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MI5 Laptop Stolen -- Along With Top-Secret Data
Tuscahoma writes "ZDNet has this story about an MI5 agent who lost a laptop containing sensitive information at Paddinton station. Does this sound like the plot of a bad spy movie (turns out that Julia Roberts picked up the laptop to return it, and now she's on the run for her life from enemy spies)?" This really does sound like a screenwriter's dream. I wonder if the machine's already been fenced, the hard drive wiped, and some Londoner is wondering at the "Property of M15. PLEASE return" in the BIOS.
It seems fairly suspiscious that MI5 would even report this sort of thing. Would the CIA report that they had a laptop stolen?
More likely, some information on Northern Ireland leaked out through some sordid sex scandal and to cover their asses (pardon the pun) they come out with this story of a notebook being stolen at a train station "that may contain information on Northern Ireland".
Now in the next few days there'll be some other story about some kind plans MI5 had in Northern Ireland and then they can blame the notebook, not the sex scandal.
And now for something completely diffrent, a man with three buttox
If he did use strong crypto, why should MI5 care, right?
Here's my summary:
Globe And Mail, reported 1999-11-12 that three car prowling drug addicts smashed a car window and grabbed a briefcase containing a secret document in an apparently random car break-in. The car, belonging to an Canadian Security Intelligence Service (Canada's spy agency, in charge of counter-espionage and counter-terrorist intelligence) officer, was parked while she attended a Maple Leafs hockey game in Toronto, several weeks ago in October. The contents included a copy of a highly classified document, the annual operational planning document, which outlines planned intelligence operations for the next year. It sets out the annual goals and initiatives of the agency. Toronto police managed to apprehend the thieves, a few days after their break-in the briefcase could not be found. The thieves claimed to have dumped it into a dumpster which was emptied before investigators could search it. This prompted three investigations: an internal investigation, a review by the Security Intelligence Review Committee, and a third probe by Maurice Archdeacon.
10/20 Carolina vs. Toronto 3-3
10/23 Montreal vs. Toronto 2-3
10/25 Dallas vs. Toronto 0-4
10/27 Atlanta vs. Toronto 0-4
10/30 Calgary vs. Toronto 1-2
-- Ender, Duke_of_URL
So that means I have to kidnap that guy before I start a nuclear war, And I'm guaranteed to win? Cool.
I wonder if that guy realizes he's the most important man in the world. If something happens to him, we're fscked
That briefcase contains the U.S. nuclear launch codes, it is with the president at all times. The only time a president hasn't had the briefcase with him is when Nixon resigned. Although he was still president for several hours, he didn't have the briefcase with him on the flight to CA, because it had to be in Washington when the new president was sworn into office.
I'd heard that it's not just the codes, but rather is capable of actually launching missles, in case the places that were supposd to do it have already gotten vaporized.
Pretty please?
Where'd you read it?
Perchance online, and have an archived copy somewhere?
-- Ender, Duke_of_URL
You have no idea about the history of England OR Europe, except for what you learnt when you were 8 about 1066 and the Romans. I'd be surprised if you even knew where the Romans were from (okay - what COUNTRY it is in? :)
Petty Civil war? Dare I mention the US civil war? I also shouldn't mention Korea or Vietnam, or the Gulf for that matter. Yes, I know Britain was involved in that one too...
Regarding the "bailing" out of England in the wars: it is true that the country (and the rest of Europa in fact) was on its last legs when the Americans FINALLY decided to join. However, why is it that they didn't join earlier? Shouldn't you be embaressed that your country DIDN'T get involved until so late in the game - especially in WW1. You have no idea even WHY your country joined both wars. Tell me - I'd like to hear more bullshit. You make me laugh. You're funny.
Inept attempt at gaining an empire? What language do you speak? Serious question that. And what language is the most WIDELY spoken language in the world. Don't say Chinese, I said WIDELY spoken. What is the international business language? ENGLISH! Okay, so you spell a little strangely, but hey. :)
It is true that England no longer has an empire, unless you could a few pathetic little places we have just in case more oil pops up somewhere. ;)
And before I get slammed, I feel I should mention that I'm English and I live in the US - in Seattle to be exact. My views aren't based on any cultural bias (like yours), and all of my US friends would be embarressed by your comments.
One last point: What the hell do YOU know about Shakespeare? I admin that I know very little, but your comments about him are totally inane! I heard that his stuff is quite good. I guess everyone else was wrong - and you were right.
I'll say it again - you sir, are an idiot.
Ignorant americans. It's MI5. NOT M15. The world is going down, and I'm going to hold the U.S.A responsible.
He'll get 50 lashings with a wet noodle!!
LOL!
Did you know that "Anonymous Coward" is a good way to make a sockpuppet in a /. flamewar?
I know with NATO at least, you're not allowed to take anything above unclassifed off base. And you are not even allowed to look at anything above Restriced on most PCs on base...
There are "underagents" in schools.
It was posted in RISKS
btw: they recovered that computer.
-- Ender, Duke_of_URL
And good music like... Robbie Williams?
MI5 (aka the security service) is tasked with counterespionage, counterterrorism and more recently aspects of anti-drug and organised crime work within the UK MI6 (aka the secret service) deals with espionage (not that we nice brits do that kind of thing) and foreign intelligence. In theory MI5 is restricted to the UK and MI6 is limited to foreign shores, the overlap comes from Northern Ireland which for various political reasons falls between both stools. more details at http://www.five.org.uk/security/security.htm
It's either "The Peacekeeper" or "The Peacekeepers". It also stars Montel Williams.
James Bond would be MI6 not MI5 so the plot would probably revolve around him stealing the laptop in order to uncover MI5s latest plot to sabotage an MI6 operation (or overthrow the government, might be better for a film but I gather MI5s priorities are roughly (1) extend their own powerbase, (2) investigate their own agents, (3) undermine MI6, (4) persecute innocent members of the public, and only (5) undermine the elected government. As (1) takes a lot of resources they only get to take the occassional direct shot at the government every few years).
