Back in the early 80's, we'd rotary dial into the university computer, slap the phone down into the modem and play Wombat. What a breakthrough in adolescent education.
I don't remember doing anything else in school besides sneaking away to play Wombat and combing around the university computer system finding out all sorts of tricks, new games, etc. It was great - it was unregulated - it was unprotected - it was all wide open. Truly an open system that hadn't been comprimised by those with malicious intent or those trying to sell you crap that you didn't need.
Then, in high school, I was expected to be able to find a date for the Prom? Forget it. I'd rather play with computers.
Going on this, getting my parents to invest in computers (Mircosoft) and majoring in CS and Engineering, my parents and I are now sitting on a heap of cash.
Lesson leared? Yes. Design truly open systems. Harden them down to prevent malicious usage. Get rid of all the other BS involved. Above all, find something that you love to do and pursue it and don't let anyone get in your way. Computers did that for me. Hopefully they'll help someone else out in the same way if those in charge get their act together and make good use out of what computers have to offer.
I have a drinking problem: Two hands and one mouth.
How long did it take for guys to realize that you can't impress a girl on a first date with a couple of warm wine coolers and a guitar ballad played on a plastic guitar with colored buttons?
Get real. Go buy yourself a real acoustic 6-string, take 5-10 years to learn to play and (hopefully you started practicing when you were 5) soon you will be able to reel a lady into your bedroom that doesn't look and seem similar to a plastic love doll or your parole officer.
Come on, how many campfires have you been around lately where someone pulls out a fake guitar and sings air-band songs? No thanks. Get some real skills - anyone who excels at Guitar Hero deserves to be beaten like a red-headed step-child at a family picnic who wines, has cleft palate and a nasty case of tourette syndrome.
Step 1: Open VPN window/session to work and login.
Step 2: Minimize VPN window to return to your PC, open a browser to a good porn site
Step 3: Return to VPN window to check work e-mail
Step 4: Reward yourself by returning to your PC and reward yourself with a few
pictures/short movie clips
Step 5: Return to VPN window to perform a task (look into a foreign key constraint, etc.)
Step 6: Repeat Step 4
Step 7: Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until your girlfriend/wife returns home.
Step 8: Fun times
Step 9: Return to VPN window, do 2 hours of good work and logoff for the day and go fire
up the grill and turn on the Cubs game with a couple of ice cold Budweisers in tow.
Cubs win! Cubs win!
It's a simple question - Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?
Hold on now...now, without ruffling any religious feathers, how do you know that we weren't created as a result of some alien spacecraft emitting some propellant or other chemicals into a pile of protein soup (with or without their knowledge)?
Look what they've been missing! We're a bunch of fat, lazy, over-rewarded hypocrites that are too lazy to go out to eat and instead elect to have it delivered to us for every meal.
That and we wrap everything in bacon. Hmmm, bacon. Sorry Jim Gaffigan, I'm taking your glory.
Let's shoot bacon-wrapped Hot Pockets into outerspace.
Ok, I'm from Wisconsin. It's miserable here for 4 months during Winter.
However, there are liquor stores and small neighborhood bars everywhere. When you're drunk, you don't notice that it's 20 below zero outside nor do you remember you decision to walk home to save gas.
By the time your hangove clears up, it's April and the tulips are busting through the ground.
Hey, if we can detect with about 2% assurance that Iraq has WMD's from space and start a war that costs trillions and kills many thousands, what excuse would the government need to explain why they killed a stadium of fans whom they detected, with their new whiz-bang device, that about 65% of them lied about something at work last week and about the number of beers they told their buddy that they've drank since the start of the 2nd quarter?
Holy run-on sentence Batman!
Hey, if you want to detect malfeasance of any kind with 100% accuracy, you need my wife. I can't get away with anything!
I was working a miserable dead-end job. Then, all of the sudden, my job was eliminated. I lost my apartment. I lost my truck. My wife was leaving me.
