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Star Wars Episode III : Birth Of The Empire

lemmen writes "According the Brtish tabloid The Sun, Star Wars III will carry the name 'Birth Of The Empire'. This will be announced soon according the article. Also it describes one of the highlights of the movie: 'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.' Can't wait till May 15th 2005!" Thanks to reader ExoticMandibles, another quality news source: Teen Hollywood. Update: 05/20 05:47 GMT by T : Gokey writes with a correction: "StarWars.com indicates that the movie is released May 19th, 2005 (exactly one year from now) not May 15th, 2005."

49 of 970 comments (clear)

  1. "Birth of the Empire"? by Radon+Knight · · Score: 5, Funny

    I suppose the only consolation is that it could have been worse. How, exactly, is eluding me at the moment, but I am sure that it could have been.

    1. Re:"Birth of the Empire"? by macshune · · Score: 5, Funny

      Exactly! The title is some sort of weird grandfather paradox. This movie gives birth to the characters that inhabit the earlier movies later in time that give Lucas the money to create his empire so that he can make the former movies to create his empire because his empire is dependent on the characters that are in Birth of the Empire.

      ...right? Hmmmm, I predict that the reply to this post that asks, "Huh?" will get +5 Funny.

    2. Re:"Birth of the Empire"? by silverbolt · · Score: 5, Funny

      Huh ?

    3. Re:"Birth of the Empire"? by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny

      If Episode III is "Birth of the Empire", then that would make the two before it "Painful Contractions of the Empire".

  2. Surfing on lava? by Andorion · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... sorry, brain seems to be malfunctioning.

    ~Berj

    1. Re:Surfing on lava? by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

      Makes sense. I bet they are even going to jump right over a lava shark.

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
    2. Re:Surfing on lava? by BuddieFox · · Score: 5, Funny

      "sorry, brain seems to be malfunctioning."

      Well, considering the quality of the past two Star Wars movies, estimates say that George Lucas's brain did the same thing ca 1984..

    3. Re:Surfing on lava? by 3Suns · · Score: 5, Funny

      Seriously, what is Anakin thinking?? He could get seriously, permanently burned... or worse! ...

      --

      -3Suns

      ~~~~
      The Revolution will be Slashdotted
    4. Re:Surfing on lava? by cdrudge · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah...cause light sabers, Jabba the Hut, and giant DeathStar are just so believable.

    5. Re:Surfing on lava? by cbovasso · · Score: 5, Funny

      Its about time a movie involved lava surfing. Haven't we suffered long enough without a good lava surfing scene? Think of the character development possibilities!

      Lava surfing = Oscar.

      --
      I ask for a car and I get a computer. How's about that for being born under a bad .sig?
    6. Re:Surfing on lava? by FiDooDa · · Score: 5, Funny
      but "lava surfing" has my hopes wayyyy down at the moment.

      Then it all fits together with episode 4 a new hope ;)

  3. Did you not hear the rumors? by Xhad · · Score: 5, Informative

    For awhile everyone thought it was going to be called "The Creeping Fear".

  4. Just one more push Mrs. Sideous .... by pyros · · Score: 5, Funny

    Aahhhhh, it's a Vader! Congratulations.

  5. Re:I'll wait... by ForestGrump · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Its "news" coming from a tabloid. How much credibility should I give it?

    I would trust Maxim more...but that is only because I have a subscription to it.

    -Grump

    --
    Is it true that more people vote for the winner of American Idol, than vote for the president? -Ali G.
  6. Keep Continuity. PLEASE Don't Make It Stupid Surf by kannibal_klown · · Score: 5, Funny

    I vaguely remember that much of Anakin's damage (and the subsequent need of the Darth-suit for life support) was due to him and Ben fighting near lava or plasma. So, I'm glad that's still in there.

    But I swear to God in heaven! If the battle consists of Ben and Anny fighting while surfing on 2 rocks floating on a lava flow, I'm walking out.

    Knowing Lucas lately, they'll be Beach Boys playing in the background, and Anny will be catchign some "serious air, maannnnn".

  7. What a coincidence... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's exactly how I would have described my feelings about more prequels after the first one.

    1. Re:What a coincidence... by Hits_B · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ohhhhh the irony...the very ones that are already bitching about the movie before it is even released will be the first ones in line. And probably in some lame stormtrooper getup they made out of styrofoam and a sharpie

  8. Great title..not by fliptout · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is one birth that should have been aborted.

