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Get RSS Feeds on Your Toilet Paper
0110011001110101 writes "A crazy new product out of Taiwan seems to be aimed at the feed dependent of us out there. The 'rsstroom reader' is a bathroom gadget that prints news feeds onto your T-P - that's right, your TOILET PAPER! The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints the news you want - not your roommates tabloid garbage. Going to the rsstroom will never be boring again! Heres a close-up image of this new gadget."
Just like Ewan McGregor's urine is used to determined what he can/cannot eat on that day.
You would think that with technology this advanced (the Taiwanese one, not McGregor), yet we can't put a feasible breathalyzer in the car and determine if a driver is under the influence or speeding.
And what happens when these toilet paper with Slashdot RSS clogged up the toilet?
Virtual Betting on Facebook for non-geeks.
I call fake! It looks exactly like a Zebra XI printer, with a nice photoshop job! FAKE FAKE!
You're all bastards!
Well, the content of most rss feeds does befit the product.
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
I have a better - and far more fitting - idea. Blogs on toilet paper.
Too much concern over viruses and back doors.
What I've always wanted!
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling a pig in mud. Soon, you realize the pig is dirty, and he likes it.
How apropos, given the state of most content on the Web.
Crap In, Crap Out.
Soko
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
Get set... GO!
Que the "Anal fissures due to allergic reactions to ink" lawsuits.
"No shit?"
John
I'm kind of afraid to click a "close-up" image of a device that's used on the toilet. It's not a picture of a live demo is it?
Also, does this look like just a modified Zebra printer to anyone else?
I used to have a terminal in my bathroom, so I understand the motivation to be close to information. However, I have to draw the line at buttometric technology, that's just wrong.
It would seem that feelings of guilt may spawn from wiping yourself with your favorite feed. Of course, if ever one became fed up with hearing the latest stupid news from one's roommate, a very powerful point could easily (and comfortably) be made.
Question is: does the rate of dispensation equal or exceed wiping's rate?
Now if only they could sell a color laser version they'd really be in business.
The link itself says it's just a conceptual product. Actually reading the article submission before posting it to /. FTW
Hack your neighbors wireless connection and feed false information to their RSS printed TP. Imagine the fun you could have. Program it to tell your neighbors wife she's fat and needs to lose weight. Program it to insult your neighbor's husband's manhood. There's so much potential here it is staggering...
Government's view of the economy: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving,regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.
This is clearly not an original work; I can already get RSS feeds on Slashdot.
I, for one, welcome our new RSS feed underlords
about ur anus, but I sure am not letting any ink near mine.
And to think that just today someone asked me why The GIMP has a toilet-paper template. Now I know why! For that printer!
Cool!
Pardon my english, but wiping my ass with printer paper doesn't sound too appealing ;)
gasmonso http://religiousfreaks.com/Wonder how much toilet paper is going to be wasted by people who just want to read and not wipe. Or for those who do wipe, all those ink stains on a person's buttox.
Wipe 2 times to access referring url.
Meet new people, and kill them.
That's really all I have to say on the subject.
Well, at long last I have a reason to subscribe to the White House RSS feed...
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
From TFA:
[note: the rsstroom reader(TM) is a conceptual product by dj spyhunter]
I'm not sure how one would fake a concept.
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
"The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints the news you want - not your roommates tabloid garbage."
Sounds fishy to me. Its not like we weigh the same every day (some people like myself can fluctuate up or down 5 pounds a day). And of course when you are doing your business, that's going to change your weight too. It seems like this "identification" system would only work well if all the members of the household are of significantly (10lbs or more?) different weights.
Hero of Allacrost, a FOSS RPG for *NIX/*BSD/OS X/Win
I've always wondered with stuff like this, and originally the Bin Laden toilet paper, is ink really good for your asshole?
Well this brings the definition of crappy feeds to an entirely new level. Seriously, i don't see the real use of this, probably costs like shit(no pun intended), and think how weird guests will look at you!
"Going to the rsstroom will never be boring again!"
I don't know about you, but I listen to poodcasts when I am in the lavatory.
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
I really don't know why I would want to pay tons of money so I could read Slashdot on the toilet.
What means this word 'arsefeeds'?
