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Mobile Phone in Your Teeth!
thumbtack writes "News.com is running a story that reports that British researchers claim to have developed an implant that could be placed in a tooth and used as a mobile phone. According to the article, the sound would be transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, and could be listened too anytime anywhere, with complete privacy." This is awesome. Course it would kinda suck if your phone rang when you were asleep.
To dial up someone you don't like...while in the dentist's chair getting a tooth drilled...
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
Yeah, that'd be interesting...people walking around talking to the voices in their heads...and you'd never know if they were insane or just had an implant. Maybe more psychos would go undetected by claiming that they had one. :)
if(!cool) exit(-1);
Specially when it's been announced today that mobile phones pose a health risk.
Upgrading to the newest version would be a pain in the ass^Wmouth.
Michael Loves Me!
Traditional hearing aids are simply microphones and speakers to make the noise louder. They work fine for some people, but this type of technology bypasses the eardrum altogether, hinting at the possibility of sending sound to some who otherwise wouldn't be able to hear at all.
I don't know much about this or related technologies. Is there any substance to my gussing above?
Now we all can get our daily shot of radiation! Something tells me it'll be a bit harder to wrap tin foil around the antenna of this phone though.
People say the government planted transmitters in their teeth were called crazy.
Fight Spammers!
Actually any lucky (or not-so-lucky) high school physics student with a crazy professor would have had tried the "bite a electric motor connecting to a radio to hear classic rock through you teech" deal. (i did, anyway)
/. reader do decide to try this -- make sure to disinfect the motor and put something soft on the shaft where you will be biting -- otherwise it will buzz)
(you can try this at home too)
it is a horribly creepy feeling though -- hearing music through your jaws.
(if any
with that said -- i would not want to have a cell phone in there.
My life in the land of the rising sun.
I thought holding the antenna too close to your head with a normal cell phone increased your exposure. Having the phone in your tooth sounds like really asking for it. Maybe the tooth phone could do double duty though. If your food has gotten cold, the phone microwaves could re-heat it while you're chewing.
But how will I browse the web if the phone is in my tooth? I guess I'll have to carry a mirror or something.
Excellent, combine phone implants with the ability to rapidly triangulate any cell phone, and you've got embedded tracking of the citizenry. Weeeee, sign me up! I'm not with Al Qaeda so I shouldn't have any reason to hide, right?
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You see someone getting hauled out the door in a nice white backwards-sleeve jacket, screaming "I'm telling you the truth! I have a cell phone in my teeth! They just installed it yesterday!"
Would you have to use your tongue to dial it, though?
-----
Let "them" know you're not a terrorist!
Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
This is really interesting. Lots of uses as we can all imagine. What I find most interesting is that this "toothPhone" is just a small step away from Jane in Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
-- The Doctor, "Doctor
Can anyone say Shadowrun?
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -- Plato (427?-347? BC)
No wonder a British engineer figured this out. They've got enough empty tooth cavities anyway..
New Nokia T1, smallest cellular phone ever! Just stick this fan-cooled battery in your cheek so it won't burn your skin, change it every day, and talk gingivitis away!
And just imagine the new acronyms they'd be coming out with. Portable Lightweight Audible Query Using Electronics, voice activated to!
Get PLAQUE implanted and never miss a phonecall again!
My own pointless vanity vintage computing page
While it would definately be cool to have something like this to talk in privacy, there is a quite possible danger that if someone was to call you during the night, and you werent awaken by it, it would be quite possible to send subliminal messages througout the night to the person, effectively brainwashing them with anything required to do...
Unless very properly made with safeguards, this could be a very dangerous yet powerful item for brainwashin, and espionage even..
*insert twilight zone theme here*
Stop over-analyzing your analizations
If anyone has seen the DVD version of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," you may remember in one of the deleted scenes, Hedwig's agent was actually using a cell phone implanted in her head! She had to touch her teeth with her tongue to dial numbers.
Pretty good movie and a great soundtrack, too!
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
how would it work? eye implants? or would it have a built in speech synathasizer?
I want 2D games back.
First of all, complex electronic devices need software, do they not? And software on a device this small will have to be pretty compact, right? And what favorite OS of yours and mine has the tiniest footprint in the world?
Linux!
Linux is an obvious shoo-in for dental applications. By eschewing proprietary, legacy solutions based on M$ "wince" the manufacturers can even eliminate the need for RAM, which I understand Linux can emulate as of 2.4.23, which will save even more room.
Another win for Linux!
I am waiting until I can get a pager implanted in my penis, with standard vibration function.
So how would you power such a device? Run a wire out of your mouth? Have an emf field be generated outside of the cheek and have the chip convert it? What about an antenna? Hold two fingers up at the back of your head???
ever read Orscon Scott Card's Ender Game series? we could all be just like Ender, but without the cool ansible :(
Just what I want - an electronic dog collar implanted in my mouth so that I can be electronically followed anywhere I go.
Atleast we dont have to worry about them brushing their teeth and shorting out the phone
* Ring your competitor continuously from 2am-7am before an important negotiation.
* Transmit directly to opposing cousel's head an ongoing stream of distracting nonsense during your testimony.
* Intercept a security trader's inbound buy/sell instructions and anticipate all his moves.
Nope, no sig
No thanks! I want technology that seperates me from my fellow human beings. All this technology that tries to bring us together ends up biting us in the collective ass.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Who would want to bore a hole in your tooth for a piece of technology which, like all technology will go obsolete? Retarded.
Now it's going to be like totally 10 times grosser to talk to someone who is talking and eating at the same time. Ugh like gag me with a spoon.
The concept of a mobile phone in a tooth was used in a skit in A Swedish TV comedy about 7 years ago.
The guy in the dentist's chair could choose between mercury, plastic, Nokia or Ericsson as filling material.
/jeorgen
I see something like this as very very limited. The roles they mention are kind of far fetched. If you are a stock broker a simple text messaging service with up to date prices would be so much better than a tooth implanted device reading you quotes during a movie. The role of eavesdropping and cheating on Jeopardy might be useful though. Imagine the advantage you could have in a "closed meeting" if you are also on a conference call with your whole team back at your buisiness. Of course this is done enough with regular cell phones accidentally left on. Although I would not want to get a phone put into my tooth only to have to change phones at the end of my contract and I wanted to switch to GSM from TDMA etc.
I am 31337 or something.
and could be listened too anytime anywhere
How can someone overly anytime? Oh... I see, someone meant the infinitive "to."
you will need a minature reactor to power the things
nukes in your mouth
or
drink lots of vodka (fuel cells work off methnol)
the health implications of both are bad but I know what I would do
regards
john jones
p.s. redhat knifed the ecos product(and GPL'd it) and a bunch of employee's dont see that in the news
Pretty wicked though.
Once the work out the mike issue this could mean *apparent* telepathy. Remember, "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
I can think of a dozen ethically iffy uses. Think: two people collaborating in a poker game, getting answers to questions on the SAT, a Miss Universe contestant could hear the question from a spy in the audience, even though she's in the isolation booth, etc.
Light cup, beer drink, thin so chain, neck turtle fat, man I won't say it again
Is there anyone in the world who absolutly needs to be connected at this level?
crazy dynamite monkey
How in Heaven's Name would you power this bad boy?
I can't imagine having 5 other teeth replaced by a lithium ion battery that needs to be recharged after an hour or two of use.
"Don't mind those jumper cables coming out the side of my mouth, my cell phone battery is running a bit low..."
