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Windows 99 Beer and Cigarettes
fire writes "I was listening to National Public Radio here in the US, and they've talked about a new beer called Windows 99. It is produced in St. Petersburg, Russia, and it seems there is nothing Microsoft can do. The producer exploited Russia's poor trademark law to trademark the name Windows 99 for all food, drink, and tobacco products. They also said that they will start producing cigarettes under the label Windows 99." See? I told you that Windows was bad for your health. Here's a link to an article about it taken from the St. Petersburg Times.
I got totally blue-screened last night. ~366 days until the start of the third millennium...
It really exists, but it's not the best one on the market anyways.. ;)
C'mon, there are also diapers for a little bit older, more "mature" users too >:-> ... don't tell me please that you don't know what *incontinentia* is. Allez! moderate the previous post up ... or are you just bad mooded after your recent exploit (31 Dec. soiree)? (Too lazy to find/ask-for my password: mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. And, of course and nota bene: I am on GNU/Linux & FreeBSD myself. Ah, of course! Yes, I also know how to change diapers with one hand in 30 seconds, eyes closed --the ones of the original post, still ... to let us understand.)
> Trip on.
Ok, how many people here were tripping last night? It sure was a colorful start of y2k...
CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS AND TELL THEM TO ARM THEMSELVES AND TO SHOOT A DARK-SKINNED MIDDLE-EASTERN MAN IN A ROBE IF THEY SEE HIM .. YES I KNOW IT PISSES OFF RACIST FUNDIES WHO DESPISE THE THOUGHT OF ANYTHING EXPECT A WHITE, BLUE-EYED JESUS
.. but hell, its your soul, isn't it!!
nice, he's your lord and savior and you advocate shooting him. I'd hate to be in you're shoes after you die
but I want to talk about this "Jesus was dark-skinned" fallacy. your wrong. TOTALLY WRONG. Jesus, my lord and savior, was WHITE. notice his parents were named MARY and JOSEPH!!! they weren't named AHMED and MUFASA or some shit like that. I am confident that my lord and savior was as fair skinned as I am. he is NOT a darker-skinned person. I would never worship one of those animals. michaelangelo got it right when he painted jesus. dont be fooled by these idiot hispanics who are trying to reinvent jesus. WHAT IN THE HELL!!!! they don't even belong in this country and they're trying to reinvent JESUS!!!!
oh shut up =P
Someone go make Linux Red Dog beer.
don't go here
Poor trademark law? Well it seems that USA and Russia has more in common than you are willing to admit.
Maybe it's just me, but the icons on the top aren't right. All but the most recent Y2K story has it's icon missed in the header list.
Then the DVD lawyers can't touch it. Ha ha!
I love you, you love me, we're a happy fa-mi-ly...
I don't like all this emphasis in the Linux community of drinking, particularly beer. There are some of us who would never touch alcoholic beverages and who would appreciate a product line of alcohol-free, animal-free products.
Save a tree today!
holy shit. "Death Tan" is a trademark for sunscreen!
I hate microsoft as much as everyone else, but come on is this really "stuff that matters?"
Amen to that!
Apple Brandy begins competing with other new to-market alcoholic drinks... :-)
I thought this was another annoying off-topic thread, but if you read it, it's worthwhile... :-)
I think I could be a regular user to crash after too much windows 99 beer...
... all they need now is a windows 99 escort service - goon
JRYY VG YBBXF YVXR GUR L2X OHT QVQA'G ERNE VG'F HTYL URNQ. WELL IT LOOKS LIKE THE Y2K BUG DIDN'T REAR IT'S UGLY HEAD LRC. GUR QBBZFNLREF UNIR ORRA CEBIRA JEBAT LRG NTNVA. YES. THE DOOMSAYERS HAVE BEEN PROVEN WRONG YET AGAIN. QVQ LBH FRR GUNG GBB? DID YOU SEE THAT TOO? UBHFGBA JR UNIR N CEBOYRZ. HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ NOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLM
Vodka is cursed.
Tea is twice cursed.
Windows is thrice cursed.