I got the impression that MI6 has similar roles as the CIA, and that MI5 would equate roughly to the FBI.
Not entirely sure though..
It's amazing to me that even though Slashdot seems like a forum for intelligent people, about intelligent things, we still get complete idiots saying:
"fuck you - you suck"
"US is better than UK - you're lame"
It's amazing to me how many stupid people there are in this world.
Did you know that HALF the people in the world have an IQ lower than 100?!?! It's true! ;)
At least we don't shoot our own troops by mistake - friendly fire? Good grief. Oh and by the way the last I heard we will still paying you f'kers for keeping nice Mr. Hitler from killing all those people. Twat.
Pretty please?
-- Ender, Duke_of_URL
Apparently the MI5 are publisicising it in the hope they'll get the laptop back
:)
Nobody in their right mind would return it, if they haven't got a market for it, they'd destroy it, not do anything to help MI5 identify them.
MI5 are almost as scary as HM Customs and Excise
You have no idea even WHY your country joined both wars. Tell me - I'd like to hear more bullshit.
WWI
Despite an overwhelmingly isolationist congress, the sinking of the Lusithania provoked the hawkish flames. The Zimmerman Note incident provided the last push that allowed McKinley to put our boys on European shores.
WWII
Obviously, the bombing of Pearl Harbor
One last point: What the hell do YOU know about Shakespeare? I admin that I know very little, but your comments about him are totally inane! I heard that his stuff is quite good. I guess everyone else was wrong - and you were right.
I think the poster was talking about the eurocentric mindset that elevated Shakespeare and other western works to the exclusion of the rest of the world. Great works were being put out by Arabic, chinese writers that I'm sure YOU are not even remotely familiar with.
I'll say it again - you sir, are an idiot
I don't think I need to say anything about this comment.
next james bond movie?
i wonder what type of security they use for international spies. is the entire drive encrypted? it probably should be...
Get back into your ghettocruiser Jack Rabbit.
since when is "government intelligence an expression or idea?
would it make you feel better if I fucked some white pussy
well is that secret really top secret?? now think about it.. if the spy uses windows on it, he wouldnt have put top secret info in THAT laptop for obvious reasons.
It's a damn good thing you didn't log on.
hmm, why would we be paying anyone ? Western Europe has it's self sustaining economy, the war loans were paid back during the 50/60's.
I think you might be getting mixed up with Eastern Europe, Kosovo, the balkans etc.
I'm sure you can buy plenty with all of the money you make from selling your crack.
You're a bunch of illiterate idiots. It's MI5, not M15. As in Military Intelligence.
*shrug*
This is just a nitpicking conversation, but here goes anyway =P.
"government intelligence" is an oxymoron...
The idea that:
"'Government Intelligence' is a contradiction in terms'"
is a cliché.
Enrico
Ya, but NATO is a group of military organizations. Of course everything they're gonna have is classified. That might not necessarily be true for other groups that are their own entity.
i have nothing against britons i meet, 'cept they all seem to look down on me FOR SOMETHING I CANNOT CONTROL. and DAMMIT does it ever irritate me, 'cause i NEVER did anything to them.
:-) Perhaps it has something to do with UK (amongst others) having created the US, and knowing that without it now... Some Britons look down their noses at Americans: those that are 'just ex-colonists'. Some Americans look down their noses at Britons: 'sad little people, tried to control us, we showed them, we rule the world now...' etc etc
Not meant as flamebait, but I get exactly the same from Americans...as long as I am not in the States. Even when in Canada, it seemed that most Americans looked down on me, and I'm not that small..
it's a hateful world and it's silly. cut your shit out, yeah? "fight fire with fire" doesn't fucking work.
Amen to that.
Mash
mashatsomethingorotherdotcom
The film you are talking about is called The Peacekeeper, starring Dolph Lundgren. Astro
Okay, some definitions:
1. Naval Intelligence.......Nearly Oxymoronic
2. Air Force Intelligence.......the same a 1 without the "nearly"
3. Army Intelligence..... the same as 2 without the "oxy-"
4. Marine Corps Intelligence.....nah, that'd be too easy...
--From the novel "North Sar" by Gerry Carroll
Ignoring the fact that this might be flamebait, I'm almost certain that a laptop could never get C2 level clearance. You have to realize that C2 includes the hardware. PCMCIA slots, IRDA devices and all of the other 'standard' laptop hardware (including the built-in modem) would automatically cancel out the C2 attempt.
Worked at the pentagon briefely. RE:Ram, they wouldnt let anything that had had classified stuff on it out the door, at least the trashed junk.once it had classified material on it, it became classified and stayed that way) so we had a sack of old usless 386/486 laptops that we oculdnt do anything with. ANYTHING that had memory on it had to be destroyed/mangled/microwaved before it could be thrown away, printers even. Microwaving cdroms is FUN.
shut up and go play basketball or something you piece of shit.
WWII Obviously, the bombing of Pearl Harbor Actually I believe it was the fact that the Axis was trying to get a foot hold in Mexico, before that the Americans weren't sure which side they wanted to fight for. They had a lot in common both ideologically and politically with both the Brits (you know, their entire culture at the time) and the Nazi's (genocide, hyper-advanced tech, world domination by the elite over the "mongrels", etc).
It probably was the Windows NT version with C2 secure certification. That's one area where Windows is way ahead in respect to other PC operating systems.
I've got my finger on THE BUTTON... do you?
(this was a thing on simpsons, a while back. no?)
is that what you dream when you cry yourself to sleep? silly little white boy. all white girls like nigga dick. believe me.
Yes, i was the "secret" agent who lost his laptop in the train station. It wasn't the loss of confidential data essential to national security that bothered me so much as the hot gay porn i had as my windows background.