Cuchullain
"If sharing a thing in no way diminishes it, it is not rightly owned if it is not shared." -St. Augustine
Ya, doesn't anyone watch old movies? Its all a plot by the phone company to implant phones directly in our heads. James Coburn is cool.
allright!! a REAL reason to start brushing! geeks now have a good reason for some personal hygiene!
A truly great idea.. and to think, the only thing you need in order to power the device is the patented Tesla Helmet(tm), powering hundreds of thousands of volts through your skull!
After all, in the next round of TV commercials, would you rather stare Jamie Lee Curtis in the tooth, or...
STOP . AMERICA . NOW
The world gets more and more like transmet every day.
||:|::
When I walk down the street in town on a saturday, I see many people talking on mobile phones...
:/
nothing strange about that...
then I often see a man walking toward me and he's talking to someone...
he's not using a phone...
and no one is listening to him...
freaky?
well, this in-the-tooth stuff is gonna make it much much worse than just the hands free personal kits
Course it would kinda suck if your phone rang when you were asleep.
...
...
Or having sex, or eating, or exercising, or talking on another phone
And we thought carnivore has scary implications now
-Sean
I guess this means tinfoil hats will stop being an effective means of preventing your brain from getting cooked...
Not only does this sound like a pretty bad idea from the radiation/cancer standpoint, but think of the privacy problems here also.
Sure it's nice because nobody can overhear your conversation because the conversation is in your head. What about tracking you though? It's getting easier and easier for the cell phone companies and government agencies to track and triangulate the position of cell phones. It's not a big deal right now because if you don't want to be tracked, just don't bring your cell phone, or turn it off.
Now if the cell phone is implanted in your teeth or jaw, you can't just leave it behind, and what sort of switch mechanism are they going to have for this so you can turn it off? I may not be doing anything illegal or even be giving anyone a reason to track my where-abouts, but do I really want people to be able to do so?
Also it's still really not all that hard to intercept cell phone conversations if you have the proper equipment and the knowledge to use it. Even digital calls can be intercepted. Now if some flaw existed in the firmware on the implanted phone, a spy could turn your microphone on remotely and listen to everything you say and hear.
I know I for one won't be getting any electronics implanted inside my person anytime soon, unless someone invents a miniturized beer distillery that replenishes itself automatically and constantly keeps me supplied with a beer.
Duris MUD - The best pkill MUD. Ever.
Presumably, a filling in the space vacated by cavities. Should be the best use of bluetooth we'll see...
First, nothing begins if not opening
- do you really wanted to be bombarded by adverts EVRYWHERE you go
- whats to stop someone jamming or invisably replacing the signal
- they say no-one else can listen in - not to the sound, but what about the radio signal ?
All things considered, a pretty sketchy story - not enough detail... we offer wired model with transmitter implanted into any part of the body by customers choice (some restrictions apply).
3.243F6A8885A308D313
Will the tooth-phone run J2ME for tooth-embedded apps?
Can I have my tooth-phone sync with my Palm to keep track of how often I eat? Or how many times I chew my food or brush my teeth?
Perhaps a small "odor meter" app. to let me know if and how much my breath stinks. Hmm.
-- Dossy
"Brush regularly. Don't let your gums be the bleeding edge of technology!"
Dossy's Blog
I see a large number of problems here:
1) I have two phones - one personal, the other for work. Would I have to get two implants? Then, how would I answer one, but not the other? OTOH - If I did this, a conference call would be a cinch.
2) What happens when I need to change from Sprint to AT&T? Do I have to go back to the dentist? Can I sell my old Sprint implant?
3) So how would I surf the wireless web? (Very big lately)
4) What about programming my phone book?
5) Wouldn't getting screwed by your telco now REALLY leave a bad taste in your mouth?
6) If I set the phone to ring "silently", it might just kick loose a filling or to.
7) I don't think anyone I want to talk to would appreciate me snacking down on a hoagie while I'm talking to them, which is almost the only time I get lunch.
8) I'd have to change toothpaste. I'm sure my Colgate Total isn't supposed to be used on electronics.
9) I don't think anyone would buy it, because then they wouldn't be able to say "I wasn't by the phone." Also, can you imagine some of the phone calls? Phone calls in the bathroom, in the shower, while -um- massaging yourself?
and finally...
10) I wouldn't be able to tell between the lunatics talking to God and a Fortune 500 CEO in a conference call. Particularly with the number of well dressed wackos in the world.
This is by far the worst idea I've heard yet.
The Dopester
"Yes, I'm a Karma Whore, but I'm doing it to pay my way through school."
Unless there's some kind of interface for the user, it seems like this could only be used to accept incoming calls. I can't imagine how you'd tell it to dial somewhere -- there can't be any room for a keypad, and it would probably feel incredibly weird if there was one. Sure, you could do weird things like clacking your teeth together in Morse Code or something, but I think that would be a really annoying way to have to dial. Besides, then couldn't it get accidentally triggered while you were eating?
It sounds like a really interesting back-end technology, but until there's a decent UI, it will not be ready for the market.
Kai MacTane: Web developer for hire in San Francisco
Nonetheless, if it can tune into Radio 4 then I want one!
Justin.
You're only jealous cos the little penguins are talking to me.
I am sure people will still manage to loose their phone...
Cruise TT
Another question: how exactly do you "pick up"? Or is it always on? Just think of the pleasant sounds you'd be broadcasting while you ate, drank, belched, and possibly regurgitated. Not to mention even more private activities.
You, too, can look like a crazy homeless person while talking to your stock broker!
It's bad enough when you're on the train coming home from work and some Trixie from Lincoln Park is talking at full volume. Now she won't even be holding a phone. How creepy.
----------
Cheese it! It's the FEDS!
Didn't they do something like this in the movie Real Genius?
It's not often that it happens, but I saw this one on another site before slashdot! Interesting story...but how could you turn it off when you wanted to disconnect the electronic leash
Out goes the wisdom teeth...
In goes the cell phone.
Finally a quick way to fill up those holes.
I always thought it would be great to have a small lensed digital camera in my head. All I'd have to do is squint funny at something and boom, there's a picture. (Or maybe get a webcam-y thing streaming to some huuuge storage device...)
I think I got the idea from George R R Martin's Tuf Voyaging, with people who got the things installed in the position of a "third eye"
SO YOU'RE GOING TO DIE: The Comic for Dealing with Death
My first question is: can you get a vibrating ringer option?
My second question is: can my girlfriend get one installed?
four nine eighteen twenty-7 thirty-nine forty-7 fiftyeight sixty-nine seventy-9 eighty-8 one-hundred-and-nine one-twenty
they had this on Charlie's Angels.
What happens if signals get crossed and you pick up on someone else's conversation? How would you know you weren't just going nuts? I'm not sure if I could distinguish it from all the other voices in my head! :-)
Ascalante: Your bride is over 3,000 years old.
Kull: She told me she was 19!
I'm not sure how that would help -- oh, you mean someone could give her the answer from the audience! Good one!
Jerry Pournelle's Oath of Fealty. The executives had computer brain implants, and they impletmented telepathy by opening private chat sessions.
It's not blue, is it?
You can always throw a phone away. If it's embedded in your tooth it's a bit more of a problem :)
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Redundant? It's the first time this question was asked.
If you're too stupid to moderate, try answering the fucking question!
