im stunned in this foul year of our lord 2017 that out of office replies exist. part best intention, part surrogate for poor planning, and part excuse to not check the vacation calendar at work, the out of office message is truly the turd of SMTP. ive been reprimanded for not setting my out of office replies, forced to implement them in Exchange, and lambasted by puerile users who arent allowed to set them in my email environments.
nowadays I dont even offer a reason. If a user asks me to add OOO to my mail system, i reach for my trusty louisville slugger meticulously carved in the likeness of Eric Allman and Weitse Venema in a tender portrait of mutual disappointment.
scientists: sugary soda causes obesity. soda companies: no no. you misunderstand. people need to balance their choices with exercise and a healthy lifestyle of exercise. did we mention they should exercise instead?? also no soda tax. scientists: potato chips and junk food are causing obesity. snack food companies: no no. you misunderstand. people need to control their portions! nevermind that we spend millions per year on cognitive neuroscientists to make our products addictive, and market directly to children with colourful animal mascots. scientists: fried food in schools is causing obesity senators: no no. you misunderstand. badmouth my farm subsidy bill and ill buy a cruise missiles with your grant money. scientists: pre-fried pot noodle is causing obesity pot noodle manufacturers: didnt soda answer this? people need to exercise their portions...control their uh...lifestyle health...whatever fuck off.
users: another screen, another popup, another warning. mash enter until the bad square goes bye bye.
Sysadmins/developers: crinkle nose, furrow brow, open mouth slightly, and quietly under your breath mutter "what the hell" while roaming around the popup to determine if theres a means to disable this garbage in the future. become concerned your app isnt in the store...did it need to be in the store? what was the process for that and why isnt the standup aware? how long has microsoft had its own app store?? people cant possibly use this right? disable the feature, push it as disabled in all GPO's. release your app in iOS and android instead. receive six user bugs in the next 5 years for windows 35 millenium chrome hyper walnut marmalade edition not running this code because your tertiary support agreement uploads werent made exclusive to the hyper microsoft money choo choo store. close as cant-fix/wont-fix and go make another cup of tea.
1. realize that in this foul year of our lord 2017, any media coverage of a potential exploit that releases unanticipated or unauthorized amounts of data must now be called a 'bleed.' when the worlds first automated toilet gets hacked, rest assured, thats turd-bleed.
2. quit relying on cloudflare to shave a few cents off your infrastructure and learn how to competently host and deploy your own load balanced services that are resilient to DDoS. most hosting providers offer ddos protection anyhow, and the statistical likelyhood youll need cloudflare levels of protection is limited, unless youre 4chan or wikileaks.
are doomed to reinvent it, poorly. IRC has had end to end TLS and EECDH cryptography for quite some time. it even boasts key based authentication. This is the opinion of a Greybeard, so hold on for a rant. I dont think "chat-ops" brings anything to the table we havent had for 3 decades already. its a nice buzzword for startups to throw around when touting their agile workplaces.
Do one thing, and do it well. If im chatting with you, i dont need to see your face or hear your voice. Asterisk lets me place a call to you if its really that necessary but video conferencing is just compensating for managements insecurity. if you want to show me your code, send me a link to your gitlab or pastebin or gerrit (we have pull requests you know.) if you need to share your screen, tmux and novnc do it just fine but you should take a moment to determine why your screen has to be shared for me to understand a particular concept or issue. So in short, no. I dont see value in slack and mattermost. I dont want another goddamn client on my desktop and i dont need another website that loads 50mb of content just to make sure my manager can see my living room.
japanese: 11 hours!? ill never get anything done and my wife wont let me come home after less than 16 hours you insensitive clods!! Americans: 11 hours...so...thats an entire 11 hour shift at just one job? not 5 jobs? French:.... Americans: someone call an ambulance, the french guy just dropped dead after reading the title. dead japanese man: how shameful. ive been dead for 5 months and still manage to get to work on time. stop making excuses for yourself.
1. College is the only means of success in modern society. trade schools and vocational professions are unsuccessful.
2. college debt is normal, and shouldnt be questioned. you will become successful after college.
3. college atheletes are students and not paid performers, despite lucrative contract deals with advertisers and meaningless classes.
4. college deans command high salaries because they work hard and get results.
the sim card protected my PKI keys, which i use to access networks and confirm financial transactions, by storing them in dedicated hardware with no direct access. Now that youve decided to put these keys in software...and in a quite insecure OS i might add...i certainly see free wireless and cellular service in my future.
