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  1. Re:Great... on Mexican Attorney General Gets Microchip in Arm · · Score: 1

    4 out of 5 professional assassins choose a Hattori Hanzo blade. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

  2. Re:Try Gentoo on Fedora Core 3 Test 1 Released · · Score: 1

    No, I think you've got a Cray supercomputer, and compiling your compiler only takes 3 minutes, and you're STILL done before it is. Heh.

  3. Re:Announce Text on Fedora Core 3 Test 1 Released · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's already starting to act slow, so I might as well post it as an AC to avoid karma whoring.

    DUDE!!! Why on earth would you AVOID karma whoring? Don't you know there are children starving for karma in China? Waste not, want not, all that jazz? Karma whoring is the noble backbone of Slashdot civilization! It's one of the four holy pillars of Slashdot, the other three being 'In Soviet Russia', 'Beowulf Cluster', and 'Natalie Portman's Hot Grits'. No wonder you posted AC, the outrage of someone AVOIDING karma whoring would follow you for all eternity. You'd have an angry mob of geeks with torches and pitchforks angrily camped outside your castle shouting "Send out the heretic!"

    Gandalf should have chosen YOU to carry the ring, you've obviously got a stronger will than Frodo. My God. You passed up a perfectly good Karma Whore! My mind reels. That's the geek equivalent of purposely puking on Pamela Anderson to make sure she doesn't accidentally have wild meaningless sex with you.

    It's. Just. Not. Right.

    Please, think seriously about what I've said -- Friends don't let friends pass up a good Karma Whore. Don't let it happen again.

  4. The Church of the Painted Breast Is A SCAM!! on 419 Scammer Gets Scammed · · Score: 5, Funny

    If I were this guy, I'd forget about the spammers -- I'd be more worried about his involvement at the Church of the Painted Breast. I just asked my Most Holy Pastor here at the Church of Scientology, and he told me the Painted Breasters are a scam and just a "stupid made up religion to scam the weakminded out of their money". And my pastor isn't lying -- in fact, he *can't* lie, even if he wanted to. He cast out the demons of lying when that exorcism went on sale last fall. I wish I had the $23,500 required; all I had was $15,000, so I just exorcised the demons of disobedience and free thought.

  5. Do They WANT To Fail? on Is Dell Just Testing the Market? · · Score: 1, Insightful

    ... I've tried L'Inspire (apparently some sort of French Linux distro) when my buddy bought it. It was nice, in a mindless sort of way, but within a week of using it I formatted my HD and reinstalled Debian. The stupid limitations of Linspire got irritating real fast. If Dell's testing the waters, they won't get an accurate result using Linspire, because Linux geeks will be the first to buy a Linux CD when offered the choice of Win vs. Lin. Only later will regular users start to choose Linux.

    Maybe Dell WANTS to fail, to justify future lack of Linux support. Because I can't see this being successful. Especially because they will undoubtedly have various devices that don't run under Linux -- modem, wireless card, etc. Until the hardware is 100% supported, Linux won't make inroads with the common man. And until they ditch Linspire, they won't make inroads with geeks.

  6. Big Problem With This Alliance... on Browser Wars 2004 · · Score: 1

    ... the last Apple alliance I remember hearing of, Apple-IBM-Motorola (working on the PPC chips), had a cool acronym, AIM. That sounds powerful, like these guys have a direction and a goal. The result of this was the very nifty G5.

    However, the alliance of Mozilla, Apple, and Opera gives us Mao. Now if that doesn't prove open-source is communisk I don't know what does.

    The only alliance worse than this was Opera-Symantec-Apple-Mozilla-Akamai, which hosted Browser-based antivirus software, and had the unfortunate acronym OSAMA.

  7. Re:10,000 Words And Not A Shred of Meaning on iTMS Sells 100,000,000th Song · · Score: 1

    And, in other news, Kazaa serves its 100-billionth song

    Yes, and "congrats to Kazaa for a job well done."

