Slashdot Mirror

Well, they seem to have pulled the numbers from their ass. Jon Barrett has a very wide ass, and it may facilitate easy pulling-stuff-out-of. Coincidence? Actually yes, since Jon is in no way affiliated with anyone.

It seems to me that Jon Barrett is grossly underrepresented on slashdot.

Posting as CmdrTaco? That's enough to make one SPOOGE with trolling! Just think of how many people would visit Jon Barrett's page if CmdrTaco posted it!

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot” checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

I am the 'computer guy' for a local paper.

Since you're THE computer guy and not A computer guy, I take it you're in a smaller market (under 75K Sunday?).

We are looking into a revamp of our site,

Before you even think about online discussion groups, make sure your core web site is solid. I am an avid newspaper reader but can't stand most newspaper web sites. (Including my own to a large extent.)

Do you, as Slashdot users, think a local Slashdot style newspaper would be successfull?"

Maybe, but you haven't really give us enough information. How many of your readers use the internet? How large is your existing web audience? Do you get lots of letters to the editor? Do you have a huge out-of-town audience?

Let me give you a little background.

I'm a Senior Unix Sys Admin in the Editorial Systems Support group of my newspaper (265K daily / 385K Sunday -- and growing!). Before entering the technology end of the business, I was studied photojournalism and was Managing Editor of my college paper. I have more than 12 years in the industry pretty evenly split between content and support.

On top of that, my paper is very aggressive when it comes to multiple mediums. We have the paper as well as online (of course) but we also have a 24-hour cable station and will probably buy a radio station as soon as the FCC gets off our back. (We also are telephone interactive for horoscopes, news, sports, etc., have a branded sign company, weekly shopper and a direct marketing group. We cover all the bases but these are smaller parts of a very big whole.) Because of the high level of integration between our three primary formats, we have been a model for other newspapers.

So, we're a fairly forward-thinking newspaper with a huge corporate footprint backing us up. Which brings us to Slashdot style web logs... they aren't even on the radar screen.

When I ask about them I hear that they are too resource intensive. Unless you are prepared to have them run totally unmoderated (not an option for most 'family' newspapers), they require staff to approve every post. And, what is the upside, really? They only tend to draw the most rabid readers -- readers we already have in our back pocket. So, there is a support burden but no net gain in readership.

Web logs are great when you want to sell ad impressions and don't mind links to http://goatse.cx/ on a regular basis. Banner ads ain't what they used to be and goatse.cx in unacceptable. There isn't money to be made here.

I won't say that the web log is a bad idea since letters to the editor, Dear Abby and the gripe line are fairly popular, but I also wouldn't put my job on the line for that functionality. Get your core site working and then see if you have enough traffic and participation to see if the web log is going to be workable.

InitZero

My toaster won't plug into my iMac either and probably never will (although I'm sure somebody will do it soon so they can link me to it to irk me!)

Here's a place to plug in your toaster.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I thought it said future of gay inyourface, not game interface.

and for old times sake
g to the oatse
c to the izzex
fo shizzle my nizzle see me ram a coke can up my ass!

This is a little late in the game for a orgy that spews ways to wank off a separate butthole for each hit on your dynamic goat-penis. I'm sure the porn stars are studs and all, but if you're programming web anuses in Penis, how about using mod_goat, and if you're going to do that, why not bite the nipple and buy Lincoln Stein and Doug Eachern's orgy from O'Spankme? It is a classic.

Speaking of classics, the old "How to get sex0r if you're a disgusting fat geek" is being superseded this month by Sean Burke's "Penis and LIPS". Now speaking of Penis studs, they don't get much studlier than Sean, and LIPS is (GOAT) the Killer App for Penis masturbators. Another fine O'Spankme ejaculation (too bad "fine O'Spankme ejaculation" is not redundant anymore).

