Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises, not
only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow workmates will
become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance:
During a meeting:
Discreetly clasp the hold of someone's hand and whisper "Can you feel it?" from
the corner of your mouth.
Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person
next to you for their approval.
When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute one biscuit to each of
the attendees then systematically smash each one with your fist in front of
them.
Wear a hand free phone headset throughout. Once in a while drift off into an
unrelated conversation, such as "I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get
the show done!"
Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to
you while indicating with your pen.
Respond to a serious question with "I don't know what to say, obviously I'm
flattered, but it's all happened so fast.
Use 'Nam style jargon' such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' and 'Charlie
don't surf!'
Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone
moves re-arrange the figures accordingly.
Shave one of your forearms.
Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the
meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit on it, cover your mouth and
gasp.
Turn your back on the meeting and sit facing the window with your legs stretched
out. Announce that 'you love this dirty old town!'
Walk directly up to a colleague and stand nose to nose with him/her for one
minute.
Mount the desk and walk along it's length before taking your seat.
Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face.
Gargle with water.
Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a
chattering mouth.
Gradually push yourself closer and closer to the door on your chair.
Hum throughout.
Pull out a large roll of bank notes and count them demonstratively.
Bend momentarily under the table then emerge wearing contact lenses that white
out your eyes.
Drop meaningless and confusing management speak into conversations such as:
'What's the margin, Marvin?'
'When's this turkey going to get basted?'
'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like
doe-eyed Labradors'
Produce a hamster from your pocket and suggest throwing it to one another as a
means of idea-exchange.
Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids.
Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda for everyone.
Then hand out pieces of paper that read:
My Secret Agenda
1. Trample the weak
2. Triumph alone
3. Invade Poland
Recollect them sheepishly and ask everyone to pretend they haven't seen them.
Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch.
Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to
interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED'.
I remember thinking to myself... If only the artists and the consumers got together to fight the evil music oppressors, we all might start getting somewhere.
A group of internet "Hackers" have discovered that the MyDoom Virus was, conceived, compiled and unleashed from a small crater, just five minutes walk from the Tyco Monolith!
It represents a new degree of viciousness in internet warfare: a wickedly ingenious programme persuades thousands of computers to bombard a single website on a particular date."
They make it sound like the first... Methinks a little more research, on their parts, may be in order.
I don't mind him trying to defeat the filters, if it comes up with a method of improving them, but the BBC should be shot for including the words that made it through
Guess which words all tomorrows SPAM will contain...
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
But, what are they going to do with the excess Carbon Monoxide/dioxide and sulfur...
Maybe they can find a way to reimpregnate it with hydrogen...? Thus creating a much safer means of transporting hydrogen about than in a pressurised liquid form, especially if it's possible to use heavier oils than petrol, or diesel, which would take even more heat/pressure to burn
The rules of the road over here in England must be different than for you guys... well, I know they are... we drive on the other side of the road, for starters
The way it should be over here (NOT the way it is, I stress) is that you should use the closest clear lane to the hard shoulder, for us the left. When you come upon slower moving traffic, you pull out to the next lane to overtake. The same goes for if you find slower traffic in that lane.
What winds me up is someone "cruising" in the center lane when both lanes around them are free of traffic. Over here you CANNOT undertake another vehicle unless your in a traffic jam; If you're caught, you get penalised (this doesn't apply to BMW drivers)
If your "cruising" in the center lane and I'm in the "slow" lane going faster than you, by the letter of the law, I must move all the way accross to the "fast" lane, overtake, and then all the way back to the slow... 4 manuvers instead of 2, just because you wanted to "cruise"
I know you are aloud to undertake in the US (scary when you're not used to it) so middle lane hogs may not get on your tits as much as they do over on this side of the pond.
I seem to recall that TNG took a seasons break at the end of season 4. When they started producing again, they came back with some of the finest episodes of Star Trek (all series) that they have ever made.
What winds me up now is seeing the same stories repeated again and again with only a slight twist to make it work for whichever series they were writing for... One of the reasons I stopped watching Voyager was just that.
You don't drive a BMW do you...? I'm sure there is an ammendmant to the highway code specifically aimed at drivers of BMW, and other German manufactured cars, specifically allowing them to chuck the book out the window (preferably at 90Mph+) and issuing them with full ownership of whichever road they happen to be driving along...
You'll come a cropper, one day, pulling stunts like that... I pitty the poor sod that you take out with you.
BTW. The whole scenario was a joke... middle lane hogs wind me up too.
Slashdot Mirror
Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises, not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow workmates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance:
During a meeting:
Discreetly clasp the hold of someone's hand and whisper "Can you feel it?" from the corner of your mouth.
Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval.
When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute one biscuit to each of the attendees then systematically smash each one with your fist in front of them.
Wear a hand free phone headset throughout. Once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as "I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!"
Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen.
Respond to a serious question with "I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast.
Use 'Nam style jargon' such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' and 'Charlie don't surf!'
Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly.
Shave one of your forearms.
Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit on it, cover your mouth and gasp.
Turn your back on the meeting and sit facing the window with your legs stretched out. Announce that 'you love this dirty old town!'
