Slashdot Mirror

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Surveys show most Slashdot readers would like to get more surveillance on this.

New its the incredible goatse-bot!
You seen the site but now you can have a real moving goatse in your own home

It shows its anus, it uses loopback, it can connect to your linux box and print an ascii goatse on the terminal!

You can have sex with it! You can rape kittens with it! Best of all it can even make your anus look like it!

All this for 3 easy payments of $99.99, Order now! And if you order in the next 10 minutes we will throw in a FREE Penis Bird

New its the incredible goatse-bot!
You seen the site but now you can have a real moving goatse in your own home

It shows its anus, it uses loopback, it can connect to your linux box and print an ascii goatse on the terminal!

You can have sex with it! You can rape kittens with it! Best of all it can even make your anus look like it!

All this for 3 easy payments of $99.99, Order now! And if you order in the next 10 minutes we will throw in a FREE Penis Bird

Uh... cool... that deserves a goatse.cx link

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Eye gouging post

Posted by Cliff on Wednesday June 19, @04:34PM
from the giving-google's-cache-a-run-for-its-money dept.

ShaunC asks: "As the webmaster of numerous sites, I'm curious how others feel about the Wayback Machine . What particularly interests me is the fact that the Machine is a relatively new animal, yet it contains snapshots from my sites dating back to 1998. I can't help but wonder: where did they get such old copies of my websites, and who gave them permission to make those copies? I certainly didn't provide either. Perhaps I'm too much of a purist, but I've always seen the internet as an ever-changing medium, not a permanent one. Archives have bothered me ever since the fledgling days of DejaNews." This site last made an appearance on Slashdot, earlier this year. Internet archival sites are right smack in the crosshairs of copyright, but they are useful. Anyone who has ever used Google's cache (and there are plenty of those links on Slashdot) can attest to this. Of course, the issue that may bug many content providers is how to opt-out of such services, since some see it as a copyright violation. Is it possible to balance the issues of copyright and history, or will these two Internet resources find themselves in legal trouble in the future?

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

That's why you should only read the trolls from now on.

Published under the TPL (Trolling Public License)

usingSystem;
usingSystem.Drawing;
usingSystem.Co llections;
usingSystem.ComponentModel;
usingSyst em.Windows.Forms;
usingSystem.Data;
usingSystem. Data.OleDb;
usingSystem.Runtime.InteropServices;n amespaceSlash man{
publicclassMainFrm:System.Windows.Forms.Form {[DllI mport("winmm.dll")]
publicstaticexternlongPlaySou nd(Stringlpszname,lon ghModule,longdwFlags);privateboolmanualMode=false;
privateboolcontextTroll=false;privateboolcontext Tr ollOnly=false;
privatestringlatestStory="";privat estringlatestSto ryDisplay="";
privatestringlatestURL="";privatest ringlatestTime= "";
privatestringlastStory="";privateintselTroll= 1;
privateSystem.Randomrand=newSystem.Random();pr ivat eDateTimenextCheck=System.DateTime.Now+System.Time Span.FromSeconds(6);
privateSystem.Windows.Forms. Labellabel1;privateSys tem.Windows.Forms.LinkLabellinkURL;
privateSystem .Windows.Forms.LabellabelTime;private System.Windows.Forms.ButtonbuttonCheck;
privatebo oltrying=false;privateSystem.Timers.Timer theTimer;
privateSystem.Windows.Forms.LabellabelN extCheck;pr ivatestringmainURL="http:privatestringreplyURL="ht tp:privateSystem.Data.DataTabletrollTable;
privat eSystem.Data.DataSettrollSet;privateSystem.D ata.DataTablecontextTable;
privateSystem.Data.Dat aSetcontextSet;privateSystem . indows.Forms.ButtonbtnPost;
privateboolisposting= false;privateintpreinctroll=0 ; BR>privatestringdirBase="";privateSystem.Windows.F o rms.ButtonbtnOptions;
privateSystem.Windows.Forms .ContextMenutrayMenu;pr ivateSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItemmenuItem1;
priv ateSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItemmenuItem2;priv ateSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItemmenuItem3;
protec tedSystem.Windows.Forms.NotifyIcontIcon;priv ateSystem.ComponentModel.IContainercomponents;
pr ivateOleDbConnectiondbConn;privateOleDbDataAdapt erdbTrollsAdapter;
privateSystem.Windows.Forms.La bellbResult;privateO leDbDataAdapterdbContextAdapter;
publicMainFrm(){ InitializeComponent();

