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  1. Re:Officially Freaked Out on How the NSA Identified Satoshi Nakamoto (medium.com) · · Score: 1

    I wonder if you could (A), (B), and then (C)

    That should anonymise you a little.

    Except to Google, and hey: what do they know?

  2. Re:Hopkinsville, KY on Ask Slashdot: How Did You Experience The Solar Eclipse? · · Score: 1

    Funny. We were in Madisonville, 35 minutes from Hopkinsville off the center-line and had 2 minutes of totality. (Had my phone saying "STOP STOP STOP" right at the end. Never thought I'd actually "look at the sun" with binoculars!) and left at 3. I saw I-69 jammed for miles too. I figured roughly 20 feet per car, 5250 feet in a mile, 2 lanes, 2 occupants per car, so that's a K. We passed at least 15 miles so that's maybe 15K people stuck in traffic. I waved at them all as I drove past in the other direction.

    It took us 6 hours to go 300 miles, same as it took to get there. In my case the heaviest traffic was construction in Memphis at 9PM, which Android's Sauron Maps warned me and guided around.

    We had guys shooting some BOMBS after the fact. Not a gun, as we had a few of those too, I don't know what it was, any closer and I'd have run for cover. Luckily it was afterwards. Maybe they were trying to scare away the dragon eating the Sun?

  3. Provide LINKS for all of us or it didn't happen. on A User Archived Nearly 2 Million Gigabytes of Porn to Test Amazon's 'Unlimited' Cloud Storage (vice.com) · · Score: 1

    It _used_ to be pics, but they're so easy to fake.

    And HEY I'm being altruistic here -- I could have said "Just for me." You're welcome.

    (Now if it's all slightly modified versions of goatse.cx and tubgirl I'm going to be REALLY upset. 1.7TB of THAT??? And you thought looking at the eclipse w/o glasses was blinding.)

  4. Re:These are not the terms I agreed to! on Sonos Says Users Must Accept New Privacy Policy Or Devices May Cease To Function (zdnet.com) · · Score: 1

    THIS. I was just about to submit it but figured someone else already had. Linkie

    Why is this all so hard to understand?
    Old stuff vs new stuff. You bought a rock. You can do anything with it at any time. If you got a warranty you can have the company fix it, if still unaltered. If you break it, you get smaller rocks and break the warranty as well. If you give it away it's now the new person's problem. If it breaks out of warranty you now have a nice boat anchor. The End.

    The New And Improved Internet Connected Rock. You just bought a rock.
    Thank you for activating your account via GPS, internet, and audible and optical recognition. No, you actually just bought a usage license with localized implementation hardware.

    You can do anything with it at any time.
    As long as the company's computers allow you to. If they deny or are somehow unavailable, that requested function will be disabled until connectivity is fully restored and your account balance brought up to date. Current fees will be made available to you on your monthly credit card statement.

    If you got a warranty you can have the company fix it, if still unaltered.
    If you local implementation hardware is malfunctioning, you can call a helpful not-your-language speaking tech who will happily ignore you comments while reading from a partially prepared script. If it is found that your local device actually IS malfunctioning, you can ship it back to the vendor who will gleefully return to you a refurbished unit. Eventually. While you are waiting, for your convenience you can purchase a brand new still-in-warranty unit from any available store!

    If you break it, you get smaller rocks and break the warranty as well.
    If you accidentally break the "No User Serviceable Parts Inside" label the Company's Physical User Interface Employees will be automatically called to investigate the matter. if it turned out you broke the label or disassembled the unit on purpose, the aforementioned Physical User Interface Employees will reclaim the physically damaged unit and happily physically service you with a smile. If not, please call our customer support hot-line for additional attention.

    If you give it away it's now the new person's problem.
    The unit's permanent memory will record every command ever issued. if provided with a microphone or camera it will notice and record everything in proximity. Loaning it to a new owner does NOT absolve you of any past or future offenses. Better make sure the new owner is a good friend! Also, this unit is completely impervious to hacking -- everything is completely under control.

    If it breaks out of warranty you now have a nice boat anchor.
    If it breaks the company's servers will soon notice the missing requests and automatically issue a new one. Your credit card number is already on file; you will also be provided with the current legal contracts and your obligations that we might change at any time, even while you're reading the current set. The old unit will still make a great gift!