Walk directly up to a colleague and stand nose to nose with him/her for one minute.
Mount the desk and walk along it's length before taking your seat.
Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face.
Gargle with water.
Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth.
Gradually push yourself closer and closer to the door on your chair.
Hum throughout.
Pull out a large roll of bank notes and count them demonstratively.
Bend momentarily under the table then emerge wearing contact lenses that white out your eyes.
Drop meaningless and confusing management speak into conversations such as:
'What's the margin, Marvin?'
'When's this turkey going to get basted?'
'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed Labradors'
Produce a hamster from your pocket and suggest throwing it to one another as a means of idea-exchange.
Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids.
Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda for everyone. Then hand out pieces of paper that read:
My Secret Agenda
1. Trample the weak
2. Triumph alone
3. Invade Poland
Recollect them sheepishly and ask everyone to pretend they haven't seen them.
Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch.
Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED'.
It wouldn't work nowadays, because, you can just pay the check in at an ATM machine
The whole scam relies on you having to hand the check over to a blushing cashier.
Nissan don't have them fitted to cars yet
Your thinking of a Volkswagon Golf
:-)
I didn't think McDonalds paid that much... :-)
I remember thinking to myself... If only the artists and the consumers got together to fight the evil music oppressors, we all might start getting somewhere.
This looks like a very good start
MYDOOM found on MOON
A group of internet "Hackers" have discovered that the MyDoom Virus was, conceived, compiled and unleashed from a small crater, just five minutes walk from the Tyco Monolith!
Well, it's just as believable...
It represents a new degree of viciousness in internet warfare: a wickedly ingenious programme persuades thousands of computers to bombard a single website on a particular date."
They make it sound like the first... Methinks a little more research, on their parts, may be in order.
no comment...
I don't mind him trying to defeat the filters, if it comes up with a method of improving them, but the BBC should be shot for including the words that made it through
Guess which words all tomorrows SPAM will contain...
Only your mind...?
But I have the telephone number of a SCO lawyer!!!!!
I wonder if the world is ready for my patent, yet. Placing one foot in front of the other repetitively and thus providing a means of forward motion
This time next year I could be a millionaire
"My friend who ran for political office in 2000 used this exact naming scheme for his web site"
You're friend owns name@subdomain.domain.? That's SO cool
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
"The last thing you want to do in a combat zone is be in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Unless you're wearing your (C)Adaptive Camouflage combats, which are also made of this stuff
cool... A free Xbox for everyone in Europe
The metric system was the invention of the French. I'd quite happily revert back to the good old imperial system, if I had the choice
Fortunately, I was at school when Metric was introduced, so, I can convert between the two without using many brain cycles
Now that's what I CALL an antenna... I wonder how big the pringles are that come in one of those babys
:-)
Surely the grease content of the paste would protect the actual metal content from the surrounding air, and thus preventing any oxidisation
Just a thought
But, what are they going to do with the excess Carbon Monoxide/dioxide and sulfur...
Maybe they can find a way to reimpregnate it with hydrogen...? Thus creating a much safer means of transporting hydrogen about than in a pressurised liquid form, especially if it's possible to use heavier oils than petrol, or diesel, which would take even more heat/pressure to burn
Or would that make the world too perfect. :-)
Even MORE ironic than that will be when Spirit starts finding rocks from Earth
The rules of the road over here in England must be different than for you guys... well, I know they are... we drive on the other side of the road, for starters
The way it should be over here (NOT the way it is, I stress) is that you should use the closest clear lane to the hard shoulder, for us the left. When you come upon slower moving traffic, you pull out to the next lane to overtake. The same goes for if you find slower traffic in that lane.
What winds me up is someone "cruising" in the center lane when both lanes around them are free of traffic. Over here you CANNOT undertake another vehicle unless your in a traffic jam; If you're caught, you get penalised (this doesn't apply to BMW drivers)
If your "cruising" in the center lane and I'm in the "slow" lane going faster than you, by the letter of the law, I must move all the way accross to the "fast" lane, overtake, and then all the way back to the slow... 4 manuvers instead of 2, just because you wanted to "cruise"
I know you are aloud to undertake in the US (scary when you're not used to it) so middle lane hogs may not get on your tits as much as they do over on this side of the pond.
A fair point.
I seem to recall that TNG took a seasons break at the end of season 4. When they started producing again, they came back with some of the finest episodes of Star Trek (all series) that they have ever made.
What winds me up now is seeing the same stories repeated again and again with only a slight twist to make it work for whichever series they were writing for... One of the reasons I stopped watching Voyager was just that.
Yes and no... For you the left is the passing lane because you drive on the right, but over here in the UK it's the right because were on the left.
But I never said that I wasn't overtaking...
You don't drive a BMW do you...? I'm sure there is an ammendmant to the highway code specifically aimed at drivers of BMW, and other German manufactured cars, specifically allowing them to chuck the book out the window (preferably at 90Mph+) and issuing them with full ownership of whichever road they happen to be driving along...
You'll come a cropper, one day, pulling stunts like that... I pitty the poor sod that you take out with you.
BTW. The whole scenario was a joke... middle lane hogs wind me up too.