Slashdot Mirror

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Once the right to face your accuser meant something. Our nation was forged by men who journeyed for days to debate one another in the flesh, about the ways in which our government should take shape. The founding documents of this country were forged in the crucible of human interaction, not by pixellated images on glowing monitors! Soon, jurors will muse over the fates of their fellow human beings from the comfort of their homes talking with one another in "chat rooms", never having seen in person the poor souls on whom they sit in judgement. Life-or-death decisions will be as simple as a Slashdot poll.

Anyone who has experienced the gripping film Twelve Angry Men will know in their hearts the importance of human interaction in the process if deliberative justice. We as citizens of this country need to take a hard look at what's happening here. We must take back our irreplacable Third Estate from the hands of greedy corporations more concerned with lining their own pockets than with the true meaning of justice.

Samba is a great piece of softare, don't get me wrong... but you're still emulating that suck ass non-routable smb protocol. Why not use something worth your time? I'm sure some of you will say NetWare is dead, or NetWare sucks, but by saying that you are admitting you know nothing about NetWare and Novell's current product line.

Give it a shot. You'll learn something, and find out it's a much better product than SMB and any M$ attempt at an NOS.

Huh. Those work fine for me too. Well there is something weird going on.

Check this out:
http://people.redhat.com/jrb/files/Screenshot-Mous e.png

That does not work for me under IE 5.1

However it does work under mozilla build 2001122106 for max osx. Perhaps a mimetype problem?

--jeff

Whoops, sorry, the correct autobook link is here

By the way, since the links /and/ the URL's (as far as I can tell) in the post are broken, this should help:

http://people.redhat.com/mingo/O(1)-scheduler/

I've created diffs between 2.5.1 and 2.5.2pre8 with the O(1) scheduler, and between 2.5.2pre8 and 2.5.2pre8 with the O(1) scheduler.

2.5.2pre8 actually patches pretty well with the original scheduler patch (drivers/char/serial.c.rej can be ignored, and you have to make a few changes to kernel/sched.c in order for it to patch correctly), but because it took me at least ten minutes of fiddling with sched.c I've decided to make a diff for 2.5.2pre8.

No guarantee that either of these works, though :) but hey, my kernel compiled just fine.

# diff -ru linux-2.5.1 linux-2.5.2pre8schedO1|grep -v '^Only in '|gzip -f >/home/web/patch-2.5.1-2.5.2pre8schedO1.patch.g z


http://os.markbach.com:8080/patch-2.5.1-2.5.2pre 8s chedO1.patch.gz
(396,961 bytes)

# diff -ru linux-orig linux |grep -v '^Only in ' |gzip -f >/home/web/patch-2.5.2pre8-2.5.2pre8schedO1.pat ch.gz


http://os.markbach.com:8080/patch-2.5.pre8-2.5.2 pr e8schedO1.patch.gz
(31,124 bytes)

Good luck to anyone who tries to use these :)

And no, I didn't patch in the kdev_t stuff from people/aeb on kernel.org because there's lots of kdev_t stuff in the Changelog for pre7 and pre8, so I decided to assume (yes, I know, assuming makes an ass out of u and me) I didn't need it... of course, when the system crashes after five seconds, maybe I'll change my mind ;)

And if, for some odd reason, you can't connect on port 8080, just connect on port 80 and let's hope you're not blocked by @home's or my firewall. :)

Damn, I'm using too many smileys :-\

The result is that most major Linux distros can't keep binary compatibility between updates and errata on the same OS release, much less between releases. Even with the LSB, I think it will be a while before we see binary compatibility between distros.

Windows ain't Unix.

Neither is GNU/Linux, nor any of the free BSDs, but that doesn't stop them from running programs written to the UNIX spec. Windows too can run free *n?x software with Cygwin, and now Cygwin with XFree86 runs on all Win32 platforms from 95 to NT to XP.

Windows ain't Unix.

