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User: fahrbot-bot

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  1. Future LucasArts project... on Rat-Brained Robots Take Their First Steps · · Score: 3, Funny
    Reading about disembodied rat-brains and what George Lucas can do with a script got me thinking about future projects for LucasArts... Announcing the new animated film from George Lucas, Scott Adams and George Romero, Night of the Living Ratbert, featuring the disembodied brain of Jar Jar.
    • Qui-Gon: You almost got us killed. Are you brainless?
    • Jar Jar: I spake.
    • Qui-Gon: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
    • Jar Jar: "The Bosses would do terrible tings to me, terrible tings to me if me goin' back dere!"
    • Qui-Gon: "Do you hear that? "
    • Jar Jar:"Yah."
    • Qui-Gon: "That is the sound of a thousand disembodied rat-brains heading this way."
      Off in the distance: "Brains, braaiinnss..."
    • Qui-Gon: (Starts hacking with lightsaber.)
    • Jar Jar: Messa feel strange... Brains, braaiinnss...
  2. Future headline on "The Register"... on US Broadband Won't Catch Up With Japan's For 101 Years · · Score: 4, Funny

    With enough statistical mangling, nearly anything can be presented as plausible, but that's not enough to cover up my envy of Asian broadband speed.

    "Asian Pipe Envy"

  3. Re:American planning in action on Russian Invasion of Georgia Might Jeopardize Space Station · · Score: 5, Funny

    Russia thinks ahead and plans ahead.

    I believe the phrase you're looking for is, "Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan".
    - Adm. Painter, The Hunt for Red October

    Ahhh, Permanent UN Security Council members and their toys...

  4. Re:First Amendment? on LucasArts Embargoes "Clone Wars" Reviews · · Score: 1

    does this not go against the spirit of the first amendment (freedom of the press)

    The First Amendment prohibits the Government from restricting the Press.

  5. Re:Suddenly... on Cooking Stimulated Big Leap In Human Cognition · · Score: 1

    Correct enough, though *in real life*, monoliths are natural geological features, while obelisks are artificial (alien/man-made) features. The one in 2001 is an oddity as it's not shaped like an obelisk, but is also clearly not a natural object. In the context of the story, I stand corrected and am off to re-read the book ... :-)

  6. Suddenly... on Cooking Stimulated Big Leap In Human Cognition · · Score: 3, Funny

    Then, 150,000 years ago, our big brains suddenly got smart.

    I'm betting there's a giant black obelisk involved ... (cue weird music)

  7. Start here... on IT Internship In the US For a Foreigner? · · Score: 0, Troll

    I am ... studying Business Informatics ... I would like to do my internship in the US, but I do not know how to start.

    Practice saying, "Would you like fries with that?" :-)

  8. From the patent application... on Digital Camera Powered By a Fuel Cell · · Score: 1
    From the patent application (emphasis mine)...

    [0032]In FIG. 1, there are illustrated a fuel tank 1 (hydrogen storage alloy vessel), a body power generation cell 2, a hydrogen fuel flow path (for interchangeable lens) 3, a hydrogen fuel flow path opening 3a, a hydrogen fuel flow path (for strobe light) 5, a hydrogen fuel flow path opening 5a, and a hydrogen fuel flow path 7.

    Good luck getting *that* past the TSA and onto an airplane.

  9. I'm confused. on Why Shoot Down a Satellite? Analyzing an Analysis · · Score: 2, Funny

    Is this on /. because it involves satelites, or because, the analysis is full of flaws and lack of rigor ... lacking any sort of numerical reasoning? Perhaps I should read TFA... :-)

  10. Upon further reflection... on USAF Enlists Shrinks To Help Drone Pilots Cope · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Considering that pilots in theater spend their off hours with other people in theater, who share in the same situation, while UAV pilots (in Utah) go home to their spouse and kids and I can see a potential need for them to have someone to talk to.

  11. Re:Out on a limb on Net Shoppers Bullied Into "Verified By Visa" Program · · Score: 5, Funny

    I buy all my hookers and blow locally.

    They accept Visa? It really is everywhere you want to be! I'm guessing that for everything else you use Mastercard.

  12. Re:$300M on Microsoft Tries a New Ad Agency · · Score: 2, Funny

    They don't provide mp3 players that look like your TV's remote control with 200 buttons and dozens of modes.

