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Many Hackers Too Fat For The FBI

CaveDwler writes: "Want to work for the FBI in computer security? Better put down your cheesey poofs and pick up your M16. According to this article over on Wired, you have to pass physical requirements in order to work with FBI in computer security."

201 of 581 comments (clear)

  1. Too bad by flewp · · Score: 2

    for CowboyNeal.

    --
    WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
  2. Wow, this is news! by solarrhino · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hackers? Too Fat? Say it's aint so!

    --
    "Lord, grant that I may always be right, for Thou knowest that I am hard to turn" -- A Scots-Irish prayer
  3. Fat? Where? by Synn · · Score: 2

    Where are all these fat pasty geeks I keep hearing about? Most I see are scrawny as hell. Yeah okay, so they're pasty, but they could carry a M16(crap, just try to KEEP a geek away from a M16 for Christ's sake).

    I'd think the "college degree" required bit would be a bigger limiting factor.

    1. Re:Fat? Where? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      Where are all these fat pasty geeks I keep hearing about? Most I see are scrawny as hell.

      Ah, you must be one of the common eastern geeks. Known for their nervous twitchs and darting eyes. I am more familiar with the geekus midwestus, who are more noted for their smug manner and snorting laughter. Oh, and rolls and rolls of fat, of course.

    2. Re:Fat? Where? by chris_mahan · · Score: 2, Funny

      Geek and weapons instructor

      Instructor:
      "When you've emptied the clip, put the m-16 back down on the table"

      Geek:
      "Can I have more ammo?"

      Instructor:
      "AGAIN?"

      --

      "Piter, too, is dead."

    3. Re:Fat? Where? by fishbowl · · Score: 4, Insightful

      >>I'd think the "college degree" required bit
      >>would be a bigger limiting factor.

      Not really. Universities churn them out by the thousands, every year. And many of them are quite buff, physically, emotionally, mentally.

      When we read stories like this article, and hear about some overwieght, aging geek who got the wild
      hair to go into law enforcement when it suddenly appeared lucrative, and was rejected, we are supposed to sympathize. Perhaps we should, somewhat, but we must also consider that despite the requirements, and no matter what hype you hear to the contrary, most Federal agencies are having no problems whatsoever finding qualified applicants. There are a lot of people out there entering the workforce. It appears to me that there was a little babyboom in the more-is-more 1980s, and those kids are coming of age. I wish there was a way to get credible census information in this kind of detail, but I'll bet $1 that there are more 18-25 year olds today than there have ever been in history.

      In the case of the Federal law enforcement agencies, they usually have enough applicants just from former MP's, who have degrees, are physically fit, and have records that show distinguished military service.

      The "average geek" will refuse to believe that a business major or enlisted soldier could be as effective in computer security, network administration, or programming than he, but it is merely a perception based on prejudice, and not necessarily based in reality.

      I'm not even sure the "typical geek" would survive at all in a regimented, authoritarian work enviromnent. Quasi-military police work?

      The story sensationalizes the "overweight" factor, but I believe strongly that the man being over 35 and just now wanting to go into law enforcement is a bigger red flag. You really should start that career at 20. Perhaps at 18, beginning either with a few years of military service or majoring in criminal justice or political science. When it's time to retire from police work, you'll probably have a law degree to fall back on!

      But don't wait until you're almost 40, already burnt out, and THEN decide you want this type of career -- and if you do, don't try to blame not getting the job on your weight. There are a large number of factors working against this individual; the weight thing is just one; more of a symptom of the whole.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    4. Re:Fat? Where? by Catbeller · · Score: 3, Interesting

      "But don't wait until you're almost 40, already burnt out, and THEN decide you want this type of career "

      What is someone over 30 and who wants to start a new career supposed to do, commit suicide?

      Not everyone is 18-25, son. This forum's collective opinion to the contrary, there are over-25 yo's who can still contribute without wearing Depends.

      We are likely to be the generation that will live to 100, hell, 120 or 150 years of age. If only 18-25 yo's, just fresh out of college, are the only people worth considering for law enforcement, or comp sci, or IT, or electronics, hell, anything other than McJobs, what the hell is the majority of the world's poulation supposed to do? Read Slashdot for the rest of their lies and weep that they are no longer 18 and fresh out of a good high school in the burbs?

      This is a serious point. The population is aging, regardless of the Baby Boomlet kids of the 80's jamming up the employment pipes right now. The amount of ageism I encounter in real life and on fora such as these is also found in Human Resources departments I encounter daily.

      Something's going to give here. Even with the H1B visa worker flood, there is a shortage of good talent everywhere -- good talent, not mediocre and hired 'cause they're young and fit the profile at HR. Ther's going to be 80 million or so aging Americans with no access to good jobs because of the prejudice and school snobbery of the Boomlet. With Social Sec killed by the current admin's "borrowing", where the hell is anyone supposed to make a living?

    5. Re:Fat? Where? by fishbowl · · Score: 2

      NO! But he needs to think of something realistic
      to transition to! Schoolboy romantic notions of
      "fireman, cop, astronaut" are out of the question
      by now!

      And this article is about someone who was precisely in that frame.

      I won't even address the rest of your points, because you have assumed wrongly that I am younger than the person in the article.

      Certainly there are people in the subject's age bracket who could do well as an occupational athlete, but not him.

      The misunderstanding of the original article was that the job is for a federal police officer who happens to be skilled in computer network security. *NOT* vice versa.

      You tried to use my comments as a bully pulpit to rail against everything from immigration to social programs, and that was inappropriate.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    6. Re:Fat? Where? by Catbeller · · Score: 3, Insightful

      "You tried to use my comments as a bully pulpit to rail against everything from immigration to social programs, and that was inappropriate."

      I agree with all your other points. I, basically, didn't write enough in response, so that my point would have been clearer. I tend to write-and-run, because this sort of thing takes a lot of time.

      Not against immigration: merely realistic that the H1B relaxation of about two years back flooded the tech job market and closed up options for employment. This is a fact.

      The admin: I did rail against them, but I don't think it was inappropriate or "political" -- the tax cut and the new borrowing to finance 6.5 trillion bucks emptied out the SocSec funds with prejudice. Stick a fork in it: it's over. So now we collectively have to plan on working past 70.

      As for the purpose of arguing, I was not arguing the subject in the original article was correct, or you incorrect either. I was pointing out that, with a boomlet of yunguns, a flood of H1B's permitted, and age discrimination more rampant than in the '60's (another era of no-over 30's need apply), a person over thirty seems like a kid pressed up agaist a candy store window, with no hope of ever going inside.

      Someone over 30 shouldn't try to be an Olympic runner, but going into law enforcement or engineering shouldn't be a problem. A 35-yo can learn calc a lot faster than a 18 yo: not as distracted by the opposite sex, at the height of their mental faculties, fr more motivated (because, grimly, and realisitically, it's their last chance!). But, realistically, as you say, there is almost no chance for employment for a 35-40 year old new BS in CS.. some, but slim and vanishing.

      As you say, I am being realistic, but this is not a good situation for either you or anyone else. You're aging too, and you may need to change careers two or three times in your life.

      In Chicago last year, there was a such a critial shortage of new police recruits that they upped the age limit to... 40. They finally got their recruits, and I hope it works out well. I suspect that the older men and women will do better than their younger counterparts, since they are more motivated to succeed.

      In conclusion, I think my comments appropriate.

    7. Re:Fat? Where? by merlin_jim · · Score: 2

      ...but I'll bet $1 that there are more 18-25 year olds today than there have ever been in history.

      No takers. That bet would be true for most of the world throughout most of human history. By the very nature of human reproduction and population growth, there are always more humans in every age group than there have ever been in history, barring special circumstances like a large aging generation (such as the post-war births generally called "baby-boomers")

      --
      I am disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious?!
    8. Re:Fat? Where? by fishbowl · · Score: 2

      It appears to me that there are an assload of
      kids who were born in the 1980s and that cities and suburbs that were quite spacious in my memory are now very crowded.

      That's just how it looks to me.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
  4. darwin by Scrameustache · · Score: 5, Funny

    "They will not consider you unless you can carry your M16 through the physical fitness course without killing yourself in the process,"

    I think its fair, if you die in the test, they don't hire you.

    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

    1. Re:darwin by MoneyT · · Score: 2

      6.3 lbs? That's it? Hell my iBook wieghs in at 6.6, and I lug that arround all day. Man if you cant carry a 6.3 lb gun through an obsticle course, you definately do not deserve to be in the FBI. Expesialy if you call yourself geek.

      --
      T Money
      World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
    2. Re:darwin by dattaway · · Score: 2

      I don't know what my SKS weighs, but I can say carrying any type of gun or backpack through a cold morning of hunting can put anyone to the test. Physical endurance will seperate men from the boys in any kind of challenge.

    3. Re:darwin by MoneyT · · Score: 2

      Would a mile hike back and forth to school each day, plus carrying the books and coputer arround all day constitute enough of a haul for you? Believe me, ask any highschool student about lugging 6 pounds arround on their back all day and they'll ask you how the hell you managed to only have one class.

      --
      T Money
      World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
  5. It's not the physical reqs that turn away people by devphil · · Score: 3, Insightful


    ...it's the bind-bogglingly stupid hiring practices in general. And the FBI know it; heck, even this article spends only a little time discussing the physical bit. Most of the article points out other ways in which the FBI shoots themselves in the foot:

    [security consultent] Rosenberger added that even if a person were an acceptable job applicant, it would not guarantee that the person would work with computers.

    "You won't get a position in computer security until you've worked at least five years on the beat, preferably in physical investigations," Rosenberger said. "They'll grudgingly let you past if you just do forensics, but they feel you really should chase bad guys with a gun before you chase bad guys with a computer."

    At some point it will occur to the FBI that people can specialize in a topic before joining.

    --
    You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
  6. Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by Rayonic · · Score: 5, Funny

    How is playing Counter-Strike going to help me lose weight?

    1. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by joe52 · · Score: 2

      Maybe if you're on a long kill streak and the chips are just out of reach?

      Personally I get fragged enough to run to the fridge regularly without missing much.

    2. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by Xerithane · · Score: 2

      M4A1 Carbine that is in Counter-Strike is an M16 with a collapsible stock. It shares 80% commonality with the M16, and is a direct variant. The M4A1 carbine is a shortened version of the M16A2, so technically it does have an M16. Just a variant of an M16. Considering there also isn't an "M16" either, but M16A1, M16A2, M4/M4A1 that are all part of the M16 family.

      --
      Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
    3. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by Fesh · · Score: 2

      Actually, there's two major differences besides the collapsable stock. First of all, the barrel is redesigned. You can tell an M4 by the fact that it has a constriction midway down the length of the barrel. Second, the M16 is not fully automatic. It only has semi-auto and three-round burst settings. The M4, however, is full auto. Also, the handguard is only half-length, but any of the short-barreled AR-15 variants have that, so it's not as telling.

      Considering that I'm only a humble student of military technology, I'm probably missing the more subtle points.

      --
      --Fesh
      Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out.
    4. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by Angry+Black+Man · · Score: 2

      Second, the M16 is not fully automatic. It only has semi-auto and three-round burst settings

      No, you're wrong. Some M16's DO have full automatic. I know. I have fired an M16 (NOT an M4, and M16) in full auto mode. The M16A1 might but i am SURE one of the variants (whichever one is used by the Israeli Defense forces) IS full autmomatic.

      --
      the byproduct of years of oppression by the white man
    5. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by Xerithane · · Score: 2

      Actually, there's two major differences besides the collapsable stock. First of all, the barrel is redesigned. You can tell an M4 by the fact that it has a constriction midway down the length of the barrel. Second, the M16 is not fully automatic. It only has semi-auto and three-round burst settings. The M4, however, is full auto. Also, the handguard is only half-length, but any of the short-barreled AR-15 variants have that, so it's not as telling.
      You have point A, but you are wrong about the M16A1/2 being semi-automatic only. The M4 is part of the M16 family.

      I think M16 = ( M16A1|M16A2|M4A1|M4A2|AR15 ) but that's just my opinion.

      --
      Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
    6. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by DavidBrown · · Score: 2

      The M16A1 is the original, and can fire either single shots or be fully automatic, just by moving the switch.

      The M16A2 is the upgrade, and can fire either single shots or a three-round burst. It also has an upgraded plastic grip on the barrel (round instead of triangular), and also has a deflector behind the ejection port designed to prevent brass from flying into the face of left-handed shooters.

      The idea behind the three shot burst was that most soldiers just wasted ammo, so limiting them to a three shot burst saved ammo without really reducing effective firepower. Mind you, the typcial infantary squad should still have an automatic rifleman, carrying an M-62, or the newer SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon). The one real downside to the three shot burst is that the weapon actually has three different trigger-pulls - the amount of force necessary to squeeze the trigger depends on whether you are shooting the first, second, or third round.

      How to I know this? I once had possession of 650 of the damn things, curtesy of Uncle Sam.

      --
      144l. ph34r my 133t l3g4l 5k1lz!
    7. Re:Put down your cheesy poofs and pick up an M-16? by prismatic · · Score: 3, Informative

      The M16 is the original. It did not have a forward assist, and had a three-prong flash supressor, and triangle handguards. It is capable of Safe | Semi | Auto.

      The M16A1 came out a few years later, with a teardrop-style forward-assist, a birdcage flash supressor, triangle handguards, and Safe | Semi | Auto capability.

      The M16A2 came out approximately 20 years later, and has a birdcage flash suppressor without ports on the bottom to prevent a defensive position from leaving a signature. It has rounded handguards, a longer butt-stock, a heavier barrel with a faster twist rate to accommodate heavier ammunition, and is capable of Safe | Semi | Burst. It has some other features, too, which distinguish it from the M16 and M16A1 (like the brass deflector, different sights and a different forward assist).

      The M16A3 is identical to the M16A2 except it has a removable carrying handle with the Picatinny Rail System and is capable of Safe | Semi | Auto.

      The M16A4 is identical to the M16A3 except it is Safe | Semi | Burst.

      The M4 Carbine is a carbine version of the M16A4. It has a 14.5" barrel instead of a 20" one. It has a four-position collapsable butt-stock. The barrel is notched to accomodate the M203 grenade launcher. There are some other technical differences that I don't know too well, dealing with feed ramps, etc. It is capable of Safe | Semi | Burst.

      The M4A1 Carbine is the carbine version of the M16A3. It is used almost exclusively by Special Operations Units, and is identical to the M4 except it is capable of Safe | Semi | Auto.

      And there's probably about a bajillion other differences in pin sizes, hammer configuration, auto sear, and who knows what else that I left out due to ignorance, but that don't matter too much.

      --
      Brian Voils
      "A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students."
  7. The Dark Side? by GuyMannDude · · Score: 4, Funny

    "In order to be a good computer security person, you must think like a black-hat hacker and be able to understand the tools and methods of the dark side," Sweeny said.

    Oh great. So not only do you have to be able to run the obstacle course but you gotta be able to choke people from a distance and fight little green hyper midgets.

    GMD

    1. Re:The Dark Side? by unicron · · Score: 3, Funny

      Most slashdotters can choke people from a distance just buy removing a shoe.

      --
      Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    2. Re:The Dark Side? by unicron · · Score: 2

      Is it so friggin hard to give us the ability to edit our posts? I mean f0 real and shit.

