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User: jmorse

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Comments · 194

  1. Re:WHAT!?! on Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files · · Score: 1

    That's be flagged as a deliverance download...and hence copyrighted :)

  2. The Gawds Must Be Crazy on Can Cell Phones Ignite Gasoline Vapors? · · Score: 1

    Maybe it's God's (TM) retribution for the mayor of New Paltz allowing gays to marry. At least, that's what Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell would say.

  3. Re:Auction on Google Files for IPO · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I used to work for the company that pioneered this process for IPOs. Remember Andover.net? That's how they went public (but don't take that outcome as an omen). It's a great pricing model, and still leaves a bit of a first-day pop for the investors.

    The gist of the process is that it prices the IPO so that the proceeds to the company are not diverted to institutional investors. In traditional IPOs the investment banker typically underprices the shares and allocates most of them to large institutional investors as a reward for holding large portfolios in-house. The first-day pop you saw in other IPOs is a sign of that underpricing (in addition to some irrational exuberance). If company X offers 100 shares at $10 per share, then the price shoots up in the aftermarket to $100, that means the company likely could have gone public at $100, raising 10x the revenue. The auction would price it closer to $100.

  4. Will it follow the typical Wal-Mart pattern? on Wal-Mart Relaunches Online Music Store · · Score: 1

    Hmm. I wonder whether the natural result of this will be to see all music "production" offshored to China, where low-skill "musicians" will be paid pennies a day to produce low-quality music in deplorable conditions. Not much of a difference from what we have today, except that Wal-Mart will get *all* the money instead of recording companies.

    Hey - here's an idea. Is there a way we could play Wal-Mart off against the RIAA? That's probably too much to hope for.

  5. MSFT Spam Protocol explained... on MS and Sendmail work together on Spam Solution · · Score: 4, Funny
    I've said it before, but it bears repeating here:
    1. Message Arrives
    2. Message sender and recipient(s) checked against known Windows licensees. If a sender or recipient is not a licensee, message is bounced.
    3. Message headers are examined for mail client. If mail client is not a Micro$oft client, message is bounced.
    4. Message body vetted for disparaging comments about Micro$oft using new "IntelliDiss" technology. If disparaging comments (or intentional derogatory misspellings of company name) are found, message is bounced and forwarded to Micro$oft legal.
    5. Micro$oft pays off Senator Disney (or one of their other stooges in the House or Senate) to sponsor a bill banning the traditional SMTP protocol in favor of MSMTP. Bill passes by a wide margin in both Republican-controlled houses of congress and is signed into law by pResident George W. Bush, who proclaims "You're either with Micro$oft, or you're with the terra-ists." Any remaining SMTP user is secretly arrested and sent to camp X-Ray.
  6. As a member of the Morse family... on Morse Code Enters The 21st Century · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...I expect that my royalty checks will start rolling in soon. If not, I may have to claim a patent on this incremental new advancement so that I can charge users a licensing fee.

    My lawyers will be contacting you shortly...via Morse code, of course.

  7. Re:Consolidation Good on Cingular Wins bid for AT&T Wireless · · Score: 1

    It's funny you should mention communism, since communism entails the state owning the means of production. What I'm talking about differs substantially, with the government owning the infrastructure and private firms competing to provide services via that infrastructure. It's similar to the highway system, which many firms use to transport products but which none of them owns.

    Market fundamentalists crack me up with the assumtion that a market will regulate producers no matter what the situation. Sure, when a market works well (e.g. no entry barriers like exorbitant startup costs, or, say, a monopolist infrastructure owner that has a disincentive to let you play) it's somewhat self-regulating. But in the case of facilities-based competition that's simply not true.

    Oh, and I am not, nor have I ever been a communist :)

  8. Re:Consolidation Good on Cingular Wins bid for AT&T Wireless · · Score: 1

    Actually, network economies and redundant infrastructure make the case for public ownership of the infrastructure. We've already tried to induce facilities-based competition (1996 Telecom Act) in land line networks and it has failed miserably. No incumbent monopoly owner of infrastructure is going to compete fairly over a network infrastructure they own. You have to divorce infrastructure ownership from the sale of services over that network. Better a clunky government bureaucracy than an evil corporate one :)

  9. Blackmail Scheme? on Google Chooses An Underwriter For Upcoming IPO · · Score: 1

    ...not far off, with the way IPOs are currently allocated and priced. But then the institutional investors get the money, not the company.

  10. Re:Noorda's revenge? on SCO Madness Reigns Supreme · · Score: 1

    Riiiiiight. Kind of like George W. Bush is secretly hoping to help the poor and middle class in thee US. It's all a secret plot.

  11. Where's Conan when you need him? on Robot Sales Are Exploding · · Score: 1

    I can see the future now. All the corporations will fire their human workers and replace them with American robots. When the corps eventually figure out that they can get Indian robots even cheaper, they'll fire the American robots, who will then be forced into a life of prostitution. Then they'll finally make PimpBot 5000 models to keep the hooker robots in line. But not to worry: we in Cal-eee-for-nya have the Governator(TM) to protect us.

  12. A still? on Software Error Causes Crisis in Mississippi · · Score: 1

    Maybe Missippi will devolve into an antiquated culture where people make their own whisky by setting up stills in their backyards.

