Slashdot Mirror

You've been bitching about slashdot ever since I started reading it. I'm still not sure whether you are just some bullshit troll or a whiney pussy who is going to live the rest of his miserable life without ever getting over the censorware project.

I just re-read your post again for another quick laugh: I am especially fond of your "...but let's review the facts." proposition followed by a slew of heavily laden opinions. The reference to "America's favorite web site, the Censorware Project " made me laugh so hard that iced soy chai latte shot out of my nostrils. Jeff K called. He said "YUO=FAGGOT". u r teh sux. plz die tks.

You've been bitching about slashdot ever since I started reading it. I'm still not sure whether you are just some bullshit troll or a whiney pussy who is going to live the rest of his miserable life without ever getting over the censorware project.

I just re-read your post again for another quick laugh: I am especially fond of your "...but let's review the facts." proposition followed by a slew of heavily laden opinions. The reference to "America's favorite web site, the Censorware Project " made me laugh so hard that iced soy chai latte shot out of my nostrils. Jeff K called. He said "YUO=FAGGOT". u r teh sux. plz die tks.

Ok... Say it with me...

G to da mutha phukken oatse
C to da mutha phukken izzzzzzex
HellZ yeah, you know how it is bizznitch

[slashdot.org][slashdot.org]dumbass[slashdot . rg]

Ok... Say it with me...

G to da mutha phukken oatse
C to da mutha phukken izzzzzzex
HellZ yeah, you know how it is bizznitch

[slashdot.org][slashdot.org]dumbass[slashdot . rg]

Ok... Say it with me...

G to da mutha phukken oatse
C to da mutha phukken izzzzzzex
HellZ yeah, you know how it is bizznitch

[slashdot.org][slashdot.org]dumbass[slashdot . rg]

goatse.cx runs linux

Let's hear it for all da logged in trolls! CLIT! Woohoo!

Ok... Say it with me...

G to da mutha phukken oatse
C to da mutha phukken izzzzzzex
HellZ yeah, you know how it is bizznitch

[slashdot.org][slashdot.org]dumbass[slashdot . rg]

Bow down to my ANUS

(Please note that too much of this does lead to wider nostrils and extreme obesity

Jon Barrett has harnessed the power of lasers to be ableto appear on anyone's computer at any time, all while SPOOGING to defend the honour of his Queen, the Queen of Spain.

Well it's been two years and two thousand posts and look at the mess I'm in
A broken heart and an empty journal, an excess of anal skin -
Well I stew and I cook, on my broken down powerbook
And I say about slashdot, that it's not worth another look.

Take away, take away, take away this Karma cap
Well I'm lonely and I'm tired, and I can't read any more crap
Take away, take away, oh my patience surely will snap
Take away, take away, take away - take away this Karma cap

Well I've searched and I've searched, to find the perfect troll
On physics facts or profane shit, or refusal to pay the slashdot toll
But to talk sense on slashdot is to teach a pig to sing -
You can post all day long, and not say anything.

Take away, take away, take away this Karma cap
Well I'm sick and I'm tired, and I can't post any more crap
Take away, take away, oh will Kathleen sit on my lap?
Take away, take away, take away - take away this Karma cap

Well I passed the bar on the way to my dingy hidden sid
I spent all my money - so did LNUX, soon it's delisted
Will I wake up on the Blacklist, or with a Subnet Ban instead?
You don't have to be Kreskin - it's a fact, I'm already dead.

Take away, take away, take away this Karma cap
Well I'm lonely and I'm tired, and I can't post any more crap
Take away, take away, well I do deserve a bitchslap
Take away, take away, take away - take away this Karma cap!

Jon Barrett uses FreeBSD, and it doesn't seem like it's dying to him. Maybe he doesn't notice because he's busy SPOOGING over how much Linux sucks.

The now DEAD Bsd Daemon is wanted for its history of Penguin rape If you see him please shove his head up here Remember that goatse.cx runs on linux, not DeadBSD

Thank you for your cooperation.

This website contains material of a newslike nature. If you are in a country where viewing such material is not legal, please LEAVE NOW.

ENTER HERE. By clicking here, you agree not to link to any page of this website in such a way as to allow any party to bypass this disclaimer.

JON SHUT UP

Jon Barrett says hi~! While SPOOGING for the Queen of Spain. Also, Linux suxorz.

Published under the TPL (Trolling Public License)