    --
    A witty saying proves you are wittier than the next guy.
  9. or... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Anakin dies... Episode 7 comes out months later revealing that JarJar is ObiWan's new Padawan and that episodes 4-6 were just a dream. New franchise of starwars movies announced.

  10. Surfing on lava makes sense by Gothmolly · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Heck, for a Jedi, WALKING on lava is possible. That might be a cool fight - each has to walk on the lava, then they're using the Force to stay walking on the surface w/o dying - Annakin somehow losing his concentration, and slipping into the lava.

    --
    I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
  11. Spoiler alert by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny
    "The sixth movie in the series also features Anakin's transformation into evil Darth Vader and his baby son, Luke, being smuggled to safety to the desert planet Tatooine."

    Holy crap! Darth Vader is Luke's father? Way to spoil the ending for me, guys.

  12. Re:hmmmm.... i wonder.... by kannibal_klown · · Score: 5, Funny

    The story of Anakin's physical transformation was already told in books from a WHILE back.

    But yeh, it goes something like that.

    At least Lucas didn't completely shred everything and say "you know, I think we should make him wear the suit because Jar Jar accidentally superglues it to his head."

  13. embracing the videogame market by timothy · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Just the like the ludicrous "pod race" in Ep. I, and the (admittedly cute) hovering-Yoda saber fight in II, the only possible rational justification is videogame possibilities. Just like scenes where people and robots get tossed by-complete-coincidence onto moving conveyor belts with stamping machinery ...

    Remember, A-B-B-A-up will let you kick-flip your lava board; B-B-A-B-down-up does a stalefish grab.

    timothy

    --
    jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
  14. Re:No kidding! by Ummagumma · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The Star Wars franchise 'jumped the shark' with the Ewoks dancing at the end of EP 6.

    --
    "The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." - Thomas Jefferson
  15. Class vs. Camp by addie · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is not surprising, but it is depressing. I know that every one of you reading this comment has seen the Luke vs. Vader lightsaber fight in Ep6. It was classic, I would almost call it artful. The lighting, the music, the overall mood was just fantatsic moviemaking.

    So what do we have to follow this up? Fighting on lava surf boards? That's just stupid. I wish I could say it more eloquently, but it's just. plain. stupid. The original movies exhibited a certain amount of class, but now it's just drivel. I cannot possibly get excited or emotionally involved in a battle when I'm laughing at the implausability of the entire affair. It's the same reason that the huge battle at the end of Ep2 sucked so hard: there was too much going on, it was too fancy, and it was there just for the sake of coolness.

    Minimalist direction and set design can convey so much more emotion and plot than overblown, busy looking CG riddled garbage. Of course I'll see this movie, but I'm going into it knowing I'll be laughing at, rather than actually caring for, the characters.

    I'm not angry at George Lucas, he has a right to make the movie he saw in his head. I just rather pity him. Growing old should make someone more mature, not less.

  16. Re:A great birthday present George! by the_mad_poster · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't screw it up? DON'T SCREW IT UP!?

    DID YOU WATCH THE LAST TWO MOVIES!? DID YOU READ THE PART OF THE ARTICLE THAT SAYS SURFING ON LAVA!?

    The only way this could not be screwed up is if the lava is real, Lucas is the surfboard, and he does his own damn stunts.

    --
    Alito: A vote for Alito is a punch in the eye to put that bitch back in her place!
  17. Yoda on the fiddle by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.

    Ah you see, that is Yoda being the crafty little bugger that he is. Notice that he waits until everyone else (except his opponent of course) is out cold before engaging in said acrobatics. As soon as the others start to come round he is back on the stick before they can notice.

    I suspect a benefit/social security fiddle of some sort...
    1. Re:Yoda on the fiddle by Gzip+Christ · · Score: 5, Funny
      I suspect a benefit/social security fiddle of some sort...
      If ever there was cut and dried example of why we need to raise the retirement age for social security benefits, Yoda is it. He went on to milk the system for a good 3 - 4 hundred years and now, as you so insightfully pointed out, we discover that he easily could have worked at least 200 - 300 more years. If the baby boomers don't kill the social security system for us, the Jedi certainly will - raise the retirement age now!
  18. It's such a shame..... by Scrab · · Score: 5, Insightful

    modern movies seem obsessed with being "cooler" than everything that has gone before.

