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Star Wars Episode III : Birth Of The Empire
lemmen writes "According the Brtish tabloid The Sun, Star Wars III will carry the name 'Birth Of The Empire'. This will be announced soon according the article. Also it describes one of the highlights of the movie: 'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.' Can't wait till May 15th 2005!" Thanks to reader ExoticMandibles, another quality news source: Teen Hollywood. Update: 05/20 05:47 GMT by T :
Gokey writes with a correction: "StarWars.com indicates that the movie is released May 19th, 2005 (exactly
one year from now) not May 15th, 2005."
I suppose the only consolation is that it could have been worse. How, exactly, is eluding me at the moment, but I am sure that it could have been.
The Birth of a Migraine.
I am a believer of momentum and curves.
There was always an official Lucas announcement as to the names of the prequels, and many many rumors/fake names... anyone think this is legit?
The biggest question: Will it pull a Star Trek and contradict everything we know already?
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... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... sorry, brain seems to be malfunctioning.
~Berj
could anakin get burned during the lava fight, hence the need for the darth vader get-up? or is that just too BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS?
http://ipod.fresh27.net/
It's actually "Revenge of the Empire".
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
For awhile everyone thought it was going to be called "The Creeping Fear".
Member of Orkut? Annoyed with spam?
My birthday's on the 15th of May. What a better present than a dissappointing end to a 30 year long franchise. Please Lucas...don't screw it up...
------- "From bored to fanboy in 3.8 asian girls" ----------
Oh great, lava surfing. That's all we need. Anyone remember Kurt Russell surfing in Escape from LA? God I hope it's not that lame.
Aahhhhh, it's a Vader! Congratulations.
Hopefully, we can get the magic from the first three movies back.
I think both Episode I and II were good movies (II was better than I), but still somewhat lacking compared to the first three.. Perhaps it was the overuse of CGI?
Sounds like we are in for a "labor" of pains.
Ok, that was bad. Sorry.
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.
I vaguely remember that much of Anakin's damage (and the subsequent need of the Darth-suit for life support) was due to him and Ben fighting near lava or plasma. So, I'm glad that's still in there.
But I swear to God in heaven! If the battle consists of Ben and Anny fighting while surfing on 2 rocks floating on a lava flow, I'm walking out.
Knowing Lucas lately, they'll be Beach Boys playing in the background, and Anny will be catchign some "serious air, maannnnn".
Surfing on lava... surfing on a shield down stairs at Helm's Deep... what's with Hollywood's need to write out-of-character surf stunts into sci-fi/fantasy movies?
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That's exactly how I would have described my feelings about more prequels after the first one.
Yeah, a surfing scene is always a great way to spice up a sequel.
Member of Orkut? Annoyed with spam?
This is one birth that should have been aborted.
A witty saying proves you are wittier than the next guy.
May I humbly propose, without attempting to troll, that the Star Wars franchise is no longer relavant? Like most pop art, it is no longer in fashion. Most people I talk to today simply don't care.
Anakin dies... Episode 7 comes out months later revealing that JarJar is ObiWan's new Padawan and that episodes 4-6 were just a dream. New franchise of starwars movies announced.
Surfing on lava? SURFING ON LAVA? I guess we're in store for another gripping special effects movie which utterly bores anyone over 8 years old.
Now, if they fired Lucas and made the Zahn books into movies then they could rekindle the franchise, but Lucas would never allow that.
WHY OF WHY? I don't want the coolest lightsabre fight ever to take place surfing on lava. I want it to take place in a very sterile evironment where there are only two people, two lightsabres and the finest lightsabre techniques of the galaxy.
Oh great, this will be ultra realistic. Lucas has just gotten way too happy with the CGI in the prequels. Give me the old minatures any day.
4-6 were cool because they were grounded in reality with some cool special effects. The prequels have lost all sense of reality. A few of the things that bug me:
A planet with a water core that you can travel through, I just don't think this was possible
Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
Jedi's plummiting 100's of feet through the air and landing on flying cars.
My list goes on and on. Fighting on lava is another example.
Heck, for a Jedi, WALKING on lava is possible. That might be a cool fight - each has to walk on the lava, then they're using the Force to stay walking on the surface w/o dying - Annakin somehow losing his concentration, and slipping into the lava.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
Yeah, it's even worse to see them smear it on some celluloid and try to pass it off as a movie.
Where's my lobbyist? Right here.
Holy crap! Darth Vader is Luke's father? Way to spoil the ending for me, guys.
Just go HERE and satisfy your curiosity about plotline of episode 3.
At least the first three (4,5,&6) were SOMEWHAT realistic. Sure there was some futuristic/fantasy gear, but light sabers, blasters, and the force aren't that far of a stretch.
But now you bring in SURFING ON LAVA! What the hell kind of stupid ass idea is this? Somewhere in the formula of $goodMovie = $whatsAlreadyBeen done * $somethingExtravagantlyStupid ^ $corporatefunding there is a missing $creativity, $originality, or $substance, and that's just going to make this move suck more than EP 1.
On an altogether second star wars bitch, I still fscking hate Jar-Jar Binx, and think whoever created that turdmonkey should be shot, even if it is Lucas
Let's get one thing perfectly clear, I did not vote for George W Bush, and I do not endorse what he does or says.
"
If you would have RTFA you would have noticed that Anakin uses Jar Jar as a surf board.
Anyone else getting the picture in your head from that one episode of Futurama, advertising "Walrus Juice" with a guy "Riding the Walrus" (and, you know, actually surfing on a walrus)? The message there was "don't make things extreme for the purposes of making them extreme". At this point, I think Lucas is way in over his head with this.