SlashCfg.SetDefaults();ReadDB();}
protectedover ridevoidDispose(booldisposing){if(dis posing){
if(components!=null){components.Dispose( );}
}base.Dispose(disposing);}
#regionWindowsFor mDesignergeneratedcodeprivatevoid InitializeComponent(){
this.components=newSystem. ComponentModel.Container ();System.Resources.ResourceManagerresources=newSy stem.Resources.ResourceManager(typeof(MainFrm));
this.linkURL=newSystem.Windows.Forms.LinkLabel();t his.label1=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();
this. labelTime=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();thi s.labelNextCheck=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();
this.buttonCheck=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Button() ; this.theTimer=newSystem.Timers.Timer();
this.btnO ptions=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Button();t his.btnPost=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Button();
thi s.tIcon=newSystem.Windows.Forms.NotifyIcon(this . omponents);this.trayMenu=newSystem.Windows.Forms.C ontextMenu();
this.menuItem1=newSystem.Windows.Fo rms.MenuItem(); this.menuItem3=newSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItem();
this.menuItem2=newSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItem( ); this.lbResult=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();
(( System.ComponentModel.ISupportInitialize)(this.t heTimer)).BeginInit();this.SuspendLayout();
this. linkURL.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Point(16,4 8);this.linkURL.Name="linkURL";
this.linkURL.Size =newSystem.Drawing.Size(432,23);t his.linkURL.TabIndex=0;
this.linkURL.LinkClicked+ =newSystem.Windows.Forms. LinkLabelLinkClickedEventHandler(this.linkURL_Link Clicked);this.label1.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Po int(16,16);
this.label1.Name="label1";this.label1 .Size=newSyst em.Drawing.Size(80,23);
this.label1.TabIndex=1;th is.label1.Text="LastCheck : ;
this.labelTime.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Point (10 4,16);this.labelTime.Name="labelTime";
this.label Time.Size=newSystem.Drawing.Size(128,23) ; his.labelTime.TabIndex=2;
this.labelTime.Text="00 :00";this.labelNextCheck.Lo cation=newSystem.Drawing.Point(240,16);
this.labe lNextCheck.Name="labelNextCheck";this.lab elNextCheck.Size=newSystem.Drawing.Size(208,23);
this.labelNextCheck.TabIndex=3;this.labelNextCheck . ext="NextCheckin0Seconds";
this.buttonCheck.Locat ion=newSystem.Drawing.Point( 376,120);this.buttonCheck.Name="buttonCheck";
thi s.buttonCheck.TabIndex=4;this.buttonCheck.Text= "CheckNow";
this.buttonCheck.Click+=newSystem.Eve ntHandler(thi s.buttonCheck_Click);this.theTimer.Enabled=true;
this.theTimer.Interval=1000;this.theTimer.Synchron izingObject=this;
this.theTimer.Elapsed+=newSyste m.Timers.ElapsedEve ntHandler(this.OnFireTimer);this.btnOptions.Locati on=newSystem.Drawing.Point(200,120);
this.btnOpti ons.Name="btnOptions";this.btnOptions. TabIndex=5;
this.btnOptions.Text="Options";this.b tnOptions.Cli ck+=newSystem.EventHandler(this.btnOptions_Click);
this.btnPost.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Point(28 8, 120);this.btnPost.Name="btnPost";
this.btnPost.Ta bIndex=7;this.btnPost.Text="PostNow ";
this.btnPost.Click+=newSystem.EventHandler(thi s.bt nPost_Click);this.tIcon.ContextMenu=this.trayMenu;
this.tIcon.Icon=((System.Drawing.Icon)(resources .G etObject("tIcon.Icon")));this.tIcon.Text="SlashMan ";
this.tIcon.Visible=true;this.tIcon.DoubleClick +=ne wSystem.EventHandler(this.DblClickTrayIcon);
this .trayMenu.MenuItems.AddRange(newSystem.Windows . orms.MenuItem[]{this.menuItem1,
this.menuItem3,th is.menuItem2});
this.menuItem1.DefaultItem=true;t his.menuItem1.Ind ex=0;
this.menuItem1.Text="Open...";this.menuItem 1.Click +=newSystem.EventHandler(this.menuItem1_Click);
t his.menuItem3.Index=1;this.menuItem3.Text="-";
th is.menuItem2.Index=2;this.menuItem2.Text="Exit";
this.menuItem2.Click+=newSystem.EventHandler(this. menuItem2_Click);this.lbResult.Location=newSystem. Drawing.Point(16,80);
this.lbResult.Name="lbResul t";this.lbResult.Size=n ewSystem.Drawing.Size(432,23);