      --
      Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    3. Re:The Dark Side? by unicron · · Score: 2

      No, I was being serious. The ability to edit posts is something evident in every forum software I've ever seen except for this one.

      --
      Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    4. Re:The Dark Side? by MoneyT · · Score: 2

      The whole point was that posts are supposed to be static. This prevents things like a person changing their viewpoint afterwards just because they got bad mod points. Likewise if /. can claim static posts, then it's much easier for them to fight off companies like M$ when they demand the discussions to be censored (http://www.eff.org/IP/DMCA/20020503_dmca_conseque nces.html)

      --
      T Money
      World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
  8. mmmmm... Pot by littleRedFriend · · Score: 4, Funny

    One question on the application asked if you'd smoked pot more than 15 times

    15 times? A day?

    --
    IANAL, but imagine a beowulf cluster of in Soviet Russia all your belong are base to us welcoming the new SCO overlords.
    1. Re:mmmmm... Pot by _ph1ux_ · · Score: 2

      I cant remember.....

    2. Re:mmmmm... Pot by Jonny+Ringo · · Score: 2

      15 times? Times what?

    3. Re:mmmmm... Pot by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 2

      "One question on the application asked if you'd smoked pot more than 15 times..."

      Wouldn't it just be easier to leave a bowl of candy out?

    4. Re:mmmmm... Pot by CormacJ · · Score: 3, Funny

      Actually this is probably one of those questions that TLA's like to use to see if you are paying attention

      1) If you answer no:
      So you have smoked pot then?

      2) If you answer yes:
      Well good luck then

      3) I have never used drugs:
      Bravo. Look at this guy who reads the questions

    5. Re:mmmmm... Pot by loraksus · · Score: 2

      leave the poor reefer alone, he was baked out of his skull when he wrote that. . .

      --
      1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
  9. So? by TheKubrix · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Why is this considered newsworthy? All branches of the military require a given level of physique, same with virtually all law enforcement departments, not to mention fireman, rangers, and private security.

    What else did you expect? Next there will be a story on how stupid people can't join the FBI.....

    1. Re:So? by Frank+T.+Lofaro+Jr. · · Score: 2

      Next there will be a story on how stupid people can't join the FBI.....

      They can't?

      Could've fooled me.

      --
      Just because it CAN be done, doesn't mean it should!
    2. Re:So? by Grishnakh · · Score: 2

      Since when did police departments require a certain level of physique? I've seen way too many beer-bellied donut-chomping cops to believe this one. Unless the requirement is only for new recruits.

  10. Re:The drug requirements by tedDancin · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Yet another case of a rather pathetic "zero-tolerance" style "get-tough" policy

    You better make that "fifteen-tolerance"..

    "One question on the application asked if you'd smoked pot more than 15 times," Sweeny recalled. "Fifteen times? What's up with that? Fifteen is the magic number?"

    --

    Ladies, form queue here -->
  11. Guns by t_allardyce · · Score: 4, Funny

    Its always been my dream, to one day pull a gun and badge on someone and yell "Federal Agent, DONT MOVE!" or something cool like that. Unfortunately here in the UK theres nothing with any really catchy names, "Flying Squad" sounds lame, "MI5" sounds lame, the only cool thing i can think of is "Secret Service" but you would probably have to wisper it because its secret.. :( Even the police dont have cool 4-letter things like NYPD or LAPD. "Swansea Police, FREEZE!"

    I think its important for all geeks that want to join the FBI to get fit, and cherish their ability to pull guns and shout catchy phrases even if they have desk jobs. Mulder had to pass the physical, Scully had to pass the... mmmmmmm.. she definatly passed it :)

    --
    This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
    1. Re:Guns by t_allardyce · · Score: 2, Informative

      Actually the police normally carry lame little sticks, but if someone has so much as a water pistol they break out the mp5's and kevlar :)

      --
      This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
    2. Re:Guns by rodgerd · · Score: 2

      Flying Squad doesn't sound lame, it sounds corrupt. Every few years 8).

    3. Re:Guns by zangdesign · · Score: 2

      the only cool thing i can think of is "Secret Service"

      That's as maybe, but in the UK, you get to say the magic words: "What's all this, then?" and don't even have to sound pretentious!!!!!

      --
      To celebrate the occasion of my 1000th post, I will post no more forever on Slashdot. Goodbye.
  12. http://www.fbijobs.com/ by Monkelectric · · Score: 3, Insightful
    Go apply today :) They really demand *alot* of agents. IF you do their application it tells you to expect to be worked 10 hours a day. I applied when I got out of college but wasn't even considered because I said I wouldn't consent to be posted *ANYWHERE IN THE US* at their discression. There were also some strange questions like, "Have you used marijuana more then 15 times?" So 14 times is ok?

    Check out their policies http://www.fbi.gov/employment/policies.htm

    --

    Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley

    1. Re:http://www.fbijobs.com/ by SoupIsGoodFood_42 · · Score: 2
      "Have you used marijuana more then 15 times?" So 14 times is ok?

      Acctually, 15 times would be OK aswell.

    2. Re:http://www.fbijobs.com/ by SoupIsGoodFood_42 · · Score: 2
      Actually, an infinite amount of times would be ok because they don't quantify the time frame.

      But logicly the time frame would extend infinitly to the past if not specified (well, more likly to your birth, but the same affect, unless you could smoking during pregancy).

  13. doughnut crumbs in the keyboard by deft · · Score: 2

    interesting balance working here.

    some of the programmers i know are brilliant at what they do because they have very little interest in social activities, physical activities, or leaving their monitors at all. almost all of there time is spent learning and soaking up new data. -generally- i find them pretty un energetic and hard to work with in groups sometimes.

    but, if they were doing physical activities, getting out more, they may be better to work with, easier to pool knowledge, and have more energy and focus.

    but would they be as tech smart and on top of things? at what point is the 'geek specialization' hurting the group interaction and thus the goals of forming a unit that works well to serve the fbi and its goal?

    --

    There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
    1. Re:doughnut crumbs in the keyboard by Skyshadow · · Score: 5, Insightful
      but would they be as tech smart and on top of things?

      After flirting with exercise for about two years, I finally started working out on a seriously regular basis about four months ago (every weekday, 1 hour, rain or shine or apocolypse).

      I find that I have increased energy and, as an extention, less need for caffine and a generally clearer head (esp. during those hours after lunch when everyone else is half-asleep). IMO, I absorb information much more easily and am better able to "wrap my head" around things.

      As a bonus, I find that the time I spend working out (I run and lift free weights) is rivaled only by my morning shower in terms of inspiration potential -- you're concentrating only on the mundane task at hand, and your brain is free to dedicate extra cycles towards solving problems.

      That's just one geek's observations; your milage may vary.

      --
      Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
    2. Re:doughnut crumbs in the keyboard by Pedrito · · Score: 2

      ...and am better able to "wrap my head" around things.

      That must be some sort of Indian yogi exercising you're doing. I'm pretty sure if I wrapped my head around anything, I wouldn't even abe able to type.

    3. Re:doughnut crumbs in the keyboard by Wavicle · · Score: 2

      Everybody is different... But research suggests that exercise has the effect the previous post stated on a substantial majority of the population (rounded to the nearest percent, I think it was about 100%). Maybe the places that make these claims are just way out there... Places like Johns Hopkins University for one.

      --
      Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
      Edward Everett (1794 - 1865)
    4. Re:doughnut crumbs in the keyboard by bmajik · · Score: 2

      specialization is for insects.

      id rather work with someone that knew 10% about 10 subjects than 100% about one subject. I want co-workers that are adaptable, that know just enough to get the job done well, and who know that there's more to learn if necessary, and how to learn it.

      the number one problem i have with people at work is _not_ that they dont know enough about a particular thing. its that they dont see the whole picture. they dont have what knuth calls the fundamental difference between compsci and other sciences - the ability to shift layers of abstraction quickly and often when analyzing a problem.

      that whole "well rounded person" thing they were pushing at college ? turns out its important after all :)

      --
      My opinions are my own, and do not necessarily represent those of my employer.
  14. Not joining FBI is the least of your problems... by Skyshadow · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I saw a study the other day which concludes that being a couch potato is worse for you than a reasonably serious tobacco habit. So, not being able to join the FBI is the least of your problems -- being a blob with high blood pressure whose heart is being transformed into a ten- or twenty-year time bomb ranks a lot higher.

    Don't be content to be a fat fuck, and don't let yourself off with "Gee, I'm just too busy to exercise" or "Exercise is for stupid jocks" excuse. There are better ways to flirt with death than to sit on your ass 18 hours a day chugging Dew and eating Ho Hos.

    Here's my 20 minute-a-day, 4 times a week solution: Get out and run. Two and a quarter miles or so in about 20 minutes will put you in reasonably good shape. It doesn't hurt to squeeze in some work with free weights, either, but you can work up to that. In any event, start off slow and work up to your goal over a couple of months, and *don't* let yourself plateau too early.

    Oh, and good shoes are really important. I highly recommend New Balance.

    --
    Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
  15. It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Frank+of+Earth · · Score: 3, Interesting

    .. it was the background check that scared me. What if I was a stupid teen and I did knock over a few mailboxes with a baseball bat [which I didn't..], would they use that against me?

    So worse case is I don't get the job and then I get brought up on charges of some stupid thing I did in my youth.

    "The Background will routinely encompass your entire adult life (age 18) and earlier years as necessary to fully resolve issues that arise. Information developed of a derogatory nature will be forwarded to FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C., for adjudication."

    How many people can answer these questions with a response of No?

    1. Have you used marijuana at all within the last three years?
    2. Have you used marijuana more than a total of 15 times in your life?
    3. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) at all in the past 10 years?
    4. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) more than a total of five times in your life?
    5. Have you ever sold any illegal drug for profit?
    6. Have you ever used an illegal drug (no matter how many times or how long ago)while in a law enforcement or prosecutorial position, or in a position which carries with it a high level of responsibility or public trust?

    1. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by geekoid · · Score: 2

      I can.

      People do stupid crap when they are kids, the FBI knows that, and quite frankly has better thing to do then try to prosacute someone for some minor infraction they did as a kid.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    2. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by The+Good+Reverend · · Score: 2

      Except for number one, they're all No for me...and I suspect it's the same for many people (though I'm sure many who answer 1 also answer 2 with "Yes"). Excluding pot, most people don't use or sell illegal drugs.

    3. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by angeles13 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      no problem.

      but then, i grew up as a fbi agent's kid.
      too many moves and too many schools before graduating high school.

      it's more of the boyfriends that were the trouble.

      --
      design is art - art is design
    4. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Tackhead · · Score: 3, Funny
      > How many people can answer these questions with a response of No?
      >
      >1. Have you used marijuana at all within the last three years?
      > 2. Have you used marijuana more than a total of 15 times in your life?
      >3. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) at all in the past 10 years?
      [ ... ]

      Tack: "Yes sir! I can answer 'no' to all six questions sir!"

      f3i: "...and can you say that truthfully, Mr. Tackhead?"

      Tack: [embarassed] "Sir, I'm applying for the job of computer geek. I had no life in high school. Or college either. I have no life now. So yes, sir, I can truthfully answer 'no' to all six questions, but do you guys really have to keep rubbing it in?"

      f3i: "Well, uh, no, we're not trying to embarass you into admitting you had no life, it's just on the form..."

      Tack: "And besides, steroids? Does this body look like I've ever even exercised it since 1991, let alone tried to bulk it up artificially? Sir? Sir?" :-)

      Actually, I rather enjoy reading government forms as historical documents. Because there's no effective mechanisms for getting rid of dumb policies, only ways of adding them, every government form is a reflection of the past 10-20 years of legislative cruft for whatever government department has to deal with said cruft.

      I mean, steroids haven't made headlines for... gee, about eleven years. I know it's been eleven years since steroids were news because of the date on the form, that indicates the passage of some "for the childrun" law on February 27, 1991, indicating that it was no doubt the issue-du-jour about a year or so earlier.

      (If you think that's silly, try reading the cross-references and subforms on every line of your tax return. There's stuff in there - railroad pensions, etc - that goes back the 1930s.)

      Prediction: A question saying "...had more than 30 MP3s or 3 DiVX ripz a collection of unlicensed music, shared more than 30 MP3s or 3 DiVX ripz with people not already licensed to listen to the music, burned more than 30 MP3s or 3 DiVX ripz to removable media, after [some date in 2004]" will eventually appear on FBI recruitment forms.

    5. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by q-soe · · Score: 2, Redundant

      1. Have you used marijuana at all within the last three years? - NO
      2. Have you used marijuana more than a total of 15 times in your life? - No
      3. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) at all in the past 10 years? - NO
      4. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) more than a total of five times in your life? - NO
      5. Have you ever sold any illegal drug for profit? - NO
      6. Have you ever used an illegal drug (no matter how many times or how long ago)while in a law enforcement or prosecutorial position, or in a position which carries with it a high level of responsibility or public trust? - NO

      Not hard is it really ? what are you trying to say here - the majority of the population can answer NO to all of those..

      --
      I refuse to argue with Anonymous Cowards - if you want a discussion get an account....
    6. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by fishbowl · · Score: 2

      "1. Have you used marijuana at all within the last three years? - NO

      2. Have you used marijuana more than a total of 15 times in your life? - No"

      What if the applicant lived in Holland for a while?

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    7. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by the+way,+what're+you · · Score: 2, Insightful
      However, I would also fly through the physical examination, as I climbed a 9000' mountain on Sunday.

      And it took you long enough! I almost lost my erection before you climbed all the way down.

      --
      example.org - powered by Linux!
    8. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by NeoSkandranon · · Score: 2

      I can. some of us don't need to be fucked up to enjoy ourselves

      --
      If you can't see the value in jet powered ants you should turn in your nerd card. - Dunbal (464142)
    9. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Alkaiser · · Score: 2

      You didn't use or sell drugs...I fail to see where the implausibility of finding someone like this lies.

      Hell, nearly every programmer I hang out with fits these requirements. The ones I know that don't fit are the ones who are more than likely to go, "Wait, you've got a gun...and you're threatening my life? F*ck that, here are the exploitable security flaws in our system!"

      I also don't know who couldn't carry an M-16 through their little course. If you're under 6 feet, don't work out, and are in the range of 250+ pounds...don't try to be a cop or and FBI agent...sorry...them's the breaks.

      --
      Netjak.com independent reviews of domestic & import video ga
    10. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by nEoN+nOoDlE · · Score: 2

      I can answer those questions with a No... FBI, here I come! Oh yeah, I'm fat... nevermind.

      --
      Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
    11. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by tswinzig · · Score: 2

      How many people can answer these questions with a response of No?

      The fact that you think these questions would be hard to answer "No" to is really amazing.

      It's true... some of us have never used/sold illegal drugs.

      What, alcohol doesn't alter your mind enough for you?

      --

      "And like that ... he's gone."
    12. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by CrosseyedPainless · · Score: 2

      How sweet. And you think you can speak for the majority because....?

    13. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Galvatron · · Score: 2

      No, it's not. Same with the military. They only mean drugs that are illegal for everyone, not age-based legality.

      --
      "The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than that of whether a submarine can swim" -EWD
    14. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by tshak · · Score: 2

      It's not unreasonable to expect an adult to behave responsibly at 18 or even younger - it's just that we're generally treated like kids. I don't mean to sound pias, but I know a lot of people who would easily pass these six questions.

