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There's an app for that.
To be fair, it's not that there are no shells in the future.
It's closer to three shells being not nearly enough for an ass of the future. Poopstagram is the next big thing... you'll see.

As for the movie... depends who you ask.
I have no idea why would anyone ask Stallone, being that his character explicitly doesn't know how to use them, but people did ask. The answer was... what could have been expected.

Bullock showed a bit more of intuitive understanding and imagination.

But if you ask the guy who wrote it... it's all just bullshit.

Scarcity of toilet rolls seen as part of 'general malaise' in which Venezuelans have to use guile during shortage in many staples

Clearly Venezuela is just a front runner in innovation. It is about to invent the 3 seashells!

Others have attempted the explanation, but clearly it is fake.

http://www.poopreport.com/BMnewswire/three_seashells_solved_kinda.html

On the other hand, Venezuela could just save some paper and use Japanese toilets.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan

FYI people, toilet paper is not even used in many parts of the world. And just a few decades ago, it wasn't even readily available in some parts of Europe.

And shortages in Venezuela are brought around by one thing - price controls. That's by definition what price controls bring you. So if you have shortages like that, the only solution is to bring back rationing or stop price controls - it's actually the same thing.

Follow-up: what do you suppose are some of the best ways to defend against tyranny?

Moat. Can't go wrong with a moat.

Yes you can!

There's even a diagram on how to use them here.

But, considering what is seen here, I do believe that something along the lines of wash-dry-perfume bidet is actually the correct answer.
Or should be.

Yep, but you usually output about 100-200 gr of feces (that's the figure I remember from my Physiology class, can't find a citation; The best I found on-line is here). Since we usually eat a lot more than that, the mass should be leaving the body by other means. We don't lose much heavy molecules through the urine and perspiration. The latter contains mostly water and salts, while the former also contains some waste molecules, but not in a meaningful amount (weight-wise). That leaves only one other venue - CO2 in our respiration.

Bingo: water.
Not just feces and urine should account for a lot of what comes out, most folks forget that most things we eat also have a lot of water.

Also your conclusion is wrong, since breathing puts out a lot of water (as does keeping our skin nice-looking; "hydrating" creams acts by sucking water from the lower skins layers to the top).

I think the amount of carbon we emit in the form of CO2 has got to be puny. But let's see:

Normal breathing uses 6 l/min of air and when it comes out it goes from 0.04% CO2 to (4 to) 5% CO2.

Now, 6 l/min = 8640 l/day or (340 to) 430 liter of CO2 exhaled per day. That's (630 to) 790 gram of CO2 output per day. That is actually in line with an estimation of 1 kg.

But the O2 was not actually coming from us; it is taken from the air and given back with the C attached to it. The carbon atom is 27.3% of the CO2 atomic mass, so we are actually putting out (172 to) 216 gram of carbon per day.

So let's peg that as 200 gram/day of matter output through CO2 rejection. Now, to put this into perspective, we need to somehow estimate how much mass a person inputs per day. The problem is that this varies wildly. I think we can agree on 2 kg/day of water from drinking fluids. On top of this we have food; I just looked up a couple of snacks (150 g) and instant meals (350 g) and I think that a 3 meal day with a couple of snacks could easily get to 1.4 kg/day of food.

That's a total of around 3.4 kg/day of mass coming in and 0.2 kg/day of mass going out through CO2 in breathing. That's around 6% of our mass loss.

So, please tell your nephew - supposing he has a good diet with plenty of fluids - that >90% of what he ingests goes out as urine, perspiration, water loss in respiration and feces.

ps - I have not counted nails, hair and skin cells, which are always growing (the former) and being renewed (the latter).
pps - I found a study that puts feces at 300 g/day and a post that puts water loss at 2.8 kg/day. Add to that the 200 g/day of carbon out through CO2 and you get a good match to the supposed 3.4 kg/day total input.

Yep, but you usually output about 100-200 gr of feces (that's the figure I remember from my Physiology class, can't find a citation; The best I found on-line is here). Since we usually eat a lot more than that, the mass should be leaving the body by other means. We don't lose much heavy molecules through the urine and perspiration. The latter contains mostly water and salts, while the former also contains some waste molecules, but not in a meaningful amount (weight-wise). That leaves only one other venue - CO2 in our respiration.

• "I'm thinking of switching from a soft toothbrush to a medium-soft. How has that worked out for you?"

• This is slashdot don't use but carry this one.

• "I'm considering moving my sock drawer from the top right to the top left drawer. Can anyone tell me the pros and cons of each arrangement?

• I don't know ask this guy... or not.