As if we don't have enough people in the world who already hold conversations with themselves out loud. And How will Cingular and Verison brand this? Capped tooth with they're logo on it? And I don't even want to think where you be loading your SIM card!
======
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides
What can I say... us Brits spent a lot of time at the dentists :/ It's like a second home or something, mobile communication is essential when you can be gone for weeks.
n/t
Just a second. It's for you. AAAAAAAAAH!
This is cool and all, but I wonder if those people with platinum teeth would buy into this. I can just see MasterP with one of these.
Of course, these things might provide cover for people who simply talk to themselves...
"You done taken a wrong turn."
-Bill McKinney, in Deliverance
Where do you put the aerial? ;-P
Okay, so from where does the power come for this thing? Hehe ... brings up the question: Where do they embed a battery? I shudder to think. *shudder*
Could be very useful during exams... although going for major dental work before an exam might put prospective cheats off the idea :)
I love stacking my barbecues in the shed at the end of summer - you can't beat a bit of grill on grill action.
This actually works by the same principle as Beethoven composed his music (at least the late parts.) He was deaf (or at least almost deaf) and bit on a wooden stick which he touched the piano or strings with when he was playing.
Look a monkey!
its been said that any new technology that has reached the public in production has been sitting in a lab for 15 years but the technology was feasible some years before that, so does that mean its possile that small govt bureaus could already have done small production on this? Maybe the earset of the secret service and FBI is already a thing of the past.
Are there any teeth in Britian to install the implant into ?
Anyone who thinks that this is a neat idea obviously hasn't seen the movie "Real Genius".
I can see it now - a call from your boss while you're at work:
Boss (in deep voice): "IT drone, this is god!"
You (groggy from all night gaming session): "Huh?"
Boss: "From now on, stop reading Slashdot instead of working!"
You: "It *is* God!"
-- Rick
Why do I get the feeling that Professor Warwick is behind this or will at least be the first person to sign up.
Whats Bill Gates' Cell number again?
Great. Yet another excuse for the British to neglect their dental work.
don't know if this link will show the image, but getting the SourceForge "Woman on Cellphone" ad for this story almost made me burst out laughing in my manager's meeting....
-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
Karma: Marginal (mostly due to the border around the website)
I've been seeing these in use for a while now, usually with homeless, drunk, hoboes. They seem to work great.
--
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
So is it bluetooth enabled?
People think Microsoft is the answer. Microsoft is just the question, "No" is the answer.
People no longer have to use stinky smelly chewing tobacco to get jaw and mouth cancer!
Sweet!
There are so many things wrong with this idea it's just not even funny. First off is the fact that this could just cause a more embarassing and awkward encounter in the public washrooms. Picture it, you're in there doing your business and somebody just starts talking. Are they trying to start that odd conversation with you while you're doing your thing? Or are they talking to the damn microchip in their tooth? Who knows.
Not to mention what happens if your phone rings while eating. That would be a nice sound for the other person to hear on the other end.. "chomp, chomp, chomp" And forget about the obvious sexual jokes that I am not even going to attempt to post.
The worst part about this idea is some butthead actually had to sit in a board room and go, "I got an idea" then all the other buttheads all said, "I like that, let's run with it." Personally, I would hate the idea but there has to be somebody out there that would look at it and go, "I gotta get me one o' those...."
The Uber
http://www.tulg.org/
http://devurandom.livejournal.com/
I've often suggested that people with noisy mobile phones should "implant" them, but not in their mouths.
Using the K9 protocol, no doubt.
After 17 cavities, wisdom teeth getting pulled and an evil sadistic dentist, there is no way in hell anything else is getting drilled and glued into my mouth
-- Eric
Spoooon!
"And Kent..."
"Stop playing with yourself."
What happens when these things start interfering with the alien implants?
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris will still kick your ass.
I was acutally worked with James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau on prototyping this device, a fact left out in the article. The trickiest part was dialing. We initially settled on using a combination of light taps on the tooth with the tongue to initiate calls, but we ran into a problem. When I tried to pick up women in bars with the old "tying a cherry stem into a knot" trick, I inadvertantly rang up 9-1-1.
Back to the drawing board.
You forgot the part about someone having to talk. Whether or not someone can see the recieving device does not change that fact that someone, somewhere, is going to have to talk loud enough for you to hear it.
I know more than you drink.
god forbid the person with the implant were eating or chewing gum.
how disgusting would that be?
Until you realize you have to stick your tongue in a wall outlet to recharge the thing... :)
"Honey, why are you eating the extension cord?"
"I'm meephrbing muh foofphnd!"
"What?"
"I'm meephrbing muh foofphnd, hammt!!"
"I can't understand you."
"I'm recharging my tooth phone, damn it! Now go out to the garage and get me some electrical tape and a case of Bactine."
This tagline is umop apisdn.
lollipops that you stick in the base and they play music in your head, but no one else can hear them. Now they need to put a chip in you throat so you can mouth the words without saying them but it picks them up and speaks for you.
Great Linux Site
We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile
[sorry, I couldn't resist]
Engage!
A norwegian salesman was at a symposium abroad. At lunchtime, he sat down by two sleak business guys, one american and one japanese. They ate their food and dicussed the place and the technology showcased.
Suddenly the american stuck a thumb in his ear and started talking into his pinky. When he was done, the other asked "What's up with that?". "Ahh, I just got a call." said the american, "I had a cellphone implanted in my hand. The speakers in the thumb and the microphone in the pinky."
A few minutes later, the japanese started talking to himself. "What's up with you?" they asked. "Ah, I just got a call", he said[This is why this isn't entirly off topic *laughing nervously*]. "I had a cellphone implanted in my brain, the microphone's in my tooth and the speaker's in my ear."
The norwegian felt a bit left out, since he didn't have any ultra cool gadgets. Suddenly he stood up and farted a big one. "Hey, what's up with that?!" the others asked. "Ahh" the norwegian said, "I just sent a fax."
Actually, that's old news. A lot of people have been using that technology for centuries. And you thought they were loony... ;)
So this explains the Voices in my head.
Okay, how do you throw the phone down in frustration?
--T
http://www.theMediaBunker.com
If I'm not mistaken, those ear piece - only headsets for cell phones and others work in the same way but reverse, taking vibrations from the jaw that are transmitted to the skull.
I suspect that you won't see so much as cell phones being implanted in your teeth, but rather, adapters for cellphones which would then transmit the signal on another frequency to the receiver in your tooth. It sounds like the model they've developed would work without a battery, using only the rf power, but I don't know for sure -- but if thats the case, then you solve a lot of your problems, such as supplying power to it. Then that brings up the issue of security -- if its passive, then you can't exactly encrypt / decrypt your signal very well.
Now I could finally have connectivity for my RectumPad (actually the unintended result of a freak accident involving a Palm IIIe, but let's not go there....)
So .... does it have Bluetooth? *rimshot*
Going to the dentist to have them scrap and polish my teeth every 6 months is enough for me. As cell phone technology seemingly changes with the cycles of the moon, we would end up going to the "cell-phone dentist" entirely too often.
no thanks.
My gf is giving me a blowjob when her mom decides to call her up.
Do you think she can figure out whats going on in her mouth ??
Siemens engineer, Motorla engineer and Nokia engineer are having meeting together.
Siemens engineer boasts:
We have created phone where mouthpiece is put under little fingers fingernail and earpiece is under fingernail in index figer.