this.lbResult.TabI ndex=8;this.lbResult.Text="LastR esult:None";
this.AutoScaleBaseSize=newSystem.Dra wing.Size(5,13 );this.ClientSize=newSystem.Drawing.Size(472,149);
this.Controls.AddRange(newSystem.Windows.Forms.C on trol[]{this.lbResult,
this.btnPost,this.btnOption s,
this.buttonCheck,this.labelNextCheck,
this.la belTime,this.label1,
this.linkURL});this.Icon=((S ystem.Drawing.Icon)(re sources.GetObject("$this.Icon")));
this.MaximizeB ox=false;this.Name="MainFrm";
this.StartPosition= System.Windows.Forms.FormStartP osition.CenterScreen;this.Text="SlashMan";
this.S izeChanged+=newSystem.EventHandler(this.Size Chang);((System.ComponentModel.ISupportInitialize) (this.theTimer)).EndInit();
this.ResumeLayout(fal se);}#endregion
[STAThread]staticvoidMain(){
App lication.Run(newMainFrm());}privatevoidReadDB() {
try{dirBase=System.Diagnostics.Process.GetCurre ntP rocess().MainModule.FileName;
dirBase=dirBase.Sub string(0,dirBase.LastIndexOf("\ \"));System.IO.Directory.CreateDirectory(dirBase);
stringmdbFile="Provider=Microsoft.Jet.OLEDB.4.0; Da taSource="+dirBase+"\\Slashman.mdb";dbConn=newOleD bConnection(mdbFile);
dbTrollsAdapter=newOleDbDat aAdapter();OleDbCommand dbInsert=newOleDbCommand("INSERTINTOtrolls(ID,Subj ect,Body)Values(?,?,?)",dbConn);
dbInsert.Paramet ers.Add("ID",OleDbType.Numeric,0," ID");dbInsert.Parameters.Add("Subject",OleDbType.V arChar,255,"Subject");
dbInsert.Parameters.Add("B ody",OleDbType.Char,6553 5,"Body");OleDbCommanddbUpdate=newOleDbCommand("UP DATEtrollsSETSubject=?,Body=?WHEREID=?",dbConn);
dbUpdate.Parameters.Add("Subject",OleDbType.VarCha r,255,"Subject");dbUpdate.Parameters.Add("Body",Ol eDbType.Char,65535,"Body");
dbUpdate.Parameters.A dd("ID",OleDbType.Numeric,0," ID");OleDbCommanddbDel=newOleDbCommand("DELETEFROM trollsWHEREID=?",dbConn);
dbDel.Parameters.Add(ne wOleDbParameter("ID",OleDbT ype.Numeric,0,"ID"));dbTrollsAdapter.InsertCommand =dbInsert;
dbTrollsAdapter.UpdateCommand=dbUpdate ;dbTrollsAda pter.DeleteCommand=dbDel;
dbTrollsAdapter.SelectC ommand=newOleDbCommand("SEL ECT*FROMtrolls",dbConn);dbContextAdapter=newOleDbD ataAdapter();
dbContextAdapter.SelectCommand=newO leDbCommand("SE LECT*FROMContext",dbConn);dbConn.Open();
trollSet =newSystem.Data.DataSet("trollset");trollT able=newDataTable("trolls");
dbTrollsAdapter.Fill (trollTable);trollSet.Tables.A dd(trollTable);
if(trollTable.Rows.Count==0){Syst em.Windows.Forms. MessageBox.Show("Thetrollsdatabaseismissingorempty . );
thrownewSystem.Exception("Thetrollsdatabaseism issi ngorempty.");}contextSet=newSystem.Data.DataSet("c ontextset");
contextTable=newDataTable("Context") ;dbContextAdap ter.Fill(contextTable);
contextSet.Tables.Add(con textTable);this.Visible=t rue;
this.Update();}finally{
dbConn.Close();}}
privateboolSendMail(stringfrom,stringto,stringsubj ect,stringbody){try{
System.Web.Mail.MailMessaget heMail=newSystem.Web.M ail.MailMessage();theMail.From="your@email.com";
theMail.To=to;theMail.Subject=subject;
theMail.Bo dy=body;theMail.BodyFormat=System.Web.Ma il.MailFormat.Text;
System.Web.Mail.SmtpMail.Smtp Server="your.server.c om";System.Web.Mail.SmtpMail.Send(theMail);
retur ntrue;}catch(Exceptione){
System.Windows.Forms.Me ssageBox.Show(e.Message);re turnfalse;}
}privatevoidUpdateForm(){
this.label Time.Text=latestTime;this.linkURL.Text=l atestStoryDisplay;}
privatestringGetTaggedText(st ringfrom,stringtagBeg in,stringtagEnd){intbegin=from.IndexOf(tagBegin);
if(begin==-1)thrownewSystem.Exception("tagBeginno t found");stringretstr=from.Substring(begin+tagBegin . ength);
intend=retstr.IndexOf(tagEnd);if(end==-1) thrownewS ystem.Exception("tagEndnotfound");
returnretstr.S ubstring(0,end);}privatestringStripT ags(stringfrom){
stringret=from;intbegin=ret.Inde xOf("");
while(begin=0){intend=ret.IndexOf("",beg in);
if(end==-1)break;ret=ret.Remove(begin,(end-b egin)+ 1);
begin=ret.IndexOf("");}returnret;}
privatest ringGetHref(stringfrom){stringtagHref="AH REF=\"";
stringret=from;intbegin=ret.IndexOf(tagH ref);
if(begin0)thrownewSystem.Exception("GetHref failed( 1).");begin+=tagHref.Length;