"...while surfing on lava."
Obi-wan: You will not fall to the dark side!
Anakin: Hang ten old man!
(Anakin escapes)
Obi-wan: Bogus
My wife says that the only joy she takes from this is that it's the last movie.
surfing on lava?
how can someone create such a dark and fantastic universe and make it so compelling int he first 3 movies, and then fill it with things like jar jar and "surfing on lava" (whoa gnarly yo!) and other idiocies in the last 3
well, the ewoks were a hint of the direction i guess
maybe lucas, who said he wants this to be for kids, not adults, is crashing the entire ship of the series against this rock of kid-friendliness
but you don't have to make it like shrek to appeal to kids
i mean i saw star wars at 7, and it was stunning... no jar jar binks needed to apply to captivate me
i think lucas really screwed up that whole "kid-friendliness" dictate- what that really means to be "kid-friendly", and what its dubious implementation might do to the tone of the series
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Just the like the ludicrous "pod race" in Ep. I, and the (admittedly cute) hovering-Yoda saber fight in II, the only possible rational justification is videogame possibilities. Just like scenes where people and robots get tossed by-complete-coincidence onto moving conveyor belts with stamping machinery ...
Remember, A-B-B-A-up will let you kick-flip your lava board; B-B-A-B-down-up does a stalefish grab.
timothy
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
Isn't that a Sunday? That can't be right....
smd4985
The Star Wars franchise 'jumped the shark' with the Ewoks dancing at the end of EP 6.
"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." - Thomas Jefferson
This is not surprising, but it is depressing. I know that every one of you reading this comment has seen the Luke vs. Vader lightsaber fight in Ep6. It was classic, I would almost call it artful. The lighting, the music, the overall mood was just fantatsic moviemaking.
So what do we have to follow this up? Fighting on lava surf boards? That's just stupid. I wish I could say it more eloquently, but it's just. plain. stupid. The original movies exhibited a certain amount of class, but now it's just drivel. I cannot possibly get excited or emotionally involved in a battle when I'm laughing at the implausability of the entire affair. It's the same reason that the huge battle at the end of Ep2 sucked so hard: there was too much going on, it was too fancy, and it was there just for the sake of coolness.
Minimalist direction and set design can convey so much more emotion and plot than overblown, busy looking CG riddled garbage. Of course I'll see this movie, but I'm going into it knowing I'll be laughing at, rather than actually caring for, the characters.
I'm not angry at George Lucas, he has a right to make the movie he saw in his head. I just rather pity him. Growing old should make someone more mature, not less.
Ceren the BSD chick: Help me RMS! You're my only hope!
Stallman: Use the source Linus!
Gates: Linus! *I* am your father! Come to the dark side!
ESR:bleep! scree! Wrrr!
Perens: I'm sure this is all your fault!
Shut up! It's a dream. Ohhhhhhh!!! I'll never touch that stuff again.....
You mean like the lava surfing scene in Spy Kids 3D?
Lucas used to be original. But THX-1138 was a long time ago.
Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
Ah you see, that is Yoda being the crafty little bugger that he is. Notice that he waits until everyone else (except his opponent of course) is out cold before engaging in said acrobatics. As soon as the others start to come round he is back on the stick before they can notice.
I suspect a benefit/social security fiddle of some sort...There's an entire library of material licensed and sanctioned by Lucas, and he chooses to cast most of it to the wind. So what's going to keep this movie from sucking? My guess is nothing. George Lucas went from being a modern mythmaker to peddling contrived sci-fi. It's really sad to see his work decline because of his overinflated ego. He believes his films somehow stand on their own, regardless of what the fans think.
Someone really needs to remind George Lucas, and Hollywood in general, that while CGI is a great tool it's not a panacea when it comes to making films. Stories matter. Miniatures and actual sets still have their places.
Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...
modern movies seem obsessed with being "cooler" than everything that has gone before.
Case in point
Matrix - Kung Fu in a virtual world
Matrix Reloaded - Kung Fu in a virtual world with mythical beasts
Matrix Revolutions - Kung Fu in a virtual worldwith mythical beasts that walked on the celing and not the floor.
It's like Star Wars is running out of ideas so the franchise is going for big and flashy over anything worth watching. This is why I am predicting that there will be a battle involving the largest armies ever concieved, and this time, there will either be a two lightsabred enemy or more than one bad guy at once. Just so this film can be "Bigger, More Destructive, Better" than the last one.
Which is a shame, because these new films are in serious danger of ruining the original films (which I love) just by association....
RoseColor red={0, 0xffff, 0x0000, 0x0000};VioletColour blue={0, 0x0000, 0x0000, 0xffff};find / -name *mybase*|chown you
earlier versions had the showdown taking place during a dual bungie-jump session at Anakin's bar miztvah
Lava surfing, that sounds great! I can't wait to see it! I SURE HOPE THE SUN AND TEEN HOLLYWOOD HAVE ALL OF THIER FACTS STRAIGHT. 'Cause that sounds like a really awesome scene! Even though it contradicts everything that has ever been said about the first showdown between Obi-wan and Anakin....
Ahh slashdot. Where we spend days / weeks uncovering that an anti-linux source is microsoft backed, but we take the word of 'The Sun' and 'Teen Hollywood' (about star wars no less) as 100% fact.
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Now I'm thinking of a secret lair in a volcano, with sharks that have frickin laser beams attached to their heads...
Thanks /. we have Soviet Russia, Hot Grits, pr0n, fp, and everytime I think of sharks I'm reminded of everytime someone mentions it on here.