Name it something like "Penguin Vodka" and you've got yourself a viable business plan there. I dunno about you, but I'd buy a couple of bottles.
I like the idea of Windows toilet paper--just seems like an appropriate place to be putting the MS-Windows logo...
'nuff said...
Drink Windows 99, install Windows 2000. It could be called 'The Mindbender', and be all the rage at cybercafes.
I really don't see the big deal. 'Windows' can't be patented just because Gates ripped off Apple and called the ripoff 'Windows'. It's a publicity stunt, for both MS and the Beerman.
Product idea!
Linux Wipes extra soft, the new brand of toilet paper!
Beer is much better after you down it.
I honestly want some, has anyone found a source?
Hmmm... not a bad Idea....
Using Windows 99 may be hazardous to your and your environments health.
[:]
I was reminded of the ThinkGeek glasses. I don't drink beer, but I was just reminded of it.
Speaking of beer, what happened with CowboyNeal's beer provisions now? How about the rest of the guys?
First hoax of the billenium? How could calling a beer a "window" confuse anyone into thinking it was an operating system? What a stupid trademark, this "windows" thing anyway. I wonder, under international trademark law, could I open a window factory (the kind made out of glass so you can see out your house without getting cold) and call my brand windows?
What next?
Windows snacks? Windows toilet paper? Windows underpants? Windows garbage cans? Versions of Linux named Windows 99? Pictures of Natalie Portman with Windows 99 logo over them? Beowulf clusters?
If you read the story, Russia has different trademark laws. You can trademark the same name, provided you make a different product, and so forth.
Only in some countries is it illegal to drink and drive.
Apple had to strike a deal with the McIntosh amplifier company (which makes high-end stereo equipment) that Apple wouldn't use the Macintosh brand for any audio equipment. Hence the "Sosueme" system sound that shipped with Macs when they started using a higher quality sound chip.
And Apple was sued by Apple Records.
Those felonious phone phreaks who founded Apple Computer have even said they named it after Apple Records.
Linus wasn't. He's a family man now.
However, Richard Stallman is one of those people we used to call "acid burned." I know a few people like him locally. They never made it off campus, and they live in paranoid worlds of delusion. Everybody is out to get them, so they construct fantasy worlds and constructs (i.e. the GPL) to protect themselves. Unfortunately, they take up excess space on campus that should be going to people who know that college is a transition not a destination.
One person I know who fits this "acid burned" description was a bottle washer for years, now is a higher-level tech in a medical lab, because when you hang around the labs long enough growing, selling, and doing mushrooms, you've gotta soak something up besides neurotoxins.
I wonder if the beer is sanitary, ulike Windows
No, you are dangerous.
Please turn in all computing equipment in your posession. You can pick up your IBM Correcting Selectric II at Loading Dock #7.
Windows=bad cheap beer
Linux=good free beer
note the dates on the comments on the original article taken from the st petersburg times... date in the year 19100
I tried a few bottles of this crap. You won't beleive it - I saw the Blue Screen of Death. I had to reboot my stomach then.
Really? Either there are some countries out there that are amazingly stupid, or the cars there are made of rubber and don't go faster than 10MPH.
does russia have bad narcotics laws, too? think i could start up a Windows 2000 Blunt Stand or some such? just a thought for all the crack-smokers among us...
If the beer is ordered at a bar in a shotglass, wouldn't it be WinCE?
Yes, those are clearly both wrong. The correct notation is 2000-01-01.
That'll be the day.
yess!!! -- Boris
Are there any countries that simply prohibit driving when incapacitated (come on, sleep deprivation is just as dangerous!), or do they all ban zero or more specific drugs?
Apple computers actually has to license it's name from the Apple Record Company which is of course owned by EMI and used to release all records made by the beatles and any ex-beatles. Oh well, puts paid to that theory
The programmer wasn't assuming anything, but just wasn't thinking. When the tm_year would be a 2-digit number it would now print 1900... or maybe even 190.
I wouldn't trust a Windows condom. Would you?