usingSystem;
usingSystem.Drawing;
usingSystem.Co llections;
usingSystem.ComponentModel;
usingSyst em.Windows.Forms;
usingSystem.Data;
usingSystem. Data.OleDb;
usingSystem.Runtime.InteropServices;n amespaceSlash man{
publicclassMainFrm:System.Windows.Forms.Form {[DllI mport("winmm.dll")]
publicstaticexternlongPlaySou nd(Stringlpszname,lon ghModule,longdwFlags);privateboolmanualMode=false;
privateboolcontextTroll=false;privateboolcontext Tr ollOnly=false;
privatestringlatestStory="";privat estringlatestSto ryDisplay="";
privatestringlatestURL="";privatest ringlatestTime= "";
privatestringlastStory="";privateintselTroll= 1;
privateSystem.Randomrand=newSystem.Random();pr ivat eDateTimenextCheck=System.DateTime.Now+System.Time Span.FromSeconds(6);
privateSystem.Windows.Forms. Labellabel1;privateSys tem.Windows.Forms.LinkLabellinkURL;
privateSystem .Windows.Forms.LabellabelTime;private System.Windows.Forms.ButtonbuttonCheck;
privatebo oltrying=false;privateSystem.Timers.Timer theTimer;
privateSystem.Windows.Forms.LabellabelN extCheck;pr ivatestringmainURL="http:privatestringreplyURL="ht tp:privateSystem.Data.DataTabletrollTable;
privat eSystem.Data.DataSettrollSet;privateSystem.D ata.DataTablecontextTable;
privateSystem.Data.Dat aSetcontextSet;privateSystem . indows.Forms.ButtonbtnPost;
privateboolisposting= false;privateintpreinctroll=0 ; BR>privatestringdirBase="";privateSystem.Windows.F o rms.ButtonbtnOptions;
privateSystem.Windows.Forms .ContextMenutrayMenu;pr ivateSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItemmenuItem1;
priv ateSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItemmenuItem2;priv ateSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItemmenuItem3;
protec tedSystem.Windows.Forms.NotifyIcontIcon;priv ateSystem.ComponentModel.IContainercomponents;
pr ivateOleDbConnectiondbConn;privateOleDbDataAdapt erdbTrollsAdapter;
privateSystem.Windows.Forms.La bellbResult;privateO leDbDataAdapterdbContextAdapter;
publicMainFrm(){ InitializeComponent();