Neither is GNU/Linux, nor any of the free BSDs, but that doesn't stop them from running programs written to the UNIX spec. Windows too can run free *n?x software with Cygwin, and now Cygwin with XFree86 runs on all Win32 platforms from 95 to NT to XP.

> Most modern compilers are written in their own language, e.g. the c compiler is written in c, the c++ compiler is written in c++.

The author's point is that C++ was first written in C, ala "cfront"
(One of the Modula-3 compilers I used also produced native C code as well.)

Using another language as your IL (Intermediate Language) is not new. Heck even gcc does this ;-)

Cheers

Yes, I probably misunderstood. I assumed your post was about some sort of conspiracy against other distributions. Sorry.

My point is that there is no Operating System distribution that can accurately be called a "Linux Distribution". It would not be appropriate to call RedHat an "Apache Distribution" just because Apache httpd is on the media. Apache and Linux are just packages included on the disk to enhance the usefulness of the system. Linux is a kernel, RedHat is one of many distributions of the GNU system.

This is very true. However, I think there is a minor difference between Apache and the kernel and the basic GNU libraries and utilities. Apache is not an essential package for the system, but both the GNU libraries and the GNU utilites and the kernel are. Thus it is entirely appropriate to give them credit when naming the system; to point out the most essential parts of the system.
I beleive naming it GNU/Linux is entirely appropriate, and while Red Hat calls their product "Linux", I personally don't believe that they intentionally want to miscredit the GNU project. That would be strange since Red Hat pays a lot of developers working with the GNU project. You should by the way also check out the Red Hat website right now. "GNU" in bold letters. :-)

If your posted email address is accurate, then I can assume that you are a freshmaker who is already very aware of this issue. The only logical assumtion, if this isn't "gnus" to you, is that you neglected to read most of my post before responding.

It is accurate, and I'm certainly aware of the issue. I just misread your post in another context (a conspiracy theory one), and for that I apologize.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

SLASHDOT -- A sufficiently GAY web site!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Mirror Site #1

Mirror Site #2

Mirror Site #3

Mirror Site #4

Mirror Site #5

Homer Simpson laughing and saying, "It's funny 'cuz it's true!"

Red Hat isn't the be-all/end-all of Linux distros, in fact it's not even one of the best ones. (They do a lot of good work for the community and they work hard to gain visibility for themselves and Linux in general. That's great and I appreciate them doing it, but the Red Hat distro just isn't that good.)

Rock Linux is hard. SuSE and Mandrake are easy. Red Hat and Slackware are somewhere in the middle.

I guess my point is, anyone who can install Windows can install Linux. If you're putting something together for someone who isn't capable of installing Windows, Linux is probably a better choice for them since you can set it up right and feel reasonably secure in the knowledge that it's going to stay that way. I've been using Windows for a long time, and I've never seen a Windows system that didn't need a reinstall within a year. Conversely, the only reason I reinstalled Linux was because I wanted to switch to reiserfs. (Yes I know win2k will upgrade your fat32 to ntfs without a hitch, I've done it about 20 times. e3fs will upgrade e2fs without a hitch, too, or so I'm told, but I wanted reiser.)

Sorry for the rambling. My basic point is that you're right. I guess I should know better than to post before coffee.

3) Usability.

Here is an example. Ask a newish computer user to add a network printer then connect to it. Firstly in Windows, then in Linux. Now see the confused looks first, then with a touch of do this, they can. Then ask them to do it again without help. Windows, they will guess their way. Linux will be NO FUCKING WAY. Simple shit like that is not dumb enough to do in Linux yet!

Complete Bovine Excrements. What is this link for then ?

It explains from start to finish how to do that, including the proper screen captures.