It has a much better *uptime*
Strange and probably means nothing, but now I really think slashdot needs a y2k check. :) The last 4 articles sid's go between 00/01/01 and 99/12/30, not terribly important I know, but maybe rob and crew should do a bug-hunt or release a current copy of the code so w can help. :) Me, I've been battling perl constantly all year, so I'm ready to battle some more. :)
bash: ispell: command not found
This sig left intentionally blank.
Check out dates of the reply posts at the bottom of that page... this is one of the many wwwboards that clearly has the 19100 bug. The programmer who wrote it apparently assumed that the localtime function would always return a two digit year. WRONG!
The messed date format says 1/1/100 on the reply posts.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
Someone moderate this flamebaiter down...
;) )..
Y'know, gang, there really are a lot of very smart, very mature people who happen to be under 18 (for the record, I'm not one of them.. I'm neither under 18 nor very smart or mature
With spending like this, exactly what are "conservatives" conserving?
For those that don't know:
;)
You're going to see a LOT of this in web-based stuff... classic mistake of prepending 19 instead of adding 1900 to the number. The standard localtime() struct stores the year as (year - 1900) so 1999 = 99,and 2001 = 101. This is a novice mistake that no one should make if they've read the llama book.
It's a well-known fact that the insect species popularly known as "Wytookay" imbibes immense ammounts of alcohol in order to keep itself free of disease. This also has the known side-effect of causing the insect to make noises that sound much like "Buy another round on me!" - thus this particular species of insect is often used by certain members of the population to garner free drinks at the local pub.
There is a double glazing company based near Fareham, Hampshire, England called MS Windows. I hope they don't crash when you try and open more than one window at a time. They have been established far longer than MS, but I doubt that the lawyers think that's a fair excuse. I hope they continue to use the name, because it might give MS Windows a good reputation... (on average)
Installation of this product may result in your computers unwilligness to function.
Slight rephrazing:
Installation of this product may result in the targets unwillingness to function.
And voila, it can be used for both Windows-the OS and Windows-the beer. :-)
To live up to the name, will there will be a 30% chance any given bottle of this stuff is methanol instead of ethanol? And people will expect that and pay money for it anyway?
10Brett-T
Oh, bother.
sorry should have posted these earlier
h tml
a ges/386.html
http://slashdot.org/articles/99/12/16/1248216.s
http://www.hexnet.org/library/lt-start.html
http://209.24.94.208/mentos/
http://radiant.org/bubastis/deity/hemp.html
http://varla.tapehouse.com/~zebob/powerpro/mess
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
Windows 99 - Will give you more downtime than any competing product.
I wonder if Blue Screen of Death is copyrighted...
Chris
San Francisco values: compassion, tolerance, respect, intelligence
Why would anyone in their right mind (at least before the first one) want to drink beer with a Y2K bug?
now we need to go OSS in diesel cars
I don't think you can make a sucessful case if the trademarks in question are for entirely different products, like pizza in beer. For example, Apple Computer couldn't stop a produce company from using the word macintosh in a trademark, since its a kind of apple......
So the Russians should be able to get away with calling their beer Windows, but what about the knock off of MS's naming scheme?
this is a necessary step, on the level of pieing
:)
:P
bill
do this wherever, keep it up
No, Blue Screen of Death is not trademarked. [For a product you want a trademark, not copyright -- you copyright the label which you print, although it likely will have your trade mark printed on it also.] I see "Death" is not a popular word in trademarks.
If ( Jesus is purple ) And := Barney;
( Barney is purple ) Then
Jesus
I love you, you love me...
Not nearly as clunky looking.
THE MICROSOFT PROGRAMMER'S DRINKING SONG
TTTO Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk"
Lyrics copyright 1999 Matthew W. Miller <mattm@infinet.com>
I really do appreciate the paychecks from dear Bill
Their jaws all drop in testimony to my codin' skill
But then the marketing gurus all start to file in
The icons are two pixels off, I gotta start again
CHORUS:
Why don't we get drunk and hack?
The best way to work for MS is with a monkey on your back
Pressures from all over, we surely do not lack
So why don't we get drunk and hack?