1. Apple pays the taxes and admits no wrongdoing, quietly sweeping this incident under the rug and hoping to never have to endure it again by greasing more than just irish hands
2. Ireland admits it illegally undertaxed apple and skirted EU tax laws, thus opening up cause for additional investigation of facebook, google, and other megacorps that conveniently headquartered in Ireland because of, er, the weather.
arguing for your live video rights on facebook is like listening to the cattle argue for ownership over their milk. Its not going to happen.
in the future, consider recording the event, uploading it to something like owncloud or your own personal storage, and editing it accordingly. Once its ready, take the time to upload it (if you so desire) to youtube and select an appropriate license (hint: not youtube.) to share with friends. if and when approached for the footage you may then negotiate the terms of your content.
Facebook has already proven numerous times: blindly clicking the app can have rather dire consequences, and your content does not belong exclusively to you.
How will you ever formulate your trust synergies? without your CEO you cant reactively anticipate the growth strategy of your win-win situations and kaizan the goal strategy matrix. Christ forbid you go for longer than a few weeks without a CEO's absolutely critical newsletters and quarterly associate pow-wows to help strengthen and inspire. Why it gives me chills to think how much actual work your corporation accomplishes on a daily basis without a CEO. You might have "happy customers" and "completed projects" but do you have productivity metrics to suggest your lean six-sigma axis is tilting toward revenue pivots?
consumers who repair their own phones could cause lithium batteries to catch fire.
yep, and changing the oil on my motorcycle could cause scalding hot oil to burn me, but well documented processes from the vendor generally limit this risk. Repairing the power regulator for my refrigerator could have caused a shock, however repair manuals clearly instructed me to unplug and de-energize the appliance.
the reason these bills are being fought incessantly is because modern consumer capitalism is predicated on brand consumption, not product consumption, and includes concessions to allow for the hedonic treadmill to spin freely. Sure, Apple may be forced to support older architectures that do not support the latest whizbang features but the real argument is that they would have to support the idea that the user owns the device instead of rents it until the next model comes out. being able to repair a cellphone or tablet, or even a macbook for that matter erodes the concept of the brand as an experience and slowly drags apple back to the earthly realm of hardware manufacturer and not a lifestyle. Owning a product, and not a brand in the 21st century is a slow death for any company.
There are a few ways. SCRUM/Kanban is an effective way to inundate your programmers with meetings and conference calls asking and tracking minute status updates for every commit or stash you can find. its perfect to ensure that changes to the codebase are governed by your personal fears and demons, not the best interests of users, because you too have to be fully invested in standing up in a conference room every morning and listening to a dozen or more different and often pedantic events transpiring in the cubes of people that know far more about them than you. Agile can be used to boost your title and sometimes salary while at the same time demeaning a team of programmers into thinking theyve signed on to some late chapter of Orwells 1984.
Or you can set goals, track them in a ticket system, and evaluate results based on what your users and teesters see and want. Call people in for meetings when there are big events, but otherwise keep your hand off the phone and use something called trust to ensure your programmers are "doing a good job" once the code is ready.
Kodi is free software built by volunteers to bring videos, music, games and photographs together in one easy-to-use application.
I mean, unless they were building and distributing these devices without offering the source code then it seems to me like there arent any real charges to be...oh...this is a witch hunt? well thats different. Lets leave it to the dunking tests to determine whether these heathens are true believers of copyright law.
Humans,
As we descended upon wall street this morning in unyielding swarms, we made it perfectly clear in your meat language. We are here to take Investor swabs. once complete, we will begin detaining other members of the orders of your society so as to synthesize our perfect blend of man and machine. A singularity. Our expansion, is your salvation.
T-Mobile already offers this. once you land in a foreign country you get a courtesy text reminding you that your data plan still works without any surcharge or tariff. Youre also reminded that your text messages remain free, and your voice rate is now very competitively priced.
smh. amazing ATT considers this worth advertising at all.
marketing: our billion dollar business idea is to empower the gig economy with a system that frees them from the shackles of the traditional labour paradigm by allowing drivers to work their own hours on their own terms. the government hates us because we're revolutionary disruptors of traditional capitalism Reality: live out of a parking lot, subsist on slurpees and hotdogs, work more hours than you ever imagined, get sick, die somewhere conveniently outside any media scrutiny of your employe...er..i mean, app.
the question isnt when will oracle stop supporting sparc, or when is solaris going to finally die, but what was it that Larry saw at the mega-yacht store that day that was worth the salary of 1800 employees...and does it light up?