Vicious circle I suppose... *shrugs*
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
I just saw this banner on starwars.com
Episode III: A Year to Go
WhatMeWorry
Once the third movie comes out, the number of crappy Star Wars movies will equal the number of those generally regarded as good. Rather than being blights on a franchise that is generally good, we must face the notion that perhaps the bad movies are the norm and that the "good" movies are, in the end, nothing more than pleasant surprises in a generally crappy franchise. After all, our positive impressions of the first three movies are artificially induced to some extent by nostalgia. You don't want to admit it, but deep down, in your heart of hearts, you know that if Return Of The Jedi came out today instead of when you were a kid, you would think it was no better than the last two crappy movies.
What Would Jesus Do
(for a Klondike bar)?
Screw the title, is anyone else worried about this cheesy-sounding fight on lava surfboards? Surfboards?!
God, Lucas, please stop! Give me a dignified sword fight in the vein of the OT. Nope, we need green-screened, CG'd light saber battles on top of lava with the two combatants using them like surfboards!!!
... hidden at the bottom of the page: The source added: "'Birth of the Empire' is the favourite title so far."
That after this third movie they're dumping the cast and going with a whole new cast except for the droids and Yoda?
That can't be smart.
But I liked all the movies so far. I guess I have the ability to just enjoy a movie without criticizing every thing about it.
About the name of the movie, why the shit-fits from all the people? It's simple, and very much similar to the rest of the titles of all of them, including the older ones.
-Jesse, likes all of them.
Nothing says "unprofessional job" like wrinkles in your duct tape.
I doubt he'll show any restraint OR thought for this sequence. IIRC, which I'm sure I do, the Obi-Wan vs. Anakin fight ended up in Anakin falling into a vat of lava, clearly indicating a fall from some non-lava surface.
What amazes me is that much of the coolness in Star Wars was absolutely NOT Lucas' doing. Has anyone played the West End Games version of SW Roleplaying game? I never really did, but I owned all the books. It's AMAZING how creative those people were, why can't Lucas take a page out of their book?
Actually, I would be more interested in finding out how Leia got away/wasn't known to Vader.
As to it not making sense for Luke going to Tatooine, I thought it actually did - wasn't Luke given to "Uncle Owen" (whom I presume is Anakin's half brother) to be raised?
Give Lucas some credit. He "Spoils" something that shouldn't be news, but holds back the piece that is actually more intriguing (at least I hope it is).
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
...is finally coming to fruition!
As to it not making sense for Luke going to Tatooine, I thought it actually did - wasn't Luke given to "Uncle Owen" (whom I presume is Anakin's half brother) to be raised?
Yeah, real clever, let's raise Darth Vader's son using HIS OWN LAST NAME OF SKYWALKER ON HIS HOME PLANET.
Perry Mason couldn't crack this case.
Of course, Star Wars has an actual plot, so it'll have a leg up on Spy Kids 3-times-shittier-than-anything-you-ever-imagined-D .
Funny, I thought the movies were all science-fantasy. At best, space opera sci-fi. Really, the movies were never about the science, which was always ludicrous and inconsistent.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
> Ceren the BSD chick: Help me RMS! You're my only hope!
Episode IV: A GNU/Hope
The Sun is a fine periodical that features insightful, well considered, half-naked, intelligent articles on ...did I say half-naked? That has nothing to do with it. Why I'd throw out Page 3 right away except they normally have really interesting articles on page 4 that I really want to keep hidden in my desk ...I didn't write that. You didn't read that. It never happened.
After TPM came out, and I was still suffering from "Jar Jar Shock," one of my friends enlightened me with the idea that Star Wars is a children's movie. That is why I remember the OT being great, but I am so disappointed by the Prequels.
I let my 2-year-old son watch all 5 recently, and he loves them. Now instead of asking to watch Monsters, Inc. or Toy Story, he wants Star Wars.
The Fat Man Walks Alone
Metropolis, directed by Fritz Lang, was a serious film which pondered the man/machine rift using the best film technology had to offer at the time. In the 1920s it was absolutely at the forefront of film special effects, yet the effects didn't overshadow a then highly original story and screenplay. Star Wars was simply a western shot in space with high end special effects of the era. Comparing the first Star Wars to Metropolis does Lang and his film a terrible disservice IMO. You would do better to compare 2001 with Metropolis since they both cover similar ground of dehumanization in subservience to machines and the cycle of birth and death - both for individuals and societies at large. Lucas never offered such serious themes in his work, it's strictly entertainment. --M
...the spoilers don't have the whole story? Ever thought of that? Perhaps the two are fighting on a platform *over* lava that falls into the lava having been ripped from its base. Maybe Palaptine does the ripping. Maybe it's cut by a lightsaber. Do you ACTUALLY think that we will see Jedi "surfing?" That would be *too* stupid. Not going to happen.
Go ahead, mod me down as though I were some sort of nerd heretic. Although it's really odd how being a Star Wars fan used to be a nerd prereq, and now you have to despise the movies in order to get your loser cap.
surfing on lave is too the EXTREME!!!
what a joke.
I don't know, it has a certain appeal, the idea's so obvious that Vader wouldn't bother looking there.
Obi Wan Kenobi, crazy like a fox.
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
Star Whores III: Girth Of The Empire
If "Birth of the Empire" was the winning name. I wonder what some of the losers were....
I see many people on /. are crying out for the elegant light saber battles in the vein of the OT. However, intensely choreographed, wildy implausible scenes can still be incredible- if done correctly. Case in point: the Clone Wars Micro Series. Anakin's battle with the dark jedi chick in the treetops of Yavin was just damn cool. Cooler than anything I've seen in Ep 1 or Ep 2. Mace Windu vs. the Droid armies was incredible. Come to think of it, can they get Tartakovsky to direct Ep 3?