I've nearly got the spelling checker working sensibly
When Steve from next cube over comes along to say to me
"We're always losin' marketshare to that ol' wily Finn"
And I don't say a word because I'm three sheets to the wind
(REPEAT CHORUS UNTIL MANAGER WALKS IN)
And if they made SUSE beer, you'd pretty much have to buy 6 cases.
Linux - Because Mommy taught me to Share.
The original article says that Micro$oft can't do anything about it because of Russia's poor copyrights. So in other words, they tried. But when someone made Linux fabric softener, it was considered "no contest" since the difference between OS and laundry products "does not cause confusion in the markey"... Sounds kinda like a double standard to me...
Buy a keg of Windows 99 beer and pour it over all your Windows' CDs, disks, manuals, everything Windows and burn it to oblivion!
Everything GNU.
.sigs are useless; it doesn't protect you from imposters.
-kris
Hmmm, yes, insightful. Now I refer you to the eToy scandal... now take into account Microsoft's market capital... At this rate, by the year 2010 I dont think anyone would get away with selling Windhglows boxer shorts...
Though it would be quite interesting if this wasnt in some country with such a sketchy idea of a 'law system', I'd love to see the progress and compare and contrast with the eToy thing.
No I'm sorry Mr Gates, you dont have a case.
Why not? eToys did it, and were a million times bigger!
Okay Mr Gates, on the day of 4th november, when you were in the fourth grade, did the other kids refuse to play with you because they though you were a geek?
Listen I dont see what this ha....
Answer the quetion!!!!! Did tey, or did they not, refuse to play with you because they didnt like you?
well.....yes.
There we go...now i dont like you, and I dont want to play, so get out of my court room.
But...
No buts, do you want me to tell the big kids to get you again....er, I mean, arrest you...
Hey, I live in Germany. I wonder if there has been any exported here yet. I am gonna go to the store on Monday and find out. Wonder if it tastes good.
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world?"
If you buy Windows 99 beer, you must also buy Windows 2000 or Millenium.
Every case of Windows 99 beer will come with a copy of Internet Explorer.
The windows version of Emacs will also stop complaining about beer in the fridge. However, Windows itself will complain if you don't have any Windows 99 in the house.
---
END OF LINE
Alright! An adult on Slashdot who's not so insecure that they have to take it out on their 16-year-old peers.. ("peers" used intentionally :)
This page starts with the following story.
Contributed by CmdrTaco on Thursday January 01, @01:25AM
from the happy-new-year dept.
While most of the rest of the world was passed out frompartying away 1997, some diligent hackers broke in toQuake2.com the popular Quake web site and replaced the homepage with first a pornographic image, and then this image sent to us by Alan Bailward.
_________________________
I was so angry at microsoft for fscking up my computer (i lost all my files) one time, and in anger i kicked a hole in the wall... it was a dry-wall wall but still, microsoft is dangerous.
--
WorldServe Consulting
So does that mean that the Windows 99 stock will rise on the Russian market because they think it is the Mircosoft product? I mean, if people will vote for Napoleon even after he is dead, people might invest in Windows!
---
--------
It's OK to be social, just don't tell anyone about it.
You see, Windows 99 beer was scheduled for release in 1999. Of course, maybe they'll end up changing the name and adding some colored graphics to the can to make up for it:
Beer NT! (New Taste)
One of the reasons that I became a lawyer was to avoid ever having to hire one. -SPYvSPY
No kidding. If you think this is a funny point against microsoft, yer probably wrong.. I mean, look how standard the name has become now.. baically he's won them over psychologically now. What's next?
Fortunately, if Microsoft try to buy a Russian company, the Russian Mafia will be nosing in for a share of the profits faster than Win 95 can crash.
Their marketing people might well be able to sell a square wheel to dolphins, but good luck to them if they try to do it when the killer whales are circling.
--
jtjm
Who's gonna drink a beer in which you gotta agree to a EULA before opening the bottle? I heard the bottles break easily too.
-FweE-
So, if Windows=cheap beer (ex. Natural Lite), and Linux is so much better than Windows, what would Linux be? Heineken? "Keep your hands off my Linny, baby."