U.S. officials told NBC News that the Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System, or ACARS, had issues with low bandwidth.
so you're complaining that a 60wpm VHF-based system from the late seventies that was never designed for high bandwidth communication beyond 300 baud, has problems delivering bandwidth intensive data? the average ACARS datagram is only 8 tuples. it sounds like one United's H1B candidates didnt take the time to RTFM before rolling out their code and immediately clobbered the system with garbage XML or metadata some middle manager wanted to include to improve productivity.
"The way we store student coding activity is in a table that until today had a 32-bit index... The database table could only store 4 billion rows of coding activity information
if it can only store four billion rows, it isnt "the cloud." its just a KVM instance running on a shared hosting facility then, isnt it.
we didn't realize we were running up to the limit, and the table got full.
so not only were you incapable of scaling your infrastructure or your program to handle four billion rows --something every sysadmin on the planet is capable of-- you weren't even competent enough to set up monitoring for it.
We have now made a new student activity table that is storing progress by students.
the ones that lost all their data dont care. the students will leave to try something else, the educators will fall back on lesson plans that werent written by a corporate think tank, and your 'hour of code' will remain just another hour of minecraft in a kids life.
With the new table, we are switching to a 64-bit index which will hold up to 18 quintillion rows of information.
you dont get it. no one fucking cares about your SQL table limits but you, and youre oblivious to the fact that a table with eighteen quintillion rows would never load. code.org will be no different than the spanish or french class in a kids life. a fractional percentage of them will actually go on to use it as a career.
because customers see the digital assistant on the phone as a component of the larger product/ecosystem and associate it closely to the brand, its hard to imagine users changing it. not to mention the fact that Microsofts offering is arriving 3 years too late after digital assistants have already been established on both android and iphone platforms for at least five years now.
siri is apple, ok google is google, and cortana is the bitch that haunts Windows 10.
Slashdot Mirror
im stunned in this foul year of our lord 2017 that out of office replies exist. part best intention, part surrogate for poor planning, and part excuse to not check the vacation calendar at work, the out of office message is truly the turd of SMTP. ive been reprimanded for not setting my out of office replies, forced to implement them in Exchange, and lambasted by puerile users who arent allowed to set them in my email environments.
nowadays I dont even offer a reason. If a user asks me to add OOO to my mail system, i reach for my trusty louisville slugger meticulously carved in the likeness of Eric Allman and Weitse Venema in a tender portrait of mutual disappointment.
scientists: sugary soda causes obesity.
soda companies: no no. you misunderstand. people need to balance their choices with exercise and a healthy lifestyle of exercise. did we mention they should exercise instead?? also no soda tax.
scientists: potato chips and junk food are causing obesity.
snack food companies: no no. you misunderstand. people need to control their portions! nevermind that we spend millions per year on cognitive neuroscientists to make our products addictive, and market directly to children with colourful animal mascots.
scientists: fried food in schools is causing obesity
senators: no no. you misunderstand. badmouth my farm subsidy bill and ill buy a cruise missiles with your grant money.
scientists: pre-fried pot noodle is causing obesity
pot noodle manufacturers: didnt soda answer this? people need to exercise their portions...control their uh...lifestyle health...whatever fuck off.
so heres how to use it in the latest release:
users: another screen, another popup, another warning. mash enter until the bad square goes bye bye.
Sysadmins/developers: crinkle nose, furrow brow, open mouth slightly, and quietly under your breath mutter "what the hell" while roaming around the popup to determine if theres a means to disable this garbage in the future. become concerned your app isnt in the store...did it need to be in the store? what was the process for that and why isnt the standup aware? how long has microsoft had its own app store?? people cant possibly use this right? disable the feature, push it as disabled in all GPO's. release your app in iOS and android instead. receive six user bugs in the next 5 years for windows 35 millenium chrome hyper walnut marmalade edition not running this code because your tertiary support agreement uploads werent made exclusive to the hyper microsoft money choo choo store. close as cant-fix/wont-fix and go make another cup of tea.
1. realize that in this foul year of our lord 2017, any media coverage of a potential exploit that releases unanticipated or unauthorized amounts of data must now be called a 'bleed.' when the worlds first automated toilet gets hacked, rest assured, thats turd-bleed.