    Nor does Apple use the "squirt" in any context...

  13. Re:ooohhhh on SpaceX Launch Failure Due To Timing Problem · · Score: 1

    Perhaps they need a new Chef Engineer.

    Yes, I don't think Alton Brown would put up with these boosters. Only one uni-tasker in his kitchen (fire extinguisher).

  14. Speaking in metaphors... on Theorists Make Quantum Communications Breakthrough · · Score: 1

    ... two quantum channels with zero capacity can carry information ...

    Meaning two blondes make a brunette?

  15. In tablespace, no one can hear you scream... on Diagramming Tool For SQL Select Statements · · Score: 3, Funny

    If you sit close to the DBAs, you can hear them screaming...

    I've noticed that when things go horribly wrong, you don't actaully have to sit that close. To be fair, as a Unix SA who has to deal with Windoze systems, I've done my fair share of screaming. :-)

  16. Wow! on Awesome Pics of CERN's Large Hadron Collider · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let me be the first to say: That's a LOT of zip ties...

  17. Re:It has already been many years on House Dems Turn Out the Lights On the GOP · · Score: 1

    You don't know the cost and selling price of every barrel of oil Exxon sells, so you can't predict whether selling more from offshore rigs will help. That's OK. Exxon knows.

    True enough, but I'd like to remind people that Exxon (and the other Oil companies) aren't in business to find oil, they're in business to make money. It's possible that may mean not finding oil - or letting others find oil...

  18. Re:It has already been many years on House Dems Turn Out the Lights On the GOP · · Score: 1

    Americans can't have cheaper gas because some corporation might make some money...

    It looks like the Oil corporations are making money just fine now - at least Exxon is. I can't really imagine why they would *want* to spend a ton of money to build off-shore drilling rigs to produce more oil and (oops!) lower the price of oil -- thereby making them *less* money. The Oil companies seem pretty happy now *and* get to blame the lack of ANWAR and off-shore access for the high price of Oil.

    Sounds like a conspiracy theory, but nicely explains why no one's drilling on the present Alaska and off-shore leases...

  19. Scratch and sniff... on Windows Is Dead – Long Live Midori? · · Score: 1
    Midori is reported to be an offshoot of Microsoft Research's Singularity OS,...

    And will taste like Muskmelon - yummy!

  20. Re:Failure modes? on Practical Jetpack Available "Soon" · · Score: 1
    I'd say parachutes are fairly graceful.

    Above a certain altitude, sure. Otherwise, I'm betting on some sort of fall / crush injury - ouch!

  21. Failure modes? on Practical Jetpack Available "Soon" · · Score: 0, Redundant

    I've said it before that the main problem with these devices is that there is no graceful failure mode - unless you consider "spudder, spudder, AHHHHHHHH, splat" acceptable.

  22. Sync may be useful... on Microsoft Bets Big On Computing For the Car · · Score: 1
    ...for airport rental cars and the like, but I cannot really imagine many of the "features" used by regular owners.

    For example, in the Ford commercial the guy says "Find a Nail Salon" - like that'll come up often. If you live there, you already know what Salon (or whatever), because you asked a friend. Perhaps you'd ask, "Find [a specific 'whatever']" - once.

    Personally, (and this is a bit of a troll) having the names Ford *and* Microsoft together just give me two reasons not to buy that car....

  23. Re:You'd have thought they'd have learnt..... on Tenise Barker Takes On RIAA Damages Theory · · Score: 1
    someone...will turn around and deliver a legal kick in the nuts

    Ah yes, the Cartman maneuver.

  24. ...make lemonade. on Amazon Explains Why S3 Went Down · · Score: 3, Funny

    A random bit got flipped in one of the server state messages...

    Cosmic Rays perhaps? I guess they could line the room with lead, or simply re-market S3 as a Neutrino detector. :-)

  25. Re:It can be done! on Why Power Failures Can Always Lead To Data Loss · · Score: 1

    ...make sure you never, ever run emacs, vi, or Gpaint.

    Umm... -x happy-thoughts-mode
    And for your ~/.emacs file:

    (autoload 'happy-thoughts-mode "htfuncs"
    "Major mode for Happy Thoughts compatible operation."
    t nil)