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
I'll buy one only if it will re-order the TP and have it delivered to my place. Could also use one for paper towels. Seems like I run out of paper towels faster than TP, even though I eat and poop at the same rate. Go figure.
Finally, I can now read /. RSS headlines that are worth the paper they are printed on!
Remove dupes by tearing out a square (or more)!
You have got to be kidding me. This just hit the front page and it's already slashdotted. Bummer. I wanted one for my pr0n
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
So archeologists of the future will have to go through our shit?
Think about it, what better place to get porn than the toilet?
to print on a decent grade of TP would be quite a feat...
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who can count in binary and those who can't.
I would prefer to get information from my toaster than my toilet paper, at least that is more appealing. See
this link for a prototype of a toaster that screens icons indicating the day's weather forecast.
On a more serious note, i bet the printing cartridge on this baby must cost a fortune, since it has to be resistant to water, fading, and smudges.
This Sig is removed due to factual inaccuracy
Anyone know where I can find an RSS feed for the Daily Mail? :)
Some think the Internet is a bad thing. I just think that AOL is a bad thing.
Real Simple Shitification.
I couldn't fail to disagree with you any less.
I have to chase the article down the toilet with the server, the printer, and the RSS feed!
Yuck!
Any mirrors?
Shit!!! It doesn't come out...I mean my RSS feed.
Maybe it's because I'm torreting Linux ISOs, but both the picture and the article seem to be displaying at atrocious speeds. Here is a mirror of the picture. I guess you can use Mirrordot or something for the article, but honestly, who reads the article?
all most as intrusive as the screen over President Skroob's toilet.
Image is getting /.'ed. Here are the mirrors of the product image and the story.
The only blog feed worth wiping with is Bill O'Idiot's from Fox News.
It has the bonus effect of being a puff of hot air to dry your bottom.
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
As far as I am concerned, they can put their RSSTP where the sun doesn't shine.
Oh, wait a second...
The same tissue to clean up the deed also can inspire you to get there? humm. Perfect crime.
This is really weird. Just before reading this article, I came up with the idea of a "CrapTop" - a laptop computer for the bathroom. I was reading an article and had the urge to purge, but I couldn't bring my 'puter with me.
:-)
Of course, if you have seen the Seinfeld episode at the bookstore, you know the dangers of having your CrapTop "tagged" as infected.
"No matter where you go, there you are." -- Buckaroo Banzai
"MondoMor you have been fined three credits for posting on Slashdot."
Always, always remember to flush.
It's too early for April Fool's. :(
Like quilted Charmin doesn't cost enough already; now we have to pay for glossy...
Now, this could really be a big seller if asciipr0n.com starts publishing RSS feeds...
Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer
I hope the ink is hypo-allergenic..
for a critique of John Dvorak's columns. "Your column is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me".
I need TP.
For my bunghole.
Who reads this shit?
I would gladly wipe my rear with TP that has M$ news on it.
I am Cornholio!
I need RSS for my bunghole!
Read it, wipe your ass, and flush them down the toilet with the rest of the shits.
ROFRMTP
Rolling On Floor Reading My Toilet Paper.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Smooth, but does it run on the UNIVAC??
This article can kiss my ass.
My mother has a big sign in her washroom that says "This is a bathroom, not a library".
:-P
Printing out custom-made TP while I'm in the head seems to be well and firmly entrenched into the "why ever for?" categry for me.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
They were going to do a braille model too but they had too many problems with chafing.
Speak for yourself. Some of my shits have been epic.
From TFS:
[note: the rsstroom reader(TM) is a conceptual product by dj spyhunter]
Not only do I have to keep replacing toilet paper...but now I have to worry about replacing printer ink as well? Call me lazy but that doubles the amount of maintenance work!
http://mirrordot.org/stories/a7ce6574b1474bff07ebf feb96dd0e35/index.html
Yeah, I agree with the guy who said it looks like a Zebra printer. Still, now I'm really tempted to grab an old inkjet and try to mock one up...
coding is life
The links have been /.'ed. Doh!
"It's craptacular" - Bart Simpson
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Two guys sitting in adjacent bathroom stalls.
I piece of used toilet paper accidentally drops on the floor.
Man 1: "Hey! You got poop on my RSS feeds!"