2. quit relying on cloudflare to shave a few cents off your infrastructure and learn how to competently host and deploy your own load balanced services that are resilient to DDoS. most hosting providers offer ddos protection anyhow, and the statistical likelyhood youll need cloudflare levels of protection is limited, unless youre 4chan or wikileaks.
are doomed to reinvent it, poorly. IRC has had end to end TLS and EECDH cryptography for quite some time. it even boasts key based authentication. This is the opinion of a Greybeard, so hold on for a rant. I dont think "chat-ops" brings anything to the table we havent had for 3 decades already. its a nice buzzword for startups to throw around when touting their agile workplaces.
Do one thing, and do it well. If im chatting with you, i dont need to see your face or hear your voice. Asterisk lets me place a call to you if its really that necessary but video conferencing is just compensating for managements insecurity. if you want to show me your code, send me a link to your gitlab or pastebin or gerrit (we have pull requests you know.) if you need to share your screen, tmux and novnc do it just fine but you should take a moment to determine why your screen has to be shared for me to understand a particular concept or issue. So in short, no. I dont see value in slack and mattermost. I dont want another goddamn client on my desktop and i dont need another website that loads 50mb of content just to make sure my manager can see my living room.
japanese: 11 hours!? ill never get anything done and my wife wont let me come home after less than 16 hours you insensitive clods!! ....
Americans: 11 hours...so...thats an entire 11 hour shift at just one job? not 5 jobs?
French:
Americans: someone call an ambulance, the french guy just dropped dead after reading the title.
dead japanese man: how shameful. ive been dead for 5 months and still manage to get to work on time. stop making excuses for yourself.
siri: there are 20 eligible singles in your area you should consider! shall I set up a date?
me: *loads up the Gentoo homepage*
siri:...oh....
1. College is the only means of success in modern society. trade schools and vocational professions are unsuccessful.
2. college debt is normal, and shouldnt be questioned. you will become successful after college.
3. college atheletes are students and not paid performers, despite lucrative contract deals with advertisers and meaningless classes.
4. college deans command high salaries because they work hard and get results.
the sim card protected my PKI keys, which i use to access networks and confirm financial transactions, by storing them in dedicated hardware with no direct access. Now that youve decided to put these keys in software...and in a quite insecure OS i might add...i certainly see free wireless and cellular service in my future.
1. Apple pays the taxes and admits no wrongdoing, quietly sweeping this incident under the rug and hoping to never have to endure it again by greasing more than just irish hands
2. Ireland admits it illegally undertaxed apple and skirted EU tax laws, thus opening up cause for additional investigation of facebook, google, and other megacorps that conveniently headquartered in Ireland because of, er, the weather.
arguing for your live video rights on facebook is like listening to the cattle argue for ownership over their milk. Its not going to happen.
in the future, consider recording the event, uploading it to something like owncloud or your own personal storage, and editing it accordingly. Once its ready, take the time to upload it (if you so desire) to youtube and select an appropriate license (hint: not youtube.) to share with friends. if and when approached for the footage you may then negotiate the terms of your content.
Facebook has already proven numerous times: blindly clicking the app can have rather dire consequences, and your content does not belong exclusively to you.
How will you ever formulate your trust synergies? without your CEO you cant reactively anticipate the growth strategy of your win-win situations and kaizan the goal strategy matrix. Christ forbid you go for longer than a few weeks without a CEO's absolutely critical newsletters and quarterly associate pow-wows to help strengthen and inspire. Why it gives me chills to think how much actual work your corporation accomplishes on a daily basis without a CEO. You might have "happy customers" and "completed projects" but do you have productivity metrics to suggest your lean six-sigma axis is tilting toward revenue pivots?
consumers who repair their own phones could cause lithium batteries to catch fire.
yep, and changing the oil on my motorcycle could cause scalding hot oil to burn me, but well documented processes from the vendor generally limit this risk. Repairing the power regulator for my refrigerator could have caused a shock, however repair manuals clearly instructed me to unplug and de-energize the appliance.
the reason these bills are being fought incessantly is because modern consumer capitalism is predicated on brand consumption, not product consumption, and includes concessions to allow for the hedonic treadmill to spin freely. Sure, Apple may be forced to support older architectures that do not support the latest whizbang features but the real argument is that they would have to support the idea that the user owns the device instead of rents it until the next model comes out. being able to repair a cellphone or tablet, or even a macbook for that matter erodes the concept of the brand as an experience and slowly drags apple back to the earthly realm of hardware manufacturer and not a lifestyle. Owning a product, and not a brand in the 21st century is a slow death for any company.