      --

      There is no longer anything that can be done with computers that is nontrivial and clearly legal. -- Paul Phillips
    15. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Reziac · · Score: 2

      No, no, no, no, no, no. Any questions?

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
    16. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by jred · · Score: 2

      It's not so much that alcohol doesn't alter your mind enough. It's more the death thing. I've known at least half a dozen ppl. who've died due to alcohol (including my mother). I've known zero who've died due to pot. Hell, I've never even heard of anyone dying from pot. Concievably you could claim gang deaths as being caused by pot, but I'd lean more towards, um, being in a gang.

      So, to cut myself off & sum it up, alcohol is mind altering enough, but it's too *life* altering for me.

      --

      jred
      I'm not a mechanic but I play one in my garage...
    17. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by the_rev_matt · · Score: 2

      I can answer them all with a response of no. So that makes at least one ;)

      If you want to talk demographics, I'm a white male in my 30's, grew up in Silicon Valley where I lived until after college. No, I'm not religious or conservative by any stretch of the imagination, I just find drugs to be boring.

      --
      this is getting old and so are you

      blog

    18. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by extra88 · · Score: 2

      A month?! I feel like a putz for not trying something while I was in Amsterdam for just a weekend. I don't want to smoke anything but they have it in many other forms.

    19. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 2
      I haven't done any of these things ...

      (Well ...) When it comes to pot, I've never smoked but I have inhaled (*) ... at rasta beaches in the carribean. :-)

      (*) Raise your hand if you caught the 'hidden joke' there ;-)

    20. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by gnovos · · Score: 2


      3. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) at all in the past 10 years?
      4. Have you used any other illegal drug (including anabolic steroids after February 27, 1991) more than a total of five times in your life?


      Yes and Yes! I took Sudafed all the time while I was staying in Japan (where it happens to be QUITE illegal)....

      --
      "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
    21. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by StandardDeviant · · Score: 2

      Unless you went to college. ;-)

    22. Re:It wasn't the physical requirements.. by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 2

      There are lots of urban legends about people who submitted these high-level questions and where truthful - as in yes, they had smoked dope more than 15 times throughout their high-school career. Thus they were rejected but a record of this fact was kept. Years later when they needed a security clearance for some job or another, they were unable to acquire it because of the original rejection.

      So, beware guys, this shit does go on your permanent record, and this is not some bullshit high-school principal intimidation technique either. You never know what kind situation you may find yourself in 10 years down the road, don't tell them anything that they might use to screw you later.

      --
      When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  16. Remember, we are at war by GuyMannDude · · Score: 2

    Far more inane is the requirement on marijuana smoking.

    Well, it's inane to you because (I'm guessing) you feel that marijuana should be legalized. However, we are supposedly at war against drugs so it's actually a consistant stance for the FBI to take. I'd bet that the FBI would reject your application if their background check revealed that you sent a check off to Osama, too. From the FBI's standpoint, using marijuana (even a one-time experimentation) is like giving money to an enemy we're at war against.

    Look, personally I believe in legalizing marijuana. But you can't fault the FBI for this requirement. It would be pretty rediculous if the federal government had an official "no drugs" stance against drugs and then the FBI decided they were going to convienently ignore drug use in reviewing applications.

    GMD

    1. Re:Remember, we are at war by Qrlx · · Score: 3, Insightful

      But the war on drug *users* has been a great success! Our prison population is about four or five times what it was twenty years ago, thanks to mandatory minimums that send drug users off for 20 years for possession.

      The standard by which the war on drugs is a raging success is: Correction Corporation of America. They are our nation's sixth-largest imprisoner, behind the Feds, California, FLA, and so on.

      Even better, CCA has no motive to rehabilitate their prisoners, since that might reduce the recidivism rate. If they rehabilitated drug users, they might work themselves out of a job.

      Follow the money, the war on drugs is just another way to fleece the tax base (like when prisoners are mistreated at a private prison, the state who sent them to prison has to pay the damages, because the corporate entity is shielded.)

      Check out nomoreprisons.org for more info. Not that I agree with all of what they have to say.

      And kudos to America, the Land of Opportunity. The land where the same people who brought you the ease and convenience of the Colonel's Original Recipe saw that the War on Drugs created a market for privatised, for-profit prisons.

    2. Re:Remember, we are at war by Golias · · Score: 2, Insightful
      Not exactly.

      First, we have the right not to incriminate ourselves. War, or not, asking someone to snitch on themselves is self-incrimination. The fact the FBI is doing it makes it all the worse.

      Second, we have the statute of limitations. After a period of time, it isn't a crime anymore.

      Third, we supposedly have the presumption of innocence in this country.

      The rights you mention apply to a crime you are being arrested for, but have nothing to do with security clearance screening.

      If, during the screening, you say "I smoked a fat bag of crack in 1982," they can not convict you for drug posession, because of all three reasons you cite (self-incrimination, statute of limitation, presumption of innocence), but they can choose not to hire you.

      That is as it should be. You do not have an inalianable right to an FBI career.

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

    3. Re:Remember, we are at war by Qrlx · · Score: 2

      Amen and Amen.

      I would write more, but I'm smoking b0ng h1ts and my response wouldn't be very sesnical.
      \
      Someone's gonna mod this comment down...oh well

    4. Re:Remember, we are at war by Xaoswolf · · Score: 2
      They don't currently ask you if you consumed hard liquer 15 times in your life

      why would they, hard liquer is legal and perfectly fine to drink. Pot however is not legal, and as such, it is illegal to smoke. The FBI is there to uphold the law, it's the judicial system that is supposed to determine whether the laws are constitutional or not. If someone is going to ignore the laws, then what makes you think that they are going to uphold and inforce them?

    5. Re:Remember, we are at war by Golias · · Score: 2
      You missed the context of my post entirely, didn't you?

      Try reading in "nested" or "threaded" format instead of "flat" so you can follow the discussion.

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

  17. Fat Bastards by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 2
    I can just see the applicant pool now...

    D'ya think Am Sexy. D'ya have any baby's around. Which way to the Gent's I've got to leave some evidence...

    --
    "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
    --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  18. Ethics. by BrookHarty · · Score: 2

    "In order to be a good computer security person, you must think like a black-hat hacker and be able to understand the tools and methods of the dark side," Sweeny said. "Right there, you are in a very gray area, in the feds' opinion."

    That's the MAIN problem, hacker are believed to be criminal. Discrimination is a handy tool for people wanting laws passed, ala DMCA.

  19. Its not just physical fitness by smoondog · · Score: 2

    uncorrected vision not worse than 20/200 (Snellen) and corrected 20/20 in one eye and not worse than 20/40 in the other eye. All candidates must pass a color vision test.

    Considering many males are colorblind and many have poor vision, this is another problem. The FBI is shooting themselves in the foot by having overly demanding entrance requirements.

    The FBI should hire experts in the field they are going to work in. Have officers with guns do the dirty work and scientists do the research. This is the way law enforcement should work.

    Then salaries could also be distributed to be competitive to get the correct people for the job.

    -Sean

    1. Re:Its not just physical fitness by fishbowl · · Score: 2

      " The FBI is shooting themselves in the foot by having overly demanding entrance requirements. "

      You are assuming that their requirements are creating a dearth of recruits or a surplus of jobs. Probably, even with these requirements, they are swamped with applicants, who are COMPETING for the jobs.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    2. Re:Its not just physical fitness by rodgerd · · Score: 2
      The FBI should hire experts in the field they are going to work in. Have officers with guns do the dirty work and scientists do the research. This is the way law enforcement should work.


      Re-read the article. They do exactly that - you can sign up for a lab job exempt from the Agent requirements. You don't get guns, arrest poweers, and all those cool things, and you don't get the kudos of being an agent. That's what these guys are whining about - they want to be agents, not lab guys, but they don't want to have to pass the exams.
    3. Re:Its not just physical fitness by sql*kitten · · Score: 2

      Have officers with guns do the dirty work and scientists do the research. This is the way law enforcement should work.

      "A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." --Thucydides

  20. Physically fit is acceptable, but, by Gaccm · · Score: 2

    If you read the think at the fbijob site linked in the article, it will show all the requirements. It serisouly looks like a sucky job, you must have great health, great hearing, great vision, be less than 37 yrs old, and you will get a starting pay of ~45,000. Also, people need to have knowledge in computer science, hard science (phyiscs, chemistry...) foreign language, and other stuff. The big problem (as mentioned in the article) is that the fbi excepts the new recruits to be like normal fbi agents and run around and go after the bad guys in the real world. Have they never heard of specialization? The only way i can explain it is that the fbi are getting deluged by applicants and have ultra high requirements for that reason.

    --

    Only dead fish swim with the stream...
  21. Not fat, not scrawny. by GuyMannDude · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're not just ruling out the fat ones. They're rejecting all the ones that don't have a buff bod and those who wear glasses. Remember, a gentlemen agent not only has to be smart but has to be good looking enough to seduce the sexy Russian and Chinese evil hacker agents that he will undoubtably encounter in exotic locales. Don't you watch the movies, man? Everyone knows this shit!

    GMD

    1. Re:Not fat, not scrawny. by sql*kitten · · Score: 2

      They're not just ruling out the fat ones. They're rejecting all the ones that don't have a buff bod and those who wear glasses. Remember, a gentlemen agent not only has to be smart but has to be good looking enough to seduce the sexy Russian and Chinese evil hacker agents that he will undoubtably encounter in exotic locales.

      This illustrates the fundamental difference between Kirk and Bond. Bond is suave and impeccably dressed and seduces women to help him complete his mission. Kirk, on the other hand, is fat and dressed in a velour jumpsuit. But he simply sends Spock to complete the mission so he can devote his full attention to the seduction of alien babes.

      The moral of this story: be like Kirk.

  22. FBI rules make sense... by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 3, Interesting

    At least to me. The FBI is in the business of finding and arresting the "bad guy". So it makes sense that all of their agents be in top physical condition and that folks work the street for awhile before specializing. That way the agents know how to put together a case from the ground up, and not have it kicked on a technicality.

    That being said, I would think that they would try and increase their cybercrime fighting abilities by increasing the number of civvies they hire, and giving them more clout. Course with the egos involved that last one might be a bit of a toughie...

    --
    If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
  23. The practices are strange... by Steveftoth · · Score: 3, Interesting

    but don't forget that they want people who can do more then one thing. It's stupid to hire people that can do one and only one thing well in law enforcement. These are the people who need to be able to do a multitude of things to 'survive' at times.

    They are just saying that you should be able to do many, things and may be required to be a 'normal' agent from time to time. If they actually get what they want is another matter altogether.
    Maybe the computer job pays really really well compared to a normal agent?

    1. Re:The practices are strange... by Alsee · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's stupid to hire people that can do one and only one thing well in law enforcement. These are the people who need to be able to do a multitude of things to 'survive' at times.

      Exactly. As a computer specialist sitting in an office all day you never know when you're going to have to chase a suspect up a fire escape.

      -

      --
      - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
  24. Re:You must first chase bad guys with a gun? by Skyshadow · · Score: 2
    But oops! I'm not a college graduate. And I abhor going after someone with a machine gun when tear gas, flash bang (knockout/stun) grenades and other nonlethal options, are equally as effective, and now readily available.

    Well, "equally effective" is a bit of a stretch.

    Aside from that, pretty much what you're indicating is that you'd be a good researcher but a pretty poor law-enforcement agent (cops, FBI guys, DEA, etc all have one big priority: don't take any chances that might not let you go home that night. This includes killing people you think are threatening you).

    Where the FBI really needs to improve, probably, is structurally -- recognize that researchers and experts shouldn't necessarily be inferior to agents and adjust to give them an appropriate amount of influence.

    --
    Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
  25. Re:Forget the physical... by Golias · · Score: 2, Insightful
    While I feel bad for you and anybody else who would want to help that gets eliminated for various recreational substance use (or, as the headline implies, for obesity), I'm personally glad that the FBI is still tough for Joe Average to get into, even if he does grok relational databases.

    Contraray to what we all like our PHB to believe, most technical skills are not hard to learn. Modern development and administration tools make most of the work fairly easy to do, once you acquire the needed knowledge of the systems. Even a total moron (who has an advanced degree in astrophysics, wa-hey!) can run an app in debug mode until he gets it working. What sets us geeks apart (or has so far, anyway) is the desire to learn this shit.

    If the FBI recruits a good person, who won't have an acid flashback or a massive stroke two weeks after getting hired, and won't sell everything he knows to foreign governments in exchange for a box of Cheez-Its, they can train him in on what he doesn't know later.

    Besides, in the current market, you can afford to weed out the overweight, the hippies, the criminals, the people who don't clean under their fingernails, and anybody who uses the wrong conditioner for their ph balance, and still have lots of solid candidates to interview.

    --

    Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

  26. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by Skyshadow · · Score: 4, Insightful
    but i cant run as you suggest, especially 2 miles, i can barely walk 1 mile (if i can at all).. if i ran id pass out after about 100 feet. so whats your suggestion?

    Two steps:
    1. Recognize that your excuses are all self-defeating bullshit.
    2. Work up to your goal.

    Seriously, the only things keeping 99% of us from being healthy are the convenient little excuses we make for ourselves (some people have medical problem, but few are so serious as to preclude an active lifestyle).

    Look around and tell me how many really fat 40 year olds you see. Now, how many 50 year olds? 60? Am I getting through here?

    Being active gives you a lot of things: it makes you more physically attractive to most people, you'll have more energy, you'll fit into a single airline seat, you'll be stronger and generally more able to keep up with life, but the biggie is still this: If you're fat, you're going to die before you have to.

    --
    Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
  27. Then they are at the mercy of a script kiddy... by mekkab · · Score: 2


    It's really simple. Either a few prodigy agents get through and carry the entire beurau, or they will be duped time and time again by kiddies with half the skill set of a mitnick (and most of what he did was social engineering!)

    If the gov't is too stupid to keep up or farm out, then they deserve to be left behind.

    and $45k?! Whatever!

    --
    In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
  28. Re: there isn't a M16 in counterstrike by UberQwerty · · Score: 3, Interesting

    There is, however, an M4A1, which is pretty much the same thing. It's a little smaller, and a little lighter, and it's what the army uses now anyway.

    --


    PUBLIC SPLIT ON WHETHER BUSH IS A DIVIDER -CNN scrolling banner, 10/15/2004
  29. 20/200? by xenocide2 · · Score: 2

    Thats pretty damn poor vision. The definition of legally blind is being 20/200 with corrective lenses. I can understand the reasoning behind it: lose your glasses and transform yourself into a blind agent. Not cool. If your vision is correctable with lenses then you're good to go. Colorblindness on the otherhand, probably excludes a significant number from participation. I can think of a scenario though where that might be an issue (however unlikely and theatrical it might be): cut the red wire instead of the green wire and transform yourself into a dead agent.

    --
    I Browse at +4 Flamebait

    Open Source Sysadmin

    1. Re:20/200? by AlphaOne · · Score: 2

      Seeing as I'm a "color deficient" individual, I just wanted to point out that the majority of people who suffer from some sort of color vision anomaly have absolutely no difficulty in determining which wire is the red one (or green one, etc).

      There has been the rare occasion where I can confuse red and brown or yellow and green wires in my electronics projects, but only when the wires are so tiny magnification is almost a necessity anyway. With magnification, I can pick out the correct color.