  13. Lord(TM), may thy name be stricken... on Supreme Court Will Hear Pledge of Allegiance Case · · Score: 1

    As a student in a public elementary school, I was ostracized by more than one teacher for omitting the "under God" part of the pledge. Sure, we were told that said part was optional, but there was always a teacher who would say something like "Mr. Morse apparently thinks it's OK to alter the pledge." or some other snide comment. The teachers knew they couldn't officially punish me, but they sure as hell could embarrass me in front of the class for not saying the pledge the way Joe McCarthy and the Daughters of the American Revolution liked to hear it.

    As a strong-willed person, I had no qualms about saying the pledge the way it was originally composed. I could take the flack, but then again many students could not. And when the teacher, who after all is an agent of the state, can ostracize a child for not saying two stupid words in a flag pledge, then we have an establishment of religion. The supreme court may not agree, but the framers would.

    After a while, I figured that I might as well alter the pledge some more. If I was going to be ostracized, I might as well have some fun. About junior high it had morphed into something like

    I pledge allegience to the flag
    of the united police state of America
    and to the Republicans for which it stands...one nation indivisible, with bribery and cabbage patch kids for all


    As you can imagine, it angered more than one teacher :)

  14. Re:Build competing networks! on 9th Circuit Overturns FCC's Cable Modem Decision · · Score: 2, Insightful

    That's exactly the problem. The market isn't free. It costs an exorbitant sum of money to build a cable (or telco) network, which constitutes an almost insurmountable barrier to entry. As such, there would be no mom-n-pop internet companies, because mom-n-pop seldom can seldom raise the billions neccessary to enter the market...not to mention the fact that municipalities typically grant one cable provider (usually the one that bribes, er, campaign finances them the most) a local monopoly, which creates an additional barrier to entry. If you'll remember back to econ 1 (a painful memory for me...2 years of Econ at Berkeley left me pretty burnt out on the subject), you'll remember that one of the primary assumptions/preconditions of a free market was no barriers to entry. If firms can't enter, there's no competition and the whole reason for having a market (providing for societal wants and needs) is moot. That's why we regulate (er, *used to* regulate).

  15. Depends on how they code them... on And They Shall Know You By Your Books · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The library here in San Francisco is considering doing just that. The point was made that privacy really depends on how they do the RFID tags: do they contain only the ISBN code or do they contain a serial number? Of course, any library could switch from the ISBN system to a serial number system at the bequest of Ashcroft and his thugs.

  16. Enterprise Software? on Microsoft Wants to Project "Cool" Image · · Score: 1

    ...Allchin wants to engender a hip, consumer brand image for the company which is largely perceived as an enterprise software company.

    Funny, one doesn't normally think of Microsoft as an enterprise software company. They would actually have to provide enterprise-quality apps for that to happen. NOTE: Internet Explorer and Internet Infiltration Server do not count as enterprise apps. Nor, arguably, do .NET (a framework) or SharePoint (as it relies on IIS).

  17. Re:Tung Pilot? on New Palm Lineup Reviewed: Tungsten T3 & E, Zire 21 · · Score: 1

    ...because my girlfriend already copyrighted the name to describe me.

  18. My favorite bug report on Anniversary of the First Computer Bug · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tracking #: 121144608
    Title: Bush robot constantly makes grammatic mistakes and makes up words.

    Problem Detail:
    Corporate puppet robot model George W. Bush (serial #44625441) exhibits erratic grammatical behavior when deviating from scripted speeches. Often uses words like "subliminable", "methodological", "mispronunciated", "stregic", and "permanency" in place of their English equivalents. Platinum users (Haliburton, Exxon/Mobil, Chevron, Bechtel, Kenneth Lay) have noticed other erratic grammatical behavior, including such phrases as "is our children learning", "we need to make the pie higher", and "will the highways on the internet become more few". Strongly suspect some Jim Beam spilled into the model's grammar logic circuits during an all-night instructional binge session with Barbara and Jenna. Suggest immediate implementation of gaffe-filtering algorithm on all corporate media modules to limit the damage from this bug.

    Problem Resolution:
    Media filters in place as of 12 SEP 2001. Language errors are no longer being reported in the corporate media. Suggest further workaround of detaining at Guantanamo Bay register all non-corporate media modules that are incompatible with gaffe-filtering algorithm.

  19. Re:Country -vs- country rankings? on Top University Rankings for 2004 Released · · Score: 1

    Amen. Go Bears. Cal was the best $4000 per year I ever spent. And now we have The Axe.

  20. flutter flutter flutter on Georgy Tells Why She Should Be California Gov · · Score: 1

    Never thought I'd say this about any candidate for public office, but I think I love this woman!

  21. Re:Cannonballs on SCO Targets US Government, TiVo · · Score: 1

    Exactly. Remember Enron? Prudence and integrity aren't exactly prerequisites for senior management positions these days.

  22. Where are Crockett and Tubbs when we need them? on Florida's Version Of TIA May Spread To Other States · · Score: 1

    Funny...in Florida they don't want felons (or anyone with a name similar to a felon) to vote, but felons sure as hell can "donate" a Big Brother system to the state. Maybe Asher can help with the state's "felon purge" list too.

  23. Postal Workers on USPS To Provide Personal Identity Certification · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    All postal workers will be required to purchase one of the digital signature keys, allowing to verify their identity before reporting for work or going on a shooting rampage.

  24. ...and let's not forget the best Swing App Ever... on Industry Leaders Discuss Java Status Quo · · Score: 1

    IntelliJIDEA!

  25. Re:Microsoft's secret plan vs. Spam: on Microsoft Steps Up Anti-Spam Efforts · · Score: 1

    And let's not forget Spam Plus! Or Spam CE/Pocket Spam...all of them based on the new federally-mandated MSMTP/MSIMAP protocols.