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Laptop Anti-Theft Devices

mathin writes: "The NYTimes has an interesting article about laptop theft 'alarms' and services to help track down your laptop if it's swiped." Laptops are a lot like bicycles: if you have a 50-pound laptop, it doesn't need a lock.

237 comments

  1. PAGE WIDENING CRAPFLOOD! SUCK IT DOWN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    THE PAGE WIDENING CRAPFLOOD WILL CONTINUE UNTIL JAMIE FIXES THE BUG. Should take
    him all of about 5 minutes. Why wont he do it?


    .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks

    1. Re:PAGE WIDENING CRAPFLOOD! SUCK IT DOWN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    2. Re:PAGE WIDENING CRAPFLOOD! SUCK IT DOWN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      double HA HA: Best Possible OS and Incredibly Beautiful Browser your crap slides right off, foo.

    3. Re:PAGE WIDENING CRAPFLOOD! SUCK IT DOWN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks .when .that .happens .and .you .have .to .put .some .lame .lameness .filter .defeater .text .in .there .i .wonder .how .many .people .will .read .this .whole .comment .I .certainly .hope .it .doesnt .annoy .too .many .people .This .is .just .the .beginning .because .PAGE .WIDENING .IS .BACK .I .like .wide .pages .I .wish .all .pages .could .be .as .wide .as .this .dont .you .wide .pages .are .much .cooler .than .those .narrow .pages .you .are .used .to .reading .because .you .dont .have .to .worry .about .the .lameness .filter .telling .you .that .you .don't .have .enough .charaters .per .line .that .really .sucks

    4. Re:PAGE WIDENING CRAPFLOOD! SUCK IT DOWN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Flamebait
  2. this just might be second post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    it won't widen your pages, but it will build strong bones

  3. Nice if... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    MI5 brought a few trackers so they can find where their pissed agents left them...

  4. Obligatory MS Bash by ksw2 · · Score: -1, Troll

    You could always run Win Me on it, nobody would take it then.

    1. Re:Obligatory MS Bash by x1l · · Score: 0

      or linux or *bsd..........

    2. Re:Obligatory MS Bash by st0rmshad0w · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Or even if they did, you could sit back and laugh, knowing that half the device drivers don't even exist. =P

  5. The real issue here by cmdr_shithead · · Score: -1

    is US millitary imperialism: the world's most deadly force. Peace Now!

  6. Reactive Loss Prevention by Everach · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The majority of the companies I work with use capital insurance policies to cover the cost of replacing stolen equipment. With the proliferation of anti-theft devices, will insurance companies take the automobile route and provide discounts for using them? Or will they begin to require such devices to provide coverage at all?

    1. Re:Reactive Loss Prevention by fishebulb · · Score: 2

      they will rarely require. if a company doesnt have them, their rates are hiked way up.

      Insurance companies tend not to deny coverage to people (except the really bad drivers). they like to have people, and charge them A LOT

  7. Mine was stolen by EnVisiCrypt · · Score: 5, Interesting

    A couple of years ago, I bought a brand new laptop. I went into a store for a couple of minutes and left my month old laptop sitting on the seat of my car, door unlocked (stupid, I know), knowing I would only be gone for a couple minutes.

    When I got back home, I tried to boot up and nothing happened after the fan kicked on. After a couple of minutes of jiggling the power cord wire, I opened the case and found that my processor was stolen along with my two 64MB ram units. Someone had bothered to open it up, take the stuff, and close it again

    That is definitely a situation in which tracking would not have helped.

    --


    *everything* is Orwellian to cats.
    1. Re:Mine was stolen by mosschops · · Score: 2, Funny

      That is definitely a situation in which tracking would not have helped.

      Perhaps a fear of the unit having a tracking device is what made the thief steal only the components? Now that would be ironic...

    2. Re:Mine was stolen by MichaelDelving · · Score: 1

      A couple of minutes? I can envision getting into a boxen that fast to liberate components. But a laptop? The memory is usually pretty easy to access, given that's high on the list of post-retail upgrades. The processor? And reassembled? You are either full of crap, or you were gone at least 15 minutes and your thief had balls o' steel.

    3. Re:Mine was stolen by EnVisiCrypt · · Score: 1

      It was about 10 minutes. The laptop had an easy to open case.

      --


      *everything* is Orwellian to cats.
    4. Re:Mine was stolen by nochops · · Score: 1

      Tracking, no....wouldn't help.

      Locking the car door, probably.

      IMO you were asking for it. You can't trust anyone these days.

      --
      "A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
    5. Re:Mine was stolen by Mignon · · Score: 4, Funny
      I opened the case and found that my processor was stolen along with my two 64MB ram units. Someone had bothered to open it up, take the stuff, and close it again

      Was your laptop sitting in a bathtub full of ice with a note on the windshield telling you to call 911?

    6. Re:Mine was stolen by melloman · · Score: 1

      I have an old NEC that could support a processor twice it's original speed, and all but the hard drive could be removed in seconds. CPU is plug in, only a screw to hold the RAM cover, and the CPU can be yanked right after removing the cover. 10 minutes? In 10 the whole thing could be "up on blocks" with 6 minutes to spare, If you know the laptop. With a locked up system, those are about the only useful parts.

      --
      "There's no problem that the proper application of high explosives can't solve" Cpl Miller www.mindlayer.com
    7. Re:Mine was stolen by EnVisiCrypt · · Score: 1

      Actually it was stuffed full of pop-rocks and soda. The damn thing nearly killed me.

      --


      *everything* is Orwellian to cats.
    8. Re:Mine was stolen by rjamestaylor · · Score: 1

      Was it PIII-based? If so...maybe it could have been. (nah...)

      --
      -- @rjamestaylor on Ello
    9. Re:Mine was stolen by jbayes · · Score: 1

      There was a phone by my head and written on the mirror in red lipstick was, "Call 911 now or you will die!"

      --

      "It sure was strange to see something on Usenet about me that didn't involve Klingon gang rape." -- Wil Wheaton

  8. Yes by l33t+j03 · · Score: -1
    Way back in the day I was traveling with my laptop. I was dabbling in Linux at the time and it was a dual boot machine, set up to boot into Debian by default.

    A son of a bitch stole it in an airport but about 2 hours later security found it in a trash can. Apparently the thief booted it up, relaized that the operating system had rendered the machine useless for performing any worthwhile task and therefore had no resale value.

    Sometimes, even thieves get it right.

  9. Locking a bike by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You can ride a 50 lb bike away, you still have to carry a 50 lb laptop.

  10. Feeling much better now (Italian) by ForeignLanguageTroll · · Score: -1
    Cari amici,

    Sono spiacente che ho non potuto inviare recentemente tutti i messaggi. L' esperienza poche settimane non hanno non buone me. In primo luogo, le mie pozze del goldfish dell' animale domestico sono morto inatteso. Dopo parecchi giorni del dolore, ho scoperto che la mia applicazione da comparire su un episodio del fattore di timore era stata rifiutata. Appena poichè stavo circa per recuperare da questa tragedia, sono stato informato del mio medico che ho avuto bisogno d'un transplant immediato del thumbnail.

    poichè potete vedere, cose sono stati piuttosto di massima per me. Per ciascuno di voi che sono stati là sostenerli e confortare durante questi periodi disturbantesi, estendo il mio ringraziamento più profondo e più heartfelt. È a causa della gente come voi che ci è speranza tranquilla a sinistra per questo mondo diabolico e terribile. Senza voi tutti, non sarei oggi qui.

    E per quelli di voi che mai mi hanno offerto tutto il supporto, possono voi ferirsi in un certo ordinamento dell' agricoltura dell' incidente del macchinario e non sono costretti a mangiare la farina d'avena istante ed il riso fritto per il resto delle vostre vite naturali.

    L' estremità.

  11. 50 pounds? by Andrewkov · · Score: 2
    if you have a 50-pound laptop, it doesn't need a lock.

    If your laptop is 50 pounds, it's not really a laptop, is it?!

    1. Re:50 pounds? by joshjs · · Score: 1

      If your laptop is 50 pounds, it's not really a laptop, is it?!

      It is if you're Galactus, devourer of worlds. =)

    2. Re:50 pounds? by matt_wilts · · Score: 4, Funny

      If your laptop is 50 pounds, it's not really a laptop, is it?!

      You don't know how big his lap is.

    3. Re:50 pounds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, sitting around on your ass for a few years will make ANYTHING you life feel like 50lb.

  12. FIRST HETEROSEXUAL POST by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    INTRODUCTION

    Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her cum like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is the easiest way to cum with a man. You may have the littlest dick on the planet, but if you give great head, you will be appreciated as a fabulous lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect it these days - you might as well know what you're doing.

    First off, guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their dick into one are often reluctant to put their face "down there". For every guy who says he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know this, and it affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her. When a guy fingers a lady and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she knows this is her lucky day.

    What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer. (Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole body fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop - this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass, and rub a finger all around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash around inside too, if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you do. But don't put those soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that fun? And now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases...

    So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach. STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting? I strongly prefer to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into my inner recesses. Use your judgement, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach, up her thighs, until she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it... I also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling my inner thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation.

    POSITIONS

    If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about your going down on her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half-sitting. Lay down between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy laying or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also straddle your face, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her cunt, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment. And then there's 69...

    69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing her, without too much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's easy to short-change your partner. "It feels soooo good, I'm just gonna stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh". Get the picture? Some show of will-power is in order.

    69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter two are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down. Some women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives her wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this position. I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a sure choking position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep throat you, this is THE position. When her head is thrust back you can really slide your cock all the way down her throat. But don't forget what you're supposed to be doing!

    So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy lesson...

    THE CLITORIS

    Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally, anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just remember that this is pleasurable teasing, not the main event. I can't tell you how many guys have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that this was going to make me cum. They were wrong. Of course, with a little manual stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.

    Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.

    The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell what feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.

    THE TONGUE

    I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel terrific, so relax! I promise, you may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great, and I'd no sooner tell guys to "do it exactly like this" than I would tell every chef to follow the same recipe. But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here are a few techniques that you might like to try:

    Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing.
    Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other side.
    Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.
    Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it. Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.
    The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.

    With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her (see PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER below).
    Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
    Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.
    FINGERS
    Fingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across one's clitoris.

    Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.

    Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.

    An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.

    Fingers also do nice things to tight little butt holes, but that's a whole other story...

    ANAL PLAY

    This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't do it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and start wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel that you can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.

    Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and rub it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works too.) If that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still feels great. But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger pushed up their ass while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle, possibly even leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a little, or around in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're doing something right.

    It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your finger as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably thinking about what that would feel like around your dick, and it's something you should certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of the scope of this article, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a finger up her butt, she sure as hell won't want your big dick up there. Even if she does enjoy this sort of play, she may still be somewhat apprehensive about putting something so large up there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication (a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which is safe for condoms), relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle, approach. She'll certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or deeper. And remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around your cock, reach around and diddle that clit!

    As for anallingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to satisfy your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue rove as it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue inside her butt to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and around, you get the picture.

    One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in this regard can cause a horrendous infection.

    MENSTRUATION

    I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it thru intercourse, manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her, great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out the lights, and forget about it.

    PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

    I think variety is crucial. Some guy posted an article detailing a road map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do the unexpected; sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even even include your nose, or your chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more and more excited, pay more attention to her clitoris. When she's three breathes away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you are doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a sensitive spot.

    Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop. This is not easy unless you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you. Say, "Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna cum." Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth just briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this woman squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy the ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman cum.

    UUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! (or, I'M COMING!!!)

    Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by continuing the stimulation.

    How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but need about five minutes to recoup. Many women are so sensitive right after they cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable of cumming again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to cum repeatedly with continued stimulation. This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that is experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.

    GODI'MSOEXCITEDITFEELSGREATBUTIJUSTCAN'TCOME

    It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety, or just an inability to "let go". What do you do about it? The first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of her own home. If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework. There are two books on the subject that I know of: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach, and Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then tell her to read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!

    Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank: "Is there something different I can do?" Many women are shy about criticizing their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster. Ah... perfect.

    But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: selfconsciousness and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a "be here now" kind of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft music. Share a glass of port. (I said A glass - getting drunk will definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up comfortably with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on your face, or the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall. Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it up. Forget everything I said about asking her questions - just close your eyes and get into it. I know this can be a difficult and exhausting exercise, but she will be extravagantly thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before she's about to cum anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.

    For women who themselves feel that their cunts are dirty or distasteful, all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about their own genitals. They don't love "that part" of their body, and they can't believe that you would either. Yes, it is important to be clean. But clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste. The natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely more comfortable with your loving it too.

    How to Eat Pussy

    Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.

    Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.

    Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn't it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I've seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special.

    Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.

    Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.

    Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of it's own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.

    Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.

    Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.

    Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently.

    Tongue-fuck her. This feels define. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it's covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up tot he top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it's presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.

    Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'

    There's a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.

    But back to your pussy eating session...There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, curing or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.

    Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.

    She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one who's nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover.

    When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.

    If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She'd be yours as long as you wanted her.

    The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, make her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.

    Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.

    Female Oral Sex Techniques

    TASTE:

    In my experience, one of the main reasons that partners avoid female oral sex is due to a percieved or even experienced poor taste. While it is true that women run the range from pleasant (tasty!) to sour or uric tasting, there are easy steps to ensure that your partner will be tasting her sweetest.

    First and most obviously, a good vigorous shower will do much to neutralize the taste of your partner. In fact, oral sex in the shower, while not a favorite method of mine, has a completely neutral taste if you stick to the upper regions of your partner's sex. If your partner has not showered recently, or has physically exerted herself recently, her taste will be much stronger. This, however, can be a good thing!

    Secondly, foreplay will improve upon both the taste and the experience in general if your can get her juices flowing. I have never found an extremely aroused, wet woman to taste unpleasant. Quite the contrary!

    FOREPLAY:

    Do it! Take your time! Have fun! Experiment! A common male misunderstanding is that females are aroused most through physical contact. Not true. I have aroused women greatly simply by acting sexy. Tension is a wonderful tool, use it. If you can build tension to the point where the barest touch sends electric shivers through both of you, you can't lose! Similarly, even the best love techniques will not turn on a woman who isn't in the mood. (If you can get her in the mood, well then you're talking.)

    Take your time, explore your partner (there's a lot more there than nipples and a clitoris!), build tension, have fun.

    POSITIONS:

    There are two basic positions that I have found very versitile and succesful. For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs, put your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right - somewhat of an intimate hug. Now you should find your head situated conveniently and comfortably near the center of your attention.

    Less comfortable, but a bit wilder is the following. Lie on your back, prop a couple of pillows (or fold one over) under your head. Have your partner kneel facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position (IMHO) is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. (Yum) Versatility and comfort are reduced for the giver, so I only occasionally partake in this position.

    These are by no means the only positions. Again, experiment, have fun. If you can find a bed where your partner can lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, you're in luck. Now you can have her sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her sex.

    GEOGRAPHY:

    Woman are very different in some respects of their genitalia, but the major parts are the same. A woman's sex from the oral sex point of view consists of two sets of lips (outer and inner) that meet just below the vaginal opening and some variable distance above the clitoris; the vaginal opening (immediately above the nether meeting of above-mentioned lips), a smooth section of skin between the vaginal opening and the clitoris (I have no clue as to its technical name, hereafter it will be refered to as the "scav") and the clitoris and its surrounding folds.

