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Getting Introverts to Unwind at Work X-Mas Party?
pongo asks: "My department has a large population of introverts, as confirmed by Meyers-Briggs testing. Somehow I was suckered into planning a holiday party with another department that suffers similiar symptoms. Any suggestions on ways (themes, decorations, food choices, games, etc) to encourage light banter and to get people meeting each other, which would make this party a big success? The party will be during business hours and alcohol is allowed." The key here is making a comfortable atmosphere where everyone can unwind and feel comfortable with meeting each other. What ways do you know of to encourage this kind of atmosphere?
I just did a search and good party tips tricks suggestions and only found 10,500 sites in 0.19 seconds...
;>
hah.
If all else fails, hot tub!
:wq
Make sure you have paper plates which can support the weight of at least 3 mini-hotdogs, broccoli and some ranch dressing at the same time. Also, avoid slippery glasses.
RUssian Drinking Games!
They won't be introverts for long...
Mandatory triple-whisky at entrance should do the trick =)
This is the place where you write something that will make you seem like a complete idiot.
Preperation:
Get a long role of sticky labels
On enougth labels for one each of the guests write the name of a diffrent animal
As each guest arrives stick a label on their back and tell them they have to find out the name of their animall.
The other rules
Yoy cant tell somone the name of their animal directely.
You can ask any other question about your animal.
Wouldn't it be nice if schools got all the money they wanted and the army had to hold jumble sales for guns
1. Acquire keg of beer popular among your group of introverts. Declare a standing keg rule: No one pulls their own draft.
2. Nothing gets people together like a common enemy. Shove a couple at each other, and see how they bond by calling you names.
3. Utter "Boba Fett is lame." See premise of #2.
4. Slyly mention that the hot secretary is studying I/COBOL.
5. Instead of name tags, label people by their choice of editor. Let the ridicule begin.
6. Variant on #5: Label by choice of OS. Hand out Nerf Bats.
7. Indian Poker: #6, applied to foreheads without them knowing what the label says. The goal is now to really get someone's ass beat. (AOS/VS is the trump play.)
8. Set up a (Game Cube|XBox|PS2) or four. Have competitions.
9. Your favorite and mine, Spin the DIMM-Module!
10. Counter-Strike Counter-Strike Counter-Strike. (Silly rabbit, Quake is for kids!)
11. Vodka shots. Declare that first puker gets a weeks bonus PTO. (Deny requests to use it in the event of hangover, however. For suffering to be truly effective, it must be enjoyed by others.)
12. CP/M Trivial Pursuit!
13. Strippers. The aggressive kind. You know, Bambi the Leather Terminator.
14. Say "Vader could kick Gandalf's ass." See #3.
15. Anime Anime Anime!
- billn
LSD in the punch. Nothing like it. Get
those INTP's hopping. Bitchin' like
crazy and sulking in the corner between
visions. You never know, could be worth
three or four patents by the time the
night's over.
You could do what i do in The Sims. Just put them all in a small room, and remove the door. They'll get to know eachother
"I hate people, but i love Gatherings. Isn't it ironic?" -- Randall Graves, Clerks
Speaking for myself as an introvert geek, the worst possible thing at a party/kick-off is to be bunched up with a group of morons to play a stupid social game the point of which is only to make an ass of yourself. Some (management) seem to love this after taking some 2 day team-building class at a spa last winter and they're aching to try it - Avoid this at all costs!
If these are your average geeks, Developers, Techs, Support personel etc, the most common factor that everyone shares has to be war stories, stupid users|clients|bosses|coding etc, it's the enemy that geeks world wide share and team up to battle. Worst(best?) tale of the eve wins a prize (no matter if it's made up, all to spur creativity and get a few laughs).
Wax-Museum Fire Results In Hundreds Of New Danny DeVito Statues
People who like these kind of social interactions always try to force others to do the same. It's like it's mandatory to have fun at these things. Make a xmas party for those who like this kind of stuff and let the others go home and play videogames or whatever they like to do. People are not all the same, so respect that.
True warriors use the Klingon Google
I'm off the chart when it comes to introversion, so I might be able to help you here (and help myself become a little more extroverted).
The biggest thing to remember with introverts is that we like small intimate parties with people we know. The maximum number of people you want to strive for is about 30 (varies with the introverts). If you can, try to run many small Christmas parties as opposed to one big blow out. If you have to do the big blow out celebration, try and seat people according to their co-workers (we hate having to sit next to people who we have no connection with).
