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Domain: suck.com

Stories and comments across the archive that link to suck.com.

Comments · 191

  1. Re:Are linux adverts still bad adverts? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0 · on MacBook Pro (2016) Disappointment Pushes Some Apple Loyalists To Ubuntu Linux (betanews.com)

    Indeed. See the first news item in the Slashdot Suck parody from 1999.

  2. Much closer then the rest of them. by Gription · · Score: 1 · on There Is No "You" In a Parallel Universe

    The "measurement made by a conscious being" is not the deciding point. It just makes it more interesting. The quantum implications of the uncertainty principle doesn't require a consciousness to 'make a measurement' that would cause a wave function to collapse to a single solution. It happens all the time with normal interactions. The only unique thing about a consciousness being involved is we can decide to set up the conditions where it will happen and then we notice it. No one spends a lot of time on what we don't notice...

    I think almost all of this discussion comes under the second heading of: http://www.suck.com/daily/1997...

  3. Re:Linux? by tracktwo · · Score: 1 · on 15 Years of Stuff That Matters

    I dunno... 13 years later and suckdot is still eerily accurate.

  4. Re:...and all the screens are stuck together... by Hal_Porter · · Score: 2 · on A Sticky Touch Screen Lets You Feel the Buttons

    http://www.suck.com/daily/99/12/13/daily.html

  5. I've got three sites by tjstork · · Score: 1 · on Montana City Requires Workers' Internet Accounts

    Site 1: http://www.suck.com/
    Site 2: http://www.my.com/
    Site 3: http://www.wang.com/

  6. Re:The prefect blueprint? by vivek7006 · · Score: 1 · on Mozilla Dev Team On Firefox's Success

    I remember that back in 2000 when I was in still school, I took a course on "software engineering". The instructor talked about why rewriting code from scratch was a bad idea and code reuse should be preferred. He cited the example of failed Mozilla project. He was not alone, many others said at that time that Mozilla was dead. Its really funny to now read these insightful articles.

  7. It is really dead by Ilgaz · · Score: 1 · on Mozilla Celebrates Its 10th Birthday

    Just read the Suck.com article

    You are saying like the author says "there will be 5 computers on this planet". :)

    Back in 2000, Mozilla was a horrible, lost its focus complete slow/bloated thing. It has changed when Mozilla people sit down and think what is wrong and that thinking ended up in Firefox, browser today and its companion Thunderbird.

    Go back in time thanks to Wayback machine to the time that flame was written:

    http://web.archive.org/web/20001218010700/http://www.mozilla.org/

    "Mozilla 0.6 Released
    Mozilla 0.6 is a milestone release based on the same branch as Netscape 6."

    With such low UID I assume you have seen that disaster named Netscape 6. You haven't seen it totally if you were using a modern OS like Linux that time. You should be running Windows 98 to experience it totally :) Also remember, this is few months later. For the Netscape/Mozilla community that time, 0.6 was a great milestone. You can now imagine how was Mozilla while author is writing that article.

    That is the "Mozilla" author speaks about and it is (thank God) dead.

  8. Mozilla's dead by monopole · · Score: 2, Interesting · on Mozilla Celebrates Its 10th Birthday

    Just read the Suck.com article

  9. Re:This month? by jamie · · Score: 4, Interesting · on Slashdot Turns 10 But You Get The Presents

    PS- does anybody remember the "suckdot" parody suck.com did? The Penguin with the scimitar was hilarious.

    Porn for Nerds. Stuff that splatters.

  10. Re:Porns for nerd, stuff that matters by Jarik_Tentsu · · Score: 1 · on Americans Giving Up Social Life for the Web

    Well, if you've read suckdot:

    http://www.suck.com/daily/99/12/13/daily.html

    Suckdot, porn for nerds, stuff that *splatters*.

  11. Suck.com by SKorvus · · Score: 1 · on Blogging Is 10 Years Old

    Suck.com was publishing almost-daily since 1995.

    http://www.suck.com/daily/archive/1995.html

  12. Nerd trifecta by Hal_Porter · · Score: 5, Funny · on Organism Survives 100 Million Years Without Sex

    Front page stories

    * Dungeons & Dragons and IT
    * Organism Survives 100 Million Years Without Sex
    * Gifted Children Find Heavy Metal Comforting

    Did anyone see suck's parody of slashdot?

    http://www.suck.com/daily/99/12/13/daily.html

    Doesn't seem so funny now, does it?