      I am green-weak, meaning that I see fewer shades of green than the average Joe, but I see saturated colors just fine. It's only undersaturated (too dark or too light... pastel) colors that give me problems.

      Oddly, those with green weakness can confuse reds as well... this is because the green sensitive cells in your eye are not so much to see green as to differentiate it from red.

      Most Police departments nowadays use the Munsell D-15 test for color vision screening. This is a more "real world" color test and most people with common red/green deficiencies (like me) can pass it. It is only people who simply are completely unable to see a color group (such as red or green) that fail.

      The old method, which is to use isochromatic random dot fields (the ones where you must tell the examiner what number or figure you see), is so sensitive some people with completely normal color vision will fail.

      --
      All opinions presented here aren't mine.
  30. Common misconception about obesity by Loundry · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Don't be content to be a fat fuck, and don't let yourself off with "Gee, I'm just too busy to exercise" or "Exercise is for stupid jocks" excuse. There are better ways to flirt with death than to sit on your ass 18 hours a day chugging Dew and eating Ho Hos.

    It sounds like you suffer from the false belief that obesity is simply a matter of laziness. Trust me, there are plenty of lazy people who are not obese.

    The rise of obesity in American society has many factors, and I think that laziness is a very small one. A much more important factor would be the insane number of carbohydrates that we consume now as opposed to one hundred years ago. Do you know how many millions of gallons of soft drinks (50 grams of carbs per can) people go through in a year? To put it in the proper perspective, consider that humans used to drink exactly zero gallons of soft drinks in a year. And add to that the fact that soft drink manufacturers continue to raise the portion size of their products. Notice that snack makers (carb factories) and restaurants (carb factories) are doing the same thing. It's merely pandering to the "get more for your money" desire which is almost inextricable from the American psyche.

    Also, 99% of diets will fail (read: make the dieter gain more weight, not less) if the dieter is already over 100 pounds overweight. Telling these people, "Get off your ass you fat fuck!" does not help. In fact, I think it exacerbates the problem that you deplore.

    New balance sucks. Ecco rules the universe! Then again, I'm biased: I value my knees too much to be a runner. ;)

    --
    I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
    1. Re:Common misconception about obesity by mizhi · · Score: 2

      It's a combination of both lack of exercise and too many carbohydrates + a greasy diet. Most people want the simple cure all solution to keep healthy (note that I said healthy, not thin), and it's simply not any one thing. Nor is the cause any one thing.

      --
      Humorless sig goes here.
    2. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Skyshadow · · Score: 2
      The rise of obesity in American society has many factors, and I think that laziness is a very small one. A much more important factor would be the insane number of carbohydrates that we consume now as opposed to one hundred years ago.

      Well, of course you're right that dietary changes are a big part of it. However, don't underestimate the effect of a sedetary lifestyle.

      I know of whence I speak here: Up until a few months ago, I was one of those all-waking-hours-in-front-of-a-screen types. I exercised very inconsistantly, and I tried to control my weight through diet. The problem was, frankly, that I just didn't have the willpower (or the knowledge) to *always* eat right. So you're right when you say most *diets* fail -- what I really needed was a change in the way I live.

      I've been working out pretty steadily for about four months and I'm slowly taking off the weight I put on (I'm 6' 3" and 205; I'm hoping to even out about about 180 or so). I also made some other changes, like quitting candy bars and switching to diet soda, but nothing all that radical (I still have the occassional In & Out Burger, I still drink regular beer, etc).

      Anyhow, I think my biggest point was that you shouldn't just disregard your health or assume that you're helpless to control your weight or fitness level. If I was able to adopt a semi-healthy lifestyle, anyone can.

      --
      Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
    3. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Skyshadow · · Score: 2
      People fail on diets because they are weak and don't follow the diet plans.

      That's not really fair. Most diets fail because they're a basic aberration -- to get lasting results, you have to alter your lifestyle (and alter it to something you can *live with*), not just do something specific for a few months.

      --
      Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
    4. Re:Common misconception about obesity by EastCoastSurfer · · Score: 2

      I'm 6' 3" and 205; I'm hoping to even out about about 180 or so

      LOL, I'm about 6' 1" 180 trying to get to 200 ;) I eat tons of healthy stuff, but I think that I am just too active to gain any weight. Between the gym, surfing, and golf (4 hours walking in the heat IS exercise) I stay fairly active. I typically view myself as too thin, so instead of taking down the 205 to 180 you should work on using the stored energy you have there and turning it to muscle :)

    5. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Reziac · · Score: 2

      On the flipside, there are plenty of obese people who are not lazy. Take a tour thru midwestern farm country -- you'll see plenty of 300 lb. men and women who work their chubby asses off, doing hard physical labour, from dawn to dusk, 365 days a year. And any one of them can toss a 100 lb. hay bale 10 feet without feeling it.

      And if I became a runner, my knees would never speak to me again! But I walk about 5 miles a day and do a lot of low-grade lifting just in the course of my regular work. Which is doubtless part of why I weigh the same at 47 as I did at 17, tho I was in much better overall shape at 17.

      "Exercise is wonderful. I can sit and watch it all day." -- Larry Niven

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
    6. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Gulthek · · Score: 2

      "New balance sucks. Ecco rules the universe! Then again, I'm biased: I value my knees too much to be a runner. ;)"

      Or you can have it both ways. I have a pair of Ecco boots for utilitarian purposes, and a pair of NB's for athletics.

    7. Re:Common misconception about obesity by The+Rev · · Score: 3, Insightful
      The rise of obesity in American society has many factors, and I think that laziness is a very small one. A much more important factor would be the insane number of carbohydrates that we consume now as opposed to one hundred years ago. Do you know how many millions of gallons of soft drinks (50 grams of carbs per can) people go through in a year?

      Surely failing to count how many cans one has drunk or how much food one has eaten is in some way lazy?

      I mean, noone made these otherwise sensible citizens drink all that sugar did they? They could have drunk diet sodas instead couldn't they?

      Regardless of the reasons for be obese, people should take personal responsibility for their health.

      It's not my fault, it's Pepsi's, honest!

      You know even if someone has a genetic propensity for being overweight, they could still do a little exercise.

      I do agree what diets will almost certainly fail. A permanent change in lifestyle, not some temporary starvation is the only long-term way to control weight or improve physical fitness.

      It seems to me that in the western world (where I live), people are more and more likely to find an excuse for their circumstances outside of their own home. They had a bad childhood so they're bad people. They were poor so they steal.
      Give me a break! I grew up poor and I stayed in school, didn't do very well, but am at least employed. I take complete responsibility for my life and my actions and my condition. Period.

      Finally: if the next time you go to a restraunt they give you a bigger portion than the last time DON'T EAT IT ALL!!!!!

    8. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Jeppe+Salvesen · · Score: 2

      Being obese is not healthy. But you can be a little bit overweight, but still in a reasonably good physical shape if you work out on a regular basis.

      Even if you don't lose weight, working out is good for your health. Now, I just gotta do something with the massive amount of cognitive dissonance I am experiencing right now...

      --

      Stop the brainwash

    9. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Kintanon · · Score: 2

      Grrr! STOP this crap damnit. The problem is not carbohydrates. It's simple sugars which are a FORM of Carbohydrates, but not ALL carbohydrates that are the problem. A good, balanced diet for most people is 60/20/20 Carbohydrates/Protein/Fat for some people their bodies don't handle carbs the same way and they have to go 20/60/20 instead. But Pasta is mostly Starchy Carbohydrates and is good for you. Sugar is the enemy here, not Carbs.

      Kintanon

      --
      Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
    10. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Kintanon · · Score: 2

      Since we're talking about how thin we are, I'm 5'7" and 124lbs, I have less than 4% bodyfat, and I bench 180lbs and can run a mile at a steady 7mph.

      Kintanon

      --
      Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
    11. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Reziac · · Score: 2

      You're right about the farm diet (except no burgers) -- but try doing heavy physical work all day without eating plenty of animal protein and fat. You'll soon find yourself brainlessly plodding along like a beast of burden, *feeling* starved all the time no matter how much grain you eat.

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
    12. Re:Common misconception about obesity by Kintanon · · Score: 2

      I've spent the last 6 months trying to gain 6 lbs to get up to 130, for a while I was up to 129.7, then KABOOM, I dropped 5 lbs in 3 days and I haven't been able to get back over 125 since then. It seems to have coincided with me cresting the 160lb mark on my bench press a few weeks ago. I guess I just put on enough muscle that the extra protein and calories I've been eatting isn't enough anymore. Bah...

      Kintanon

      --
      Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
  31. Re:It's not the physical reqs that turn away peopl by Stonehand · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Maybe they want people who already know what the limits of what they can and cannot do are, and how law enforcement generally operates.

    That way, the new guy doesn't bollux up an investigation by committing some mistake which a defense attorney can present as a violation of his client's rights and grounds for dismissal. They'd also likely have a better grounding in who and what you're dealing with, on the other side -- and it won't just be against stereotypical "black hats" getting their rocks off by DOSing some high-profile .com, either.

    At least, that's one possible explanation. Another is just that they cut-and-pasted requirements from their other divisions without being overly concerned about it. I'm not a Fed, so I wouldn't know.

    --
    Only the dead have seen the end of war.
  32. Re:Forget the physical... by fishbowl · · Score: 2

    "Even a total moron (who has an advanced degree in astrophysics, wa-hey!) can run an app in debug mode until he gets it working."

    Uh, there's some sarcasm there, right?

    An *undergrad* in astrophysics requires the same
    3 semesters of calculus as any other Physics, or Chemistry, right? Anybody who can pull that off is immune from EVER being called a moron.

    --
    -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
  33. Because they're not allowed to. by devphil · · Score: 2
    So worse case is I don't get the job and then I get brought up on charges of some stupid thing I did in my youth.

    When I was being interviewed by the feds, I asked them about some of the questions on the many-page form. Questions of the format, "Have you ever mutilated small children while dropping acid, selling crystal meth, and joining a right-wing militia/religious cult all at the same time?" etc. I asked, "are you actually expecting a "oh sure, all the time" answer? Have you ever gotten a yes answer? Don't people get freaked out that they're shooting themselves in the foot?"

    The representative[*] chuckled and pointed out that the answers you give on the form, and during the interviews, are sealed. They cannot by law turn around and bring you up on charges based on how you answered. (They can deny you the job/clearance/position/whatever because you're a meth-smoking nutcase, but they can't trick you into putting yourself in jail.)

    [*]Sweet little old lady on the outside, but damn... there is nothing more intimidating than someone who looks like your grandmother staring you in the eye while asking, "Are you now or have you ever been a member of any organization whose stated goal is the violent overthrow of the United States Government?" and no, she's not smiling.

    --
    You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
  34. yeah yeah yeah. by Sarin · · Score: 2

    well I'd do it.
    I would sweat my guts out; cough my own blood up during hellish daily 30 mile drills with a 22'' monitor on my back, for 10 months untill I meet the requirements, all for uncle sam!

    As long as I can kill people with my .45 or with my bare hands, well they'd let me decide, I'm sure ,...oh.uh, wait just a sec, we were talking about a shitty nt4-sp1 (now, stay focussed) socalled-hack-by-terrorists-which-was-in-fact-just -a-bug-exploited-by-some-scriptkiddies-in-the stoneage-or-feature-you're-not-really-sure-but-the -cia-is-shutting-your-mouth -anyhow-so-you-stopped-caring-after-this-thought-r eached-you-which-was-when-you-filled-in-the-realon e(tm)-questionaire (strange how things go sometimes right?)-which-was-recorded-by-echelon-somehow-and- they-approached-you sys-admin-"ish" job here right?

    Well, never mind then!

  35. Re:The drug requirements by LinuxInDallas · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The drug requirement also serves another purpose. By getting someone that has done little-to-nothing wrong during their life they minimize the chance that you can be blackmailed at some point during your career.

  36. So what about the babe front? by GuyMannDude · · Score: 2

    I find that I have increased energy and, as an extention, less need for caffine and a generally clearer head (esp. during those hours after lunch when everyone else is half-asleep). IMO, I absorb information much more easily and am better able to "wrap my head" around things.

    Fine, fine. Whoop-de-do. Get to the damn point, Man! Are you scoring with lots of naked chicks now or what?

    GMD

    1. Re:So what about the babe front? by loraksus · · Score: 2

      i think "wrap my head around" pretty much summed it up.

      --
      1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
  37. Re:It's not the physical reqs that turn away peopl by tunabomber · · Score: 2

    "They'll grudgingly let you past if you just do forensics, but they feel you really should chase bad guys with a gun before you chase bad guys with a computer."

    No reasoning problems here...

    "We don't trust you with a computer, so here's your gun!"

    However, mentioning that the duty of the cybercop is to chase bad guys with computer does put the fitness requirements into perspective... Man, computers are a !$%&@ to carry, especially while running, and I'm sure you've really gotta be built to throw that thing hard enough to take out the perp!

    --

    pi = 3.141592653589793helpimtrappedinauniversefactory71 ...
  38. Lying politicians would PASS the test. by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 3, Informative

    You might as well ask for politicians who have never lied. (That's a bunch I'd like to see take the lie detector test upon swearing to uphold the constitution)

    Such politicians would no doubt pass with flying colors - because they're pathological liars.

    The "lie detector" is not actually a lie detector. It is a "polygraph", graphing several physiological indicators of stress, so that a trained operator MAY be able to interpret them to determine when the subject is lying. And it operates on the principle that the subject will be under more stress when lying than when telling the truth - either from guilt or fear of being caught.

    But a pathological liar won't be under stress. Because he doesn't CARE about whether he tells the truth. MAYBE he'll care about being caught - but maybe not - or maybe he understands polygraphs well enough to recognize that he won't be caught.

    The "calibration" questions at the start are both an attempt to convince the subject that he'll be caught if lying (to cause someone who doesn't care to worry when lying) and to guage how much, if any, stress the subject exhibits when lying (so that pathological liars can just be graded "inconclusive").

    I recall such a fellow telling me about his run-in with a lie-detector screening of a population at his job site, looking for a thief. Calibration in this test was to let him pick one of a set of three cards, put it back, then be asked "Is it the [such-and-such]?" and to silently think "No, it is not the [such-and-such]." Then the operator would tell him which card it was. The subject in question was enough of a stage-magician to recognize that the game was honest.

    So as the three cards were turned, he thought something like:

    "No, it is not the jack of hearts."
    "NO, IT IS NOT THE QUEEN OF SPADES!"
    "Yes, it is the king of diamonds."

    The operator said that there was a curious little blip for the king, but that the card was obviously the queen. "GOTCHA!" thought my acquaintence, who had just been shown that he could beat the machine.

    Not that it mattered since he wasn't the thief - he says, in a perfectly calm voice. B-)

    --
    Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
  39. Re:You must first chase bad guys with a gun? by Tackhead · · Score: 3, Interesting
    > Where the FBI really needs to improve, probably, is structurally -- recognize that researchers and experts shouldn't necessarily be inferior to agents and adjust to give them an appropriate amount of influence.

    What you said. It's a cultural problem.

    Why not allow researchers the time/flexibility to pursue leads with publicly available information, and then pass that information on to agents to do the takedown stuff?

