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User: StefanJ

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  1. Ignorance is Strength on Ron Paul Suggests Axing 5 U.S. Federal Departments (and Budgets) · · Score: 0

    It says so right in the Bible. Take my word for it!

    Without interference from the government and people who actually know things, free enterprise will be able to create more marketable, affordable, and Job Creator-friendly realities for today's busy consumers.

  2. Mindless dupes of a well financed astroturf outfit on Ask Slashdot: How Do You View the Wall Street Protests? · · Score: 2

    Oh, wait, sorry . . . I was thinking about last year's protestors.

  3. A continent away, but on edge on Hurricane Irene Prompts Unprecedented Evacuation of NYC · · Score: 1

    It's sunny and beautiful in Oregon, but I'm checking the news regularly.

    My sister lives on Long Island full time, my brother weekdays; they live on either side of Irene's current projected path through Nassau County. It's odd and disquieting to see the line going through familiar places like Hempstead and Muttontown.

    Two cousins live in NYC, one far enough south in Manhattan to be in the "B" Zone.

    Batten down the hatches, folks. Don't do anything stupid.

    And remember: Creamed Eels, Wadded Beef and Corn Nog don't keep without refrigeration!

  4. D'oh! on Hurricane Irene Threatens US Northeast; Cover Your Assets · · Score: 1

    Obligatory Simpsons References.

  5. Don't Forget . . . on Hurricane Irene Threatens US Northeast; Cover Your Assets · · Score: 1

    Lay in supplies of wadded beef, creamed eels, and corn nog to feed the IT staff shackled to the A/C units.

  6. I can't wait . . . on Russia Approves Siberia-Alaska Railway · · Score: 3, Funny

    . . . to see bearded guys in furs hanging around in Penn Station, waiting for the track announcement for the train to Moscow (first stop Secaucus Junction, of course).

  7. Best possible announcement? on NASA Briefing on New Mars Finding This Afternoon · · Score: 1

    Discount multi-species alien space brothel.

    Nothing, nothing, could be better for NASA, budgetarily speaking.

    Scientists will want to take advantage to examine a variety of intelligent species in once place.

    Moralizing blowhard conservatives will want to mount an expedition to close the place down.

    A large portion of the Internet geek community will lay out serious money for the chance to get them some alien tail.

  8. Maker Faire started in the Bay Area on Detroit Maker Faire Was Kinda Awesome · · Score: 1

    The Rust Belt states are the places most in need of grass roots innovation, and I'm really glad to see that the Maker Faire there has appeared for a second year running.

    But FWIW, MAKE has very California roots. The magazine is published by O'Reilly, and the first and longest running Maker Faire is held in San Mateo. And there's a joyous hippie transgressive vibe to it that must seem very alien to old-school manufacturing hubs but is unmistakably west coast.

    The next "big" Maker Faire (there are mini faires all over the place) will be in New York City in September. It too could use a shot of happy weirdness.

  9. This is why I always rooted for . . . on Researchers Say Dark Winters Led To Bigger Human Brains · · Score: 2

    . . . the Morlocks. They may be ugly anthropophages, but I figured they'd have to be smarter than the Eloi, and got to play with ancient machinery to boot.

  10. During the hearing . . . on Chief NSA Lawyer Hints That NSA May Be Tracking US Citizens · · Score: 5, Funny

    . . . Fox News correspondents were seen sweating, nervously adjusting their collars, and making "SHHHH!" gestures to Mr. Olsen.

  11. Well, that's sad. on Texas Site Pushes Back Known Settlement Date For North America · · Score: 1, Insightful

    I sign on to make a wise-ass comment about creationism and Texas and find two others beat me too it.

    Either /. commenter creativity has hit a new low, or Texas's reputation is so overpowering that such jokes are inevitable.

  12. Highy Complex on A New Class of Nuclear Reactors · · Score: 2

    I'm sure there's a good reason. I'm just curious.

    Long-standing rules require that cooling system pumpbs be turned by thirteen blind eunuchs running on a treadmill, backwards.

    Backup systems powered by steam engined fueled by burning kittens and the tears of homeless orphans are becoming popular.

  13. Huh? on NASA Wants Revolutionary Radiation Shielding Tech · · Score: 4, Insightful

    With the exception of Project Orion, all of the nuclear propulsion concepts I've read about, and even the actual trials made in the 1960s, have much lower thrust than chemical fueled rockets. In the case of ion and plasma thrusters, vanishingly little thrust. Even in the case of fission/thermal rockets (e.g., NERVA), only about a third of the thrust of chemical rockets. They are less suitable for getting stuff into orbit than chemical rockets.

    Once you're in orbit (or beyond), thrust counts for much less than exhaust velocity.

    And as for Project Orion: Yeah, some of the proposed designs could heave a pretty damn big ship into orbit, But the fear of fallout from hundreds of little atomic bombs going off in the atmosphere is anything but irrational. One of the principles of the project, Freeman Dyson, specifically stated that the risk wasn't worth it. (I mean, maybe if there was a big asteroid on the way . . .)