    The End.
    YOU WISH.

  5. Re: They did explain where he was wrong on Google Fires Author of Divisive Memo On Gender Differences (bloomberg.com) · · Score: 1

    Seems like everyone takes offence to a word they didn't understand the meaning of ...

    Oh, they know all right .... they know EXACTLY what was meant, you highfalutin' fancy-pants egghead.

    They know exactly what's going on here, don't confuse 'em with facts because they already know all of the important facts. See? Google's getting rid of Teh Evil, just as they originally said.

    I'll just leave this here: Niggardly

  6. Witch! Witch! Wolf! Wolf! on Congress Asks US Agencies For Kaspersky Lab Cyber Documents (reuters.com) · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Maybe I'm naive, but I would suspect Mr Kaspersky tries to run an honest company. That being said, of course he's going to help somewhat if his government asks him to (An Offer You Can't Refuse, or You Only Do Once) -- just like AT&T and any company, I mean person over here.

    NEVER MIND any moles or other unofficial "helpers" that might already exist in any company.

    So they're being accused of all of this. At what point does he say "Screw it, I'm accused and already prosecuted of this, so let's DO it then. What, you're going to fine me or something?"

  7. Re:Gattaca predicted the outcome in 1997 on First Human Embryos Edited In US (technologyreview.com) · · Score: 1

    but those who choose wisely tend to end up ahead of the curve and humanity advances

    So you're saying the wise normal humans will be running in front of the horde of 3 headed zombies, all chanting "brains, Brains, BRAINS"?

    It's just another tool, neither good or bad. It's how it's used by it's wielder is what actually counts. Hopefully they experiment on themselves first.

  8. Degenerative Brain Disease Found... on Degenerative Brain Disease Found In Nearly All Donated NFL Player Brains, Says Study (npr.org) · · Score: 1
    Back in High School in the mid-70's, we (the High School bandies) had a saying ... "Duhhh Coach, tie my shoe."

    Of course we had a derogatory saying about drummers as well. My point is: did they check the brains before as well as after? It could just be that damaged brains like football.

    it only includes individuals who are exposed to head trauma by participation in football.

    Ahhh, so they're trying to link one to the other. Just because you've got it now and are literally in a head-banging sport, it would make sense, but are you absolutely sure they weren't damaged originally? My point still stands.

    Besides, they're risking life and limb for their glory and our entertainment, just like hockey, car racing, and just about any other sport. Are you really trying to take their livelihood away from them?

  9. Re: copyright is a crime against humanity on SoundCloud Halts Volunteer Archiving Project (vice.com) · · Score: 1

    you and your progeny should not be able to extract a toll from society in perpetuity for using the idea.

    What a great idea! I think i'll copyright it --- in perpetuity. So my 35th future grandson will still be profiting from this. Super!

    Now all I need is a wife.

  10. Why is Comcast Using Self-driving Cars ... on Why is Comcast Using Self-driving Cars To Justify Abolishing Net Neutrality? (theverge.com) · · Score: 2

    Why is Comcast Using Self-driving Cars To Justify Abolishing Net Neutrality?

    Because they CAN. Besides, it's a car analogy, and everyone understands car analogies. Only nerds use those weird computery things, unlike phones.

  11. It's hard to get a new face. on Is Homeland Security's Face-Scanning At Airports An Unreasonable Search? (technologyreview.com) · · Score: 1

    Yoda, I am. First your face take off, you.

  12. I'm looking forward to the time when we can start eradicating some of these pests from the world, such as the Anopheles mosquito in the US (which is not native), mongooses in Hawaii, or cane toads in Australia.

    I hear there's a VERY BAD outbreak of politicians in Washington DC. Maybe this can be used there?

    Of course you'd also have to hit their breeding grounds -- all 50 states. But hopefully this politician gene can be wiped out in our lifetime!

  13. Re:Obvious response of technology firms on Australia To Compel Technology Firms To Provide Access To Encrypted Missives (reuters.com) · · Score: 1

    But... it's not *that* much harder to build a system in which no one but the parties communicating have the keys.

    Of course, the obvious response of legislators is then to mandate government-accessible backdoors.