Other than that, we aren't much different. We like music, food, beer, entertainment, belly dancers, etc. I saw one suggestion in the posts that was cool, 4-player party video games.
Good Luck!
Some of the things that make the party successful:
parties, wherever they are in the country.
One caveat is that you need to be prepared to spend a lot of money. You do these things and I guarantee you that everyone will open up and let their hair down.
GOBACK.
Alcohol
The method used in my workplace is a 'game' called Dirty Santa. This works only at Xmas time, of course...
Everyone brings a gift (about $5-$10 value). They all go (wrapped but completely unlabeled) into a pile. Everyone draws a number (no gift, no number). #1 goes first (of course), and picks a gift. #2 gets to either a) pick a gift or b) steal from #1 (who then must open another gift from under the tree). #3 can open a present or steal from either #2 or #1, and so forth. When it's all over, #1 gets one final chance to steal from anyone at all (since they had to open a present at the start).
Generally, this starts holiday parties very well- good gifts like (chocolates are a perrenial fav) get stolen frequently while, well, boobie prizes get lumped on the poor sap who ended up opening them.
Do you like Japanese imports?
Why is it that "extroverts" (assuming that any of these personality models have any validity, which I think is quite open to question) feel that it is their duty to force others to be like them? And that doing so will make the lives of others better?
If the "introverts" among you decided to force the "extroverts" to sit facing the wall reading Slashdot for 12 hours "for their own good", would the "extroverts" find that acceptable? If not, then why do they think it is acceptable to force others to behave the way they think best in the name of "fun" or "loosening up"?
sPh
We're introverts! Get over it. We don't *want* to be artificial extroverts. Have your party and enjoy yourselves. We'll go home and have our own lives, thank you very much.
And besides that, you are co-workers, *not* friends. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to know about your relationship problems or your bad back or how many miles you ran over the weekend. Just back the hell up and let me do my job, okay?
...is marijuana.
The unfortunate side-effect is that you might get locked up for dealing an illegal substance...
This is exactly what I hate most about virtually any party in America: talking shop. I know this is about a company Christmas party, but it applies to virtually any social gathering.
First you're asked "What do you do?", and once your job classification has been determined, the conversation then:
1) aborts if the questioner has no idea what it is your talking about. As in, "I'm a network engineer and pretty much diagnose router problems all day". Then, the questioner, a Java hack or marketroid moves on.
2) proceeds full tilt if the questioner's in your line of work.
How about talking about a recent non-technical book you've read, the latest play you saw, summer expedition you went on, politics, or anything OTHER THAN WORK? Nope, not possible here.
American geeks ought to be required to head over to the European continent for six months or so. In many countries there it's consider low class to start a conversation out with, "So whaddya do for a living?" and proceed to talk about your work life.
"We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
Don't get me wrong. I will kill myself trying to help any coworker overcome a technical problem where I have expertise. I don't even have to like them, and might even loathe them because of philosophical differences (I am an NRA-supporting libertarian and defend the ideals in the American Bill of Rights and Constitution) -- but I am paid to get a job done and I do it.
But, to relax, the last thing I want to do is hang out with the guy who took off for a vacation while I cleaned up his code.
I want to hang around with people who, if they weren't coding for a living, would do it for fun anyway. Like many geeks, I eat, sleep, and dream code. For fun, I design architectures to let me stream digital audio/video from a central server in the home to various media terminal set-top boxes (silent, of course). I networked my home myself (nothing like straddling ceiling joists in the attic above the family room with the cathedral ceiling). I freak out the telco people when they see my headend ("Really, it's done, I hooked the DSL pair to the demarc last night when I got the call it was live. Don't touch that -- it's the RJ-31x that lets the alarm system seize the POTS pair: you'll set the siren off if you break the connection.").
In short, what we geeks consider fun is the very thing non-geeks want to avoid.
I suppose you could try to arrange a LAN party, if a lot of your geeks are gamers, but don't try to get geeks to mix socially with non-geeks.
You could've hired me.
So-called "introverts" are usually suffering from any number of serious psychologically recognized conditions. They could be schizoid (no motivation for social contact), avoidant, schizophrenic or chronically depressed.