.cig - what you do after winning a good flame war
... and apple productors never got sued!
Great! Just what I've been looking for! I already downloaded a case of Windows99 Beer from some Beerz-site. But: Can anybody tell me where I can download a bottle-opener?
I gave up sigs almost a year ago.
Microsoft has made money off of us all at some point in our lives. I think it's just wonderful that someone is able to stick it in microsoft and break it off!!! I never thought I'd say it but GO RUSSIA GO!!!
Disclaimer: Microsoft is not responsible for any physical or mental problems (ie, frustration, broken finger, etc...) caused by excessive rebooting and/or frequent crashes.
All this reminds me of the time a guy walks into the store I used to work at and asked if we had a book on Windows. "Sure" we reply, point him in the right direction. He comes back, says we don't, we say, of course we do, this is a computer-store after all. to make a long story short, turns out the guy was interested in _actual_ Windows (you know, the analog transparent kind) hehe
I enjoy large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate.
up here in the great white north of British Columbia, there is something called 360 Lager, with a cute picture of a penguin and some mountains on the can... www.pwbrewing.com
- visit Fear the Penguin - midnightrealm.org 9000
up here in the great white north of British Columbia, there is something called 360 Lager, with a cute picture of a penguin and some mountains on the can... www.pwbrewing.com
- visit Fear the Penguin - midnightrealm.org 9000
I don't see this as an exploit of any kind, in the US it might have even bee possible to do this because.
1. M$ owns the rights to Windows x.x, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windoes 2000, Windows NT and they're all OSes.
2. If you want to produce a product with a similar name but not the same type of product there is no chance of confusing the consumer and there is no legal recourse that M$ can take if the name is different.
3. This type of think could have occurred in just about any country, not just Russia.
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
I can't believe nobody has yet commented on the dates for the feedback that follows the above-linked article.
All those 1/01/100s look so nice and nifty, don't they?
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
Windows99 beer! Where do you wanna puke today?
If they went with Windows 2000 their beer and cigarettes would seem newer with most Russians. But it'd probably be more expensive as well as they would have had the run of the Russian alcohol market :)
US businesses that currently accept chip and PIN/signature
Ok, so the Russians have nicked the name "Windows" for their beer... how about some subtle modifications to current beer slogans as a marketing ploy?
Windows 99.... refreshes the parts other beers don't reach (like the MSN homepage when you first install)
Windows 99.... Probably the best mugger in the world
Windows 99.... King of Fears
Windows 99.... It's Biller Time
Windows 99.... He who drinks Billy's thinks Willys
Windows 99.... Crash out with a fresh one
Windows 99.... End users wouldn't give a XXXX for anything else
Windows 99.... It doesn't get you drunk, leaves a foul taste in your mouth and costs too much but hey, your boss will like it!
I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief is a gentleman worthy implicit belief just because his attourney has sent me a brief, said I to myself said I - Gilbert and Sullivan
Philosopher (n) - a wise person who is calm and rational; someone who lives a life of reason with equanimity
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Red Hat beer -- they'll give you the recipe for free, they'll sell you the beer for very cheap, but if you need a ride home after the party, they'll charge upwards of $25/hr/person.
MOSCOW -- A previously obscure maker of vodka announced today that they would begin producing a new brand of vodka, named after the free operating system Linux.
"Like Linux, the 'source code,' or recipe, will be included on each bottle. We will also be selling -- at cost -- brew-at-home kits," a company spokesperson said.
When asked how they intended to make a profit from such a business plan, the spokesperson stated that they would "offer assistance with the brew-at-home kit, for a charge," and that "most people would rather buy a complete bottle anyway."
Linus Torvalds, owner of the Linux operating system trademark, was quoted as saying "It'd be nice to see Linux vodka beat out this other Windows product I've heard about."
However, not all in the free software community felt the same way. Richard Stallman stated that "this Linux vodka would have been nothing without my Emacs editor, used to create the recipe! And of course, all the other GNU tools used in its creation. I would like for it to be renamed as GNU/Linux vodka."
Company executives, however, seemed not to care much at all about Stallman's concerns.