Man 2: "Hey! You got RSS feeds on my poop!"
And a new era of online entertainment is born...
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie!" until you can find a rock.
I'm trying to get crap out of my ass, not into it!
Thou shalt not begin a subject line or post with the word "Umm".
The per-incident toilet paper allowance is reduced from 9 grids to 6. Due to the reduction, employees are strongly urged to use BOTH sides of the paper for cleaning purpose. In addition, the automatically-timed flushing will be triggered after 15 seconds starting from the time when toilet paper is disbursed. The policy is effective immediately.
My toliet has had Really Stinky Sh*t feeds for ages.
Does it have intelligence to cure constipation?
"The 'rsstroom reader' is a bathroom gadget that prints news feeds onto your T-P - that's right, your TOILET PAPER!"
Oh, that's right... I did hear something about MS being involved in RSS....
[everyone groans]
Article: http://www.djspyhunter.com.nyud.net:8090/teapot/20 05/12/rsstroom-reader-toilet-paper-printer.htmlp loaded_images/rsstroom_reader_restroom-761230.jpg
Picture: http://www.djspyhunter.com.nyud.net:8090/teapot/u
Surviving America
I suppose it would be called a turdminal...
...kind of like what Microsoft is doing.
The problem is that for toilet-paper to feed/print properly in such a device (were it not a joke) then you would likely need some rather paper-like, non-fluppy TP.
The problem with this being... standard paper and one's backend would not agree with each other greatly. The cheap stuff they buy here at work is bad enough, but I really don't need roaring hemmaroids and an ink-trace of slashdot attached to my heiny.
I thought you were supposed to use toilet paper to decrease the amount of unadulterated bull crap in your bathroom.
Q: What did the comedian say to the crowd?
A: If I knew, this joke would be funny.
it's a bit illegible, tho.
"Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?" -- Maya Angelou
Perhaps then you'd be interested in my flying car?
if you pooped a no whiper.
Download free e-books, lectures, and tutorials at bookgoldmine.com
seem to have a need to cover every available flat surface with advertising. Why should this be any exception? Public restrooms will probably all have toilet paper printers eventually, assuming toilet paper is not somehow obsolete by then.
But having it print a personalized feed of interesting stuff at home is really not a bad idea. You can't even say that it's very bad environmentally, any more so than using toilet paper at all is bad. The ink should be biodegradeable of course.
All that ink getting transferred you know where.... No, thanks!
You're
Fired
1. Mrs. Brown was convicted of drowning her kids in the public pool.
2. No! Not me! Please, pick another one!
3. Profit!
Cheesy Movie Night
"Going to the rsstroom will never be boring again" - that is hardly a selling feature. I for one, do not prefer my bathroom activities to be interesting, as that is typically an indicator of malfunction.
Non, je ne veux pas coucher avec toi ce soir.
Now I can finally wipe my ass with the Washington Times, The National Standard, and White House press releases!
Scott McClellan, get ready to kiss this ass!
Just looking at this story is enough for anyone to be able to determine that this story is a bad attempt at an april fools joke, 8 months too late (or four months early).
Admittedly, it was a fax and not an rss feed, but the principle is the same.
Ed Wedig
Graphic design services
docbrown.net
I'd have assumed that this was a good application for those rectal scanners I read about in Dr. Fun. I couldn't find a reference--sorry.
I'd hate to see one of these "for a captive audience" devices in the wrong place. Just think what you'd get when you sell direct marketed toilet paper (Cue Spaceballs reference).
Oh wait, my snail mailbox is full of that already (just a little rougher paper, that's all).
I am, and always will be, an idiot. Karma: Coma (mostly effected by
186 comments, and nearly all moded +Funny.
:)
I don't think this thread will have a single non-funny
Where the news really stinks.
Where the 'bloid meets the 'roid
My sincere apologies, I cannot help myself.
There's already enough shit in the news. I'd really rather not contribute.
...when you lose two pounds at the toilet? "Today, Microsoft executives Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer announced$%*!$#_+@---Mac OS 11 Leopard, with new features..."
You could program the RSS feed from PoopReport.com
what next taiwanese(?) fortune cookies with damnn RSS feeds?????
Just install a computer and a cell phone charger and enjoy the up-to-date modern efficiencies of the paperless toilet.