MI5 is one the highest level of intelligence that Britain admits to. That laptop would have been handcuffed to him under normal circumstances. Has anyone else considered the possibility that this entire event was a hand-off?
n/t
That's some funny stuff man. Moderate this biatch up!
/me smacks his hand to his forehead.
F orrrgettiiiinnnnggggg....wooooooooo..... .
D'oh! You are now getting very sleepy and forgetting that you could see my username....Forgeeeetting....Sleeeeeeeppyyyyy....
m15 is a Messier object, jesus.
--ac
Monthy Python sucks ass! I was waiting for one of you idiots to mention them.
>I'm assuming that he will be quietly discharged,
>and a few months down the road he'll disappear.
>(That usually happens to clumsy government
>agents. heh.)
Tee hee...
New No.2: "Good day, Number Six."
No.6: "Number what?"
New No.2: "Six. For official purposes. Everyone has a number. Yours is number 6."
There was a recent NATO scandal where 600 people had inappropriate access to sensitive information including the plans for the Kosovo bombing campaigns contained on a sensitive network.
After a couple of weeks they found out information was being past the Yugoslav military, they started to restricted the access to the appropriate 100 people thereafter.
But for the first 2 weeks of the bombing campaign all the information was leaked, therefore I don't think it's a good idea to draw comparisons between MI5 and NATO, they've both suffered their competencies.
beep!
i'm too busy fucking white pussy. doesn't that make you mad
Let me see a show of hands: who knows what CIAO is? Every self respecting paranoid person should.
--ac
I am the guy who stoled the laptop. There was nothing but porn on it.
More like a "stupidity" officer.
Please mod this fucker down. What a waste of bandwidth.
the word you were looking for is oxymoron. i don't know why you couldn't remember the word, you are after all a moron
agreed. Free H. Rap Brown, ya silly little white boys
Ciao == hello or goodbye in Italian.
The Full Monty sucks python ass.
You're using a grand turn of events rather interestingly; to start with, Rome conquered the whole of Europe, what's the point about Britain? As for repacusions after 1066, Britain conquered Brittany the whole northern coast of France.
50 year lead? Actually mainland Europe spend many centuries squabbling between themselves regarding land boundaries etc, as for colonies, Britain held some of the first colonies in India over 500 years ago, it wasn't exactly some last ditch effort in the 18 hundreds. I don't think any other country even came to near to holding direct rule over 1/3 of the world like Britain did.
As for the wars, again the whole of mainland Europe and some parts of Prussia were occupied, however Britain wasn't, so what's the point there?
It's good to see the information on the laptop was encrypted, since public key crypto was invented at GCHQ in Britain anyway.
It is old. I sent this in yesterday, but it was declined.
I want it!!!! it's probably a good one. Is it for sale on eBAY yet?
UK - US
===========
MI6 = CIA
GCHQ = NSA
MI5 = internal intelligence, doesn't uphold federal/civil/common/criminal law like the FBI.
CID = FBI
Actually, the story broke on the 24th March, they should of made reference to the BBC News story, it goes into much more detail than a second hand and stale ZDNet report.
Original BBC Report
In the US it's called LoJack... No idea how big the device is... With a car you have a lot of space to hide a transmitter. A laptop would give you a lot less space to hide something. Also - a good system would have to be remote activated. You wouldn't want it transmitting all the time - sucking your batteries down. This would have to be part of the laptop design as opposed to an add-on. Maybe the same wireless lan technology used in the Apple iBook laptops (Airport?) could double as a retrieval system...
You've been taking lessons from RobLimo, haven't you? You're better of ignoring the old fag. We all hate him, and by extension, you.
Pleas look forward to having your limbs shattered and being shat on in public.
Thank you.
Dude, YOU are a fucking crack baby of a sort. Shut the heck up, whitetrashboy. Black power!
'tis the stolen computer's IP :-P~~~~
If Slashdot had an AUP, then the owners of Slashdot could file a complaint with the National Futures Association or the Commodity Futures Trading Commission. But Slashdot doesn't have an AUP with any teeth in it.
In the meantime, well, it's just offtopic, inappropriate, and offensive speech. The sanction for that is that the post might be moderated.
I think a technical solution (a filter) doesn't really solve the problem -- it's a social, community problem. But it doesn't hurt anything either, and it solves your particular personal problem of getting exposed to some speech that you find offensive.
fuck off, white trash
Well, of course. Every time I see one of those guys in a trenchcoat, with a briefcase handcuffed to him, talking into his lapel, I always get suspicious.
If I see one more of these, your asshole will EXPLODE with a firecracker.
Mother
Fucker
In the UK (I don't know about other countries) we have a system called tracker which can be fitted to cars so that the police can track and recover them when they've been stolen. Apparently they're small enough not to be found by the thiefs, even when they make an effort to find them.
Why not fit these to all of MI5's laptops ?
Hey, I've got an idea. When the delivery boy comes to the door I'll get out my wallet and pay him. When he takes the money and has the pizza between his legs, you can run up behind him and swipe it.
Enrico
Swoosh...zzzzzzzzzzz...kerplunk......
I wonder what is going to happen to the agent. I love to hear the agent defend his actions
As an American, it is not our right and certainly not our responsibilty to play world police. That is why we should have never involved ourselves in any of the above listed conflicts.
Well, if we're going to mention things that somebody's got to say...
I wonder if I can install Linux on this stolen laptop.
And wouldn't it be cool to have a Beowulf cluster of stolen laptops?
Holding contempt for an entire country because some barely-literate Slashdot story poster decides it's "M15" is hardly commendable either, you know.
Twat.
Every time you see a site tricking ppl into signing up for spam, sign this guy up.
Someone should DOS his little website too.
Knowing our president, the briefcase is probably full of porn. Or lewd pictures of foreign heads of state.
M15?!? 1? as in the digit one? typical american.