Then, I placed one tiny ad in a local newspaper and the money just started pouring in. I don't even remember what the ad was for, but I within 5 days, I received this check for $45,563.23!
So, I then decided to use that money to place the same ad in 2,000 newspapers nationwide. Then, amazingly, 5 days later, I received the first of 27 weekly checks for over $400,000!!
How did I do this? Please visit my website http://www.you_are_high_and_hopeful_at_3am_on_a_weekday_hoping_for_a_freaking_miracle.com/ hand over what little money you can find in your couch cushions and I'll send you an upbeat DVD that rivals anything that exercise guru Tony Little, motivational speaker/blow-hard Anthony Robbins or even the late great fictional motivational speaker Mr. Matt Foley who has been downstairs drinking coffee for the last 4 hours.
Well, the Spinal Tap judges decided that there would be a better score than a perfect 10 - a score that would demonstrate even more technical precision and execution; that score is 11.
Why not just call it a perfect 10? Because this score goes to 11.
But to the point of the new scoring mechanism, why not just take the highest possible score and apply a scoring factor that results in a score of 10? All other scores would then be calculated using the new formula multiplied by this scoring factor.
Boy, that would take too much effort and probably $1-$2 million to pay a management consulting firm to perform an audit to ensure that the scoring factor wouldn't result in errant scores. Forget it.
Timing is everything - now this is all we have to do. Let's identify potential asteroids while their still in the asteroid belt.
Then, to deflect them, all we'll need is a plastic straw that will fire a few spit-wads. Sure, mv^2 might end up being too small to detect when firing across a high school classroom when impacting a fellow student's shirt, but it will deflect the asteroid around 2-3 picometers which will result in the asteroid widely missing Earth.
Of course, it may instead hit Mars...right around the time the Mars landers find proof of life on Mars and that this whole time they were deflecting the same asteroid away from them to preserve their elaborate subterranean ecosystem. What are the inter-planetary liabilities involved with this?
I'll continue later after I am the first to enroll and achieve my degree specializing in inter-planetary law.
My guess is if there's other intelligent life, they are just like us, are more technologically advanced than we are and live in the equivalent of our 1690's because they like it.
Also, since they have time travel capabilities, they would have seen our Austin Powers movies and, when it comes time for the Revolutionary War, they'll skip it so they don't give Americans just a gaping opportunity to poke fun at British people.
But Marty, this is 2008 - we don't have the ability to harness an instantaneous charge of 1.21 Gigawatts!
I'll call the Libyan Nationalists to see if they've developed something that can do this. Better yet, maybe Biff knows but he's still back in the old West.
When all is said and done, at least I have my Calvin Klein underwear to fall back on - better yet, it holds my balls and prevents them from "lightening".
The evidence from the digital attack last year is as follows:
"The A-176 tank scope operator was panning to the North to acquire the target in question when a pop-up add appeared in the view finder alerting him of a fantastic deal on Viagra. Later alerts included free porn and offers to download virus scanning software"...
Wasn't the personal computer going to create the paperless office environment?
Yeah, right. For every 1 technically-savvy business resource (if they exist somewhere since they don't where I am employed), there are many other business resources who still insist on triple-clicking page links and think that the Internet is driving their cars. With this fact in mind, all of the other will want IT to build and deliver so-called Web 2.0 applications for them so that they can be confused even more.
Like others have commented, keep up on things and your IT position will never be outsourced or replaced. Everyone likes a smart person who can adapt, learn and communicate. No one likes a nimble, rigid idiot. Watch out or I'll fire you myself.
See you at the bar,
JR.
1. Backup your current Linux OS 2. Re-install Windows Vista 3. Return to PC World with your computer 4. Pick up fixed computer 5. Remove Windows Vista and re-install Linux 6. Surf for porn
Taking the Barry Bonds defense, how many of these users who downloaded songs via a P2P application "knowingly" were downloading songs illegally?
Apparently the Feds can't even beat that one.