• "We're moving to a new home and are having a family meeting this Thursday to evaluate hanging toilet paper so that the next sheet is over versus under on the roll. I was wondering how other readers have approached this decision?"

• There's already a site about that. Here. Not that I recommend it.

• "I'd like to set my USB to automount to a fixed drive letter when I plug it into my Windows XP laptop. I'm considering J:, P:, and possibly Q:. What do you all think? Should I look at M: as well?"

• Use this. 'USBDLM is a Windows service that gives control over Window's drive letter assignment for USB drives.'

There has been a natural gas powered motorcycle for a while. http://www.poopreport.com/Images/Fun/Farttoy/farttoy2.jpg

When I worked in the corporate world, when I went to take a dump, the first thing on my mind, I want to be left alone ! My habit was I would go to a different floor's bathroom to pinch one preferably one that had very little or no traffic. Something like the men's room on a floor that have all women on as an example. In my case, the building I worked in had 5 floors. Our company had part of the 3rd floor (had their own bathroom which was separate from their regular 3rd floor bathroom), the whole 4th and 5th floor. The 3rd floor also had doctor/dentists offices, therefore, the bathrooms had literally no traffic. The 3rd floor bathroom was my favorite to use when dumping a load. Combine no traffic with some anonymity which contributes to a nice dump.

When I worked there I happened to have a manger that was an asshole and I got called in one time by him and got my ass chewed out for using that bathroom. I was told the bathroom was for use by clients who visited the doctor/dentist's offices, not for us employees. He started the conversation with, "Bathrooms here on the 5th floor not good enough for you to use ? Why do you have to use the 3rd floor......". It is almost a similar situation to this Website. He was also bitching that he couldn't find me in my office or in the computer lab. He mentioned that if I was not going to be in either place for more than a couple minutes I would have to find him and ask permission to be away such as the bathroom for example. I am glad I don't work for that asshole anymore !

When I need to go to the bathroom, I don't want to be interrupted to have a conversation, nor do I want to hear other people yapping away while they do their business.

You seem to, for example, completely overlook the fact that people like to be paid for their artistic works.

You seem to completely overlook the fact that people like to be paid for anything they do whatsoever, whether it's creating an artistic work, or taking a dump. Art my friend, may I introduce Piero Manzoni from 1960s Italy:

http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Art /art.html

They would be forced to pay for their music production out of their own pocket (since there would be no corporate interest), and to take the time out of their free time, which is rather limited for those earning good enough money to sustain a music career on the side.

Just like everybody who posts to this site is "forced" (false dichotomy, as by definition it is always voluntary), to "pay" out of their own time, out of their own opportunity cost, as they could have done something else than what they did at the time they did that. Yet people still talk. How do you explain that? Blah blah blah good enough money and musical careers are above and beyond fundamental choice, and the luxury free time provided by the excess wealth of society, above and beyond nutrition, to allow the division of labor support of "art".

This makes for a large financial hurdle that will discourage the creation of copyrighted works

Total *unproved* B.S. statement sneaked into the middle of a paragraph. But of course, if copyright is banned, the incentive to produce copyrighted works, won't just be a hurdle, but a Greek mythological impassible barrier. But people still talk, even though they can't "copyright" their talk. *Why*?

But even if artist could be magically paid from a free sharing model, could you guarantee that if an artist had unlimited access to all art known to man, they would still feel the need to create their own artwork?

Guarantee? I don't bandy a word like that about, unless I can irrefutably prove it so. And if a linguist had access to all words and combinations of words, would they not talk? Ahahaha, all "art", all "science" is by definition designed to "talk".

Would the passion and the purpose for creating such art be lost between the multitudes of similar artworks?

Well since there is no new artwork which has not ripped off elemental ideas of old artwork, the correct answer is, NO. Meaning of undefined unestablished concepts is amorphous. For true "artists", it never was about the "money", in a net social valuing sense, but always about the "money" on a better off personal level. It was and always will be, literally, the thought that counted.

Again, you've confused me. What free trade are you talking about? Surely you aren't referring to the trade between artist and consumers, because in your model, the artist trades their music for nothing economic

They choose to be artists rather than ditch diggers. It doesn't get any more *economic* than that. Just as everyone chooses to speak rather than remain silent. I am serious. And stop calling me surely.

Perhaps you refer to the trade of ideas? Then you are applying economic principles to something that has nothing to do with economics, which would explain why your theories don't seem to apply in practise.

If you mean there is no colloquial scarcity in the sense that everyone breathes air for free, then absolutely. That's the point. There is no choice of trade in regard to ideas. If you don't COPY, you don't play music, you *aren't* a musician. Fuck theories. I prove everything in simple black and white. Exhibit A: Knowledge, in so far as it exists, is absolutely known. Anyone who says otherwise, necessarily declares all that which they say is meaningless gibberish to be ignored. Q.E.D.