    Jesus Christ. Backdoors, smackdoors. Simply have the NSA produce their own public key and force all message suppliers to keep on doing whatever they're doing AND ALSO encrypt the original message with the NSA key while appending it to the coded message. That way "ONLY" the NSA or proxy can decode the 2nd message while leaving the application-normal routines in place.

    Of course it'll be illegal to remove the alternate key and most people won't know how to do that to start with. Thus
    (A) you can read any normal messages (especially the ones from stupid terrorists), and
    (B) people sending messages you CAN'T read are the people you're really interested in.
    (C) People with differing encoded message sizes (user vs NSA) are also interesting.

    Oh, overseas from the US? The 5, 6, or 20 eyes can coordinate application enforcement, and other governments should be willing to jump at the chance.

    Then we can start wars over key access, not message access.

  14. Re:What I would like to know: on State Prison Officials Blame An Escape On Drones And Cellphones (usatoday.com) · · Score: 1

    If you're flying a drone outside a jail with wirecutters strapped to them- it would make it legal for police to arrest you.

    Sorry, officer -- what do you mean? That's not MY drone still hovering over the yard. The other one, I mean MY drone is still sitting right here. I was just playing with the flight controls before launch. I don't know who that one belongs to. Oh, gee, I forgot to bring my battery -- I'll be right back.

  15. Ailments like paranoia, because you feel someone is watching you?

    Between Google, the NSA, and your nosy next door neighbor, there IS someone watching you, probably right now. And heck, staying home with the windows closed doesn't do any good either.

    "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."

    But the good news is that Amazon Dash Button is now linked with your pharmacy* so sedatives are now just a physical click away. Delivered by drones. In an hour. Straight to your cell phones' location.

    * That means Amazon also bought your pharmacy when they gobbled up Whole Paycheck^W Foods. Forget that old original grumpy, nosy, and smelly pharmacist; stop by and chat with our new friendly virtual personality -- now with a face! Or even better, just talk to yourself; Alexa's always listening anyway.
    -----

    No, I'm not at all paranoid. Why are you looking at me like that??

  16. Re:This is why radios need HW on/off switches on WikiLeaks Dump Reveals CIA Malware For Tracking Windows Devices Via WiFi Networks (bleepingcomputer.com) · · Score: 1

    This is why radios and, for that matter, sensors, need hardware on/off switches.

    I have a stereo with an OFF switch. It works great. It also has an OFF light. It works great, too. When the unit it OFF the light is ON, and vise versa -- damnedest thing I've ever seen. (Dumbest, too.)

    I also miss actual Write Protect switches on USB media. Originally they had them, now at best it's a software mode. ("I promise I won't write anything else -- REALLY! Let me just write that down so I don't forget about it. OK, Done." Now let's re-enable writing. "But you told me not to earlier and that's still set. Oh well, updating that's no problem whatsoever, just like the rest of your read-only data.")

    Just like the missing Berg jumpers that used to be on the motherboards to set options. If I want to upgrade/modify the BIOS, make it slightly hard and not let me reprogram the EEPROMs on the fly. Either the ROM went bad (unlikely) or something tried to update one of my computers a year ago. Botched the job horribly (luckily!) and I was able to recover from a non-POSTing system and reset the BIOS.

    If I'd wanted full access to everything all of the time I'd just log in as root and stay there.

  17. Suing Apple for iPods that deaf people can't use?

    Ha!! I read that as: "Suing Apple for iPods that dead people can't use?"

    I was wondering if that was yet another microagression- thing now or some other offensive offense.

    Random Link

  18. It's called "creep" for a reason.

    And here I thought it was named that way for the person doing all of the camera watching.

    But that was in the good old days when people manned the monitors, not now when you point a cam at a monitor and let the computer do the watching for you.

  19. It should have been here the US, on July 4th.

    Of course at the time they didn't realize it was going to be the explosive hit that it eventually turned out to be ....

    Maybe South Korea could redirect the shipment northbound instead? Just tell the North that it's both a phone AND an exploding cigarette! I'm sure they'll get the joke.

  20. Re:I thought.. on Home Improvement Chains Accused of False Advertising Over Lumber Dimensions (consumerist.com) · · Score: 4, Interesting

    These dimensions have been industry standards for 60 years or more ... If you are actually expecting a 2x4 to be 2" x 4", then that tells us, right off, you have no idea what you're doing.