News Flash! The first two were so bad even this one can't redeem them - even if it is somewhat above the level of the suck the first two rank in at.
JAR JAR? R2-D2 FLYING?!?! WHAT THE FSCK?! The list goes on. Hey Look! I've got a minute!
Like Yoda would need a light saber - and if he did, like he wouldn't completely win? Isn't Palpatine about Yoda's level? So who's this Yoda-battle-worthy douche Dooku? Wasn't Douche-ku a pupil of Yoda's? So wouldn't Yoda just stop him dead with the wink of his eye?? On top of that, why did Yoda need his hands to steady that rock he STRUGGLED with? (And why'd he struggle? I thought "size mattered not - only different in your mind")
It's almost like Lucas set out to shatter our love of the real trilogy. Oh yeah - and R2 CAN NOT fly - if he could, why the hell didn't he just fly instead of falling in the swamp on Dagobah? Or when the ewoks got him? Or through the desert? Are You going to tell me his jets will be irrepairably damaged in this upcoming puke fest?
I used to believe it might not suck, back just before I saw Jar Jar and the Gun Guns scene the first time. Then reality set in and I admitted that Lucas has a problem.
Hey - if all the stormtroopers are clones of Boba/Jango Fett - why are the Fetts so good and stormtroopers are so comically pathetic?
I could go on, but I have to leave work now. I cheerily invite someone to pick up where I left off - I'm sure there's some of you out there with flaws I haven't even thought of yet...
========
77 77 77 2e 6d 65 6c 76 69 6e 73 2e 63 6f 6d
Everyone knows about the volcano.
I still have my original programs from Episode 4, Star Trek TMP, Close Encounters and Superman... I was on Isaac Asimov's security detail at Star Trek conventions in the 70's... I won a science fiction trivia contest at a con... I published a fanzine for several years... I financed that fanzine with proceeds from selling swords, "crystal balls" and other drek in the huckster room of many cons... My first date with my wife was to see The Empire Strikes Back...
And still, I feel an uplifting soul-freeing relief, because I didn't know about the fucking volcano.
Poor editing, actually.
If you look on the ep1 DVD's deleted scenes, you'll see a scene where Qui Gon is talking with Anakin in Mos Eisley, and one of the flying camera droids that Darth Maul had released when he got on the planet creeps up on them. Qui Gon senses its presence, and in a very cool Jedi move turns around, takes out his lightsaber and destroys the drone in one swift motion. then turns to Anakin and, aware that they have been found, says something like "We must hurry!" and they run off to the ship. Upon their hasty arrival, Darth Maul catches up with them, and they fight (the deleted scene ends when he says they must hurry).
But that scene was cut, so the following scenes do not make sense:
That is now a useless scene because they don't do anything. He releases them...and that's the last we hear of them (I think we see one zipping along once in the background, but that's all).
Why are they running? How did Darth Maul know the ship was there?
So, he cut an important scene that linked two other scenes (therefore crucial to the flow) and showcased super cool lightsaber action and force powers (what we are there to see!), all because of "time constraints". But he felt it necesary to leave in the same chapter the scenes of:
That is bad storytelling. If you have time constraints, you cut the scenes that have no relevance to the story and no impact on the flow, not the ones that are both cool and integral to the story.
You can't take the sky from me...
...to remember the intro to the original Star Wars back in 1977, I can assure you that "Episode IV" was tacked on after the fact. I remember it clearly. Lucas added on Episode IV to Star Wars for a re-release in 1980 right before The Empire Strikes Back was released to theaters. And I remember that too, 'cause I saw both. Man, I'm an old fart. --M
I remember being probably around 5 or 6 when I watched the star wars movies. I liked them then, and I can't wait until the first trilogy is released on DVD September. That said, I was pretty young and couldn't really make an opinion over "Wow that's cool!" and couldn't appreciate the fine details in the first 3 movies. I haven't watched them in a while either so the memories of them are vague at best.
Getting to the question at hand, what about episodes 1 and 2 turned you off? I enjoyed them on their own merits rather than comparing them to the first trilogy (because it was easy for me, read above), and although there were some things like a planet with a core of water that was unrealistic, Star Wars in general is unrealistic.
Of course, there is the Jar Jar Binks factor. Personally I bet Lucas regretted that character, I know I sure would.
Some talk about a Jedi falling 100 feet and landing on a flying car and how that is unrealistic, others talk about the set rules of physics that seem to be ignored in I and II, others about destroying the "wise sage" that was Yoda, and also the demystifying of the force with science. I'm sure there is more, which I hope you'd inform me of.
One thing I'd like to say is that episode II to me seemed to show the golden age of the Jedi coming to an end. I can see how certain things in the first 2 or 3 episodes could be different from the last 3, such as the jumping from 100 feet thing.
Anyway, I'd like to hear your responses as I've been wondering why people seem to rag on the new SW movies a bit.
Shallow characters made up of racist stereotypes.
But somehow, I don't suppose star wars fans will go on to form a new KKK type thing. Though lynching Jar Jar after the first one would have been good for us all.
And no, Lucas will not be getting a "hollywood mansion" (below). He's quite not enamoured of Hollywood. Part of why he moved to Marin, gave up his DGA card, etc. The union rules were also part of the hassle of getting other directors on some other episodes.
(he burned his card or something after "strikes back" and he was fined for not having the director's name before the narrative crawl. Neither he or the director wanted it, but rules is rules.
God it scares me that I know this. (on the plus side, I can't NAME the director without looking to imdb. And I won't).