Research before saying anything, you Dork !

grr.... KDE and GNOME are nearly the same. How could they think that? I installed Linux-Mandrake 8.0 with VERY LITTLE PRIOR LINUX KNOWLEDGE, and before that installed Caldera eDesktop 2.4, and before that RedHat 7.1 (tried out a bunch a distros, what can I say?). I find it extremly easy to use. The only thing that bugs me is the installation of non-distro-supplied software. This should be streamlined, so that the program automatically downloads all its dependancies when you tell it to. I don't understand. All these student sound like they've been brainwashed. Next they'll be telling us the virtues of AOL.
(sorry, no hyperlink for Caldera, couldn't remeber if they are still in business or not.)

I am talking about the same system of quality control here, but let's be realistic...we're talking about actual EXECUTABLE PROCESSES (since that's what trojans are) that are slipping through here. Not some obscure, nearly impossible-to-find directory traversal hack. Believe me, something like this would have been found.

and yes, that concern HAS been addressed already. Repeatedly. Too many times in too many discussions. We're all well aware of the blunders from Redmond. We don't need you to keep telling us how bad they suck. Besides, everybody makes mistakes sometimes. So please spare us the typical zealotry.

I actually found this redhat documentation useful.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com], spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx] terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx] 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net] automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]' originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx] practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org], Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org], Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org], Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx] queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org], Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

>If it is commercial, then even if it runs Linux software, has a Linux look or even if it is somehow related to a true Linux, it ain't Linux.

Last time i checked, Redhat Mandrake SuSE is commercial, and a lot of others.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It seems to me that article indeed speaks about network that has high latency but high bandwidth with some loss. How about simply compressing the data and using bigger packets to transmit it? If you can use big enough window while sending data you can push all the data to the network in the beginning. Conversation comes to A) Here it comes A) Done [64 packets, 125MB] B) Okay, listening B) Resend 2,7 and 25 A) Done [3 packets, 6MB] B) OK. Note that A starts sending before getting reply from B. In fact, with fast long-distance connection it could be that A gets to the end before B getting "Here it comes".

I think if we want to speed up file transfer we need an API to tell OS that we're going to send lots of data so make it big packets or the opposite. Currently we just open socket connection to destination and start write()ing. OS has no way to guess whether or not we're going to write 100 or 10e8 bytes. We need a way to tell OS that the data we're sending isn't worth a dime before it's all done so make it big packets to minimize bandwidth wasted to TCP control traffic.

You can opt to waste bandwidth to reduce perceived latency and that's what I think is done here. A sends file twice and in a case some packets were lost the sent copy would be used to fill in missing parts. A has sent missing packet before B had known it's missing it. Yeah, A wasted half the bandwidth for the redundant data that got correctly to the destination at the first time but we aren't interested in that. The key here is to use UDP so that lost packets are really lost instead of automatically resend. This kind of setup increases overall throughput only if latency is the only problem in your network. Perhaps this is needed in the future because increasing bandwidth is easy - not necessarily cheap - but the light crawling inside fiber is so damn slow!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Second link: hats off to those who don't run wu-ftpd. I would never claim that all linux systems are alike. As for those who do (run wu-ftpd), arguing over whether a given windows or linux combo is worse is almost pointless.. they're both buggy POSs and it takes one crack to ruin the box.

As for the third link..

A design flaw, rather than a true "bug"

I do program, and where I come from, design flaws usually count as bugs. Usually they're the hardest ones to fix

There is absolutely NO evidence that this vulnerability has ever been exploited

You could apply that statement to MS's latest problem, and you'd be equally foolish

HOW LONG was it, after the design flaw became known, that the flaw was fixed and new releases made to fix it. A day or two?

This is just from the searching I have done, and it's so ridiculous I actually don't believe it myself; somebody *please* correct the errors here, but AFAICT: Flaw published1/4/01, apparently fixed by redhat 4/10/01 (debian nailed this on 4/16). Somebody noticed on the kernel mailing list 7/24/01 that there was still a problem (improved exploit perhaps?), and this was fixed by redhat on 10/09/01. I can't find a second debian fix; maybe they got it right the first time. Anyway to answer your question, not quite.