  13. Uhhhh, ... no by Gription · · Score: 5, Insightful · on Two Snowflakes May Be Alike After All

    [sarcasm]
    . . .
    [/sarcasm]
    Leave the snowflakes alone, try to research if we can get something to fuel our cars after a decade or two or try to find the cure for utter stupidity. Hearing something useful coming out from science is rather rare these days, probably because really interesting stuff is not published or wouldn't interest the business giants like oil producers.
    . . . This is the same attitude that generates the idea that the manned space program of the 60s was a waste of money.

    Believe it or not the largest payout from research is generally not directly the target of the research. We call this serendipity .

    Off the top of my head the study of this subject would require the researcher to apply his efforts (described here as apparently useless) on the details of crystal formation, manipulating factors of said formation, crystalline structure, and the statistical analysis of crystal formation, besides who knows how many other details that we will never know because we weren't involved.

    Let me see if I can come up with some "useless" applications for knowledge in this research track. How about crystalline formation in metals? I bet the aerospace industry has no need for this type of knowledge as they try to come up with ways to grow single crystal blocks of titanium to form turbine blades or anything else that requires insanely high strength. As an example (from memory): the tensile strength of cast iron is a little more then 10,000 psi. The tensile strength of iron formed as a single crystal is somewhere around 100,000 psi! If I remember correctly, the single crystal tensile strength of carbon is 500,000 psi. The reason for these amazing numbers is that the primary weakness is always the crystalline boundaries. (reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_crystal )

    Another "useless" application of this type of research is crystalline formation as it relates to pharmaceutical research. Did you know that the (apparently unimportant and profitless) pharmaceutical companies actually sent an experiment up into orbit just so they could see how crystals grow in zero G? That sounds like it must be an incredibly lavish waste of their shareholder's money (by one of the greediest industries in the world (personal opinion)).

    Fun facts:
    - When you analyze a crystal you can tell the strength of the gravity field it was formed under.
    - Crystalline formation is a state change and controlling this can allow you to do all sorts of interesting things from scalding the hell out of yourself heating water in a microwave, to creating so called meta materials.(reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta_materials )
    - And finally: Utter stupidity is often caused by not looking any deeper then the surface of a subject. (reference: http://www.suck.com/daily/97/11/12/1.html )
  14. Re:Unbelievable text formatting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0 · on The Making of the South Park WoW Episode

    It's true. It almost reads like something from 1996.

  15. Re:Remember the CBDTPA? by CurbyKirby · · Score: 1 · on Opera 9.0 Fully Passes ACID2 Test

    We ultimately decide who's in power as far as technology goes. We tell the non-techs what to buy, and they believe us. Dell and MS commercials play a large part in obstructing our goals, lying to our non-tech friends and confusing them, but as long as we don't just give in and start to believe the lies there is hope.

    There is truth in what you say, but perhaps you are unrealistically optimistic. How long have we been fighting the DMCA now? How much more damaging has it been to research (Felten, Ferguson) and entertainment (bnetd, aibopet.com) than IE6's broken rendering? Well, IE6 is pretty bad, but you get my gist.

    The most sorely needed geeks are folks like Lessig (Eldred, Creative Commons), Rick Boucher (DMCRA), and Russ Feingold (voted against PATRIOT Act), who can actually do something. Law trumps code, and law definitely trumps Slashdot.

    Suck.com said it best: http://www.suck.com/daily/2000/09/08/daily.html

    I'm a big fan of Internet standards, and I haven't used IE since Mozilla's Phoenix 0.2, but we need to be realistic here, and understand the real structure of power in technology.

  16. Re:heh by Tim+Browse · · Score: 1 · on Cinematics Do Matter?
    Maybe they should change the slogan to "Circle-jerks for nerds. Stuff that splatters."

    1999 called. They want their joke back.