Motorola engineer boasts:
Whe have reated phone so small that it fits into a teeth.
Nokia engineer:
FAAARRTT, oh sorry. I got mail.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
As I recall, the characters in RAH's "The Puppet Masters" all had vibraphones implanted in their earlobes.
There were also these stories about a boy and his robot. "My Robot Buddy" was one of them. Read them in abt. Grade 2. Ah, those were the days, when the future looked better (of course now we have iPaqs).
Quid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
Anything said in Latin, sounds profound.
Use one of these embedded phones, and everyone will think you are talking to yourself, or the voices in your head. Pretty soon, you'll wind up committed to a loony bin! Besides, with a transmitter that close to your brain, the saucer people will be able to read and control your mind, and a tinfoil hat would keep the phone from working.
How ya like dat?
The news.com story leads you to believe that these researchers have developed a tooth phone. This is in fact not the case. Instead, they have developed the technology to allow signals (not specifically cell phone) to be transimitted to your inner ear through bone resonance. This is much cooler because aside from the obvious security issues, it is much more versatile and could easily be "turned off." I still wonder about how they plan to power it though...
"Essentially the futuristic tooth would use wireless technology, such as 802.11 or bluetooth, to take signals from audio devices such as mobile phones, radios, stereos or computers, Auger [one of the two main researchers] explained to ElectricNews.Net. These signals would be changed into vibrations that would travel from the tooth, to the skull, eventually creating audible sound in the user's inner ear. No one but the user would be able to hear the sounds."
A more accurate story from ElectricNews
Also of interest is this site. It is James Auger's personal site about his research. It was up before, but I was having some problems with it moments ago.
Great song.
Gladys and Agnes / Radioactive Isaac / Love, Honor, and Obey
SYNOPSIS: Two sisters turn the ship upside down when the widowed one tries to get her old maid sibling married off; Isaac falls apart when his advances to a gorgeous gal fail because his new tooth filling receives strange transmissions; a husband and wife...
STARS: Gavin Macleod, Bernie Kopell, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange, Lauren Tewes, Jill Whelan
GUEST STARS: Audra Lindley, Bernard Fox, Berlinda tolbert, Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara, Marion Ross
"And stop playing with yourself!"
"Woah, It IS god!!!"
Has anybody figured out how to dial the implant phone?
Skiers and Riders -- http://www.snowjournal.com
Moderation totals: +2 Funny, -2 Overrated
Conversion Rate Optimisation French / English consultant
I have to say the dreaded word. There would be no escape.
Is anyone else reminded of the scene from "Real Genius" ?
Kent.
This is God.
You've been a very naughty boy.
...
I want you to think about what you've done. And until then, STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF.
:-)
I've got someone on the line who wants to talk to you. Just come over here and make a tight seal around my lips. What are you making that face for?
JET Program: see Japan, meet intere
...they hurt your heart, they hurt you not....and so on and so on...
What do I have to do to get a sig around here?! www.bearscanfly.org
I think it would be pretty funny. how would they control the ringing. and how would you answer? one click of your teeth to answer and two to hang up? better not be chewing gum while your talking on your phone.
this is an impractical device, a better one would be a phone placed on your jawbone so that you could click a switch somewhere to turn it on and off.
Now we may know what DRM really tasts like...
Welcome to the land of the free...pay toll ahead...no photography...please open your bag...
In Hedwig and the Angry Inch there is a running joke about the bands manager (played by Andrea Martin of SCTV fame having a mobile phone in her head. She has to dial the phone by pressing different teeth with her tongue and can never get it right.
There was a great scene in a laundrymat (a deleted scene on the DVD I think) where she gets a hit on the head and loses control of it. In the movie it was a joke about how phones keep getting smaller so, as a status symbol, she gets hers implanted. It's kind of eerie to see if becoming a reality.
John Cameron Mitchell (the writer/actor/director) talks a little about it here.
perl -le 's;;uoli;;$a=length;y;g-w;e-u;;$a--;s;j;$a;;print'
I tend to grind my teeth when I get really angry and I tend to get really angry when my cell phone distructs me from some things I do. ... so it will be double pleasure to grind that cell phone away.
(I have to remember to spit it out though, I don't think cell phone is in any food group.)
You can't handle the truth.
If you get one of these devices implanted, it will probably be unlawful for you to drive in certain U.S. states.
Would they handle signal decay like they do tooth decay?!
I am the lord of the pun. Dance Knave!
Wondering if the implant is blue (giving new meaning to bluetooth).
Image having one for ever tooth in your mouth you could have (wait for it).... a beowulf cluster of these.
Sean.OutaHere()
Mouth cancer
People have been concerned that the radiation from cell phones has been causing cancer of the ear...
If the sound is transmitted via bone resonancy then subvocalisation may be enough to transfer hearable and understandable speech without it being detectable by people around you under normal conditions. Implanting the mike ontop of the voice box or just placing it securely over the voice box might be enough to allow this.
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
If I wanted everyone in my country to have implanted tracking devices, rather than making them manditory by force of law, I'd make them like this little creation.
Now this tooth phone is not such a whiz-bang, can't-do-without-it concept, but the tracking devices we will all have implanted in us from birth in the future... they will be so cool and usefull that folks without them will be rendered useless and unable to compete with those who do.
...
I'm not paranoid... I'm suspicious.
Above comment is personal opinion. Poster is not a spokesperson.
A good pair of pliers will tighten that phone right up. No need to contend with those nasty "loose" phones.
Well, this would give brits an excuse to get their teeth fixed!
:-)
Probably not a good idea for people who grind their teeth, could end up making obscene phone calls while you sleep.
Shop smart, Shop S-Mart.
BLUE TOOTH ???
this means my Maxwell Smart Agent-86 shoephone is obselete...
uhh. wasn't cellphone use linked to brain tumors or something. i don't think i would want an "always on" cellphone imbedded in my jaw.
besides how long could the battery last on a thing that size?
well I guess nokia will come out with flavored charger cords...
::.. check out some Cell Phone Reviews
1) What happens when the phone needs to be repaired or have the firmware updated?
2) How will people react when you're in the store/laundrymat/etc talking to the voices in your head? Just try to convince people that you've got a phone embedded in your mouth, as they dial for the padded wagon....
3) How does one go about changing carriers, if they wanted to?
4) What do do about those annoying wrong numbers?
5) Can you get the internet on it?
Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
It's been a few years, but I've used earpieces that have built in bone condution mikes, and I believe these are pretty common. (we used them in a club I worked in.)
Basically, it's an ear piece that fits in your ear, and the mike is built in. Somehow (don't know how) it picks up the vibration of your jaw.
So, if you can buy this tech for cheap at radio shack, then someone, somewhere has to have miniturized it to fit on the rest of the piece.
And, as an added bonus, it doesn't pick up background noise, so you can mumble under your breath in a crowded club, and the people at the other end can hear you fine.
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
We can't fit an entire cell phone into a tooth yet. We can fit a speaker, a transmitter, and a very small source of power... important parts of a cell phone, but by no means the whole thing. You'd carry around a special phone that'd have a touchpad, screen, etc., and a mode that would transmit to a toothpiece. You can leave the cell somewhere, and if it rings when you're not around, you don't hear it. No tracking device, just a speaker and a low-power transmitter. Charging the transmitter will be scary (I don't like the idea of sitting next to a coil for 20 minutes while it charges), unless it uses bioelectrical (nerve impulses)/biomechanical power (power from jaw movements, blood flow, etc).
is this incoming only? if not, how the f*ck do you dial? bite down a certain number of times in a row?
go get it
You could always flood any areas you suspect of possible misuse with electromagnetic interferance...