Second link: hats off to those who don't run wu-ftpd. I would never claim that all linux systems are alike. As for those who do (run wu-ftpd), arguing over whether a given windows or linux combo is worse is almost pointless.. they're both buggy POSs and it takes one crack to ruin the box.

As for the third link..

A design flaw, rather than a true "bug"

I do program, and where I come from, design flaws usually count as bugs. Usually they're the hardest ones to fix

There is absolutely NO evidence that this vulnerability has ever been exploited

You could apply that statement to MS's latest problem, and you'd be equally foolish

HOW LONG was it, after the design flaw became known, that the flaw was fixed and new releases made to fix it. A day or two?

This is just from the searching I have done, and it's so ridiculous I actually don't believe it myself; somebody *please* correct the errors here, but AFAICT: Flaw published1/4/01, apparently fixed by redhat 4/10/01 (debian nailed this on 4/16). Somebody noticed on the kernel mailing list 7/24/01 that there was still a problem (improved exploit perhaps?), and this was fixed by redhat on 10/09/01. I can't find a second debian fix; maybe they got it right the first time. Anyway to answer your question, not quite.

Here's a secret tip: OpenXP is the open source version of legendary mail/news offline reader "CrossPoint". It runs in a console window, is very fast, and has all the features you could ask for, including support for various protocols and its own dialer (you can also use an existing Internet connection). OpenXP may take a while to get used to, but it's definitely worth it. I've used CrossPoint from ca. 1993-1996, and a friend still uses it today, although he doesn't care about the new versions.

For mail on Windows, I've been using Pegasus Mail for quite some time. It's more than a decade old and was recently released in version 4.0. Its interface, while graphical, takes a bit to get used to, and it's not open source (Windows freeware doesn't have Unix' open source tradition because of the lack of free compilers), but it is extremely feature-rich, renders HTML (terribly) and supports the Unix mailbox format for its folders. Only downside: I don't know if this relates to crashes of my NT machine (different story), but I've had some mail indexing problems with Pegasus, which made the search ignore some messages.

The situation was much worse with Netscape Messenger, which is the reason I haven't tried out Mozilla's successor yet: Messenger once ate a whole huge mailbox of mine during the process of "reorganization", when not enough disk space was available for this. So I would definitely be careful with Mozilla's Mail module, especially since it's not yet widely tested: You want your mailer to be reliable and not to lose data, ever.

Another semi-free contender is The Bat!, which is trialware and costs 25 bucks for students. I've heard very good things about it, but I have not yet had the need to switch from Pegasus.

On Linux, there are many more choices, and good things are increasingly being said about Ximian's Evolution -- perhaps it will be ported to Windows? Similarly, Balsa and KMail are nice graphical e-mail clients, and there's a huge list of text-mode clients which all have their strengths and weaknesses. You really don't have to decide on either one permanently because they can all access the same mailbox files (neat, huh?). Generally, because of the interoperability and reliability of Unix mail, if you have a choice, I recommend using a Unix system for all email. It may be a bit trickier to set up at first, but once you have a nice procmail and mailer(s) configuration running, you won't want to switch back.

Yeah, apt-get is great. But it's just a tool to deal with packages. If the packages it's dealing with are crap, then it won't help you one lick. Most Debian Developers take care of a *single* package. There is a decent minority that takes care of a number of packages each, and there are a very very few that take care of dozens of packages each. And these people *use* their packages; they use the apps they package, they use Debian, they use their Debian packages.

Can you say all that about Red Hat? How many thousands of packages do they have, and how many package maintainers? A few dozen? Full-time? That's being optimistic. You're still looking at a stunning lack of man-power(when compared with the alternatives).

It would surprise me if there are any "unmaintained" packages in any major distro, since if it's not maintained and not used, there is no point in including it and thus wasting CD space for it. So I think it's safe to assume that each package has a maintainer. Also, Red Hat surely has more than "a few dozen" developers. If you take a look at people.redhat.com you'll find lots of more or less well-known Red Hat developers. All in all, 150 people are listed.

