Slashdot Mirror
What to Get My Geek for Valentine's Day?
A reader writes "Help!!! I've been dating my geek for three months and I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So I thought I'd ask the men of Slashdot what they would want as a Valentine's Day gift. I'm looking for something out of the ordinary that will knock his socks off. Somthing clever, crafty and unique. The budget is $100. My geek's interests are typical geek fare, games, computers, music and gadgetry. So! You, men of Slashdot, tell me what you would want to recieve for Valentine's day and help me make my geek happy."
give him a blow job
A greased up yoda doll!
Buy him/her some SCO stocks... not for the profit, but for the historical value.
nuff said....
stop calling him GEEK every other sentence. That's a start.
and get yourself some coded underwear.
Just don't get it backwards-- wear the 200 ones when you are gearing to go.
Dress as:
- Seven of Nine (Star Trek)
- Princess Leah (You know, the mini stuff)
What else? ohh...he might wanna have sex with you but our kind is used to rejection so it should be ok.
I'm sure most men here would just like a girlfriend at all.
Maybe you could get him some soap, a razor or decent clothes.
A room that is NOT in the basement would probably be good, too.
Sunlight is also a good possibility.
She asked what _her_ geek, who HAS a girl, would like. Not what YOU want so badly.
and share some lap dances. If he's in any way normal, he'll enjoy watching you get the dances more than getting them himself.
Yeah, and for the $100 stated in the article, that is like a 5" LCD. drool!
-- Having a Creationist Museum is like having an Atheist place of worship
All geeks would love an Windows XP license or subscription to MSDN.
(I'm jealous and trying to break you up)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
All of my base
Are belong to you
More importantly, what happens on the 'other' holiday? Don't 'stiff' your geek on that day either! (pun intended)
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
Not even an iPod? Dude, they've got 40GB ones now.
Bow, nigger. h
OSDN personals powered by match.com?
That's so cruel!
Free Manning, jail Obama.
Wait, you are actually suggesting that a non-geek figured out the user interface of Slashdot?? :)
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
Sheesh, talk about your sycophantic posts, Were you angling for a discount. Here are more a few more realistic things you can get:
- get undressed and possibly into a leather and chains (with whip) outfit. Substitute rubber or lingerie according to (his) taste.
- get out the KY
- get a couple of your/his friends around
- get at it
If he gets presents like these, he's soon be much happier about turning older each year.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
So what you're saying is, do your best to keep him off his computer. You probably won't succeed, but ripping the master breaker out of the panel and hiding ALL extension cords could be a good start!
Geeks also appreciate it when you dress up as Princess Leia in her slave outfit from Return of the Jedi.
Prepere by lubing two fingers of one hand. Have him stand up an kneal in from of him, start giving him a regular blow job, the towards the end of it slip the two finger up his bum.
Known as the "Two finger monty".
He will absolutely love it!
FRA: STFU GTFO
I would also suggest a Leatherman
I don't know if that's such a great idea.
~jeff
Hot, wild monkey sex
Monkey sex? Pff, I'd rather just have an army of monkeys. With that I could take over the world and get sex whenever I wanted.
he is probably the guy that said blowjob
Heh the HTTP Panties Valenties Box is pretty funny. http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/valentines/6796 /
Although they forgot some errors that would be equally amusing
402 "Payment Required"
405 "Method not Allowed"
411 "Length Required"
500 "Internal Server Error" (you know, for that time of the month)
503 "Service Unavailable"
If you've read this far I'm sure you can tell I'll be on my own for Valentine's Day. Fuck.
...and of course, give him whatever is left of that hundred bucks in ca$h.
Now there's a thought... Slashdotting someone's girlfriend...
I decided to give up my chance to moderate this story because I couldn't find a -1 "Too Informative" mod for this.
Thats it, if we all work together, maybe one of us can get lucky.
Is it bad that I thought he was going to say linux?
If your geek has a girlfriend he doesn't need a present too. Buy chocolate for yourself.
Need Mercedes parts ?
Right here.
My ex said this looked cool AFTER we broke up. Grrrrr.....
Seiously, though, I think this'd be every geek's dream come true.
#define sig "Every social system runs on the people's belief in it."
My suggestion for a three-month relationship: give him the high order 32 bits of the prime factors of the modulus of your RSA private key.
Give 96 mores bits at your 1 year anniversery. 64 more bits at your engagement, and 192 bits at your wedding.
You missed:
307 "Temporary Redirect"
This is a much more user friendly response than a 50x error when monthly maintenance is underway.
the growth in cynicism and rebellion has not been without cause
A discussion on slashdot devoted to him.
Well there are only a limited number of ports to begin with and the administrator may very well have closed off at least one of them. After that you've got simple load-bearing issues as to how many users can be served simultaneously. The system doesn't scale particularly well on its own and you're likely to get a great number of dropped packets from clients even if the host is set to promiscuous.
A mirror or two can help, but not nearly enough to distribute the load. You'll need to get a whole server farm going just to be able to handle a moderate number of requests.