    I'm remodeling a house right now (today, not this very second.) It has 2x4s. TWO by FOURS. It has support beams placed every 4 feet. (Not 3.5', and not 8'.) It was built in 1895, so there's the other side of the redefinition bracket.

    A few helpers have remarked, "This is an actual 2x4. Wow, you don't see that every day -- how about that!"

    The timber industry (or home repair? Who??) decades ago redefined the size. They shouldn't have but they did, and nobody cared to call them on it. Too late now.

    They should try something more productive, like fixing "Unimited Usage" advertised by ISPs and Wireless Carriers. I'm sure they'll have more success.

  21. Called ringback tones on Remember When You Called Someone and Heard a Song? (vice.com) · · Score: 2

    I worked at Alltel in the IT department when this was originally released. I hated the concept, but abhorred being forced to listen to them. Because it was (a) usually an annoying song NOT of my choosing and (b) in the phone earpiece it usually sounded just horrible.

    After a few days I informed my manager of a perfect lost sales opportunity: People actually pay us to play "their song" as a ringtone for everyone, right? I'll pay us even MORE to not EVER play them to me. She laughed and ignored me.

    I shouldda run it straight up to the CEO back then -- I coulda' been a contender! I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am

  22. Re:Like AI on Toyota Demos A Flying Car. It Crashes. (ap.org) · · Score: 1

    Watch how many times said human has to come running to override a confused checkout computer

    Agree, but I thought their PRIMARY purpose was to make sure you actually scanned all of your items and not accidentally "miss" a few of the more expensive ones.

    Conversely, I consider any product without a marked or tagged price to be free, and complain when they ask me to pay for it.

  23. Re:What is ethically complex? on 'Coding Is Not Fun, It's Technically and Ethically Complex' (qz.com) · · Score: 1

    Not all of us writing code to throw the switch of a railroad track with an unstoppable locomotive barrelling down towards a group of three deaf people who could not hear it coming, while there is an invalid in a wheelchair on the side track who could not get out even if he could hear it coming.

    No, no. I used to work for a railroad company and we had similar design issues. You have absolutely NO IDEA how hard it is to make sure that you hit both the deaf people and the invalid with the same engine. It's much harder than you think: the switches are old and slow and the people keep trying to get away. It's almost like they don't want to hug the train or something.

    But that bright light on front always freezes them like a deer in the headlights, so it's all good.

  24. Re:Why should we be different to studios? on Our Obsession With Trailers Is Making Movies Worse (cnet.com) · · Score: 1

    "Big explosions and tits."

    I'd rather see big tits and explosions ... IF you know what I mean.

  25. Pepperidge Farm remembers... on 1.9 Million Bell Customer Email Addresses Stolen By 'Anonymous Hacker' (www.cbc.ca) · · Score: 4, Interesting

    1.9 million active email addresses and about 1,700 names and active phone numbers.

    Remember the good old days when phone books ruled the earth? *1 The intrusion! OMG -- people could actually see how to spell your full name! AND obtain your phone number! AND your actual physical address. OH, the HORROR!! ( Heck, I understand the police force back then actually had phone number sorted phone-books instead of alphabetic ones for detective ease of use.)

    Now, tying it to a specific usage case (customers) IS a little more specific, but being a customer of "Bell Canada's largest telecommunications company" isn't exactly an exclusive club. Same for the email addresses -- it's easy and effectively free to spam those, but aren't they receiving spam already? And just because "knowing" someone's there doesn't mean they'll actually be reading your message. Although it IS an ever-so-slightly more of a chance that they will. Almost doesn't seem like it's worth the bother -- but then again, I don't know anything about in the spam ecosystem.

    It's still a bad event and should be prevented, but still: yawn. There is no indication that any [other data] was accessed" I'd be worried about what ELSE they did while they were (ARE) in there.

    *1: You might not, but *I* do. Heck, I used and remember when the prefix was words and not just 7 or 10 numeric digits -- Mine was LOcust followed by 5 digits. My mom had a party line (single line shared between families, each with a separate ring) and even used a phone without a dial -- you picked it up and talked to the operator who then dialed it for you.