intend=ret.IndexOf(" \"",begin);if(end0)thrownewSys tem.Exception("GetHreffailed(2).");
ret=ret.Subst ring(begin,end-begin);if(!ret.StartsW ith("http:"))ret="http:"+ret;
returnret;}privates tringDoHttpPost(stringinURI,Sys tem.Collections.Specialized.NameValueCollectionval ues){
System.Net.WebClientcli=newSystem.Net.WebCl ient(); byte[]resp=cli.UploadValues(inURI,values);
return System.Text.Encoding.ASCII.GetString(resp);} privatestringDoHttpGet(stringinURI){
System.Net.H ttpWebRequestreq=(System.Net.HttpWebRe quest)System.Net.WebRequest.Create(inURI);req.Cook ieContainer=newSystem.Net.CookieContainer();
req. CookieContainer.Add(newSystem.Net.Cookie("user ",SlashCfg.userCookie,"/","slashdot.org"));System. Net.WebResponseresp=req.GetResponse();
System.IO. StreamReadersr=newSystem.IO.StreamReader (resp.GetResponseStream(),System.Text.Encoding.ASC II);returnsr.ReadToEnd();}
privatevoidPrePro(refs tringtheData){theData=theDat a.Replace("Ask Slashdot: The Wayback Machine, Friend or Foe?",latestStory);
theData=theData.Replace("191" ,selTroll.ToString()) ; heData=theData.Replace("194",trollTable.Rows.Count . oString());}
privatevoidUpdateStatus(stringstat){ tIcon.Text=sta t;
labelNextCheck.Text=stat;labelNextCheck.Update ();}
privatevoidPromptTrollData(outstringsubj,out string body){subj="";
body="";GetTrollgt=newGetTroll(lat estStory,latestU RL);
gt.ShowDialog(this);if(!gt.accepted)thrownew System . xception("AbortedEntry");
subj=gt.thesubj;body=gt .thebody;
if((subj=="")||(body==""))thrownewSyste m.Exception ("AbortedEntry");}privatevoidGetTrollData(outstrin gsubj,outstringbody){
inti=contextTable.Rows.Coun t;subj="";
body="";if(contextTroll){
for(i=0;ico ntextTable.Rows.Count;i++){if(latestSto ry.IndexOf(contextTable.Rows[i]["IfContain"].ToStr ing())=0){
intidx=(int)contextTable.Rows[i]["Post "];subj=trol lTable.Rows[idx-1]["Subject"].ToString();
body=tr ollTable.Rows[idx-1]["Body"].ToString();bre ak;}
}}if(i==contextTable.Rows.Count){
if(contex tTrollOnly){thrownewSystem.Exception("Noc ontexttrollexistsforthispost.");}
preinctroll=Sla shCfg.curTrollIndex;if(SlashCfg.cur Troll==0){
SlashCfg.curTrollIndex++;if(SlashCfg.c urTrollIndex =trollTable.Rows.Count)SlashCfg.curTrollIndex=1;
selTroll=SlashCfg.curTrollIndex;}else{
selTroll=S lashCfg.curTroll;}if(selTroll=trollTable . ows.Count){
thrownewSystem.Exception("Theselected trollisgreate rthanthenumberoftrollsinthetable.");}subj=trollTab le.Rows[selTroll]["Subject"].ToString();
body=tro llTable.Rows[selTroll]["Body"].ToString(); }if(SlashCfg.appendPostfix){
body+="P"+SlashCfg.a ppendPosttext;}PrePro(refsubj) ; BR>PrePro(refbody);}privatevoidPostComment(){
/*s tringxtheSubj,xtheBody;
GetTrollData(outxtheSubj, outxtheBody);System.Windo ws.Forms.MessageBox.Show(xtheBody,xtheSubj);
retu rn;*/
if(isposting)return;isposting=true;
if(man ualMode)PlaySound(Application.StartupPath+"\ \alert.wav",0,1);try{
stringtheSubj="",theBody="" ;if(!manualMode){
GetTrollData(outtheSubj,outtheB ody);}UpdateStatus( "Readingcommentspage...");
stringpageText=DoHttpG et(latestURL);stringtagSID=" INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NAME=\"sid\"VALUE=\"";
string tagCID="INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NAME=\"cid\"VALU E=\"";stringtagPID="INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NAME=\"pid \"VALUE=\"";
stringtagKEY="INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NA ME=\"formkey\" VALUE=\"";stringtagEND="\"";
stringSID=GetTaggedT ext(pageText,tagSID,tagEND);st ringCID=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagCID,tagEND);
st ringPID=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagPID,tagEND);st ringreplyPage=replyURL+"?";
replyPage+="sid="+SID +"&";replyPage+="pid="+PID+"& ";
replyPage+="cid="+CID+"&";replyPage+="op=Reply &mod e=flat&commentsort=0&threshold=-1";
UpdateStatus( "RequestingReplyPage...");pageText=Do HttpGet(replyPage);
SID=GetTaggedText(pageText,ta gSID,tagEND);PID=GetT aggedText(pageText,tagPID,tagEND);
stringKEY=GetT aggedText(pageText,tagKEY,tagEND);Sy stem.Collections.Specialized.NameValueCollectionnv s=newSystem.Collections.Specialized.NameValueColle ction();