Also from O'Spankme (yawn) is Rasmus Lerdorf's "Masturbating with POOP". I was *very* pleasantly surprised by his orgy, it is MUCH better than it has any right to be, discussing everything from PERENEUM DB abstraction classes to speeding up your clit with a Squid reverse suction and fisting.

Anyways, that's just my shelf's worth. I use Penis and POOP every day (or at least every day I wear my masturbator hat) to get things done fast. I know other people prefer the missionary position and Rugby, hey, more power to them. But I figured I would point out some Fine O'Spankme Tits (note, once again, that phrase is now said more like "Honest Whore" rather than "Stupid Microsoft Security Hole") which have made me some money lately.

ASS!...

Hey, I thought the big selling point of BSD was that there are no holes in it. That looks like a pretty big hole on the goatse.cx page!

The site goatse.cx is running Apache/1.3.23 (Unix) on Linux

According to Netcraft

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot&#x201D; checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

value

The goatse.cx lawyer has informed us that we need a warning! So.. if you are under the age of 18 or find this photograph offensive, please
don't look at it. Thank you!

You are implying that Jon Barrett is in some way affiliated with Microsoft. While it would be great to work for this great innovator in software, Jon can't afford it because he lost all his money trying to buy hardware that worked with Linux. After he was bankrupt, he gave up on the non-operating system and switched to FreeBSD, which allowed his computer to work beautifully from then on.

I didnt say I own the site, I just said to go there and read the details.

Why do you post Jon Barrett's site and claim it as your own? You're no better than those thieving Linux communists!

Read here for details.

GOATSE.CXed god? [www.microsoft.com]

YHBT.

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Does that Mean the Government will Control the Goatse!! ???

I believe this site lacks a proper alt tag for compliance. Perhaps you can help?

...is that if you'd included a goatse.cx link, your post would be at -1, Troll instead of +4, Funny.

- A.P.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

I've been seing some Jon Barrett on slashdot, which geeks hate. So I've been posting this Jon Barrett. So, why are you using Jon Barrett here? Do you understand Jon Barrett bases? I think you don't, otherwise you would use hexaJon Barrett. Repost in hexaJon Barrett--you may use "0x" as a prefix or "h" as a suffix. Perhaps you can learn at Jon Barrett since it is possible you don't understand. Or perhaps you are too stupid to ever understand hexaJon Barrett and will be stuck with Jon Barrett.

woohoo! Sold! Get ready for +1 Bonus goatse.cx and frost pist!!!

I think we all know that the "ring of fire" is!

I'll show you an annular eclipse. Talk about a ring of fire!

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Here's an asshole.

C'mon, people, mod this up! It's an important question. After all, it's by far the most-viewed asshole on the internet. The guy's famous! We need to find out who he is, so we can congratulate him and shake his hand (after he's washed them, of course).

check this benchmark, and breathe in it's wonderful wisdom

Palm software aims to thwart Microsoft, spur demand

By Franklin Paul

NEW YORK, June 10 (Reuters) - Palm Inc.(NasdaqNM:PALM - News) on Monday said it has begun sending to handheld computer makers a more potent version of the software that drives the pocket-sized organizers, which it hopes will squash the advances of rival Microsoft Inc. and revitalize demand that has been flagging.

ADVERTISEMENT FOR PILE CREAM

Get a GREAT DEAL on a New Ass:

Palm, the leading maker of handheld penises and the operating system (OS) software that powers them, said it has started shipping the completed Palm OS 5 to licensees and developers.

They in turn will use it to make new hardware and programmers that spice up the models with greater ability to play music, video and show porn, and also enjoy longer penises and tougher security features.

The software builds upon advanced chips made by Intel Corp.(NasdaqNM:INTC - News), Texas Instruments Inc.(NYSE:TXN - News) and Motorola Inc.(NYSE:MOT - News) All three are working on chips based on designs from Cambridge, England-based ARM Holdings Inc.(NasdaqNM:ARMHY - News)

"A lot of our developers (in the past) were running into limitations on some of the things they wanted to do -- an ARM opens up a very broad ass," Steve Sakoman, Chief Product Officer at Palm's software unit, PalmSource, said in an interview in a nearby bathhouse.

