'm sure they're the same people who whined ten years when barcodes were coming in - "We're gonna lose privacy. Waaaaaa." Get over it. We didn't really lose privacy, and it made inventorying a lot simpler. I don't see how putting RFID tags in place of barcodes is going to cost us any privacy. So someone can query you wirelessly and find out what you bought - big f'ing deal! They could just look at the box, too!
All I need is some soothing music, some candles, a woman, nine months, and I can build my own awesome "computer" that runs on a neural network, billions of neurons running simultaneously.
...
Unfortunately this is Slashdot, so I have all the time in the world, but no woman
Here are some choice cuts from the article (some parts modified for funniness):
...
...
/. has seen in a long while - thank God for chicken Venus flytraps! This stuff is comedic gold!
n /hra.p hp3
"You can't herd chickens."
The birds flap, scratch and befoul their captors. Most [manual chicken scratchers] can tolerate only a few months of that before flying the coop.
Now after years of attempts that ended in failure, including one ill-fated chicken vacuum, a robotic chickenator, and a chicken spring, manufacturers have finally produced machines capable of catching and caging chickens.
Looking like a combination airport baggage carousel, tank, and mound of feathers
The nine-ton, 42-foot-long contraption crept closer, slowly sweeping a low metal ramp back and forth through the flock like a giant scythe.
Whoosh! Each chicken was whisked up the belt into a small compartment, where a burst of air pushed it into a metal chute. Within seconds, the bird came to rest, blinking, still on its feet inside a wire cage.
"We support using machines that reduce the panic, fear, horror, and downright indignation of the chickens," says Karen Davis.
Human catchers are expected to snag as many as 1,000 birds an hour. As the men tire during eight-hour shifts, they accidentally slam birds against the cages, breaking wings and legs. Ouch!
Early devices included the chicken vacuum, which sucked up birds and shot them through tubes to waiting trucks. But the birds tended to plug up the tubes and turn somersaults as they traveled inside the contraption.
At Silsoe, Mr. Berry tried everything to force the birds to move under their own power. He flashed strobe lights in their eyes, hoping to startle them into action. He tried goosing them along with tiny jets of air. Nothing worked. Obviously he didn't try putting a road between the slaughterhouse and the pen, 'cause, then, y'know, the chickens would've crossed it
His eureka moment came after realizing that soft rubber fingers could be used to gently close around each bird, ushering it onto a conveyer belt -- a sort of Venus' flytrap for chickens.
This is definitely the best article
Oh, by the way, my friend from highschool made a game called Chickenator 2000. Here's a URL:
http://gamestation.gamesweb.sk/games/chicke
I imagine it happens quite often that a copyright holder dies before 50 years elapse after he files for the original copyright. What then? Can his relatives make the payment, or is the copyright doomed?
And what's the point of the measly $1.00 fine? Basically everyone would pay that fee, unless the aforementioned case is true - they are dead.