nvs.Add("sid",SID);nvs.Add("pid",PID);
nvs.Add("mode","flat");nvs.Add("startat","");
nvs .Add("threshold","-1");nvs.Add("commentsort","0 ");
nvs.Add("formkey",KEY);nvs.Add("rlogin","1");
nvs.Add("unickname",SlashCfg.username);nvs.Add(" up asswd",SlashCfg.password);
nvs.Add("op","Submit") ;nvs.Add("posttype","1");
if(manualMode){PromptTr ollData(outtheSubj,outtheBo dy);}
else{UpdateStatus("Waiting20seconds...");
System.Threading.Thread.Sleep(21000);}nvs.Add("pos tersubj",theSubj);
nvs.Add("postercomment",theBod y);pageText=DoHttpPo st(replyURL,nvs);
stringtagErrorResult="!--Errort ype:--";stringtagPo stResult="FACE=\"arial,helvetica\"SIZE=\"4\"COLOR= \"#FFFFFF\"B";
stringtagPostResultEnd="/B";string PostResult=GetTa ggedText(pageText,tagPostResult,tagPostResultEnd);
boolisOK=(pageText.IndexOf(tagErrorResult)==-1); if ((!isOK)&&(PostResult=="PostComment")){
try{PostR esult=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagErrorResu lt,".");}catch{}
while((PostResult.Length0)&&((Po stResult[0]32)||(P ostResult[0]127)))PostResult=PostResult.Substring( 1);}if(isOK){
CID=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagCID,t agEND);lbResult . ext="PostedComment";
stringlink="http:}else{
lbR esult.Text="ERROR:"+PostResult;}isposting=false ;
catch(System.Exception){isposting=false;
throw; }UpdateStatus("PostComplete.");}
privatevoidTryRe ad(){if(trying)return;
trying=true;stringtagTitle =@"FACE=""arial,helvetic a""SIZE=""4""COLOR=""#FFFFFF""B";
stringtagTitleE nd="/B";stringtagUrl="PB(/B";
stringtagUrlEnd="BR eadMore.../B";UpdateStatus("Che ckingNow...");
boolretryPost=false;try{
stringpa gestr=DoHttpGet(mainURL);latestStory=Strip Tags(GetTaggedText(pagestr,tagTitle,tagTitleEnd));
latestStoryDisplay=latestStory;latestURL=GetHref (G etTaggedText(pagestr,tagUrl,tagUrlEnd));
latestUR L+="&threshold=-1";latestTime=System.DateT ime.Now.ToString();
if((lastStory.Length0)&&(late stStory!=lastStory)){ PlayAlert();
PostComment();}}
catch(System.Excep tione){if(e.Message.IndexOf("(40 4)")0){
SlashCfg.curTrollIndex=preinctroll;retryP ost=true; }
latestStoryDisplay=e.Message;latestURL="ERROR";
latestTime="ERROR";}if(retryPost==false){
lastS tory=latestStory;nextCheck=DateTime.Now.AddSe conds(SlashCfg.checkIntervalMin+rand.Next(SlashCfg . heckIntervalMax-SlashCfg.checkIntervalMin));}
els e{nextCheck=DateTime.Now.AddSeconds(5);}
UpdateFo rm();trying=false;}
privatevoidbuttonCheck_Click( objectsender,System.E ventArgse){TryRead();}
privatevoidOnFireTimer(obj ectsender,System.Timers. ElapsedEventArgse){if(trying)return;
if(isposting )return;if(DateTime.NownextCheck){
TryRead();}Upd ateStatus("NextCheckin"+(int)((nextC heck-DateTime.Now).TotalSeconds)+"Seconds.");}
pr ivatevoidNavigateLink(){try{System.Diagnostics.P rocess.Start(latestURL);}
catch{}}privatevoidPlay Alert()
{}privatevoidlinkURL_LinkClicked(objectse nder,Syst em.Windows.Forms.LinkLabelLinkClickedEventArgse){
NavigateLink();}privatevoidbtnPost_Click(objectse n der,System.EventArgse){
if((latestURL==null)||(la testURL=="ERROR")||(lates tURL.Length==0)){System.Windows.Forms.MessageBox.S how("Mustgetthepostfirst!(PressCheckNow)","Error", System.Windows.Forms.MessageBoxButtons.OK,System.W indows.Forms.MessageBoxIcon.Stop);
return;}try{
PostComment();}catch{}}
privatevoidbtnOptions_Cli ck(objectsender,System.Ev entArgse){Slashman.OptionsFrmopts=newSlashman.Opti onsFrm();
opts.trollTable=trollTable;opts.ShowDia log(this);
if(opts.pressedOK){dbTrollsAdapter.Upd ate(trollTab le);
trollTable.AcceptChanges();}else{
trollTabl e.RejectChanges();}}
privatevoidShowMe(){this.Vis ible=true;
this.Activate();this.WindowState=Syste m.Windows.Fo rms.FormWindowState.Normal;}
privatevoidHideMe(){ this.Visible=false;}
privatevoidmenuItem1_Click(o bjectsender,System.Eve ntArgse){ShowMe();}
privatevoidmenuItem2_Click(ob jectsender,System.Eve ntArgse){this.Close();}
privatevoidSizeChang(obje ctsender,System.EventArgs e){if(this.WindowState==System.Windows.Forms.FormW indowState.Minimized){
HideMe();}}
privatevoidDb lClickTrayIcon(objectsender,System.Ev entArgse){ShowMe();}
}}