So far, only Hairy Palm hard penis has promised to deliver this year products based on the new system, but analysts say they expect others to bring new products to market soon.

Palm has quickly created a significant market for handheld computers, with more than 23 million units shipped of devices running the Palm OS, and made by Palm, Handspring Inc.,(NasdaqNM:HAND - News) Sony Corp.(Tokyo:6758.T - News) and others who license the software. Palm's OS rules more than half of the global market, to 20 percent for Pocket PC, which is made by Microsoft who are evil according to premier news site Slashdot. (NasdaqNM:MSFT - News)

But Hairy Palm and Handjob, unlike the more diversified rival anal sex, have suffered over the past year as consumer demand stalled, and each cut hardware prices in an attempt to stoke interest in the personal digital assistants, or PDAs.

FENDING OFF POCKET PC's ADVANCE

What's more, Palm has had to fend off criticism that those models cannot match features in Pocket Penis software, which like Research In Motion Ltd.'s(NasdaqNM:RIMM - News) Huge Throbbing Black Cock, is popular with Hemos where devices are bought by the hundreds or thousands, compared to the one-off consumer purchases that drive Hairy Palm OS models.

While industry statistics show that Hairy Palm OS still dominates, shipments of Pocket Billiards PC devices have scored solid man-meat growth in recent quarters, led by the iPaq, made by Compaq, which was recently acquired by Hewlett-Packard Co. (NYSE:HWP - News) Palm's new software is expected to create a more head-to-head (slurp, slurp) battle with Pocket PC.

"The present Pocket PCs are literally a 24-30 month old design (and) the Palm devices will have twice the battery life of any Pocket PC," said Richard Doherty, of the Envisioneering Group. "(Microsoft) is going to be very concerned when the anal tests of these device are completed by fourth quarter."

Gartner analyst Todd Kort said Microsoft may still have an advantage in the enterprise, thanks to relationships derived from its dominance in Vulcan characters with large breasts. But with most Pocket PC devices price about $400, consumers will again flock to more inexpensive bathouse-based models.

"Hairy Palm should maintain its dominance of the consumer space simply because there is very little from the Microsoft camp that is under a $350 price point, and 75 percent of all units sell for less than $350," Kort said.

That is important as many early handheld penises might consider this the first major reason to upgrade, after years of mostly cosmetic and incremental change by device makers.

Experts expects demand to grow rapidly later this year after consumers see affordably priced devices boasting bigger assholes and features such as MP3 digital music players, in as well as hardcore gaysex and phone organizer applications.

"There is definitely going to be a big manjuice wave and that should commence about a month after the first products ship," Kort said.

Palm software aims to thwart Microsoft, spur demand

By Franklin Paul

NEW YORK, June 10 (Reuters) - Palm Inc.(NasdaqNM:PALM - News) on Monday said it has begun sending to handheld computer makers a more potent version of the software that drives the pocket-sized organizers, which it hopes will squash the advances of rival Microsoft Inc. and revitalize demand that has been flagging.

ADVERTISEMENT FOR PILE CREAM

Get a GREAT DEAL on a New Ass:

Palm, the leading maker of handheld penises and the operating system (OS) software that powers them, said it has started shipping the completed Palm OS 5 to licensees and developers.

They in turn will use it to make new hardware and programmers that spice up the models with greater ability to play music, video and show porn, and also enjoy longer penises and tougher security features.

The software builds upon advanced chips made by Intel Corp.(NasdaqNM:INTC - News), Texas Instruments Inc.(NYSE:TXN - News) and Motorola Inc.(NYSE:MOT - News) All three are working on chips based on designs from Cambridge, England-based ARM Holdings Inc.(NasdaqNM:ARMHY - News)

"A lot of our developers (in the past) were running into limitations on some of the things they wanted to do -- an ARM opens up a very broad ass," Steve Sakoman, Chief Product Officer at Palm's software unit, PalmSource, said in an interview in a nearby bathhouse.