SlashCfg.SetDefaults();ReadDB();}
protectedover ridevoidDispose(booldisposing){if(dis posing){
if(components!=null){components.Dispose( );}
}base.Dispose(disposing);}
#regionWindowsFor mDesignergeneratedcodeprivatevoid InitializeComponent(){
this.components=newSystem. ComponentModel.Container ();System.Resources.ResourceManagerresources=newSy stem.Resources.ResourceManager(typeof(MainFrm));
this.linkURL=newSystem.Windows.Forms.LinkLabel();t his.label1=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();
this. labelTime=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();thi s.labelNextCheck=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();
this.buttonCheck=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Button() ; this.theTimer=newSystem.Timers.Timer();
this.btnO ptions=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Button();t his.btnPost=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Button();
thi s.tIcon=newSystem.Windows.Forms.NotifyIcon(this . omponents);this.trayMenu=newSystem.Windows.Forms.C ontextMenu();
this.menuItem1=newSystem.Windows.Fo rms.MenuItem(); this.menuItem3=newSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItem();
this.menuItem2=newSystem.Windows.Forms.MenuItem( ); this.lbResult=newSystem.Windows.Forms.Label();
(( System.ComponentModel.ISupportInitialize)(this.t heTimer)).BeginInit();this.SuspendLayout();
this. linkURL.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Point(16,4 8);this.linkURL.Name="linkURL";
this.linkURL.Size =newSystem.Drawing.Size(432,23);t his.linkURL.TabIndex=0;
this.linkURL.LinkClicked+ =newSystem.Windows.Forms. LinkLabelLinkClickedEventHandler(this.linkURL_Link Clicked);this.label1.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Po int(16,16);
this.label1.Name="label1";this.label1 .Size=newSyst em.Drawing.Size(80,23);
this.label1.TabIndex=1;th is.label1.Text="LastCheck : ;
this.labelTime.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Point (10 4,16);this.labelTime.Name="labelTime";
this.label Time.Size=newSystem.Drawing.Size(128,23) ; his.labelTime.TabIndex=2;
this.labelTime.Text="00 :00";this.labelNextCheck.Lo cation=newSystem.Drawing.Point(240,16);
this.labe lNextCheck.Name="labelNextCheck";this.lab elNextCheck.Size=newSystem.Drawing.Size(208,23);
this.labelNextCheck.TabIndex=3;this.labelNextCheck . ext="NextCheckin0Seconds";
this.buttonCheck.Locat ion=newSystem.Drawing.Point( 376,120);this.buttonCheck.Name="buttonCheck";
thi s.buttonCheck.TabIndex=4;this.buttonCheck.Text= "CheckNow";
this.buttonCheck.Click+=newSystem.Eve ntHandler(thi s.buttonCheck_Click);this.theTimer.Enabled=true;
this.theTimer.Interval=1000;this.theTimer.Synchron izingObject=this;
this.theTimer.Elapsed+=newSyste m.Timers.ElapsedEve ntHandler(this.OnFireTimer);this.btnOptions.Locati on=newSystem.Drawing.Point(200,120);
this.btnOpti ons.Name="btnOptions";this.btnOptions. TabIndex=5;
this.btnOptions.Text="Options";this.b tnOptions.Cli ck+=newSystem.EventHandler(this.btnOptions_Click);
this.btnPost.Location=newSystem.Drawing.Point(28 8, 120);this.btnPost.Name="btnPost";
this.btnPost.Ta bIndex=7;this.btnPost.Text="PostNow ";
this.btnPost.Click+=newSystem.EventHandler(thi s.bt nPost_Click);this.tIcon.ContextMenu=this.trayMenu;
this.tIcon.Icon=((System.Drawing.Icon)(resources .G etObject("tIcon.Icon")));this.tIcon.Text="SlashMan ";
this.tIcon.Visible=true;this.tIcon.DoubleClick +=ne wSystem.EventHandler(this.DblClickTrayIcon);
this .trayMenu.MenuItems.AddRange(newSystem.Windows . orms.MenuItem[]{this.menuItem1,
this.menuItem3,th is.menuItem2});
this.menuItem1.DefaultItem=true;t his.menuItem1.Ind ex=0;
this.menuItem1.Text="Open...";this.menuItem 1.Click +=newSystem.EventHandler(this.menuItem1_Click);
t his.menuItem3.Index=1;this.menuItem3.Text="-";
th is.menuItem2.Index=2;this.menuItem2.Text="Exit";
this.menuItem2.Click+=newSystem.EventHandler(this. menuItem2_Click);this.lbResult.Location=newSystem. Drawing.Point(16,80);
this.lbResult.Name="lbResul t";this.lbResult.Size=n ewSystem.Drawing.Size(432,23);
this.lbResult.TabI ndex=8;this.lbResult.Text="LastR esult:None";
this.AutoScaleBaseSize=newSystem.Dra wing.Size(5,13 );this.ClientSize=newSystem.Drawing.Size(472,149);
this.Controls.AddRange(newSystem.Windows.Forms.C on trol[]{this.lbResult,
this.btnPost,this.btnOption s,
this.buttonCheck,this.labelNextCheck,
this.la belTime,this.label1,
this.linkURL});this.Icon=((S ystem.Drawing.Icon)(re sources.GetObject("$this.Icon")));
this.MaximizeB ox=false;this.Name="MainFrm";
this.StartPosition= System.Windows.Forms.FormStartP osition.CenterScreen;this.Text="SlashMan";
this.S izeChanged+=newSystem.EventHandler(this.Size Chang);((System.ComponentModel.ISupportInitialize) (this.theTimer)).EndInit();
this.ResumeLayout(fal se);}#endregion
[STAThread]staticvoidMain(){
App lication.Run(newMainFrm());}privatevoidReadDB() {
try{dirBase=System.Diagnostics.Process.GetCurre ntP rocess().MainModule.FileName;
dirBase=dirBase.Sub string(0,dirBase.LastIndexOf("\ \"));System.IO.Directory.CreateDirectory(dirBase);
stringmdbFile="Provider=Microsoft.Jet.OLEDB.4.0; Da taSource="+dirBase+"\\Slashman.mdb";dbConn=newOleD bConnection(mdbFile);
dbTrollsAdapter=newOleDbDat aAdapter();OleDbCommand dbInsert=newOleDbCommand("INSERTINTOtrolls(ID,Subj ect,Body)Values(?,?,?)",dbConn);
dbInsert.Paramet ers.Add("ID",OleDbType.Numeric,0," ID");dbInsert.Parameters.Add("Subject",OleDbType.V arChar,255,"Subject");