    Btw, I think you misunderstand the slashdot slogan. It's an 'or' construct, not an 'and' construct. And if you want to flame me for being a geek about that, then you're definitely reading the wrong website.

    But I wish you well at Digg. Your insightful and reasoned commentary will fit right in with all the "Digg! This is kewl!" comments. Although if you throw your toys out of the pram whenever you get a couple of offtopic mods, you might want to toughen up that skin a bit.

  17. Re:What is it with US and the word "illegal" by evilviper · · Score: 1 · on Eight Charged in Episode III Early Release
    "illegal release". [...] "illegal filesharing"

    I'm glad they are using 'illegal' in those cases at least. Despite the best efforts of the RIAA/MPAA, filesharing is still perfectly legal, and there is a significant ammount of legal filesharing going on. 'release' also doesn't suggest that anything illegal is happening.

    Is this something normal for US papers? Do they write about "illegal murder", "illegal robbery" etc too? Or is this just sligtly modified PR?

    Not the word illegal so much, but highly typified, subjective, emotional descriptions are all too common, in lieu of actual substance, I'm sory to say.

    The only place I've ever heard anyone actually calling them on it, is in this very good piece: http://www.suck.com/daily/97/11/24/daily.html

    One of the few good things to come out of suck.com IMHO.
  18. Re:Slashdot crew has prior art! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0 · on Podcasting from Space

    Oh yes! "The latest installment of Geeks Jabbering at a Mic is up. Listen to CaptBean, Mentos, and Nicknameless Nate exchange inside jokes and giggle." - The Suck

  19. The more things change... by TurtleBlue · · Score: 2, Insightful · on Supreme Court Rules against Grokster

    Both supreme court rulings made me think of an old suck.com article - I found it and it's still surprisingly relevant (though pretty hard on us "tech" people).

    "Downtime by Law"
    http://www.suck.com/daily/2000/09/08/

    My favorite quote (even as it makes me cringe): "But the blind narcissism that leads geeks to confuse 'can be done' with 'will be allowed' is disastrously naive."

  20. Re:www.slashdot.xxx by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0 · on New .XXX Top Level Domain

    http://www.suck.com/daily/99/12/13/

  21. Re:Spaceballs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0 · on Sun's Schwartz Attacks GPL

    no, but the headline made me think of the first story on this slashdot parody page: "Linux Possibly Defamed Somewhere"

  22. Re:I am confused by 3terrabyte · · Score: 0, Redundant · on New Photoshop Details Leaked
    Hey asshat, I answered his real question.
    Today's leak about Friday's announcement of a May release...

    His rhetorical question is offtopic and up for speculation. Maybe you should start a website about how much Slashdot sucks.

  23. FOSS doesn't want to compete by The+Bungi · · Score: 5, Insightful · on "Enemies of Linux" Trying to Undermine OS?
    It just wants to whine, cry foul and point the finger at the big bully "ooohhh, look, OMFG! how dare they attack us, we're so goood!!"

    Now that IBM, RHN and Novell are in the ring, Microsoft, Oracle, CA and everyone else are starting to see Linux as a competitor. The problem is that most people in FOSS are not used to competition, they prefer enemies. Enemies are easier to vilify and ridicule. Competitors who are eating your lunch are not. This whole "we are holier than thou and you are so evil" thing is not going to work out there in the real world. Linux needs to compete, not be surrounded by fanboys who can pick their noses and chuckle when they write "Microshaft" and "Windoze".

    Slashdot has been the main front in this whining battle for the past few years. It's gone mainstream now, of sorts, and people are starting to notice the ridiculous "OMFG WINDOZE IS TEH SUXX" headlines that adorn the front page day in and day out, complete with borg icon. And don't complain about Microsoft saying this or the other about Linux when most of you spend your waking hours claiming that Windows cannot be secured or otherwise used as a computing platform, using anecdotal data points to build feel-good statistics that only you believe.

    Grow up and compete. The "some dude said something bad about Linux"-style whines like this article are starting to sound more and more like Suckdot.