Now, you IPI accountants, figure that into your numbers and no sales were lost. The IPI, MPAA and all Virgin Records, Tower Records and Record Town stores are probably more interested in catching my friend from 15 years ago who could walk in and out of a music store in 10 minutes with 50 CDs in his jacket.
Well, if it runs on the same fuel as the Space Shuttle, maybe we could expect to go from 0 - 22,350 km/h in about 9 minutes after putting the gas (oops, "fuel") pedal to the floor.
This brings about an interesting issue - think about the wear and tear on your brakes at that speed. Also, can standard, modern-era vulcanized composite air-bladder tires perform at such high rotational speeds? How do the gyroscopic or precessive forces come into play on a turn? Are car axles strong enough to endure forces of this magnitude? How would someone see a street light 22 miles ahead and know that they had to put on the brakes or give the car more juice to beat a yellow light?
People, you have to look at the entire picture to get the idea that this is just a bad idea.
Sgt. Pornstars' lonely hearts club band, we hope your countersuit goes well...
Maybe that was the version of The Beatles classic that he downloaded that can be seen in the newly provided folder. However, I did recognize all of the porn from the previous folder.
I'd expect the Slashdot demographic to earn enough money to purchase both types of TV sets and rate them for themselves...
In any event, if you cannot decide and you've already spent 10 hours in front of a computer monitor for work, get outside and ride your bike instead of watching TV, that is unless your bike came factory-direct with a TV on it already. In that case, get out and bike to the store and pick up a box of doughnuts and some canned cheese spread without missing a second of your ultra-important show.
Slashdot Mirror
No, you're a jack-ass because you're stating that you have enough money to purchase penthouse real estate in Manhattan!
Back in the early 80's, we'd rotary dial into the university computer, slap the phone down into the modem and play Wombat. What a breakthrough in adolescent education.
I don't remember doing anything else in school besides sneaking away to play Wombat and combing around the university computer system finding out all sorts of tricks, new games, etc. It was great - it was unregulated - it was unprotected - it was all wide open. Truly an open system that hadn't been comprimised by those with malicious intent or those trying to sell you crap that you didn't need.
Then, in high school, I was expected to be able to find a date for the Prom? Forget it. I'd rather play with computers.
Going on this, getting my parents to invest in computers (Mircosoft) and majoring in CS and Engineering, my parents and I are now sitting on a heap of cash.
Lesson leared? Yes. Design truly open systems. Harden them down to prevent malicious usage. Get rid of all the other BS involved. Above all, find something that you love to do and pursue it and don't let anyone get in your way. Computers did that for me. Hopefully they'll help someone else out in the same way if those in charge get their act together and make good use out of what computers have to offer.
I have a drinking problem: Two hands and one mouth.
Put all of your application workspaces in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
But, if in doubt, add laser beams.
Wait, how will this affect me tonight when I roll a big fatty and watch TV?
How long did it take for guys to realize that you can't impress a girl on a first date with a couple of warm wine coolers and a guitar ballad played on a plastic guitar with colored buttons?
Get real. Go buy yourself a real acoustic 6-string, take 5-10 years to learn to play and (hopefully you started practicing when you were 5) soon you will be able to reel a lady into your bedroom that doesn't look and seem similar to a plastic love doll or your parole officer.
Come on, how many campfires have you been around lately where someone pulls out a fake guitar and sings air-band songs? No thanks. Get some real skills - anyone who excels at Guitar Hero deserves to be beaten like a red-headed step-child at a family picnic who wines, has cleft palate and a nasty case of tourette syndrome.
Step 1: Open VPN window/session to work and login.
Step 2: Minimize VPN window to return to your PC, open a browser to a good porn site
Step 3: Return to VPN window to check work e-mail
Step 4: Reward yourself by returning to your PC and reward yourself with a few pictures/short movie clips
Step 5: Return to VPN window to perform a task (look into a foreign key constraint, etc.)
Step 6: Repeat Step 4
Step 7: Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until your girlfriend/wife returns home.