    If you get the chance, explore your partner in a location with decent lighting. Use your hand to spread her sex and explore her, find out what's where and what's what. Like I said earlier, women are different. Especially the location and shape of the clitoris. It can be buried, protruding, surrounded by many folds of flesh, or hanging out it the open. The best method I have found for finding your partner's clitoris (If all else fails, ask!), is to place a finger at the very base of her sex and gently run it up her scav until you feel a slight bump. That's it.

    OK, ENOUGH OF THE DETAILS, NOW THE NITTY-GRITTY:

    So your partner is showered, excited and feeling sexy. It's the big moment, what to do? Don't simply dive in. Take your time, excite her. In my opinion, I can usually tell how good my partner is at oral sex by how she "goes down" on me. By "going down" I mean the process by which she goes from kising my lips to sucking oh-so-wonderfully on my sex.

    Depending on your partner, different methods of going down will work more effectively. If you've gotten to this point with your partner, you should have a fair idea of what she likes. Take advantage of that knowledge. One thing that I highly recommend however, is a sexy look. Sexy looks can make all the difference, and the best place to throw one in is as you're licking, sucking and kissing your way down her stomach stop, look up and smile devilishly.

    Unbutton your partners jean's, pull the tabs back and kiss her newly exposed flesh. Unzip her pants, pull the tabs back as far as they can go and place light, tender kisses on her abdomen and around the top of her panties. Watch it, some women are very ticklish here!

    (Note the above doesn't work so well if she doesn't have jeans on but you're all smart enough to figure it out...) Once you've removed everything but her panties, stop. You have a unique opportunity for further arousal. Kiss her legs and inner thighs with gentle kisses. Work your way up each leg and make a point of stopping at the line of her underwear. Kiss again along the top of her underwear, and along the other two borders.

    Now move to her cotton (silk? lace? latex?) covered sex. Plant firm, dry kisses through her underwear on her sex, low and right around the vaginal entrance works best for me. If your partner is really excited, often her underwear will be damp and will smell (pleasantly) of her sex.

    Removing the underwear is again a matter of choice. You know your partner best, I prefer either gently sliding it all the way off with my fingers, or pulling it part way down with my teeth first.

    DIRECT KISSING:

    It is not unusual for your partner's lips to be closed together. A very excited woman's lips may be slightly spread allready ("pouting"). Again, building tension can be accomplished by light kisses on either side of her sex as well as light blowing. (Do not inflate your partner! This can be very dangerous!!) Spreading her lips can be accomplished by placing your tongue first at the base of her sex, and then firmly running your tongue all the way up. Continue with a few long licks from the base of her sex all the way to the top past her clitoris. Vary the firmness of your tongue from hard and pointed to broad and soft.

    THE BIG "O":

    The best and most proven method of making your partner cum through oral sex is by repeated, rythmic stroking of her clitoris with your tongue. The tongue is uniquely suited for this purpose because of it's texture, versatility, and pliability. It is difficult (and tiring) to apply too much pressure to your partner's clitoris. Some women are much more sensitive than others however. Be receptive to any sharp gasps, you could be being too affectionate. If this is the case, move away from direct contact or adopt a gentler technique.

    Repeated, rythmic stroking can be accomplished in a variety of ways. I prefer either rapid, repeated verticle licks with a firm, pointed tongue, or planting your tongue firmly against your partner's clitoris and vigorously shaking your head back and forth. (Tiring, maybe. But it's worth it!) If you are having trouble finding the correct angle or method for rhythmically lingually carresing her clitoris, or if you want to try something fun and new:

    Toungue the abc's. No seriously! This is a great oral excercise on any part of the body. Toungue the abc's starting with lower case, and moving though upper case. (Heck, you could do the whole ANSI ASCII set if you'd like!) Be especially perceptive while you do this, vary your speed and watch for sharp intakes of breath - chances are you've hit the right angle. The abc's give a large variety of different strokes, so come back to this excersize as often as you'd like.

    A general rule of thumb (tongue?) is to start slow and pick up the pace as you go along. This is definately a general rule though, feel free to break it by varying your rhythm, both slowly and predictably as well as quickly and startlingly.

    OTHER FUN THINGS TO DO:

    Lick between the inner and outer lips; penetrate the vagina deeply (a much stronger, iron-like taste here); "tease" the entrance to her vagina with rapid pokes of your toungue at varying depths; don't forget your hands, often a woman will feel a need or ache for something inside of her while very aroused, oblige her with a finger or two. Both kissing and manually manipulating your partner is tough, anyone with succesful methods is welcome to pipe in.

    Talk to your partner, ask her what she likes. Experiment (if you can) with many different partners. What excites one woman a lot may not excite another as much, but may still be well worth trying. On the other hand, you may not notice a subtle pleasurable technique on one woman that can be easily learned on another. The better you know your parnter, the more effectively you can please her. Have fun!

    A FINAL NOTE:

    I tried to be a lot less pretentious than the male version of this article for a few reasons. The major one is that women are very different, the above suggestions may work wonderfully with one woman and so-so with another. Some women simply aren't responsive to oral sex due to strong moral constraints. Secondly, I am not an expert, though I love oral sex and have had the joy of pleasuring 10-20 women. Third, I am still young (18) and have a lot to learn.

    So feel free to comment on what you've read (men and women) and reply either over the net or to me personally. Thanks. Hope you found this helpfull and enjoy!

    Q. What is cunnilingus?

    Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it.

    What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina.

    This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.

    Q. How fast should I go?

    This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.

    Some women may like additional stimulation-- a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.

    Q. I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good.

    If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.

    As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.

    Q. What about cunnilingus during menstruation?

    Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.

    In my experience, when you try to explain to a man "in the moment" that he is doing oral sex (or sometimes anything) wrong, often the result is a disaster. You aren't into it, because you are trying to direct, and I guess for many guys it comes off as simply insulting. It isn't a very "supportive process," to borrow a friend's phraseology.

    Example: "No, not there,...there..." (Quizzical looks, no change in behavior.)

    Now, if you go looking for diagrams of women's vaginas, you will find yourself either looking at medical textbooks or special references, such as Our Bodies, Ourselves --- which, is presented as a "for women only" sort of thing. The original edition even gave this little rap to men about not buying it "for" women. Yeesh! Good book, but talk about "attitude." The new edition has thankfully dropped this negative proscription.

    You will sometimes NOT even find a clear picture of a woman's vagina in a general sex reference, such as the original The Joy of Sex. And you won't find a discussion of the parts of the vulva in most places. Now, go look for a picture of a man's penis that is reasonably edifying, and you'll find them all over. I only discovered this when I tried to look it up, and since I had never purchased Our Bodies, Ourselves, I was SOL (corrected that, recently). I however, and all women, have a ready-made "reference manual," provided we have gotten over the idea, or never had it, that looking at it will somehow be a "bad thing." Men don't have this reference manual readily "at hand," at least if their partner, if they have one, is not immediately available and cooperative.

    I have also read, and just reread, the Cunnilingus FAQ. Though it seemed excellent in terms of mood, style of approach, all the "beginning" stuff, I found when I applied her technique suggestions to me and my experience as a recipient, or my experience as a giver, it was a bit short on specifics. I am sure the described approach works very well for the woman who wrote it :), but I have a few things that seem unsaid.

    So, you have gone through all the beginning motions, taking a reasonable amount of time, and you are starting to "get down to business." First, PLEASE turn on the lights. Working in the dark is for experts at best. I am assuming you are sitting between her legs, facing her, or some variation on this. Now really LOOK at what is there. Where her hair is (or was, some people shave) is the mons veneris, the pubic mound. If she is not aroused, everything is likely, but not guaranteed, to be enclosed within the outer lips or labia majora, the edges of the pubic mound that comes together to enclose her vulva.

    As you spread this apart (she can bring her knees up and out, and/or you can use your hands), you will now see the inner folds of skin of the vulva, the inner lips or labia minora. These (usually) go all around the vaginal opening, and come in a variety of interesting and pleasing shapes and textures.

    As you observe that this encircles the vaginal opening, at the top of this you will find what might look like a button or might look like a very tiny penis, covered by an additional flap of skin. The flap of skin is the "hood" of the clitoris, and is very sensitive, as is the clitoris. This is the female equivalent of the male foreskin, though it is much looser than that corresponding organ.

    If you see what looks like a button underneath the hood, then what you are seeing is the glans of the clitoris, exactly equivalent to your own penis glans, or head of the penis. If you see a bit more than that, then there is probably some of the shaft of the clitoris extending in your partner. I stress this since most men would not be particularly enthused by a blow job that only gave attention to their penis head and extended not a centimeter below there. Many might find it annoying or even painful, depending on how rough their partner is with them and how sensitive they are to pain in that area. However, told "give attention to the clitoris," by fable and book, many brave soldiers run to do battle on the field of their woman's desires with their tongue, only to find their partner is telling them to please stop, it hurts, or it doesn't do anything for me. This may or may not be a comment on your technique, some women don't like oral sex. I would just like to suggest an approach that probably has a higher average success rate.

    The shaft of the clitoris is attached internally, back into the body of the woman. Pressure on the spot above the glans and underneath the hood will generally give you access to the part of the shaft equivalent to the part of your penis that is towards your body, whereas underneath the glans will give you access to the part of the shaft that is equivalent to the part of your penis that is away from your body. It is likely that the skin directly below the glans will be functionally equivalent to what is for most men the most sensitive and pleasurable part of the penis for play, and the inner vaginal lips are also usually quite sensitive "in a good way." Going down/in/back, you may or may not see the urethra, if you do this is the location of the grafenberg spot (g-spot), which we have all heard on this newsgroup is quite varied in response, some women love stimulation there, others do not. Try licking your tongue around there, if it is visible, and see, in the course of your "investigations."

    O.K., so now you have the picture. You did trim/file your nails first, didn't you? Play with your hands, play with your mouth, go all over, gently at first, increasing stimulation and focus as her body responds, and coming in "closer on" the clitoral area as she becomes more aroused. Lick, suck, point your tongue and apply pressure, use it like a "miniature penis" under the glans, penetrating her as you go, make little circles with your tongue, lick up and down along the skin in front of the clitoris, up and down the inner vaginal lips, etc. These are ideas, find some others, listen to her responses and comments. Remember to GO SLOW --- I believe impatience and expectations of quick response are "generally recognized as" the most common error in sexual encounters. Eventually the clitoris will become probably become erect, and stimulation that is "more direct" (like enclosing your mouth on the area and gently sucking) will stimulate a sufficient amount of the organ in question to be interesting. Watch what you are doing, and what happens, the entire area will become "engorged" and swollen if things are proceeding closer to orgasm.

    Some women may not, or may prefer not, to orgasm this way. Most will probably, however, enjoy the experience a great deal. Hopefully this "explanation and comparison" to the corresponding male body parts will allow you to not be (still) in the dark with the lights on.

    1. Re:FIRST HETEROSEXUAL POST by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Hey, habe ich eine Menge Respekt für alle Sie Halteseile, die wie Pussy essen, weil es zu wenig von Ihnen heraus dort gibt. Und ich bin nicht die einzige Frau, die dieses sagt. Ausserdem einige von, das Ihnen tun Halteseile, die ihm den alten Hochschulversuch geben, nicht zu gut, so möglicherweise diese kleine Lektion Ihnen heraus hilft. Wenn eine Frau einen Mann findet, der guten Kopf gibt, wird ihr ein Schatz gefunden, den sie nicht ließ von zu schnell gehen geht. Dieses ist ein seltener Kunde und sie kennt ihn. Sie nicht sogar erklärt ihr, daß Freundinnen über ihn oder dieses Halteseil der populärste Mann in der Stadt werden. So erinnern Sie sich, können die meisten Halteseile bumsen und die, die sie normalerweise zufriedenstellend tun können, aber das Halteseil, das guten Kopf gibt, hat er ihn gebildet.

      Die meisten Frauen sind über ihre Körper schüchtern. Selbst wenn Sie die gorgeous Frau der Welt im Bett mit Ihnen haben, wird sie sich sorgen um, wie Sie ihren Körper mögen. Erklären Sie ihr, die er schön ist, erklären Sie ihr, welche Teile Sie gut mögen, erklären Sie ihr, daß alles, aber sie veranlassen, Ihnen zu vertrauen genug ließ Sie unten zwischen ihren Beinen.

      Jetzt stoppen Sie und betrachten Sie, was Sie sehen. Schön, nicht ist er? Es gibt nichts, das eine Frau einzigartiger als ihr Pussy bildet. Ich weiß. Ich habe viel von ihnen gesehen. Sie kommen in alle unterschiedlichen Größen, in Farben und in Formen; einige werden nach innen wie das cunnie eines kleinen Mädchens verstaut und einige haben starke luscious Lippen, die herauskommen, Sie zu grüßen. Einige werden in den Bürsten des Pelzes genistet und andere werden mit transparenten Fäserchen bedeckt. Schätzen Sie einzigartige Qualitäten Ihrer Frau und erklären Sie ihr, was sie speziell bildet.

      Frauen sind ziemlich viel mündlicher als Männer, besonders während des Liebe-Bildens. Sie reagieren auch mehr auf mündliche Liebe, die bedeutet, mehr, die sprechen Sie mit ihr, es, sie weg zu erhalten das einfacher ist. Die so ganze Zeit sind Sie petting streichend und ihren schönen Pussy, Gespräch zu ihr über es.

      Betrachten Sie es jetzt wieder. Ziehen Sie leicht die Lippen auseinander und betrachten Sie ihre inneren Lippen, lecken sie sogar, wenn Sie zu wünschen. Verbreiten Sie jetzt die Oberseiten ihres Pussy oben, bis Sie ihr clit finden können. Frauen haben clits in allen unterschiedlichen Größen, gerade wie, das Ihnen, haben Halteseile unterschiedliche sortierte Hahnen. Es bedeutet eine Sache nicht bis zu ihrer Kapazität für Orgasmus. Alles, das es bedeutet, ist mehr von ihr wird versteckt unter ihr foreskin.

      Wann immer Sie den Pussy einer Frau berühren, überprüfen Sie, daß Ihr Finger naß ist. Sie können ihn lecken oder ihn mit Säften aus ihr heraus anfeuchten. Seien Sie, auf jeden Fall, ihn vor Ihnen naßzumachen berühren ihr clit sicher, weil es keine Säfte von ihm soll besitzen hat und es extrem empfindlich ist. Ihr Finger haftet an ihm, wenn er und dieses Hurts trocken ist. Aber Sie möchten nicht ihr clit irgendwie berühren. Sie müssen bis zu dem arbeiten. Bevor sie geweckt wird, ist ihr clit zu empfindlich angefaßt zu werden.

      Nähern Sie sich ihrem Pussy langsam. Frauen, sogar so als Männer, zu neckende Liebe. Das innere Teil ihres Schenkels ist ihr zartester Punkt. Lecken Sie es, küssen Sie es, bilden Sie Designs auf ihm mit der Spitze Ihrer Zunge. Kommen Sie gefährlich nah an ihrem Pussy, schwimmen Sie dann weg. Lassen Sie sie ihn vorwegnehmen.

      Lecken Sie jetzt den Knick, in dem ihr Bein ihren Pussy verbindet. Nuzzle Ihr Gesicht in ihren Busch. Bürsten Sie Ihre Lippen über ihrem Schlitz, ohne auf ihm herunterzudrücken zum weiter Aufregen sie. Nachdem Sie dies zum Punkt, in dem Ihre Dame oben von ihrem Sitz und sie Kompensations ist, belasten, um mehr von Ihnen näeher an ihr zu erhalten getan haben, dann setzen Sie Ihre Lippen, die auf ihren Schlitz recht sind.