I also counted all the binary RPM packages included on the two installation CD's of the Red Hat Linux 7.2 release. There are 1232 of these packages.

This gives us an average of roughly 8.21 packages per maintainer. deno was so kind as to provide statistics for Debian in his comment where he gets an average of 9.16 binary packages pro Debian maintainer.

So, on an average, the Red Hat maintainers appearto have to care about slightly fewer packages pro person than their Debian collegues.

This also reflects my personal experience. The Red Hat packages are of high quality. Everything you said about the Debian packaging can most likely be said about the Red Hat ones too. No serious distribution would ship packages in their distro that were untested and not carefully packaged according to a package quality plan. I have trouble remembering any packaging error with any package included in Red Hat Linux.

The packages that don't come from any Linux distribution though sure often match a lot of what you described. In fact, mot problems I've heard about bad RPM packages involved one or more of the following:

• User used package intended for another distribution than the one used
• User used package intended for another major version of the distribution than the one used
• User grabbed package from "somewhere on the net", not reflecting too much about where it came from or the quality of the package
• User compiled and installed some of the package's dependencies from source, and wonders why the package manager doesn't find them
• User fetched the package from the distribution's bleeding edge repository and didn't pay too much attention to warnings

...and so on. Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but in my experience it usually is either pilot error or low-quality packages fetched from somewhere on the net, and eventually all gets blamed on RPM or the distributor.

Gee, they really do talk quite a lot about Lineo and RedHat Embedded. Where did you learn this "reading" thing you're talking about, though? Is it one of those funny things they teach in foreign schools?

P.S. more power to the Penguin, down with the Man^H^H^HBeast, M$, Bill Gates Sucks, Linux RuL3z0rz, etc., etc.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

"The worst an Outlook virus could do on Linux is take out the account of the user who clicked on the attachment."

Sure, because there have never been privilege elevation flaws in common unix software, have there?

I have read lots of stuff but maybe I'm not reading the right things.

That would surely be the problem. Every distribution of linux has a manual (whether paper or electronic). As a newbie, it's a very good idea to read that manual. For instance, look here for all the redhat manuals. Start there. Read. Read more. If you get confused, try re-reading. If that doesn't help, ask a specific question on a newsgroup, at your local LUG, or on an IRC channel dedicated to this kind of thing (<shameless-plug>#Linux on the EFNet IRC network is pretty good, if you go in there with a specific question in mind</shameless-plug>). Learning to use Linux is 95% finding the right resources and 5% reading. Of course, 95% of the right resources are docs (manuals, books, FAQs, howtos), so you're going to be doing a lot of reading. If you can't bother with that, then don't bother with linux (note: this is not trying to be elitist, just stating the facts. feel free to flame me anyway, as I'm sure you all will).

Ah, yes. Another hardcoded font size in a press release.

Question: Why is it that press releases, documents that we are sure companies want everybody to read, continue to hard code web page font sizes to about 6pt, in a light shade of gray?

Answer: Management and marketing types write press releases with MS Word and are too busy playing golf to simply open the URL in their browser to verify that the web monkey did his job. They are not concerned enough about their company to follow through on the basics.

I have to say, RedHat (an unabashed Linux company, I might add) is a pleasant exception to this rule. Check out one of their press releases.

Perhaps attention to "details" such as font sizes in HTML-format press releases also give us an idea of a company's ability to follow through with the technical aspects of its core business functions as well.

Ah, yes. Another hardcoded font size in a press release.

Question: Why is it that press releases, documents that we are sure companies want everybody to read, continue to hard code web page font sizes to about 6pt, in a light shade of gray?

Answer: Management and marketing types write press releases with MS Word and are too busy playing golf to simply open the URL in their browser to verify that the web monkey did his job. They are not concerned enough about their company to follow through on the basics.

I have to say, RedHat (an unabashed Linux company, I might add) is a pleasant exception to this rule. Check out one of their press releases.