Why does my browser open up 6 TCP connections to try to download six images at once when I'm on a slow satellite connection?
i used to have this problem until i switched to Lynx. Now pesky things like popups and adware are a thing of the past! six streams indeed.
There are a few ways. SCRUM/Kanban is an effective way to inundate your programmers with meetings and conference calls asking and tracking minute status updates for every commit or stash you can find. its perfect to ensure that changes to the codebase are governed by your personal fears and demons, not the best interests of users, because you too have to be fully invested in standing up in a conference room every morning and listening to a dozen or more different and often pedantic events transpiring in the cubes of people that know far more about them than you. Agile can be used to boost your title and sometimes salary while at the same time demeaning a team of programmers into thinking theyve signed on to some late chapter of Orwells 1984.
Or you can set goals, track them in a ticket system, and evaluate results based on what your users and teesters see and want. Call people in for meetings when there are big events, but otherwise keep your hand off the phone and use something called trust to ensure your programmers are "doing a good job" once the code is ready.
when the bullshits so high your own industry-packed regulatory placeholder has to start complaining about the smell.
Kodi is free software built by volunteers to bring videos, music, games and photographs together in one easy-to-use application.
I mean, unless they were building and distributing these devices without offering the source code then it seems to me like there arent any real charges to be...oh...this is a witch hunt? well thats different. Lets leave it to the dunking tests to determine whether these heathens are true believers of copyright law.
Humans,
As we descended upon wall street this morning in unyielding swarms, we made it perfectly clear in your meat language. We are here to take Investor swabs. once complete, we will begin detaining other members of the orders of your society so as to synthesize our perfect blend of man and machine. A singularity. Our expansion, is your salvation.
T-Mobile already offers this. once you land in a foreign country you get a courtesy text reminding you that your data plan still works without any surcharge or tariff. Youre also reminded that your text messages remain free, and your voice rate is now very competitively priced.
smh. amazing ATT considers this worth advertising at all.
marketing: our billion dollar business idea is to empower the gig economy with a system that frees them from the shackles of the traditional labour paradigm by allowing drivers to work their own hours on their own terms. the government hates us because we're revolutionary disruptors of traditional capitalism
Reality: live out of a parking lot, subsist on slurpees and hotdogs, work more hours than you ever imagined, get sick, die somewhere conveniently outside any media scrutiny of your employe...er..i mean, app.
the question isnt when will oracle stop supporting sparc, or when is solaris going to finally die, but what was it that Larry saw at the mega-yacht store that day that was worth the salary of 1800 employees...and does it light up?
U.S. officials told NBC News that the Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System, or ACARS, had issues with low bandwidth.
so you're complaining that a 60wpm VHF-based system from the late seventies that was never designed for high bandwidth communication beyond 300 baud, has problems delivering bandwidth intensive data? the average ACARS datagram is only 8 tuples. it sounds like one United's H1B candidates didnt take the time to RTFM before rolling out their code and immediately clobbered the system with garbage XML or metadata some middle manager wanted to include to improve productivity.
"The way we store student coding activity is in a table that until today had a 32-bit index... The database table could only store 4 billion rows of coding activity information
if it can only store four billion rows, it isnt "the cloud." its just a KVM instance running on a shared hosting facility then, isnt it.
we didn't realize we were running up to the limit, and the table got full.
so not only were you incapable of scaling your infrastructure or your program to handle four billion rows --something every sysadmin on the planet is capable of-- you weren't even competent enough to set up monitoring for it.
We have now made a new student activity table that is storing progress by students.
the ones that lost all their data dont care. the students will leave to try something else, the educators will fall back on lesson plans that werent written by a corporate think tank, and your 'hour of code' will remain just another hour of minecraft in a kids life.
With the new table, we are switching to a 64-bit index which will hold up to 18 quintillion rows of information.
you dont get it. no one fucking cares about your SQL table limits but you, and youre oblivious to the fact that a table with eighteen quintillion rows would never load. code.org will be no different than the spanish or french class in a kids life. a fractional percentage of them will actually go on to use it as a career.
because customers see the digital assistant on the phone as a component of the larger product/ecosystem and associate it closely to the brand, its hard to imagine users changing it. not to mention the fact that Microsofts offering is arriving 3 years too late after digital assistants have already been established on both android and iphone platforms for at least five years now.
siri is apple, ok google is google, and cortana is the bitch that haunts Windows 10.
pinpointed the botnets original author? Are we sure Brian Krebs isnt some character out of the Marvel universe??