      Küssen Sie sie leicht dann stark. Jetzt benutzen Sie Ihre Zunge, um ihre Pussylippen zu trennen und wenn sie erschließt, lassen Sie Ihre Zunge auf und ab zwischen die Schichten des Pussyfleisches laufen. Verbreiten Sie leicht ihre Beine mehr mit Ihren Händen. Alles, das Sie mit einer Frau tun, Sie im BegriffSIND, um zu essen müssen leicht getan werden.

      Zunge-bumsen Sie sie. Dieses glaubt zu definieren. Es neckt auch die Hölle aus ihr heraus, weil jetzt sie etwas Aufmerksamkeit wünscht, die zu ihrem clit gegeben wird. Überprüfen Sie es heraus. Sehen Sie, wenn ihr clit stark genug aus ihm heraus hat spähen gemußt bedeckt. Wenn so, lecken Sie es. Wenn Sie nicht es sehen können, konnte es Sie noch darunterliegend warten. Holen Sie so Ihre Zunge herauf tot, das er von ihrem Schlitz übersteigt und glauben Sie für ihr clit. Sie können es kaum erfahren sind Anwesenheit. Aber, selbst wenn Sie nicht der kleinen Perle glauben können, können Sie es Aufstieg bilden, indem Sie die Haut lecken, die Abdeckungen es. Lecken Sie stark jetzt und betätigen Sie sich in ihre Haut.

      Ziehen Sie leicht die Pussylippen weg und schlagen Sie Ihre Zunge gegen das clit, die bedeckte Haube oder nicht. Tun Sie dies schnell. Dieses sollte ihr Beine shudder veranlassen. Wenn Sie abfragen, steht sie dort in Richtung zum Orgasmus auf, bildet Ihre Lippen in ein O und nimmt das clit in Ihre Öffnung. Beginnen Sie, leicht zu saugen und Gesicht Ihrer Dame für ihre Reaktion aufzupassen. Wenn sie sie anfassen kann, fangen Sie an, stark zu saugen. Wenn sie sie gräbt, saugen Sie sogar stark. Gehen Sie mit ihr. Wenn sie ihre Pelvis in die Luft mit der Spannung ihres steigenden Orgasmus anhebt, bewegen Sie mit ihr, kämpfen sie nicht. Hängen Sie an und halten Sie Ihre heiße Öffnung auf ihrem clit. Lassen Sie nicht gehen. Das ist, was sie auch sagen wird: ' stoppen Sie nicht. Nicht überhaupt stoppen Sie!',

      Es gibt einen Grund für den, die meisten Männer stoppen zu früh. Gerade wie mit dem saugenden Hahn, ist dieses etwas wert ungefähr erlernen und wert das Lernen, gut zu tun. Ich kenne einen Mann, der ein lousy Bumsen ist, einfach lousy, aber er kann Pussy essen, wie niemand, das ich weiß und er nie Mühe hat, ein Datum zu erhalten. Mädchen fallen ganz über ihn.

      Aber zurück zu Ihrem Pussyessenlernabschnitt... gibt es eine andere Sache, die Sie tun können, um Vergnügen Ihrer Frau zu verstärken. Sie können Finger-bumsen sie, während sie Ihre clit-Leckentalente genießt. Vor, kurierend oder nachher. Sie mag es wirklich. Zusätzlich zu den erogenous Zonen, die ihr clit umgeben, hat eine Frau einen anderen extrem empfindlichen Bereich am Dach ihrer Vagina. Reiben gegen, dieses ist, was Sie oben wenn Sie sie fucking sind. Gut da Ihr Hahn von Ihrer Öffnung hübsches weit weg ist, müssen Ihre Finger den Fucking tun.

      Finger des Nehmens zwei. Eins ist zu dünn und drei ist zu breit und kann nicht genug tief folglich erhalten. Überprüfen Sie, daß sie naß sind, also Sie nicht ihre Haut reizen. Schieben Sie sie nach innen, langsam anfangs, dann wenig schneller. Bumsen Sie sie mit ihnen rhythmisch. Beschleunigen Sie, nur wenn sie. Hören Sie zu ihrer Atmung.

      Sie informiert Sie was zu tun. Wenn Sie ihr clit und Finger-finger-fucking sie gleichzeitig saugen, geben Sie ihr weit mehr Anregung, als Sie sie mit Ihrem alleinHahn geben würden. So können Sie auf ihm zählen, daß sie auf diesem hoch erhält. Wenn es irgendeinen Zweifel gibt, überprüfen Sie sie heraus auf Symptome. Jede Frau ist einzigartig. Sie können ein haben, wer Nippel erhalten stark ist, wenn sie aufgeregt wird, oder nur wenn sie einen Orgasmus hat. Ihr Mädchen konnte Rot spülen oder tremble anfangen. Beginnen Sie zu wissen, daß ihre Symptome und Sie ein empfindlicherer Geliebter sind.

      Wenn sie beginnt, einen Orgasmus, für sakes des Himmels zu haben, lassen Sie nicht von diesem clit gehen. Hängen Sie innen dort während der Dauer. Wenn sie beginnt, unten vom ersten Orgasmus zu kommen, betätigen Sie Ihre Zunge entlang der Unterseite des clit und Ihre Lippen lassen, welche die Oberseite umfassen. Verschieben Sie Ihre Zunge in und aus ihrem Cunt. Wenn Ihre Finger nach innen sind, verschieben Sie sie wenig auch, leicht zwar, Sachen sind extrem empfindlich gerade jetzt.

      Wenn Sie Ihre Karten nach rechts spielen, erhalten Sie einigen mehrfachen Orgasmen auf diese Weise. Eine Frau bleibt eine volle Stunde lang aufgeregt, nachdem ihr ein Orgasmus gehabt ist. Verwirklichen Sie die volle Auswirkung dieser Informationen? Das Potential? Eine Frau wurde bei 56 Orgasmen bei sitzendem einem abgestoppt. Wissen Sie, was Effekt Sie auf einer Frau haben würden, die Sie 56 Orgasmen zu gaben? Sie würde lange Ihre so sein, wie Sie sie wünschten.

      Der letzte Rat, den ich für Sie habe, ist dieser: Nachdem Sie sie haben kommen lassen, bilden Sie sie Ihren Sklaven, indem Sie ihr den besten Kopf, den geben sie überhaupt gehabt wird, lassen Sie nicht ihr alleingerades noch. Sprechen Sie mit ihr, streichen Sie ihren Körper, streicheln Sie ihre Brüste. Halten Sie, Liebe ruhig zu bilden ihr, bis sie vollständig unten gekommen ist. Ein Mann kann und gehen, im gleichen Atem zu schlafen und kein remorse, keine Richtung zu glauben weg erhalten des Verlustes. Aber eine Frau durch Natur benötigt irgendeine Empfindlichkeit von ihrem Geliebten in jenen ersten Momenten nach Geschlecht.

      Mundgeschlecht kann die aufregendsten sexuellen Erfahrungen sein, die Sie haben können. Aber es ist, was Sie es bilden. Dauern Sie Ihre Zeit, üben Sie häufig, Bezahlungsaufmerksamkeit zu den Signalen Ihres Geliebten, und am allermeisten, amüsieren Sie sich.

  13. Useless by CrazyDwarf · · Score: 1

    If I'm in public somewhere, I'm not leaving my laptop unattended.
    I should probably be surprised that people would do this,
    but I work Tech Support, so I deal with people
    all day, and know how stupid they are.

    --
    It's easy to stand out when the general level of competence is so low.
    1. Re:Useless by Sorthum · · Score: 1

      As I see things, if I leave my laptop unattended in a position where an anti theft device would work (i.e., not in my home) then I deserve to have it stolen. I paid for the damned thing-- I know what it's worth. Why would I leave it sitting out unprotected? They're worth a lot more than a stolen mobile...

    2. Re:Useless by tzanger · · Score: 2

      If I'm in public somewhere, I'm not leaving my laptop unattended.

      actually what I do whenever I get a new laptop (this is my third, none stolen, just upgrades) is to remove the hard drive retaining screw; the drive is usually in some kind of carrier that is connected to the rest of the laptop by a single screw. Whenever I go somewhere and I don't want to lug the laptop with me, I pop out the drive. Laptops are easily replaced and are insurable. Backups I have but it's still a pain in the ass and if I'm out for a few days the work isn't backed up. The data loss is far worse than the actual theft.

  14. michael: by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 4, Funny

    50-pound computers are what we here in the industry call "desktops".

    - A.P.

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
    1. Re:michael: by Trepalium · · Score: 2, Funny

      50-pound computers are what most of us call "servers". Even most loaded desktop computers don't weigh 50 lbs.

      --
      I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
    2. Re:michael: by Masem · · Score: 1

      ...such as the computer the boys recieved from a neighbor in a recent episode of Malcolm in the Middle. "*That's* a laptop?" P

      --
      "Pinky, you've left the lens cap of your mind on again." - P&TB
      "I can see my house from here!" - ST:
    3. Re:michael: by Stonehand · · Score: 1

      Or, "big iron"...

      --
      Only the dead have seen the end of war.
    4. Re:michael: by markmoss · · Score: 2

      Although I do have an old 21" monitor that weighs 70 pounds.

    5. Re:michael: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, real servers weigh at least 200 pounds, maybe more.

    6. Re:michael: by linzeal · · Score: 1

      Real computers require 240 volt and iron casters.

    7. Re:michael: by Dwonis · · Score: 1

      Core memory!

    8. Re:michael: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My desktop easily weighs at least 40 pounds. The monitor is another 40 pounds. My laptop weighs about 2 pounds.

      Our disk arrays at work take two people to lift, and our servers (IBM S85s) are delivered by crews, early in the morning.

  15. The Information can be worth more than the laptop by Schlemphfer · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Pogue's article had some great things to say about the technology of tracking down stolen laptops. It would have been good to make the point that, many times, the information on the laptop is worth far more than the laptop itself.

    About 18 months ago Qualcomm's CEO had his laptop swiped during a conference. The laptop was thought to have all kinds of trade secrets. Losing a several-thousand dollar laptop was a trivial loss for the CEO. But shareholders were rightfully worried that Qualcomm's strategies for implementing CDMA rollout were now in the hands of rivals. To my knowledge, they never got the laptop back. And the theft was, I suspect, for the hard drive's trade secrets rather than for the actual laptop.

    --
    I'm generally "Interesting," "Insightful," and even "Funny" here. What the hell happens to me at parties?
  16. Weight... by jdreed1024 · · Score: 1
    "Laptops are a lot like bicycles: if you have a 50-pound laptop, it doesn't need a lock. "

    Well, I'm glad that I kept my Mac Portable, which weighs in at 21 pounds. Let's see some schmoe try to steal that...

    --
    There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
  17. would be great if.... by SGDarkKnight · · Score: 2, Interesting

    they could implement something like this into laptop security. I agree it would probably be a bit excessive, but you know as well as I do, that nobody else would ever try to take your notebook once word got around. Check out the video clip of it in action... I'm sure most if you /.er's out there have already seen it in action.

    --

    ...A no smoking section in a restaurant is like having a no peeing section in a swimming pool...
  18. 50 pound bikes by SlashDread · · Score: 1

    Id lock my 50 pound bike in Amsterdam if I was you.

    Gr /Dread

  19. deterrants by Alien54 · · Score: 4, Interesting
    The pcmcia card they mentioned is more of a deterrent than anything else. It is trivial to bypass, but is okay for a public place like a restaurant.

    this statistic was startling:

    As many as 30 percent of the stolen laptops are gone for good because they are never used to go online after being stolen.

    Never mind that If I had a system like that I would just wipe the drive to begin with. Of course, common crooks may not bother.

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
    1. Re:deterrants by AlexDeGruven · · Score: 1

      It's actually the same type of problems that people have recovering some stolen cars. A lot of times, they're parted out completely within a matter of hours, all that's left if/when it's finally recovered is an empty frame/unibody.

      I'm sure most people who steal laptops are more interested in selling parts than whole systems. It's much easier to track the machine in a coherent body than it would be a Hard drive here, and memory chip here.

      --
      Randal Graves says: I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class... Especially since I rule.
  20. NYT by ayeco · · Score: 1

    great, another NYTimes article.

    1. Re:NYT by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      maybe they should start a subscription scram to.

  21. use some wels hooks by dunkelfalke · · Score: 1

    or very sharp nails.

    a primitive but very effective anti-thefth device

    --
    "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" -- David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
  22. My Solution by KingKire64 · · Score: 1

    I just Chain up a SilverBack Gorilla to my laptop. Ive never had a problem getting my laptop back.

    --
    "All I can tell the "lesser of two evils" folks is that if they keep voting for evil, they'll keep getting evil."-Lp.org
    1. Re:My Solution by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll
      KingKire64 writes:
      I just Chain up a SilverBack Gorilla to my laptop. Ive never had a problem getting my laptop back.
      Fine and dandy, but Gorillas are an endangered species. I suggest that you chain a nigger to your laptop instead.
      Although not as intelligent as a Gorilla, niggers are more plentiful and just as savage.
  23. Fag Friday by DonkeyHote · · Score: -1

    Today someone installed Linux on my laptop, does that make me gay? and what can I do to cleanse myself of this so-called "original sin"?

    1. Re:Fag Friday by MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM · · Score: -1

      I'm afraid there's nothing you can do. You are gay for life. Either kill that someone as a revenge, or start to hang out in /. compound, hardcore homosexual sex may ensues.

  24. Where is the tracking device? by Carnivore24 · · Score: 0

    I dont feel like registering at NY Times, but lets see, the harddrive, memory, battery, cd drive, floppy drive, and motherboard can all be removed. Im thinking maybe a tracking device can be placed behind the screen or somewhere underneath the keyboard. Maybe it can be burned in behind the power on switch and if it gets stolen and a thief tries to mess with it it screws the laptop up and makes it useless.

  25. 50 pounds? by TheGreenLantern · · Score: 2

    Christ my monitor doesn't weigh 50 pounds. How's the gravity up there at the Geek Compound anyway?

    --

    It hurts when I pee.
  26. Mirror by Alan_Thicke · · Score: -1
    --
    Alan Thicke's Journal
    My Slashdot ads say "
  27. Dude! by Romancer · · Score: 4, Interesting

    That has got to be the most easily comprimised password method ever!

    you: Tilt left - right - back to arm laptop, and leave...

    you : come back and tilt laptop right - back - left

    Person outside looking in sees you do this and comes in and takes your laptop, disarming it with your (super secret password tilt combo) while you feel secure cause you spent a hundred dollars on a security device.

    what a joke, that method shouldn't even exist, too many stupid users are gonna use it.

    --


    ) Human Kind Vs Human Creation
    ) It'd be interesting to see how many humans would survive to serve us.
    1. Re:Dude! by Future+Linux-Guru · · Score: 1

      You have two other methods of locking it...clicking a desktop button or using a taskbar menu item (windows)

      What do you do for Linux laptops?

    2. Re:Dude! by Romancer · · Score: 2

      you should only have two!

      The third is utterly insane to have as an option for a security device.
      why not just have a voice password that you have to say in a loud articulate voice from five feet away.

