Slashdot Mirror

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style >.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style >.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting" are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks at the internet's premier source of wit and style >.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!!!!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks and the internet's premier source of wit and style>.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!

Are you bright? witty? Do you have friends that laugh at your jokes? We at lrse hosting are looking for a select few individuals to join our ranks and the internet's premier source of wit and style>.

Do YOU have what it takes? Register TODAY and FIND OUT!

William Scott Lockwood III is Vladinator on Slashdot (also known as Pinkerton Floyd, Quick Star, Reza, Scott Lockwood, Lonesome Cowboy Burt, et all). See his websites for more information.

Yeah, a Slash hall of fame would be cool. I'm going to ask about the spork issue at http://www.sporks-r-us.com/. The sporks were cool.

Scott Lockwood whines just to hear himself.

"You know, I'd stay retired if these fools would just find another target."

We did. We had an agreement. We moved on to other things. Scott Lockwood didn't. Scott Lockwood couldn't STAND being left alone. He can't live without negative attention, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to atract it. He had, and still does, have the chance to be left alone FOREVAR, just by shutting the hell up. We gave him once chance, and he flat-out lied to us. We left him alone, and he couldn't stand it, so he started spamming himself all over the Internet and goading us to pay attention to him again.

We put up with it for quite a while, but the frequency and volume of his attention-seeking continued to increase. Well, if he wants attention, he'll get it.

Scott Lockwood, it's all up to you. You can stop it any time you like. You know that VladeKua5y is doomed. Stop fucking yourself over. You can end it any time, if you have willpower and honest. The problem is that you don't. You have no morality as a person.

Is this Scott Lockwood? No, Scott Lockwood is much wider than that. Is this Scott Lockwood, or is this? There are so many that seem to fit him, I just can't decide.

Oh well. On to the future. There's much to be done, and little time to do it.

It's been my experience that people who cry "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to sue you!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to come to your house and kick your ass!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to call the police and have them arrest you for being mean to me" whenever they feel personally offended on the Internet tend to be terribly immature and have serious emotional problems. People who aren't confident with themselves and feel inferior about their own abilities try to boost their own self-esteem by making empty threats of lawsuits or physical assault whenever they're on the losing end of a flamewar.

His face will turn red, he'll start to wheeze and stutter, and he will angrily type, "Yeah, well, just wait until I tell my uncle at the CIA about how rude you've been to me! He'll come and arrest you and you'll go to jail and I'll sue you for everything you have! Then I'll kick your ass, and have sex with your girlfriend!"

He will then drag his corpulent, out-of-shape, virginal body across the basement to bed and drift off to slumber thinking "Wow, I'm sure I really scared those bastards! I'm sure they'll think twice before disagreeing with ME again!" He'll feel only a slight twinge of hollow emptiness the next day when he sees his uncle, who rather than working for the CIA, is actually the assistant janitor at the local McDonald's.

A few people who seem to fit the stereotype quite well of being absolute assholes on the Internet and then threatening to sue or call the FBI, CIA, and KGB when anyone who calls them on it:

Bernard Shifman

Robert Novak

Scott Lockwood

Were these three people long-lost triplets, seperated at birth? Why do they behave in exactly the same way? Do they share a common mental disease? Or are they all actually the same person? We may never know.

It's been my experience that people who cry "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to sue you!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to come to your house and kick your ass!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to call the police and have them arrest you for being mean to me" whenever they feel personally offended on the Internet tend to be terribly immature and have serious emotional problems. People who aren't confident with themselves and feel inferior about their own abilities try to boost their own self-esteem by making empty threats of lawsuits or physical assault whenever they're on the losing end of a flamewar.

His face will turn red, he'll start to wheeze and stutter, and he will angrily type, "Yeah, well, just wait until I tell my uncle at the CIA about how rude you've been to me! He'll come and arrest you and you'll go to jail and I'll sue you for everything you have! Then I'll kick your ass, and have sex with your girlfriend!"

He will then drag his corpulent, out-of-shape, virginal body across the basement to bed and drift off to slumber thinking "Wow, I'm sure I really scared those bastards! I'm sure they'll think twice before disagreeing with ME again!" He'll feel only a slight twinge of hollow emptiness the next day when he sees his uncle, who rather than working for the CIA, is actually the assistant janitor at the local McDonald's.

A few people who seem to fit the stereotype quite well of being absolute assholes on the Internet and then threatening to sue or call the FBI, CIA, and KGB when anyone who calls them on it:

Bernard Shifman

Robert Novak

Scott Lockwood

Were these three people long-lost triplets, seperated at birth? Why do they behave in exactly the same way? Do they share a common mental disease? Or are they all actually the same person? We may never know.

Scott Lockwood whines just to hear himself.