    I can think of lots of ways to monitor areas of the 'net for suspicious activity (illegal types of pr0n, spam for illegal types of pr0n, traffic analysis of PGP-encrypted messages, and I'm choosing to ignore software/music piracy) that, while not necessarily actionable in and of themselves, would be the missing pieces that would make open-and-shut cases.

    "Agent X, here's a letter. It doesn't matter that you don't understand a word of it. Take this in front of a judge. He may not understand a word of it either, but he'll probably authorize the request. The ISP will understand every word, and will hand you all the evidence you need to take $BIGNUM bad guys down."

    (Come to think of it, aside from the legal boilerplate, the subpoena to the ISP need only contain three words: "grep", a regexp, and a filename. The regexp and the filename will depend on what department Agent X works for, but the approach is the same.)

    Before anyone says that's unreasonable search and seizure, the regexps I'm thinking of can be based on publicly-posted or freely-given information such as IP addresses, timestamps, and other data given out by the suspect him/herself.

    Investigators (maybe "investigators" isn't the right word. "Oracle" sounds nice. As in, the Agent asks the Oracle where to get leads for such-and-such a kind of case, and an anonymous voice from within the Oracle says "Start looking here") could be given $$$ bonuses based on the number of successful takedowns Agents made, and Oracles who provide too many bum leads get fired. Agents could continue to get the fun stuff like like kicking down doors and shooting badasses.

  40. Forensics? by Goonie · · Score: 2

    I presume their forensic people don't have to be crack shots and marathon runners. Why require the same for people doing what are essentially "computer forensics"?

    --

    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
    --Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
  41. Strangely, this actually makes some sense by tunabomber · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The chronic daemons out there would know that you might have to smoke pot up to 15 times before you build up enough of a reverse tolerance to get high. So, I'm guessing that the reasoning behind the FBI choosing 15 as their "magic number" is that if you've toked up that many times, then you must have gotten high at least once, but decided it's not your thing. People who could turn down weed after getting high off of it would then be less likely to care about defending its users or advocating its legalization than somebody who smoked the stuff continuously for a period of their life.

    --

    pi = 3.141592653589793helpimtrappedinauniversefactory71 ...
  42. Other Requirements by Superfreaker · · Score: 2, Informative

    They don't mention the many other requirements. While it says you need a college degree, you would need to have gotten it without doing drugs, writing subversive papers, or anything else that a college student would do.

  43. Re:The drug requirements - Not as Bad as You Think by grendelkhan · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Being a former member of the armed services that held a Top Secret clerance my entire career (and honorably discharged, before you ask), the "requirement" is there, but, provided that you are HONEST with your interviewers and stay off the stuff during your tenure, you will pass this part just fine.

    The real source for trouble is financial dealings. If you've bounced checks, forget about it. Money, not sex, drugs, or ideology, has been the root of most espionage cases over the last 40 years.

    At any rate, I was honest with my screeners, didn't touch drugs while I was in, and I had no issues with this area. Now, my ex-wife on the other hand...

    --
    Wu-Tang Name: Half-Cut Skeleton Get your own Wu-Na
  44. diet failures by coyote-san · · Score: 2

    > People fail on diets because they are weak and don't follow the diet plans.

    Bullshit. The reductionists want to reduce diets to simple matters of protein, carbs and fats, but the explosion in obesity during the past decade proves just how fallious their arguments are.

    Diets fail because they fly in the face of what humans (and other mammals) evolved to handle. E.g., as the recent Time magazine article mentioned, if you have a mixture of about the same protein, carbs and fat rats will eat a modest amount of each. If you go heavy on the carbs, e.g., as recommended by most diets (but not the Adkins, Zone and Carbohydrate haters' diets), the rats will stuff themselves. Do that enough, and you have very fat rats.

    From a macronutrient perspective, this makes no sense. From an evolutionary perspective, this is obvious - it's behavior designed to take advantage of seasonal windfalls.

    But as others have pointed out, this is a disaster in an age when water fountains have been removed from many offices, but free soda is readily available in the refrigerator.

    Another good point that the Time article made is that milk isn't just fatty sugar water. The presence of calcium in milk affects the way your body processes sugar and fats (I don't recall the details), so if you switch from soda to low-fat milk you may have more calories and definitely more fat, but you'll lose weight because your body handles it differently than it does carbs alone.

    So, if the best nutritionists in the country are admitting that they're having to revisit almost everything they think they knew, who the hell are you to pronounce everyone who's failed to lose weight on a diet a weak-willed loser?

    --
    For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
  45. I have a tread-mill next to my desk... by crovira · · Score: 2

    Fat? I'm all angry muscle.

    The FBI can kiss the toned, buff ass that sits atop my sculpted, mighty thews.

    At my home-office, when the bull-shit exceeds my tolerance level, I get off the chair, hop on the tread-mill that's facing the window and the tension fades while the sweat pours off.

    At the office, I go for a jog on the Jersey City waterfront and glower at the hole that Bin Laden and his mental midgets gouged out of the sky-line.

    I have showers ten feet away both a home and at the office. I don't stink.

    The FBI are Bozos who'se buffonery is matched by the myopia of the CIA and the ineptitude of the US foreign policy.

    Once again they have ALL fucked up and Al Qeda is on the move, metastasizing because they were forced to instead of being somewhere fixed where we could spy on them, intercept their communications and catch them when they tried to get out.

    Somewhere like Afghanistan where they and the Taliban would have been a drain on Islamic resources.

    They couldn't feed themselves and they were too busy killing each other over the length of their beards (really tough on the women,) to maintain any medical, military, civil-engineering, communication or any damn other infrastructure.

    They would have ended up as shining beacon of religious folly. Islam carried through to its ultimate conclusion:

    A patheic bunch of socio-psychopaths squatting around in a circle jerk on top of a smoldering pile of rubble.

    It would have been relly hard to point to that with pride.

    But NO! Bush, et alia, had to make fuckin' Islamic martyrs out of 'em. Now they're like cock-roaches living under the stove and fridge and in the pantry.

    We'd have to FIND them. But that takes longer than a term, it costs money and it requires dedication.

    Its much easier to go after another fixed target instead.

    Yeah. Right Dubya... "IRAQ is EEE-VILLL. Ah'll kick they ass like mah daddy did." What a moron. The best part of him ran down his mother's leg.

    Next we'll be reliving M.A.S.H.instead of just watching the fucking re-re-re-runs. Bet'cha Korea's next.

    Meanwhile you'd better get ready to take it in the shorts because anybody can get into the US anywhere the cops ain't looking at that very moment.

    And they can buy box-cutters at Staple's and ram high-jacked Greyhound busses into gasoline storage tanks. Two of the faithful dead, thirty or so other passengers roasted to a crisp and a million gallons of fuel up in flames. That's not a bad payoff for people who normally strap some dynamite to their chests and "go hangout with the Yids down at the mall."

    The only good religious leader is some geek with big bad hair hipocrically crying crocodile tears and confessing in front of the audience that "Ah have Sinned! "

    The diffrence between "Blow-Job" Roberts or any of the other fat lying bastards selling "Jayzus" and Mullah Omar is one of opportunity. That's all.

    Don't agree? I don't give a fuck. I just read the history books and the obituaries. I HATE being right.

    --
    MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
    1. Re:I have a tread-mill next to my desk... by CrosseyedPainless · · Score: 2

      Your anger is *delicious*!

    2. Re:I have a tread-mill next to my desk... by loraksus · · Score: 2

      I thought it was "ran down the crack of your mommas ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress"
      but ya, that also works.

      --
      1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
  46. Am I the only one that read this part? by phriedom · · Score: 2

    "The FBI does have non-agent positions for people who are highly skilled in areas such as computer forensics (collecting evidence from computers). Those who don't qualify for agent positions can still serve as civilian employees, according to an FBI spokeswoman."

    Now the "security consultant" says non-agents are "at the bottom of the food chain." Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. But that doesn't seem to be the issue everyone has with the way the FBI operates. It sounds to me like people are upset that they can't be a Special Agent, and carry a badge and a gun, unless they are qualified to carry a badge and a gun. So sweeny can still be an FBI full-time employee specializing in computer security. Whats the problem?

    --
    Don't moderate flamebait as Troll. Know the difference or you will be Meta-moderated.
  47. It's a load of crock by Vicegrip · · Score: 2

    If the army can admit people with eye correction needs so can the FBI. That restriction is a crock of shit...

    Also, if your getting your eyes smacked, it don't matter if you have glasses or not, yer not gonna be seeing straight afterwards either.

    --
    Do not spread "09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0" over the internet, thank you.
  48. Re:You must first chase bad guys with a gun? by phriedom · · Score: 2

    What makes you think they don't do this already? They have lots of non-agent employees. What makes you think some of them aren't "Oracles"?

    --
    Don't moderate flamebait as Troll. Know the difference or you will be Meta-moderated.
  49. What a non-issue... by grent246 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Wow, if you want to be a federal law enforcement agent you need to pass a physical and background check. Is anyone really surprised? These agencies hire civilians to do specialised work who don't have to meet the physical requirements. If they are hiring geeks just to support tech law enforcement they don't need to be federal agents just support staff. The actual agents who carry guns, get out of the office, and arrest people probably do need to go through training which preclude the grossly obese. Also on background checks: as someone who has gone through the process elsewhere they aren;t looking to eliminate people because they swiped a chocalate bar when they were 10 but more to weed out those who have ideologies and weaknesses that preclude them from doing the job of enfocing the law and maintaining loyalty to the govt.

  50. Re:Federal agents are underpaid by blablablastuff · · Score: 2, Funny

    If 45 - 60k isn't enough to put food on the table, I think that weight problem may still be an issue.

  51. Even a little has a huge impact on mortality by coyote-san · · Score: 2

    The peer-reviewed studies are unambiguous, even modest amounts of exercise have a profound effect on mortality rates.

    As for your earlier attempt to run, ignore the assholes. Start by walking 30 minutes. Do that for a few weeks then try jogging for 30 seconds and walking for a few minutes. Over 6-8 weeks you'll slowly build up your muscles, tendons and cardiovascular system so you can run the entire distance. This isn't my idea, it's the plan developed by Dr. Kenneth Cooper, "father of aerobics," and adopted by the military for training their own people.

    A variant of this is to start by walking, then shift to a stationary bike so you can have a constant load instead of the start-and-stop load from the run-walk approach. Again, after 6-8 weeks you can run it, but in this case you'll need to be careful about number of reps since you haven't strengthened the load-bearing tendons and such.

    Finally, I do something like this when coming off of idle periods. I might spend a month on the stationary bike, but I'm developing the ability to work out continuously for an hour at a decent load, then can jump straight into ~7 mile runs on the treadmill.

    --
    For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
  52. Re:Vision, too! by TechnoVooDooDaddy · · Score: 2

    uhh.. 20/200 is pretty bad, requiring correction... 20/800 is legally blind i believe.

    for those that don't know, 20/200 means what you can read at 20 yards, i can read at 200 yards (or a bit further as i have 20/13 vision)

  53. Qalified Applicants??? by ehintz · · Score: 2
    most Federal agencies are having no problems whatsoever finding qualified applicants.
    Then why are they so stupid that they'll charge Dmitry instead of Elcomsoft, or not even grok Sassamans mixmaster relay? Sounds like a bunch of morons to me. Morons who are buff and have college degrees. In the San Jose office no less; the one place where you'd think the FBI would put their best geeks.
    --
    ehintz
    1. Re:Qalified Applicants??? by fishbowl · · Score: 2

      It shows a specific bias to say that those investigations were stupid.

      In some ways, it's better that stupid laws are aggressively enforced. Otherwise they are ignored, instead of repealed.

      If *every* petty copyright infringer had a risk
      of doing time, a REAL risk with a REAL expectation of prosecution, how long do you think something like the DMCA would stay on the books?

      I'm not convinced these agents were stupid at all.
      On the other hand, your beef is with the Justice department, not the FBI. It is not at all clear that in Dmitry's case, the police had any choice but to make the arrest.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
  54. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by ez76 · · Score: 2
    Look around and tell me how many really fat 40 year olds you see. Now, how many 50 year olds? 60? Am I getting through here?
    The joke's on you, whippersnapper because we never leave the house.
  55. Re:The drug requirements by rodgerd · · Score: 3, Informative

    Interesting argument, that one is. One of the reasons the British intelligence agencies got penetrated so thoroughly in the 50s and 60s was because they made homosexuality a dismissal offence (as well a a criminal one).

    This provided the Soviets with all the leverage they needed - because while homosexuality was still officially a crime, it was a crime to which a blind eye was generally turned. But agents could be trivially turned by supplying them with an attractive man, getting photos, and threatening ruin.

    So on one hand, sure, recruiting agents who are squeaky clean can help make it hard for others to exploit them against you, having recruitment standards out of whack with social norms can arguably make the problem worse.

  56. Holy shit by moogla · · Score: 2

    Oooh Mr. Big-Shot knows all his numbers and he's gonna tell us how un-healthy we all are.

    You are an abberation, I'm sorry.

    Consider yourself lucky that you didn't get the hypo-metabolic end of the gene stick.

    You gotta deal with us... you're the freak.

    --
    Black holes are where the Matrix raised SIGFPE
  57. Re:It's not the physical reqs that turn away peopl by rodgerd · · Score: 2

    You can. You can join the forensics lab or other civilian support positions. You can only become an Agent - with all the legal powers thereof - if you can do everything an Agent needs to be able to do.

    The problem the people are whining about in the article isn't that they're being prevented from working in a specialised area in the FBI, it's that they want the prestigious positions without doing the work required. Kind of like people thinking they should be adminning server farms because they installed Linux at home once.

  58. Re:It's not the physical reqs that turn away peopl by rodgerd · · Score: 2

    How about a scenario where you have, oh, say, a drug dealer with a LAN which is not connected to the 'net and have to go on location to get access to it? At that point, if I were an Agent, I wouldn't want to be looking out for some lard-arse specialist, I'd like to know the guy doing the specialist work could cover my back in a firefight.

  59. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by Tablizer · · Score: 2

    (* If you're fat, you're going to die before you have to. *)

    Can you show that the total free time lost to excercise makes up for the extra life span?

  60. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by G-funk · · Score: 2

    but i cant run as you suggest, especially 2 miles, i can barely walk 1 mile (if i can at all).. if i ran id pass out after about 100 feet. so whats your suggestion?

    It's easy...

    1. Get out the front door, and carry a bit of chalk.
    2. Jog (don't flat out run) as far as you can.
    3. Mark the footpath with the chalk.
    4. Tomorrow, jog as far as you can - push yourself and make sure you go past the line of chalk.
    5. Make a new line.
    6. Goto 4.
    7. ???
    8. Profit!

    --
    Send lawyers, guns, and money!
  61. Cheapskates! by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny


    The FBI just does not want to pay for two seats when the fly you. It has nothing to do with caring for your health. If you croak early it is less pension forked out.

  62. No wonder then... by ocbwilg · · Score: 2

    When I see things like:

    "They will not consider you unless you can carry your M16 through the physical fitness course without killing yourself in the process," Sweeny, maintainer of the PacketAttack website, said. "Most of the geeks I know view exercise as carrying the 80-ounce cola, pager and cell phone all at the same time."

    and

    "You won't get a position in computer security until you've worked at least five years on the beat, preferably in physical investigations," Rosenberger said. "They'll grudgingly let you past if you just do forensics, but they feel you really should chase bad guys with a gun before you chase bad guys with a computer."