Well, it's probably pretty hard to avoid not causing some press. I guess the MI5 guy couldn't really be identified for what he was, but after some guy and a few security gaurds go chasing someone through a train station, it's hard not to get some public attention. They were probably asked about the incident by the press. You would think that they would have someone near the exits who could have stopped him. What about all the people in the station, what the hell were they doing? I know if I saw some guy get his laptop stolen, I'd at least make an effort at stopping the theif.
Well, laptops are expensive, with or without bundled software, so I would think that they'd wipe the hard drive and sell it to a pawn shop. Why would someone care about your password-protected porn collection and letters to your mistress?
Several times computers that had the distributed.net client running on them were stolen, and the next time the theives hooked up the computer to an internet connexion, the computers sent their usual packets to distributed.net, along with their new IP addresses! The owners had the presence of mind to contact distributed.net, and were able to track down their computers and get them back. The theives never knew about the client as it was running in the background/running as a service on NT...
That's why they usually post such unimportant stories here -- so nobody remembers having seen them before.
why the hell is this flamebait? stupid moderators
Moderate this down to (Score:-1,Troll)
Trollz rool.
why is this score 2? it's not interesting or helpful or anything
Moderate this down to (Score:-1,Troll)
Trollz rool.
what's so big about karma? mine's like -40. BTW, you didn't post AC
Moderate this down to (Score:-1,Troll)
Trollz rool.
i'm hungry. feed me.
Moderate this down to (Score:-1,Troll)
Trollz rool.
To tell you the truth, I'm more pissed at you for being so insensitive to other people. At least this person may give a damn about other people's religion.
Moderate this down to (Score:-1,Troll)
Trollz rool.
This is not funny. How about (-1, lame)
Moderate this down to (Score:-1,Troll)
Trollz rool.
Dude you suck. You didn't even get close to the first post. Are you a crack baby of some sort?
Would anyone like to order a pizza? I'm pretty hungry right now. How does a large pepperoni sound?
neo-opf
I think we're all pretty fed up with your bullshit. Now, generally I don't resort to violence, but in your case, I'm willing to make an exception if you don't drag your lame-ass smapping ass out of here. For fucking Allah's sake, don't you have anything better to do than resort to dishonest scams?
I'll put you in jail, mother fucker.
Bowie J. Poag
Bowie J. Poag
Project Founder, PROPAGANDA For Linux (
Alleged:
The general battle plan for the gulf war was stored on a laptop computer that was stolen from an unattended car just before the air war started. See Colin Powell's _My American Journey_
-- Ender, Duke_of_URL
I posted it three days ago because I knew I was going to do it tomorrow.
a similar incident happened in New Zealand during the Muldoon years, though more ludicrous.
A journalist who had pissed off Muldoon (our prime minister) was under survaliance by the SIS (think CIA/Keystone cops). The journo noticed the agent sitting on a park bench opposite his house, and when the agent left, he left his briefcase on the bench.
Naturally the journo looked at the contents of the brief case and wrote an articlce on the contents of SIS agents briefcases. The contents are:
1. Pencil (chewed)
2. Notebook containing record of journo's movements
3. A Pork pie
4. A copy of playboy (well thumbed).
The SIS *never* lived that one down. To this day there are jokes about the contents of SIS briefcases.
Okay, I need some help here folks. I got the laptop, and I have one of the files decrypted. But I'm little bit confused about what it all means. Here's a what I got so far.
#ifndef __css_descramble_h_
#define __css_descramble_h_
struct playkey {
int offset;
unsigned char key[5];
};
extern int css_decrypttitlekey(unsigned char *tkey, unsigned char *dkey, struct playkey **pkey);
extern void css_descramble(unsigned char *sec,unsigned char *key);
What is this?:-)
But only if they're British.
It never ceases to amaze me how incompetent the British have been, individually and as a nation, over the course of history. The first bit of recorded history we have of the British is them getting conquered by the Romans. The Romans were far more advanced than the British, yet somehow the British managed not to learn anything from their experience and slip back into the Dark Ages once the Romans left. They then got conquered by the French in 1066, and the conquerors evidently were none too bright either, because they let themselves assimilate.
Britain then spent most of its time involved in some minor intrigue or petty civil war or something of the like, until, blindly following the rest of Europe who had about a fifty year lead, it decided to make a totally inept attempt at gaining an empire. This was successful for a while, but what do they have now? That's right. Nothing. They lost it all. And this is not even mentioning the fact that they had to get bailed out of two world wars by an ex-colony. Or that while Shakespeare may have produced fine literature by British standards, he's not really anything special in the grand scheme of things. Or that certain members of this sorry culture who felt the need to create a series of movies (the Bond films) for the sole purpose of holding on to their last shreds of cultural self-esteem.
So, in short, yes, I wouldn't trust a British spy, or anyone from that sad little island, with ANYTHING without handcuffing it to the poor brute so that he wouldn't lose it.
...it was smeared with orange marmalade.
Only the decoys. Why?
(currently testing something about signatures here)
If you read the story in the Uk press you'll find that it was encrypted using the top-secret stuff that these guys use.
It's Elwood Blues who has the thing handcuffed to him. But it's not a laptop, it's his Briefcase Full Of Blues.
Hope this helps.
I travel constantly with my laptop, and I've been using Scramdisk to keep all of my sensitive data encrypted.
Heh, look at his tag line. You just replied to someone who is running JFK's campaign for President, this year. You might want to wander around propaganda for a while, come back, and then see if his post makes more sense :-)
As in, he was (hopefully!) just kidding...
This reminds me of the time King Klinton lost the Football that has all the launch codes at the NATO 50th meeting.
Free Unix? Free Windows. http://www.reactos.com
This isn't the first time this has happened. During the Gulf war, something very similar occured.
Even more serious, several months ago Bono lost his laptop that had the lyrics for U2's next album. Fortunately, he got it back and all was well.