      --


      ) Human Kind Vs Human Creation
      ) It'd be interesting to see how many humans would survive to serve us.
    3. Re:Dude! by EricLivingston · · Score: 5, Interesting
      Actually, I've tried it and it's EXTREMELY hard to duplicate the motions - the accelerometer inside is incredibly sensitive. I sat across from the CEO of Caveo who, right in front of me, armed the mechanism with a couple of tilts - a very simple motion password. We watched him do it a couple of times. I, and my companion, tried to duplicate that motion for several minutes and completely failed. You really don't have any idea how hard it is to duplicate exactly the motions of another's arms until you try.

      The sensitivity of the angles you tilt, for instance, is something like within 1 degree, and the acceleration parameters are also extremely precise (so, for instance, if you lift the laptop an inch or two while also tilting it, this counts).

      Surprisingly, it's actually NOT that difficult to duplicate your own motions - muscle memory is far more precise than I ever thought.

      But, really, until you try it you can't imagine how difficult it really it to duplicate even simple motion passwords.

      --
      Please Rate my comment (and help support Fre
    4. Re:Dude! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Funny thing was, he didn't have one of those anti-theft cards. He just wanted to watch two morons sit around shaking a laptop.

    5. Re:Dude! by EricLivingston · · Score: 2

      Oh, he had it - you could tell from the siren that went off after a few seconds of not getting the motions right... it was fairly obvious when you didn't duplicate his motions correctly. :)

      --
      Please Rate my comment (and help support Fre
    6. Re:Dude! by ccwaterz · · Score: 1

      Do you unlock the invincibility cheat if you get it right?

    7. Re:Dude! by hagardtroll · · Score: 1

      Great. We'll all look like Ballmer doing the monkey dance to get our laptops working.

    8. Re:Dude! by heinzkeinz · · Score: 1

      Of course, this means that I will no longer be able to use my laptop when I am drunk. The plus side of this is no more drunken e-mails to friends, girlfriends, co-workers, professors, etc.

    9. Re:Dude! by rjamestaylor · · Score: 1
      What do you do for Linux laptops?

      Leave it running in Console mode. Nobody will touch it.

      --
      -- @rjamestaylor on Ello
    10. Re:Dude! by Tribe · · Score: 1

      Yes but how easy was it for him to unlock the thing afterwards?

    11. Re:Dude! by Big+Diluth · · Score: 2, Funny
      Then you realized you were holding an Etch A Sketch.


      Gosh, I'll bet you felt silly!

    12. Re:Dude! by EricLivingston · · Score: 2

      It was actually pretty easy. He let us lock it ourselves with our own motion passwords, and after I locked it with mine, it only took a couple of tries to unlock it again, even though none of the others in the room could duplicate my motions. I figured that with a few practice runs I would be able to reliably unlock it on the first try.

      --
      Please Rate my comment (and help support Fre
    13. Re:Dude! by daveking · · Score: 1

      So why not just use mouse motion then?

      --
      ------DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE------
    14. Re:Dude! by Dwonis · · Score: 2
      What do you do for Linux laptops?

      A desktop button that calls cdetach, ssh-add -D, and xscreensaver.

  28. A couple of minutes by wiredog · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have this vision of a stripped laptop on cinderblocks.

    1. Re:A couple of minutes by hummerman · · Score: 1

      If we all just had desktops then we wouldnt have to worry about labtops being stolen.

  29. I don't want to register for NY Times spam... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Can some one please post the text of the article?

  30. Lets see them steal this one :D by ZaneMcAuley · · Score: 1



    Osborne 1 computer :D

    http://www.obsoletecomputermuseum.org/osborne/os bo rne.jpg

    Ive seen devices that has a button on your belt buckle and a battery on the case, if it walks, press the button on the bat belt.

    ZAAAAAAAAAAAP. Watch them wriggle in a pile of piddle shuddering and slobbering :D

    --
    ----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
    1. Re:Lets see them steal this one :D by netringer · · Score: 1
      Osborne 1 computer :D http://www.obsoletecomputermuseum.org/osborne/osbo rne.jpg
      That was my first real PC! I still own two of them, and a Kaypro, and they still will boot faster than any current PC.

      The Osborne was the first "portable" (really, luggable) computer. The first with a built-in monitor (only 3" viewable, diagonally). The case was a from a portable sewing machine. But they weighed only 25 pounds!

      We didn't have or need anti-theft devices in those days. Most thieves didn't know what it was.
      --
      Ever dream you could fly? Get up from the Flight Sim. I Fly
    2. Re:Lets see them steal this one :D by King_TJ · · Score: 2

      Yep! I didn't own one when they were still being sold new, but I bought a used one (and got a broken, second one thrown in free, to use for spare parts) at a used computer store in town, not *too* long after Osborne went out of business.

      What's pretty funny now (but was actually pretty useful at the time!) is the screen magnifier accessory I got with mine. It was a big square magnifying glass on a metal rod that velcro'd to the top of the Osborne, so it sat about 6 inches in front of the tiny monitor display. Presto, more readable screen!

    3. Re:Lets see them steal this one :D by screwtheNSA · · Score: 0

      Hey, wait just a minute here!

      I have TWO Osbornes, both in perfect condition and in both model "formats"...ribbon cable to keyboard and the newer coiled cord. Both have dual 360K floppies, 3" B/W CRT and a 300 baud modem.

      I am saving these for my posterity, or for the cash they'll garner being in perfect condition.

      Either way, I'll not market these until the "demand" for them reaches the multi-kilobuck level.

      Damn, I would LOVE to have a gunfight with a gun toting crook, I bet he can't do a clean double tap to the head in less than .34 seconds like I do at the club!

      Race guns ARE the way to beat theft!

      I carry one on every trip to the "big city" and feel safer than having a dumb cellphone in my pocket, not to mention that my trigger finger is faster at the draw than speed dial, and 100% faster and safer then having 20 stupid nazis show up with blank stares.

      COP: Let's diallo that S.O.B first, then we'll find out who did what.....someday!

      --
      206.39.38.2, DDN-BLK-36, DOD NET INFO CENTER. 800.365.3642 206.36.0.0-206.39.255.255 NET RANGE.
  31. Hard drive wiper by cybergibbons · · Score: 2, Funny

    One of the big issues here is the things that are on the hard drive rather than the actual physical laptop.

    I remember a few years back when me and a few friends were continuously scared of getting a knock on the door from the authorities, we had ideas to develop a device to entirely wipe the hard drive.

    Initially, this consisted of a coil of thick guage copper wire around the HD, which was in turn connected across the mains supply. Guaranteed to fuck over the HD big time.

    Problem was, that we never had the guts to put one round our main HD, because we knew that whatever mechanism used, it could get accidently turned on.

    We also worried about, if the police did turn up, how would we know whether it was a friendly visit or not, then wipe or HDs for no reason.

    All because of the anarchists cookbook and about 10 porn pictures.....

    1. Re:Hard drive wiper by chinton · · Score: 2
      I remember a few years back when me and a few friends were continuously scared of getting a knock on the door from the authorities, we had ideas to develop a device to entirely wipe the hard drive.

      We also worried about, if the police did turn up, how would we know whether it was a friendly visit or not, then wipe or HDs for no reason.

      If you are that paranoid, then you would never assume that the police were showing up for a "friendly visit"... :)

    2. Re:Hard drive wiper by cybergibbons · · Score: 1

      Trust me, in the situation, the police did turn up quite a lot for reasons more friendly than confiscating your hardware (which is probably about the worst thing that can happen to a geek).

    3. Re:Hard drive wiper by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you had any sense you would have done what I did: encrypt the entire filesystem with 256bit blowfish. And my password was over 60 chars long.

      P.S. There is no such thing as a "friendly" police visit.

    4. Re:Hard drive wiper by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Make it easier:

      Build your computer inside a microwave.

      Ding! Your hard drive is ready...

      Old $25 microwaves also make great storage units for those 100-spools of CDs you burnt with your private information.

    5. Re:Hard drive wiper by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's an interesting idea (perhaps I am paranoid...) but wouldn't the case of the hard drive shield the platters from microwaves? All the police need are the platter, all that controller/heads/actuators crap is just window dressing really.

    6. Re:Hard drive wiper by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
      Trust me, in the situation, the police did turn up quite a lot for reasons more friendly than confiscating your hardware (which is probably about the worst thing that can happen to a geek).
      Same here. Sometimes they would show up to drop off a case of beer, or just to hang out, share some pizza, and watch COPS on cable.

      The one time the Feds did show up to confiscate the hardware was long before I started hanging out there...

  32. The end of laptop theft as we know it! by dipfan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Excellent news ... as we know, audio alarms and tracking bugs have totally eliminated theft in the automobile industry, and I imagine these devices will do the same for laptops.

    1. Re:The end of laptop theft as we know it! by SGDarkKnight · · Score: 0

      automobile theft has been totally eliminated? what planet are you from? no, seriosly, where do you live because I know that where I'm from, cars still get stolen on a regular basis; even ones that have audio alarms and tracking devices.

      --

      ...A no smoking section in a restaurant is like having a no peeing section in a swimming pool...
    2. Re:The end of laptop theft as we know it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you humor impaired because you are Canadian or because you are reading Slashdot?

  33. $lashdot is dying! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    $lashdot confirms that it's dying.


    There are about 200 comments per article. Out of those comments there are at least 100 trolls, flamebaits and offtopics. Sometimes the number of normal to mod-down replies ratio is 2:10.


    The amount of advertising on $lashdot increased dramatically while the quality of articles and the general atmosphere just stinks! No one is going to subscribe to $lashdot just because they can't follow the rules of english grammar and spelling.


    $lashdot shows that it's dying.

  34. Don't want to create a login for NYTimes? by JohnSalis · · Score: 1

    User Name = aslashdotuser
    password = slashdot

  35. Can it run Linux though by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Does anyone know if I can hack this Laptop alarm to run Linux? Right now I am running Linux on my toaster, my microwave and my ten speed bike. I was running it on my toilet, but it kept having problems with my log files. Anyways, let me know!

  36. Insturance by swagr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    True story:
    I was working in a corner of a cafe late at night when I guy came in, sat beside me, stuck a knife to my side and said "put the laptop in the bag".

    My laptop was locked to the table, but I gladly unlocked it in return for my safety.

    Anyway, insurance covered the loss.

    Also, I had a removable hard drive with all my work on it, and I pleaded with the thief to let me keep it, and he let me!

    So ultimately, I ended up with a newer machine, and a spare drive, and the thief ended up with a password protected laptop. Just goes to show, crime doesn't pay.

    --

    -... --- .-. . -.. ..--..
    1. Re:Insturance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic
      at night when a guy came in, sat beside me, stuck a knife to my side

      "A guy"? I think you misspelled nigger.

      Hope this helps.

    2. Re:Insturance by Rogerborg · · Score: 3, Interesting
      • I was working in a corner of a cafe late at night when I guy came in, sat beside me, stuck a knife to my side and said "put the laptop in the bag".

      I'll top that. Friend of mine came out of the University about 1am, and locked up behind him. Three guys grabbed him, showed him the knife and said "Play nice". They hailed a cab, put him in it, and said "Take us to your apartment," which he did. They then took him up, sat him on the floor, and carefully cleaned the place out, including his laptop (and the keys to the University), and made it utterly clear to him what would happen if he reported any of this. He said that it was a surreal experience, and the scariest thing was how utterly casual and bored they were, like they could not give a fuck how many people saw them, whether he shouted for help, or whether they knifed him or not. On the bright side, they did pay for the cab.

      • I ended up with a newer machine, and a spare drive, and the thief ended up with a password protected laptop. Just goes to show, crime doesn't pay

      Well, crime probably paid about $50, the price of a "good cosmetic condition, fails to boot" laptop on eBay, or at the local fence. And that's rather the point about laptop security: it doesn't matter how bad you make the proposition look, if someone decides to take your laptop (or cell phone, or anything else) they're going to do it. You will have to make the decision whether it's worth carrying something so valuable that you're prepared to risk your life protecting it. I think that you (and my friend) made the right decision. "Hero" tends to be a posthumous epithet, barring superior firepower and the opportunity and will to use it.

      The flipside of all this is: never, ever buy goods in a "too good to be true" deal from someone who's not keen to answer questions on where they came from, because more often that not, there's a victim in there somewhere. Are we all quite clear on that?

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    3. Re:Insturance by Drachemorder · · Score: 1
      "I pleaded with the thief to let me keep it, and he let me!"

      Wow. A considerate thief. Who would have imagined it?

    4. Re:Insturance by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      if you develop anti-social behaivoir these things wont happen.. if they start wlking in your direction look at the mboldy with the look of "go away you" on your face. when they start to si block with your foot and say loudly EXCUSE ME WHAT DO YOU WANT? this usually makes them leave as you just drew attention to yourself.

      granted these techniques dont make you friends, improve your image, or attract women (which are nothing but trouble anyways) but you keep your stuff.

      It also helps to be built like a football player and carry the all-around body attitude that you dont take crap from anyone. Basically dont look like a target and you wont be one.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    5. Re:Insturance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      What do expect from Niggers. All Niggers belong in cages.

    6. Re:Insturance by monkeydo · · Score: 2

      Your friend is full of it.

      --
      Si vis pacem, para bellum
      The only thing more annoying than a Libertarian is an (un|mis)informed Libertarian
    7. Re:Insturance by gnovos · · Score: 2

      True story:
      I was working in a corner of a cafe late at night when I guy came in, sat beside me, stuck a knife to my side and said "put the laptop in the bag".

      My laptop was locked to the table, but I gladly unlocked it in return for my safety.


      You, sir, are a terrorist enabler!

      --
      "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
    8. Re:Insturance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      how is this offtopic?

  37. Laptop security by Radnor · · Score: 2

    I recently purchased a $2500 laptop (Toshiba 5105-S607) to use between work and home, as well as when I'm away from home. It's pretty powerful, so it also serves as a desktop replacement for my home machine.

    I can't understand why people will pay thousands of dollars for a piece of machinery, then carlessly leave it at a table or seat while they go off and do something else. Even if it's company equipment, somebody paid for that laptop. I think these are the same people who leave their car running with the keys in the ignition while they drop off their 3-day-late movie at Blockbuster, or run into store to grab a coke. It never hurts to be overly cautious.

    When I'm at work, I lock the laptop down with one of those 4-digit combo locks attached to a metal wire. I know that any person with an interest in my $2500 machine can come along with a pair of wire cutters and hack off the wire. Having the lock on there is to basically keep the honest people honest. When I leave for lunch I take off the combo lock and lock the laptop up in my drawer. When I'm done for the day I pack everything up and take it back home with me.

    Noise alarms are just annoying and don't really help, much like car alarms. When's the last time you ran towards an alarm, thinking to help overpower a thief? If anything, like the article says, the thief would just chuck the alarm card, or better yet feign embarassment while pretending it really is his/her laptop.

    Simply paying attention to your surroundings and taking that extra step to secure your laptop will often work better than more expensive options, which unfortunately might cause people to let down their guard.

    1. Re:Laptop security by nazgul@somewhere.com · · Score: 1
      Noise alarms are just annoying and don't really help, much like car alarms. When's the last time you ran towards an alarm.

      I use a motion alarm on my laptop in environments where it makes sense. Libraries, cafes. Places where the laptop is unlikely to be jiggled, and where I'm within earshot of the laptop. Anywhere else I use a locking cable.