    Case in point

    Matrix - Kung Fu in a virtual world
    Matrix Reloaded - Kung Fu in a virtual world with mythical beasts
    Matrix Revolutions - Kung Fu in a virtual worldwith mythical beasts that walked on the celing and not the floor.

    It's like Star Wars is running out of ideas so the franchise is going for big and flashy over anything worth watching. This is why I am predicting that there will be a battle involving the largest armies ever concieved, and this time, there will either be a two lightsabred enemy or more than one bad guy at once. Just so this film can be "Bigger, More Destructive, Better" than the last one.

    Which is a shame, because these new films are in serious danger of ruining the original films (which I love) just by association....

    --
    RoseColor red={0, 0xffff, 0x0000, 0x0000};VioletColour blue={0, 0x0000, 0x0000, 0xffff};find / -name *mybase*|chown you
  19. Re:Lava by ehiris · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Give me the old minatures any day.

    Forget the miniatures. I've seen a little about the making of Predator vs. Alien and they use technology for them, but that technology is to make them real. They are very cool big robots each controlled by a team of people.
    I don't know about you but to me CGI doesn't look real. The movements, textures, and impacts are always too perfect. Even if the try to make them imperfect, they are perfectly imperfect.

  20. Official Name posted at starwars.com by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just saw this banner on starwars.com

    Episode III: A Year to Go

    WhatMeWorry

  21. not set in stone yet... by apachetoolbox · · Score: 5, Informative

    ... hidden at the bottom of the page: The source added: "'Birth of the Empire' is the favourite title so far."

  22. Re:"Surfboards?" by The+Ultimate+Fartkno · · Score: 5, Funny



    And at some point during that battle, there *will* be a "clever" visual gag that makes the lava-surfing look like real surfing, and at that point a major character will say "whoah!" like unto the manner of Keanu Reeves. Ad at that point, I will fling poo at the screen.

    Mark my words, George Lucas! Poo!

  23. Re:Star Wars III: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Really THAT funny? I guess I'm one of the last remaining people that love the Star Wars saga for it's story, and not just the fact that it was the best Sci-Fi/Adventure series from my childhood. I wonder how many 80 year-olds rolled their eyes when Star Wars came out because it wasn't Metropolis.

    I'm excited to see the last movie, becuase it's the reason the prequels were made in the first place. It's the reason any of us were excited to see the Phantom Menace. It's the reason why everyone, including PM-haters, went to see Attack of the Clones. However, even though I liked the first 2 prequels, I admit this last one will have to be nothing short of great. If it fails, the whole prequel trilogy fails.

  24. Re:"Surfboards?" by Spanyrd · · Score: 5, Informative

    IIRC, the lava-field battle is established Star Wars history. It was the injuries that Anakin Sustained during this battle that caused him to turn into Vader. The massive internal injuries and loss of limbs were the reasons for all the cybernetics. Getting pissy about this fight being in the third movie is just ignorant, if it had been left out, that would be a reason to complain.

    ...the surfboard thing sounds pretty stupid, though.

    --
    one of these days I'm gonna patent the technology that lets Jason Vorhees catch up to cars by moving at a slow walk.
  25. Re:"Surfboards?" by heir2chaos · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh man, finally a movie to put a Beach Boys song in.

  26. There's a difference between Lucas and Lang... by maynard · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Metropolis, directed by Fritz Lang, was a serious film which pondered the man/machine rift using the best film technology had to offer at the time. In the 1920s it was absolutely at the forefront of film special effects, yet the effects didn't overshadow a then highly original story and screenplay. Star Wars was simply a western shot in space with high end special effects of the era. Comparing the first Star Wars to Metropolis does Lang and his film a terrible disservice IMO. You would do better to compare 2001 with Metropolis since they both cover similar ground of dehumanization in subservience to machines and the cycle of birth and death - both for individuals and societies at large. Lucas never offered such serious themes in his work, it's strictly entertainment. --M

  27. Re:Star Wars III: by noewun · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I am part of the original Star Wars Generation - I was eight when the first one came out, and I saw it in the theaters eleven times. I saw Empire and Return multiple times as well. I had Star Wars figures. I went as Luke Skywalker for Halloween, blah blah blah.