But I think then everyone would carry interferance generating devices to prevent others from attempting to "telepathically" communicate "behind their back"...or hack into their "cell-tooth" and read their thoughts...
I've often wondered if people like the President haven't been getting these installed for a while. Encrypted of course, powered by energy beamed from
something worn on the body.
It would be great, if you were a politician, to have your staff able to secretly say something to you as you work a crowd or a room. You could seem like a total genius, remember everybody's name, have every fact at the ready.
Has it been over a year since you last donated to the Electronic Frontier Foundation
I would rather have it hooked up to an mp3 or ogg player myself.....
So now we can see if the trick they played on Kent in Real Genius will really work.
The voices in my head told me to do it!
So no-one should be trying to find me?
thank God the internet isn't a human right.
Benefits to using it as a dumb device would include allowing audio communication with any device that communicates in that protocol (laptops, PDAs, cell phones, pagers, portable audio devices, or even cordless adapters to work with an existing device that has an existing stereo headphone or line-in/out jack.
While the article is low on details, I would guess that it would be possible to implant multiple devices that are tuned to the user's individul characteristics to provide high fidelity, stereo sound.
I hesitate at using any previously mentioned technology implanted in your body other than for medical reasons, but this sounds really cool. Depending on price (and the results of safety studies), I would sign up for this one.
science is a religion
So exactly how do we go about choosing our queen-- election or what? Nominations anyone?
with my 20+(i've lost count, but easily more than 20) crowns in my noggin i should be able to become the leading mobile-bio-communitcation hub for the east coast.
thirsty*i^2
"Ya I finished that last week, it just doesn't work"
This sounds like it's from the movie zoolander. Remember that jamacian hair DJ dude that kept following zoolander? He sticks his pinky up to his mouth, and his thumb towards his ear, and he's talking "thought you might want to know, zoolander is on the prowl"
My office was a few blocks away from the train station, past the freeway underpass where a bunch of the local homeless camped. I'd guess the ratio was about 50-50 between cellphone headset users and drunks talking to themselves, but at least the drunks didn't need to write business plans and burn venture capital.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
This is just what I've been waiting for. I've already got the cardboard box, cigerettes and bandana ready, so I'm ready to go to Alaska now.
yeah, this sorta happens to me already. I had an earpiece on, and I was on the phone with the wife, and stopped by a farm stand for some fresh vegtables so she could tell me what she wanted. I go "they've got cucumbers.. how many cucumbers should I get?" and the farmer got this confused look on his face, paused (meanwhile my wife is telling me three" and the farmer goes "wha.. why are you asking me how many you want?" and I go "Oh not you, I'm on the phone".
Bah! The CIA has been human-testing those on drunken hicks for YEARS! That's not news.
And if you don't want it to ring when you're asleep, what you've got to do, see, is you've got to make yourself one of 'em "tin-foil" hats...those'll block them CIA tooth-messages real good and dandy!
You can't take the sky from me...
Imagine you're eating pussy or sucking dick and your boss calls, during working hours.
Or worse, you mother picks up the line and you've left your tooth "off the hook."
Or worse, your "significant other" calls.
Just because you can do something, like jerking yourself off with sand-paper, doesn't mean its a good idea.
And this is NOT a good idea. In fact this, class, is an example of a BAD idea.
MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
"Look! A message from my TEETH!" - The Tick
"I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false." - L. Ron Hubbard Jr.
Don't forget:
11) Never miss a telemarketing phone call again (shudder!)
GMD
watch this
I've long considered pagers and cell phones to be the human version of radio-tagging wild animals. Now that you're marked, we can find you again.
Seriously, I don't pick up most of my calls at home, and I don't get calls anywhere else, and that's how I like it. If you are not related to me and you want to reach me, email me. As it is, I get far more spam/telemarketers on the phone than in the email.
"Common Sense Ain't" -Unknown
Are they building any volume controls on this thing? Do you have to twist your nose?
There's no place like ~/
There have been a bunch of posts about how it would be inconvenient to have the phone ring at certain times.
Why does everyone assume you couldn't turn t off. Perhaps a remote switch, or some small button in an unobtrusive place in your mouth could act as an on/off switch. Why assume such a thing wouldn't be included?
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one " -Albert Einstein
I wondered when cellphones first started to become more common how long it'd be before people made the transition from "guy (apparently) talking to himself on the street -> immediate assumption is he's crazy, followed by the realization he was actually talking on a phone" to "guy (apparently) talking to himself on the street -> must be having a phone conversation, followed by the realization he's actually jabbering shit to himself".
The transition for me personally started to happen when hands free phones started becoming common & the hardware was a bit less obvious. I'm curious to see what we'll start assuming about people who are 'talking to themselves' with no visible hardware when this kind of thing gets common..
Great Consept, except when your walking down the street seemingly taking to yourself and they through the ol straight jacket on ya and off ya go... "NO DOC, I HAVE A PHONE IN MY MOUTH, I TALK TO PEOPLE THROUGH IT" 'sure ya do, 10 cc's of thorasine for this young man stat!!!"
Why would anything related to the British and teeth make me worried? Oh, yeah, now I remember...
Good idea, but there had better be some good encryption and security in place. Or some evil haxor might start beaming 'Take Me Down to Funkytown' in a loop to your head.
Michael Loves Me!
I wonder if it'll turn your teeth BLUE...
..nobody hacks into my ear and sends a stream of Hentai movie audio to me 24/7.
British Researchers have found a way to make teeth ugly?
hmmm..
S
Just imagine the possibilities for homeland security. We can broadcast the terror warnings and all of GWB and Tom Ridge's speeches to every citizen. Oh, and we can track your locations too.
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
And I used to think about how unrealistic that scene in _Real Genius_ was. Now we just have to be careful of getting this message: "Stop playing with yourself!"
-={(Astynax)}=-
"Darkness beyond Twilight"
keke, everytime i read one of these things, i can't help but remember the Steve Martin classic "The Jerk" i guess instead of everyone being cross-eyed, maybe we, or most likely, our progeny will grow a 2nd head like in that Mike's Hard Lemonade commercial. guess that would be cool...
How are you supposed to charge the battery on this thing. Do I have to run an electrical cord to my mouth at night?
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
Gilligan had this same problem; a coconut hit him on the head and his fillings started picking up radio signals. Much mayhem ensued, as the other castaways wanted him to be their own personal radio, but he could only hold a particular station by keeping his head still - and everyone knows Gilligan couldn't do that for long!
-c
I have discovered a truly remarkable proof which this margin is too small to contain.
This has already been satirized in a fantastic film called Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Andrea Martin (from SCTV) plays Hedwig's obnoxious publicist, who's always on her cell phone. In a hilarious deleted scene on the DVD, she has a phone implanted in her teeth. She presses on her teeth with her tongue to control the phone, and asks people to speak into her mouth to join in the conversation. When she gets hit in the head it goes off-hook and she can't stop the loud off-hook sound.
I think the scene was so funny (and too much about Andrea Martin, who's only a supporting actor here) that it distracted from the story and the scene in the movie just has her using a normal cell phone.
I saw this in an episode of the Partridge Family. only it was recieving FM instead. Truth is stranger...
:)
...///...