  24. Re:Skewed? by Naikrovek · · Score: 1 · on Li-Ion With 300% More Power, Minutes to Recharge

    you're right. as much as slashdot thinks it is, it is not a news site. i don't think a single person that writes stories for this site has even taken journalism 101.

    there is so much bias and prejudgement in the words of many of these authors that it almost gives me heartburn to read some of these stories. what's worse, is when an author mentions something bad, and the whole freaking discussion lights up very much Jihaad style.

    Go read Suck.com's old parody of Slashdot and see just what's changed in almost 5 and a half years. Nothing. Same stories day in and day out, same design, same judgemental attitude.

    This is not a news site. Don't expect it to reflect actual journalistic principles.

  25. Re:What a horrible article by HanzoSpam · · Score: 1 · on Are Today's Polls Clueless?

    The truly scary part is that it's only just begun. We have about 25 years of Boomers to survive before their voting block begins to, quite literally, die off. If you think it's bad now, it's only going to get worse for the forseeable future. Assuming we survive that long.

    What you left out is, one of the reasons we're in the jam that we're in is because of boomers spending a lifetime voting themselves fat government benefits. Somebody's going to have to pay the taxes to subsidize those Social Security and Medicare benefits. Guess who.

    Thanks a lot, boomers

  26. I hope it fails by Lord+Grey · · Score: 3, Funny · on This Headline Is Not for Sale
    [IntelliTxt by Vibrant Media] works by underlining certain words in an article so that when a reader runs his cursor over one of them, an ad springs up. For example, in a story on antivirus software, words like "virus," "security" and "worms" might be highlighted. Then readers, if they so choose, could mouse over one or all of them, click on a "sponsored link" and go straight to the advertiser's website.
    This would truly suck if became popular.
  27. Well, it's not a brand new Lexus... by sporktoast · · Score: 1 · on X-Connect 500W Modular PSU

    Or even the sun ...
    But it certainly is shiny! Time will tell if it is truly useful.

  28. Choose Your Axes by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Matrix Decision Making
    The key to creating a successful 2x2 matrix for decision making is choosing two meaningful qualities or attributes you wish to quantify in opposition to one another.

    Excellent examples would include the following:

    After such inspirational examples, the book is largely redundant.
  29. Choose Your Axes by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Matrix Decision Making
    The key to creating a successful 2x2 matrix for decision making is choosing two meaningful qualities or attributes you wish to quantify in opposition to one another.

    Excellent examples would include the following:

    After such inspirational examples, the book is largely redundant.
  30. Choose Your Axes by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Matrix Decision Making
    The key to creating a successful 2x2 matrix for decision making is choosing two meaningful qualities or attributes you wish to quantify in opposition to one another.

    Excellent examples would include the following:

    After such inspirational examples, the book is largely redundant.
  31. Choose Your Axes by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Matrix Decision Making
    The key to creating a successful 2x2 matrix for decision making is choosing two meaningful qualities or attributes you wish to quantify in opposition to one another.

    Excellent examples would include the following:

    After such inspirational examples, the book is largely redundant.
  32. Choose Your Axes by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Matrix Decision Making
    The key to creating a successful 2x2 matrix for decision making is choosing two meaningful qualities or attributes you wish to quantify in opposition to one another.

    Excellent examples would include the following:

    After such inspirational examples, the book is largely redundant.
  33. Re:Matrices by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Matrix Decision Making
    It's not quite a decade since she started writing the Filler column for the Suck website, but Polly Esther was doing 2x2 matrices all the time.

    The difference is that hers were funny, and lacked any sense of self-importance. Take a look at the archive sometime.

  34. Re:Geek Action Figures I'd Rather See by wintermute1974 · · Score: 1 · on Finally Geeks Available in Action Figure Form

    The market may not be big enough to justify geeky action figures of each and every hero we have.

    Instead, I propose that we create a set of trading cards with a piece of bubble gum inside it. These would be something like the cards that suck.com made a few years ago, only with people that weren't all 15-minute famers.

    The production costs would be less for cards than figures, they are more easily packed and shipped, and their cost will be less, letting even the independently impoverished (as opposed to wealthy) geek collect them.

    I'd gladly trade one of my five copies of Charles Babbage for one of your obscure Teilhard de Chardin trading cards!

  35. Suck article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0 · on Inferno 4 Available for Download

    That's pretty accurate. Inferno and Java started out with similar ambitions but took very different paths.