    I was excited for A New Hope, and went to see it at the Ziegfeld Theater in NYC when it premiered. I left the movie disappointed and aghast - horrible writing, terrible directing and a movie which bored me silly. My problem with Star Wars is not Star Wars but George Lucas himself, and the huge drop in quality he has overseen. It seems that without Leigh Bracket and Irvin Kershner to help him, Lucas is incapable of rising above rank melodrama in the new movies. The is doubly confusing to me, as Lucas did great things with the first movie, American Graffiti and THX1138.

    I don't know when Lucas lost it (I think it was when he changed the Greedo/Solo scene for the re-release of the original trilogy) but I have no problem saying the emperor has no clothes. I will always enjoy the first three movie, but the last two have been complete crap.

    --
    I am a believer of momentum and curves.
  28. Coming soon to your local XXX theatre by billyradcliffe · · Score: 5, Funny

    Star Whores III: Girth Of The Empire

  29. Re:"Surfboards?" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    WTF is this? Is the movie even done yet? No! And here you are, condemning it for shit that may or may not even be in it!

    I'm going to complain about the scene where the Power Puff Girls come riding in on three identical My Little Ponies and shoot frickin' lasers out of their eyes at C3P0. I hate the fuckin scene! I mean come on! My Little Ponies!?! How lame!

  30. Volcano? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everyone knows about the volcano.

    I still have my original programs from Episode 4, Star Trek TMP, Close Encounters and Superman... I was on Isaac Asimov's security detail at Star Trek conventions in the 70's... I won a science fiction trivia contest at a con... I published a fanzine for several years... I financed that fanzine with proceeds from selling swords, "crystal balls" and other drek in the huckster room of many cons... My first date with my wife was to see The Empire Strikes Back...

    And still, I feel an uplifting soul-freeing relief, because I didn't know about the fucking volcano.

  31. Incompetance by Scrameustache · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I think both Episode I and II were good movies (II was better than I), but still somewhat lacking compared to the first three.. Perhaps it was the overuse of CGI?

    Poor editing, actually.

    If you look on the ep1 DVD's deleted scenes, you'll see a scene where Qui Gon is talking with Anakin in Mos Eisley, and one of the flying camera droids that Darth Maul had released when he got on the planet creeps up on them. Qui Gon senses its presence, and in a very cool Jedi move turns around, takes out his lightsaber and destroys the drone in one swift motion. then turns to Anakin and, aware that they have been found, says something like "We must hurry!" and they run off to the ship. Upon their hasty arrival, Darth Maul catches up with them, and they fight (the deleted scene ends when he says they must hurry).

    But that scene was cut, so the following scenes do not make sense:
    • When Darth Maul releases the drones.
      That is now a useless scene because they don't do anything. He releases them...and that's the last we hear of them (I think we see one zipping along once in the background, but that's all).
    • When Qui Gon and Anakin get to ship running, and Darth Maul is there.
      Why are they running? How did Darth Maul know the ship was there?

    So, he cut an important scene that linked two other scenes (therefore crucial to the flow) and showcased super cool lightsaber action and force powers (what we are there to see!), all because of "time constraints". But he felt it necesary to leave in the same chapter the scenes of:
    • Jar Jar stepping in cow dung.
    • Jar Jar getting farted on by a space-cow.
    • Jar Jar shop-lifting food.

    That is bad storytelling. If you have time constraints, you cut the scenes that have no relevance to the story and no impact on the flow, not the ones that are both cool and integral to the story.
    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

  32. Veteran Star Wars Fans: What's wrong with I & by youknowmewell · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I remember being probably around 5 or 6 when I watched the star wars movies. I liked them then, and I can't wait until the first trilogy is released on DVD September. That said, I was pretty young and couldn't really make an opinion over "Wow that's cool!" and couldn't appreciate the fine details in the first 3 movies. I haven't watched them in a while either so the memories of them are vague at best.

    Getting to the question at hand, what about episodes 1 and 2 turned you off? I enjoyed them on their own merits rather than comparing them to the first trilogy (because it was easy for me, read above), and although there were some things like a planet with a core of water that was unrealistic, Star Wars in general is unrealistic.

    Of course, there is the Jar Jar Binks factor. Personally I bet Lucas regretted that character, I know I sure would.

    Some talk about a Jedi falling 100 feet and landing on a flying car and how that is unrealistic, others talk about the set rules of physics that seem to be ignored in I and II, others about destroying the "wise sage" that was Yoda, and also the demystifying of the force with science. I'm sure there is more, which I hope you'd inform me of.