Action, choices, human movement, has everything to do with economics, no matter what the subtext, business plans or making m

some shits can be very newsworthy

What I really want to know is who the fucker is who deliberately pees all over the toilet seat and floor at work. I know people might hate their job and feel frustration, but is there any reason to take it out on everybody else?

First: the toilet has saved millions of people from disease. I recognize that it's one of the great inventions of our day. But when you examine the externalities it's created, you realize that there's a lot of work on it that needs to be done -- and I'm not talking about heated seats and water sprayers.

1.4 gallons per flush = 32 billion gallons of water per day wasted in the US, according to my research. That water flows to 600,000 miles of sewer pipes to 16,000 sewage treatment plants, each costing many millions (an in some cases, billions) of dollars. There they attempt to sequester the solids and cleanse the water. They've gotten pretty good at making the water safe; but the problem is with the solids. The leftover sludge isn't just organic matter -- it's contaminated with household chemicals and industrial pollutants both illegally and legally dumped into the sewers. In many places, this sludge is (after bacterial digestion) applied to farmland as fertilizer.

If it were just organic matter, everyone would be happy. But this application to the land concentrates the contaminants and assures that they will one day return to haunt us, either by moving up into the plants that grow in the soil or down into the water cycle. It's true that there are techniques to maintain a certain pH balance in the soil so that the contaminants remain suspended, but for that to be safe then every farmer will have to apply lime or other chemicals to every acre of land that's been treated with sludge for the rest of time. Unlikely.

We need to recognize the externalities caused by our current waste management infrastructure, and work to eliminate them (without losing any of the sanitary benefits the flush toilet has indubitably brought us). A water sprayer is nice, and I can't argue against heated seats, but that's just cosmetic -- we have a lot more serious issues to worry about.

You should be satisfied in that you don't shit blood, like they do in non-US countries.

Living in a rich nataion you could afford to get a Butt Wand. http://www.poopreport.com/Consumer/Content/Bottom/ bottom.html

The journal goes by its acronym; it's right here.

It was a confusing situation designed to leave the audience comically relieved.

http://www.poopreport.com/Ask/demolition_man.html

You could program the RSS feed from PoopReport.com

MythBusters - Brown Note
BUSTED

http://shopping.discovery.com/product-57781.html
http://www.meyersound.com.au/brownnote.shtm
http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Myt hbusters/mythbusters.html

Corn in poop... for the smacktard.

You seem to be assuming that each of these steps are unusual, difficult or impossible.

If you have ever looked at your poop, you've probably seen chunks of undigested material. The phrase corn in your/my/the poop is almost a cliche.

I don't know much about toxicology, but I seem to recall that certain types of food poisoning are caused by ingestion of toxins - proteins - manufactured by bacteria in spoiled food. These proteins are absorbed by the body from ingested material and circulate through the bloodstream. (Hang on while I Google an example... )

Botulinum toxin is a protein which happens also to be a neurotoxin. In children less than a year old the bacteria that produces it can live in the gut and produce the toxin, but in adults it's typically absorbed by eating contaminated food. The toxin itself is absorbed and circulates through the blood, eventually stopping the heart and lungs. (In this type of food poisoning, it's the high level of toxin in the contaminated food that makes one sick, not the ingestion of the bacteria.)

The entire posited improbability chain in your argument is refuted by ample evidence to support the theory that ingesting prion infected material can cause prion disease to manifest in a subject animal or person. The canonical example of Kuru has been mentioned by others here. Kuru affects those who engaged in ritual cannibalism by eating infected brain tissue of deceased relatives, and this pattern of infection contrasts nicely with the statistics on spontaneous prion disease like human CJD which apparently occurs at a rate of about one in a million individuals, randomly distributed throughout the global population regardless of diet or ethnicity. This line of statistical evidence (and much other evidence) supports the potential threat to humans from prion contaminated food regardless of whether one believes there is an as-yet-undiscoverd virus associated with prion disease (which appears less likely now.)

Certainly the entire picture of prion disease hasn't been painted, but we are well past the time when declaring them "bunk" is a rational response to the serious threat of prions in our food chain.

You've been reading too much of the Poop Report, haven't you?

That's... interesting. Here are some of the results I got:

Mulitcultural Long Hair Care Forum
The Moon Landings Were NOT Faked
and, best of all:
PoopReport.com: Your Source for Poop.

I guess it's true.

Planes usually drop shitcicles, not bricks, but otherwise your comment is spot on.

Poopreport.com is probably a bettter place to talk about fart lighting than slashdot, if you're into that sort of thing.