And here I thought it was going to do something useful like notify you when the roll was left empty so you could yell at the person (identified by weight) left it empty ...
I've tbought about a novelty product for years: Micro-soft bathroom tissue. It would have butterflies imprinted on it, and of course there would be technically no trademark issue as it is in a different business classification than computer software. I'm sure that Microsoft idiot legal teams would be sending cease-and-desist letters but those letters would have no real legal force behind them.
If I had the money to toy with Microsoft and fight them in court I would introduce micro-soft bathroom tissue. I really would. Unfortunately I don't have the time and money for such amusements. That's best reserved for people who have far too much money and time on their hands.
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
While this is a joke, it leads into my belief that no text-based media can succeed without being "throne-friendly."
Bathroom reading is a very attention capturing process. I've been thinking (for almosr a decade, back to my news-from-the-BBS days) about what I guess would Be called the PrintCast.
We have blogs. We have udio PodCasts that are downloaded to one's MP3 player automatically. For us text bloggers, I'd love to see software to pull blogs at say 6:30am, format them in a nice newsletter/newspaper format, print them out (with minor banner ads?) and have it waiting when you wake up. Imagine a FREE double-sided WiFi printer that automatically sets you up with YOUR daily news. Custom targeted ads could easily pay for it. Charge bloggers for better positioning and allow bloggers to cut articles short (maybe) to get you to their sites.
I'm going to look into pull-PDF versions of my articles, but how do I make it automated to print before you start your day?
The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints the news you want - not your roommates tabloid garbage.
Yeah, that's a friggin' fantastic idea. So some guy in my office loses three pounds, and suddenly he's presented with my feeds: "Dear Mr. Jesus 2.0, here is your fresh new abhorrently deviant pornography".
I finally get to express my distain for the nonsense spewed forth by the mainstream media in a truly meaningful way! Now if only I could mail it to them...
You're using her as bait, Master!
$ curl http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext01/wrnpc11.txt| banner -w 79 |lp -d tp
(ignore the slashdot url manglation)
They would take the steps necessary to ensure that this thing doesn't pull pages from The Koran Online or other online religious texts. Wouldn't want your TP dispenser to cause an international incident...
Georgia Tech, the leader in Chia(tm) technology.
submitted 1 hour and 3 days ago on digg. Slashdot - News for Nerds, Stuff that digg talked about yesterday.
t _paper_before_you_wipe_
http://digg.com/technology/Read_DIGG_RSS_on_toile
if there is a dupe, I'll think I forgot to wipe my ass. ;)
the likelihood that this product will ever make it retail: very low you'd be much better off recycling an old laptop LCD screen to display a live RSS feed. Possible ways to do this: http://www.macmod.com/content/view/210/2 http://www.macworld.com/2004/08/features/thenextdo ityourselfmac/index2.php
the ways to network this vary, bluetooth is the best alternative so long as distance isn't an issue, obviously cables would be too cumbersome, so an AirPort Card would be nice..a possible solution would be to mount the laptop whole and use it's AirPort Connection:
http://www.macmod.com/content/view/467/1/
from here, it's a simple matter to use Apple Remote Desktop to log in to your laptop, and make it behave however you want...best part: you don't have to wipe your bum with ink!
Now if only I had an extra ibook to sacrifice for this project.
________
Farty Pat
probably will never get laid
Hardware:
iBook G3 500Mhz/640 MB RAM
Nomad IIc .mp3 player 192MB
Overactive pyloric sphincter. Bonzai!
I should have RTFA, butt, does this use F-TP?
Screw that, I want to print some EULAs on that thing!
Wipe them out. ALL of them.
Now that's a use I never thought of and surely deserves a patent :)
http://www.hawknest.com/
my weight fluctuates while sitting on the toilet by 4 pounds, then returns to normal for my next visit. it's a vicious cycle.
That'll be great.... until they replace your toner with ink that doesn't dry fast enough.
Partial Credit: The Engineer's Best friend
"Well, the bridge didn't fall all the way down!"
What else would you wipe on your RSShole?
in third world countries use water.
Christmas gift buying time is here. I was wondering what to get for Uncle Harold.
How many beans make five, anyhow ?