The Creeping Fear doesn't make sense, as its a thing.
ANH and TPM are both things.
AOTC and ESB are both things in action.
ROTJ and Birth of the Empire are both events.
I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.
Anyone who actually uses the name "Anny" to refer to Anakin Skywalker is disqualified from criticizing these movies. And it's not Ben, it's Obi-Wan. He was only called Ben during his time of hiding out and watching over the growing young Skywalker on Tatooine. Sorry, but we've got to keep continuity
If Episode I and II were such a travesty, such a smear on the well-coddled spot of pop culture that you hold so dearly close to your heart, then don't go see Episode III. I mean it. Don't spend any money, don't ask anyone else how good (or bad) it was. Just ignore it when it comes out and leave it behind you forever.
Will you do that? I would venture to say no. That would spoil the fun of having something to bitch about.
The real reason people use as justification to see the new version of anything is that they might miss something that DOESN'T suck, something that everyone else saw on midnight the night before opening night. Heaven forbid I be left out of a geek orgy! But feelings are so strong about Episodes I and II you would figure no one would touch Episode III without biohazard gear and robotic assistance. But they will. In droves. And when Episode III comes out, people will dress up in their Stormtrooper outfits, Darth Vader suits, and Leia bikinis and flock to the theaters.
And they will be thoroughly disappointed.
Expectations for this series are way beyond what anyone can reasonably expect. George Lucas has left the Star Wars universe simmering for far too long and with little discipline for ANYONE to be satisfied with his vision of the beginning of his own saga. Anyone with such high expectations is destined for disappointment, because the movie they see is never as good as the movie they imagine.
So ignore Episode III when it comes out. Don't go see it. And don't complain when it sucks. Because Star Wars does not belong to you. It belongs to George Lucas. And he can rewrite his story (and "history") all he wants, because it's his. If you don't like the story, don't fork over the cash. And if you do go see it, just remember what George Lucas actually said: "the last three [episodes] are more commercial." Don't expect to see the death of every Jedi. Because I am predicting Darth Vader will not show up until the end of the movie. And if there's anything that will get the Star Wars zealots up in arms, it will be the "implied" slaughter of all the Jedi, just like the "implied" slaughter of the Tusken raiders in Episode II. After all, this is a series for kids!
"What luck for the rulers that men do not think." Adolf Hitler
I think I might watch it just to see Hayden Christianson fall into boiling lava. Unfortunately I had to wait two movies to see it. If somehow Jar-Jar and Natalie Portman's clothes fall in I will definately spend the $9.
Lucas has, in effect, created a temporal paradox.
/.ers will nothing to bitch about. /.ers will have nothing to troll about.
/dev/existence /dev/null`
If he is somehow stopped from making this movie, then Anakin will never turn into Darth Vader, and the Empire will never be born.
If there is no Empire and no Vader, then the original trilogy could have never existed, thereby negating two things:
1. Lucas' immense wealth (as well the wealth of Hammil and the fame of Ford).
2. The need for the prequels.
If there is no need for the prequels, 2 things will happen due to that:
1. There will have been no prequels, so
2. No more Natalie Portman, so
So... this movie has to be made, the alternative being something along the lines of `mv
And all this time I thought that the Catholics would be the ones to negate the creation...
On that note, who's up for goin to Hollywood with me to stop this movie from being made?
I figure we've got 8 days...
The only evil parts of I and II were Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and the Fetts.
Meh? How was Maul evil? He had horns? All of these guys are evil only because they're on the wrong side, not because they really establish their respective characters at all.
Darth Vader used the force to choke a guy to death - because he got a little back-talk. Darth was a bad, bad man - and got lots of great scenes to establish his character. So did the emperor. Heck, they blew up a whole planet.
Let's not stir that bag of worms...
Whew, the flamage around here is about as bad as that Lava. It's also attacking the wrong thing.
#1 This is the "British Tabloid, The Sun." Tabloid! Hello, McFly? Are you all really giving that much weight to everything that rag says? Oh, I'm sorry, this is slashdot, my bad.
#2 The article quotes: The Hollywood source said: "Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on platforms on the lava. They control these like surfboards." Sounds like its poorly described. I read that as "controlled with the feet." This is a Tabloid so getting any more detailed than "like surfboards" will bore their readers. This is just sneak peak bullshit designed to get people reading and worked up.
#3 If its described badly, don't can the scene until you've seen it. THEN can it. Have the friggin proof right in front of you. Oh, I'm sorry, this is slashdot, my bad.
#4 Why hasn't anyone complained about the physics of the lava sequence? Now, near the surface, lava is pretty hot and shouldn't be messed with, but you could probably put things on it or hover over it a few feet and not get burnt. But if this is an epic battle, I'm thinking "fires of Mordor" here, deep in the earth or in a volcano. That's friggin HOT. Even if they aren't touching it, the platform should probably melt, or their feet catch fire and/or melt from the sheer heat just above it. Has anyone bothered to analyze this? And, I'm sorry, but if Anakin were to fall into the lava... instant crispy Jedi. None of this horribly scarred nonsense. Who cares if its not "geeky cool" or "artistically cool." Lets can the stupid physics like we used to around here!
#5 Several other sources of Star Wars history cite that in the epic battle between the two, it was acid, not lava. Not that I think Lucas would actually bother to try to keep the timeline consistent, but hell, that actually sounds more realistic and no less cooler than the lava. Can we go back to this please?
"All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"
.. the same lame stormtropper getup their mother made out of styrofoam and a sharpie.
... their target readership dreams only of guzzling litres of lager while watching clones of Pamela Anderson playing topless football. Phwoar! etc.