Look at it this way: they're not called 'portable' for nothing. It'll happen.
That's like asking why Microsoft has the Windows source code.
The real question is why the data wasn't removed, or why the agent was allowed to carry his/her laptop out of headquarters. Or here's another one:
Why didn't the laptop have an autodestruct?
There's no point in owning a laptop if you can't put work stuff on it!
Darn, don't real spies ever watch the movies? Everyone knows you carry your (documents/laptop/bomb) in one of those cool aluminum cases with the custom cut foam and you ALWAYS handcuff it to yourself. Stupid spies. :-)
Skippy
"False modesty is the refuge of the incompetent." - The Stainless Steel Rat
hmmm, seems that we all now insite one of those strange loops RAWilson is always talking about....
nmarshall
#include "standard_disclaimer.h"
R.U. SIRIUS: THE ONLY POSSIBLE RESPONSE
nmarshall
The law is that which it boldly asserted and plausibly maintained..
--Colonel Burr 1783
They are also the ones (indirectly) responsible for the term 'spam' beimg applied to junk email.
The next Distributed.net project is to crack the encryption on the files in the laptop. sponsoerd by the IRA of course.
Cliché: Trite of overused expression or idea.
The cliché he used may have been referring to an oxymoron, but that doesn't make it wrong to call it a cliché.
I read about this story a couple of days back, and was informed that the spy had the laptop stolen whilst queing for a ticket... he went to move and noticed that the laptop was no longer between his feet. :) only to get a bit worried...
He then looked around the station a bit desperatly (as one would
As for seeing people running through stations... I know that I wouldn't stop them and ask them what they were doing - more often than not, it's someone running for a train just about to leave.
As it is, I have had a laptop nicked on the train... ok, not exactly nicked, but I left my laptop on an underground train, noticed that I no longer had it about two seconds after the train had left, and therefore started shouting obscenities.
I had the train searched two stations later only to find out that some bastard had nicked it.
There's also the chance that the password is 'secret' or 'magic' though.
I can just see it now:
Scene: office.
RING RING.
"MI5, M's office."
"Moneypenny? This is James. I seem to have lost something."
"James, *really*!"
"Could you take a quick dash into M's office and see if there's a laptop somewhere?"
"Only if you get it from me when you take me to dinner."
"Yes, well.. that's all well and good now - but if it's not there, we might just have a tad of a problem. You see, it does hold a few fairly important documents, and I am sort of responsible for it, you know."
"Is that a yes?"
"I might have to dash off and save the world because of this. That would take prescidence, you know."
"I don't hear a yes in that sentence."
"It's a terribly nice world. I have saved it a few times before. Would be a terrible shame to see it destroyed now, you know."
"James."
"Nice lakes. Beautiful trees."
"JAMES."
"Appealing overpasses?"
"Yes or no."
Sigh. "Yes. Now would you please go look?"
Whatever you do... don't read this.
Retrieving IP address....now.
"Don't mind me cutting myself on Occam's Razor"
"Good, Cheap, Fast, choose two..."
Around here in SF, the cabs are
Fast, Curtious, Cheap, Safe, choose two...
VANBO
Wasn't some spammer skewered by a certain slashdotter for posting some BS about "being one with the markets"? It's likely that he needed a way to get his get-rich-quick secrets onto slashdot, while still appearing to hate spam.
My point is, don't automatically jump to conclusions on this guy. Maybe he is a dunderhead, but a traitor? That's not quite our place to say.
Of course, we expect CSIS to make stupid mistakes. After all, they aren't a real intelligence agency anyways. All they ever do is whine "oh no, not more immigrants! Immigrants are bad! They're all terrorists!". The CSE (Communciations Security Establishment -- Canada's equivalent of the NSA) is more a spy agency than CSIS.
But MI5 is supposed to be full of a bunch of James Bond-like smart and handsome people, right?
Why was the M15 agent carrying sensitive material on a laptop? Even if it was encrypted, that doesn't sound like the most brilliant of ideas.
It was really just an MIS drone who lost a laptop. The 'top secret' info was the 2 gigs of g04t-pr0nZ he'd been downloading on his company's T3.
-- "Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything." -Joseph Stalin
....and behind the name of the programming language 'python' mighty kick ass language too.....
The spokeswoman said the computer's data was encrypted and confirmed that any information held on it would be very difficult to retrieve. She would not disclose what type of encryption was in place or how strong it is.
:)
Every byte was xored with 'A'.
It's called "The Peacekeeper." More information is available here at the Internet Movie Database.
--
DeCSS source code!
--
you must amputate to email me
i read all replies to my comments
i got it from someone else, though i don't remember their username. be jealous of someone else, not me :)
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DeCSS source code!
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you must amputate to email me
i read all replies to my comments
As the taxi was taking them home it just happened to be approaching the house of a suspected spy. So the top secret agent had the taxi pull up, the passengers spilled out onto the pavement of a quite well to do residential area, then proceeded to scream obscenities through the suspects letter box. Including the immortal line, 'Come on out you commie b*****d, I want to give you a good thrashing'.
Loosing a laptop seems a rather minor misdemeanour after that don't you think?
threadeds blog
Watch out for the MIBs!
threadeds blog
Certainly. A quick google search finds us these two existing references.
This from canadanews.about.com
and
another from www.indiatribune.com
who taught him that slick trick?
believing the big bang requires a certain amount of supernatural faith
if you had a laptop with extremely sensitive information, wouldnt you make sure it never left your sight? how does one lose a laptop like this?
also, i wonder if there is going to be a reward or something for it...
This dude knew exactly what Windoze is good for. My commendations for a shrewd hire, MI5! I almost feel bad about embarasing him.
Leave 1 million pounds sterling (in silver!) in the LSU quad fountian at 2AM, April 1st or I will disable this critical piece of software and erase it's entire history. No tricks!