Brow-breating such borderline personalities to consume alcohol and "just be more social" is a bad idea from the start.
Now, before you mod me a flamer, bear in mind there *are* simply "shy" people that can be (and want to be) coaxed out of their shells. A party atmosphere (preferably w/o alcohol) is a good way to go there, but, again, I'm afraid it's hard to tell if someone's a bit shy or seriously depressed. Would you want to give someone alcohol in that condition?
2 Words.
Doobie Snacks!
Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Mix in lots of chardonnay for 3-4 hours, followed by yucky micro-brew (are you listening Triumph?), then a small glass of Jack Daniels and CocaCola. Buy a pair of socks at the shoe store next to the bar for no reason. Shake all the ingredients well by falling out of your boss's Chev Tahoe.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
It's worked for me!
The next Cmdr Taco duplicate will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
A big success in whose eyes? The people you're supposedly throwing the party for, or those in upper and middle management who want to see everyone "bonding" like they do. If you company is really full of introverts, then if they're anything like me, they won't enjoy the sort of party you're trying to set up. As others have pointed out, introverts have no desire to have others force them to be artificially extrovert. Let them be, and accept that the party won't be what you'd traditionally expect it to be. That doesn't mean the participants won't be enjoying themselves. Just that their idea of fun is probably different to yours.
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." -- Delos B. McKown
This reminds me of a dumb old sketch by Chris Rock about 'reverse racism', where he complained that he was tired of being specially treated because he was black. If you want the introverts to enjoy themselves, just let them be.
:) Don't forget vodka or wine-based coolers for the sissies.
I'm one such introvert and I totally hate parties because I either sit alone and vedge out until its over, or spend all evening bitching about the stupid games and annoying idiots that try to chat me up out of pity.
If you want to cater to the geeks, give them the flexibility to organise their own party according to *their* likes and tastes. For my friends and I, we like individual-centric entertainment. Think paintball, go-kart racing, bowling, LAN parties; anything that doesn't involve teams (well ok, Quake CTF is the sole exception). Many of us were the kind of folks who were always picked last on teams, and as such we just learned to hate the concept altogether.
Food is anyone's guess. Again in my own group of friends, we like to keep it simple. Pizza, poutine or good old cold cuts. And good beer! Labatt Blue for the feeble, Guinness and Heineken for the connaisseurs
Then comes the tricky part : music. As it just happens, I'm a music freak. I am very picky and discerning about my aural sensations. You don't need to hire a stupid DJ (since all the good ones have regular gigs and don't do house calls), but just don't put on those anal-retentive DJ MC Gino Bling-Bling Mega-Hit-Mix-XP compilations and let it repeat all night (the 'shuffle' function doesn't help, either). Have someone throw together a decent playlist for good variety and let the mp3's stream all night, but most importantly hide the stereo so people don't start nagging you to play their favorite Yoko Ono records.
So basically, keep it smallish, keep it simple, and most importantly : listen to what the people want in a party. It isn't *your* party, it's *everyone's* party.
-Billco, Fnarg.com
I've got one advice for you. Booze, lots of booze...
"Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
This question is a classic example of why many people strongly oppose letting the general public have access to psychological tests!
Being an "introvert" or "extrovert" on Briggs-Meyers indicates something very different than you seem to think. It does not mean that an "introvert" is shy, has poor social skills, can't get laid, whatever. Nor does it mean that an "extrovert" means is a slope-headed moron who can only bond with friends and coworkers with a beer in one hand and a football game on the TV.
Instead, it refers to the way the person relates to the world. IIRC, extroverts tend to look towards outside authority - the boss says we should we name tags and introduce ourselves to three strangers, so This Is Good. Extroverts tend to be uncomfortable in totally unstructured environments, so they "plan parties," etc. Sound familiar?
Introverts tend to look towards inside authority - the boss says we're too dumb to remember our own name and lack the social skills to say hello to strangers outside of this highly artificial environment. He thinks we're a bunch of losers, gee aren't we having fun here! I'm glad he forced us to come to this damn party... on the bright side, he's probably too dumb to realize that our animated conversations are discussions of writing effective resumes to get out of this Hellhole. This Is Bad. Introverts are comfortable in unstructured environments.
If your office is mostly introverts, respect that. Make some plans for the extroverts (who are less comfortable in totally unstructured environments), but leave the introverts alone. If you try to force them to participate, you'll just breed resentment. If you just provide food, alcohol and space the party will be considered a success because they'll all do whatever they think is fun.