Step 8: Fun times
Step 9: Return to VPN window, do 2 hours of good work and logoff for the day and go fire up the grill and turn on the Cubs game with a couple of ice cold Budweisers in tow.
Cubs win! Cubs win!
It's a simple question - Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?
Hold on now...now, without ruffling any religious feathers, how do you know that we weren't created as a result of some alien spacecraft emitting some propellant or other chemicals into a pile of protein soup (with or without their knowledge)?
Look what they've been missing! We're a bunch of fat, lazy, over-rewarded hypocrites that are too lazy to go out to eat and instead elect to have it delivered to us for every meal.
That and we wrap everything in bacon. Hmmm, bacon. Sorry Jim Gaffigan, I'm taking your glory.
Let's shoot bacon-wrapped Hot Pockets into outerspace.
Ok, I'm from Wisconsin. It's miserable here for 4 months during Winter.
However, there are liquor stores and small neighborhood bars everywhere. When you're drunk, you don't notice that it's 20 below zero outside nor do you remember you decision to walk home to save gas.
By the time your hangove clears up, it's April and the tulips are busting through the ground.
So, you see, we are happy here!
Hey, if we can detect with about 2% assurance that Iraq has WMD's from space and start a war that costs trillions and kills many thousands, what excuse would the government need to explain why they killed a stadium of fans whom they detected, with their new whiz-bang device, that about 65% of them lied about something at work last week and about the number of beers they told their buddy that they've drank since the start of the 2nd quarter?
Holy run-on sentence Batman!
Hey, if you want to detect malfeasance of any kind with 100% accuracy, you need my wife. I can't get away with anything!
Hi, I'm Don LaPre.
I was working a miserable dead-end job. Then, all of the sudden, my job was eliminated. I lost my apartment. I lost my truck. My wife was leaving me.
Then, I placed one tiny ad in a local newspaper and the money just started pouring in. I don't even remember what the ad was for, but I within 5 days, I received this check for $45,563.23!
So, I then decided to use that money to place the same ad in 2,000 newspapers nationwide. Then, amazingly, 5 days later, I received the first of 27 weekly checks for over $400,000!!
How did I do this? Please visit my website http://www.you_are_high_and_hopeful_at_3am_on_a_weekday_hoping_for_a_freaking_miracle.com/ hand over what little money you can find in your couch cushions and I'll send you an upbeat DVD that rivals anything that exercise guru Tony Little, motivational speaker/blow-hard Anthony Robbins or even the late great fictional motivational speaker Mr. Matt Foley who has been downstairs drinking coffee for the last 4 hours.
Good luck!
Don.
Well, the Spinal Tap judges decided that there would be a better score than a perfect 10 - a score that would demonstrate even more technical precision and execution; that score is 11.
Why not just call it a perfect 10? Because this score goes to 11.
But to the point of the new scoring mechanism, why not just take the highest possible score and apply a scoring factor that results in a score of 10? All other scores would then be calculated using the new formula multiplied by this scoring factor.
Boy, that would take too much effort and probably $1-$2 million to pay a management consulting firm to perform an audit to ensure that the scoring factor wouldn't result in errant scores. Forget it.
-- When life gives you lemons, drink beer.
Timing is everything - now this is all we have to do. Let's identify potential asteroids while their still in the asteroid belt.
Then, to deflect them, all we'll need is a plastic straw that will fire a few spit-wads. Sure, mv^2 might end up being too small to detect when firing across a high school classroom when impacting a fellow student's shirt, but it will deflect the asteroid around 2-3 picometers which will result in the asteroid widely missing Earth.
Of course, it may instead hit Mars...right around the time the Mars landers find proof of life on Mars and that this whole time they were deflecting the same asteroid away from them to preserve their elaborate subterranean ecosystem. What are the inter-planetary liabilities involved with this?
I'll continue later after I am the first to enroll and achieve my degree specializing in inter-planetary law.
My guess is if there's other intelligent life, they are just like us, are more technologically advanced than we are and live in the equivalent of our 1690's because they like it.