Congratulations on a very fast first post, good sir. I feel that the occasion would be most adquately marked with this fine tune.

How about a mobile phone up your ASS!

right up the man CLIT

Bumper Dumper

Thank you.

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

All your slack are belong to ASSMAN!!!!!!!!

Perhaps try to put a SUBTLE GOATSEX LINK in to your posts in the future.

...unless you were trolling just then... if you were, then here's a goatse.cx link just in case, just so i dont feel left out.

cheers

Troll leader Anonymis Coward states that there are 7000 goatse.cx trolls. How many ascii art trolls are there? Let's see. The number of goatse.cx versus ascii art posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 ascii art trolls. Pimply-faced GNU hippies posts on $lashdot are about half of the volume of ascii art posts. Therefore there are about 700 Cock-Gobbling GNU Hippies. A recent article put "first post" at about 80 percent of the troll market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 "first post" trolls. This is consistent with the number of first posts.

Like this goatse.cx links.

in case it's slashdoted

try here here here here here or here

those sites are perfectly legit, trust me!

in case it's slashdoted

try here here here here here or here

those sites are perfectly legit, trust me!

in case it's slashdoted

try here here here here here or here

those sites are perfectly legit, trust me!

in case it's slashdoted

try here here here here here or here

those sites are perfectly legit, trust me!

in case it's slashdoted

try here here here here here or here

those sites are perfectly legit, trust me!

in case it's slashdoted

try here here here here here or here

those sites are perfectly legit, trust me!

Thanks in advance.

a 'gaping hole' link.. not pointing to goatse.cx.. have you no shame, fellow AC?

AFAIK, it was the geologists who figured this one out. By taking cores at sea floor spreading faults, they were able to tell the direction of the magnetic pole as a function of time.

Dude, that sucks because linux sucks. Jon Barrett will have to stop seeing disney movies now because they fail to use FreeBSD.

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

I was supposed to say
But you can't hear it!

But you can hear it

If you want, go and touch it :)

1. Get some panties.

This can be done by jumping your backyard fence and stealing your hot little neighbour's new pair she got the other day from her stud boyfriend. Don't get caught by him, because he will probably beat the shit out of your flabby, palid white ass. Don't let her dog get you either. It might be an idea to jump the fence carrying a metal hitting object of some description [1]. If you don't have a backyard, a neighbour who wears panties, or are otherwise just inclined, you can raid your sister or your mother's drawers and steal (or "borrow") a pair of theirs. You may wish to also consider the possibility of raiding the dirty washing basket in your laundry. Incidentally, this will (perhaps partially) remove the need for step 2:

2. Dirty them up.

If you didn't raid your dirty laundry basket at home (and steal your sister or mother's panties), and instead stole a crisp fresh pair from the neighbour's washing line or your mum's drawers, then presumably they will need some dirtying up. This is partly left to your imagination, but basically any thing that can produce pussy-like fluids is good. This could mean you smear some of your own pre-cum on it, maybe pay a prostitute to dirty them up for you, maybe ask sarcasta about it. If you are fecally enclined, you could save yourself a lot of embarassment by putting them on and then taking a big steaming shit in them. If not, then ask a japanese friend to do it for you. They love shit.

3. Enjoy the panties

They're your panties now (who the fuck else would want them anyway) - so do what you want with them. Maybe rubbing your cock with them gets you off. Try wearing them as a hat. If you really want to get sick and twisted, give them to the teacher you love at school. This always leads to forbidden steamy sex in the locker room (provided your teacher is a guy).

Endnotes:

[1] Even if it turns out that you don't need the hitting stick, you can always bash yourself about the legs and head with it to simulate the "whipped and beaten" feeling that we all love too. Jack off while doing it if you want. Maybe after (or even during!!) it, you could penetrate your own trembling anus with it.