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
I thought cathedral ceilings kinda ruled out attics. (floor > living space > sheetrock > rafters > roof sheathing > tar paper > shingles)
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Ok, so here's what everyone has suggested...
Don't invite me, I don't want to go...
but if you do, there better be good food...
and you better lock us in...
but no lame games...
but plenty of [alcohol/controlled substances]...
and [lan games/playstation/etc]...
but not too many people or I won't go...
but they can have a good time if you make them all hate *you*...
so let's just raid the pharmacy and mix some drinks.
"It's tough to be bilingual when you get hit in the head."
I behave as an introvert because:
1. I am often not interested in the topics at hand. Making artificial topics with even less interet is not the answer.
2. I don't always say the first think that comes to mind. I usually wait until a conversation comes to a sticking point where I actually have something to offer. I usually let someone else say the obvious.
3. I hate talking about myself. Don't make me ask others about me.
Try bringing up topics more in tune with the people there.
Offer many small groups with small topics. don't force everyone to come together into "one big event/conversation".
Try setting up many smaller tables each with different types of snacks, and conversation pieces (games, toys, books, whatever). Let the people go to the topic of their choice.
There is nothing so silly as other peoples traditions, and nothing so sacred as our own.
Maybe instead of an X-mas party you need to have an XXX-mas party
No, it's a recognition that there are other things to life than your cubicle. Anyone can talk about what they do for a living, even a streetsweeper.
A more developed individual has other interests and activities which he or she can converse about. Not just real-life Dilbert episodes.
"We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
OK, some of those ideas suck... but some might work.
"You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas"
Sen. Davy Crocket to US Congress, Nov. 1, 1835
That will save you a lot of trouble and cut down on your planning. Let the true introverts go home and do their own thing.
If that's not an option, I strongly second the idea below that social games that are intended to force people to cooperate or interact should be avoided at all costs - especially ones where you are forced to make animal sounds. I liked that when I was about 10, but am not comfortable with that now and doubt many others are either.
Actually, forced participation in anything, even a gift exchange, is wrong. That should be optional too. Just let people do their own thing.
Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.
By asking me what a good ice-breaker would be.
"We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
Depends on how it was designed. Most houses today have attics above cathedral ceilings. The roof is 6/12, and the ceiling is 4/12, or something like that. This is pretty much a requirement in cold areas, so you can afford to heat the room.
Serve alcohol--not so much to get people wasted, but to take the edge off.
Get one of the projectors from marketing, hook it up to a laptop with a serious 3d video card, and do the tunes with Winamp or some other player that has the ability for visual plug-ins like Geiss or something pretty that people can literally just stare at.
And get rid of the flourescent lights. Do some other lighting so people can see other people's faces, but aren't exposed to blaring light irritation.
Provide seating to. Most introverts I know are pretty non-excited about their bodies and feel awkward standing up which just causes them to be more shy than usual.
Don't run around telling people to have fun because it's a company party--that's just irritating.
My house has two stories, but the second story has about half the floor space of the first: the unavailable part has an attic over the cathedral ceiling in the family/formal living/formal dining rooms.
You could've hired me.
Handy Tip: Provide something of better quality than Rolling Rock.
Terrorists can attack freedom, but only Congress can destroy it.
I've learned, IF I go to these things, I stay for the food, and then leave. Unless there is smoke in the room, then I won't even enter.
I don't drink, don't force me to, I'll quit first.
I know a few people at work I will talk to. But my life isn't my work. I'd prefer to be back home melting metal or some other hooby than playing some silly game.
I can't belive that I read all the way down here... sheesh!
You people sound like a bunch of ill-mannered anti-social sad-sacks.
Steve's Computer Service, Hobbs, NM
Be sure to publicize the date well in advance. This will allow me to cultivate a case of 24-hour flu which will keep me out of the way of the "fun-lovers".
Since, as a personal choice, I avoid crowds of loud and/or drunk people upon whom I am not allowed to practice violence, I refuse to attend office parties. (Have you ever been forced to smile when a drunken Vice-President throws a glass of beer in your face? Been there. Not going back.)