Also, since they have time travel capabilities, they would have seen our Austin Powers movies and, when it comes time for the Revolutionary War, they'll skip it so they don't give Americans just a gaping opportunity to poke fun at British people.
But Marty, this is 2008 - we don't have the ability to harness an instantaneous charge of 1.21 Gigawatts!
I'll call the Libyan Nationalists to see if they've developed something that can do this. Better yet, maybe Biff knows but he's still back in the old West.
When all is said and done, at least I have my Calvin Klein underwear to fall back on - better yet, it holds my balls and prevents them from "lightening".
The evidence from the digital attack last year is as follows:
"The A-176 tank scope operator was panning to the North to acquire the target in question when a pop-up add appeared in the view finder alerting him of a fantastic deal on Viagra. Later alerts included free porn and offers to download virus scanning software"...
Wasn't the personal computer going to create the paperless office environment? Yeah, right. For every 1 technically-savvy business resource (if they exist somewhere since they don't where I am employed), there are many other business resources who still insist on triple-clicking page links and think that the Internet is driving their cars. With this fact in mind, all of the other will want IT to build and deliver so-called Web 2.0 applications for them so that they can be confused even more. Like others have commented, keep up on things and your IT position will never be outsourced or replaced. Everyone likes a smart person who can adapt, learn and communicate. No one likes a nimble, rigid idiot. Watch out or I'll fire you myself. See you at the bar, JR.
Oh no! Will this affect my RIAA-imposed fine for downloading music?
1. Backup your current Linux OS
2. Re-install Windows Vista
3. Return to PC World with your computer
4. Pick up fixed computer
5. Remove Windows Vista and re-install Linux
6. Surf for porn
Taking the Barry Bonds defense, how many of these users who downloaded songs via a P2P application "knowingly" were downloading songs illegally? Apparently the Feds can't even beat that one. Now, you IPI accountants, figure that into your numbers and no sales were lost. The IPI, MPAA and all Virgin Records, Tower Records and Record Town stores are probably more interested in catching my friend from 15 years ago who could walk in and out of a music store in 10 minutes with 50 CDs in his jacket.
If you look even closer, you can see that someone stole Mr. Big Heads' Mojo.
Pray for Mojo...er, I'm sure there wasn't much.
Well, if it runs on the same fuel as the Space Shuttle, maybe we could expect to go from 0 - 22,350 km/h in about 9 minutes after putting the gas (oops, "fuel") pedal to the floor.
This brings about an interesting issue - think about the wear and tear on your brakes at that speed. Also, can standard, modern-era vulcanized composite air-bladder tires perform at such high rotational speeds? How do the gyroscopic or precessive forces come into play on a turn? Are car axles strong enough to endure forces of this magnitude? How would someone see a street light 22 miles ahead and know that they had to put on the brakes or give the car more juice to beat a yellow light?
People, you have to look at the entire picture to get the idea that this is just a bad idea.
Sgt. Pornstars' lonely hearts club band, we hope your countersuit goes well...
Maybe that was the version of The Beatles classic that he downloaded that can be seen in the newly provided folder. However, I did recognize all of the porn from the previous folder.
My Dad was a genius! He always left the faucets on after leaving the bathroom and my Mom would always yell at him.
Now I can recognize my Dad as a thought leader in the area of sewage handling and household hygiene.
Good going Dad!
I'd expect the Slashdot demographic to earn enough money to purchase both types of TV sets and rate them for themselves... In any event, if you cannot decide and you've already spent 10 hours in front of a computer monitor for work, get outside and ride your bike instead of watching TV, that is unless your bike came factory-direct with a TV on it already. In that case, get out and bike to the store and pick up a box of doughnuts and some canned cheese spread without missing a second of your ultra-important show.
Did you also know that Time has released their "Sexiest Person of 2006" issue?
And what do you know?!??! We all won again!
Take that 8th grade chick who declined my invitation to the Snowflake Festival!!