  8. I Have Something Even Cooler... on The iPod Gets WiFi, Sort Of · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...it's called, uh.. a radio. You guys should try it. It cost me like a tenth of what my iPod cost me, and already has some sort of integrated wifi. I've listened to like a million songs and didn't pay for ANY of them! I don't know how Kazaa is gonna survive in the face of this new technology. I just hope it stays underground, otherwise Microsoft or someone will buy it all up and ruin it.

  9. Re:this should be a definitive guide to installing on OpenBSD Review at DistroWatch · · Score: 1

    Thanks for being the 10%. Cobind, eh? Haven't heard of that one. Thanks, I'll check it out.

    OpenBSD definitely doesn't focus on ease-of-use, because the very hardcore Theo et al see "wizards" and the like as security holes. OpenBSD makes you KNOW what you're doing before you do it -- kinda unfair for us Linux guys who usually try things at random until it works. It's kind of a pain, but overall, if you value security, the initial pain of setting up XFree86 on OpenBSD is worth it. Once you get point and clicking, it's all the same.....

    I also think I should have mentioned that one of the things that makes OpenBSD's install so bloody easy is that there is a line-by-line complete example install in the liner notes on the CD! Where the example guy puts 80m for /var, you can put 80m. I ape the guy and it works perfect. Another testament to BSD's awesome documentation, I guess (and there are instructions for pkg_add and ports on the back of the liner notes, pkg_add being OpenBSD's apt-get, and ports being like Gentoo's source-based emerge).

    Yours truly,
    Linux-Toting Slashdot Overlord

  10. Re:The Problem With The Article.... on A Six-Step Plan for Apple · · Score: 1

    True, but the possible selection of PC laptops is MUCH greater than the selection of Mac laptops. If I don't want Gigabit ethernet, but I do want a widescreen, I can find 40 laptops which fit the bill. If I want a black casing, there are many sources. If I want a Biometric Fingerprint Scanner Security System built in, MicronPC's have it.

    Apple only has a very small product line, which is understandable. They're one company, while the WinTel side has dozens of companies -- all competing to get the sale. It is much easier to find a product which fits your criteria exactly on the PC side.

  11. The Problem With The Article.... on A Six-Step Plan for Apple · · Score: 2, Insightful
    ... is that it begins with the assumption that Apple needs fixing. It doesn't. Much.

    Apple has a different business model, "building the whole widget". Building the whole widget is pretty incompatible with cutting prices, giving up control, etc etc. They can't change things about themselves without making... changes.... ;-P and the reason people like them is because they are NOT a bargain basement commodity PC systems vendor *cough*You-Know-Who*cough*.

    I think your six points are actually two repeated many ways - "make it cheaper" and "sell it" ....

    Point 1: Price trumps style in the computer market

    If you WANT style, you have to PAY for style. Without the style, Apple is just a little Dell. Buy a Dell if you want cheap. You will be happy with the bang-for-the-buck.

    Point 2: Make 'em cool and cheap

    Didn't You just say this?

    Point 3: Ditch the all-in-one mantra

    Buy a PowerMac. The $5,000 kickass flatpanel definitely is not included in the PowerMac price, if that's what you want. Is this a sideways way to say "Make 'em cool and cheap?" But more importantly to Apple's marketshare, Apple should allow users to customize their laptops A LOT MORE. I've never SEEN Gigabit ethernet, I don't have any Bluetooth, Firewire, or USB2 devices, I don't use my 56K modem, etc. BUT I PAID FOR ALL OF IT. Like "Linux is only free if your time is worthless", "Apple prices are only competitive IF YOU WOULD HAVE BOUGHT ALL THAT BUNDLED CRAP ANYWAY". I wouldn't have, I could have slimmed my PB down to $1000 by cutting out the features I don't use, don't want, and weigh down my computer unneccessarily.

    Point 4: Sell that soap
    Point 5: Sell that soap II
    Point 6: Sell security

    You got it right there. Apple should do something to get their name --no, not their name, their -product- out there. Believe it or not, the most overhyped company on the planet is still basically unknown to many people. Everybody knows how COOL and TRENDY Apple is, but people don't even know they have icons and a mouse (I'm not kidding, the people at work ask me what it cost me to get the internet for my PowerBook). But to know them (the product) is to love them, so it basically sells itself once I reassure people Apples don't have many hidden flaws. "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is..." except in this case. They ARE very good, depending on who you are and what you're doing with it. But yes, Apple certainly blew it by not having ads showing off OS X. I mean, just 30 seconds of the Dock maximizing as you roll your mouse* over it is worth 2% of the market.