Exactly! Extroverts seem to think that there is something wrong with introverts that needs to be "fixed". "All we need to do is to plan a party so that the introverts can come out of their shell!". Yeah, sure, that'll work. It's both ignorant and arrogant to assume that your personality is somehow the correct one. There is nothing I hate more than some party/training/whatever devised by some ultra-extrovert full of moronic activities designed as ice breakers. Your best bet is to turn over the planning duties to someone else who better understands the employees in your company.
OK, by this time I realize you're trolling, but I'll answer this one last time. See my original post:
How about talking about a recent non-technical book you've read, the latest play you saw, summer expedition you went on, politics, or anything OTHER THAN WORK?
I mean, jeez, you really need me to give you talking points for starting a conversation? In a world as varied as we live in there's an infinite number of things to talk about. Books, wars, movies, cloning, plays, civil rights, charities, volunteer work, your phrickin Zodiac sign, ....
Still need help? Here's a geek solution:
Google Search - Converation Starters"We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
a.k.a. Junkyard Wars, a.k.a. The Ultimate Architect.
So, there were a few hundred geeks in Las Vegas last week for Windows Embedded DevCon. Thursday night was the XP Embedded launch party. The musical act was Credence Clearwater Revisited, with warm-up provided by the product manager's band. Sounds terrible, right?
Wrong. Because in one corner of the room, 10 teams of 4 geeks each were frantically collecting parts to build a device capable of transporting a full glass of beer across a flat 10 meter track. That was the most fun I've ever had at a work-related party.
Here's my recipe:
Pick your objective. It should be acheiveable, but challenging;
Give each team the absolute essentials (wheel, motors);
Put everything else (mix up Meccano, Lego, string, glue, bits of plumbing, stuff) on a big table in the middle, and keep it covered until the starting whistle blows;
Three hours seems about the right length of time. Adjust if your objective is particularly challenging;
Make sure someone is keeping the teams fed and watered;
Encourage strained interpretations of the rules (e.g. string can be used as a guidance system, but not as propulsion);
Award several prizes (fastest; best design; most colorful and so on)
--
E_NOSIG
if management makes you play a stupid social game, then isn't making management the enemy giving people something to bond about.
151 works well
Get a well-stocked bar, some good food, a decent DJ that /party/ not a videogame tourney.
/want/ to do stuff.
plays a wide variety of (good) music[1], and a few
game consoles with multiplayer party-friendly games[2].
If people dig the games, set up a projector and have contests. Remember, tho, this is a
Above all, do NOT play dumb, forced-interaction party games.
The only thing these will do is either annoy or freak out the people you're trying to entertain.
Gift exchanges are dumb, too. No one wants to go shopping, let alone shop for something that means nothing to them.
Basically, don't force people to do anything, just make a fun environment where people will
C-X C-S
[1] No Britney Spears or similar cheesy pop-dance music. I have yet to meet a nerd that likes that stuff.
[2] Kung-fu fighting games, racing games, shooters, etc.
N64 has prolly the best selection of 'party' games right now, and it's cheap to boot.
need I say more?
or is it to save face if you are unemployed?
...leaves one safe topic to talk about: the weather.
No, it's to save face if your ARE employed, most socialites (not I said socialites not socialists) are so filthy rich (really Old Money) they don't work.
No we have some thing else in Europe called Culture, which is very popular amongst polite society.
Well, it's a party. Even introverts can have some fun sometimes.
;) They don't know how to respond.
I know what you're saying though. I'm a big introvert myself. Often we are pressured to be "normal", which is wrong, the world needs all types.
I have to make an effort to be sociable, which is why I don't do it very often; it's too draining. But sometimes I do make the effort. I wonder how it feels from the extrovert side. Do they too have to make a similar effort to be friendly to introverts?
I know, it sounds bad that there should be any effort in social situations. Trouble is, in my normal mode of behavior I tend to freak people out
Sometimes I come across extroverted people who I can feel at ease with. These are the ones with true social skills I think.
Not sure why...
Anyhow, this is a great way to get a party going, or at least a good way to have fun!
Some of my most fond memories of "work parties" were xmas parties that did this game. Beware, though - while it can work with larger crowds, typically things fall apart after about 30-40 people. Plus it can get REAL boring with a ton of people, just due to the number of switches (oh, yeah - limit the number of times a gift can be stolen to about 3-4 times, otherwise the exchange can go on nearly forever!)...