      BTW. Motion alarms can also double as an alarm for your bicycle :-).

    2. Re:Laptop security by sweet+reason · · Score: 1

      any person with an interest in my $2500 machine can come along with a pair of wire cutters and hack off the wire

      those wires are usually made of aircraft cable -- multi-stranded stainless steel. even with bolt cutters it takes a while to cut through; it doesn't just slice like the solid metal that wire and bolt cutters are made for.

      --
      Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -- A.E.
  38. Re: I wondered about that too.... by King_TJ · · Score: 2

    My guess was that either A) he's talking about an *old* laptop, back when memory was still expensive and some models used upgradable, socketed CPUs that were identical to the ones used in desktop systems, or B) someone with an identical model notebook (except a broken one) did a quick switch with his, and he didn't notice the different serial number.

  39. Tracking device? by joshjs · · Score: 1

    It'd be neat if there was an embeddable tracking device available, that you could put in your laptop in case it is stolen. Just call this tracking company up and ask them where it is.

    I suppose some might consider that a privacy issue, but I don't think it would be if it's a service you could pay for.

    Just a thought.

    1. Re:Tracking device? by wheany · · Score: 1

      On a site where the majority seems to think that a national ID-card is a privacy issue, how can this not be one?

    2. Re:Tracking device? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How about if the tracking device only turns on after a set amount of time.

      If you don't know how to reset the timer, the tracking device turns on, the company will see it and calls your cell phone (which is hopefully still with you) and tells you it's location.

  40. IBM by Detritus · · Score: 4, Informative

    IBM has the right idea. In some (all?) of their laptops, the main board and hard drive have passwords that can't be disabled or bypassed without major surgery. If you forget the password, tough, the subassembly must be replaced. If this was more common, laptops would be less attractive to thieves.

    --
    Mea navis aericumbens anguillis abundat
  41. Re:The Information can be worth more than the lapt by b0r0din · · Score: 1

    IBM has some pretty nice new security that allows for even the HDDs within laptops to be locked up, even when the HDDs are removed from the machine and put in another machine. Pretty nice for securing data, and would have been nice for the company to know that the data couldn't be accessed.

  42. Like a fish needs a laptop by diablochicken · · Score: 1

    You can't ride a 50-pund laptop. 'Nuff said.

  43. Here is something useful... by teamhasnoi · · Score: 1
    Here is a story on slashdot not long ago about a computer that was stolen and then recovered.

    With wireless being put on-chip, I don't think this will be a problem forever. There's too much marketing money at stake for companies not to know where you are all times.

    Use a pencil and paper! The handwriting recognition is great!

  44. This seems like it would be pretty useless by JohnSalis · · Score: 1

    I mean, if I were going to steal a laptop, I don't think I would have any problem ejecting and ditching the card. And unless I knew what information was on it (and knew it was useful) I don't think I would even think twice about reformatting the drive. And if I did want the data off of it, then I'm sure it's only a matter of time before there is a way to crack it.

    1. Re:This seems like it would be pretty useless by EricLivingston · · Score: 2
      One thing to keep in mind is that a very large proportion of laptop thefts occur inside office buildings. I've worked at a couple of companies that have laptops "wander off" each year. Locking them down is great, but isn't practical if your company is one in which folks are carrying around their machines to conference rooms and each others' offices to collaborate.

      The scenario is this (based on several true stories): Somebody leaves their laptop in a conference room/another's office/their own cube, unlocked. A well-dressed stranger, perhaps present for a "meeting" wanders up, picks up the laptop, and proceeds to simply walk out, looking very proper and professional with the laptop under his arm. Don't forget, this could easily be an employee of the company stealing another employee's machine (which also happens quite a bit).

      Caveo technology is great for this scenario. Clearly if the PC is emitting a piercing alarm (I've heard it, and it is truly loud), the fellow would attract attention if he were walking towards the door. Similarly, were he to eject and toss the card, it still screams, leading everyone to do a quick "Where's my laptop" check at a minimum, and alerts the receptionist/folks around the door to take note of who is leaving, etc.

      I think this solution fits best into a corporate setting as a deterrent to inside-job theft, rather than a deterrant to somebody reaching into your car and grabbing your notebook (though, you'd have to think that many less savvy crooks would drop a notebook pretty quick if it started to wail and really did turn heads).

      --
      Please Rate my comment (and help support Fre
    2. Re:This seems like it would be pretty useless by monkeydo · · Score: 2

      Similarly, were he to eject and toss the card, it still screams, leading everyone to do a quick "Where's my laptop" check at a minimum, and alerts the receptionist/folks around the door to take note of who is leaving, etc.

      Eject card, slide under nearest locked door. Or simply, eject card apply hammer. This thing is just a pcmcia card, how long will it chirp after I've broken it in two? If I'm an employee, I already know all the laptops have these cards so I might be able to eject/smash the card before it goes off.

      For this to be at all effective it would need to be built into the laptop and not easily removeable. Of all of the laptop anti-theft devices I think this is the most useless.

      --
      Si vis pacem, para bellum
      The only thing more annoying than a Libertarian is an (un|mis)informed Libertarian
    3. Re:This seems like it would be pretty useless by EricLivingston · · Score: 2
      But again, I don't think you're envisioning the scenario completely. Think about it - I go into a conference room with a hammer (because it's unlikely I'm gonna find something like a hammer in a conference room). I then eject a pcmcia card which immediately sets off a very loud alarm and proceed to smash the card to pieces on the conference room table.

      You're telling me this would be surreptitious way to sneak out with the laptop? That this would not attract undue attention?

      Frankly, I'm pretty sure that simply letting the alarm go off (in an office that might have a couple of false alarms every few months) would be less noticable than somebody actually beginning to smash the card right in the middle of the conference room/cubicle land space. Consider also that for an office used to the sound of the alarm and it's de-activation (again, from testing and sporadic false alarms), a very abrubt, unnatural end to the alarm would raise some eyebrows.

      Any of the options you talk about would attract a great deal of attention in any office building I've ever worked in (including somebody walking around with a blaring PCMCIA card looking for a locked door to stick it under). The way employees and well-dressed strangers wander off with others' laptops is by looking completely normal - totally blending in and thus remaining invisible. Any of the approaches you talk about above immediately point out the perpetrator as not following normal behavior patterns.

      --
      Please Rate my comment (and help support Fre
    4. Re:This seems like it would be pretty useless by ryanwright · · Score: 2

      Or simply, eject card apply hammer.

      Yeah, right. Like that won't attract the attention of the geek in the next cube:

      (shuffle shuffle) BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BANG! BEEPBEEPFUCKBEEPBANG! BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBANGBANGBANG! (silence)

      --
      -Ryan, with the unoriginal sig
  45. Useless... by ZeLonewolf · · Score: 2
    From the article:

    The Caveo card's execution is superb, but its concept isn't foolproof. For example, a thief (perhaps knowing how the card works) could simply eject the whining card and toss it into the Hudson.

    Wow...sounds really hard to get around! Once criminals know how the card works, it'd be quite easy to get around.
    --
    "If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards."
  46. Re:50 pounds? maybe by JiffyPop · · Score: 0, Redundant

    If your laptop is 50 pounds, it's not really a laptop, is it?!

    well i guess it all depends on the lap :P

  47. Remember FDISK by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    One thing to remember for you wanna-be hax0rz:

    -Flash the BIOS with a "known clean" bios dl'd from the manufacturer website.

    -fdisk /mbr

    --end transmission--

  48. Huh? by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 2

    Laptops are a lot like bicycles: if you have a 50-pound laptop, it doesn't need a lock.

    What the hell are you talking about? If I have a 50 pound bicycle, that's too heavy to ride away?

    And 50 pounds of laptop is too heavy to lug away? Maybe 200 pounds, but sheesh I could carry 50 pounds under my arm (I am bigger and stronger than average, though). Not to mention a 50 pound laptop would probably have a handle.

    Oh wait, it's michael posting the story. Never mind.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
    1. Re:Huh? by Hatter · · Score: 1

      If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year at college.

    2. Re:Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A 5 pound laptop would be too heavy for michael to pick up, let alone 50.

  49. Obtanium by airuck · · Score: 1

    "Laptops are a lot like bicycles: if you have a 50-pound laptop, it doesn't need a lock."

    On the contrary, they make great low power cluster nodes. Jusd leave yours here, I'll watch after it while your gone. ;-)

    --
    First entomology, then virology, and finally bioinformatics systems. Bugs follow me wherever I go.
  50. Motion unlock code? by geders · · Score: 1

    I know what my code would be...

    Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-A...ah, nevermind

    But seriously, if this thing was beeping, who wouldn't just pop that sucker out and toss it?

    1. Re:Motion unlock code? by CokeBear · · Score: 3, Funny

      I believe the code was actually "Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A-Start" (For unlimited lives in Contra on the original Nintendo.

      --
      Reality has a liberal bias
    2. Re:Motion unlock code? by geders · · Score: 2, Informative

      Actually it was up up down down left right left right a b a b start, and it gave 30 lives in Contra, but who's really counting?

    3. Re:Motion unlock code? by Drachemorder · · Score: 1

      It worked in a lot of other Konami games, too. I wouldn't be surprised to see a variation of it turn up as an "easter egg" in a new Konami game or two.

    4. Re:Motion unlock code? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      s/Nintendo/Colecovision/
      s/unlimited/30/

    5. Re:Motion unlock code? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      /mediator mode
      there was an infinate code, performed during the opening cinema and the 30 life code at the title screen, so you both are correct
      /end mediator mode

  51. Missing the point by mikosullivan · · Score: 3, Informative
    A lot of people commenting on how various anti-theft devices won't help because they can be worked around are missing the point. Security is done in layers. You implement a variety of security measures to improve the odds catching different situations. So, the car-alarm style card in the laptop won't stop the person who sat and watched you tilt in your "passtilt", but it will inhibit the many, many potential thieves who simply walk by and see an unattended laptop.

    The best laptop-theft-prevention is staying with the computer. That may be where wearable computers have their best value. A computer around your belt with a glasses-style display won't be easily forgotten.

    --
    Miko O'Sullivan
    1. Re:Missing the point by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      A computer around your belt with a glasses-style display won't be easily forgotten.

      Yeah, only to have the security at the airport fuck you up and break your shit... Nah, I'd rather have an airport crook jack my shit.

  52. Re:The Information can be worth more than the lapt by Observer · · Score: 2, Insightful
    To make the obvious point, any company that issues laptops to its staff that may be used to store sensistive information but which don't use encryption as a matter of course needs its IT organisation's head examined.

    I'm not saying that this is necessarily easy to achieve in a way that the average meeting-going PHB finds usable but which his 13yr daughter can't crack in 5 minutes, but reasonable levels of protection are feasible.

    Of course, you have to rely on the PHB not writing down pass-phrases and leaving them plainly visible.

  53. Oh Please - that's a CEO by Havokmon · · Score: 2
    Do you really think that a CEO does anything with a laptop other than carry it around looking technical?
    It wouldn't be the first time.

    Anyways, I'm sure he was most distraught about losing his OutLook contact list. Which, of course, isn't the company standard, but that's what the CEO wanted to use.

    --
    "I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
  54. One big problem with these solutions... by cnelzie · · Score: 1


    They are software solutions. They require the operating system to be operating and they rely on the stupidity of the thief.

    What happens when your stolen laptop is running a "secure" operating system? In the case of my laptop, I am dual-booting both Windows 2000 Professional and Red Hat Linux 7.2. I have both OSes password protected.

    The only method for the crooks to be able to use my machine would be to either replace the hard drive, fdisk the drives and reinstall an operating system. So, how would these wonderful software solutions work in my case? Oh, that's right, they won't ever work for me.

    These services are only good for those that are running insecure operating systems on their laptops, or "secure" operating systems that have no passwords and save the last user account information in the login scren.

    --
    .sig seperator
    --

    --
    If you ignore the other uses of a tool, does that make the tool less useful, or you less useful?
    1. Re:One big problem with these solutions... by gweihir · · Score: 2

      I have both OSes password protected. The only method for the crooks to be able to use my machine would be to either replace the hard drive, fdisk the drives and reinstall an operating system.

      Unfortunately not. Unless you have encrypted harddisk partitions (which is _not_ a password protection, but orders of magnitude more secure), a new linux root password can be set with a bootdisk, if neccessary after transplanding the harddisk to another computer.

      As a second step, there is a fine utility to reset a w2k admin password from Linux. I recently forgot my admin passwod for w2k on my Vaio, because I usually use Linux, and was able to set a new password with this utility.

      On the other hand if you actually mean encrypted partitions by "password protection", that is a very good means to protect your data from equipment theft.

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted and ignored otherwise.
  55. 50 lb bike lock by TangoCharlie · · Score: 1

    I used to use a nice shakle lock and a 50kg weight (110 lb) to lock my bike up... and one day, when my bike wasn't attached to it, some bugger stole my weight and lock. I can't imagine why... I still have both keys for the lock. I got a new shackle lock and from then on locked my bike up to a steel stair case. If someone wants your bike/lock/laptop/phone then there's not alot you can do. I always thought that a small remote controlled bomb might be a good solution.... someone steels your laptop and boom! ... Problem is it's probably your brother. Ooops!

    --
    return 0; }
    1. Re:50 lb bike lock by ergo98 · · Score: 1

      If someone wants your bike/lock/laptop/phone then there's not alot you can do.

      This is true for some thefts, but such professional type thefts are the minority. The majority of opportunists who see the laptop sitting in the backseat of the car with the easy to bust through window, or the ladies purse sitting on the floor where she can't see it. I use a "club" on my car not because I think it'll thwart the true pro (though I don't think a true pro would be targetting a car like mine...), but rather to thwart the far more common nighttime joyriding kids.

  56. How well does it work? by pcgamez · · Score: 1

    The article states that many companies software allows a piece of info (IP, phone number, etc) to be broadcasted once it goes online. What happens when you have software such as Zone Alarm which blocks all outgoing connections except those specified by the user? I could see that it would probably work if you had enables that program, but if you had not, the thief would see a ncie little message saying that it is trying to conenct once s/he got online.

    just something to consider

  57. Re:My Solution (hmmm...) by JiffyPop · · Score: 1

    I just Chain up a SilverBack Gorilla to my laptop. Ive never had a problem getting my laptop back.

    I'd believe you if you had said that you never had any problems with anyone _else_ getting your laptop, but I'm sure that you would have a problem getting your laptop from the back of a gorilla... That's the problem with having perfect security, it makes the product perfectly useless.

  58. Osbourne One by asv108 · · Score: 2

    Even my Osbourne One only weighs twenty-four pounds.

    1. Re:Osbourne One by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Maybe if you duct-tape two together to have the dual-processor option? 24 lb Osbourne + 24 lb Osbourne + 2 lb duct tape = 50 lb. Just imagine a beowulf cluster of those!

    2. Re:Osbourne One by _ph1ux_ · · Score: 2

      thats nothing compared to the osbourne II!!

    3. Re:Osbourne One by Andrewkov · · Score: 2

      Wow, comparing this to my Dell Latitude.. Look at how far we've come! Of course, the Dell laptop would be much easier to steal given it's smaller size. I think your Osborne 1 would be safe, you could even leave it lying around and nobody would touch it!

  59. Re: I wondered about that too.... by EnVisiCrypt · · Score: 1

    I thought about that, long after the fact. It occured to me that a swap could have occured, and I wouldn't have noticed. I was so agog that only the memory and cpu were missing to bother to look for other differences.