    Now, I'll be the first to admit that as a user, there are some things about Apple that piss me off -- namely, the other Apple users. But lowering the price on a Mac will only open the floodgates to loserdom, and the day I see a Mac in a trailerpark is the day I'm buying a Dell.

    And I will run Linux on that Dell, just because I can. And because it seems nobody else can. There's a built-in IQ cutoff point below which running Linux is not permitted. That makes Linux even cooler, more 733T, and less trailerpark-friendly than the Mac is.

    * The crippled Apple One-Button Mouse should not be shown on tv, as it is the computer equivalent of a one-legged handicapped semi useless single-buttoned mindless POS and a glaring example of Apple's stubborn insistence that the masses are wrong and Steve is right. Don't show that on tv. It's bad. And yes, I know I can buy a USEFUL mouse, but I and everybody else will complain until you can get it as an option on your PowerBook. See my notes on Point 3.

  12. Re:New Years Eve on OpenBSD Review at DistroWatch · · Score: 1

    And as we all know, Chix Dig OpenBSD.

  13. Re:this should be a definitive guide to installing on OpenBSD Review at DistroWatch · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I got OpenBSD running the first time I tried it (2.x); I'll let everyone here in on my secret - I READ THE INSTRUCTIONS THAT POPPED UP ON MY SCREEN.

    That's it. When your computer asks you a question, read the paragraph above it explaining the question before you just hit 'Enter' without thinking. This tip actually works for every OS. When my mom can't figure out how to use her email or something, I make her actually read the questions her app pops up before she impatiently hammers the 'enter' key to get through. And she realizes that nearly EVERY app is user-friendly enough to use.

    Ironically, about 90% of you skipped half of the above text and just went on to the next post.

  14. Re:duh! on Microsoft's Midlife Crisis · · Score: 1

    Who does MS think they are, *APPLE*?

  15. As A Linux and Mac Zealot I Can Safely Say... on OpenBSD Review at DistroWatch · · Score: 1

    ... OpenBSD is the One True Religion.

    Although NOBODY has ever "gotten" my OpenBSD Blowfish T-Shirt. The joke is as undecipherable as the Blowfish algorithm itself.

  16. My Great Idea... on Using Blogs To Dispense Venture Capital · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... a website where nerds can get together and read about stuff that matters to them, and people can comment and then others can moderate those--- nah... that'd never work. Who'd actually pay for that? Duh.

    Therefore, my new great idea is the Sex Helmet.

  17. Re:Epilogue on Security Statistics and Operating System Conventional Wisdom · · Score: 1
    Re:Epilogue (Score:3, Funny)
    by bfg9000 (726447) on 15:35 Monday 05 July 2004 (#9615181)
    LOL! Shoulda seen it coming...
  18. Hmmm.... on U.S. Government Sometimes Jams Keyless Car Locks? · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hear the military is why Windows keeps crashing too. At least, that's what my Microsoft Rep just told me.

  19. Re:Epilogue on Security Statistics and Operating System Conventional Wisdom · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mod INSIGHTFUL, not FUNNY. There's nothing funny about choosing OpenBSD for security; it's the BEST solution by far, and it's sheer arrogance to think that the other OSes mentioned here are anywhere close to a properly configured OpenBSD box. I still use (and love) Linux and MacOS X for what they excel at; but if I was building an Internet Banking site, I'd choose OpenBSD without blinking.

    Security is what they DO; it's the reason they exist. If security is your Number One focus, choosing anything else is just wrong.

  20. Re:Ok, one question ... on Big Brother Awards for Privacy Invaders · · Score: 1

    Like Echelon, Carnivore, and Area-51, Santa Claus DOES NOT EXIST.

    Publicly proclaiming his existence is a violation of federal law and is punishable by something weally weally baddd.