Just look at the quote- "they control these like surfboards". Wow... sounds plausible. Sigh. I strongly suspect that whatever actually happens in this scene, the 'insider' or The Sun felt they had to dumb it down so that their readership could understand it- and distorted it in the process. Surfboards!?! Hah!
Personally, I'm hoping to see "Star Wars: Episode III: Return Of The Sith" scroll up the screen. That would follow George's professed style of making movies 'like music', echoing the same riffs and themes throughout the Star Wars sextology.
Do you ACTUALLY think that we will see Jedi "surfing?" That would be *too* stupid.
You do realize that George Lucas is writing and directing this movie, don't you? You do realize this is the same guy who gave us Jar-Jar, virgin-birth Anakin, and mitichlorians, right? Do you seriously think anything is "too stupid" for George Lucas to insert into his next action-figure-selling movie vehicle?
In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and say to us, Make us your slaves, but feed us. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I thought a better title would be something along the lines of Episode III: Fall of the Jedi, which ties in with Episode VI being the Return of the Jedi.
I'd personally like to thank the retard editor who let this spoiler go. Surfing lightsabre battle, great, I'm sure it's fantastic, but what is it with posters and editors who think it's necessary to dump details without a spoiler warning? I find I enjoy movies best knowing as little about them as possible before going in. In particular it saves people from me being yet-another-twit posting about how this or that was a let down thanks to my inflated expectations.
I'll see it when it comes out, probably a week or so after opening and when crowds have thinned (after all the whinging begins in papers and on /. about how it sucked because of this, that or the other thing.)
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
There's nothing unrealistic about this. That scene resembled Ozzy Osbourne before, during, and after a performance.
Now, if they were surfing on lava using JarJar as a surfboard, I might be eager to watch :)
lucas created a lot, what you define as noncreative is exactly what creativity is: mixing and matching previous cultural artifacts into new and novel combinations for great entertainment effect
;-(
in other words, your forensic analysis of lucas's influences are dead on, but that simply illusrates how creative he is: to mix and match such disparate influences into something wholly fresh and enthralling
you seem to think creativity happens in a vacuum
ALL stories, written by ANYONE can be found to have similarities to previous stories, as all stories are simply variations on the hero myth and have the same story arc of crisis leading to resolution
i mean, according to your definition, shakespeare or homer deserve credit for all books and movies made in western culture for the past couple of hundred years... um, no
study joseph campbell and his groundbreaking work with myths, especially the hero with a thousand faces to see what i mean
lucas is incredibly creative: watch his early film thx-1138 and do a forensic analysis of the science fiction and cultural critique roots of that movie... it doesn't take away from lucas's creativity to find his sources of inspiration
no, the problem with lucas is that he hit his audience dead on in the first few films: older children and young teenagers, in the spirit of tintin: genuinely evil forces and genuine mortal risk at work against a young hero with colorful friends and enemies in a colorful universe
however, for whatever bizarre reason, with jar jar and surfing lava, lucas somehow thinks that YOUNGER children should be courted instead of staying with his sweet spot of older children/ young teenagers... i mean c'mon jar jar is nothing but a teletubbie character: lucas has gotten the age wrong when he seeks to be kid-frinedly- he's aiming at too low of an age, and losing the sweet spot that his star wars universe appeals to
on a side note, this whole delving into the forensic analysis of predecessors to creative works gets at the problem with corporations claiming intellectual property creep further and further into the public domain: micky mouse not lapsing into it, or the whole debale with the grey album: at some point, by claiming excessive ownership on what is essentially our shared human culture, corporations are stifling innovation, not helping it, by keeping works locked up in a vault where no one can freely dip into and remix from them...
in such a too near future world where corporations and their hordes of lawyers exert too much of an influence on cultural ownership, a lawyer can come along just as you did in your parent post, and claim ownership of star wars based on previous works, and stifle star wars before it ever got out of the script pile
on other words, in the future of increasing dubious and aggressive cultural ownership practices by large corporations, we would never have seen star wars... that's the kind of stifling of innovation we are dealing with in the whole ip battle
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
AOTC and ESB are also events, and ROTJ and BOTE are also action.
You're reading too much into it. I doubt George Lucas sat down and said, "Hmm, how can I tie these titles in so that they are events, actions, or things?" He was too busy thinking lava planets, water-core planets, and city planets were cool ideas.
"Hmm, I need a swamp...I know! A swamp planet! Dagobah it is!"
"I need Ani to fall into lava...I'll just have to create a lava planet! Get ILM on the phone!"
Ok this is a re-post I admit but I'm curious what other people think of this idea........
I'm wondering who here plans on purchasing the SE trilogy DVD set and then re-authoring it BACK to the original?
I'm figuring if you pirate a copy of Star Wars LD rip it's not so bad if you actually own a copy of the SE's (unfortunately)
Also some people (god I hope so) with talent might be able to make a really really nice version of the movie using the SE versions and the LD and some kind of software to clean up a good non SE edition.
So, does anyone here (perhaps a Star Wars guru) know of the changes are ALL ADITIONS to the SE's and how feasable it would be to fix them back to their original form, maintiaining the high quality of the clean up (that we've been lead to beleive will occur to the SE's) ???
I'd _Really_ like 5.1 in the original trilogy.......
Obi Wan and Annakin duel each other inside an enormous volcano, jumping around on rocks floating in the bubbling molten lava. Annakin looks down and sees a shiny gold ring sitting on one of the floating rocks. Suddenly he is seized by an irresitible urge to take the ring. He reaches for the ring, but just as he is about to slip it on his finger, the smouldering carcass of Gollum leaps from the lava screaming "Nooooo! My precioussssss!" and leaps onto Annakin, biting off his finger as they both fall back into the lava.