"You know, I'd stay retired if these fools would just find another target."

We did. We had an agreement. We moved on to other things. Scott Lockwood didn't. Scott Lockwood couldn't STAND being left alone. He can't live without negative attention, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to atract it. He had, and still does, have the chance to be left alone FOREVAR, just by shutting the hell up. We gave him once chance, and he flat-out lied to us. We left him alone, and he couldn't stand it, so he started spamming himself all over the Internet and goading us to pay attention to him again.

We put up with it for quite a while, but the frequency and volume of his attention-seeking continued to increase. Well, if he wants attention, he'll get it.

Scott Lockwood, it's all up to you. You can stop it any time you like. You know that VladeKua5y is doomed. Stop fucking yourself over. You can end it any time, if you have willpower and honest. The problem is that you don't. You have no morality as a person.

Is this Scott Lockwood? No, Scott Lockwood is much wider than that. Is this Scott Lockwood, or is this? There are so many that seem to fit him, I just can't decide.

Oh well. On to the future. There's much to be done, and little time to do it.

like, SPORKS!

Scott Lockwood whines just to hear himself.

"You know, I'd stay retired if these fools would just find another target."

We did. We had an agreement. We moved on to other things. Scott Lockwood didn't. Scott Lockwood couldn't STAND being left alone. He can't live without negative attention, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to atract it. He had, and still does, have the chance to be left alone FOREVAR, just by shutting the hell up. We gave him once chance, and he flat-out lied to us. We left him alone, and he couldn't stand it, so he started spamming himself all over the Internet and goading us to pay attention to him again.

We put up with it for quite a while, but the frequency and volume of his attention-seeking continued to increase. Well, if he wants attention, he'll get it.

Scott Lockwood, it's all up to you. You can stop it any time you like. You know that VladeKua5y is doomed. Stop fucking yourself over. You can end it any time, if you have willpower and honest. The problem is that you don't. You have no morality as a person.

Is this Scott Lockwood? No, Scott Lockwood is much wider than that. Is this Scott Lockwood, or is this? There are so many that seem to fit him, I just can't decide.

Oh well. On to the future. There's much to be done, and little time to do it.

WSL throughout the ages!

William Scott Lockwood 1 - Born 1924 to unknown parents. Abandoned in a trash can in New Orleans by his opium-addicted prostitute mother just minutes after birth. Raised in a Catholic orphanage staffed by pedophile priests. Named himself "William Scott Lockwood 1", combining the names of his three favorite Priests/lovers at the orphanage. After puberty, the priests started to ignore him in favor of the younger boys, and he felt jealous and alienated. He ran away at age 14 and lived in the gayest part of the French Quarter, sucking cocks for spare change. At age 17, his first and only sexual encounter with a female (a woman on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras who claimed she was actually a male Drag Queen) resulted in the conception of a child. The woman, Fannie Sassaman, quickly left town and gave birth to the child in secret, without telling WSL1 that they had conceived a son together. WSL1 died in 1949 when his herpes infection migrated to his brain.

William Scott Lockwood 2 - Born 1942 to Fannie Sassaman by WSL1. Originally named Ezekiel Sassaman and raised as a good Jewish boy. A botched circumcision by a drunken Mohil left him with an almost nonfunctional penis. From the ages of 3 to 8, he was forced by his mother to shovel coal on a railroad for a living. At age 8, he learned of the true identity of his father, converted to Catholicism, and went to New Orleans to search for his father. (Fannie Sassaman's story doesn't end there, but we'll save it for a later date.) Ezekiel Sassaman renamed himself William Scott Lockwood 2 after his father, who he found lying dead in a gutter when he reached New Orleans. He joined up with a railroad hobo gang, and spent the next two decades riding the rails and carrying out a string of brutal rapes and murders around the country. His damaged penis kept him from conceiving any children, but in 1969, God blessed him with a miracle: one of the women he raped conceived a child. He married her, and shortly thereafter, WSL3 was born. WSL2 quit the railroad gang after his son's birth and settled down with his victim/wife. He is still wanted by the FBI as one of the most notorious serial killers of this century. He is considered heavily armed, extremely dangerous, and morbidly obese. Let the FBI know if you have seen this man. They have offered a $1,000,000 reward for any information leading to his arrest, capture, or death. After a recent sighting at an Illinois hospital, he is once again at large.

William Scott Lockwood 3 - Born 1969 to a nondescript obese housewife by WSL2. Much has already been written about the life of this man, so I won't cover territory that has already been excellently covered by others before me. Oh, and he runs an obscure website, but only about 5 people actually visit it. Currently struggling with AIDS, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic stress, liver disease, herpes, genital warts, crabs, the Clap, bad acne, morbid obesity, hypertension, and several unidentified illnesses.