    The 1996 perspective on this has been preserved as in amber by this Suck article.

    (For the youngsters out there: Suck was one of the first web-zines. They had some ... odd ... ideas about page layout.)

  36. Prior Art in Suck.com by Rudolfo · · Score: 1 · on Professor and Student Thwart P2P File Sharing

    This method was talked about in a Suck.com column four years ago:

    http://www.suck.com/daily/2000/03/24/nc_index4.htm l

    The author's suggestion: register thousands of accounts Napster with hundreds of song titles. Each song is actually "Achy-Breaky Heart"

  37. Ana Marie Cox by andy@petdance.com · · Score: 0 · on Wonkette and the Ethics of Online Journalism

    Ana Marie Cox was also one of the key people at the long dearly-departed Suck.

  38. and this is why I even READ slashdot by geekpuppySEA · · Score: 1 · on Wonkette and the Ethics of Online Journalism
    Otherwise I might as well be reading Wired or Linuxnews. I want the news, AND the witty / insightful / interesting commentary.

    Wonkette is essentially a poster on slashdot who gets +5 Funny in every post. (She and her colleagues used to do it all the time on suck.com.)

  39. You mean *this* one? by nacturation · · Score: 3, Funny · on Stop! Website Thief!

    Mirror site

  40. Re:Suck.com by sulli · · Score: 1 · on Dot-Com Service Memories?

    Suck.com is missed. The archive is still up - and at the original domain name, even though the owner (Carl) could easily sell it to a porn site for a pretty penny.

  41. Re:Advice needed! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Flamebait · on Previewing the Next Solaris OS

    Record it, and post it online? In fact, you might see if these people are interested ;-)

  42. Where are they now? Most tragic bubble loss is: by Atario · · Score: 1 · on Have We Learned from the New Economy?


    Suck.com.

    Then: Hilarious, thoughtful, well-written social commentary on a daily basis.

    Now: Stuck in eternal reruns.

    Sad, really.

  43. Ahh . now this is parody by acomj · · Score: 1 · on Google Asks Booble To Cease And Desist
    Suckdot the best parody of slashdot circa 1999... I wonder if they'd sue them today. I miss suck.com...

  44. Re:What, like movies? by Yet+Another+Smith · · Score: 2, Interesting · on Will TiVo Destroy Ad-Supported TV?

    Part of the goal is not to make you want a Jeep per-se. Its to make sure that if you want a Jeep/LandCruiser/LandRover/SUV, that you think about Jeeps, and don't go strait for a LandCruiser.

    I didn't know Jeep had a new thing they were calling a Rubicon until they made the second Tomb Raider. I didn't end up seeing Tomb Raider II, and I wouldn't buy a Jeep on a dare. But I know its there if I'd want one, and probably wouldn't if it weren't for the joint marketing blitz.

    I wonder what percentage of the Tivo owning public hasn't been missing 2/3 of commercials anyway, because they're the part of the market demographic (like me) that flips channels. They're probably losing less than 2/3s of commercials, since many were already being skipped/muted/ignored before. Still, I do remember commercials (I remember the Jeep Rubicon, which I don't want, being advertised with Tomb Raider II which I didn't see).

    Then again, web advertising works, too. I saw an ad for a Honda on Suck.com or some such site while I was looking for a car, and ended up test-driving a Prelude after adding Honda to my list of possible cars. I wouldn't have known that the movie Scotland, PA (MacBeth in a diner) existed if it weren't for a banner ad on The Onion. All these jackasses that measure ad effectiveness by click-through are jackasses (as I may have mentioned earlier in this sentence).

    Advertisers need to get their panties out of a wad.

  45. Gracenote is Evil by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Offtopic · on Yamaha MusicCAST Wireless PCM/MP3 Server

    I can't believe it, right on the front of the thing is a little logo that says Gracenote. For those who don't know the history behind Gracenote, here is a quick, really high-level gloss over.

    That gloss-over does gloss over some of the more evil details, but it gets to the heart of the matter (you can stop reading once he starts talking about Hamlet).

    Gracenote has no ethical right to exist, and thus I will never pay even a cent for a product that uses Gracenote's service, and neither should you.