dbInsert.Parameters.Add("B ody",OleDbType.Char,6553 5,"Body");OleDbCommanddbUpdate=newOleDbCommand("UP DATEtrollsSETSubject=?,Body=?WHEREID=?",dbConn);
dbUpdate.Parameters.Add("Subject",OleDbType.VarCha r,255,"Subject");dbUpdate.Parameters.Add("Body",Ol eDbType.Char,65535,"Body");
dbUpdate.Parameters.A dd("ID",OleDbType.Numeric,0," ID");OleDbCommanddbDel=newOleDbCommand("DELETEFROM trollsWHEREID=?",dbConn);
dbDel.Parameters.Add(ne wOleDbParameter("ID",OleDbT ype.Numeric,0,"ID"));dbTrollsAdapter.InsertCommand =dbInsert;
dbTrollsAdapter.UpdateCommand=dbUpdate ;dbTrollsAda pter.DeleteCommand=dbDel;
dbTrollsAdapter.SelectC ommand=newOleDbCommand("SEL ECT*FROMtrolls",dbConn);dbContextAdapter=newOleDbD ataAdapter();
dbContextAdapter.SelectCommand=newO leDbCommand("SE LECT*FROMContext",dbConn);dbConn.Open();
trollSet =newSystem.Data.DataSet("trollset");trollT able=newDataTable("trolls");
dbTrollsAdapter.Fill (trollTable);trollSet.Tables.A dd(trollTable);
if(trollTable.Rows.Count==0){Syst em.Windows.Forms. MessageBox.Show("Thetrollsdatabaseismissingorempty . );
thrownewSystem.Exception("Thetrollsdatabaseism issi ngorempty.");}contextSet=newSystem.Data.DataSet("c ontextset");
contextTable=newDataTable("Context") ;dbContextAdap ter.Fill(contextTable);
contextSet.Tables.Add(con textTable);this.Visible=t rue;
this.Update();}finally{
dbConn.Close();}}
privateboolSendMail(stringfrom,stringto,stringsubj ect,stringbody){try{
System.Web.Mail.MailMessaget heMail=newSystem.Web.M ail.MailMessage();theMail.From="your@email.com";
theMail.To=to;theMail.Subject=subject;
theMail.Bo dy=body;theMail.BodyFormat=System.Web.Ma il.MailFormat.Text;
System.Web.Mail.SmtpMail.Smtp Server="your.server.c om";System.Web.Mail.SmtpMail.Send(theMail);
retur ntrue;}catch(Exceptione){
System.Windows.Forms.Me ssageBox.Show(e.Message);re turnfalse;}
}privatevoidUpdateForm(){
this.label Time.Text=latestTime;this.linkURL.Text=l atestStoryDisplay;}
privatestringGetTaggedText(st ringfrom,stringtagBeg in,stringtagEnd){intbegin=from.IndexOf(tagBegin);
if(begin==-1)thrownewSystem.Exception("tagBeginno t found");stringretstr=from.Substring(begin+tagBegin . ength);
intend=retstr.IndexOf(tagEnd);if(end==-1) thrownewS ystem.Exception("tagEndnotfound");
returnretstr.S ubstring(0,end);}privatestringStripT ags(stringfrom){
stringret=from;intbegin=ret.Inde xOf("");
while(begin=0){intend=ret.IndexOf("",beg in);
if(end==-1)break;ret=ret.Remove(begin,(end-b egin)+ 1);
begin=ret.IndexOf("");}returnret;}
privatest ringGetHref(stringfrom){stringtagHref="AH REF=\"";
stringret=from;intbegin=ret.IndexOf(tagH ref);
if(begin0)thrownewSystem.Exception("GetHref failed( 1).");begin+=tagHref.Length;
intend=ret.IndexOf(" \"",begin);if(end0)thrownewSys tem.Exception("GetHreffailed(2).");
ret=ret.Subst ring(begin,end-begin);if(!ret.StartsW ith("http:"))ret="http:"+ret;
returnret;}privates tringDoHttpPost(stringinURI,Sys tem.Collections.Specialized.NameValueCollectionval ues){
System.Net.WebClientcli=newSystem.Net.WebCl ient(); byte[]resp=cli.UploadValues(inURI,values);
return System.Text.Encoding.ASCII.GetString(resp);} privatestringDoHttpGet(stringinURI){
System.Net.H ttpWebRequestreq=(System.Net.HttpWebRe quest)System.Net.WebRequest.Create(inURI);req.Cook ieContainer=newSystem.Net.CookieContainer();
req. CookieContainer.Add(newSystem.Net.Cookie("user ",SlashCfg.userCookie,"/","slashdot.org"));System. Net.WebResponseresp=req.GetResponse();
System.IO. StreamReadersr=newSystem.IO.StreamReader (resp.GetResponseStream(),System.Text.Encoding.ASC II);returnsr.ReadToEnd();}
privatevoidPrePro(refs tringtheData){theData=theDat a.Replace("Your Rights Online: Where Are You Publishing?",latestStory);
theData=theData.Replac e("191",selTroll.ToString()) ; heData=theData.Replace("193",trollTable.Rows.Count . oString());}
privatevoidUpdateStatus(stringstat){ tIcon.Text=sta t;
labelNextCheck.Text=stat;labelNextCheck.Update ();}
privatevoidPromptTrollData(outstringsubj,out string body){subj="";
body="";GetTrollgt=newGetTroll(lat estStory,latestU RL);
gt.ShowDialog(this);if(!gt.accepted)thrownew System . xception("AbortedEntry");
subj=gt.thesubj;body=gt .thebody;
if((subj=="")||(body==""))thrownewSyste m.Exception ("AbortedEntry");}privatevoidGetTrollData(outstrin gsubj,outstringbody){
inti=contextTable.Rows.Coun t;subj="";
body="";if(contextTroll){
for(i=0;ico ntextTable.Rows.Count;i++){if(latestSto ry.IndexOf(contextTable.Rows[i]["IfContain"].ToStr ing())=0){
intidx=(int)contextTable.Rows[i]["Post "];subj=trol lTable.Rows[idx-1]["Subject"].ToString();
body=tr ollTable.Rows[idx-1]["Body"].ToString();bre ak;}
}}if(i==contextTable.Rows.Count){
if(contex tTrollOnly){thrownewSystem.Exception("Noc ontexttrollexistsforthispost.");}
preinctroll=Sla shCfg.curTrollIndex;if(SlashCfg.cur Troll==0){
SlashCfg.curTrollIndex++;if(SlashCfg.c urTrollIndex =trollTable.Rows.Count)SlashCfg.curTrollIndex=1;
selTroll=SlashCfg.curTrollIndex;}else{
selTroll=S lashCfg.curTroll;}if(selTroll=trollTable . ows.Count){
thrownewSystem.Exception("Theselected trollisgreate rthanthenumberoftrollsinthetable.");}subj=trollTab le.Rows[selTroll]["Subject"].ToString();
body=tro llTable.Rows[selTroll]["Body"].ToString(); }if(SlashCfg.appendPostfix){
body+="P"+SlashCfg.a ppendPosttext;}PrePro(refsubj) ; BR>PrePro(refbody);}privatevoidPostComment(){
/*s tringxtheSubj,xtheBody;
GetTrollData(outxtheSubj, outxtheBody);System.Windo ws.Forms.MessageBox.Show(xtheBody,xtheSubj);