I know this is just a pipedream, but it would be nice if whomever stole the laptop put the encrypted data on the net. Then we all could try cracking it, a la the RC5 project (I'm probably getting the name wrong. Correct me if I am.) It would be interesting to peer behind the curtains at the machinations of the British government.
Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
I sent it in two days ago...
I know its an old cliche:
" 'Government Intelligence' is a contradiction in terms. "
Terribly offtopic (thus I post as AC to protect my karma).
.sig. I knew I had heard that somewhere! (From Sneakers. I guess you'd have to see the movie to get it. Strange movie. Not like what I envision Hackers to be. Who was that lady? She was the perfect social engineer ;))
I just "got" your
Welcome to Slashdot. Please do not feed the trolls.
Withdrawal before climax is very ineffective and those who try this are usually called "parents."
We are Bringing them their Menus in Bavaria! In Bavaria, Where The Mountains Stick Out of the Ground!
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Don't underestimate the power of peanut brittle
ADVENTURERS! - ANTIHERO FOR HIRE - CARDMASTER CONFLICT
Oh, and the /. "Funny" icon is the Monty Python foot.
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Don't underestimate the power of peanut brittle
ADVENTURERS! - ANTIHERO FOR HIRE - CARDMASTER CONFLICT
I can't beleive anyone at all would ever say "Monty Python Sucks Ass" - those four words just dont fit together.
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Don't underestimate the power of peanut brittle
ADVENTURERS! - ANTIHERO FOR HIRE - CARDMASTER CONFLICT
Monty Python is a comedy troupe which was behind classics such as Monty Python and the Holy Grail. They also had a late sixties-early seveties tv show called Monty Python's Flying Circus. They are outragously funny but in an absurd way. There are transcripts of all the flying circus skits, and some of the movies at Stone Dead Productions They also have a lot of great information and facts about Monty Python. Monty Python is not to be confused with The Full Monty which is an entirely different thing aside from the fact they're both English and both have "Monty" in the title.
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Don't underestimate the power of peanut brittle
ADVENTURERS! - ANTIHERO FOR HIRE - CARDMASTER CONFLICT
Because perhaps it would make them a higher profile person, and they more than likely don't need or want that.
An example would be "enemy" agents would just need to watch for people with briefcases chained to their hands, and they would then know that person is in posession on sensitive information, or at least something quite valuable.
Something you might find interesting. At my place of employment, we do some government contracts, and do have what we deem "secure labs" where Classified and even at times Top Secret data is stored. They have procedures for all electronic equipment (such as physically crushing tapes and hard drives for disposal), however a co-worker of my noted "You know what, I bet they don't zero out the RAM when it goes out of the lab.". Ingenius observation!
Don't you think that most government agents are pretty conspicuous anyways?
-- Dr. Eldarion --
Yes, but he travels around with the president. That guarantees him to be guarded like a mofo...
-- Dr. Eldarion --
If I remember correctly, the briefcase contains the codes that are required for the launching of nuclear weapons. If a situation were to come up where nuclear weapons would have to be launched, the briefcase would be opened and the codes given to the launch sites.
-- Dr. Eldarion --
I know that the US president has a guy follow him around with a briefcase handcuffed to himself. Supposedly this has to do with our nuclear weapons, but I don't think there has ever been an official statement about what's inside.
I once saw a movie like this too. I think it starred Dolf Lungren(i butchered the spelling there), the Russian from Rocky IV. Anyway he lost the briefcase, and had to save the world and chase down some terrorists in some midwestern missle silo. Wish I could remember the name of the movie.
Wigs
--"Only after you've lost everything are you free to do anything"
At this rate, the thief will be posting next: "I posted it three days ago because I knew I was going to do it tomorrow." Tomorrow never dies. James Bond will definitely be on the case.
Will I retire or break 10K?
No encryption is safe from a chop shop. They can just break the laptop open and sell the parts.
Will I retire or break 10K?
(Score:-1, Spam)
Will I retire or break 10K?
Slashdot goes tabloid?
The article says that the laptop contained "sensitive" data, but it makes no mention of the classification involved. Encryption does not imply a security classification; you'd expect (and hope) that agencies like MI5 encrypt all classified information (particularly if it's left around where any Artful Dodger can pinch it.)
Just the facts, Ma'am.
don't you think that a laptop handcuffed to someone walking around would be a bit conspicuous?
...who like to make statements about things they know jack about. Actually, I think its an Imperial attempt at aligning with Mr.Gates to over through the US government and by extension the DOJ. I guess the settlements not going that well, poor Bill. Maybe he is making a deal with the C1A as well, eh!
...Free information for the taking. Damn what smart marketing people they have. I wonder if I can get the dope on the Queen's knickers? Ummmm, Elizabeth in a thong ;-)
Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond, I expect to break the encryption on this laptop one of your fellow agents left lying around.
-----------------------------
Do not provoke me to violence, for you could no more evade my wrath than you could your own shadow.
The "places that [are] supposed to do it" are all relatively safe from attack - they're underground or underwater. I doubt that it's possible to launch missiles by itself, because that would make it very dangerous if stolen. I'm willing to bet that if the codes have been compromised, there's a system to make them invalid..
Any truth to the rumor it was actually former CIA Director John Deutch working for MI5 as a consultant who lost the laptop?
_____________
Godwin is a Nazi.
My favorite part of the article was that quote.
carlos
--
As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.
Somebody's got to say it...
Have they looked on eBay yet for it?
"the information was encrypted..."
Right, it was stored on the hard drive as a series of magnetic patterns representing
0's and 1's. They'll NEVER figure that out...
I heard this on the radio this morning in the UK... Apparently the MI5 are publisicising it in the hope they'll get the laptop back - they rekon their encryption is safe, and they have the resources to get the laptop back a hell of a lot quicker than your average commuter... It's must've been on at least one CCTV cam...
;)
Whoever stole that laptop - big brother is watching you....