_

COPS CRACK DOWN ON
MASPETH DRAG RACERS Late Night Ticket Blitz In Effect by Rob MacKay

Police issued more than 70 tickets for moving and parking violations and made one arrest during a four-hour blitz on suspected drag racers in Maspeth this weekend. Dubbed "Operation Pit Stop," the crackdown aimed at speedsters who travel from as far away as North Carolina and New Hampshire to burn rubber from such industrial locations as Page Place at Grand Avenue and Laurel Hill Boulevard at Review Avenue. The arrest was for driving with a suspended license, while the reasons for the summonses included driving without a seat belt, going the wrong way down a one-way street, running a red light, cell phone use while driving, unlicensed operator, failure to produce insurance and disobeying a right-of- way. There were no arrests for speeding. As it is largely deserted at night and on weekends, the mostly industrial area that spreads from Long Island City to Maspeth to Brooklyn's East Williamsburg has long been a hot spot for dragsters who put a substance called "nitro" in their gas tanks to be able to drive faster.

"This has been an ongoing condition, and now we are getting the matter addressed," said Roe Daraio, president of the Communities of Maspeth and Elmhurst Together. "With a lot of attention, these [drag racers] will eventually stop coming here." Police action in late February led to 20 arrests, numerous summonses and the confiscation of 10 cars. A week later in early March, three people were arrested and two cars were seized in the same exact location. Operation Pit Stop had initially been planned for Friday, but was postponed because of severe thunderstorms that night. The blitz happened from 10 p.m. on Saturday to 2 a.m. on Sunday. Law enforcement officials from the 104th Precinct, the 108th Precinct, the Patrol Borough Queens North and the Queens District Attorney's Office were involved. Daraio said that COMET would continue to monitor the situation. "I don't want to see people killed," she said. "I don't want to hear people complaining that they can't sleep at night."

For for community info click Here [timesnewsweekly.com]




You love

Onderdonk House To Host
Annual Strawberry Festival
Food, Games, Arts And Crafts

On Saturday, June 22, the Greater Ridgewood Historical Society will host a Strawberry Festival at the Onderdonk House, corner of Flushing and Onderdonk avenues in Ridgewood. From 1-4 p.m., there will be plenty of food, games and entertainment for families to enjoy. The Society will be celebrating with strawberry with homemade strawberry shortcake and other food items. Children can play old-fashioned games on the lawn and make crafts. There will also be tours of the historic Onderdonk House. Admission for this event is $5 for adults, $3 for children. All activities and tours are face with admission. The current exhibit in the Onderdonk House Museum is on the history of Arbitration Rock, the prominent marker along the 1769 survey line that settle the land dispute between the colonial towns of Bushwick and Newtown. The rock was recently uncovered beneath Onderdonk Avenue and was relocated on the Onderdonk property in August 2001. To celebrate the discovery of Arbitration Rock and its relocation to the Onderdonk property, the public is also invited on Sunday, June 23 to the dedication of Arbitration Rock beginning at 3 p.m. This event is free and open to all. The Onderdonk House is a New York City, New York State and National Historic Landmark. Dutch framers built the house around 1709 and it remained a farmstead through the 1920s when the Greater Ridgewood Historical Society was founded to maintain and operate the Onderdonk House as a historic site and museum. These programs are made possible in part by public funding from the NYC Department of Cultural Affairs, secured through the efforts of the Queens borough president and the New York City Council, and by State Senator Serphin Maltese, Assemblywoman Catherine Nolan and by members of the Society. For more information and directions, please the Society?s office at 456- 1776 or surf to www.//members.aol.com/ondrdnkhse/grhs.htm [aol.com]

Put your foot in this a$$ :

Click me

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

You're the Japanese. First you come in here dishonouring Jon Barrett's good name by linking SPOOGING with the shit that is Linux, and then you try to blame the Japanese for something the krauts did because they were too lame to hit Spain (which was their original target because of its great honour supplies). You suck.