Well, it seems Orwell was an amateur dystopian. Why resort to force to place surveillance devices all over the place when you can just trick people into placing themselves under surveillance with implants? Once it's implanted how do you even know when it's on or off?
On the positive side, this could give new crdibility to the guys with the tin foil helmets, though...
Or was it "Our Man Flint". One of those movies.
-- Will program for bandwidth
Yeah
Obviously she turned it off during one of those rare occasional sex scenes with Michael.
Yeah, that sounds pretty cool... I don't think radio waves or bad transmitted sound would be a problem, because it's only for receiving private audio, so the waves would be very weak, just running from your real cell phone to your tooth, and you wouldn't use it to talk. I have two other interesting uses for it: 1. Text messages: use a voice synthesizer to read messages as you get them, and type them on a chording keyboard in your pocket. 2. A walkman. I once started reading a sci-fi book where someone had a radio implant where you could tune by shifting your teeth. Something like that could be cool, teachers would never know you're listening to music (MP3 player too =D)
Tired of free iPod sigs? Subscribe to my blacklist
Better drink your milk.. I could forseeably see some teeth getting weakened by the vibrations of the phone over time...
Seems like the killer app for this would be for undercover bugging...
If your bitterest enemies are people who hack the heads off civilians, then I would say you're doing something right.
yeah, but is there any protection against unwanted transmissions to your tooth. I could see a new "direct bone-inductance drive-by spam" happening.
Walk by a store and get beamed in advertising, right to your tooth-phone.
... but wait until you finally get a date again and you kiss a girl with another implant causing a feedback loop...
The rest of the evening you'll spend doing sign language to each other...
(this may not be a problem for the regular slashdotter though)
See the real use I see for this is as a bluetooth (now that wasn't intened) or like technology headset. ie. you still have a phone but it uses the tooth mic to handle the audio part of your call.
That would be the best of all worlds because you get around the radiation problem, it doesn't matter what provider you are with as long as the phone does bluetooth, you can still surff the wireless web, and I don't have to find and put on my handsfree when I'm driving down the road.
Right now they have the ability to track your location via your cellphone, even if it's not in use.
What worries me about this is that you can't just leave it at home, it's with you forever. If someone devious with a lot of power wanted to track you, you'd have no way to prevent it.
So the governments new tool to get this signal would go from Tempest to Dentest.
Using a small laser they'll pick up the vibration of your cheek to get the signal... I can see it now
mike is a persons name, the word you are looking for is mic, short for microphone.
I don't need that when there's C to be coded or slashdot to be read!
The article failed to address how said mobile phone obtains power. You still need a respectable amount of juice to transmit. Current day power sources for cell phones still aren't that small -- although some Pac Rim outfit has a watch cell phone. However, even a power source that small isn't suitable to fit inside someone's mouth!
Luckily my tin foil hat stops them from picking up any signals from mine.
Sheesh... This could be a real disaster for folks who grind their teeth in their sleep.
I can picture it now... Some poor slob is in the middle of a hot dream, their teeth are going like millstones, and they suddenly manage to call Zimbabwe at zero-dark-four local time.
The person at the other end picks up their phone, gives the bleary Zimbabwean equivalent of 'Hello,' an incoherent curse or whatever, and their only response is a loud snore.
Don't even get me started on where your calls might go if you started chowing down on saltwater taffy.
Bruce Lane, KC7GR,
Blue Feather Technologies
OK. I gather that this is not an entire cellphone in your head, but a speaker, and maybe a microphone. That's not so bad. But how -is- the signal piped in there? Bluetooth? Great! So what happens if I'm standing next to someone using a bluetooth device as well? Do I suddenly get to eavesdrop on their entire conversation(not even just half of it, as when normally standing by someone on a cellular) just by being there? What if someone is using a laptop with bluetooth? Do I catch the sound of their data transfers? Ouch. I'm not so sure this is a good idea.
;) I've wanted something like this for quite some time now, for music, one and two-way radios, etc. Which reminds me: perhaps in the chips they'd like to install with this device, they should install an extra amplitude monitor/damper, one that maybe you can set by connecting a computer to your implant. This would let you set a 'hard limit' for your incoming volume, to keep you from a)going deaf, or b) blowing out a tooth when you bump the volume knob on your CD player up to the top. You could probably do some serious hearing damage that way.
What might not be such a bad idea is an external port for this installed in your skin, with a shadowrun(or pick your favorite future sci-fi novel/movie/RPG)-style "datajack". This would allow for a good form of security - you have to have a physical link to receive/transmit(if there's a microphone) signals. Consider that the port could even be a small external job that connected to conductive "buttonsnaps" on your skin, so that you could a) remove the port when not in use, leaving a couple small metallic bumps as their only trace, and b) have an automatic safety release if you cable gets caught/yanked on(the port would just snap off and/or the cable would come unplugged, rather than the port being yanked sideways in your skin rather painfully).
Make mine a stereo miniplug so I can listen to my walkman, please.
I doubt the phone completely fits into the ear. Probably it works like those hearing devises which for purposes of beauty are split into two parts. A small earpiece fits into the ear comletly redusing visual effect to the minimum. (People on TV use a similar stuff. Small short range radio receiver is completely hidden in the ear. Don't think they pronounce long monologues by heart. Even most of the improvisation in 'live' shows is what the director sais over the radio.) The second piece fits into a pocket and includes a microphone and a radio transmitter.
Analogously, this device may have only a small 'earpiece' installed onto a tooth while a much bigger divice still needs a pocket. However advanced the electronics is, a mobile phone still needs a lot of power to transmit a signal. Look at the bataries of modern mobile phones! At least 50 grams and they still need recharging at least once a week. (Imaging recharging a battary in the tooth.)
A german, an american and a japanese man are playing golf.
The jerrys' mobile start's ringing. He starts talking to his pinky. The others are puzzled. The german replies that thanks to MEMS and microtechnology he has a microphone embedded in his pinky and a the receiver in his thumb.
A few minutes later, the yanks' cel goes off. He just starts talking. The others are puzzled. He replied that he has the transmitter implanted in his molar and the receiver in his ear canal. He's got a cel phone in his head.
A little later there's another call. The jap excuses himself and goes behind a bush. There's some whirring going on puzzled, the yank and the jerry peer into the bushes only to find the jap squatting with his pants off. He replies, "I am receiving a fax"
Patient: Doctor, I think I'm going crazy!
Psychiatrist: Why do you say that?
Patient: Lately, I think I've been hearing voices in my head.
Psychiatrist: And what do these... voices say?
Patient: "You can save up to $200 if you switch to the AT&T premium long distance plan." Please make it stop!
Psychiatrist: Now I see what the problem is. What you need is to see a dentist.
I'd imagine talking to someone with one of these things would sound similar to a patient in a dentist chair with that sucky thing in their mouth or Peter Frampton's "vocal" guitar work.
They have Eyeglasses with a camera in them like Mission Impossible (the good first movie, not the sucky second one). I would like Eyeglasses with a cellphone in them. Convienient, Hands Free, Earpiece stays where it is supposed to, and with these you could even surf the net. Since I wear glasses anyway, it would be ideal.
At least for right now, the glasses can be just a "head unit" for your phone which would remain a belt unit and interface either physically or wirelessly.
It would be the answer to most of the issues raised here:
- Web access, certainly, no problem.
- Anyone can reach you anytime, take your glasses off.
- Too close to head, non-issue if the actual phone was on a belt pack
- Two Phones, keep using two phones.
- one conventional, one glasses
- two different pairs of glasses
- One pair of glasses, two belt units, maybe one pair of glasses with two i/o ports
- Change Carriers, no problem, change glasses or belt units
- Lunch, no problem (but please hit mute)
- Crazy people on the street - Assume they are all crazy. You will be more right than wrong.
Andy Farnsworth
"Computer Scientists can count to 1024 on their fingers" (non-mutant, non-mutilatated, human computer scientists)
There should be two devises linked with a short range radioconnection. An ear piece in your tooth acting as a hands-free and a normal phone in the pocket. The dialing is trivial. Anyway, you still cannot fit a phone battary in your tooth! You need more space.
"The tooth! The tooth! You must remember the tooth!"
:p
Well, if they can implant a mobile phone in a tooth, I'm sure they could implant a gas sac. Now all I need are some transmitters shaped like toenails and I can start building my army of Sardaukar.
only the british could pull that off. the big book of british smiles anyone? those are the only chompers that could handle it...
But of course, it would be blue
geek page at KY speaks
Didn't Bill Murray have one of these in Charlies Angels?
this sig is deprecated
My reception was soo much better when I had braces!
This sounded familiar, then I remembered where I saw it--in the Charlie's Angels movie that came out about 6 mo ago (and is now running on DirectV).
--
Ask the Ya-Hoot Oracle Anything!
I know there is No Such Agency that is able to keep ahead of technological development with a ten year head start. But it makes me think. Only a few days ago I would have dismissed any person, telling me to be eavesdropped and tracked down by secret government agencies through toothimplants, as a random crackpot. No I'm not so sure anymore.
Next thing is Bruce Willis dropping into my car, telling my he was send from the future to find out about a twelve monkey conspiracy :)
Code is Speech. No to Censorship.
William S. Gibson called it the "bonephone" in his stories.
A must for any busy shadowrunner!
Palaces, barricades, threats, meet promises
You could have it be a "dumb" device. It could communicate with the actual device a la Blue tooth and just act as a speaker and microphone.
Benefits to using it as a dumb device would include allowing audio communication with any device that communicates in that protocol (laptops, PDAs, cell phones, pagers, portable audio devices, or even cordless adapters to work with an existing device that has an existing stereo headphone or line-in/out jack.
While the article is low on details, I would guess that it would be possible to implant multiple devices that are tuned to the user's individul characteristics to provide high fidelity, stereo sound.
I hesitate at using any previously mentioned technology implanted in your body other than for medical reasons, but this sounds really cool. Depending on price (and the results of safety studies), I would sign up for this one.
One thing REALLY bugs me about this.
How do you charge the battery?
Seriously, the only easy way is a magnetic inductance charger. But then who wants to have a jaw recharger hanging from their lips for 3 hours or more? Contact charging is even worse with conductive saliva. It would be like having a 9-volt battery under your tongue all day. And how long can a battery that small hold a charge? Even if it just transmits to a signal booster on the belt a few feet away that will still suck down the juice on the battery constantly.
The concept is silly and pointless.
If we could have radioactive plutonium batteries that small it MIGHT work, but there is no room for adequate rad shielding in a tooth-sized area.
"Face it, a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
For anyone who has the DVD of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", there is a deleted scene where Phyllis Stein (played by Andrea Martin) is showing of her new tooth-phone.
What's funny is what happens when she gets knocked in the head...
AnamanFan - Trying to find the Truth, one post at a time.
According to the article, it could receive messages. It didn't say anything about transmitting them.
They could probably get enough power just by making it out of some metal different from your other fillings, and using the galvanic effect. To try this yourself, chew on some aluminum foil.
"Call now, and listen live as one of our hot-n-horny operators goes down on some other guy"
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
This is just a replacement for mercury fillings.
And where, pray tell, would the "extension" be located?
do people want cancer?
I don't know the health implications of having your head in an oscillating magnetic field for hours a day. Particularly when the rest of your body isn't in it so there can be current flow.
DON'T have this thing installed in the UK. SERIOUSLY!!!!
>80 column hard wrapped e-mail is not a sign of intelligent
>life
Great! Another way for a telephone to interrupt my life! If my girlfriend ever interrupts oral to answer the phone, she's out the door.
-ted
A beowulf cluster of these...
What a pain in the teeth!
"It's a secret message...from my teeth."
Stevis
We've got two lives, one we're given, and the other one we make. --Mary Chapin Carpenter
You'd better pull out your teeth so they won't be able to locate you and bring you back to the future!
www.augerment.com is back up and running.
If you look at the information he provides about the audio tooth project, you'll see exactly what he's talking about...basically a miniature tooth vibrator and a bluetooth receiver. I'd quote it, but he put the text as a graphic...ack
Filling that tooth with a poisonous gas? Talk about a terrorist device, no thanks!
-------
"Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief."
I suppose this only works if the tooth is blue.
--
If you moderate this, then your children will be next.
It could be recharged by chewing... Of course, they 'll hardly be able to put something like that in the first versions.
I think this would be really cool to have if you were on "Who wants to be a millionare"
Just great, now all those aluminum foil hat guys can start making anit-radiation dental floss and tooth paste..
Tired of legitimate data sources? Try UNCYCLOPEDIA
"What's that? the reception's bad. No, I'm not in a tunnel, I'm on a diet."
...will the phone be BlueTooth compatable?
:-) I had to.
CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?
Is that where that's coming from?
The "bone phone" was a radio that transmitted sound through the collar bone, to be used underwater for stealth communications for divers. Audio could be received and understood quite clearly, but responses had to be given in grunts, tongue clicks, or tapping on your collarbone. While there was a clamp/sheath that sat over the collar, most of the guts were worn on a pack on the back. It was at the pre-prototype stage when I saw it 9 years ago, a bit clunky. However, I'm sure it has long since been put into production.
I tell ya, that was the best summer job ever...I was 18 when I ran my code on one of the very first massively parallel machines, at Sandia Natl Labs, then ran it on their Cray to compare results. I felt so important. Plus I got to see all the cool shit our military was geeking out on. I mean really, how many people have ever seen a railgun fire a half-ton shell to supersonic speeds, only to have it impact into a molten sheet 2mm thick? Too cool.
They'd never let you into airports with one of these. What if you had a tooth implanted that was filled with poison gas!
---
Remember the tooth!
Secret message from my teeth!
Happiness is relative, Based upon the way we live.
Doncha mean switching providers would be like pulling teeth?
It figures it'd be the British. For years, Q's been making cool toys for Bond.
...to make this take off is subvocalising your end of the conversation. I don't care about people listening to their cell phone, it's the yelling into their phones in public that ticks me off.
What Would the Fab Five Do?
cellular phone and talks for a minute with his office. "Very important to be in touch these days," he says. "Yes," his golfing partners agree.
A little bit later another different ring is heard, and the American golfer holds his hand up to his head (as if to imitate talking on the
phone) and starts talking in what is clearly a real conversation. After the call he explains to his friends, "It's the very latest in cellular technology - a speaker is attached to my thumb, and a microphone to my pinky. You can't even tell I have it on."
A couple of holes later, a different, muted, ringing sound is heard, and the German businessman in the foursome stands erect and begins talking, again an obviously real conversation. When finished he explains, "This really is the latest in cellular technology. A speaker is implanted in my ear, and a microphone in the backside
of a front tooth. I stand at attention to talk."