    Then I realize that it's no wonder that the FBI lags so far behind the terrorists that they're trying to catch, or that important pieces of information slip through their fingers with lethal side-effects. If they refuse to hire the best people for the job, or upon hiring them refuse to let them work in their chosen field then they deserve everything bad that happens to them.

    The war on cybercrime and cyberterrorism is already lost because all of the smart guys are working for the other side. It seems that's the way that the FBI wants it.

  63. Other Federal Agent jobs by forkboy · · Score: 2

    There are still many agencies that are in need of agents with 1337 skills, and they don't have as strict requirements as the FBI. US Customs, the IRS, BATF, INS (Immigration) all have field agent/technician jobs. Their physical fitness requirements are secondary to qualifications and experience. Basically you need to be able to run a mile in under 15 minutes, then do 100 situps and 50 pushups. While that might preclude some people, it's not exactly the pinnacle of human fitness. They are pretty hardcore on the background check, though, but they're moving away from the polygraph since they're smart enough to realize it doesn't work. (Secret Service and FBI poly the most)

    As far as your college degree, what was told me to directly by a hiring manager for US Customs is that they aren't as interested in criminal justice degrees as they are science/finance/tech degrees with maybe a few CJ courses or a minor thrown in. Anyone can learn the depth of Federal criminal code in training classes. It's harder to learn the skills that matter in 26 weeks of training.

    --
    This message brought to you by the Council of People Who Are Sick of Seeing More People.
  64. Re:No wonder FBI is a wreck by rodgerd · · Score: 2
    I'd even hire obese, gay midgets


    They did that once, but it took so long to get rid of J Edgar they decided not to try again.
  65. Re:Easier said than done by koreth · · Score: 5, Insightful
    exercise is miserable. It is painful. It is hard, horrible work.

    Running isn't the only form of exercise. I'm 5'9" and used to weigh close to 200 pounds. Now I weigh around 160. Four years ago I decided enough was enough and made some changes, some big and some small:

    • Diet soda instead of regular soda. If you're a 4-cans-of-soda-a-day geek, this alone saves you a good 500 calories a day with essentially no effort or change in lifestyle. Takes a few weeks to get used to the different flavor but you do get used to it. Later I switched to water and treated myself to a movie a week with the money I saved.

    • Swimming. My condo complex had a swimming pool. I started using it every day after work. At first I just dog-paddled around until I got tired, which didn't take long. But gradually I could stay out longer and longer and started doing different kinds of strokes around the pool. The key is gradually -- I didn't try to force myself to hit some arbitrary time limit, I just swam until I was nearly out of steam, then stopped.

    • Moderation. I sum this up as "put a little bit back." If I poured myself a bowl of cereal, I'd take my usual amount, then grab a handful out of the bowl and stick it back in the box. At restaurants I'd chop off a piece of my food and either give it to someone else or set it aside and not eat it. The idea here wasn't to go on a crash diet, just to cut back a bit while still enjoying what I usually ate.

    • Cooking. Rather than eating out all the time and getting God only knows how much fat and sugar, I started cooking my own meals more and more often. This was probably the biggest factor in my weight loss; when you control exactly what goes into your meals, you're able to control your intake of calories. Plus, believe it or not, cooking is a lot of fun once you get over the initial learning curve; it's a puzzle-solving exercise to figure out what's going to go well with what, how to optimize a recipe to take as little time and effort as possible but still taste good, etc. Unintended side benefit: after keeping at it for a few years, I'm a much better cook than most of the women I date, which can be a big turn-on!

    • Hitting a gym twice a week. Gyms are good for people who have no idea how to start exercising; they have staff members who are trained and paid to ease you into a workable exercise program. You may think only a dumb jock would work at a gym, and you'll certainly find them there, but you'll also find some of the personal trainers are smart, well-educated folks who consider it a personal achievement to get someone started on the road to fitness. The first time I visited a gym, one of the trainers recommended a series of machines I could go through, all of which allowed me to ratchet up the difficulty level at my own pace as I felt comfortable with it. I started off only being able to burn about 75 calories on a stationary bike (according to the bike's computer) but eventually worked my way up to 375 -- hardly championship cycling but enough for steady weight loss. And I got to listen to some good books-on-tape while I was at it.

    • Dancing. A little under three years ago a friend at work turned me on to ballroom dance, and it's how I get most of my exercise now. It's proof positive that exercise is not necessarily a hideous, awful affair. In many respects it's the geek's dream exercise program: it's highly structured yet intensely creative, it gets you close to attractive members of the opposite sex with essentially no effort, it's as much a mental workout as a physical one (especially for guys when the floor is crowded -- you'll have to use the same fast thinking skills you do in a good videogame) and it's a chance to be appreciated for your skills and expertise. And as a matter of fact, I'd say a good 75% of the ballroom dance guys I've met work in technology or science. There's a bit of a learning curve, granted, but name another geek-guy hobby that'll cause cute women to rush toward you but not get that far because some other cute woman got to you first!

    The point is, it didn't take a massive, up-front dose of self-discipline to point myself in the right direction. I started off slow and built up over time, and now I'm in the best shape I've been in nearly 20 years. I'm maybe a bit more stubborn than some, but fundamentally anyone could do what I've done.

  66. Re:Federal agents are underpaid by MoneyT · · Score: 2

    I wouldn't know for sure, but if the bennies that you get for working with the FBI are the same that the Air Force is offering, 45K is well within reasonable and 60K would nicely cover your expenses.

    --
    T Money
    World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
  67. Vision req's by Peyna · · Score: 2

    I recall looking awhile ago, and I remember that to be a field agent you have to have better than 20/200 vision before correction. I bet this would disqualify most of us too.

    --
    What?
  68. It's so you'll try counting on your fingers... by billstewart · · Score: 3, Funny
    • If they see you you run out of fingers, you probably won't pass.
    • If you're having trouble telling how many fingers you're holding up, you probably won't pass either.

    If you start counting, and break out in the giggles halfway through, you probably won't pass, unless you can recover and explain what was funny about that time without ratting on your friends.

    --

    Bill Stewart
    New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
  69. Re:Easier said than done by forkboy · · Score: 2

    MY health insurance premiums are higher because of skinny little pricks whose mouths write checks their butts can't cash. I used to bounce at a rough little bar in NY and call the ambulance a couple times a week to pick up the bruised, unconscious form of tiny scrappy little goofballs like you. Inside, I was smiling every time. I have to pay for YOUR mouthiness and lack of self-discipline. I hope your head explodes in a decade, you deserve it.

    --
    This message brought to you by the Council of People Who Are Sick of Seeing More People.
  70. Call us back when it gets to $500,000 by geoswan · · Score: 2
    ...it's the bind-bogglingly stupid hiring practices in general.

    Let me recommend Clifford Stall's "The Cuckoo's Egg". If you are not familiar with it, it is an account of the year he spent tracking down an interloper at the lab he worked at. As he tracked the interloper he realized it wasn't just some local teenager with a modem and an attitude. It was an experienced guy with a checklist. Stoll watched him use his lab's computer to try to tap into military computers and steal military secrets.

    The FBI are responsible for counter-intelligence, so he phones his local FBI office.

    Now Stoll first went looking for the interloper because of a 75 cent discrepancy between two different user billing and accounting packages.

    The FBI guy isn't interested in the fact that Stoll seems to have discovered a spy. He asks Stoll how large a monetary loss he can document. "Um. Seventy-five cents." "Well son, call us back when it gets to half a million dollars."

    Stoll's documentation of tracking the interloper was doggedly methodical and scientific. This all happened about fourteen years ago. I wonder how much more clueful the FBI is now.

    Stoll did mention meeting one FBI guy who was clueful about computers. Unfortunately, he wasn't all that senior. So he couldn't always co-operate, because of stupid FBI internal politics.

    Stoll's account is quite funny. Highly recommended...

  71. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by MoneyT · · Score: 2

    I could swear I've seen a report or two before that walking briskly is actualy healthier than running. It's less stress on the system over all (espesialy joints) and because it's not as tiring, you're more likely to continue doing it.

    --
    T Money
    World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
  72. Knees by ucblockhead · · Score: 2

    The way to avoid screwed up knees is to avoid cement and stick to running on blacktop, or better yet, dirt.

    --
    The cake is a pie
  73. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by Tablizer · · Score: 2

    You are not factoring in "free" time.

    Besides, having a few extra hours today may be worth more than living longer later in life. It depends on the individual. Many don't look forward to their later years that much anyhow. IOW, quality, not quantity.

  74. Here's the thing by cje · · Score: 2
    The thing you have to remember about a lot of questions like these that you'll find in background checks and security clearances: Answering "yes" is not (necessarily) going to disqualify you. The FBI could probably care less if you got a DWI on the way home from a party when you were in high school, and they're not going to throw the cuffs on you for admitting that you smoked dope in college. There are three major reasons for asking questions like this and digging into a person's record:
    • They want to make sure that you're honest. If they ask if you've ever smoked pot at some point in the past and you say that you have, even if you doubt they could prove otherwise, you're being honest with them. If they disqualified everybody who had ever experimented with pot at one point or another in their youth, there would be a lot of empty offices at the J. Edgar Hoover Building. Nobody cares (well, almost nobody) about youthful indiscretions like this, so long as they do not represent current behavior patterns. What they care about is that you're honest enough to answer the question truthfully.

    • They want to make sure that you've got nothing "on" you that can be used to blackmail you. This is a bigger issue for higher security clearances (i.e., Top Secret/SCI and above) than it is for general background checks. There are all sorts of obvious things that fall into this category such as extramarital affairs and the like. If you've got anything in your past that somebody else may be able to hold over your head and get you to compromise your position, you can bet that those boys are going to want to know about it.

    • Finally, yes, they do need to weed out the undesirables (pun intended.) If a person who is a current drug dealer, wife-beater, or alcoholic applies with the FBI, then obviously they're a moron.
    The point is this: You don't need to be an angel to pass a background check or get a security clearance. It might help, but it's not a requirement. What you need to be is honest. The chances of you getting brought up on charges for something stupid you did in your youth are virtually nil; the FBI has far more important things to do, particular these days.
    --
    We're going down, in a spiral to the ground
  75. Re:It's not the physical reqs that turn away peopl by VivianC · · Score: 3, Funny

    At that point, if I were an Agent, I wouldn't want to be looking out for some lard-arse specialist, I'd like to know the guy doing the specialist work could cover my back in a firefight.

    I know quite a few 'lard asses' (myself included) who could do a great job dropping the mouse and grabbing the gun. Heck, us fat guys better know how to shoot, we sure as hell can't run!

    Besides, where do you think you are going to tap the LAN from? The dealer's closet? Just snake a cable downstairs or, better yet, let the gung-ho guys arrest the clown and take his computers back to HQ where you can crack them while eating your doughnuts and playing some MP3s...

    --
    Viv

    Gmail invites for ip
  76. Anyone else see a pig go flying by? by starseeker · · Score: 2

    "Dancing. A little under three years ago a friend at work turned me on to ballroom dance, and it's how I get most of my exercise now. It's proof positive that exercise is not necessarily a hideous, awful affair."

    That was number 4 on "things I will never see on /."

    Quick, someone bash Microsoft before it gets normal in here.

    It is a good point, though.

    --
    "I object to doing things that computers can do." -- Olin Shivers, lispers.org
  77. Scary Thot by Tablizer · · Score: 2


    The FBI probably has the ability to take DNA samples from skin cells on one's resume and see if sender has a genetic propensity for obesity.

    Then again, the donut crumbs and grease stains are probably a less expensive clue.

  78. Who can the FBI attract at $45K? by Nonesuch · · Score: 2
    Prior to the recession, a "system administrator" (no security experience or training), a year or two out of college, could pull down $45K in the midwest, and considerably more in the CA or NYC.

    An experienced computer security person (BS plus 5 years experience plus security-specific training) in his/her late twenties can easily command $90K+ from private industry. For most people,the priviledge of carrying a gun and a badge isn't worth the salary cut (and those for whom it is worth it, hopefully they fail the psych tests).

    I don't have anything against helping the government catch real (violent) criminals, but if the feds are interested in hiring people with real-world experience, they are going to find it difficult to compete with the salary offered by private industry for experts in this field.

    Forget the disdain from the "Special Agents"...
    A more personal issue that has not been mentioned, is the special hatred all hackers, white or black hat (or any shade in between), hold in their hearts for the turncoats who dare to "sell out", going to work on the side of the prosecution.

    1. Re:Who can the FBI attract at $45K? by loraksus · · Score: 2

      So I tried to join the army engineer corps (demolition) and like, they said I failed the psyc test because I had a destructive personality. Well, like WTF did they expect?
      Shit. They didn't even mention my dedication, I had the chemical formulas for RDX and C4 memorized.

      --
      1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
  79. Fat == Weapon by Tablizer · · Score: 2

    Why, fat can make a wonderful weapon. You fall on the enemy and sufficate them. Plus, it serves as padding when you fall down. In fact, if you are fat enough, there is no such thing as "falling over". A ball cannot "fall over".

    I am gonna grab more donuts and Ho Ho's and become the best damned agent that ever rolled into an FBI recruiting office. I will even hand them a round resume instead of a rectangular one to be more memorable.

    I'll show them.

  80. Yeah by StandardDeviant · · Score: 2

    Dead employees tend to present management problems. They don't argue much but you can't say much good about their results... ;-)

  81. Re:Not joining FBI is the least of your problems.. by Wavicle · · Score: 2

    You don't seem to be factoring in "reality".

    Because in "reality" people who regularly exercise report enjoying life more, and senior citizens who continue to exercise report enjoying life more than their sedentary counterparts. IOW, quality in quantity.

    You seem bent on this hypothetical person who is 4 standard deviations from the mean who has plenty of energy, feels great all the time and is readily willing to give up a few hours now at the expense of years in the future (both raw numbers of years of life, and quality of those twilight years).

    Does your hypothetical person forego showers so that they can enjoy more quality time now?

    --
    Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
    Edward Everett (1794 - 1865)
  82. Re:Ballroom dancing???? HOMO! by autechre · · Score: 2


    I know this is just a troll, but you obviously don't take martial arts at all if you can't see the connection between them and dancing. My jujitsu sensei is very accomplished at Greek dancing, and we often use it to warm up; it's more difficult than what most in this country are used to due to the "odd" time signatures (plus, you're dancing in a big circle, so everyone has to keep up).

    Additionally, being a good dancer requires a lot of strength, flexibility, and balance. Unsurprisingly, some of the best martial artists I know are also dancers.

    (Interesting historical note: at various points in time, martial arts were forbidden in certain countries, probably because the leaders knew that the martial artists were the ones most likely to start revolutions. The teachers were smarter than this, however; they created dances which allowed the martial arts moves to be practiced without giving away what they were doing. My Pentjak Silat teacher refers to this as "Silat in the flowers".)

    --
    WMBC freeform/independent online radio.
  83. they should still hire you! by commodoresloat · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's discriminatory, dammit. I don't think being metaphysically challenged should present a barrier to employment.

  84. Why Is This Such A Big Suprise? by Switchback · · Score: 2, Informative

    Why is this such a big suprise to everyone?