retu rn;*/
if(isposting)return;isposting=true;
if(man ualMode)PlaySound(Application.StartupPath+"\ \alert.wav",0,1);try{
stringtheSubj="",theBody="" ;if(!manualMode){
GetTrollData(outtheSubj,outtheB ody);}UpdateStatus( "Readingcommentspage...");
stringpageText=DoHttpG et(latestURL);stringtagSID=" INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NAME=\"sid\"VALUE=\"";
string tagCID="INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NAME=\"cid\"VALU E=\"";stringtagPID="INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NAME=\"pid \"VALUE=\"";
stringtagKEY="INPUTTYPE=\"HIDDEN\"NA ME=\"formkey\" VALUE=\"";stringtagEND="\"";
stringSID=GetTaggedT ext(pageText,tagSID,tagEND);st ringCID=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagCID,tagEND);
st ringPID=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagPID,tagEND);st ringreplyPage=replyURL+"?";
replyPage+="sid="+SID +"&";replyPage+="pid="+PID+"& ";
replyPage+="cid="+CID+"&";replyPage+="op=Reply &mod e=flat&commentsort=0&threshold=-1";
UpdateStatus( "RequestingReplyPage...");pageText=Do HttpGet(replyPage);
SID=GetTaggedText(pageText,ta gSID,tagEND);PID=GetT aggedText(pageText,tagPID,tagEND);
stringKEY=GetT aggedText(pageText,tagKEY,tagEND);Sy stem.Collections.Specialized.NameValueCollectionnv s=newSystem.Collections.Specialized.NameValueColle ction();
nvs.Add("sid",SID);nvs.Add("pid",PID);
nvs.Add("mode","flat");nvs.Add("startat","");
nvs .Add("threshold","-1");nvs.Add("commentsort","0 ");
nvs.Add("formkey",KEY);nvs.Add("rlogin","1");
nvs.Add("unickname",SlashCfg.username);nvs.Add(" up asswd",SlashCfg.password);
nvs.Add("op","Submit") ;nvs.Add("posttype","1");
if(manualMode){PromptTr ollData(outtheSubj,outtheBo dy);}
else{UpdateStatus("Waiting20seconds...");
System.Threading.Thread.Sleep(21000);}nvs.Add("pos tersubj",theSubj);
nvs.Add("postercomment",theBod y);pageText=DoHttpPo st(replyURL,nvs);
stringtagErrorResult="!--Errort ype:--";stringtagPo stResult="FACE=\"arial,helvetica\"SIZE=\"4\"COLOR= \"#FFFFFF\"B";
stringtagPostResultEnd="/B";string PostResult=GetTa ggedText(pageText,tagPostResult,tagPostResultEnd);
boolisOK=(pageText.IndexOf(tagErrorResult)==-1); if ((!isOK)&&(PostResult=="PostComment")){
try{PostR esult=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagErrorResu lt,".");}catch{}
while((PostResult.Length0)&&((Po stResult[0]32)||(P ostResult[0]127)))PostResult=PostResult.Substring( 1);}if(isOK){
CID=GetTaggedText(pageText,tagCID,t agEND);lbResult . ext="PostedComment";
stringlink="http:}else{
lbR esult.Text="ERROR:"+PostResult;}isposting=false ;
catch(System.Exception){isposting=false;
throw; }UpdateStatus("PostComplete.");}
privatevoidTryRe ad(){if(trying)return;
trying=true;stringtagTitle =@"FACE=""arial,helvetic a""SIZE=""4""COLOR=""#FFFFFF""B";
stringtagTitleE nd="/B";stringtagUrl="PB(/B";
stringtagUrlEnd="BR eadMore.../B";UpdateStatus("Che ckingNow...");
boolretryPost=false;try{
stringpa gestr=DoHttpGet(mainURL);latestStory=Strip Tags(GetTaggedText(pagestr,tagTitle,tagTitleEnd));
latestStoryDisplay=latestStory;latestURL=GetHref (G etTaggedText(pagestr,tagUrl,tagUrlEnd));
latestUR L+="&threshold=-1";latestTime=System.DateT ime.Now.ToString();
if((lastStory.Length0)&&(late stStory!=lastStory)){ PlayAlert();
PostComment();}}
catch(System.Excep tione){if(e.Message.IndexOf("(40 4)")0){
SlashCfg.curTrollIndex=preinctroll;retryP ost=true; }
latestStoryDisplay=e.Message;latestURL="ERROR";
latestTime="ERROR";}if(retryPost==false){
lastS tory=latestStory;nextCheck=DateTime.Now.AddSe conds(SlashCfg.checkIntervalMin+rand.Next(SlashCfg . heckIntervalMax-SlashCfg.checkIntervalMin));}
els e{nextCheck=DateTime.Now.AddSeconds(5);}
UpdateFo rm();trying=false;}
privatevoidbuttonCheck_Click( objectsender,System.E ventArgse){TryRead();}
privatevoidOnFireTimer(obj ectsender,System.Timers. ElapsedEventArgse){if(trying)return;
if(isposting )return;if(DateTime.NownextCheck){
TryRead();}Upd ateStatus("NextCheckin"+(int)((nextC heck-DateTime.Now).TotalSeconds)+"Seconds.");}
pr ivatevoidNavigateLink(){try{System.Diagnostics.P rocess.Start(latestURL);}
catch{}}privatevoidPlay Alert()
{}privatevoidlinkURL_LinkClicked(objectse nder,Syst em.Windows.Forms.LinkLabelLinkClickedEventArgse){
NavigateLink();}privatevoidbtnPost_Click(objectse n der,System.EventArgse){
if((latestURL==null)||(la testURL=="ERROR")||(lates tURL.Length==0)){System.Windows.Forms.MessageBox.S how("Mustgetthepostfirst!(PressCheckNow)","Error", System.Windows.Forms.MessageBoxButtons.OK,System.W indows.Forms.MessageBoxIcon.Stop);
return;}try{
PostComment();}catch{}}
privatevoidbtnOptions_Cli ck(objectsender,System.Ev entArgse){Slashman.OptionsFrmopts=newSlashman.Opti onsFrm();
opts.trollTable=trollTable;opts.ShowDia log(this);
if(opts.pressedOK){dbTrollsAdapter.Upd ate(trollTab le);
trollTable.AcceptChanges();}else{
trollTabl e.RejectChanges();}}
privatevoidShowMe(){this.Vis ible=true;
this.Activate();this.WindowState=Syste m.Windows.Fo rms.FormWindowState.Normal;}
privatevoidHideMe(){ this.Visible=false;}
privatevoidmenuItem1_Click(o bjectsender,System.Eve ntArgse){ShowMe();}
privatevoidmenuItem2_Click(ob jectsender,System.Eve ntArgse){this.Close();}
privatevoidSizeChang(obje ctsender,System.EventArgs e){if(this.WindowState==System.Windows.Forms.FormW indowState.Minimized){
HideMe();}}
privatevoidDb lClickTrayIcon(objectsender,System.Ev entArgse){ShowMe();}
}}

If MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ever meets you, he will kick your ass. If I ever meet you, I will also kick your ass. If Cowbow Neal ever meets you, this will be your ass.

By the way, I hate Microsoft so you cannot mod me down.

Q: How did the Y2K bug keep time?

A: It had a FALSE ALARM CLOCK!

It makes me laugh so hard I SPOOGE! Jon Barrett is laughing all the way in Spain at this joke!

That's exactly what this guy said - and look where it got him!!

Should you be obligied to admit that you seen this site

I think you should! Nearly every one on the internet has been tricked into visiting this site some time in their lives!

We-ee-all. Them peoples dat modded me down're just jealush cuss dey don't gots a bumper dumper t' sits on whilst dey looks at goatse

Jon Barrett wants royalties for his used SPOOGE, every time it's transferred from Spain to another country.

well. thats. just. great.
so now, the RIAA/MPAA is going to have more ammunition in the War Against Piracy(tm). So now, not only will they be able to justify the royalties paid for every piece of recordable digital meda sold, they plan on charging money for used cd's sold. What next? A premium paid per gigabit of broadband data transferred to make up for P2P file sharing?
Im definately not the first person to say this, but "Something ought to be done." It's pretty damn rediculous when we hear things like: "One proposed remedy being debated by record label executives is federal legislation requiring used-CD retailers to pay royalties on secondary sales of albums." Well, thats nice; im glad that the record label executives are able to decide federal legislation for us now.
just my $.02

mod this inwards.

Contain this image in as few lines of C code as possible without ANY external references :)

No, it isn't goats.ex, it's goatse.cx.

You don't want to mistype the name as some people haven't gotten to see it yet.

Mod up some of those badass Deceptive Goatse links!!

Index of /contrib

Your Trolling Community Needs YOU! Update and re-post this article, and get the message out to the Free (as in Cheap) Software World!

This FAQ is designed to give tips on trolling on Slashdot, created in celebration of Blackout Week. It is dedicated to all hard-working trolls and crapflooders.

What are some good trolling tips?
Trolling is all about making people think you care, and so winding up those who care for real. Think of it like shooting a deer in front of an anti-hunt protester, or eating a Big Mac in front of a vegan. Here are some ideas for making your troll work:

1. To start off, make sure your post gets noticed -- log in, post early (after 50 +1 comments have been posted to an article, forget it), and make sure to use your +1 bonus.
2. Ensure your posting history doesn't show a history of dubious posts. Some advise (incorrectly) to stagger your trolls, but this is in fact time wasting and only helps Slashdot in the long run. If you have a doubt, just create a new account, or even post anonymous -- an effective troll, posted early enough, will gain a +1 quickly.
3. Learn from the marketing droids -- a mixture of truth and lies leaves the potential client without a clue as to which is which. Geeks smell pure bullshit, because it reminds them of their bedroom smell (see also "karma whoring" below).
4. Follow up. Keep a window open on your troll, and reload to see if people bite. Perhaps post an AC reply agreeing or disagreeing with your own post. Reply to later posts referring to your earlier post to back up your point.
5. If you get a dreaded (-1, Troll), don't be ashamed to post the well-known, "Mods on Crack!" rant. Explain, rationally, and not as yourself why you agree with the original post, and why it's a fair point.

How do I crapflood?
A crapflood is an (intentionally) content-free post. Here are some suggestions for the source of your crapflood -- remember to take care with repetition, odd characters, or repetition, to get past the lameness filter:

1. your local dictionary file, e.g. /usr/share/dict/words on BSDs
2. your local real names file, e.g. /usr/share/dict/propernames on BSDs
3. a copy-paste part of a web page (for extra amusement, copy-paste from Slashdot itself)
4. a UU-encoded newsgroup file
5. some output from a lorem ipsum generator
6. examples of your latest spams, particularly those in Korean
7. allowing your cat to walk across the keyboard for a few minutes.

How do I widen pages?
A method is known and delivered to us by the beautiful Klerck which currently works in Internet Explorer alone. This will therefore ruin the browsing experience of by far the majority of Slashdot readers. Start with the text:

http://www.eveeieyhfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgabc /

then repeat /ooieiabdcdjsvbkeldfogjhiyeeejkagclmieooionoepdk /

How do I karma whore?
"Karma whoring" is the practice of gaining moderation points for their own sake. It is particularly useful in techniques for defeating the moderation system. Some tips for karma whoring are:

1. If the site containing the actual article is not on a fast server (i.e. is not a "big site"), re-post the article with subject, "the article -- in case the site gets slashdotted". Make sure this comes as early as possible in the list of comments, to avoid the dreaded (-1, Redundant).
2. If any article pops up on Microsoft, write a stock two paragraphs explaining why Microsoft is immoral, and why the event described cannot happen with Free Software. I shall not supply text, because tests have shown that moderators are not completely stupid, and can identify duplicate posts (this is actually helpful in defeating the moderation system, see below).
3. For any article discussing a particular company, state that you worked there, and offer your "inside knowledge". Note that geeks do visit Slashdot, so do not fall into the trap of being too obvious a fraud -- a mistake made by such amateur trolls as PhysicsGenius, who must now suffer a life of instant down-modding.