    And . . . jeeze:
    "Water, when exposed to vacuum, freezes."

    No, it evaporates.

  14. Well, I guess I won't be posting my joke . . . on Full Bladder Improves Decision Making · · Score: 2

    . . . about how MMO players wearing "Depends" are just putting themselves off their game.

    Best wishes for a fash recovery, devxo!

  15. King of a small, impoverished kingdom on Does Syfy Really Love Sci-Fi? · · Score: 2

    It wouldn't make a difference.

    You are entirely correct in your assessment of SF versus F in the literary world.

    But to a TV programmer, the audience for these genres is A) hardly distinguishable, and B) hardly worth targetting programming at.

    Why? There aren't a lot of products they can specifically target to SF&F fans. At least, products from industries that make enough money to make television advertisements and pay for airtime.

  16. Advertising demographics trumps genre on Does Syfy Really Love Sci-Fi? · · Score: 4, Insightful

    It boils down to this:

    Science fiction and fantasy programming, no matter how high-quality or compelling, do not draw a sufficiently advertising-targetable, high-spending audience to justify a seperate channel.

    In lieu of this, Syfy has chosen the fallback position, which is to appeal to a much broader but reliable audience, young men. Programmers know what shows appeal to this demographic, and advertisers know which products to pitch to them during the breaks.

    Thus: Wrestling, ghost hunting, lurid monster movies.

    Science fiction is not the only genre or category to suffer. A&E and Bravo were concieved as outlets for artsy movies. MTV used to show music videos and be about, well, music. What kind of programs do these channels show now?

    Under the current rules of broadcast and cablecast TV, the situation will never get better. Non-premium channels will get more and more generic and lowbrow. Cheap "reality" shows and infomercials will fill more and more programming slots.

    If you really want high-quality SF&F content, you're going to have to be willing to PAY for it. Either on a premium channel, or by some kind of net subscription.

  17. I went to this place in 1977 or so! on The Uncertain Future of NYC's Last Arcade · · Score: 1

    A high school class went on a class trip to Chinatown in '77. (I remember the year because on the same trip I picked up a copy of Analog with the original short story version of "Ender's Game.")

    The highlight of the visit was this arcade. It was in a lot better shape, but still not exactly a palace. There was a little "Chinatown museum" in the back, but it was closed on the day we went.

    I honestly don't remember many of the games, but we made the chicken dance and the other chicken play tic-tac-toe. As I recall, you got a "consolation prize" of a fortune cookie.

    Also, a thuggish kid, maybe 16, offered to sell us switchblades.

  18. I want an anti-laser pointer! on Scientists Invent World's First Anti-Laser · · Score: 1

    I'm TOTALLY going to $&*# with the cat's head!

  19. This reads like a telecom industry press release on Congresswoman Writes On Broadband, Net Neutrality · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Notice that the parent doesn't deal with any of the issues at hand. It's just talking points and ideological scary-talk (Oooh, "bureaucrats," "control," "clowns," "nannies!")

  20. Technology opens exciting new possibilities . . . on Texas Student Attends School As a Robot · · Score: 2

    . . . for mockery and bullying.

    "No, NO! Not the wire cutters!"

    "I'm not a battlebot! I'm not a battlebot! Please take me out of the arena I'm not . . ." ggzzzzzZZZZZ-CRASH!

    "OK, who put caltrops under Lyndon's Bot's wheels?"

  21. No, no, no! on Opossums Overrun Brooklyn, Fail To Eliminate Rats · · Score: 3, Funny

    The Opossum's most effective predator is the Reticulated Gap-Toothed Yokel.

    They're not liable to freeze to death, but they'll likely get killed off by wandering into traffic while looking up at them big tall buildings.

  22. Especially if . . . on New HRP-4 Humanoid Robots From Japan To Go On Sale · · Score: 1

    . . . you can program it to clean out its own orifices.

    I mean, yeeech, think about it.

    Or better yet, let's all don't think about it. It's almost lunchtime.

  23. Thanks a lot, Jackass on Armed Man Takes Hostages At Discovery Channel HQ · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This disturbed jerk has provided the Pave the Earth right wing with a new Emanuel Goldstein.

    "SEE? We told you all the environmentalists hated humanity! This is all the proof we need that global warming is a hoax and that Yellowstone Park should be sold off to create timeshare resorts!"

  24. I last visited this place . . . on 'Old School' Arcade Still Popular In NYC · · Score: 3, Interesting

    . . . in NINETEEN SEVENTY SEVEN.

    It was a Junior high school field trip to Chinatown. Other than seeing a bum sleeping on the street, and picking up a copy of ANALOG with a Joe Haldeman story, I don't remember anything else BUT this arcade.

    A tough kid offered to sell us switchblades.

    We played the "chicken" games.

    If there were video games, I don't remember them specifically. But they'd certainly be old school stuff that make the "classics" mentioned above seem science fictional.

  25. No, no, no! on Heat Ray Gun Fails Final Test; Nixed From War · · Score: 1

    We need a Sex Change Ray with a setting for Immediate Menstruation.

    We can call it the Burqanizer.