William Scott Lockwood 4 - Born 1992 to Wife #2 by WSL3. Mentally scarred by the abuse and molestation he suffered at the hands of his father at a young age. At age 3, he convinced his mother to divorce WSL3, but that didn't stop the abuse, as WSL3 began a campaign of stalking against Wife #2 and WSL4. WSL4 holds the world record as the youngest person to independently get a restraining order issued against his own father, in 1996 at the age of 4. WSL3 lost interest in WSL4 on his sixth birthday, reportedly saying "they're just not sexy anymore when they get that old." His father left him with an AIDS infection, though, and he isn't expected to last much longer.

William Scott Lockwood 5 - ???

William Scott Lockwood 6 - PROFIT!!!

It's been my experience that people who cry "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to sue you!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to come to your house and kick your ass!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to call the police and have them arrest you for being mean to me" whenever they feel personally offended on the Internet tend to be terribly immature and have serious emotional problems. People who aren't confident with themselves and feel inferior about their own abilities try to boost their own self-esteem by making empty threats of lawsuits or physical assault whenever they're on the losing end of a flamewar.

His face will turn red, he'll start to wheeze and stutter, and he will angrily type, "Yeah, well, just wait until I tell my uncle at the CIA about how rude you've been to me! He'll come and arrest you and you'll go to jail and I'll sue you for everything you have! Then I'll kick your ass, and have sex with your girlfriend!"

He will then drag his corpulent, out-of-shape, virginal body across the basement to bed and drift off to slumber thinking "Wow, I'm sure I really scared those bastards! I'm sure they'll think twice before disagreeing with ME again!" He'll feel only a slight twinge of hollow emptiness the next day when he sees his uncle, who rather than working for the CIA, is actually the assistant janitor at the local McDonald's.

A few people who seem to fit the stereotype quite well of being absolute assholes on the Internet and then threatening to sue or call the FBI, CIA, and KGB when anyone who calls them on it:

Bernard Shifman

Robert Novak

Scott Lockwood

Were these three people long-lost triplets, seperated at birth? Why do they behave in exactly the same way? Do they share a common mental disease? Or are they all actually the same person? We may never know.

Scott Lockwood whines just to hear himself.

"You know, I'd stay retired if these fools would just find another target."

We did. We had an agreement. We moved on to other things. Scott Lockwood didn't. Scott Lockwood couldn't STAND being left alone. He can't live without negative attention, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to atract it. He had, and still does, have the chance to be left alone FOREVAR, just by shutting the hell up. We gave him once chance, and he flat-out lied to us. We left him alone, and he couldn't stand it, so he started spamming himself all over the Internet and goading us to pay attention to him again.

We put up with it for quite a while, but the frequency and volume of his attention-seeking continued to increase. Well, if he wants attention, he'll get it.

Scott Lockwood, it's all up to you. You can stop it any time you like. You know that VladeKua5y is doomed. Stop fucking yourself over. You can end it any time, if you have willpower and honest. The problem is that you don't. You have no morality as a person.

Is this Scott Lockwood? No, Scott Lockwood is much wider than that. Is this Scott Lockwood, or is this? There are so many that seem to fit him, I just can't decide.

Oh well. On to the future. There's much to be done, and little time to do it.

It's been my experience that people who cry "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to sue you!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to come to your house and kick your ass!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to call the police and have them arrest you for being mean to me" whenever they feel personally offended on the Internet tend to be terribly immature and have serious emotional problems. People who aren't confident with themselves and feel inferior about their own abilities try to boost their own self-esteem by making empty threats of lawsuits or physical assault whenever they're on the losing end of a flamewar.

His face will turn red, he'll start to wheeze and stutter, and he will angrily type, "Yeah, well, just wait until I tell my uncle at the CIA about how rude you've been to me! He'll come and arrest you and you'll go to jail and I'll sue you for everything you have! Then I'll kick your ass, and have sex with your girlfriend!"

He will then drag his corpulent, out-of-shape, virginal body across the basement to bed and drift off to slumber thinking "Wow, I'm sure I really scared those bastards! I'm sure they'll think twice before disagreeing with ME again!" He'll feel only a slight twinge of hollow emptiness the next day when he sees his uncle, who rather than working for the CIA, is actually the assistant janitor at the local McDonald's.

A few people who seem to fit the stereotype quite well of being absolute assholes on the Internet and then threatening to sue or call the FBI, CIA, and KGB when anyone who calls them on it:

Bernard Shifman

Robert Novak

Scott Lockwood

Were these three people long-lost triplets, seperated at birth? Why do they behave in exactly the same way? Do they share a common mental disease? Or are they all actually the same person? We may never know.