When the "geek community" of Slashdot was asked, many comments seemed rather cryptic. Indeed, there were many posts reading only "F1r5t p0st!" or "Natalie Portman petrified and naked!"
Dear my! What are those things coming out of her nose?
Spaceballs!
Can you confirm this? More importantly, can you ship me a bottle or two? Oh, and if they EVER realease the windows gum; I'm all over that.
Think about it. The ability to grind windows between your teeth and chew angrily for hours and hours. Suffering is much more important than death, and quite frankly, chewing on windows cds doesn't taste as good as you might at first suspect.
Bad things often happen to good people,
It is up to them to see that they remain good.
Hmm... I wonder if I can get windows for my home office? Or maybe for my car? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Even better!
... well, you know.
Windows for Exterior Walls!
Aren't trademarks on common words not allowed? Seems like 'Windows' would have been defenestrated years ago. Maybe it wasn't because a computer window is not like a architectual window. But then again, windowing in GUI's has been around since...GUI's were invented (IIRC). Isn't that enough to get it tossed out the court
Unless you count a classic method of leaving a bar, it seems like the Russian trademark should hold more beer^H^H^H^Hwater.
Waiter! There's a bug in my Windows!
Or at least a picture of the bottles:
http://www.eseth.com/windowsbeer.jpg
~@~
Oh the hillarity. Of course if this was linux trademark infringement then everyone would be screaming bloody murder ;)
--
for the name of a new brand of cheap booze?
Windows 99 - it will make you boot. And boot. And boot. And boot....
*This Will Be Moderated Up ButI can see Bill Gates keeping his two bottles on his big executive desk for visitors. I can't imagine him getting rid of them or doing anything but laughing. His corporate marketing people would probably be pissed as heck, but he'll probably get a kick out of it.
- Michael T. Babcock (Yes, I blog)
I still think there should be surgeon general's warnings on microsoft products
Surgeon Generals Warning:
Installation of this product may result in your computers unwilligness to function.
Other Irreversible side effects: Internet Explorer
Please keep in mind, if you install windows 99:
Driving under Windows 99 is an illegal operation, law enforcement WILL take an exception, and you will crash due to driver errors. This time, the BSOD is forever!
I'll bet Microsoft executives are hopping mad!
This oughta set a record for beta-test volunteer sign-ups!
BSOD => BrewSki Of Death
Suggested motto: "When every day is just another excuse to crash!"
Suggested motto: "Had it with computer viruses? Behold the joy of yeast!"
Suggested motto: "Windows 99: start me up, and you'll definitely never stop!"
Suggested motto: "Our beer will make a grown woman cry, too!"
Suggested motto: "What, do you want to `go', today?"
(BTW, "hopping"...hops...get it?)
Now I'm looking forward to the press release from Microsoft claiming that the mere existence of "Windows 99" beer shows that it's not a monopoly....
Practice random senselessness and act kind of beautiful.
Windows 99 beer and cigarretes are of course very popular substances for a legal high that kills you very, very slowly and increasingly painfully over time.
However, most college students have turned to "experimenting" with various strange substances. For example, snorting of Linux laundry detergent has become unusually popular in the last year, and reported overdoses have increased by more than 10000%. The popular detergent is imported from northeastern europe.
We went to visit Steve Jobs, permanent interrim CEO of Apple Computer, to ask him his opinion on these trends. He was smoking something wrapped up in a small piece of paper-- we didn't catch what. His only response was to giggle strangely, then mumble something about "hey man, at least my liver's going to be ok" and cough loudly. he then picked up a phone, called Avie Tevanian, and ordered the entire Apple campus at 1 infinite loop (including the grass) to be painted a bright pastel blue by tomorrow. He seemed very.. relaxed throughout the entire interview.
Meanwhile a certain professor at Berkeley University has been encouraging everyone to "Turn on, tune in, drop out" by using a substance called BSD.
Trip on.
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
Who's to say that Microsoft just won't take this opportunity to buy out this company and go into the tobacco/alcohol business? I think it would be really easy to subvert drunks into buying MS products.