How do I defeat the moderation system?
The moderation system is far from flawless. Here are some ways to devalue it:

1. If you have moderator points, for goodness sake abuse them! How about moderating up a First Post, a crapflood, or best of all, this very FAQ? It would be a crime to allow such an easily abused system to work.
2. Copy the text of another person's post, and paste it as a reply to an earlier post. Most people read oldest messages first, so they will consider yours to be the first message, and the later message to be "redundant". This is great for annoying karma whores.

How do I defeat authentication?
Don't. The FBI will arrest you for being a terrorist. Instead, make an authoritative nick like CmdrTaco (editor). The majority of people are easily fooled, and will be likely to take notice of and respond to your post, and even moderate it up. Think of it like Lunix Turvalds walking into the room -- people listen to what he has to say, and don't dare disagree.

How do I defeat the goatse link early warning system?
Simple -- use one of the many foolishly implemented redirector URLs hosted on well-known sites. Here's an innocuous recent example which pretends to link to the highly informative about.com, but in fact links to a site of the popular 90's lesbian band The Spice Girls: Informative link which will get me karma [about.com]

What are some excellent sites to sneakily link to?
Mostly, you should link to gay porn. If you are reading this FAQ, you already know the URLs, so I don't need to supply them, except to say that it's almost an initiation ceremony in Slashdot trolling to link to goatse [goatse.cx].

Administrativa

How do I justify the existence of this FAQ?
Slashdot is full of people who support unlicensed weapons ownership and dissemination of bomb creation documents -- in short, they support freedom, even when that freedom could cause harm. This document should be considered as that very freedom in action. Indeed, to disparage or moderate down this document would be un-American, and the FBI are likely to arrest you for being a terrorist.

How do I add to or change this FAQ?
Simply re-post the FAQ on Slashdot, adding an appropriate question, and incrementing the version number by 1. Before doing so, please try to ensure you have the latest version, and remember to keep this post W3C compliant!

How else can I help with the Troll and Crapflooding Cause?
Moderate this post up, re-post it, put it in your journal, and upload it on your website. Thanks!

Your Trolling Community Needs YOU! Update and re-post this article, and get the message out to the Free (as in Cheap) Software World!

This FAQ is designed to give tips on trolling on Slashdot, created in celebration of Blackout Week. It is dedicated to all hard-working trolls and crapflooders.

What are some good trolling tips?
Trolling is all about making people think you care, and so winding up those who care for real. Think of it like shooting a deer in front of an anti-hunt protester, or eating a Big Mac in front of a vegan. Here are some ideas for making your troll work:

1. To start off, make sure your post gets noticed -- log in, post early (after 50 +1 comments have been posted to an article, forget it), and make sure to use your +1 bonus.
2. Ensure your posting history doesn't show a history of dubious posts. Some advise (incorrectly) to stagger your trolls, but this is in fact time wasting and only helps Slashdot in the long run. If you have a doubt, just create a new account, or even post anonymous -- an effective troll, posted early enough, will gain a +1 quickly.
3. Learn from the marketing droids -- a mixture of truth and lies leaves the potential client without a clue as to which is which. Geeks smell pure bullshit, because it reminds them of their bedroom smell (see also "karma whoring" below).
4. Follow up. Keep a window open on your troll, and reload to see if people bite. Perhaps post an AC reply agreeing or disagreeing with your own post. Reply to later posts referring to your earlier post to back up your point.
5. If you get a dreaded (-1, Troll), don't be ashamed to post the well-known, "Mods on Crack!" rant. Explain, rationally, and not as yourself why you agree with the original post, and why it's a fair point.

How do I crapflood?
A crapflood is an (intentionally) content-free post. Here are some suggestions for the source of your crapflood -- remember to take care with repetition, odd characters, or repetition, to get past the lameness filter:

1. your local dictionary file, e.g. /usr/share/dict/words on BSDs
2. your local real names file, e.g. /usr/share/dict/propernames on BSDs
3. a copy-paste part of a web page (for extra amusement, copy-paste from Slashdot itself)
4. a UU-encoded newsgroup file
5. some output from a lorem ipsum generator
6. examples of your latest spams, particularly those in Korean
7. allowing your cat to walk across the keyboard for a few minutes.

How do I widen pages?
A method is known and delivered to us by the beautiful Klerck which currently works in Internet Explorer alone. This will therefore ruin the browsing experience of by far the majority of Slashdot readers. Start with the text:

http://www.eveeieyhfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgabc /

then repeat /ooieiabdcdjsvbkeldfogjhiyeeejkagclmieooionoepdk /

How do I karma whore?
"Karma whoring" is the practice of gaining moderation points for their own sake. It is particularly useful in techniques for defeating the moderation system. Some tips for karma whoring are:

1. If the site containing the actual article is not on a fast server (i.e. is not a "big site"), re-post the article with subject, "the article -- in case the site gets slashdotted". Make sure this comes as early as possible in the list of comments, to avoid the dreaded (-1, Redundant).
2. If any article pops up on Microsoft, write a stock two paragraphs explaining why Microsoft is immoral, and why the event described cannot happen with Free Software. I shall not supply text, because tests have shown that moderators are not completely stupid, and can identify duplicate posts (this is actually helpful in defeating the moderation system, see below).
3. For any article discussing a particular company, state that you worked there, and offer your "inside knowledge". Note that geeks do visit Slashdot, so do not fall into the trap of being too obvious a fraud -- a mistake made by such amateur trolls as PhysicsGenius, who must now suffer a life of instant down-modding.