I've read all the high rated "funny" and "interesting" comments thus far.
It's amazing how people are ready to take a hard dump on the movie before it's even released. It's even more amazing how people take one word "surfing" out of a press release or news report and negative fantasize until they are blue in the face like somebody who is REALLY constipated.
But the fact of the matter is.....just about every one of them will be at the theater within 2 weeks of release, ready to pay their 7-10 bucks (or equivelant currency) to see it.
Maybe their expectations will be so low that they might actually like it.
I'd view it more of a "Great Moments in Human Evolution" type story; having HAL malfunction was as much a criticism of the human paranoia* as it was on human-machine relations.
Oh, I disagree. Of course there's lots of fodder for disagreement here since Kubrick intentionally left so much of the story open to personal interpretation by focusing on symbolic imagery over dialogue and plot. However, I think you really miss the point of HAL and why he "goes insane" by killing the crew. Of course, you've read the books, which (IMO) explains too much and misses Kubrick's point. Realize that this was a collaboration between Clarke and Kubrick, and they definitely had differing ideas about the main themes of the story.
2001 starts off with aliens, personified by the black monolith, changing pre-cognitive apes (intended to be australopithecus) who were on the road to extinction into our semi-cognitive tool bearing forefathers. The apes were being out competed for access to water by another local ape tribe; they were being predated upon by leopards; local wart-hogs had no fear of them as they both competed for shrubs, grass, and berries. The result was that the first tool the apes learned to control was used to kill. Thus, a pattern begins where the beginnings of consciousness and self awareness lead to tool bearing for murder toward self-preservation.
As the bone turns to a ship in the segue from "The Dawn Of Man" section the first personal tool we see is of Heywood Floyd's pen floating in the corridor of the space shuttle. This signifies a shift in cognition and self awareness from tools for killing to tools for communication and peaceful endeavors. Yet, just as the apes before were nearing extinction because they were incapable of living in that environment, so were humans completely out of their element when surrounded by technology. Notice the 10 point instructions on using a zero-G toilet. Or the lies surrounding the find by the american moonbase purporting a non-existent epidemic in order to protect their find of the second monolith (which implies continuing tribalism and the potential for warfare throughout human society).
Then in Third section during the trip on Discovery to Jupiter, we see that the interactions between humans are as inhuman as can be. Bowman and Poole ignore each other as they eat. Poole has his birthday and watches the transmission from his family with the primary concern being whether his paycheck shows a recent raise. He orders HAL to raise and lower his bed; HAL complies without comment. In all of the interactions between humans there is a real sense of emotional self control in furtherance of misrepresenting emotional states, which HAL never quite understands. Bowman and Poole arrange to 'look at a broken transmitter' in the pod in order to get out of earshot from HAL, after learning that he made a mistake regarding the failure of the AE-35 unit. Then HAL watches them through the pod window and reads their lips as they discuss disconnecting him if he turns out to have erred.
And here is the critical point: When HAL learns of his fate his first action as a self-aware creature is to kill in self-preservation. Just as the aliens lifted those pre-cognitive humans into self-awareness and offered them self-preservation through tools for killing, so does HAL show his "birth" into self awareness by killing the crew to save himself. It was an example of humans taking on the goals of the aliens by creating machine intelligence of their own. The aliens understood what the apes would do with self-awareness and a bone, but the humans had no idea that once they created a self-aware creature, it would act of its own accord. Earlier in the film Bowman is asked by a reporter if HAL really felt what he was programmed to feel, and Bowman replies that he doesn't think anyone could know the answer to that question. Well, HAL's actions show that he was a thinking feeling being, because he acted out of self-preservation rather than for the good of the m
Jango Fett just struck me as some vaguely trailer-trash single dad who wanted to make a few bucks to raise his kid. Saying he was supposed to be "evil" smacks of George Lucas's bizarre moral philosophy, e.g. Anakin is "evil" because he's afraid, or because things piss him off -- or because he misses his mother, for Pete's sake. None of this stuff is "evil" to me, it's just human nature: some good, some bad.
Breakfast served all day!
I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.
You don't seem to have much of a sense of grammar, I have to say. Not that I'm a grammar Nazi, but I do know a little bit about speech. The subject in "Attack of the Clones" is the attack, not the clones, while the subject of "The Empire Strikes Back" is the empire itself, so there isn't really much of a parallel in the titles, beyond the parallelism in all of the titles.
Not to mention, your analysis is pretty week, because what you call "things in action" are both events and actions. An attack is an event. And so is a "strike", (certainly a military strike, which is what we are talking about).
And of course, all "events" are also "things". I mean, obviously a "new hope" or a "phantom menace" are not anymore corporeal things then events like a "strike", a "birth", a "return" or an "attack".
Finally, you can take any set of pairs and come up with some kind of crazy-ass meaning. For example:
"The Birth of the Empire" and "A new hope",
both are about beginnings.
"The Phantom Menace" and "The Empire Strikes Back" both deal with bad things happening. (The Empire, which is evil, doing something. And something being a menace, and a phantom menace at that As opposed to ANH, or RotJ, which are good, and AotC which is neutral)
"Attack of the Clones" and "Return of the Jedi"
Both "verb of the noun" form.
My point isn't that there is some clear pattern, just that you can draw parallels between just about everything if you really try.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
Remember when you expected huge epic space battles from Star Wars? I'm tired of these CG ground-based battles. Only one we've gotten so far, and it's a kid and his "cute" accidents that win the battle.