  21. Re:Who Needs Numbers. on Java 1.5.0 Now Officially Java 5.0 · · Score: 1

    A good replacement for that system would be buggy, buggier, buggiest, buggiestest....

  22. Who Needs Numbers. on Java 1.5.0 Now Officially Java 5.0 · · Score: 1

    Numbering systems are too complicated for me. Just give me one called "New" and one called "Old". If you want to get complicated you can include "older", oldest", "newer" and "newest". This is basically a rip off of Debian's Woody, Potato, Sid, etc. scheme for the rest of us. That way the tech support guy can say...

    "Do you have the Newest driver?"
    "No, it's New."
    "New New, or Old New?"
    "Newer than New."
    "Oh, okay, in that case, simply turn it off and turn it on."

    Hey, if Grandma can't roll her own Linux from a Stage 1 Gentoo floppy, she probably can't keep track of all these goshdarn newfangled confounded version numbers either.

  23. Re:The real juicy stuff isn't in the screenshots on Tiger Slideshow: Pretty Mac OS X Pictures · · Score: 1

    I'll tell you the truth (not many people here will). I'm typing this on my PowerBook right now. If I had the chance to do over, I'd buy an IBM ThinkPad, Acer (I can get one cheap, I know a dealer), Sony, Sager or Clevo. Costs the same, but you get more horsepower for your money.

    Here's my stats: 1.5Ghz PowerBook 15, 1 Gig RAM, 80Gig 5200RPM HardDrive, running Panther with all the updates and all that. Very nice, but from the zealots on here, I'd expected much better.

    The scoop: it's very nicely made, it's the most beautiful laptop I ever saw. It gets hot, but not hot enough to burn myself, but enough to be uncomfortable. The backlit keyboard is awesome, but I've never had to use it yet. The resolution is 1280 x 854 or something like that, which is much worse than my brother's Dell Inspiron (at least a year older and $2000 cheaper than my Mac). I have a handful of dead pixels, and Apple doesn't care. AppleCare is mostly useless and a waste of money. I bought an AirPort Extreme Base Station for wireless internet, that was a mistake. I can't get my wife's Windows2000 computer onto the internet, and it's just plugging directly into the back of the Base Station with an Ethernet cable. It SUCKS. A full charge of my battery gives me 2 hours, not a minute more. Java apps crash more often than on Windows, which sucks because I use one for work all the time. The fan on the left hand side sounds loose or wobbly inside my laptop.

    OS X is very nice, it is easy to use and has a great GUI, but I personally suspect that songs I've ripped using iTunes have my hardware code built into them. Why else would the RIAA allow such lenient use? There's basically NO SECURITY on their product. It's too strange not to be a conspiracy, really. I no longer trust Apple like I did before.

    If you like Linux, check out Ikaro's FVWM Page to see what I'll be running in a year or so when I get my 64-bit AMD laptop running Gentoo. FVWM is REALLY FAST and you can customize it to be exactly what you want. I view my Mac as a temporary solution. I'm off Windows, but I would rather be using Linux, but the lack of specs on the Mac (and the PITA AirPort Extreme Base Station) prevent me from running Linux on it.

    I'm not a paid shill for anyone. I'm telling you how I see it and what my experiences are. Don't believe the hype. Advertisements are not honest, and most Slashdot people are less honest.

  24. Re:To those who ask "What's WWDC?"... on Tiger Slideshow: Pretty Mac OS X Pictures · · Score: 1

    Let me tell you this, from experience. The "coveting" part of Mac OS X wears off quickly and all you are left with is being angry at its limitations. My mom and my wife like OS X more than I do, put it that way.

    I still "like" my Mac very much, but I don't "love" it. I thought I would. I was convinced I would. I took a few years off to use Windows and Linux and heard how great Apple had become again in the meantime. Was it true? Sort of. Am I happy with my Mac? Mostly. Will I buy another one? No. I've had Macs in the past, and this one will be my last. I have a really well paying job and had no problem dropping the coin on it, so money's not the issue. I've had dozens of computers in my life, and while my PB15 running OS X is the best as far as "Just Working" goes, it's still a pain in the ass. I've decided I'd rather go back to Linux on a ThinkPad. It has difficulties, yes, but it also has far less limitations. There are a LOT of little things I miss, and Fink et al. just don't cut it.