How do I defeat the moderation system?
The moderation system is far from flawless. Here are some ways to devalue it:

1. If you have moderator points, for goodness sake abuse them! How about moderating up a First Post, a crapflood, or best of all, this very FAQ? It would be a crime to allow such an easily abused system to work.
2. Copy the text of another person's post, and paste it as a reply to an earlier post. Most people read oldest messages first, so they will consider yours to be the first message, and the later message to be "redundant". This is great for annoying karma whores.

How do I defeat authentication?
Don't. The FBI will arrest you for being a terrorist. Instead, make an authoritative nick like CmdrTaco (editor). The majority of people are easily fooled, and will be likely to take notice of and respond to your post, and even moderate it up. Think of it like Lunix Turvalds walking into the room -- people listen to what he has to say, and don't dare disagree.

How do I defeat the goatse link early warning system?
Simple -- use one of the many foolishly implemented redirector URLs hosted on well-known sites. Here's an innocuous recent example which pretends to link to the highly informative about.com, but in fact links to a site of the popular 90's lesbian band The Spice Girls: Informative link which will get me karma [about.com]

What are some excellent sites to sneakily link to?
Mostly, you should link to gay porn. If you are reading this FAQ, you already know the URLs, so I don't need to supply them, except to say that it's almost an initiation ceremony in Slashdot trolling to link to goatse [goatse.cx].

Administrativa

How do I justify the existence of this FAQ?
Slashdot is full of people who support unlicensed weapons ownership and dissemination of bomb creation documents -- in short, they support freedom, even when that freedom could cause harm. This document should be considered as that very freedom in action. Indeed, to disparage or moderate down this document would be un-American, and the FBI are likely to arrest you for being a terrorist.

How do I add to or change this FAQ?
Simply re-post the FAQ on Slashdot, adding an appropriate question, and incrementing the version number by 1. Before doing so, please try to ensure you have the latest version, and remember to keep this post W3C compliant!

How else can I help with the Troll and Crapflooding Cause?
Moderate this post up, re-post it, put it in your journal, and upload it on your website. Thanks!

Will we find a comparable planet to Uranus?

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Use of gnome has been known to cause ANAL INFECTIONS!

Use KDE! The best linux desktop thats NOT GAY!

It brings me great amusement to note that TrollTech was announced the winner. DE ROL LOL. DE ROL LOL. DE ROL LOL. Now if only there could be actual anti-troll technology to rid slashdot of posters perpatrating such idiocies as goatse links and claims of first (insert comment here). Irrelevancies also...
jeez guys, we could keep things on topic.
LINUX SUX LINUX SUX.
Follow these guidelines and you'll never be a zero!
OR at least not a -1.

this isnt a racist thing though is it?

You want us to become whiter? Fuck off nazi. you can take your stalanitism and go fuck a goat or something.

Would there be any way to convert Jon Barrett's picture to homey? I would like to know how much basketball he can play.

Jon Barrett SPOOGES for Spain! Linux sucks! DO IT FOR MEGUMI!
I DO IT WRONG
VIOLATE YOUR SALTY COMPRESSION WITH MY CHEESEDICK

I am megumi who are the 18 year old females from Tokyo Japan. You americans may not think we Japanese like the slahdots but we dos! I reply to this flamebaiting who is vigorously trampling the supporting Linuxers.
May I asking the valid nature this person underposts? One TROLL I think this poster of anon deserves to be getting is the exit window towards the behind of the Internet browsing!
Excuse my English please I know is not good.
I leaving with the tradition of "slashbot" and "trolling" by saying the first poster of "flamebait" must beget his informations HERE about why the Linux "sucks".
Thanks you.
Megumi.

Sir, you have achieved one of the greatest honours that can be given to a single man. Jon Barrett would be here to give the award, but he is busy fighting for the honour of Spain. So without further ado, I present to you:

The GREAT SPOOGE Award.
8====D~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~!

With this award comes a great amount of responsibility.. You must adhere to the rules of conduct:
1. The prestige given by the award must be used only for the honour, and not the dishonour, of Spain.
2. If at any time you are wearing anything bearing the symbol on your head, you must remember rule #1, and not wear it in a dishonouring fashion.

Thanks for playing!

You're right! Just look at how many people DIDN'T mod up that comment! Timmy needs your help! Jon Barrett is helping Little Timmy every way he can, and so should you! I'll bet that if Timmy gets enough karma, he'll be cured and will be so healthy it'll make you SPOOGE!

Why is it that Linux sucks so much ass? I'd like to know! I tried asking Jon Barrett, my consultant, but he didn't have an answer! For now, I'll just go on using Windows while Jon jams mighty hard on his FreeBSD, and laughing till i SPOOGE at all those silly Linux users.

Why is it that Linux sucks so much ass? I'd like to know! I tried asking Jon Barrett, my consultant, but he didn't have an answer! For now, I'll just go on using Windows while Jon jams mighty hard on his FreeBSD, and laughing till i SPOOGE at all those silly Linux users.

good work, now go get som goat!. BOY!

Wow, that's a really helpful hint! It's enough to make Jon Barrett SPOOGE!

If you have a real good one, you can look at Jon Barrett and watch him display his MAD SKILLZ at website making. ALL WHILE CHEATING ON A TEST!!! The endless possibilities make me SPOOGE!

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Well, they seem to have pulled the numbers from their ass. Jon Barrett has a very wide ass, and it may facilitate easy pulling-stuff-out-of. Coincidence? Actually yes, since Jon is in no way affiliated with anyone.