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In other news...

While googling found some other good ones.

In other news...

While googling found some other good ones.

In other news...

While googling found some other good ones.

Bulungi is with you, brother!
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30389

In either case, I get more news off the Internet now, and from non-established sources (e.g. not CNN, not Fox, not the NYT)... I suspect that more of my fellow humans do as well - more than any media corp would ever be willing to admit, even to themselves.

Maybe so. But the rest of the masses will be reading print versions of the drek that appears on Fox News -- or alternately, the drek that is Wolf Blitzer and Lou Dobbs on CNN. People who want real news will have to seek out the print version of "The Daily Show."

Much as I hate to come to the defence of GITMO, of the highlighted changes three are removing information that is readily available in referenced pages. Why the prisoner IDs were removed is an interesting question, but not necessarily malicious.

When you look at the total list of edits from that address, they include pages about Pokemon, roller coasters, Japanese cartoons, and Welsh mythology. There are some more obvious "propoganda" edits, including personal opinions (which were all quickly removed) that seem more like the work of bored browsers[1] than any kind of directed program of misinformation.

===References===
[1] http://www.theonion.com/content/node/50902 *** ERIC IS A FAG ***

Yes. And with good reason! You can't have these things goin' wild, you know.

( Seriously; I actually know other roomba owners who seem to be afraid of their roombas and I'm not entirely sure why. Mine's named Hobie and it's the best pet ever! )

Where the government fails, private enterprises step in and do their part! http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government

As usual, reality imitates the Onion:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government

Hey, even Radio Shack's CEO can't figure out how they stay in business. Favorite quotes: "You wouldn't think that people still buy enough strobe lights and extension cords to support an entire nationwide chain, but I guess they must, or I wouldn't have this desk to sit behind all day."

"I know one thing," Day continued. "If Sony and JVC start including gold-tipped cable cords with their products, we're screwed."

The Onion already did that.

Pepsi Super Bowl Ad Raises Worldwide Pepsi-Awareness .00000000001 Percent.

But of course, it is not only Iran. You should also be aware that since This Monster became the president of Cuba, the USA has put lots of sanctions too, like exporting and commerce. And then they blame the government for the lack of resources...

The Onion had a story about that: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54360

Because otherwise, things like this happen.

Oh yeah? First off, you have a wife, which implies you have a human sexual partner, which is an issue of concern in and of itself. We're not going to talk about this, but I just want you to know we regard you with extreme suspicion as a result of that statement.

Second, you cannot offer contradicting examples "in lieu" of evidence, you arrogant vagina. Your attempt at grammatical decor is so disgusting, so contorted, you could substitute that sentence in for a whole week of pr0n videos at any old BDSM site and the clientele wouldn't mind. Then you have the nerve (I won't say balls, because you have apparently lost them a long ass time ago) to use the word "lynchpin"... in the *very next sentence*. I am appalled.

My computer and I solve problems rationally. My thesis supervisor and I solve problems rationally. But a wife? Logic? Are you even listening to yourself here? Next you'll be telling us your wife doesn't ask you what you're doing in the bathroom or try to irritate you when you're watching football on TV, or argue incessantly about silly little things in a high pitched voice just to get your attention. If she has boobies, then she will do all these things no matter what sequence of characters you pronounce before her name, and no matter how big her contribution to the PhD-thesis-factory that academic institutions have turned into this century. Enlightened, yeah. You poor man. And there's this certain time of the month, a very special time of the month... hell, why am I even trying. You're a lost case.

You know what, I will stop right here rather than give you a run down of factual evidence that irrational behavior is part of the exam females have to pass to ensure healthy breast development, because you are so painfully brainwashed that any attempt to re-educate you on the subject will have negative consequences on your relationship with your "wife". If you don't have the balls (sorry, never mind) to stand upright and ruffle the hair on your chest and holler out at the stupidity of what the woman is doing, then nothing good can come of this. You may stop solving things logically together. Imagine that. Or maybe you'll break down in tears and tell her to forgive you for leaving the toilet seat up. I won't have that happen to *any* man, even a clueless schmuck like you. It's just wrong.

I run into strange people on the internets... unconceivable, twisted minds. Yet in spite of all your pussyfooting around and your fear of the ad infinitum, you are the best candidate for the male savior of feminism I have seen thus far. Well done, you have my vote.

The Onion

What does perl have to do with The Onion?

Reminds me of "Massive Oil Spill Results In Improved Wildlife Viscosity".

Okay, we get it!

You've seen this I hope?

Or the "jumping on floating bits across lava" scene in... uh, Star Wars III.

That Anakin Skywalker was disfigured in a battle on a lava planet goes all the way back to Lucas' novelization of the first Star Wars film in the 1970s. I do agree that the cinematic realization was inspired by video games, though. Reminds me of this Onion article.

'It's saying Steve Jobs is trying to make customers pay more for the right to do something that's already a right.'

And the concept is old news - it's really just an extension of this program:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/itunes_to_sell_your_home_videos

Excuse me if this sounds radical, but I don't really think it is...