    --


    *everything* is Orwellian to cats.
  60. A few points by Rogerborg · · Score: 5, Interesting
    1. Having an old/crap/50lbs laptop will only stop it from being stolen if there's an obviously better one sitting right next to it.
    2. When the alarm goes off, what's the first thing the thief is going to do? Better hope that your laptop can survive being hurled violently to the ground.
    3. If the thief doesn't throw your laptop away, are you going to chase them? If you think possession of your laptop is more important than your health, perhaps you need to evaluate why you feel that you need to carry something so valuable that it might get you killed.
    4. (A little aside about human nature) According to my friends in IS, most corporate owned laptops are stolen by employees. (Pop quiz: How many corporations want to collect metrics that say how crooked their employees are? It's simply recorded as unspecified theft, or even depreciation) My current employer actually has a tacit policy that laptops pass down the food chain until they reach a dark, quiet corner, then they slip out the back door. It's actually less hassle and cost to the company than trying to protect them, or for that matter trying to sell them on. Also, having confidential files on a stolen laptop is a lot less embarassing for the IS guys than having them found on a "wiped for resale" laptop. Very cynically enterprising of them.

    If you don't want your laptop stolen, don't ever let it get into a situation where it can be stolen, because (people being what they are) it will be. And if you think you absolutely can't live without your laptop, do yourself a favour and evaluate what you actually mean by that. Chances are you'll find it's simply not true.

    --
    If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    1. Re:A few points by kin_korn_karn · · Score: 1, Troll

      If the thief doesn't throw your laptop away, are you going to chase them? If you think possession of your laptop is more important than your health, perhaps you need to evaluate why you feel that you need to carry something so valuable that it might get you killed.

      Thank you for pointing out what's wrong with our society. People place their personal well-being above that of the world.

      [can I have a karma point for that? please?]

    2. Re:A few points by J'raxis · · Score: 1

      Hes probably American; they train us to be sheep over here.

    3. Re:A few points by ph0rk · · Score: 1

      are you suggesting then that a hunk of plastic is more important than your life?

      I'm not saying i wouldn't chase down and jump someone running off with my laptop (assuming for a brief moment i moved more than 3 feet from it in public), but then i'm nucking futs. that coffee mug in my hand would probably convince him to release his grip after i applied it to the base of his/her skull, anyway.

      hell, this is north carolina, that crap is legal here.

      --
      semantics are everything!
    4. Re:A few points by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

      He's saying (if I may jump in) that allowing thieves to operate conveniently is, in a way, rewarding criminal behaviour. Jeffrey Snyder wrote about this.
      I think it applies most to the company cited that expects old laptops to disappear out the back door. That seems -very- stupid and unethical to me. Not only do they have a (albeit unwritten) -policy- of rewarding unethical behaviour. But they're losing a fantastic opportunity to reinforce the good employees.
      A former employer of mine (WRQ Seattle) used to have a semi regular employee sale where you'd "buy" items for basically what it cost them to pay someone to write the reciepts and make entries in the inventory system. Geeky employees walk off happy as a daisy with their 7 year old HP diskless workstations, your inventory system remains accurate and you don't end up giving stuff only to the employees who are bold enough to walk out the back door with it. Seems obviously a "goodthing"tm to me. bk425

    5. Re:A few points by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
      A former employer of mine (WRQ Seattle) used to have a semi regular employee sale where you'd "buy" items for basically what it cost them to pay someone to write the reciepts and make entries in the inventory system.

      It sounds like a good idea, but only seems to work for items of a very small value (books, for example).

      For larger items, somebody always takes advantage of the program, or something else happens to queer the deal or give some beancounter the impression that the program is not doing enough to "enhance shareholder value".

      At many major corporations, the company routinely gives away old office furniture, but refuses to give away (or even sell) old computer equipment to employees. Most of it goes to the trash compators.

  61. Only catch the buyer by paj1234 · · Score: 1

    >[When] the crook goes online [with your laptop]...

    Er, not likely. The crook nicked your laptop to raise cash. Probably for buying drugs. The laptop will go to a front man for cash. The only 'perp' likely to get caught is the unwitting buyer. The buyer would simply get a surprise call from the police, with the news that the laptop they bought isn't theirs any more.

    Still, you might get your laptop back... Unless the front man, or buyer, runs NoTrackerz (or something like that) on it before it is connected to the net. Or installs nice friendly Mandrake on it.

  62. All your laptops.... by Bill_the_Kid · · Score: 1

    Are belong to us??

    1. Re:All your laptops.... by Rhombus · · Score: 1

      What you say?

  63. security through weighing a lot by sk1tch · · Score: 0

    i use the same technique on my main box. its a good 50 pounds of stainless steel, rackmounted, 3'x2' sweet case. i dont have to worry much about anyone taking off with it at a lan party.

    --

    when I find myself you'll be the first to know.
  64. stolen laptop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is there ANY way to recover a laptop stolen even if you know it's nic's mac address or old IP?

  65. Piece of Cake? by jkeychan · · Score: 0

    The article mentions the following:

    "By piggybacking invisibly onto the Internet connection, it sends a critical piece of information to the tracking company: the laptop's Internet protocol (I.P.) address, the unique, multidigit number that identifies each computer on the Internet. Once the authorities are armed with that address, it's a piece of cake to subpoena the baddie's account records from the Internet service provider."

    This is total crap. Is it never a piece of cake to subpoena a user's account from an (most major) ISPs. If an ISP isn't going to respond to a security complaint (Road Runner, @Home, ahem) then they probably won't even talk to you until you convince the police to contact them, which isn't too easy either.

  66. Re:The Information can be worth more than the lapt by GTRacer · · Score: 2
    Of course, you have to rely on the PHB not writing down pass-phrases and leaving them plainly visible.

    You mean, like using the Marquee/Ticker screensaver and having the password scroll by after 15 minutes of inactivity?

    GTRacer
    - My password is "password"

    --
    Defending IP by destroying access to it? That makes sense, RIAA/MPAA. Go to the corner until you can play nice!
  67. It IS the information inside by imgaming.com · · Score: 1

    I go to school at SAIT in Calgary (www.sait.ab.ca) and they issue all their IT students brand new Toshiba Laptops.

    I managed to get a $0-Deductable thru my insurance company for like $35CDN, so I'm not really worried if it gets stolen.

    On the other side of the coin tho, if I lost my laptop, I lose all my assignments, work, and valuable movies I trade around the network :)

    As I just had my bike stolen recently (was locked to a cement fence post outside my house) I really know, that there is no absolute security. If they want your laptop, they're gonna get it.

  68. Re: I wondered about that too.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Except I can't picture a guy walking down the street with a broken laptop, looking into a window, and going "hmmm, that one looks better, *switch*"

  69. ahhh the classic contra code by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    actually its up up down down left right left right b a b a start

  70. WTF is PC PhoneHome? by jkujawa · · Score: 2

    PCPhoneHome has a product which claims to email "position data" regularly from your laptop (Any machine running Windows, MacOS, Linux, or PalmOS, they claim).

    Ignoring however they manage to provide this GPS in software, and how they manage to send email via a variety of possible transports (without being detectable at the OS level, they claim to run at a much lower level), they have one claim in particular that is mind-boggling:

    They have a couple of versions, the freeware version does everything above, and the $30 version claims that it can't be removed from a hard disk with "fdisk, low-level format, or format".

    I think they're pushing snake oil. If they actually do everything they claim to do, I'd love to find out how. Does anyone have any experience with them?

    1. Re:WTF is PC PhoneHome? by No+Such+Agency · · Score: 2

      Maybe it's spyware. Maybe it "phones home" to _them_ with all your web use stats, and e-mail addresses on your system, all the while supposedly "protecting" you. PC Phone Home, indeed...

      --
      Freedom: "I won't!"
    2. Re:WTF is PC PhoneHome? by gweihir · · Score: 2

      I commented on this recently in comp.sys.ibm-pc.storage.

      Actually they say nothing about low-level format on their site. Ordinary MS format for a hdd is a filesystem creation today, not like a floppy disk format. Usually only very little gets overwritten. Same with MS fdisk. Things are a little different with Linux.

      Basically they lie by omission. Doing a disk wipe (e.g. "cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda" in Linux) will likely remove their tool. But they never claim otherwise! They rely on people thinking that format = wipe, which is untrue for harddisks.

      The statement Cannot be removed by unauthorized parties even if they attempt to wipe the computer's hard drive using format or fdisk commands. is completely true, as a harddisk cannot be wiped with format or fdisk!

      Of course that is not the meaning most people will read into this.

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted and ignored otherwise.
  71. Protecting-A-Laptop-HOWTO by chrisatslashdot · · Score: 1

    1)Keep important data backed up
    2)Set a boot password
    3)Buy theft insurance
    4)Sleep easy

    --


    Simple people talk of people, better people talk of events, great people talk of ideas.
  72. data security?? by xmirvx · · Score: 1

    When a loptop is stolen, the real loss is generally the data on the laptop; not the laptop itself. Granted it would be nice to find out who stole your laptop so you can show up at their door with a baseball bat and beat them to a bloody pulp, but retrieving one's data seems to me to be the real value in any of these *anti-theft* devices. I've tried a couple, but the only one I could find with data retrieval functionality was lucira's solution (http://www.lucira.com). I also tried ztrace's solution (http://www.ztrace.com) but didn't encountr any data-retrieval functionality.

  73. and then... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    i took the card out and smashed it in .5 seconds.
    d0h, foiled again!!

  74. Slight problem by Beliskner · · Score: 2, Insightful

    When you intend to leave your laptop unattended, if only for a moment, you can "arm" it in any of several ways: by clicking a button, by using a taskbar menu or, if the lid is closed, by tilting it to three particular angles in a specific sequence

    Slight problem that makes this useless - you have to remember to arm it, ie. your laptop is switched on, and the battery has not run dry. If you've got to remember to pick it up and hold it upside down you might as well just put it into hibernate mode, it saves power, and let the BIOS password deal with the thief.

    The *real* problem is that laptops are stolen when you turn your back for a second because you're thinking of something else (without thinking "I should engage the security device by going dancing with my laptop"). If you are going to walk away from the laptop then *take it with you* or use BIOS-protected APM.

    Even if it does work, the thief will know the alarm is activated so he'll pull out his gun and shoot you while he runs away. Or he might shoot you *before* he takes the laptop. I think I'll take the insurance payout instead ;-)

    --
    A caveman dreams of being us, the incalculable power and riches. We dream of being Q, then what?
    1. Re:Slight problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Slight problem that makes this useless - you have to remember to arm it, ie. your laptop is switched on, and the battery has not run dry. If you've got to remember to pick it up and hold it upside down you might as well just put it into hibernate mode, it saves power, and let the BIOS password deal with the thief.

      Actually, NO, this is not the case. While the laptop is powered, say at your desk, you can set it to auto arm when the screensaver starts or when the laptop goes into standby or hibernate.

      Also the Caveo Anti-Theft device contains a battery that is charged when the laptop is booted into the operating system.

      This permits the device to work even when laptop power is off. The motion based password is ideal for this situation so that one does not have to boot up the laptop to arm/disarm the device.

      Check out Caveo's website http://www.caveo.com - all the information is there (just takes a few seconds to become truly educated on a topic you know!).

      The siren can be powered at full volume for about 30 minutes on a full charge and the device can opereate >3 weeks between charges.

    2. Re:Slight problem by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
      Beliskner writes:
      Even if it does work, the thief will know the alarm is activated so he'll pull out his gun and shoot you while he runs away. Or he might shoot you *before* he takes the laptop. I think I'll take the insurance payout instead ;-)
      That is bullshit. I used to hang out with Chicago cops -- "mugger shoots victim" is a rare story, and the truth is usually "mob hit disguised as mugging misreported by media".

      Shooting people is noisy, messy, and tends to get a lot of investigative attention.

      The average thief is some crackhead looking for an easy score so he can get his next fix, or the twichty low-level manager in the next cubicle over funding his cocaine habit (or covering his E-trade margin account losses).

      In either case, snatch-and-grab robbers tend to be unarmed, and even armed robbers don't want to shoot you, they want an easy quiet getaway from a 'property crime' that likely won't even result in a police report.

      It's a big step from "burglar" or "mugger" to "murderer". Even in the worst of the projects, few people are so far out of it that they will take that step for the hundred bucks your laptop will gain them.

      ... you might as well just put it into hibernate mode, it saves power, and let the BIOS password deal with the thief.
      ...
      If you are going to walk away from the laptop then *take it with you* or use BIOS-protected APM.
      The thief isn't going to care about the BIOS password, he just wants to hand it off to his fence for fifty or a hundred bucks. The fence will see that it powers up, then add it to a bulk lot of other laptops, which will go to a wholesaler that knows how to get around BIOS passwords.

      Don't believe me? Buy your local beat cop a pint and ask him yourself.

    3. Re:Slight problem by Beliskner · · Score: 1
      The average thief is some crackhead looking for an easy score so he can get his next fix, or the twichty low-level manager in the next cubicle over funding his cocaine habit (or covering his E-trade margin account losses).

      In that case I invite you to come here as a cop, this place is probably tougher than your projects plus this happened to my friend just the other day, and this guy that was stabbed is a coworker of mine. So even if I hear that laptop alarm go off I'm gonna ignore it and take the insurance.

      In the corner of my Mall car park there are a few vans loaded with 5 buck TVs, 10 buck VCRs and 50 buck laptops. The cops here ignore them. Maybe in your picket fence suburb you can afford to kick a criminal's ass, but over here it's becoming real risky business.

      --
      A caveman dreams of being us, the incalculable power and riches. We dream of being Q, then what?
    4. Re:Slight problem by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
      That really sucks.

      If it wasn't so tragic, I'd make some quip about how London deserves this sort of result after turning themselves into a nation of disarmed victims. But no city 'deserves' a high crime rate, even if they have instituted the equivalent of "OSHA for criminals"

      Maybe in your picket fence suburb you can afford to kick a criminal's ass, but over here it's becoming real risky business.
      Compare your london carjacking story with the stories about this Louisiana law, where even the staunchest oppponents of the change admit that it has a deterrant effect.

      So even if I hear that laptop alarm go off I'm gonna ignore it and take the insurance.
      If things are that bad, why not leave? Why stay in a country where self-defense is a criminal act?
    5. Re:Slight problem by Beliskner · · Score: 1

      I don't think that's a solution. As a law abiding citizen I'd only carry a gun if I was going to kill someone, all my friends have the same belief. I misplace my cellular phone all the time, if I carried a gun I'd probably ending up misplacing that a lot too. I don't wake up in the morning expecting to kill someone, even in self-defence, hence I never carry weapons. When someone robs you, it tends to happen at an inconvenient time. If I had a lethal weapon built into my brain or something then maybe I'd use it at that time, but then when I go to a bar, get totally drunk and shoot someone as a joke, I mean that's not something I want to do. I cannot guarantee that I won't do that when I'm drunk, I don't think anyone can and thus guns are bad. If I walked into a bar and even suspected anyone in there who might be drunk might have a gun even for self-defence, I'd walk straight out and go to another bar.

      I've been thinking about that for a long while now, Canada looks great but they've recently changed their immigration laws so I'll need 4 years solid experience before applying, unlike the part-time IT stuff I have now despite a God damn Master's degree in IT/Electronics joint major. My friend has had more success than me because he's in Sales, and is very good at it, and has moved to Dubai but he's recently found out that it's worse than here - if he has a car accident then no matter what it is his fault as a non-arab outsider as just one example.

