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User: illuminata

illuminata's activity in the archive.

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Comments · 416

  1. Re:Revolt! on Robotic Bubble Baths for Japan's Elderly · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe, but I don't think that a robot can do much with knowing how warm to make the dead kitty's milk, the nearest location of Old Country Buffet, and changing a diaper.

  2. Wait a Second... on Robotic Bubble Baths for Japan's Elderly · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Is this why we've had more news posts lately? Maybe we could get a comment?

    ...and why am I hearing that Smothers Brothers song playing? Oh... eww.

  3. Fingers Crossed on Macromedia to Port Flash MX to Linux? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh Macromedia, please please please/b> bring DREAMWEAVER. I"m having a hell of a time with posting comments to Slashdot. It would make my life easier if I wouldn't have to do my own HMTL.

  4. Even Worse on Your Future Car's Hood Will Be Welded Shut · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Sure, welding your car hood shut might suck, but I think that a bigger problem would be if somebody tried to sew my pants (flyless) to my skin while I was wearing them.

    Somebody's gotta make the next generation.

    So, while time is spent sqabbling over this Volvo diversion, ask yourself this...

    With no access to illuminata's goods, where will your future come from?

    According to recent scientific studies, a whopping 63% of the next generation's population is expected to come from illuminata. That's 28% more babies than basketball Wilt Chamberlain was able to produce, and infitity% more than comedian Tom Green. Restricting access below illuminata's pants will result in a major population decline, not to mention the overall hapiness of the female population.

    Volvo might want to restrict access to your car parts, but do you really want to restrict access to illuminata, to the future?

    The car industry is only welding car hoods because they are being paid to do so. The people industry depends on illuminata, yet they want to stop illuminata out of jealousy. What a shame, the people industry never even considered what catastrophic effects that not allowing illuminata to breed might just have.

    This is much more than just an equal access issue, this is an issue of the survival of mankind. Tell your friends. Tell your wife. Tell everybody that you want illuminata to breed. Tell them that you want humanity to have a future.

    This message was brought to you by the illuminata's Global Future Fund.

  5. Well Shit on Me on Digital 'Ghosts' To Guide Students On Campus · · Score: 5, Funny

    College kids can breathe easily. For once, it's not the acid talking.

  6. Re:Will this work in apartment buildings? on Cincinnati Gets Broadband Over Power Lines · · Score: 3, Funny

    Who needs an internet connection if you have a bimbo around?

    Well, pending that she's not as old as her hairdryer...

  7. Bah-brah on PARC's New Networking Architecture · · Score: 4, Funny

    Essentially, it allows two devices to teach each other how to talk amongst themselves.

    What happens if one of them starts to get a little verklempt?

  8. Re:Superflu on Superflu Being Brewed in the Lab · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Well, that's where we have confliction. You're indeed correct on the name. But, considering that I'm 6'3", I'm also a big I.

    I wouldn't want people to get confused with little i, because that sounds like little guy, and my policy has always been "fuck the little guy, I'm the big guy." So, I had to go with big I.

    If you want, you can pretend that there is a big I instead of a little i.

  9. Superflu on Superflu Being Brewed in the Lab · · Score: 5, Funny

    Isn't that a bit superfluous?

    Oh snap, oooooh snap! Score one for the big I!

  10. Re:Don't go the way of Nintendo!!! on Xbox 2 Controller Loses Two Buttons, PS3 Gains One? · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Anyway, I really like the original X-Box controller (not the slimmed down one). It's a great fit for my hands

    The size worked very well for me, too. My only problem was the diagonal slant of the buttons in combination of them being right above the right thumbstick. Instead of being able to actually grip the controller, I had to kind of let it relax in my hands, otherwise my thumb would keep moving the right thumbstick. And, since I couldn't actually grip it, it didn't feel as if I had as much control. Because of this, I had to switch to the controller S.

    If Microsoft would have just put more space in between the buttons and the right thumbstick by removing the diagonal slant, I wouldn't have any complaints.

  11. One trigger button? on Xbox 2 Controller Loses Two Buttons, PS3 Gains One? · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Most current fps games have a secondary fire (sometimes a scope or other feature if you're getting technical) on their weapons. They normally require a second button or trigger. Having just one trigger button doesn't make sense unless Sony plans on changing the fundamentals of most fps games. In this case, having the trigger for primary fire and a non-trigger button for secondary fire would feel clunky, if you ask me.

    I'm not going to buy this rumor just yet, and hopefully it won't come true.

  12. Re:Sampling on Eminem Sues Apple for Sampling his Samples · · Score: 1

    I've also heard that Big Punisher sued the rap duo for cheeseburgers due to his alleged unauthorized involvement in the song. It just turns out that he was lying because he was hungry.

    Disclaimer: I hate rap.

  13. Re:Wicked. on Flash Mob Supercomputer? · · Score: 1

    Oh, man, don't take it the wrong way. I'm not really arguing with you one way or another.