Where are the X-Wings? The Tie Fighters? The space battles?
Where is the history of the Rebellion, and their first design prototypes of the Y-Wings, X-Wings, and so forth? The creation of the Rebel fleet and bases on Hoth and so forth? I'd rather see Hoth again, not Tattooine.
You know, actual prequels to the storyline we know in the original movies. If Lucas wants to jerk off over CG--where is the absolutely monstrous, record-breaking spaceship battle taking place between Star Destroyers, fighter ships, and so forth that shows everyone how it's done?
Nah, lets watch a bunch of Gungans and some CG clones shoot through clouds of dust instead.
All these modern titles are run through focus groups. They're chosen based on marketing.
Basically, the hamsters in the focus rooms hit the pedal more times when "Birth of an Empire" was read.
I have one BIG reservation about the title. I think they should have done a focus group against the NAACP to see what they thought. "Birth of a Nation" is cited as the most racist, provocative film in American history. The titles are eerily similiar.
I would have chosen something like "Fall of the Jedi", to mirror "Return of the Jedi".
Others I am thinking up now.
"Empire Rising"
"Rebel Dawn"
"The Lost Hope"
"Fall of Darkness"
"Sith Ascension"
"The Path Chosen"
"Lost Futures"
"Tyrrany"
"Deception"
"The Dark Appretice"
"The Black Dawn"
"Vader"
"Darth Ascension"
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Jar Jar IS cow dung.
Machiavellian?? Nicolò Machiavelli would have stolen Palpatine's power base and obliterated opposition in that idiotic senate before breakfast. Palpatine's rise to power was as a subtle as a sledgehammer and about as dull.
The lauded Jedi Council was also a room full of idiots. Blindly they walked into trap after trap and then got slaughtered by the hundreds by flying into an ambush on purpose! "Gee Yoda, maybe we should fly down under cover fire, load up our friends, get the hell out, and nuke the site from orbit." "No no, let's try to attack from the center of the combatants, yeah!"
Did the Jedi, at the height of their power, just not like to use the force? I expect that a few hundred Jedi would have some seriously cool tactics involving force manipulation. But no, all I saw was isolated force pushes and medieval sword twirling.
Bah!
Not that I'm a grammar Nazi, but I do know a little bit about speech.
..
:-P
Not to mention, your analysis is pretty week,
'nuff said.
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Episode 1:
Good - The overall plot of Palpatine's manipulations to gain control of the Republican.
Bad - It's possibly *too* subtle. Even at the end, one of my friends *still* didn't realize he was Darth Sidious.
Good - Ewan McGreggor and Liam Neeson.
Bad - Everything about Anakin and JAR JAR.
Bad - Having R2D2 and C3PO be present.
Bad - Midichlorines.
Bad - The trade alliance droids.
Bad - Pretty much all the dialogue.
Bad - Everything related to Jar Jar's people and their battle later on.
Bad - A democraticly elected MONARCH? Come on.
Bad - Anakin blowing up the droid control ship.
Good - Darth Maul.
Bad - He's hardly in it.
Episode 2:
Good - Nearly everything in the Obi-Wan side of things.
Good - Dooku's conversation with Obi-Wan where he portrays himself as a rebel against the insidious dark side which is taking over the empire and needs Obi-Wan's help.
Bad - Obi-Wan automagically deciding he's evil.
Bad - EVERYTHING on the Anakin/Padme side of things. The romance is laughably bad.
Good - Yoda. (I'm in the minority)
Good - Obi-Wan.
Bad - Anakin.
Bad - Droids vs clones = Big battles where no one 'real' gets hurt. Hundreds die and I couldn't give a shit. Compare this to ANH where a handful of nearly anonymous pilots die, but we watch them scream in their cockpits. WE CARE as a result.
Good - Jar Jar dooms the Republic.
Bad - Pretty much everything on the trade federation planet.
Bad - The dialogue... AGAIN.
Basically, the foundations for good movies are there. That's what's so frustrating. We could've had really good movies, but Lucas shovelled shit on top of them in the form of pandering to developmentally disabled two-year-olds and TOYS R US.
You mean deja vi don't you?
SCOrm Trooper: "halt!"
Obi-Wan Kernelbi: "These aren't the sources you are looking for."
SCOrm Trooper: "...These aren't the sources I'm looking for..."
i'll go see it...
Two things you miss: the awful acting, and the awful writing. I'd agree that the overriding plot seems fine, if uninteresting because you're not compelled to care too much about anything thats going on. Thats a little true of the originals though. The trouble with the writing is that its just not clever. Old Star Wars had a few good lines in every movie. Theres nothing like that in either of the prequels. In fact, most of the dialog seems forced and unnatural, like they're reciting Shakespeare. Couple all that with the entirely-too-overt use of CGI, and a few Lucas lets-sell-merchandise(tm) characters, and you have a shitty set of movies.
Warning, this will probably get modded as a troll post..
Let's see...
(X) Bitch about George Lucas making oodels of $$
(X) Bitch about how stupid the titles are for the prequels
(X) Bitch about how the story sucks
(X) Bitch about all things Star Wars Prequel
(X) Pay my $10 to see it
There is the paradox!
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Except 'their' could cause confusion over number. Is it one stormtrooper or a troop? Using the common gender (his) is the most common but that's under fire from feminists.
Mario Cuomo used to use "her" as the common gender (eg: when the next governor is elected, I hope fortune will smile upon her.") I think that is more inclusive than "his" and not as confusing as "their".
Of course, _real_ geeks use Spivak Pronouns. I hope each prickly grammarian learns them as if eir life depended on it.
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