      --
      A caveman dreams of being us, the incalculable power and riches. We dream of being Q, then what?
    6. Re:Slight problem by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
      I don't think that's a solution. As a law abiding citizen I'd only carry a gun if I was going to kill someone, all my friends have the same belief.
      That is an interesting belief, nothing wrong with that -- but what you say further down concerns me.
      I misplace my cellular phone all the time, if I carried a gun I'd probably ending up misplacing that a lot too. I don't wake up in the morning expecting to kill someone, even in self-defence, hence I never carry weapons.
      I don't wake up in the morning expecting to fight a fire or pull a car out of a ditch, but I carry tow straps and an extinguisher in my truck. OTOH, if you feel that you are that unreliable and do not want to take responsibility for your own defense, then you shouldn't carry weapons.
      When someone robs you, it tends to happen at an inconvenient time. If I had a lethal weapon built into my brain or something then maybe I'd use it at that time, but then when I go to a bar, get totally drunk and shoot someone as a joke, I mean that's not something I want to do. I cannot guarantee that I won't do that when I'm drunk, I don't think anyone can and thus guns are bad.
      That is a rather simplistic view of the world. I have never done anything to hurt somebody 'as a joke' drunk or sober. I don't normally 'Get totally drunk', and my friends who have CHL's drink even less frequently. Statistics support the assertion that CHL holders are overall more responsible and law-abiding than the average citizen.
      If I walked into a bar and even suspected anyone in there who might be drunk might have a gun even for self-defence, I'd walk straight out and go to another bar.
      It's just like the 'Don't drink and drive' campaigns. If you are going out to get drunk, you find a designated driver.

      The difficult choice is what do do when having a couple of drinks with dinner...

  75. Do What My Great Grand Dad Did by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    True story... my great grand father was a delivery person in the 30's in Indianapolis, Indiana for a drug store. He delivered to some pretty seedy areas of town, usually after work. It gets dark in the winter, and the delivery van he drove was obviously from a pharmacy, so there were always punks wanting what he was carrying.

    He rigged a rocksalt loaded, homemade shotgun in the driver side door, crotch height. Basically it was a reloaded 20 guage round, mounted in a short length of pipe the same size as the shotgun shell. He then rigged a small rat trap with a pin on the swing arm to act as firing pin. He mounted this by weld in the door, cut a small hole in the side, and put some tape/paint over the hole to hide it. (this is an underpowered 20 guage round, don't panic).

    He got stopped once at a T intersection and someone actually tried to force his door so they could rough him up and steal the trucks deliveries. He rolled the window down a crack and warned the fellow with a knife to back off or he would get it. The guy persisted and threated to break the window, so BLAMO, crotch full of rocksalt. Made the papers and everything.

    The guy was bruised and scratched and didn't have much of a sex life for a couple of months, but he was a wanted hood so in jail he could be the catcher anyway. The cops fined my great grandfather (who went on years later to work in the sherrifs department for Marion County) and confiscated the door, but he was safe!

    I think a nice, metal case laptop with a high energy discharge ala a stungun (isolate the metal outer shell from the guts) that can be triggered remotely would be great, along with a handy dandy space based tracker built into the frame of the case like a wireless network setup.

    1. Re:Do What My Great Grand Dad Did by DrSpin · · Score: 1
      How about an easter-egg key combination that fires of pepper spray?

      Maybe third failure to guess the root password? (You wouldnt run Windows on a laptop, would you?)

  76. ifup by Paul+the+Bold · · Score: 2
    I read an article about a guy who used some remote administration package to recover his sister's stolen Macintosh. I can accomplish similar things with a remote login (ssh, of course) on my Linux box, but only if I have the IP address.

    This gave me an idea for protecting my wife's laptop.

    I edited the ifup script to e-mail the IP address to me. I want the thief to use the computer for a long period of time, and use it repeatedly, so I can track them. There is an autologin feature available for gdm and kdm, so I enabled it (I didn't know it could be used as a security feature). I also put some familiar looking icons on the desktop so the thief will feel at home and use the machine frequently, and hopefully they will click the big "connect to internet" icon.

    Of course, I usually just use this to eject the CD-ROM when my wife is using the computer. I think it's funny, but I think she rolls her eyes. I can't be sure. Maybe a webcam...

    1. Re:ifup by StrandgecK · · Score: 1

      A common theif would not know to use Linux any ways.

      --
      ----- The aluminum foil helmet is for my protection!
    2. Re:ifup by Paul+the+Bold · · Score: 2

      That is why I enabled the the auto-login, fancy windowmanager and desktop, and big, friendly icons.

  77. I prefer low-tech... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    if it's not powered up with the proper password it detonates 2 pound of plastic explosives.. destroying the laptop and hopefully getting the scumbag that stole it in the process.

  78. And hopefully it gets you too by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Some night when you stagger in drunk and want to surf for your disgusting animal farm pr0n and you have forgotten your password... BLAM! One less lousy *nix user in the world. *does happy dance with nipsplode action*

  79. Laptop Bag? by imadork · · Score: 3, Funny
    I've found that a good way to keep a laptop from being stolen is to not put it in a bag that screams, "There's a laptop in this bag!"

    My wife has a Pismo G3 from her employer, whose IT department bought her a Targus laptop bag with the order because "We do it for all Laptop orders". Never mind the fact that the bag was obviously made to fit a boxy PC laptop, not the curvy Pismo. Ultimately, she found a backpack with a laptop compartment built in, and bought it herself. She's willing to trade the fact that her laptop bag doesn't look "Professional" (read: pretentious) for the fact that nobody knows its a laptop bag. Nobody's stolen it yet....

    And the Targus laptop bag is sitting somewhere on a spare desk in her department. Nobody else wants to use it, either.

    1. Re:Laptop Bag? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      I have a co-worker who uses a diaper bag to carry her laptop. It's a good quality bag with lots of pockets. Nobody wants to steal a diaper bad, but somebody did once steal the laptop case she was using to carry diapers around.

    2. Re:Laptop Bag? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The CaseLogic NC-Shuttle notebook computer sleeve turns any backpack into such a laptop-backpack. It's basically a padded laptop-shaped and sized bag made of thick neoprene. It's about the right size for a laptop with a 14.1" screen (a little big for my Thinkpad T-series, so it should be fine for thicker models).

    3. Re:Laptop Bag? by joekool · · Score: 1

      timbuk2 laptop bag: design your own
      best bags ever

      --

      Slackware: old school feel, new school gear.
  80. Best guess by karlm · · Score: 1
    My best guess is that they ping and traceroute about 500 sights arround the world and email the response to you. There are srvices that use ping times from a few different servers to geographically locate a given IP. Of course, IPtunneling totally screws this up, so if they dial up AOL long distance from a phreaked phoneline, you've got the FBI on the wrong half of the globe looking for your computer. Then again, 99.5% of most criminals don't even wipe the HD after stealing a laptop.

    Maybe it resides in the boot sector. fdisk and format don't touch the mbr without the \mbr flag. Depending on the low-level format, it might not touch the MBR either. If nothing else, most modern OSes don't use the BIOS for much, so you could put it all in a minimalistic BIOS. A driver for one ethernet card and one internal modem wouldn't need to be very big, and it doesn't need a whole network stack... just enough to do ICMP echo and TCP, or else send the data hidden in specially formatted ICMP echo packets to company headquarters, from which the email is actualy sent via TCP.

    Of course, implementing this in a Curusoe laptop would be trivial if you got enough cooperation from Transmetta to have them compile your source and have it run in its own thread in the code morphing layer. And then they could provideyou with a firmware update floppy or something for your customers. They get to keep their codea secret and you get a virtually undetectable "silend alarm"... most firewalls let ICMP echo packets through without logging.

    --
    Copyright Violation:"theft, piracy"::Anti-Trust Violation:"thermonuclear price terrorism"<-Overly dramatic language.
  81. Great for student laptops by st0rmshad0w · · Score: 2

    I'd imagine that all of the school systems that are handing out laptops to their students could benefit from this if the price was right, although I'm still of the opinion that accidental physical damage is a greater threat to laptops (in any deployment locale) than theft. And more often than not the real value is in the data and program code, not the machinery itself.

    And my employer has ceased to deploy physical security measures, figuring that insurance will replace anything, and usually with more up to date equipment.

    Now whether or not this is cost effective is another issue.

  82. Re:The Information can be worth more than the lapt by atomico · · Score: 1

    Notice taped inside all lifts in the office building where I work, some weeks ago:

    Laptop stolen, floor 12. Reward if given back: $10.000. No questions will be asked

    Couple of days later, those notices had been removed. I never knew whether the laptop had been returned...

  83. odd, yet.... by pcgamez · · Score: 1

    Why do laptops get stolen? Lets go through the list

    1) leaving it unatended in a vehicle
    2) leaving it unatended in a public (or even private place)
    3) theft by force (steraling it at knife/gunpoint)

    Those seem to be the most common. Numbers 1 and 2 can easily be circumvented by actually HOLDING ON TO IT. Number 3 you can do nothing about. Most likely, the security system will not be armed when Numebr 3 happens, so you are still SOL. So, why bother?

  84. Free Laptop Tracking: DynDNS by SuperLoser · · Score: 1

    I have a dynamic dns client set up on my Mac OSX laptop. http://www.dyndns.org I can always get my computers ip address by doing an nslookup on it's dns entry. If it were ever stolen, I could ssh to it (as long as it's not behind a firewall). Once I have a command line on it, I could destroy my old data, get copies of the new users data that might reveal its location etc. I could even upload a script that caused the modem to call my caller id enabled cell phone. This is similar to that recent iMac recovery story where the guy used Timbuktu to find a computer.

  85. Targus laptop bags and the opposite of stealth. by Nonesuch · · Score: 5, Funny
    My Targus bag looks more like a briefcase than a laptop case. Yeah, it does look "Professional" (or even pretentious), like a lawyer's case for briefs.

    I'm very very happy with Targus -- not just the quality, but also the support (broke the strap two years after getting the bag, they sent a new, improved strap, for free).

    The big drawback to Targus bags is that they are heavy. That is also their strength, as the bag takes a lot of abuse, saving the laptop inside from harm.

    Speaking of a good way to keep a laptop from being stolen is to not put it in a bag that screams, "There's a laptop in this bag!" , I have a pile of clean old Compaq laptop bags without the laptops...

    These bags scream "There is a Compaq Laptop in this bag!", though there isn't -- I give them to family members to use as briefcases, lunch bags, and even keep one in the back of my truck to hold my jumper cables.

    Nobody has stolen my jumper cables or my nieces schoolbooks... yet.

    1. Re:Targus laptop bags and the opposite of stealth. by jonearth · · Score: 1


      of a good way to keep a laptop from being stolen is to not put it in a bag that screams, "There's a laptop in this bag!


      Yes, I agree.

      Personally, I put my laptop in a small computer sleeve and then put it in my casual backpack. This is even much safer than using Targus notebook bag as professional thief may recognize this kind of expensive laptop bag. For me, I can put my sleeve into whatever kind of bags, suitcase and backpack but still have enough protection to my notebook.

  86. No matter the question, Thermite is the answer. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Those nice magnesium-cased laptops are just calling out to be hollowed of everything internal (except for the battery) and filled with a nice packet of thermite. (I recommend the rare Cupric Oxide + Zinc mixture instead of the more common 'rust and aluminum fillings field-expedient formula).

    Just wire the power switch across the nice big (low-self-discharge-rate!) Lion battery and a good ly length of nichrome wire into the thermite pack.

    Tapping the power switch does nothing, but the thief who holds down the power switch for thirty seconds (make sure that the switch still illuminates the power LED) to see if the machine will still power up (with the laptop sitting, naturally, in his lap) will be cured of theft forever.

    Just make sure you don't try to take this through airport security!

  87. MagnaVolt by Dimensio · · Score: 1

    Lethal Protection.

  88. security device by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How difficult would it be to build GPS and a cheap cell modem into laptops? Dial into modem (probably at a hefty cost) and it sends back GPS coordinates. As long as the laptop has minimal power, it can be retrieved.

    Anybody know of similar hardware?

  89. Re:Protecting-A-Laptop-HOWNOT by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    1)Keep all your URL's for your animal and pedophilic pr0n under a profile in your real name
    2)Forget backups, keep all pages cached right on hard drive, along with illegal correspondance to Charles Manson and your favorite pedeophile phriends.
    3)Skip insurance and encryption.
    4)Attach the "I hump kids" bumper sticker to the case cover
    5)Place laptop in laptop back, wrapped in childrens underwear and sealed with dog collars
    6)Place laptop with your business card and two pieces of recent personal mail taped to the bag on steps of police department nearest your home

  90. Problem solved by PlaysWithMatches · · Score: 1

    Just get one of these babies and you'll no longer have a problem with laptop theft.

    --

    Mozilla's a nice operating system, but it needs a better browser.
  91. Laptops & Bikes? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    > Laptops are a lot like bicycles: if you have a 50-pound laptop, it doesn't need a lock.

    Wha? The weight of a bicycle doesn't matter, it's the ridability of the thing. But I wouldn't even compare an unridable bicycle to a laptop, because what makes a one-wheeled bike hard to steal is its clunkiness, not its weight. Most people could make a getaway with a 50-pound box, but so easily not with a 3'X2' metal frame.

    How supremely lame it has been for me to pick on this! :)

  92. Assume it is stolen by rjamestaylor · · Score: 1
    Ok...all my development work is rsynced to my laptop so that I have a portable work environment. The code base is pretty significant to my company and my client. How do I stop someone from getting at my data once my machine is in their possession? Requirement: it has to be seemless for authorized users. I'm thinking about an encrypted filesystem -- I looked briefly for one for Linux/FreeBSD but wasn't satisfied.

    Ideas?

    --
    -- @rjamestaylor on Ello
  93. Thanks from a fellow Canuck by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Thanks for the bike! It's a beauty, eh...

  94. "foolproof" by sahala · · Score: 2
    The Caveo card's execution is superb, but its concept isn't foolproof. For example, a thief (perhaps knowing how the card works) could simply eject the whining card and toss it into the Hudson.

    I find the bolded part above a bit distressing. When I started readinga bout the Caveo card I assumed that the card becomes physically secured to the machine by some means or another. I imagined that there would perhaps be a short cable to the anti-theft jack that seem to exist on all new machines.

    Imagine a car alarm on the exterior of a car, where a thief could just rip the blaring siren off and ditch it while driving away. Not that car alarms are 100% effective, but at least it's a somewhat pain in the ass to disable by comparison.

    This also brings up another problem with laptops. PCMCIA cards in general are quite easy to remove, especially those wireless cards which protrude a good half-inch or more out of the PCMCIA slot. Ethernet and modem cards are relatively cheap these days, but wireless cards, hard drives, video input devices, and other toys are not. Even batteries and internal hard-drives are easy to grab, and they can bring in some good cash. A good crook could clear out a few thousand dollars worth of hardware in about 10 minutes, all inconspicuously since these things are quite pocketable.