--
Maybe by releasing that it the information is regarding the state of terrorist activities in Northern Ireland, many people will brush it off as less important because it doesn't really affect them. This is opposed to letting people speculate what information it could contain if they didn't release anything. Things like that lead to harmful rumors.
Wonder if they have a porn directory with naked pictures of Pierce Brosnan and an mp3 directory consisting of The Matrix soundtrack?
Probably not...
similar thing happened in Toronto a while ago. A CSIS agent (one of the Canadian spy organizations) left a briefcase in his car while attending a Maple Leafs game. The briefcase had a bunch of sensitive documents and was stolen when his car was broken into. ----- "her". not "his". (clarification lamb!)
If you're a zombie and you know it, bite your friend!
If they didn't before, they will now.
I'm not sure this story is true, probably just an urban myth; I know because the story should have started an EX MI5 agent.Also I know with all the stuff about security drilled into their heads, they MUST be very security consious. I worked for US Military Intelligence (I know it's an oxymoron)and they were security nuts. Just your average GI (without any clearance) is required to lock their car doors or they can be charged for a security violation. I think they ought to check real close on this one.
"Open code, in other words, can be a check on state power." -Lawrence Lessig
No, that's MI6. MI5 is, rather appropriately, a counter-intelligence agency.
Many thanks for the link. I'm self-respecting enough, but must be inadequately paranoid, because I never knew there was such a thing. Has there ever been a /. story about this office? Seems like something of much interest to the community. It appears, from the little I skimmed of the directors testimony and press releases, that these guys are the ones in charge of scaring our rulers...errr...congresspeople out of their tiny wits about cybersecurity and crime.
e xchanges-to-catch-terrorists policy that the government actually favors. The cognitive dissonance must be thick as hell around there....
.sig is irrelevant"
They also have the unenviable task of promoting the govs proclaimed policy of favoring greater privacy and security on the net and executing the anti-encryption-we-must-have-access-to-all-cyber-
Brad Gregory
"Any concept reducible to a
"To be fair, I was left completely unsupervised." ~Anon
It is quite possible that the laptop was purposefully lost, and contains disinformation.
The press, then, would be an unwitting agent of the MI5 in validating the authenticity of would actually be a false intel sitrep fed to the enemies of the intelligence agency.
--
Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
You should always ask yourself why something is news. 99%+ of fraud and security breaches are leaked by competitors.
MSN 8: Now Microsoft even has bugs in their ad campaigns.
Why did they admit it?
MI5 has a long history of keeping things like this quiet by just not mentioning them.
So, an MI5 agent told a newspaper it was stolen.
Even more stupid than losing it in the first place..
Dude, that's not even funny.
Next, please.
Bowie J. Poag
Bowie J. Poag
Project Founder, PROPAGANDA For Linux (
aka the "right-wing" bitch animal.
Democrat, my ass.
Bowie J. Poag
Bowie J. Poag
Project Founder, PROPAGANDA For Linux (
was the e-text edition of "Atlas Shrugged" and child pr0n.
No surprise there. The two are often found together.
Bowie J. Poag
Bowie J. Poag
Project Founder, PROPAGANDA For Linux (
If MI5 is anything like I bet they are as far as security goes, the drive controller has onboard encryption (so the drive isn't readable by any other machine), multiple passwords that change daily, and a virus set to go off if the compueter stays unconnected to the MI5 network for more than, say, 24 hours. It's just a geuss though.... Lubarsky's Rule of Cybernetic Entomology-- "There's always one more bug."
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Crudely Drawn Games
This isn't the first time this has happened. During the Gulf war, something very similar occured.
...phil
...phil
"For a list of the ways which technology has failed to improve our quality of life, press 3."
Well, imagine an agent trying to go to, say, WC and do the usuall stuuf there - with laptop handcuffed to him. It'd be a bit inconvenient, no? Same with eating, buying tickets and many other regular activities...
-- Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.
With the M15 laptop stolen, how are we going to get our next Mozilla milestone? This will set back development immensely, and it's all the English government's fault. I bet Microsoft paid off the English government to have them lose it.
Wait...that's an I, not a 1...
If 90% of everything isn't crap, your standards are too high.
We will never be able to come to a consensus on which 10% ISN'T crap.
If 90% of everything isn't crap, your standards are too high.
Just to clarify things, the agency is called MI5, not M15 .. another agency is MI6.
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IIRC, it's been said before that MI5 and MI6 spy on each other...
I think MI5 is domestic and MI6 is supposed to be international, but there is overlap.
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IIRC, there is an encrypted ext2fs that you can use, where you supply the password when you mount or something..
I wonder if it was this, or some Win32 based encrypted filesystem.
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Doug
We know the data is safe because they are using the Super Secure(tm) Windows NT 4.0 operating system. Oh yeah, it is also in its prime state for high security, being it not connected to a network and all.
There must be a joke in there somewhere to call this whole line of work the 'intelligence business' :-)
We're the guys who are always talking about how the NSA has such amazing technology and can decrypt things sooo much faster than we or distributed.net can come close to, aren't we?
--
linuxisgood:~$ man woman
Restating the obvious since nineteen aught five.
A similar thing happened in Toronto a while ago. A CSIS agent (one of the Canadian spy organizations) left a briefcase in his car while attending a Maple Leafs game. The briefcase had a bunch of sensitive documents and was stolen when his car was broken into.
:)
Maybe Canada and the UK use the same training programs for their agents
Dana
The guy who had the laptop was an 'intelligence' officer/operative/whatever. (Not a particularly good one, I'm guessing.) He would have been PRETTY conspicuous with a pair of handcuffs connecting him to his luggage. It's probably a good idea to NOT handcuff yourself to things if you want to blend into the background and gather top-secret information on Ireland while typing it into your laptop...