You can't fix it, and industries die with time. There is no reason why anyone should ever expect to be compensated for their work, unless they made a very specific agreement with another person beforehand. That's not a joke. If you are a writer, and it becomes impossible for people to both have their rights (the right to share information freely, in this case) and for you to make money, then guess what? It means you need a new job. This is not an attempt to be snide or mean to writers or artists. People will always create, no matter what. The poorest, most overworked people in the world produce amazing music and writing every day, and are compensated only in the rarest cases. I'm not talking about people at Comedy Central, I'm talking about farmers, file clerks, janitors, and even homeless people. I'm in favor of socialism, but the prevailing religion is the free market. In a truly free market there are no guarantees.

Just let it die, people. It's not like you'll starve to death .

Slander and libel have different restrictions based on who the slander or libel is directed towards.
A libelous remark made toward an individual person can be construed as libel and punished quite easily.

However, when slander or libel is directed toward a highly public figure, which includes just about everyone in the government, one has to prove actual malicious intent for the remark to be considered libel. Also, if a guy is critical of anyone in opinion form "I hate so and so", "I think that policy xyz is stupid" then the remark isn't slander or libel.
This is why parody sites like http://www.theonion.com/ can publish false articles about the president, there's no malicious intent and it's made obvious that they're fake.

It's an old Onion article rewrite... I'd completely forgotten about it, so it was good to see again... :)
Article. He missed a few words, but it was good.

Because they don't all work for the Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

Is there really such a thing as consensual skullfucking?

No, no! You get it all wrong! It is Intelligent Falling!

...just as important as the Theory of Intelligent Falling.

Why shouldn't you be able to have ex co-workers on your "friends" list? Perhaps thinking of them as friends is the problem. They may not be your friends, but they're social contacts. They're people you might want to maintain some level of relationship with, in case your new job doesn't work out, or you're dealing with your old company professionally, or you just want someone to hang out with when you're back in town, or ...

Someone else posted a satirical story about Facebook implementing multiple profiles for different facets of your life. In the grand tradition of satirical stories that later prove true, this is a feature that Facebook desperately needs to implement, to secure their own viability going forward if nothing else.

So far the dl/ul speeds are pretty good, and I haven't noticed the 6 - 9 p.m. slowdown that used to occur. This may become a bigger problem as more people sign up. I do live in Seattle, about a mile from downtown, so if anywhere in the city is going to get good connections it ought to be people in my area.

I'm sorry to hear the abysmal stories about ClearWire but am not especially surprised by them, given how low their nominal competition sets the bar. I can only hope the competition from ClearWire improves cable service, much as mobiles made landline telecos moderately more responsive and satellite TV forced cable companies to improve their offerings, if not their service.

I think they grossly misunderstand the reason people aren't buying DVDs. Target is selling some titles for $6.50. And there are still plenty of those titles left on the shelves. It's not because six and half bucks is too expensive for Snow Dogs, even though it is, it's that nobody wants to be seen actually having a copy of Snow Dogs on their shelves.

I'll refer you to this article from The Onion:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38626

bkd

...so we don't notice that the true purpose of google is to undermine our privacy?

Wait until you see Phase Two.

If you like pitchfork, you ought to read this onion article, which pretty effectively summarizes all of the main issues with pitchfork. Plus it's hilarious.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/pitchfork_gives_music_6_8

p.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/breaking_news_all_online_data

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130/

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39133

"With the new exoskeleton, Stephen will be able to safely handle radioactive isotopes in the high-radiation area of the new supercollider particle accelerator. And his new robo-arms are capable of ripping open enemy tanks like they were nutshells,"

This is an example where copyright is fundamentally broken and hinders our culture

Hang on there a second, Sparky. If your argument is that a Potty Lexicon for children and creepy middle aged wierdos advances our culture, then it's moot, as Rowling appears intent on producing one. The issue is whether this lexicon hinders her incentive to produce one which would, presumably, be superior.

This seems like a clear case that does match the actual goal of copyright, to "promote the progress of science and useful arts". It's not like Disney or Fox suing the pants off of people purely out of meanness.

The same group has published other interesting studies about teen behavior.

Ah ha! So we meet again!

Here is an interview asking the same question.

Worry not, the investigative team at the Onion News Network is all over this issue of the blatant lack of flying cars, and are demanding answers from the big auto manufacturers.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/mean_automakers_dash_nations_hope

Somehow, your post reminds me of http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38734.

An assist for the parent post:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29976

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29976

Creationists are dumb. Mod me up! Don't ya love /. groupthink? Hey, that guy made the same lame joke that someone else told yesterday. How funny! Seriously, the article makes no mention of creationists, but many leading experts (like Dr. Terrance Schneider of the University of Chicago) don't believe there's a skeleton-human link.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as a "relationship". In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage".

Sounds a lot like the Sex-For-Security Scam reported by The Onion about a decade ago. This one has been with us a long time. Yet the police do nothing about it.

Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead Kids