Some interesting gifts I have seen:
1. Old programmer box - complete with 70's style desk fan, LED HP programmer's calculator, old code printout (on greenbar, of course), etc.
2. Box of "helpful" items for help desk people (aspirin, earplugs, alcohol, etc)
3. A red "government" (anyway, the sticker said "Property of US Govt" on it) security phone, complete with trailing PBX wires
Of the three (and there were more), number 3 was most interesting - never did find out who brought that one.
I once managed to snag a most useful item (at least for the summer): An ice cream machine. However, this was no ordinary ice cream maker: this one was special. It works by putting the ice cream mixture inside the mixing cannister, then you sit the whole thing in the freezer, and the motor stirs the mixture, while simultaneously circulating the cold air around the cannister, gradually freezing it. When it gets to a certain consistancy, the paddle stops (simply because the motor can't provide any more torque), and you can remove the ice cream and eat it (at that point, it is like homemade soft serve), or put it in another container to freeze it solid (like regular ice cream). Yum!
Reason is the Path to God - Anon
Except that what many geeks find fun are the things that non-geeks find "work" or "hell".
The reverse is also true.
You could've hired me.
I once worked at a small "mom-and-pop" style development house. Our office was situated in a small complex, on the second floor. The first floor of the complex was unused. For a couple of years while I was there, for Christmas we would open up that bottom floor (it was used for storage by the company), and have the party there.
Since there was no walls, etc inside, and a concrete floor - damn near anything could be done. We set up a dart board, food, etc - but the fun thing we would play was this funky little R/C car game.
At one time, these cars were made as a kit of four cars, but I would imagine enterprising geeks could build their own system. Essentially, each car was controlled by a person, goals were set up, and boundries were set, and there was a ball - the goal? Get the ball into a goal, and score a point. The cars ate batteries like popcorn, but simply buying a ton of batteries would keep everything going for a long time.
Today, I don't know if you can get cars, but you can get the cheap and cheesy retail "battlebots" sold at places like Walgreen's - these are radio controlled (or IR) that could be had fun with, too...
Reason is the Path to God - Anon
If it helps, many "extroverts" are actually pretty insecure. Their extroversion is really a plea for constant ego strokes that they're cool. Yes, you're cool for drinking that beer, so am I. Yes, you're cool for watching the game on TV, so am I. Other insecure extroverts have no problem with this - they get their ego strokes in return - but it's draining for people who don't need the ego strokes.
Not all extroverts are insecure, of course, and the ones you're comfortable with are the ones who are outgoing but not insecure. They don't demand the ego strokes so you don't end up feeling drained.
Once you realize this, it's a *lot* easier to deal with the insecure extroverts. Think of it as just another form of primate grooming behavior. When I meet another geek, I don't discuss Linux distros because I can't think of anything better to do, I do it because it's the "grooming behavior" we use to establish a rapport. Once that's done we can move on to other things.
The insecure extroverts are no different, they just need to spend more time in the initial grooming behaviors, and those grooming behaviors might involve burping games instead of a discussion of the merits of vi vs. emacs. That's not a problem when you're dealing with them one-on-one, but in a herd they tend to reinforce each other and you never get past the initial stages. So you avoid the herd and only deal with them as individuals. There's nothing wrong with you, and there's nothing wrong with them individually. But put them together and it's a room fully of clingy first-graders....
Unfortunately, a forced party situation is the one situation where you can't always walk away. A good planner will realize this and not force everyone together, but managers in search of "team building" are not known for their good common sense.
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
very very simple: (in order of importance)
:)
no pressure
good music (monkeyradio!)
alcohol
good food
good lighting
the guests will figure out the rest.
the truly introverted will stay home.
the midly introverted will come.
the shy will come out of their shells.
the extroverts will have a good time.
will the introverts and extroverts mix?
maybe. maybe not. it's not your problem. leave some things to chance.
if it's a more cozy (aka, not office) environment, have a couple games off to the side so that they are available if a group of people decides they want to play one. but don't make them mandatory.. remember, no pressure.
everybody's happy, party's a success.
and to the guy who had to smile while the vice-pres threw a glass of beer in his face... you didn't have to take that. you could have thrown one back in his face. he's plastered. he won't remember
Go with the basics- Good food -variety here. Remember that there are people with food allergies and they don't want to get uncomfortable having to explain why they aren't "appreciative" of the generosity. Nore do they want to go hungry when others are eating.