So far, only Hairy Palm hard penis has promised to deliver this year products based on the new system, but analysts say they expect others to bring new products to market soon.

Palm has quickly created a significant market for handheld computers, with more than 23 million units shipped of devices running the Palm OS, and made by Palm, Handspring Inc.,(NasdaqNM:HAND - News) Sony Corp.(Tokyo:6758.T - News) and others who license the software. Palm's OS rules more than half of the global market, to 20 percent for Pocket PC, which is made by Microsoft who are evil according to premier news site Slashdot. (NasdaqNM:MSFT - News)

But Hairy Palm and Handjob, unlike the more diversified rival anal sex, have suffered over the past year as consumer demand stalled, and each cut hardware prices in an attempt to stoke interest in the personal digital assistants, or PDAs.

FENDING OFF POCKET PC's ADVANCE

What's more, Palm has had to fend off criticism that those models cannot match features in Pocket Penis software, which like Research In Motion Ltd.'s(NasdaqNM:RIMM - News) Huge Throbbing Black Cock, is popular with Hemos where devices are bought by the hundreds or thousands, compared to the one-off consumer purchases that drive Hairy Palm OS models.

While industry statistics show that Hairy Palm OS still dominates, shipments of Pocket Billiards PC devices have scored solid man-meat growth in recent quarters, led by the iPaq, made by Compaq, which was recently acquired by Hewlett-Packard Co. (NYSE:HWP - News) Palm's new software is expected to create a more head-to-head (slurp, slurp) battle with Pocket PC.

"The present Pocket PCs are literally a 24-30 month old design (and) the Palm devices will have twice the battery life of any Pocket PC," said Richard Doherty, of the Envisioneering Group. "(Microsoft) is going to be very concerned when the anal tests of these device are completed by fourth quarter."

Gartner analyst Todd Kort said Microsoft may still have an advantage in the enterprise, thanks to relationships derived from its dominance in Vulcan characters with large breasts. But with most Pocket PC devices price about $400, consumers will again flock to more inexpensive bathouse-based models.

"Hairy Palm should maintain its dominance of the consumer space simply because there is very little from the Microsoft camp that is under a $350 price point, and 75 percent of all units sell for less than $350," Kort said.

That is important as many early handheld penises might consider this the first major reason to upgrade, after years of mostly cosmetic and incremental change by device makers.

Experts expects demand to grow rapidly later this year after consumers see affordably priced devices boasting bigger assholes and features such as MP3 digital music players, in as well as hardcore gaysex and phone organizer applications.

"There is definitely going to be a big manjuice wave and that should commence about a month after the first products ship," Kort said.

Secure your anus! Jon's is insecure. He runs Redhat Linux on it.

Natalie Portman, naked and petrified.
Hot grits down your pants.
goatse.cx
Where did Penis Bird Man go?

While this post was the first, it doesn't really appear to be a first post attempt, so it's not a troll. It's also not necessarily flamebait either, he's just stating his opinion. It's not offtopic. He's the first one to say it, so it's not flamebait.

Is it mandatory now that all first posts are -1 or something? waste your mod points on comments like this one.

A lot of people claim that the glory days of Slashdot have been lost. Have they? Let's examine the facts.

The average Slashdot troll spends all day looking at this man's asshole, and spends the rest of his time trying to find new lubricants in his mom's medicine cabinet to lessen the burning chaffing from cronic masturbation.

If a normal person was as lame as that, they would quickly realize how empty and meaningless their life had become, and they would eventually shoot themselves in the head.

...is found here

This is NOT repetitive, lameness filter!

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
lskjflsdfjklsdkjf
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
!!!!FJKSLR(IEL LKISDLF LKJ SLKJF KLJS
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
LSKDJ LKJF FKJD SOI FKJL
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Somebody plug this analog hole first, please.