    Anyway, after using a notebook for quite some time and having one stolen at the office while I took a nap (all nighters suck) I would say the most cost effective theft-detterrant for the machine is the combo-lock/key notebook cable. They're a lot cheaper, more reliable to arm, and look more secure than the $100+ fancy alternatives proposed in the article above. I would argue that a cable-locked notebook looks like a serious pain in the ass to mess with, since it entails snippers and the like. I think the products mentioned in the NYtimes article might be good only when combined with a cable lock, but definitely not alone.

    So does anyone know of ways to physically secure PCMCIA devices?

    1. Re:"foolproof" by green1 · · Score: 1

      So does anyone know of ways to physically secure PCMCIA devices?

      My toshiba notebook had a good way of doing this, there was a switch bellow the slot that slid a piece of metal part way over the end of the PCMCIA cards (only works with the normal ones, not the ones that stick out of the computer like the wireless cards tend to) it also had a similar device for the power switch. normally you could just slide the switch out of the way and remove/insert cards at will, however if you had a laptop lock in use (anything that locks to the lock port on the laptop) those switches would be locked too. so basically once the laptop was locked to the desk it also locked the pcmcia cards and the power switch as well.

  95. old coin joke by ReidMaynard · · Score: 1

    thoughts of modernizing the old glued-coin-to-the-floor joke, for a lappy

    * old lappy / dos
    * write proggy which plays the sound file "Someone Is Trying To steal Me!" Whenever any button is pressed. Plays for 60 seconds.
    * epoxy

    1) glue lappy to table top
    2) walk away

    --
    -- www.globaltics.net

    Political discussion for a new world

  96. My anti-theft device by Team+Vogon · · Score: 0

    My lap to anti-theft device magically makes my computer turn into a desktop system. No way anyone will every steal this away me, other than breaking into my house.

    My only need for a laptop is for portability around the house. Anything on my computer is too valuable to risk being taken out in public.

    Just my $0.02

    --
    -I'll hang up and listen...
  97. Re:Mine was NOT stolen by theSprocket · · Score: 2, Funny

    My home was recently burgerarized and to my surprise they left two good laptops, i feel that the risk of the next owner (pawn shop) discovering the previous owner (me), via software registration/registry entries, scared 'em off. Of course the thiefs would not be familiar with high end concealment tools such as fdisk and format.

    they did steal my laptop case to carry off the contents of my change jar, damn crackheads.

  98. Forget tracking by theSprocket · · Score: 1

    I am working on a device that installs in the case and works by proximity to a belt worn or key fob transciever. when the laptop, in its case, is too far from the transciever it will deliver about the equivelant voltage as a stun-gun via the handle.

    i thought of this one day in Houston Intl. Airport, i was sitting at one of the overpriced bars with my heals cleanched around my laptop case to keep it from walking off without me.

  99. Method of tracking IP, subpoena not trivial by pilsen · · Score: 1
    The next time the thief tries to go online -- by dial-up modem, corporate network, cable modem, wireless modem or whatever -- a morsel of invisible software kicks into action. By piggybacking invisibly onto the Internet connection, it sends a critical piece of information to the tracking company: the laptop's Internet protocol (I.P.) address, the unique, multidigit number that identifies each computer on the Internet. Once the authorities are armed with that address, it's a piece of cake to subpoena the baddie's account records from the Internet service provider.

    I posted a similar method for IP address tracking here.

    And getting a subpoena is *not* a trivial thing to do. you have to first present the information to law enforcement, hope that you get to talk to someone that's tech-savvy enough to understand *how* you tracked the laptop. Then you need to explain HOW you got their ISP's number to more tech-ignorant detectives, and *finally* you might get your case heard by a judge.

  100. a cool deal on the laptop lojack by nadya1024 · · Score: 1

    hey all, i just saw a deal on dealitup: http://www.dealitup.com/v33deal/topic.asp?ARCHIVE= &TOPIC_ID=95 for the laptop anti theft product everyone's talking about.

    basically if you go to the web site for lucira (http://www.lucira.com), try to buy the product, and enter this code: promo code: NN0DX682ZZLG7W35ZZ

    then you can get 2yrs of mobilesecure for $24.99. (normally they charge something like 79 dollars for two years). i think it's some kind of promo that was suppowsed to be expire but the company doesn't seem to be checking. i just used the code to buy it for my toshiba satellite running xp which i use for work, and the whole thing only took a couple of minutes. cool. :) too there's no linux version yet. :( anyways, i thought i'd pass it on since i normally just read the posts and comments and never comment. keepin' it real, nadya k.

  101. Security that *works* by dscottj · · Score: 1
    I once asked an airforce friend about military planes... did they have keys like cars (and many private airplanes)? He thought about it for awhile, and said nope, never could remember one. I asked him what kept people from climbing in them and driving off. He said the guy standing in front of it with an M-16 seemed to be a pretty good deterrent.


    If I could only get one of those for my laptop, I wouldn't need insurance!

    --
    AMCGLTD.COM. Where cats, science fictio
  102. Re: I wondered about that too.... by MbM · · Score: 1

    I think he just "stole" it himself to get the insurance claim.

    --
    - MbM
  103. Randomizing your NYTimes FreeReg Login by AngusSF · · Score: 1
    Found this page, it's a 'keeper':
    Random NYTimes login form

    The online New York Times site (http://www.nytimes.com) requires registration in order to access the site. However, I keep forgetting my registration information. Therefore, I have created this page to help me re-register. This webpage uses JavaScript to randomly fill in a form with new information.

    http://www.robertgraham.com/tools/random-user.html

    --
    "A gun is a tool, Marian. No better, no worse than any other tool. An axe, a shovel, or anything." Shane (1953)
    1. Re:Randomizing your NYTimes FreeReg Login by AngusSF · · Score: 1

      Spoke too fast, it isn't working. Nice idea, though ...

      --
      "A gun is a tool, Marian. No better, no worse than any other tool. An axe, a shovel, or anything." Shane (1953)
  104. Diaper Bags by repetty · · Score: 1

    One of my longtime hobbies is photography. The camera market, like the laptop market, also has a sub-industry of carrying case makers. And, like laptop users, photographers are constantly hounded by thieves.

    One innovative (and cheap) solution that popped up years ago: Use a diaper bag to transport your equipment.

    Diaper bag advantages:
    Cheap
    Padded
    Have many side pockets
    Are the last thing someone would want to steal.

    Note that the diaper bag solution is NOT appropriate for anyone who's top priority is not having their laptop stolen.

    Too bad we're such an image conscious culture.

    --Richard

  105. Not really a mugging by fm6 · · Score: 2
    Three guys grabbed him, showed him the knife and said "Play nice". They hailed a cab, put him in it, and said "Take us to your apartment," which he did.
    These guys were obviously well-connected, given their total lack of concern about witnesses. I think the residents of this city have problems that are a lot more serious and basic than laptop theft!
  106. Maybe they need lojack (like in cars!) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just make a tough case and install lo-jack. Track within minutes of loss.

  107. What about a clit-lock? by daveking · · Score: 1

    So why not just use mouse motion then?

    Hey, if your laptop has one of those button pointers, you can put your mouth over it use your tongue. That way no one can even see your secret unlock method.

    --
    ------DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE------
  108. You didn't read the article by cnelzie · · Score: 2


    In the article, it mentions that those systems will need to be brought up and conected to the internet. Based upon the intelligence of most criminals, do you think they will know how to alter a Linux password?

    Again, do you think that they will know that there is a Linux partition if that is only accesible with a boot disk?

    One last thing. If a thief of my laptop actually knew how to overcome what you have described. Why the hell would he/she hook the system up to the internet? They would peruse my hard drive for files they might like, then wipe the drives clean and put what they want on the machine. Then and only then would they hit the internet with the laptop.

    Does that make it clearer as to why that software is useless to me?

    --
    .sig seperator
    --

    The problem that I am referring to is how useless that software would be for me, since the thief would be unable to access my system, let alone get it on the internet without wiping the hard drive.

    --
    If you ignore the other uses of a tool, does that make the tool less useful, or you less useful?
  109. Cheap, lightweight anti-theft devices by AndyChrist · · Score: 2

    Put an old-style "intel inside" sticker on it.

    Make sure that any model numbers on it somehow suggest that it is a 386, and that its screen is either black and white, or passive-matrix.

    Cover all non-legacy ports with a plate having dummy serial ports or somesuch.

    The CDROM drive should be made to look like a 5.25 inch floppy drive. (I don't know if notebooks ever had those, but hey, nothing wrong with overkill)

    Is anyone gonna steal this thing?

  110. A 50 pound bicycle... by compumike · · Score: 1

    To all you commenting that a laptop wouldn't be 50 pounds:

    How many of you slashdotters have actually seen a bicycle? Thats right, its an athletic event. (Oh the horror!) I just want to point out, that a bicycle has wheels. So, a 50 lb bicycle wouldn't be that hard to move.

  111. Use a stealth laptop bag by Freaky-Monkey · · Score: 1
    As previously mentioned, it's a good idea to use a low-pro bag for your laptop and not the one that came with it (they're usually ugly, anyway).

    Check out Spire USA. They make killer packs, durable as hell with cordura and other quality fabrics. Mine has a built-in padded sleave for the laptop and tons of other cool features. Plus it's bomber and looks good. I've used mine for years and it still looks new-ish.

  112. Biometrics come standard on MicronPC by charnov · · Score: 1

    Micron has started selling a laptop with built in thumb scanner. My military unit is already talking to them. Too bad it is a P-4 system.

    Micron laptop with thumb scanner

    --
    [RIAA] says its concern is artists. That's true, in just the sense that a cattle rancher is concerned about its cattle.
  113. Theft of small parts from "secured" laptops by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
    Sahara writes:
    This also brings up another problem with laptops. PCMCIA cards in general are quite easy to remove
    ...
    A good crook could clear out a few thousand dollars worth of hardware in about 10 minutes, all inconspicuously since these things are quite pocketable.

    Computer stores learned this the hard way. Used to be, when you went to the CDW showroom half the floor model laptops (locked down with a cable lock) would have been stripped of every removeable part, from hard drives to taking a screwdriver to the bottom access panel and stripping out the RAM.

    Lately CDW locks the laptops up with this wire bondage cage that makes component removal more difficult, but you still see the occasional machine where a small hand has managed to wiggle out the 2.5 hard drive, etc.

    My oldest laptop is designed so when the cable lock is in the 'security slot', you cannot remove the hard drive.

    So does anyone know of ways to physically secure PCMCIA devices?
    Some Toshiba models have two points to attach a cable lock, the second being below the (plastic) door that covers the PCMCIA slots. Attach a physically large security lock, and you block access to the eject button and/or the cards.
  114. How (not) to react to attempted laptop theft by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
    I want to know what city/university this refers to, so I can avoid it like the plague.

    Three guys grabbed him, showed him the knife and said "Play nice". They hailed a cab, put him in it, and said "Take us to your apartment," which he did.

    These guys were obviously well-connected, given their total lack of concern about witnesses. I think the residents of this city have problems that are a lot more serious and basic than laptop theft!

    Agreed.

    An interesting statistic -- generally an attacker with a knife is much more likely to cut a victim to 'show he means business' than an attacker with a gun. Generally, people attacked by a gun-wielding assaliant are less likely to be injured.

  115. Guns don't slice by fm6 · · Score: 2
    Is this the obligatory "guns don't kill people" post? If so, thanks for doing it without the usual cliches.

    If there's any inference to be made here, I don't think it's that gun muggers have more self-discipline than knife muggers. It seems obvious to me that anybody who uses intentional injury as a form of communication would prefer a knife to a gun. Despite all the "just wing him" scenes in the movies, a shooter can't really control whether a gunshot is fatal. I don't know much about the professional standards in the your-money-or-your-life business, but unnecessary homicides would seem to be counterproductive. On the other hand, empathy is obviously not a professional qualificantion....

  116. Re:The Information can be worth more than the lapt by linzeal · · Score: 1

    Biometrics are supposedly making it into mainstream devices en masse since they can finnaly make the hardware cheap enough. Expect it in 2003 onward as a matter of course.

  117. My mother by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    if you piss her off you are dead!

  118. Re:Guns don't slice... coke heads do. by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
    Is this the obligatory "guns don't kill people" post? If so, thanks for doing it without the usual cliches.
    You're welcome.

    For some real enlightenment, check out the statistics on the percentage of murder victims with cocaine in their bloodstream.

    If there's any inference to be made here, I don't think it's that gun muggers have more self-discipline than knife muggers.
    The unpopular inference is that firearms restrictions may actually increase the number of victims injured in these crimes.
    It seems obvious to me that anybody who uses intentional injury as a form of communication would prefer a knife to a gun. Despite all the "just wing him" scenes in the movies, a shooter can't really control whether a gunshot is fatal. I don't know much about the professional standards in the your-money-or-your-life business, but unnecessary homicides would seem to be counterproductive.
    According to the cops, such crimes are acts of desparation by addicts in withdrawal, so they are not entirely rational... but they also want an easy quiet crime that won't make the newspapers.

    Laptops are a popular target because they are easy to turn into cash, and often left unattended. This makes them more attractive than say, a purse, which may or may not contain items of value.

  119. Encrypted Filesystem by Nonesuch · · Score: 1
    I'm thinking about an encrypted filesystem -- I looked briefly for one for Linux/FreeBSD but wasn't satisfied.
    OpenBSD and FreeBSD support CFS: http://www.freebsddiary.org/encrypted-fs.php

    There is some CPU overhead, but otherwise the mechanism is well-tested, stable, and secure.

  120. The best protection is the laptop itself. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I've got a Panasonic Toughbook.

    I'm not worried about someone trying to steal it because it's metal plated, about 166 MHZ, runs commandline FreeBSD and HEAVY.

    and besides, I'm just gonna get some spikes put on it, and hit the bastard who tries to take it with the ACTUAL laptop. :)

    Now that's justice.

  121. The ULTIMATE theft protector! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Toshiba T1200XE
    12MHz 286, 1Meg of RAM, 20M HD, mono screen.
    'Nuff said.

  122. Re:The Information can be worth more than the lapt by jareds · · Score: 1

    IBM has some pretty nice new security that allows for even the HDDs within laptops to be locked up, even when the HDDs are removed from the machine and put in another machine. Pretty nice for securing data, and would have been nice for the company to know that the data couldn't be accessed.

    Please. If I stole a laptop for the purpose of corporate espionage, I think I would have the resources to swap the drive electronics, or, if all else fails, the platters. If you want to secure your data, encrypt it.

  123. demonstration of power by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Thats cause giving someone a little cut will hurt them, and motivate them to resist less.

    Shooting someone in the foot is very loud, messy, and the victim will probably make a whole helluva lot of noise.

    More people die from guns than knives in robberies, but the stats are quite similar. The biggest problem is that many people do not see knives as being a lethal weapon, and resist more.

  124. Darn coke heads by fm6 · · Score: 2
    I certainly agree that crackheads (not cokeheads, crystal coke is an expensive, upscale drug; related thefts tend to be of the white-collar variety) are more dangerous in their own right than guns or knives. Mugging is always nasty, but given a choiced I'd rather be mugged by somebody whose behavior is predictable.

    Still, we weren't talking about street zombies with a declining brain cell count. We were talking about professional thieves carrying out carefully planned robberies.

    1. Re:Darn coke heads by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
      I certainly agree that crackheads (not cokeheads, crystal coke is an expensive, upscale drug; related thefts tend to be of the white-collar variety)
      A lot of "white collar crime" is committed to fund a "white collar drug habit", primarily coke. That includes a huge percentage of in-house corporate laptop shrinkage.