    The purpose of agents in the FBI are for law enforcement purposes, specifically, the enformcement of federal laws. All agents need to be able to handle, or contribute to, any type of criminal case, not just the one they have a specialty in. Just becasue you are a computer expert doesn't mean you won't be working a kidnapping or bank robbery. You have to be able to meet the standards that any other agent meets. Plain and simple. This is especially true for major events like the federal building bombing in Oklahoma and the 9/11 investigations. During these times most agents were retasked to assist in these investigations. It's not like you are going to refuse because "I don't do bombings, I do computer fraud." You're not a team player with an attitude like that and the FBI and other federal agencies don't need people like that.

    Also, I've been reading about the compensation comments here. Yes, we'd all like to make more money, but money is not the reason you join a group like the FBI. I can't think of one specialty in the FBI that wouldn't pay more on the outside world. There are many reasons people join the FBI (other other agencies):
    * Patriotism
    * The opportunity to work with 'the best'.
    * The opportunity to do things that only working at the federal level will allow you (protecting the President (USSS), protecting Air Force One around the world(USAF SP), developing unique CPUs (NSA), seeing what's really involved with regard to world events (NSA, CIA, State Department), etc.)
    * Love of a particular field (e.g. law enforcement)
    * The best training in the world in your field.

    Besides, people with backgrounds in the FBI will be able to make very good money once they leave/retire.

    1. Re:Why Is This Such A Big Suprise? by sql*kitten · · Score: 2

      All agents need to be able to handle, or contribute to, any type of criminal case, not just the one they have a specialty in. Just becasue you are a computer expert doesn't mean you won't be working a kidnapping or bank robbery.

      That's exactly right. Remember that Scully was a fully-qualified MD but she was still expected to show up on field operations carrying a gun.

  85. Mod parent up!!! by gad_zuki! · · Score: 2

    Very interesting analysis of that question.

  86. Works for me! by squaretorus · · Score: 2

    . Telling these people, "Get off your ass you fat fuck!" does not help. In fact, I think it exacerbates the problem that you deplore.


    While I might take issue with the use of 'these people' I have to say that being told to get off my fat lardy ass worked for me - I'm 70% my former weight and feeling and coding better for it.

    Whichever shoes I wear, a 20 - 30 min run every other morning and a swim once a week do the trick. Oh, and I never have any soft drinks, which must help!

    I almost always go to bed a little hungry because I refuse to eat after 8pm unless Im out for dinner - I read somewhere that some boxer had this rule, eat a truckload for breakfast, a bundle for lunch and a snack for supper, and nothing after 8.

    Doesn't matter what you eat - eat anything - just dont eat much of it after 4pm, and none after 8pm. And go for a run in the morning.

    1. Re:Works for me! by chialea · · Score: 2

      As I can't walk in anyone else's shoes, I don't know how you deal with it, but if I do anything like that, I start passing out.

      Just be careful with it.

      Lea

  87. Don't run, just hash by hughk · · Score: 2
    You could try joining the . Yes, they run, but they make it a lot more fun. No, it isn't about smoking strange herbal substances, but there is often some beer involved. The surprising thing about it is that it does improve your fitness over the years.

    Oh, and you can usually fiund a hash chapter in most places in the world. I doubt whether it has started up yet in Afghanistan, but they are already in Uzbekistan and Pakistan as well as many places closer to home.

    --
    See my journal, I write things there
    1. Re:Don't run, just hash by hughk · · Score: 2
      The URL is there, it just isn't closed off. What do you expect, I have given up my job as webmaster of Frankfurt hash so am out of practice!!!

      So, On-On to InterHash in Goa!!! - Upchuck.

      --
      See my journal, I write things there
  88. Running plan by balthan · · Score: 2

    My I recommend the Couch to 5k running plan?

  89. fitness as a character test by perky · · Score: 2

    None of the comments here have mentioned the possibility that the fitness test is not there as an end in itself. I would suspect that the primary purpose of checking that candidates for desk jobs are in shape is to ensure that they are in control of their lives and have the right attitude. Being fit and healthy is a very good indicator that you will turn up to work on time, don't go out on the piss too often, get a consistent and reasonable amount of sleep and so on. All of these things are desirable characteristics for a federal employee. And the bottom line is that if you want to be a federal agent, and you can't pass the test then unless you hit the gym and get in shape, you obviously don't want to be a federal agent badly enough.

    --
    "The new wave is not value-added; it's garbage-subtracted" - Esther Dyson, Dec 1994
  90. Re:Forget the physical... by bblgoose · · Score: 2, Funny

    Never trust anyone whose VCR blinks 12:00

  91. Re:BFG-9000 and a chain gun for me! by JimPooley · · Score: 2

    Then there was the line from Night of the Comet "*Daddy* would have bought us *Uzis*!"

    Offtopic, I know, but I loved that movie.
    The other really good dialogue is
    "You're crazy!"
    "I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck!"

    In a desperate attempt to claw back on topic, I have to think here that the FBI are right about demanding a certain level of physical fitness from their employees. They have a perfect right to do that, and this entire piece is just another example of geeks whining when they don't get things all their own way.

    --

    "Information wants to be paid"
  92. Re:Easier said than done by Scarblac · · Score: 2

    I tried going for a run a few months ago. After about half a mile, I just collapsed. [...]

    As for dying without 10-20 years. Good. Anything to bring an early end to my miserable existence.

    Don't run, walk. If you can't even walk a mile, you're already half dead, but as long as you can still move, you can improve gradually, it's really quite a fast process. And a miserable existence? Feeling bad all the time? Well, duh, that wouldn't have anything to do with not being fit, would it. Being fat makes you feel miserable, because you don't have the energy for anything.

    You have a choice: force yourself to do a little exercise a few times a week (perhaps feeling miserable the first few weeks), or force yourself to feel miserable all the time, the rest of your life.

    --
    I believe posters are recognized by their sig. So I made one.
  93. Re:Easier said than done by Spoing · · Score: 2
    * Dancing.

    I'll agree with the dancing part & women. I'm adding it to my list of weekly activities. Salsa dancing looks like the way to go; lots of body contact.

    Dance is not recommened for geek girls looking for dates though. A former girlfriend of mine was shocked to find that most of the men who were attracted to dance clases were gay or talked into going with thier wives. I ofcourse laughed -- most real men at night are at the gym, a bar, or home watching something blow up on TV. Yet, you can't argue with the ratio -- just don't look gay if you're not.

    --
    A firewall can not protect you from yourself. Turn off what you do not need. Do not use the firewall to do your work.
  94. www.geocities.com/jayseidens - Fitness works. by Havokmon · · Score: 2
    I grew up with this guy and he's ALWAYS been 'big', even baby pictures (and no, he wasn't over-fed). I think I stayed thin partly because I wrestled him all the time. In HS, I was 160, and he was around 300. I was the only one who could put him on my shoulders, spin around, and toss him in the deep end of the pool.

    He's always lifted weights, and got me into it too. As you can see on his site, he's done a damn good job of trimming down. If you have a question, I'm sure he'd be happy to answer it.

    Fitness and nutrition work for EVERYBODY, it's just a lot of large people don't have the resolve to follow-through. I know I don't, so I'm still 50lbs more than I was in HS - but that's better than the 90lbs more I was last year.

    But I can still jump cubes, so maybe Bishop will give me a job :P (Obscure movie ref)

    --
    "I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
  95. There are better reasons NOT to join the FBI by gosand · · Score: 2
    I was actually considering joining, and I am confident I would have passed any physical test. I am 5'11" 175 lbs, and like working out. So maybe that disqualifies me as a true geek. Whatever. My aunt has worked for the FBI for the last 25 years, and after talking to her about it, and looking over the application books, no thanks.

    Jeez, you guys are so paranoid about your privacy that you get all bent out of shape when Microsoft sneezes. How would you feel signing your entire private life over to the agency? Think they won't check out every single detail in your past, especially nowadays? My aunt told me that they were one big family, and that they stood behind each other like a family. Sorry, that didn't appeal to me, and kind of creeped me out. I am not of the "club" or "fraternity" mentality.

    There are two areas in the FBI - support and agents. Agents are the ones who have to carry guns, and go through the more intense training. Support personnell can range from linguists to translators, to computer people. But the agents are what everyone aspires to be, even though they couldn't do their job with the massive amounts of support personnell.

    You can get into the FBI and not be an agent. Just be prepared for what you would be signing away if you did join. I don't think most hackers/crackers/script kiddies would be willing to do it.

    --

    My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.

  96. Re:Forget the physical... by DohDamit · · Score: 2

    Well....at least you're 17. The rest of it is BS, of course.

  97. You didn't mention... by kikta · · Score: 3, Informative

    ...The Close-Quarters Weapons System (CQWS). It's a variant of the M4A1 Carbine that will potentially replace the MP4-N (made by H&K) currently used by the Marine Corps. The primary difference in our variant is that it uses a rail system for adding just about any crazy little accessory that you could ever imagine (M203 grenade launcher, flashlight, laser sight, diopter sight, etc). The diopter sight is standard and I had the opportunity to try it out at Quantico's Weapons Battlion's range with the guys of the Marine Corps Scout-Sniper Instructor School (the FBI Academy is a half-mile up the road, ironically enough). I fixed their computers all the time when I was stationed there, so this was their way of thanking me.

    The weapon is about as perfect as one could ask. And the diopter sight? Awesome. Forget iron sights. This little puppy has a suspended red dot and all you have to do is put the dot on the appropriate part of the target (chest-level @ 200M, shoulder-level @ 300M, head-level @ 500M) and you'll hit center mass every time. I even went crazy trying to get improper sight-alignment and/or sight-picture and miss - it didn't happen. If the dot appears to be on the target, you'll hit it. One of the best weapons systems I have ever used (other than the Mk-19: imagine a heavy machine gun that fires grenades) and I hope the Marine Corps adopts it.

    1. Re:You didn't mention... by kikta · · Score: 2

      Sorry, I realized that I neglected to mention this after I posted. The CQWS has rails out the ying-yang. It's significantly more modular than the other versions of the M4. It's actually kinda difficult for me to describe well, but if you saw it, you would see what I mean. The diopter sight is very similar AimPoint. It will come standard (don't know if that's the case with the M4). The CQWS is an evolutionary form of the M4 line, not revolutionary. They are very similar, but different. From what I understood from them, the primary difference was beefed up railing & modularity.

  98. Look at the hard numbers by coyote-san · · Score: 2

    Have you ever looked at the hard numbers collected by university researchers? No offense, but your experience (and any other single person's experiences) really don't mean squat since there's too many unknowns - are you successful because you're still in your 20s and have high hormone levels, or perhaps you and your friends eat at a local restaurant that uses products with an unusually high selenium level. (Not that selenium actually helps, but it's been named as a possible micronutrient that helps weight loss.)

    That's why I said that the macronutrient approach is bullshit. It might work for some people, but even a cursory glance at any public space will show you that it's missing something very important.

    To be honest, the rate of obesity today reminds me (and others) of cigarette consumption in the 60s and 70s -- by then everyone knew that it was dangerous, everyone "knew" that all it took to quit was "will power," yet tobacco consumption remained high. Plenty of people tried to stop smoking, but the relapse rate was around 98%. Today we know that obesity is extremely dangerous, we all know "easy ways" of losing weight, yet something like 98% of all people who attempt to lose weight regain it (and usually more) within a year. At the same time, over half of the population is overweight or obese.

    --
    For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
  99. cause vesus effect by Tablizer · · Score: 2

    (* Because in "reality" people who regularly exercise report enjoying life more, and senior citizens who continue to exercise report enjoying life more than their sedentary counterparts. *)

    That is hardly scientific. For one, it does not determine the cause. It is like the old battle over whether violent people watch more violent TV because they get off on it, or because the extra TV made them violent.

    I don't feel noticably different between periods when I excercise a lot and times when I have vegged for a while. I might lose say 5 pounds and be able to bend about a little easier, but beyond that, I don't feel noticably different.

    In the short term, excercize makes my joints stiff and sensative.

  100. Why be FBI? by MikeFM · · Score: 2

    Why bother? If you just want to hack and carry a gun you can do that at home. If you really want to you could form some sort of militia that hunts down bad guys. Get enough kick ass hackers with automatic weapons and maybe we can start our own government. Finally be able to hunt down those RIAA bastards. ;) If you just want a paycheck then go work at Pizza Hut.

    --
    At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
  101. Re:Easier said than done by 5KVGhost · · Score: 2

    Good post. Like you suggest, you don't need a formal exersize program. Exersize for the sake of exersize is hard for some of us to justify, but there are a lots of useful tasks that also function as exersize.

    Gardening is a good way to get started, for example. Get some fresh air, some exersize, and you end up with some nice healthy vegetables to supplement your diet and save money.

  102. Thin guys perspective. by Hektor_Troy · · Score: 2
    I'm lazy. REALLY lazy. I just got back from a 2 km walk(!), and my t-shirt is almost soaking! I'm 192 cm tall and weigh in at around 85 kg. I've ALWAYS been thin. My brothers eat less than me (both in the way of mass and kcal/kjoule), do more demanding physical labor, whereas I work as a developer/programmer sitting at my desk 7½ hours a day. Despite of this, they're obese (~180 and 185 cm, and 125 and 120 kg respectively) and I'm the skinny guy. The younger of the two resently lost 20 kg by way of a strict diet and more exercise. He's now stuck at ~120 kg, and has been so for the last couple of months, despite sticking to his diet and exercise.

    Don't tell ME, that it's all from lazyness. Some people are geneticly prone to being fat, while others like me are prone to being skinny. I want to loose a couple of kilos, because I don't like the love handles I'm starting to get, and I don't like the fact, that I have ~1 cm of fat covering my breast muscle. I CAN loose that weight - my brothers can't.

    Finally: if the next time you go to a restraunt they give you a bigger portion than the last time DON'T EAT IT ALL!!!!!

    Doesn't help. Like I said, I eat more than they do. At one point, I actually ate more than both of them, when they were both on a diet.

    For some people, it's their life that causes their obesity, for other people it's their genes. Kinda like intelligence - some have it, some don't.
    --
    We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
  103. Strong v. Weak by Loundry · · Score: 2

    Learning how to break a comfort-habit is hard, but it takes a lot of will power. Comfort habits are typically dangerous to your person as well.

    There is a big problem I see with your take on this issue (and this really goes for everything you've written about it thus far).

    What exactly is a "comfort habit"? It sounds to me like a layman's description of why a person does a repetitive action. I think the reasons why a person overeats can be many, can be complex, can be different from person to person, and, almost always, come from years and years of psychological training. How "strong" does one have to be to be able to break that training? How does one measure the "strength" required to be able to do so? For some people, I think it may be a simple matter of willpower. For others, I don't think there is any amount of willpower which will allow them to overcome their "comfort habit," as you call it.

    I think the problem boils down to this: we don't understand well why some people overeat, and we barely understand how to measure human intelligence at all. I think it's unkind and inaccurate to label these people as "weak." I think "stupid," or "crazy" would be more accurate (but no less kind).

    In the future, we will have discrete quantifiers for all kinds of human intelligence and behaviors. It's a shame that with our astounding knowledge of physics and technology that we really are so bone-headedly ignorant of neurology and psychology.

    --
    I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
    1. Re:Strong v. Weak by Xerithane · · Score: 2

      What exactly is a "comfort habit"? It sounds to me like a layman's description of why a person does a repetitive action. I think the reasons why a person overeats can be many, can be complex, can be different from person to person, and, almost always, come from years and years of psychological training. How "strong" does one have to be to be able to break that training? How does one measure the "strength" required to be able to do so? For some people, I think it may be a simple matter of willpower. For others, I don't think there is any amount of willpower which will allow them to overcome their "comfort habit," as you call it.