Good drinks- again variety - there are people that don't drink alcohol for religious, medical, addiction or other reasons and they don't want to get uncomfortable having to explain that either. Many introverts don't appreciate dealing with drunks either. Your company may not appreciate the liability.
You can make the food and drinks a topic of conversation and exploration by having various countries represented. Introverts tend to explore more than extraverts. (After one unenjoyable party why waste time at the next)
Music- you might try several areas each with a different type and not so loud that it disturbs conversation.
Don't forget the eye candy, but forget about smell and touch, too many strong emotions/liabilities there.
Do not try to force conversation but encourage it by creating a variety of situations where any given individual can find a comfort zone. Also try encouraging conversations in topics that people are comfortable with and can find others with similar interests. Give each person a nametag and urge them to put two or more topics they are comfortable with on it. This cuts down on both the bother of name remembrance and topic discovery protocol. These can be killers for introverts.
Remember that there is more to life than football and gossip. Finding other topics quickly and easily is a problem.
For the most part 'icebreakers' are worthless and annoying, to both the extroverts (who find them pointless) and the introverts (who will resist them). Something that happened at a school party last night might be interesting, tho... A "snowball fight" using marshmallows. I'll warn you ahead of time to NOT do this in a carpeted area or near upholstry, since the marshmallows will get squished and make a mess. If you have a parking garage, or good weather for an outdoor lot, you've got a great setup.
my sig's at the bottom of the page.
Hit them until they hit back. Voila! You've turned that introvert into an extrovert!
You said X-Mas party, right? Heh heh.
Seriously though, MDMA was successfully used for over a decade in psychiatric settings to help introverted individuals and couples break out of their respective shells. Within a half hour of ingestion, ego defenses will melt away and you will have a room full of chatty nerds (don't blame me, it sounds like that's what you're asking for here). Just be sure to have plenty of water, some comfy couches, and some multivitamin + amino acid tablets for afterwards to ease the infamous hangovers. Don't forget to have a lot of condoms on hand in case these people try to do something about their minor office crushes. Ahem.
Skip the lollipops, vapo-rub, and glow sticks. Only rave kids and cops believe that these things are good accessories for MDMA.
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
Baby oil. A big tarp. Everyone is beautiful. A "safe word". Anything goes!
It's ideas, not idea's. Unless you are speaking of something that belongs to idea. Got it?
the place i used to work would give out $100 bills if you showed up at the winter party. it was more of a christmas present than a bribe attempt, but it still got the point across. the first time they did it, about half of the office showed up. the 2nd year, EVERYONE showed up, and had a good time. we had, 1) drink coupons for free drinks, 2) free pool, 3) free food and some other stuff, like free presents. even with the introverts, no one left early.
Why read the article when I can just make up a snap judgement?
..hence the moniker "introverts"! Don't make them go to some stupid company party in the first place! I know I hate the damn things and don't go to them. I've only been to 1 company party in my whole career (and it was a small 5 person company dinner at an Italian joint), and I'll never go to another! The whole idea is stupid, IMO.
This has always been a party-maker...the minute the hotties from marketing show up...especially Nancy in the low-cut business suit, flaunting her tripple-D's...um,er....I have to go to the men's room now.
-- www.globaltics.net
Political discussion for a new world
#1 DO NOT HOLD it at work...
:)
#2 DO NOT INVITE THE BOSS
#3 ensure items #1 and #2 are taken care of, things will go well from there...
#4 Think about how to get home
errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
Last movie you saw, or may want to see ?
:( While I personally despise golf it seems to be ONE non work topic that spans worlds.
Family, if they have kids it is ALWAYS a good ice breaker.
Music, bought, heard any thing new recently ?
Of course there is the only real alternative here in the US at a business function...Sports/GOLF
errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
Be sure to post under something other than anon next time you want to be grammar marm.
-
Steve's Computer Service, Hobbs, NM
You are an odd one. My goal is to help you avoid being labeled an idiot, not to lose karma for departing from the topic. So skip the attack mode and be grateful--I'm only trying to help you.
For real, click here and change your sig.
Alcohol.
It's foolproof.
Trust me, I've been on the wagon for two years and I am the least loose geek I know at any party.