...to make this scenerio more embarassing -- make the laptop
be a 'cute little pink iMac' laptop. >:D
-- www.bteg.com | bleh.n3.net | hac47.dhs.org
In this age of unlimited interconnectivity, it's amazing what we consider "Old News" these days.
_________________________
Didnt this story break on Thursday?
Not sure if this is just stuff that I've seen in the movies or if it's true to life, but don't these people usually have the things handcuffed to them or something?
And if not... SHOULDN'T THEY?
-- Dr. Eldarion --
It was Bear, Paddinton Bear
Your pain is funny
Yes, and these are the kind of morons that the government wants to give the key to every encryption system used within the UK.
Too bloody right they are !!!!!!
As well as the (*irony*) beautifully crafted RIP bill (*/irony), in their infinite wisdom, the UK government now are bringing in a new 'Terrorism Act' which redefines terrorism as being err.... anything that the Government want really. So swiping a lap-top some MI5 civil service type left unattended can get you 'Enemy of the State' status as well....... bit like being chased by the Keystone Cops, I suppose.
Stephen Hawking has written another book. It's about time as well.
I lost my watch on saturday in the men's locker room at the downtown YMCA, It had sensitive data on it, like the actual secret correct time as set by an atomic clock in a government institution somewhere in midwestern united states. I had it strapped to my wrist as so many have suggested is the best way to save it, but I fear it may have been sabotaged by enemy spies who I also note were eyeing me in the shower room.
Just a few years from now, a scenario like this will be unthinkable. Intel recently announced a new technology using fingerprints and tiny Smart Cards for user security with laptops. If terrorists are to make any use of a stolen computer, they'll have to steal the owner's digit as well.
I must say I don't really feel comfortable about all this new technology...
www.e.magazine.dk
Weren't some MI5 agents executed in WWII for selling secrets to the Nazis? It's likely that this agent needed away to get the secrets to the people who paid him off, while at the same time looking innocent.
It wasn't stolen, it was *sold*, people.
Bowie J. Poag
Bowie J. Poag
Project Founder, PROPAGANDA For Linux (
I know it seems harsh, but this is one reason I'd like to see a username blacklist feature available on Slashdot. The idea doesn't impress me, but it seems necessary now that stuff like this guy is showing up posting advertising spam with a Slashdot account.
Moderating is all well and good, but it won't always catch them before I read a thread. It seems much easier to provide a simple list that I can add 'impulsiveprofits' to, and never have to think about him again.
Look at his profile, he's posted 8 times this week, each one spam advertising.
Yes, and these are the kind of morons that the government wants to give the key to every encryption system used within the UK.
Yes, I know you're watching me...
Deleted
Both of the computers were recovered.
It was posted on Slashdot awhile back, and here is a link to the original story.
On a note to the story, what's going to happen to the MI5 agent? I'm assuming that he will be quietly discharged, and a few months down the road he'll disappear. (That usually happens to clumsy government agents. heh.)
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon? :P)
(If you can't figure out how to E-Mail me, Don't.
I've always assumed that they end up being bought and sold on the internet's own black market... you know... EBay.
I'm only half-joking. Think about it, you have an open market where people all over the world can legally bid on your merchandise, and no effort is ever made to verify that the product being sold is not stolen (though there is some insurance the the product actually exists). Once someone buys it from you it becomes a legal item again, as that person has their "reciept" from the EBay auction...
Your Brain + EEG + LEGO Robots = Brainstorms
I suspect that unless he snuck the laptop out (bad spy!), either the data is not that sensitive, or the entire hard drive was encrypted (or both).
Though actually, I'll bet there are a lot of people who would like to get ahold of the encryption software or hardware (probably hardware), in order to reverse engineer it. Not neccesarily for any bad purposes, mind you, I supsect that people such as Ross Anderson or Lars Knudsen (a couple of cryptographers, for those not in the know) would love to get ahold of something like that and be able to say that they broke a cipher used by MI5.
Also, I doubt this guy is actually a spy of any sort: more likely a desk worker of some sort.
"On a note to the story, what's going to happen to the MI5 agent? I'm assuming that he will be quietly discharged, and a few months down the road he'll disappear. (That usually happens to clumsy government agents. heh.)"
:)
If you're fimiliar with the Dilbert Principle, this agent will be promoted to upper-management in no time at all.
Is publicizing the theft/loss the right thing to do in this situation? What could MI5 possibly gain by announcing to the entire world that one of its bumbling agents has lost a laptop containing "sensitive government information"? If nothing else, the information might make the person who found (or stole) the machine realize that he has something really valuable in his hands, and decide to fence the sensitive information to MI5 enemies, or demand a huge reward, or even hold it for ransom. The saying goes, "There's no such thing as bad publicity," but I wonder if this might be an exception.
begin 644
I think this would make a good children's story:
A nice family finds the laptop in Paddington Station and decide to take it home and take care of it. It tends to get into little adventures and hilarity ensues.
One of my former roommates bought such a laptop, only to find out later it was stolen from the CEO of a certain major corporation. He found out after looking at the hard drive, which not only had Windows 95 installed on it, but lots of files relating to executive business of said corporation.
The bizarre part is apparently no one at the computer store ever looked at what, besides Windows 95 itself, was actually installed on the thing, nor did anybody try to format the disk.
I don't think they ever caught the thief.....so some details have been obscured.
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How am I supposed to fit a pithy, relevant quote into 120 characters?
I had a laptop stoling a couple years ago and was just wondering what typically happens to them? Do the thieves sell them as is or do they wipe the HD, install a fresh Win9x (or maybe the latest OpenBSD :)) and then take them to the swap meet? My laptop was a WinNT 4 Server used for demoing web apps, and I doubt the average thug would know what to do when he couldn't just hit ESC to bypass the password prompt. Maybe such systems just wind up in the trash? Are there actually big time laptop-thieving operations or do people just steal them because they can't afford to buy one capable of running Win2K? My apologies for the lack of facts and plethora of questions.