      Simple, comfort habit is a non-productive and destruction (or at least detracting) habit that one gets into to provide temporary relief from psychological stress. Biting nails, over eating. Most noticed is that they tend to be oral fixations, which can go pretty far into Freudian psychology.

      I think the problem boils down to this: we don't understand well why some people overeat, and we barely understand how to measure human intelligence at all. I think it's unkind and inaccurate to label these people as "weak." I think "stupid," or "crazy" would be more accurate (but no less kind).

      I didn't describe the person as weak. Go back and read what I wrote. I said they were too weak to break the habit. I consider myself very strong, and everyone who knows me (with the exception of my mother, but then again they can always find a way to needle you) would agree. Yet I can't break certain habits. Granted, all my habits that are actually destructive I've relieved myself of. The ones that I am not free of are not of enough importance to me to break. That is why I am too weak to do it, not because I can't -- because I wont.

      Weak is a relative term, it does not imply the person is weak, just too weak in that area to sacrifice the short term gain for the long term.

      In the future, we will have discrete quantifiers for all kinds of human intelligence and behaviors. It's a shame that with our astounding knowledge of physics and technology that we really are so bone-headedly ignorant of neurology and psychology.

      Many lessor known psychologists have excellent ideas regarding intelligence and basic smarts. The difference with brains and psychology is that no two brains are the same and finding common denominators between them is difficult, but they all exist. If you disassemble a brain, and put it back together is it still the same brain with the same connections and would it detect something different? Brains are funnier things, emotions are even more funny. Intelligence being altered by emotion is even more so.

      --
      Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
    2. Re:Strong v. Weak by Loundry · · Score: 2

      Simple,

      If it really was "simple" then you wouldn't need to label it as such. Your argument should speak for itself. ...which can go pretty far into Freudian psychology.

      Are you a degreed psychologist? Your description sounds like a layman's description.

      I didn't describe the person as weak. Go back and read what I wrote. I said they were too weak to break the habit.

      Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...

      Weak is a relative term, it does not imply the person is weak, just too weak in that area to sacrifice the short term gain for the long term.

      But weak in what "areas"? Are there discrete, qualitified, scientific desciptions for these "areas"? I don't think there is.

      Many lessor known psychologists have excellent ideas regarding intelligence and basic smarts.

      I'm glad you said "ideas." Maybe "vague notions" would be more accurate. Almost everything we know about neurology is based on doing studies on people who have brain damage.

      If you disassemble a brain, and put it back together is it still the same brain with the same connections and would it detect something different? Brains are funnier things, emotions are even more funny. Intelligence being altered by emotion is even more so.

      Was this intended to be convincing?

      You are making brash statements about human psychology but have no evidence to back it up.

      --
      I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
    3. Re:Strong v. Weak by Loundry · · Score: 2

      Not degreed, no, but I have significant University-level psychology education under my belt. Thanks for asking. It is a laymans description, because not many people here are versed in psychology. Are you? Have you ever sat in on a University lecture? Much less taken classes from known researchers?

      You are admitting that you are neither a degreed psychologist nor a degreed neurologist.

      That's absolutely wrong. Go read case studies books, and come talk to me.

      I notice you fail to cite any relevant case study books. How do we know that the occipital lobe does what it does? How do we know what the corpus colostrum does? In both cases, it was from studying those who had brain damage. Scores of similar examples follow.

      As for the rest of your comment, it was completely and totally insubstantial. You raised no points, or counters to any arguments I made.

      Your criticism much better applied to your previous argument, where you stated, "If you disassemble a brain, and put it back together...." How can we imagine disassembling and reassambling a brain when we only have the vaguest of notions of how the brain is interconnected in the first place?

      Furthermore, I raised one question which, counter to your dismissal, is completely relevant to the discussion. You stated that some people were too weak in some areas (to give up "comfort habits"), and I asked if there were discrete qualifications for those areas. Your entire argument is based around the notion that people are obese because they are "weak in some areas." Well, what are the areas? In your answer, are you going to give me some more layman's terms, or are you going to show me some evidence this time? I am not your enemy: I will believe everything you write provided that you can show me evidence behind what you claim.

      Might I suggest going and picking up "The Mind's I" as well as some case study books to broaden your knowledge.

      You are neither an expert nor a professional in this subject matter. The fact that you have attended some psychology classes does not impress me. Why should I be interested in your recommendations?

      As for "Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck..." I'm really not even sure what the hell you were attempting to imply

      "I didn't describe the person as weak....I said they were too weak to break the habit."

      I think these two statements mean the same thing. This is what I was trying to imply. And yes, it was childish of me to do the "walks like a duck" thing. I'll try to be more direct in the future.

      Off the wall statements tend not to bode well in debate, just a side note.

      Nor does the snide and elitist attitude which has pervaded much of you've typed, including your "...just a side note" final jab. How can you expect me to be receptive to your message when you continue to condescend to me? You are going to have to become more humble and engaging if you want to convince me.

      --
      I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
    4. Re:Strong v. Weak by Xerithane · · Score: 2

      "I didn't describe the person as weak....I said they were too weak to break the habit."

      I think these two statements mean the same thing. This is what I was trying to imply. And yes, it was childish of me to do the "walks like a duck" thing. I'll try to be more direct in the future.


      Good that you think that, but in reality you are wrong. Even a rudimentary understanding of English can yield the logic that proves it.

      I didn't describe the stone as weak, only a diamond is tough enough to cut through it. Does it mean the stone is soft? Softer than the diamond, yes, but not soft. Same thing.

      Nor does the snide and elitist attitude which has pervaded much of you've typed, including your "...just a side note" final jab. How can you expect me to be receptive to your message when you continue to condescend to me? You are going to have to become more humble and engaging if you want to convince me.

      If I'm snide, it means that I'm discounting everything you say because it's largely irrelevant. If you perceived my side note as a jab, than you are obviously too sensitive because it was meant as a sincere request for you to attempt to keep the discussion on topic. Your entire comment thread has been completely and totally off-subject and largely pointless.

      Feel free to think I'm an elitist, I just have my opinions and stick by them. Seldom to people understand the difference between confidence and elitism, but there is a huge difference. If you presented a valid argument that was concise, easy to follow, and made sense I would consider it. However, the responses you have formulated have been less than logical and are laced with stupid.

      Prime example, you dismiss ones knowledge because they have not obtained a degree. That's just plain stupid. I have nothing more to say on that matter, or the discussion because it's not the discussion I entered, nor am I interested in carrying it on with you.

      --
      Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
    5. Re:Strong v. Weak by Loundry · · Score: 2

      Good that you think that, but in reality you are wrong. Even a rudimentary understanding of English can yield the logic that proves it.

      Here's the first of many ad hominems that you now begin to spout off. It does not bode well for your argument.

      I didn't describe the stone as weak, only a diamond is tough enough to cut through it. Does it mean the stone is soft? Softer than the diamond, yes, but not soft. Same thing.

      I see your attempt to draw an analogy, but I don't see what the diamond is supposed to represent.

      If I'm snide, it means that I'm discounting everything you say because it's largely irrelevant.

      This is false. If you're snide, it's because you feel the need to make matters personal by "scoring points." It means you are losing the argument.

      If you perceived my side note as a jab, than you are obviously too sensitive because it was meant as a sincere request for you to attempt to keep the discussion on topic.

      Yet another ad hominem. Perhaps you should have focused on your crappy argument rather than on me. You certainly would have had a better chance of swaying me to your point of view had you done that.

      Your entire comment thread has been completely and totally off-subject and largely pointless

      This, too, is false. You tried to pull this in your last response, and I offered a prime counterexample which you ignored. I'll ask it again, because it is completely relevant:

      1. Your claim is that people are obese because they are weak in some areas.
      2. I asked you if these areas had discrete qualifications.
      3. You swept this question under the "irrelevant" rug.

      What are the discrete qualifications for the alleged "areas" that are central to your argument? This is not irrelevant. It may be uncomfortable to you (if no such qualifications exist), but it is not irrelevant.

      Feel free to think I'm an elitist, I just have my opinions and stick by them. Seldom to people understand the difference between confidence and elitism, but there is a huge difference.

      I agree. Your behavior falls under the category of elitist. If you had the evidence to back up your claims, then perhaps I would read your behavior as confidence. But you have no evidence. All you have is arrogant claims and ad hominems.

      If you presented a valid argument that was concise, easy to follow, and made sense I would consider it.

      Let's see if I can make it any more consise and easy-to-follow than this: What are the discrete qualifications for the alleged "areas" that you speak of and are central to your argument?

      However, the responses you have formulated have been less than logical and are laced with stupid.

      And yet you fail to produce a single example of this. Thus, it's merely another ad hominem.

      Prime example, you dismiss ones knowledge because they have not obtained a degree. That's just plain stupid.

      I did not dismiss your knowledge. You apparently failed to see what I was trying to show. I'll spell it out for you now so that there will be no confusion.

      You were attempting to belittle my knowledge by showing that you had attended more classes in psychology and read more case studies books than I had done. I was showing you that, since you were not a degreed professional, you really had no more right to speak on this topic than a 19-year-old punk in the middle of a liberal arts education who has just happened to have mostly-slept-through two psychology classes and scanned two case studies books that were required reading for those two classes. Who knows, maybe this description fits you perfectly. Since I don't know you, I have no way of knowing otherwise.

      Keep in mind that I have never pretended to be a professional in any of these arenas. I have posited skepticism, not belief. I'm sorry that "I don't believe it; what is the evidence?" was not consise enough for you to follow. It has made debating with you a chore.

      I have nothing more to say on that matter, or the discussion because it's not the discussion I entered, nor am I interested in carrying it on with you.

      With your tail between your legs you flee from the discussion. As usual, what you say is not nearly as important as what you didn't say. You have failed to show that obesity is caused by weakness in some "areas" because you cannot define what those "areas" are.

      Instead of trying to prove your point, you've spent a lot more time attacking me personally through condescending, snide, and insulting language. What do your psychology classes and case studies books tell you about this behavior?

      And if I'm really as stupid, hypersensitive, and illogical as you imply, then why have you wasted so much time talking to me? What do your psychology classes tell you about this behavior?

      --
      I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
    6. Re:Strong v. Weak by Loundry · · Score: 2

      No, I don't care about swaying you to my point of view. In all honesty, I think you are either an idiot, or someone who has great difficulty in authoring clear debate articles.

      If your argument didn't suck so bad, you wouldn't have to be so defensive like this. Your opinion of me is of no consequence. I don't see how you claim that my debate articles are not clear when yours are riddled with unanswered questions, unsupported claims, and unnecessary personal attacks.

      First, you ignored my original case statements.

      There was nothing to ignore. You wrote, "Go read case studies books, and come talk to me." Well, which ones was I supposed to read? Furthermore, I asked you why your reccomendation should carry any weight with me.

      Second, you challenged my authority to have an opinion on the subject.

      You are most welcome to your opinion. So is the 19-year-old college punk who slept through two psychology classes and skimmed two case studies books which were required reading. What I was saying is that your opinion didn't impress me because I had no reason to think that you weren't the college punk that I described. I've seen plenty of college kids get on an intellectual high horse after taking a single psychology class (as if college kids weren't already the smartest and coolest people on the planet).

      Third, you brought neurology into it, which even with my brain-related paragraph, has nothing to do with it really.

      I disagree. Neurology and psychology are quite related.

      Fourth, you did not say, "I don't believe it; what is the evidence?"

      In message 4205718 I wrote, "You are making brash statements about human psychology but have no evidence to back it up." At this point you could have written, "Oh, yes I do! And here is the evidence...." Instead of that, you started getting personal. What does that look like? It looks like you had no evidence and starting to get mad that you weren't getting your way.

      what possible reason do I have to say such an opinion which boils down to one sentence which you seem to have personal issues with.

      That's one hell of a run-on sentence! Anyways, you seem awfully interested in talking about my personal issues. I'm much more interested in getting you to defend your argument, which you have done an awful job of doing thus far.

      No, I wasn't attempting to belittle your knowledge. I was telling you that saying such things as, "So you admit you have no degree..." and "...you are neither a degreed expert or professional" is stupid, when talking about knowledege.

      In message 4207303 you wrote, "It is a laymans description, because not many people here are versed in psychology. Are you? Have you ever sat in on a University lecture? Much less taken classes from known researchers?" This is what I was referring to when I wrote that you were attempting to belittle my knowledge, and this happened before I wrote, "You are admitting that you are neither a degreed psychologist nor a degreed neurologist."

      I don't have a P.h.D. but I've met tons I know more about CS than, does that mean since they have a higher degree they win an argument even when their wrong?

      You're still missing the point.

      Fine, since you actually managed to post a related question instead of going into the neurology of it, which has absolutely nothing to do with it I'll provide some backing.

      Yay! I *finally* get an answer out of you! Next time, skip all the personal attacks and just provide the evidence for your claims.

      If you are familiar with Greek philosophy...

      And you accuse me of digressing!

      As through the time, since the late 1800's when psychology was starting to become a real science, the main pursuit was to try to understand human memory, and also relate it to our behaviors. This is the reason as to why many obese people belong into the habitual over-eaters [google.com] category. In most cases, this stems from a developmental disorder early on in life. Freudian psychology would trace this back to the oral developmental phase, but I believe rarely that is actually the case.

      What does this have to do with the qualifications of the "areas"?

      Many people suffer from this eating disorder. They find solace and comfort in eating, only to do it again when the self destructive cycle repeats itself. If you look at over-eater groups, you will see that they deal with finding the cause, and breaking the habit. They don't put people on strict calorie counting diets. It's a psychological help group. Unfortunately, more people need the outside assistance instead of isolating their own issues and helping themselves. As long as they get help, they are on the right step.

      More layman's terminology. Again, what does this have to do with the qualification of the "areas"?

      The weakness comes from the lack of insight and strength to look into their inner mind, and attempt to find why they overeat, and what they hope to accomplish.

      So now the "areas" have become something having to do with looking into one's "inner mind," whatever that is.

      That is why they are too weak, not because they are weak individuals. Because they do not have the strength to break the cycle, and help themselves obtain a happier life.

      And now the "areas" have something to do with breaking a cycle.

      This does not match all cases, there is the obseity gene which, unfortunately, means no matter how strong the person is, life dealt them a bad hand.

      If this is true (and I've seen no evidence that it is), then it works against, not for, your argument.

      However, a simple glance and at American Vs. Asian or European population will show that Americans are largely overweight in comparison.

      And why is this? According to you, it is because obese people are "weak in some areas." I think the causes are more complex than that, and weakness is a grossly inadequate term to try and describe them. What is the difference between emotional strength and emotional intelligence? I see no reason to treat them as separate or different things.

      In conclusion, purely judging a person on their weight is foolish.

      In conclusion, there are no discrete qualifications for these "areas" you speak of and are central to your argument. I think your argument comes off as one that is manufactured by an arrogant, know-it-all college kid, not one based on sound research and solid evidence. The fact that you had to sink to invective when your claims were challenged supports this.

      I don't think you're an idiot. At this point, I have no confidence that you can generate anything which will support your argument.

      --
      I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.