Perhaps attention to "details" such as font sizes in HTML-format press releases also give us an idea of a company's ability to follow through with the technical aspects of its core business functions as well.

It turns out that most real time systems cannot afford the overhead of a OS. Sure we need something to deal with hardware, and schedualing, and if you have networking it is nice to have sockets are similear. In the end though, a OS gets in the way more then helps

I've just started to poke my head into it, but eCos (an embedded linux based OS) is a nice place to start when designing your in house OS.

From the linked page:

eCos provides engineers with maximum control, flexibility and understanding over all aspects of their embedded solution. eCos is highly customizable and adaptable, and can be easily configured using the eCos graphical configuration tool to meet application-specific requirements

It's used as the base for dadio OS (on my hipzip MP3 player) and it looks like a nice little package with lots of tools for developers.

Proprietary does seem like the way to go, (After all, keeping things small is important, and it is likely that there will not be a general solution that meets your specific needs exactly) but it is also nice to work from a proven base OS instead of starting from scratch.

How about holding various companies whose products are exploited the most (re: MS) liable for their lack of security?

There was a recent security seminar sponsored by the Georgia Tech Information Security Center by Gene Spafford who is the director of the Purdue CERIAS (Center for Education and Research in Information Assurance and Security), where he mentioned the problems with security and the software industry. One of his slides in his presentation showed that Windows NT and Windows 2000 (combined), RedHat Linux and Solaris are respectively the first, second and third on the lists of OSes that have had vulnerabilities discovered in the past five years.

Legislation that aims to punish companies for writing insecure software would harm almost every company that writes any software that is aimed at being used in a server/multi-user environment since security is an absolute that most non-trivial software does not reach.

Secondly, who will be forced to pay when it comes to Open Source vulnerabilities? wu-ftp is notoriously broken , as is telnetd , sendmail, BIND and some would consider recent bugs in the Linux kernel as OS vulnerabilities. Opening the door to lawsuits to software developers for writing software would probably kill a number of projects rather quickly.

I'd rather that we let capitalism take its course. If customers want secure products then they should stop buying insecure products or they should communicate to the vendors that security is of importance to them. As long as consumers (both individuals and corporate entities) continue to accept the status quo then no change will be made but I don't believe that lawsuits will solve anything except make some lawyers rich and significantly increase the cost of software as the effects of the lawsuits are passed on to consumers.

My Hipzip MP3 player from Iomega pretty much fits the bill. It runs on a proprietary os (dadio OS) which is based on eCos, [redhat.com] an embedded OS based on linux. It has updatable firmware and runs the OS on a maverick chip. It also has 40 MB removable media disks.

While this is a far cry from the 5GB disk proposed somewhere above, the idea however is solid. A handheld device that runs a linux based embedded OS and can plug in as a drive under windows, macOS and probably linux (if I get USB support working).

If you replaced the Iomega zip drive with a small hard drive, then it would be the device you are talking about.

As is, the Hipzip allows me to store any file that fits into the 40MB limit.

Why isn't a Linux company signing up (like RedHat)? That would give the project a little more clout in terms of a clearly defined software platform ... rather than, say, "Liberty Alliance for Windows", which would have to compete with a passport icon already on the desktop.

Some of the Cygwin people weren't exactly welcoming of the port, either. Check out this post from the Cygwin mailing list when one of the Debian folk approached them with the project. The team that did the port deserves a lot of credit.

Also, if you're looking for more information on Cygwin, don't bother asking the mailing list until you've read the FAQ, manual, and heavily searched the archives for answers to your questions. The lead developers (RedHat employees) are really touchy, and they're more likely to flame you than answer your questions. It's an extremely negative list, IMHO.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed
of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from
hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman,
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis, glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot'
originally referred to a homosexual
practice. Slashdot of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have
homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot runs
on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus,
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h,
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee,
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it
contains hidden homosexual messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase,
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord's work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!