Suitably impressed, the foursome continues their game. Suddenly, the Japanese golfer excuses himself and ducks behind a bush. After he doesn't re-appear for several minutes, the American golfer goes to make sure he is okay. He finds him behind the bushes squatting down with his pants around his ankles. "Is everything okay?" asks the American. "Yes," replies the Japanese golfer, "If you could just give me a minute here, I'm expecting a fax... "
(I think it was from rec.humor.funny about 5 years ago.)
I'd rather have an external (hidden under a garment) body buzzer that talked in Morse. I can't listen to multiple talkers at once, but I can carry on one conversation and copy Morse while I keep my log and put a new sheet of paper in my typewriter at 75 WPM. Different devices have to use different parts of the brain or overload occurs. Not enough geeks learn Morse's code anymore.
It would be ok if your room was a big faraday cage like mine... oh wait, nevermind.
You could have it be a "dumb" device. It could communicate with the actual device a la Blue tooth and just act as a speaker and microphone.
I think it would actually have to be something along these lines. As a potential standalone unit, there's not going to be any reliable way to dial with it, and I doubt that you want something ringing in your mouth (although I guess they could develop a mouth-ring that wasn't nearly as intrusive as a normal phone-ring). Plus, how would you answer, hang up, etc.? Of course, setting options and storing numbers is right out of the question.
You're going to have to have a hand unit, and the tooth part would only represent the mouth/ear-piece. At least until they develop a direct brain interface, so you can manage everything inside your head.
I'm sorry sandwich! --Brak
Where do the batteries go? :O
No fax? How do u key in SMS?
----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
For more info, see
o ke spage01.html
http://residents.bowhunting.net/frankie/jokes/j
An American, a German and a Japanese guy are golfing one day and, at the
third hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts
his left thumb to his ear and his left pinky finger to his mouth and
proceeds to have a phone conversation. When he is done, he looks at the
other two and says, "Oh, that's the latest American technology in cell
phones. I have a chip in my thumb and one in my pinky and the antenna is
in my hat. Great stuff, huh?" They continue golfing until the ninth
hole when, again, they hear a phone ring. The German tilts his head to
one side and proceeds to have a conversation with someone in German.
When he finishes, he explains to the other two that he has the latest in
German cell phone technology. "A chip in my tooth, a chip in my ear and
the antenna has been inserted into my spine...Ah, the wonders of German
know-how!" At the thirteenth hole, a phone rings again and upon hearing
it, the Japanese guy disappears into some nearby bushes. The German and
the American look at each other and then walk over and peer into the
bushes. In the middle of the bushes is the Japanese guy, squatting with
his pants down around his ankles. "What on earth are you doing?!" asks
the American. The Japanese guy looks up and replies, "Waiting for a
fax."
I'd love to have one of these, if only to emulate Solid Snake from Metal Gear. I'd just have to keep the CD case with me in case I need Meryl's phone number.
>listened too anytime
That's "listened to", "too" is like "also". I'm sorry if it was a typo, but I just get really pissed at seeing faulty grammar seeping into professional sites.
Don't get one. Government agencies are already stocking up on FM sniffers and updating their databases. When these hit the market, if they want to find you, it will be childs play. Just think about the loosening of the wiretapping laws...
Heroscape, it's like legos combined with anachronistic wargames.
Embed a piezoelectric in the prosthetic cell tooth's chewing surface.
Voila! Whenever you need to charge the phone, pop in a stick of gum.
That, or replace the top of your skull with solar panels.
...anactofgod...
---anactofgod---
"Equal opportunity swindling - *that* is the true test of a sustainable democracy."
Hmmm...
Remember the reports of tumors resulting from cell phone antennae being held so close to the brain when the phones are in use?
How bad could it be to embed the antenna *IN* your skull?
...anactofgod...
---anactofgod---
"Equal opportunity swindling - *that* is the true test of a sustainable democracy."
No one ever thought of installing a microwave oven implant into the mouth so that you can just pull the TV dinner out of the freezer and chow down!
Did someone forget about a little thing called radiation? It's bad enough frying your brain for several minutes each day, let alone cooking your mouth in ambient waves 24/7. If this thing is invented, we're going to see a marked increase in the number of mouth tumours over the coming decades.
Hey, my 20 yo crown just fell out - maybe they'd pay me to fly over to UK to test one of these as a replacement???
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
It could recharge in the same way as those watches that charge themselves using the motion of the user's wrist. There are always small movements and vibrations around a person's body, particularly the mouth.
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
and you thought your cell phone could give you cancer? This shit will kill ya quik
the guy is in the bathroom stall getting a fax out of his ass?
This device could be likened to the phone in the comedy skit The Brain Cellular by Radio Free Vestibule (now The Vestibules). The guy gets a cell phone implanted in his brain and it turns out his number used to belong to a major airline ticket service. Listen to it to hear the full story...
Participants of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' could have this implant done, and with friends and family figuring out a joint answer on the other end of the phone, could walk away with the prize. And students cheating during exams??
Oh, And I thought Bluetooth was something entirely different. Silly me. Hey, buster! Watch what you're saying or I'll knock your phone out!
"I used to have that really cool,funny sig
I've cracked a couple of teeth - had to have some crowns put in.... The usual suspects: Car accidents, chewing ice, or biting into a popcorn kernel... About $700 each time...
Now I have to add in the cost of a crushed phone? Oy vey!
I think its a good solution for a hearing aid. SO far one has to put the hearing aid in the ear which doesn't help if for some reason the diaphragm of the ear gets deffective. If sound is communicated via bones, I don't think that is a problem. So I think this technology has more potential as a replacement for a hearing aid( with a reciever outside) than as a phone replacement. :-)
How does one charge such a phone anyway
What's under yellowstone?
If you're interested in bone ressonance headsets for your mobile phone, be sure to check out the Nextlink Bluespoon. Current product is not yet with bone resssonce technology (yet still the most lightweight bluetooth headset ever), but they will come out with a bone ressonance headset this fall.
If not, it will fail...
// deess
"In swedish it's called räksmörgås."
(Does anyone still remember the analog pulse phones?)
free the mallocs!
With a tooth-implanted tranceiver/receiver you could communicate with like equipped people around you. Hearing through the bones in your head and speaking through your voicebox, these communications would be virtually silent.... almost like telepathy.
And one wonders why finding volunteers for fundamental research testing is becoming so hard...
-- Serge K. Keller
Which book was it that had people going mad because of this effect with adverts in the eyes? Was it Diamond Age, or a Gibson? Can't remember, but if we think spam's bad now, we've got some fun in store...
Reality is the ultimate Rorschach.
"Dude, can I borrow your cell phone?"
-
And the Angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots! The cries of the carrots!"
It was Jesus, dammit! Jesus! JEEEESUSSS LIIIVES!!! *cough*
[insert witty comment here]
What if the device is broken, or your phone subscription ends? Won't you hear static for days until it gets fixed? And what about 'snooping'...?
Other vibration related damage...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/health/newsid_179 2000/1792102.stm
Ever considered something vibrating in your head would be as bad as in your hands?
Also, the vibrations would have to go through the jaw's joint if it were on a bottom tooth, and the joint would move and make reception unstable...
So it would have to always be on a top tooth, ever consider what would happen to that particular tooth after vibrating for a few years?
-v
Diamond Age
Slackware: old school feel, new school gear.