    I do LOVE Expose, but the rest of OS X is basically just a good Windows. It's boring.

    Your .sig talks about learning the truth. Well, here it is. OS X is great, but there are more people on Slashdot trying to sell you on OS X than Linux and Windows fanatics put together. Take it all with a grain of salt, because it's good, but if I had to use Windows again right now, I wouldn't miss anything but Expose. In the end, it comes down to the apps. And they're no better on OS X than Windows or Linux. In fact, most (like Mozilla) are better on Linux. The funniest thing is that cut-and-paste doesn't work in my Mozilla on OS X (the very thing everyone lambasts Linux for constantly)....

    Oh, and btw, if you DO buy a Mac (I ignored the warnings, so I'm assuming you will as well), DON'T buy an Airport Extreme Base Station if you ever want to get off Macs; the software is all Mac based, and AE Base Stations are VERY unfriendly to other OSes. Get a Linksys with a WEB-BASED INTERFACE. It works just as well, is more open, and costs less. You'll thank me later.

  25. Re:The real juicy stuff isn't in the screenshots on Tiger Slideshow: Pretty Mac OS X Pictures · · Score: 1

    Trust me, don't try it. You'll quickly find that Macs are no good at anything but OS X -- despite the lying salesmen on here who "promise" it's working fine on their systems. Most of the Linux apps are hack/ports that "kinda" work. You'll never get your wireless working. Your computer won't sleep properly. Your backlit keyboard won't work. There's a freaky modem in here, but who uses modems anyway. The list of unsupported features and hardware goes on and on, and it's worse with newer hardware. Trust me, stick with X86 if you want to run Linux. I've run Linux on X86 since Caldera's OpenLinux 1.3 (mid-90's somewhere), and I'll tell you, NOTHING Linux-wise is as badly supported as a Mac. I have NEVER had problems like this. You're marginalizing yourself TWICE because you're using a mostly ignored OS on a mostly ignored architecture. It makes everything that much more difficult -- and the difficulties of PPC aren't worth it. PPC is no speed demon, regardless of the Apple-sponsored speed tests. I was EXTREMELY disappointed by the performance of my G4 PB 1.5Ghz with 1 Gig of RAM. It CHOKES on GarageBand and other large apps, even while plugged in. I've played on the G5's fairly extensively, and while they ARE much better, they're still only comparable to fast Pentiums in actual use. That's good, but the amount of hype and worship there is out there ensures you'll be disappointed when you discover they're not much better than anything else. The ability to load massive amounts of RAM is good, but wait six months and you'll get a 64-bit PC way cheaper than a Mac will ever be, without all the bells and whistles most of us don't use anyway.

    Honestly, Mac hardware is visually beautiful. I love the fact that my PB is metal instead of plastic like my brother's Dell. There's great attention to fit and finish, but without the synergy of hardware+software, it doesn't work. As a guy who WANTS to use Linux more and proprietary software less, I wish I'd dropped the cash on a ThinkPad. Really. I've been using Macs nearly forever as well, and they're getting more unfriendly to other OSes. If you want to stay "open", stay away from Mac. I've had pathetic offers to buy my laptop, where I'd lose half my nearly 5K Cdn investment in the 2.5 months I've had it. Maybe that's the scam. Get everyone to buy a Mac then buy it from them at half price a month later.

    I've given up on running Linux on my PB and decided that when I "get an opening", ie, my wife needs a computer, she's getting my PB and I'm getting a new IBM ThinkPad that I can run Debian or Gentoo on WITHOUT HASSLE. I kick ass on Linux, but I can't write my own drivers when there's no hardware specs available. And once you have a Mac, you'll realize that Linux users are not wanted. Conformity is so strongly pushed it's retarded. You WILL be assimilated, so if you're into Linux, stay away from Macs. Really. Sad to say, but for Linux users, the grass is much greener on X86.