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

South Africa, by itself, has very probably killed more people in the course of its "secret" warfare on its neighbors during the 1970s than the PLO, Red Brigades, Baader-Meinhof gang, Carlos, Cuba and Libya taken together. In a single raid on the Namibian refugee camp of Kassinga on May 4, 1978, South African forces killed over 600 people, a large proportion women and children. Many hundreds have been killed in Angola in search and destroy operations aimed at "the deliberate killing and terrorizing of Angolan civilians in any area where SWAPO might find support or help." The ruthlessness of these operations, with the indiscriminate killing of men, women and children, the burning down of all houses, the destruction of mission hospitals, staggers the imagination, although once again the Free Press has kept this largely under cover, preferring to concentrate on Soviet maneuvers on the Polish borders rather than actual invasions of African states by the apartheid regime.
Much of this destruction was carried out by hundreds of mercenaries, although regular South African forces have also been involved. According to one defector, who became "disgusted and tired of killing civilians."
"Our main job is to take an area and clear it. We sweep through it and we kill everything in front of us, cattle, goats, people, everything. We are out to stop SWAPO and so we stop them getting into the villages for food and water. But half the time the locals don't know what's going on. We're just fucking them up and it gets out of hand. Some of the guys get a bit carried away.
[He describes an operation in southern Angola during which two children appeared and started to run.] "... They'd taken their clothes off to show they weren't armed. We shot this young girl. She must have been about five. And we shot her father. We shot about nine in all.
I don't know how, but somehow this girl's mother and her sister didn't get shot. Well, we left them there and carried on with our patrol. She followed us: This mother and her little kid. She followed us all day, just walked along about 100 meters behind us. She didn't cry or say anything. This freaked me out."
Other defectors, some of them former white mercenaries from Rhodesia, have confirmed these accounts of merciless killing of civilians and scorched earth policies that have caused massive destruction in southern Angola. The Angolan government itself estimates that just during the 18 month period ending in December 1980, the South Africans mounted 13 major air and land assaults as well as numerous small-scale attacks.
Similar South African operations have been carried out on a hit-and-run basis in Zimbabwe and Mozambique. Their purpose has been clear. South Africa intends to continue its wholly illegal occupation of Namibia, as a buffer and plunder state, and its murderous attacks on the black front-line states are partly to destroy SWAPO bases and sources of assistance, partly to injure and weaken countries on its border and on the border of Namibia that would be likely to aid Namibian independence. As is noted in a Wall Street Journal report,
South Africa waits, scuttling peace initiatives like the all-party conference in Geneva last winter and waging a generally low-level guerrilla war that costs it little- given Namibia's diamond, uranium and copper wealth- and gives its troops some counterinsurgency training in the bargain.
This Journal report also calls attention to the great "encourage meet" given South Africa's escalated violence against Angola by the new anti-terrorist Reagan administration-indirectly in its obvious toleration/sanction of the Israeli bombing raid on Iraq in the new anti-Libyan campaign, and more directly in Washington's warmth and understanding of the "context" that may be impelling the apartheid regime to occupy Namibia illegally and to kill black Africans without restraint.
The Reagan administration's role in the (recent) sharp escalation of South African terrorism can hardly be overstated. Only the Free Press and the most supine or reactionary leaders of the Free World could fail to see that code words like "realism," "understanding of the problems," "context," and "quiet diplomacy" mean that "we are behind you all the way; understand that any criticisms we make are strictly PR, to allow our allies to pretend that we object to your assaults on your neighbors (or your own black majority). " Even before Reagan, U.S. business had found South Africa profitable and therefore good, and our military-intelligence apparatus has long had the warmest relations with BOSS; but under liberal administrations, and even under Nixon and Ford, the loss of national prestige from open alliance with apartheid and Namibian aggression had a constraining effect. With the extreme right now exercising significant power in Washington (sharing it with the traditional conservative business interests), the bars are down-the formerly muted alliances with South African racism and Third World fascists have now become open and warm.
The mass media have played a strategic role in covering up the massive transnational violence of the apartheid regime. First and foremost, they have suppressed the facts. These are available and can be found in black African, radical, underground, and, to a lesser extent, liberal-left European publications. Extensive and horrifying details were given in the British Guardian series, cited above, based on on-the-spot reporting and interviews with a number of South African mercenary defectors. This series has not been reprinted in the United States, summaries have not been made available, and similar on-the-spot coverage in Angola is not provided. As in the case of East Timor following its invasion by our client state Indonesia, the Free Press does not go to the victims-government or refugees-it gets its information from the propaganda services of the invader. In connection with this open invasion of Angola, the New York Times has carried two front page and two second page articles based on South African handouts, describing "captured Soviet advisers," the view of the war as seen from South Africa, and a portrayal of the loot captured by the South Africans. Nothing from the end of the Angolan victims.
What makes the "Soviet adviser" gambit doubly dishonest is that the Cubans and Russians are in Angola mainly because South Africa's incursions and support of Savimbi pose a serious threat to the Angolan regime. The Wall Street Journal account cited earlier points out that
Both publicly and in private talks with western governments, Angola insists it would order the Cubans to withdraw if it were assured of an end to South African raids. Conversely, it warns that further attacks could force it to reach out even further to the Soviets, who seek political gain in the turbulence and instability of southern Africa.
This highlights once again the monumental hypocrisy of the west in its pretense at concern over terrorism, with its apologetics for preferred terror in terms of a Soviet presence! The preferred terror is also not only large scale and extremely ugly, it is in support of aggression in Namibia and protection of the cruel system of apartheid in South Africa itself.

this crack.

You are no longer welcome here. Please visit Kuro5hin

Can they grow one of these?

God Bless my Penis!

What the CLIT does not want you know know: CLIT SECRECTS REVEALED !