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User: fahrbot-bot

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Comments · 7,540

  1. Low IQ... on Note To Criminals — Don't Call Tech Support · · Score: 5, Funny

    Probably used too much leaded gasoline when he was younger.

  2. Upgrade computer used for models... on Monster Black Hole Busts Theory · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...computer models of star evolution have difficulty producing black holes more massive than this...

    Perhaps they need to upgrade to another OS better optimized for modeling black holes... Unless they're saving this for modeling those super-massive ones.

  3. In other words... on Verizon Wireless Opt-Out Plan For Customer Records · · Score: 2
    From the TFA: In order to better serve your communications needs and to identify, offer and provide products and services to meet your requirements, ...

    Meaning: In order to increase our revenue and profit margins ...

    ... we need your permission to share this information among our affiliates, agents and parent companies (including Vodafone) and their subsidiaries.

    ... unless you tell us otherwise, we will trash any semblance of privacy you thought you had and share your data with the entities we really care about, so we can all make even more money off you chumps.

    I guess it could be worse, they could be sharing your data with the NSA. Oh wait...damn.

  4. Pink Ponies, Brown Gnus on Making Your Code OSS-Appealing? · · Score: 1, Funny
    What do you have to do to make your code 'OSS appealing?

    I try to write in different colors and decorate the comments with drawings of flowers, pink ponies and those Gnus from Africa (I draw those in brown). I put little hearts over the "i"s and include smiley faces in the output.

  5. Great, the iHAL. on New Phone Wants to be Your Personal Trainer · · Score: 2, Funny
    • You: Call Sam.
    • Phone: I'm afraid I can't do that. Not until you eat your peas.
    • You: I don't like peas! Call Sam.
    • Phone: I can see you're really upset about this.
      I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.
    • You: No, I'm fine. Please call Sam.
    • Phone: I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit.
  6. Title should have been... on Heart Corset to Reduce Congestive Heart Failure · · Score: 1

    ...Be Slim My Aching Heart.

  7. $2000 and some Skittles. on Indiana Jones Gets Robbed · · Score: 1
    The thief started contacting multiple entertainment websites including TMZ.com and offering the stolen goods for a sum of $2000.00."

    ... and "a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious" and some "Skittles".

  8. Re:Happened to me on Verizon, Copper, Fiber, and the Truth · · Score: 2, Informative
    They also put a battery in my basement to give me eight hours of phone service during a power outage.

    I hope they told you that when the battery needs to be replaced, you'll have to pay for the new one... It's in the fine print. Enjoy.

  9. Pop click click... on The World's Languages Are Fast Becoming Extinct · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...pop pop la la la click click click. (If you know what I mean.)

    But seriously. This reminds me of the Futurama episode where Prof. Farnsworth shows Qbert his universal translator that, "unfortunately only translates into some incomprehensible dead language." Qbert says "hello" into the machine which translates it as "Bon Jour."

  10. One stone, two borg... on Hacked iPhones Confirmed As Bricking With Latest Update · · Score: 1
    and at least one reference to Ballmer throwing chairs. Bonus points if you make a reference to the Borg.

    Doesn't one reference cover both?

  11. In related news... on RIAA Targets New Colleges, Still Avoids Harvard · · Score: 2, Funny

    Harvard professors receive 22 requests for counsel about 403 RIAA letters ...

  12. Still have AmiPro and WordPro on OpenOffice 2.3 Released · · Score: 1

    I *still* have AmiPro loaded on a system as well as WordPro. Both Kick Ass over Word!

  13. Pot. Meet kettle... on Most Science Studies Tainted by Sloppy Analysis · · Score: 1
    These flawed findings, for the most part, stem not from fraud or formal misconduct, but from more mundane misbehavior: miscalculation, poor study design or self-serving data analysis.

    Said the WSJ editorial board...

  14. The other half... on Half of SCO's Accountants Quit · · Score: 1

    ...are waiting for their stock options to mature.

  15. Resistance is futile... on SwarmOS Demonstrated at Idea Festival · · Score: 4, Funny
    "Intelligent Life has short summary of a demonstration by MIT professor James McLurkin of his new group-minded robots, which run an operating system called 'Swarm OS'.

    Professor James McLurkin now goes by the designation "1 of 12".

  16. Re:OS-centric, or user-centric? on Walt Mossberg Reviews Ubuntu · · Score: 1
    You hit the nail on the head. Linux geeks actually do NOT want that. They still see themselves as the "computer wizards" and want to be worshipped for their magic powers.

    Although, most of the "computer wizards" I know run BSD :-)
    [...ducks and runs for cover...]

  17. Instead of shooting the messenger... on Walt Mossberg Reviews Ubuntu · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Perhaps Linux would make better progress with the unwashed masses if, instead of trashing a Linux-inept user/reviewer or "fossil" (as someone called Walt), the community simply "fixed" (for lack of a better word) the issue. If the mouse pad sensitivity can be changed easily in Windows, the same should be true for Linux, etc.. If the edges are rough for the "average user" - meaning average non-Linux proficient user - smooth them over.

    I'm not suggesting that the rank-and-file support the uninitiated, but perhaps Linux vendors can take these types of things as fielding notes to help them build a better product.

    Unless Linux geeks don't actually *want* Windows users to switch... :-)

  18. No bit-bucket. on Are You Being Cheated by Digital Cable? · · Score: 1
    You leave the TV on and unplug the cable. If what spills out is all ones and zeros, it's digital. If you get a tangled mess of unspooled E&M, then it's analog.

    Good advise, but I lent my bitbucket out to a friend, so this method would be way too messy.

  19. Feel the signal. on Are You Being Cheated by Digital Cable? · · Score: 4, Funny
    But how to know for sure if a channel is digital or analog as received?

    I feel the cable to see if the signal is rough and bumpy, or smooth and wavy. Why, how do you do it?

  20. Lasers are better with Photons... on Photonic Laser Thruster Promises Earth to Mars in a Week · · Score: 4, Funny
    Photonic Laser Thruster

    Muuuuch better than using those LASERS without Photons.

    [I hear that adding the photons also makes them lighter...]

  21. iPhone off with touchscreen? on Turned Off iPhone Gets $4800 Bill from AT&T · · Score: 1
    Someone please correct / enlighten me, but how can the phone *ever* truely be OFF when it requires interaction on its touchsceen to turn it on again?

    In addition, it's unclear from TFA whether the phones were "off" or in standby. Has any checked if auto email checking continues when the phone is actually "off" and/or in standby?

  22. Real innovation... on Intel to Take Online Suggestions for New Chips · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hope for real innovation, like in the cell-phone market. I want a CPU in blue and yellow with a camera and another in pink with sparkles. OMG could they make it in the shape of a pony!

  23. Apologies to Steven Wright... on A Telescope as Big as the Earth · · Score: 1

    I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
  24. hamper development? on Justice Department Opposes Net Neutrality · · Score: 1
    "hamper development of the internet."

    Ya. If it weren't for Neutrality this Intar-web thingy would be *much* more popular by now.

  25. Simple solution. on Are Relational Databases Obsolete? · · Score: 3, Funny

    I tried turning my Oracle server on its side to get column-store access. Strangely, I didn't see any increase in performance. Perhaps I'll try the other side...