--------
Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...
and lots of it.
the answer is:
C2H5OH
really, just whip it out and walk around the party. No one will have reservations about being singled out or being remembered for doing something dumb since you've already trumped everyone. People will become comfortable and have something to talk about as well knowning that nothing they say/do will be as awkward as what you're doing.
My experience with introverts is that they are quite happy to talk to people for hours on end, providing that they 1. have someone to talk to, and 2. have something to talk about.
Pick a set of questions (at university, "what subject are you reading?" works well; I'm sure you can find appropriate questions for your introverts). Tell people that when they run into someone for the first time, they should ask/answer the 3-5 questions you chose. If you prefer, you could make it a contest ("get as many people as possible to answer these questions" or suchlike) but that really isn't necessary.
Once people know the fields, hobbies, musical tastes, etc of the people they are talking to, they are far more likely to continue talking.
Tarsnap: Online backups for the truly paranoid
Plenty of people are suggesting "lots o' booze" to loosen up the introverts. As a social failure myself, I can testify that lots of booze will make me do and say things that you and I will regret the next day. Nothing illegal or punishible by law mind you, but the introvert will be left with nagging feelings of having made an ass out of him/herself, in front of cow-workers and the boss.
Basically, leave them alone.
If the introverts were the way you wanted them to be....they would be.
You are not throwing a party, you are deciding who should get the axe. If you really wanted to throw a party for a bunch of introverts, you would quickly realize that you DON'T throw parties for introverts.
Party == socialising, Introvert == socially reluctant.
Can you grasp that? So, it appears that this party is really for the extroverts, or more precisely, management. They want to use the Xmas party as a pretense to do some team-building, find out who is not a "team-player" and get a pulse on what people think about the comapany and their jobs. Later, all those half-sozzled conversations will be used to decide who gets cut and who gets promoted.
As an introvert, I'd just like to point out that I'm always having a party. On the inside.
Please don't spoil it with external distractions.
Ade_
/
Big Bubbles (no troubles) - what sucks, who sucks and you suck
DONTs
DOs
Better yet, forget the entire idea. If a company wants to wish employees a happy Christmas for example, use the money and give them an extra day off so they can spend it with people they really care about... And do it on Dec 26, not the 24th or 23rd, else we'll just spend it at the Mall. Many countries have Boxing Day, the U.S. needs it too!
If you chat while fragging, is that enough communication?
This is why as an introvert myself I hate extroverted people. They dance around, make too much noise and in general make asses out of themselves and then when you don't want to join them, they say something is wrong with *YOU*.
That should do it. Nothing like killing your coworkers in a video game to spur team building, and fun.
The addition of beer, wine and other alcoholic drinks can only enhance this effect. Just have barf buckets handy - Quake induced motion sickness and alcohol can be messy!
Take care,
Brian
--
Limited Time Only - Free Palm m100's!
--
Cheers,
Ian
Great comment dude!!!
I'm gonna use this one at our xmas party.
;-)
"I used to have that really cool,funny sig
No - your boss has no right to make you play party games.
The last time a boss of mine tried that I resigned. She threatened me with the amazing line 'I'll make your fecking life hell next week if you don't get into that sumo suit!'.
I told her I would rather watch the girls dancing in the corner and drink some more whisky, sumo wasn't really my thing, I didn't have the ass for it.
I think I suggested that she did have the ass for it... I'm unsure. (she didn't, she had a nice ass... I hope I didn't say anything nasty about her ass)
She threatened again, suggesting I wasn't much of a team player if I didn't put on a few bits of rubber and try to bash john from accounts out of the ring.
I told her I'd happily leave her precious team on Monday if she would just shut the hell up for 10 minutes and go annoy someone else. She didn't. I did.
I'm sure she thought her promotion hung on getting all the 'computer guys' into those damn sumo suits before her boss left. god!
Yeah, this was flamebait, but, because I got my degree in the same town where the Rock is brewed, I'm required -- yeah, morally obligated -- to bitch.
Granted, RR isn't Hoeggarden or Orval's Trappist Ale, but it's a damn sight better than most of the mass-produced moose-piss that passes for lager in the USA.
Later,
-- CoffeeNowDammit (St. Vincent College class of '89..Go Stillers!)
"33"
".sig,
put ecstacy (MDMA) into the drinking water, that'll soon have them talking about anything including love, how much they love the other staff members, how they love the party, how they love you, and how much they love themselves.
(oh and you'll have to give them the next 2 days off)