  46. Re:SCO by bstadil · · Score: 1 · on SCO Targets US Government, TiVo
    They took a hint from Salam Rushdie.

    His follow up to Satanic Verses was Buddha you fat fuck

  47. Re:Opera now has an XPFE though! by Doktor+Memory · · Score: 2, Insightful · on AOL Lays Off 50 Netscape Coders

    For the record, I have nothing against the concept of cross-platform development toolkits. They can be great, time-saving things.

    But. Priorities. Opera developed a functional product that could be used by the vast majority of their paying customers first. Then they prototyped and shipped versions for secondary platforms. After they started seeing revenue (or the potential for revenue; I'm not privy to their books, merely aware that they're apparently still in business, unlike the Mozilla team), they then wrote the minimum amount of glue to allow them to ship their releases in lockstep. And they did it in what...a quarter of the time it took to build a functional XPFE browser? An eighth?

    Second point: XUL was more than just a cross-platform widget set. If that had been all that it was, Moz 1.0 would have shipped in 1999, maybe even 1998. People write cross-platform toolsets all the damn time, and it rarely takes half a decade to do. No, XUL/XUI/XPFE were the logical result of Netscape drinking its own "it's not a web browser, it's an application platform! " kool-aid. It's an API, it's an application framework, it's a development toolkit, it's an XML parser, it's a widget set, it'll walk your dog and it gets your whites whiter!

    Just search for comments from users with mozilla.org and netscape.com addresses on slashdot for the past few years: Mozilla wasn't just going to be a better web browser, it was going to be the foundation for an entire industry of "mozilla-based web applications" that someone, somewhere, was sure to write.

    See, as far as I can tell, it's the not-so-secret desire of just about every developer who ever lived to write The One Universal Cross-Platform Middleware Library That Everyone Will Use Forever. Therefore, except in the exceedingly rare instances where doing that is the actual stated and understood project plan from the CEO on down (ie: win32, java, .net, openstep), the job of every project manager in the world is to stand behind that developer's back with a rattan cane, and smack them across the shoulders everytime they start to try it. Netscape's management completely failed in this critical task, and Microsoft's near-total control of a market that 5 years ago they were an also-ran in is the entirely predictable result.

  48. Re:Good lord by sulli · · Score: 1 · on Open Source Law

    Maybe they're riffing on the classic look of Suck, the dear departed daily?

  49. Re:Or not... by dr00g911 · · Score: 4, Insightful · on GIF Patent Prepares to Expire

    What's your beef with Adobe, anyhow? Hell, you've got stock?!?!?

    (throwing away previously modded points in this thread, simply because I don't get it)

    As far as huge software companies go, they're pretty benign in my view.

    And they make some absolutely excellent software. Again, my view, but I'm sure I can get someone around here to corroborate.

    Photoshop is the best piece of software out there for image manipulation. Bar none.

    Gimp may be nice, but it's not as easy to use and it doesn't have anywhere near the polish as its older brother.

    Same goes for After Effects/Film Gimp.

    PDF is wonderful. PDF is open.

    Try making your living as an artist, animator or effects guy using all open-source tools. It's possible, but way more trouble than it's worth.

    That's why I *buy* Adobe software, and that's why I run on a Mac platform as well. I'm fully capable of configuring and tweaking whatever linux distro is currently in vogue, and screwing with XFree so that windows don't lock (as) randomly. I just choose not to because my time is worth money, and honestly I get more work done faster in the more polished solution. Period.

    I mean, did John Warnock piss in your cornflakes or something?

  50. Linux Possibly Defamed Somewhere by Hobart · · Score: 1 · on SCO Berates Linus' Approach To Kernel Contributions
    Posted by CaptBean on Monday December 13, @03:05PM
    from the jihad!-jihad! dept.
    RabidZelot was one of a bunch to report: "In Richmond, California, this afternoon, this dude said something bad about Linux at the Hilltop Mall near the fountains right after the first showing of Phantom Menace let out. He was last seen heading towards Sears and has a 'Where Do You Want to Go Today?' T-shirt and brown hair. Let us know when you spot him."
    (from suck ... which lives on as Plastic)