Shouldnt it be 503 "Cervix Unavailable"?
emt 377 emt 4
It's the 21st Century, you never know.
LOL.. never has ThinkGeek's "see this item in action" feature seemed so useful.
I made a PHP/MySQL library that prevents SQL injection & makes coding easier!
All geeks love sex. Its fun, free, and a good cardiovascular workout.
Today is the day I realised that I'm a dork :-(
Shell out an extra $599 and get him a SCO license
you may find the Higgs in this signature.
the most reserved females out there become total sluts
Which only goes to prove there's good in the meanest of us.
Some people get of on seeing a girl with lots of dropped packets.
Someone set us up the bomb, so shine we are!
His girlfriend must read /.
Bring on the asteroid
Couldn't we just mirror her?
he has the thing most geeks want but cant get already.
No. I'm making a juvenile expansion on the parent comment along the lines of grep|finger|mount|fsck
/booty" instead of "mount /boot." Needless to say, a couple of non-tech-savvy friends (who happened to be looking over my shoulder at the time) were very curious as to what kind of relationship I had with my computer.
Heh, that reminds me of a time when I was doing some work on my computer in the terminal, and accidentally typed "mount
And, some people drop their packet upon seeing a girl ...
The Ezine Directory
Yeah...but it's been done. I broke up with my last girlfriend after I found out she served more requests than Apache.
For the geek who likes music, here is guaranteed geeky music. Yeah, sure, lots of guys play guitars, drums, etc. Some may even scratch on a violin. But how many play the bagpipes! Hard to learn? Sure, but so was programming. It's a challenge. But when he learns, think how sexy he'll look in a kilt!
WARNING: If you own a dog, the duets may be less than melodious.
"Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love." --William Shakespeare ('Love's Labors Lost')
all my base are belong to you.
Looks like somebody touched one of the renaissance man's nerves.
If you really care and your significant other is really a Geek,
a great gift is to let him know what you want him to get YOU on the holiday as well as where to eat.
How can YOU prevent the following conversation?
"Honey," (he begins ever so sweetly), "Where would you like dine?"
"Oh, I don't know dear, surprise me."
"But dear, my love of food means that there isn't a restaurant on planet earth that I don't like and you were so unhappy the fourth time Christmas week I took you to MickeyDee's, there was no lovin' for weeks after."
"Just pick a romantic place, OK?"
"Bunchkins, just name one or two or three you like, and I'll be more than happy to pick one."
(Tone at this point turns icy.) "That is NOT romantic. I want you to surprise me with a romantic choice."
"My love, when I surprised you on your birthday with a McFlurry and a hot McPie with a candle on top, I thought you would appreciate the originality. Instead, I obviously did something wrong when you threw it at me. Please just tell me what you would like."
"What I would like is for you to have a romantic thought. And since you want advice, make sure your gift is romantic, but not too flashy or ostentatious."
"Dearest, I am just too Geeky to translate the word 'romantic' into the most appropriate gift and dinner. I know you love me despite my geekiness. Couldn't you just give me a note with the details of what to get you and where to take you?"
"If you ever want affection even once in you life after the holiday, I suggest you drop this conversation now and do what you need to do."
Geek mutters under breath, "I should have slit my wrists a long time ago."
Live Long and Prosper - Thanks Leonard. You are missed.
-- SYS 64738 --
They're called "performers" and those watching are called the "audience". Why are you arguing the technicalities on Girl on Girl on Guy threesomes, if all you have to worry about is correct terminology then you're 10 steps ahead of the game man ....
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
Buy him a license from SCO. I'm sure he'll love it.
Quagmire: Good thing we swore off women so we wouldn't be distracted and unable to accumulate this vast amount of wealth.
Peter: Yes. You watch the ticker. I'm gunna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Give him something *really* special!
Double-team him with one of your girl friends!
Uhhh..... I meant to say that I dated a GEEK. Can y'all feel me blushing?
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history.
MOD PARENT UP!
My g/f rented a street walker for us one night. It was the greatest 45 seconds of my life.
hey babes, i have gone thro some trouble to get thro u so u better listen to this, men are the same everywhere, so blow jobs are great for them, lazy bums cant do it on their own, maybe 2 on that day wuid do the trick , but the best wud be if u wud give him his choice of food and an oil massage with a scrub bath, think about it , they all are lazy. but make sure u dont over do it so he knwos this was a gift not something he shud expect every day.
you just posted on slashdot, and you posted about oral sex. i dont think its possible to count the number of slashdot guys who want to be your valentines day date right now.
You may want to turn a little bit of your attention to learning some basic French while you're at it...
"There is no beast as dangerous an enemy to mankind as christians are to one another" - Ammianus Marcellinus
just don't forget to store a nice picture of you on it! (Will make a nice surprise the first time he uses the drive)...
...at work.
"OOPS!!. You guys weren't supposed to see that!"
I'm a motorcycle safety instructor, and we definitely advise against riding your bike while engaging in any kind of dog training. Throw in taking pictures and sketching while thinking in mangled french and you're definitely angling for a crash. tp