    People are probably just listening to my sig.

  14. Re:Wicked. on Flash Mob Supercomputer? · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Singer: Let me see your nodes!

    Crowd: *yells*

    Singer (to promoter): What the hell is a node anyways?

    Promoter: Don't worry about it, just go with it!

    Singer (to crowd again): I said let me see those fuckin' nodes!

    Crowd: *yells louder*

    Singer: Fuck right. That's what I fuckin' like to hear. Now, for our next motherfuckin' song, I want to see the most massive, the most fuckin' atrocious motherfuckin' pit on this motherfuckin' planet.

    Yeah, that scenario was implausible. Thus, I don't see supercomputers in concerts anytime soon.

  15. Re:I'm there! on Flash Mob Supercomputer? · · Score: 3, Funny

    so, I'm going, obviously, but my big question is, beyond benchmarking, are we going to actually COMPUTE anything?

    I can't say for sure. Let's hope for their sake that somebody brings a keyboard with a pi button on it, otherwise the whole damn thing will be a waste.

  16. Re:Thank You, Slashdot on Total Information Awareness, Disguised And Alive · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Maybe he was just aware of a spelling troll coming around and kicking himself in the karmatic balls.

    I saw that coming to.

  17. Thank You, Slashdot on Total Information Awareness, Disguised And Alive · · Score: -1, Flamebait

    I, to, am totally aware.

    Hey, this act isn't so bad, afterall!

  18. What? on New Cast Information For 'Hitchhiker's' Movie · · Score: 0, Interesting

    You mean Warwick Davis won't be up for the next season of The Littlest Groom.

    Son of a bitch.

  19. Re:Pfff... on Jet-powered Nausicaa Glider Project · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    No, no, it's just that the characters that they intended to use look Wingding-y.

    It's fucking crazy man. How do they read?

  20. Pfff... on Jet-powered Nausicaa Glider Project · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    God dammit! I can't read the slashdot.jp site. I think they used Wingdings for their font. Why the hell would they do that?

    But, I do know why this is for women only... Yep, that's right. The designer wants some poon. They couldn't fool me.

    It'll come back to bite him in the ass, though. Think about it, if a chick is crazy enough to fly on one of those damn things, imagine what she'll do to him!

  21. Re:Wouldn't Get Too Excited on Xbox Live Feature Upgrades Include Online Storage? · · Score: 1

    Xbox Live uses the same VoIP system via dashboard as it does in game.

    Well, it must be a problem with their own implementation, because there is a large difference in voice quality. The quality also varies somewhat from game to game, but the dashboard is the worst. I've chatted with many people from the dashboard and they have the same experience.

  22. Wouldn't Get Too Excited on Xbox Live Feature Upgrades Include Online Storage? · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Their last feature upgrade did offer a little bit of an improvement in the dashboard (GUI), but their out of game voice chat is a complete mess. It sounds terrible in comparison to chatting in a game! Voices are heard gurgled and staticky even with a first party microphone (for those who don't go on XBox Live, most third party microphones are horrible). I hope that this time around the new features are better.

    In fact, I think that they should worry more about improving upon the ideas that they've already implemented. For one, get the voice chat to work right. Then, how about adding some card games or board games for the people to play while chatting? It's not very fun to stare at a menu when you could be doing something in the meantime.

    As of now, most people just set up an empty private server to chat in a game where they met their friend. Hell, it sounds better that way and you have something to do.

  23. Bless You, Child on Robosapien: Latest Toy Robot From Mark Tilden · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, I have to give this guy credit, for when he was playing God he didn't choose to create RoboSapien in his own image.

    I mean, shit, a big robotic dude with mean chops would freak me out.

  24. Re:geeks at work! on Price-Fixing Settlement Checks in the Mail · · Score: 1

    Whoops, you already did something wrong.

    I just wanted to say it's great that how the people won out this time against the corporational greed of the RIAA

    Corporational? Look, greed is greed, period. There's no need to make it as if a company has a more evil kind of greed or that a company is more suspect to greed. Greed lies within people, not companies.

    no doubt there some geeks working in the background, and although we'll never know their names let's take a minute and think about how much worse we'd be if it weren't for them and what _WE_ can do today to improve the lives of our fellow humans.

    Aw, come on! This piece rah-rah bullshit has karma whoring written all over it (and a bad whoring attempt at that). You could take this post and easily slap it on many other stories around here with a simple replacement of RIAA with whatever group is being discussed.

    How much worse would it be if the RIAA won? Not much, they'd be shooting themselves in the foot. It's not like this music is as necessary for survival as, say, food or water, so eventually people would quit buying it if the prices did become too much. But, people didn't stop buying when they very well could have...

  25. Re:...giving 5.6 million CD's to educational progr on Price-Fixing Settlement Checks in the Mail · · Score: 4, Funny

    My inside sources say that those CDs are just a bunch of Soul Asylum and Living Colour records.