    One thing I'd like to say is that episode II to me seemed to show the golden age of the Jedi coming to an end. I can see how certain things in the first 2 or 3 episodes could be different from the last 3, such as the jumping from 100 feet thing.

    Anyway, I'd like to hear your responses as I've been wondering why people seem to rag on the new SW movies a bit.

  33. parallels in the titles by plasm4 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The Creeping Fear doesn't make sense, as its a thing.
    ANH and TPM are both things.
    AOTC and ESB are both things in action.
    ROTJ and Birth of the Empire are both events.

    I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.

  34. Temporal Physics (Re:"Birth of the Empire"?) by damien_kane · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lucas has, in effect, created a temporal paradox.
    If he is somehow stopped from making this movie, then Anakin will never turn into Darth Vader, and the Empire will never be born.
    If there is no Empire and no Vader, then the original trilogy could have never existed, thereby negating two things:
    1. Lucas' immense wealth (as well the wealth of Hammil and the fame of Ford).
    2. The need for the prequels.

    If there is no need for the prequels, 2 things will happen due to that:
    1. There will have been no prequels, so /.ers will nothing to bitch about.
    2. No more Natalie Portman, so /.ers will have nothing to troll about.

    So... this movie has to be made, the alternative being something along the lines of `mv /dev/existence /dev/null`

    And all this time I thought that the Catholics would be the ones to negate the creation...

    On that note, who's up for goin to Hollywood with me to stop this movie from being made?
    I figure we've got 8 days...

  35. rather it's .. by Razor+Blades+are+Not · · Score: 5, Funny

    .. the same lame stormtropper getup their mother made out of styrofoam and a sharpie.

  36. you have a dubious definition of creativity by circletimessquare · · Score: 5, Insightful

    lucas created a lot, what you define as noncreative is exactly what creativity is: mixing and matching previous cultural artifacts into new and novel combinations for great entertainment effect

    in other words, your forensic analysis of lucas's influences are dead on, but that simply illusrates how creative he is: to mix and match such disparate influences into something wholly fresh and enthralling

    you seem to think creativity happens in a vacuum

    ALL stories, written by ANYONE can be found to have similarities to previous stories, as all stories are simply variations on the hero myth and have the same story arc of crisis leading to resolution

    i mean, according to your definition, shakespeare or homer deserve credit for all books and movies made in western culture for the past couple of hundred years... um, no

    study joseph campbell and his groundbreaking work with myths, especially the hero with a thousand faces to see what i mean

    lucas is incredibly creative: watch his early film thx-1138 and do a forensic analysis of the science fiction and cultural critique roots of that movie... it doesn't take away from lucas's creativity to find his sources of inspiration

    no, the problem with lucas is that he hit his audience dead on in the first few films: older children and young teenagers, in the spirit of tintin: genuinely evil forces and genuine mortal risk at work against a young hero with colorful friends and enemies in a colorful universe

    however, for whatever bizarre reason, with jar jar and surfing lava, lucas somehow thinks that YOUNGER children should be courted instead of staying with his sweet spot of older children/ young teenagers... i mean c'mon jar jar is nothing but a teletubbie character: lucas has gotten the age wrong when he seeks to be kid-frinedly- he's aiming at too low of an age, and losing the sweet spot that his star wars universe appeals to

    on a side note, this whole delving into the forensic analysis of predecessors to creative works gets at the problem with corporations claiming intellectual property creep further and further into the public domain: micky mouse not lapsing into it, or the whole debale with the grey album: at some point, by claiming excessive ownership on what is essentially our shared human culture, corporations are stifling innovation, not helping it, by keeping works locked up in a vault where no one can freely dip into and remix from them...

    in such a too near future world where corporations and their hordes of lawyers exert too much of an influence on cultural ownership, a lawyer can come along just as you did in your parent post, and claim ownership of star wars based on previous works, and stifle star wars before it ever got out of the script pile

    on other words, in the future of increasing dubious and aggressive cultural ownership practices by large corporations, we would never have seen star wars... that's the kind of stifling of innovation we are dealing with in the whole ip battle ;-(

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  37. Re:"Surfboards?" by VelocityBoy09 · · Score: 5, Funny
    Mark my words, George Lucas! Poo!

    By Jove, I believe I just found a sig.

  38. Stone, meet Glass House by spun · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not that I'm a grammar Nazi, but I do know a little bit about speech.
    ..
    Not to mention, your analysis is pretty week,

    'nuff said. :-P

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton