Slashdot Mirror


Securing Pricelessness

DeliBoy writes "In light of public discussions over security after The Scream was stolen, CSO Online offers an interesting look at museum security. The article details a system designed without budget restrictions intended to secure a painting in a public gallery. Interesting how the consultant balances public access with the need for security, comprised of redundant vibration sensors, overlapping microwave and infrared motion sensors, and an old-fashioned guard. "

208 comments

  1. Why not just... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Create a super strong plastic box filled with a toxic substance (radioactive/chemical) that's not damaging to the art and have a guard stand outside while another looks on in a camera room somewhere else?

    1. Re:Why not just... by 1984 · · Score: 2, Funny

      You may wish to patent your Magic Box and Magic Substance right away.

      Not only have you found some transparent substance that blocks radioactivity in a way that nothing else does (or what would be the point?) but you've also found a chemical mix that is horribly hazardous to everything except "pieces of art" (I said "art", not "eight").

      You're well clever.

    2. Re:Why not just... by getnate · · Score: 1

      The theif could just wear a gas mask.

    3. Re:Why not just... by Walt+Dismal · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Wolverines, I say. Lots and lots of hungry wolverines. And guards with BFGs. Better yet, why not put valuables on a fast-moving slide that can pop up in the air and hang off the ceiling upon alarm, so access takes awhile. Even two-three minutes could make a difference. A simple set of rails on the ceiling and a pre-tensioned draw-cable could do it. Imagine a garage door opener spring and cable drum on steroids.

    4. Re:Why not just... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Transparent lead, duh, and you create a box within the box! No need for any magic. Something built like:

      - - - - - - - -
      1 - - - - - - 1
      1 1 - - - - 1 1
      1 1 1 Art 1 1 1

      And Slashdot makes drawing my box within a box quite difficult by calling it junk characters.

      Please try to keep posts on topic.
      Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads.
      Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said.
      Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about.
      Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page)

      Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to CowboyNeal.

    5. Re:Why not just... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Landmines. That'll work.

      Though I guess you'd need splatter sheets over the paintings...

    6. Re:Why not just... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Or how about sharks with lasers on their heads?

      HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

      Yeah, that joke is in minute 16.

    7. Re:Why not just... by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 1

      At this rate, we might as well put the painting on a platform above the centre of a tank full of sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads.

    8. Re:Why not just... by Kent+Recal · · Score: 1

      I really like that idea. The same mechanism could be used to lift the lion's cage at the same moment and lock all doors/windows!
      Lion must be trained to return to cage after dinner where a DNA-sensor can return everything back to normal when it detects lion-kaka mixed with human DNA.

      The system would be pretty much zero maintenance (and no lion-food costs) as long as you have a steady supply of thieves.

  2. Securing Pricelessness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Security - $699

    Museum Ticket - $17

    Pricelessness - Priceless!

    1. Re:Securing Pricelessness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
      Security - $699
      They got it from SCO?!
    2. Re:Securing Pricelessness by noidentity · · Score: 1

      Is it just me or did anyone else think this article, based on its title alone, was going to be about a lawsuit from American Express regarding their "priceless" ad campaign (or is it VISA? Mastercard? I don't watch TV).

    3. Re:Securing Pricelessness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      At least they're not using Windows...

  3. too complex for practical use.. by dwipal · · Score: 4, Interesting

    i wonder how they will be calibrating all these many things to fire the right alarm. a mischievious person might get some kicks by raising false alarms every now and then, as all he has to do is to point a finger near the painting. i also wonder how they will test it, and keep it maintained without a large time overhead.

    1. Re:too complex for practical use.. by homerjs42 · · Score: 3, Informative
      Almost all museums that I've been to (admittedly a fairly small set -- the ones in LA and London mostly ;) Have at least some sort of motion detector in front of the artwork. And they do in fact get lots of false alarms -- somebody leans in too close and sets the alarm off. Usually the guard/guide/some guy wearing a blue suit comes over pretty quickly to see what the beeping is about and tells the person to lean back. So I guess that they don't mind that much about having some false alarms.

      For what it's worth :)

      vote for Oscar Berger.

    2. Re:too complex for practical use.. by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      Actually, to bring in a really BAD movie in on this...

      example, the movie "hudson hawk" Bruce willis throws a child's stuffed animal at the case and trigger's the system so he can see what is there.

      did the movie suck? yes, but it does have some good points, and cince it was so bad, it's campy and fun to torture friends with!

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    3. Re:too complex for practical use.. by gl4ss · · Score: 1

      * a mischievious person might get some kicks by raising false alarms every now and then*

      i don't know.. why don't you travel over to louvre and try it out? come in every day to raise some alarms?
      the real weak link in this is that there's a guard there. why? they can come in and tell the guard to take the painting down on gunpoint(in addition to the painting being 'around' and not going into a time delayed safe by some automatics).

      the last 'scream' painting stealing for example, doesn't matter if the police can be at the place in few mins if that's not fast enough.

      and just fyi, THERE WILL BE A LARGE OVERHEAD, that's the freedom you get when you do something where money doesn't matter!

      --
      world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
    4. Re:too complex for practical use.. by mdfst13 · · Score: 1

      "they can come in and tell the guard to take the painting down on gunpoint"

      Yes, because thieves are usually incapable of taking down paintings.

      The guard exists to mark off the false alarms; the cameras exist so that people can't just have the guard mark a real alarm as a false alarm.

    5. Re:too complex for practical use.. by Flaming+Foobar · · Score: 1
      Yes, because thieves are usually incapable of taking down paintings.

      Expensive paintings are always locked to the wall and difficult to take down without proper tools.

      --
      while true;do echo -e -n "\033[s\n\033[u\134_\033[B";done
    6. Re:too complex for practical use.. by Flaming+Foobar · · Score: 1
      i don't know.. why don't you travel over to louvre and try it out? come in every day to raise some alarms?

      (Note: I am not the OP). Louvre would be about the last place I'd want to try that in. It's HUGE and all the cool stuff is far away from any exit. Even if you manage to get past the Japanese photographers to Mona Lisa and cause an alarm, it will take you at least ten minutes to get to an exit queue, and that's if you are running...

      --
      while true;do echo -e -n "\033[s\n\033[u\134_\033[B";done
    7. Re:too complex for practical use.. by mdfst13 · · Score: 1

      "Expensive paintings are always locked to the wall and difficult to take down without proper tools."

      And a security guard would be more likely to bring these than a thief?

    8. Re:too complex for practical use.. by Flaming+Foobar · · Score: 1
      And a security guard would be more likely to bring these than a thief?

      At a gunpoint, possibly...

      --
      while true;do echo -e -n "\033[s\n\033[u\134_\033[B";done
    9. Re:too complex for practical use.. by mdfst13 · · Score: 1

      The supposed weakness was that the guard was already there. Now, you need to bring both guard and tools with you (at gunpoint!). Wouldn't it be simpler to just bring the tools?

  4. Comment from Article by hypermike · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Comment from the article, kinda interesting.

    My experience with Museum Directors and Curators is they like to show painting without intrusiveness, such as a low rail or rope. One thing that is less intrusive than placing a low rail/rope across the painting, is putting pressure sensors undernest the flooring that are wired in an alarm point system. This can be addressable to the painting name, gallery and location. Which is capable of notifying the control room security staff as well as the guard in the gallery. Example: if the alarm should be activated the camera would automatic override the monitor that the security staff may be looking at to and give immidate location of the painting as well as the orgin of the alarm right on the monitor. It is also possible to have your CCTV system program to follow movement such as room to room. The options are unlimited with today technology.

    P.S. Because of todays technology, the trend is now away from breaking after hours into museum-its now armed robbery during public hours.

    Alton Malcolm
    Chief of Security

    --
    1. Re:Comment from Article by DramaGeek · · Score: 1

      There's still nothing from stopping thieves from setting off multiple alarms at once to distract security from the real theft.

    2. Re:Comment from Article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3588282.st m

      A notable example of a brazen daylight robbery was the recent theft of "The Scream".

      This is the same thing as what is happening to car theft these days. The alarm systems and locks are so good that the way to steal a high end car is while its owner is in it.

      In both cases, the result is that better alarms have caused much greater danger to the people involved. Progress? Maybe not.

    3. Re:Comment from Article by Simonetta · · Score: 1, Flamebait

      Perhaps putting micro-transmitters in the frame might help.

      This would give the police the ability to track the picture right after it was stolen. But there is the risk that the thieves would know about this technique and cut the picture from the frame.

      I'm a little concerned about the loss of large collections of priceless art due a bombing of a museum. This might be the destruction of the building with a bomb, missle, or aircraft. Or even the loss of the museum when the city around is destroyed by an atomic weapon.
      It seems that there should be plans to get, say, a hundred paintings maybe several hundred feet underground within ten minutes should authorities determine that a nuclear event is imminent. Especially for the collections like the National Gallery in Washington DC, the National Gallery in London, the Louvre in Paris, the Uffizi in Florence. Any of these invaluable collections could be lost forever just because some schumck found a quarter-pound of plutonium at a Russian garage-sale and decided that it was the 'will of Allah' to do such a horrible thing.

      Please don't tell me that I'm prejudiced. You may have noticed that almost all of the truly horrible things that happen unprovoked in the world today happen because some asshole decided that it was the 'will of Allah' that such a thing should happen. We don't yet have any warning about these kind of actions. But an atomic bomb coming by ICBM will give us at least ten minutes warning even if we couldn't do anything to stop it. We might as well have the ability to protect things that are really important, like priceless art. It sounds extreme now, but it won't to the people looking at the paintings 500 or 1000 years in the future. Imagine if 'The Birth of Venus' by Botticelli had been burned by Savornella instead of having been hid for a few years.

    4. Re:Comment from Article by ShinmaWa · · Score: 1

      A notable example of a brazen daylight robbery was the recent theft of "The Scream".

      Are you kidding? "The Scream" was stolen? Oh my god! I hadn't heard!

      (end sarcasm mode)

      Thanks for catching up with the whole point of this article.

      --
      The /. Effect: Thousands of users simultaneously accessing a site to not read its content.
    5. Re:Comment from Article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just trying to connect the dots.

    6. Re:Comment from Article by black+mariah · · Score: 1

      Except that a well-built system accounts for such things.

      --
      'Standards' in computing only impress those who are impressed by things like 'standards'.
    7. Re:Comment from Article by Minna+Kirai · · Score: 1

      Thanks for catching up with the whole point of this article.

      I'll explain this slowly: her point was that many comments were going on & on about how to make better security systems, when the article itself showed that security systems were already so strong that brute force and threat of violence is now the weakest link. It was a reminder for all those non-RTFA posters spouting off.

    8. Re:Comment from Article by karnal · · Score: 2, Interesting

      We might as well have the ability to protect things that are really important, like priceless art.

      I don't know about you, but I'd be more worried about saving my ass than I would a few paintings.

      However, would the proper precautions be in place, we could save the paintings, and save ourselves in the same place!!!

      --
      Karnal
    9. Re:Comment from Article by Binary+Boy · · Score: 4, Informative

      The problem with moving art is that's when it's most vulnerable. Working in a similarly top-notch museum, I can pretty much assure you that in such a major emergency, nothing is going anywhere.

      The biggest risk seems to be takeover robberies these days, as the article aludes to. Museum guards are not typically armed, at least not in public, and they certainly are not trained to resist armed intruders in daylight with visitors around.

      Nighttime security is relatively easy - but balancing daylight security with the public's interests (casual, non-militarized galleries) is a toughy. Even in a place like where I work - a heavily fortified site on a easily defended hill overlooking Los Angeles - I can imagine with the right balls and some big guns, you aren't going to be stopped by museum security. You may have the SWAT team responding by the time you hit the gates, but I can imagine a quick exit route or three.

      Not that I've ever thought of such things.

      But again, other than a few national treasures - the Constitution in DC, several copies of Magna Cart - the risk of moving them in an emergency is not worth it.

    10. Re:Comment from Article by AdamHaun · · Score: 1

      I remember an old Time Magazine article that talked about secret Cold War-era plans to save special items like the constitution and the declaration of independence. Couldn't find a link, though.

      --
      Visit the
    11. Re:Comment from Article by tmalone · · Score: 1

      Yeah, I agree, screw putting people into shelters, let's save some art. I mean really, let's put this into perspective. We're talking about nuclear annihilation of an entire city, and you're worried about 'The Birth of Venus'? We should all be a little more concerned about the burning bodies, not the burning paintings. If you really want to preserve them, why not have high-res scans done of them so that we don't have to worry about pushing people out of the way in order to rush the priceless pieces of canvas into a bomb proof shelter. Generations of the future can enjoy the scans. It'll be fine.

    12. Re:Comment from Article by bickerdyke · · Score: 1

      > Please don't tell me that I'm prejudiced. You may have noticed that almost all of the truly horrible things that happen unprovoked in the world today happen because some asshole decided that it was the 'will of Allah' that such a thing should happen.

      You are. It will take a lot of "will of allah" to come even close to the destruction of art that were caused by allied bombings during WWII in germany.

      but at that time at least the american head of state wasnt that convinced that he ist only carrying out the "will of god".

      --
      bickerdyke
    13. Re:Comment from Article by Cynox · · Score: 1
      Perhaps putting micro-transmitters in the frame might help.

      Except the first thing the robbers did was throwing away the frames... Pieces of the frames where scattered along parts of the escape route (not that it helped police cach them before they dumped their car, though)

    14. Re:Comment from Article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting
      I can't decide if you put too low a value on art or too high a value on human life. Could be both.

      People die. Inevitably.

      Cultures don't have to; shouldn't, in fact. On some fundamental level, art is more important than any number of individuals. It's a mark of a form of existence higher than brutish individual animal survival. It deserves protection.

      Also, protecting artifacts of cultural significance is more practical; they're few, inanimate, and immobile. How many mongo bomb shelters do you plan to build to protect your droves of people? It doesn't take nearly as much resources to ensure that the "unprotected" survivors (and there will be survivors) will have a cultural continuity to rebuild from.

      Go ahead, make extensive (and expensive) plans to protect the citizens, but be sure you also take appropriate steps to make sure the society survives too. Otherwise, your survivors will step out into a dark age of barbarism, ugliness, and ignorance.

    15. Re:Comment from Article by tmalone · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yes, I'm quite sure that if we wer to lose the Mona Lisa, society would simply melt away. You are placing much too high of an importance on art. I love art. I go to the art museum at least once a month. In any new city the art museum is one of my first stops. No piece of art is so important that even one life should be traded for it. Yes, it would be a shame if the entirety of our society were lost, but that isn't very likely is it? Also, if something so catastrophic were to occur that all art were destroyed, I'm pretty sure all of use would be dead too. If we did survive, what would it really matter if we had the originals or some postcards of the Mona Lisa? People inevitably die, but so does art. Paintings won't last forever, they fade, they crack. Same with sculptures, same with photos. It's inevitable. Society's survival does not require art. New art will be created. That's what people do. I have a feeling that the pain of long dead artists will mean little to the few survivors of nuclear annihilation.

    16. Re:Comment from Article by Tyndmyr · · Score: 1
      And we all know terrorists would choose an ICBM for a delivery system...

      Now, any ideas on how to get that advance warning on a bomb delivered via van, etc?

      --
      Support more choices in goverment-Vote 3rd party.
    17. Re:Comment from Article by identity0 · · Score: 1

      Hmm, just thought I'd share my recent experiences with museum security.

      I recently went to a the "Treasures of Dresden" exhibit at the museum in Jackson, Mississippi. Basically, it was a collection of uber-valuable porcelens, armor, and jewels collected by the duke or prince of Dresden, including a gigantic diamond ornament that has the 2nd or 3rd largest diamond in the world in it.

      It wasn't a terribly big museum, but security there consisted of metal detectors and X-rays at the entrance, with maybe a half-dozen or so armed sherrif's deputies patrolling the hall and posted at the diamond's room. While you probobly could have overpowered the security if you were heavily armed and had speed and suprise, I doubt you could have made it out without casualties or before the rest of the police/sherrif's dept. got called onto the scene.

      This obviously was paid for by the county, but if some town like Jackson, MS can do it most other places probobly could too. Plus in the U.S., it's not too hard to get armed security guards.

    18. Re:Comment from Article by Binary+Boy · · Score: 1

      Treasures exhibits like this are a different story - it's much easier to resell jewels and raw precious materials as they have intrinsic value, and i'm sure the security is a big part of their insurance policy. It's not that most museums can't afford armed guards, but there are big differences between art and jewel shows in this respect.

  5. Imagine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    A beowulf cluster of sec....no

    Securing my preciiouusss...no

    1. Steal Priceless Object 2. ???? 3. Profit!!!

    1. Re:Imagine by Kehvarl · · Score: 1

      What I want to know is:
      In Soviet Russia, does pricelessness secure you?

    2. Re:Imagine by NegativeOneUserID · · Score: 1
      1. Steal Priceless Object 2. ???? 3. Profit!!!
      2. e-bay
  6. By an old-fashioned guard by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...do they mean one that always opens doors and pulls our chairs for the ladies, or one that shakes his fist at teen-aged whippersnappers?

  7. Here's an idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Put a fake on display, and hide the real one somewhere else.

    1. Re:Here's an idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Why is that "Funny"? It's not that uncommon, you know. /another AC

    2. Re:Here's an idea by Syriloth · · Score: 1

      From what I've heard, this is pretty common, especially with ancient artifacts and suchlike. Frequently your average Statue of Isis or whatnot on display at a museum is actually just a high-quality cast of the original.

    3. Re:Here's an idea by Oligonicella · · Score: 1

      For those who think this is a good idea, then why the fuck have a museum at all? Just have an on-line set of images. Jeez.

      The real thing cannot be faked.

    4. Re:Here's an idea by Bobdoer · · Score: 2, Funny
      hide the real one somewhere else.

      I know where! Put it in a safe behind the fake. They'll never find it there!

    5. Re:Here's an idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I personally believe the art is in the content, not the packaging. A book is still a book, whether it's the author's handwritten manuscript or a mass published edition. It's not like a live musical performance where each one is distinct.

    6. Re:Here's an idea by aussie_a · · Score: 1

      People will just look for the safe. No I say put the real one on display and put a fake in a safe. Trick them that way.

    7. Re:Here's an idea by I(rispee_I(reme · · Score: 2, Interesting

      You are merely restating the grandparent post in a way that sounds contrary. The recurring sentiment is, the medium is not the message. This is most definitely false, as even a moment's thought will reveal that there is no medium that doesn't affect its message to some degree.

      So, to summarize: While it's a great antitheft idea, showing copies of art in a museum defeats the purpose of having museums.

    8. Re:Here's an idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And I disagree with that. To me, it's the content of the art. Whether it's an exact duplication or the original, it does not matter to me.

    9. Re:Here's an idea by duggie · · Score: 1

      Put a fake on display, and hide the real one somewhere else.

      Exactly, just get a replica poster from the gift store, put some gloss on it (made from egg whites of course), and slap it into a frame. And there you go. No one will notice the difference.

      Oh and now you can keep the real thing safely in your bedroom.

      Courtesy of Mr. Bean

    10. Re:Here's an idea by AvitarX · · Score: 1

      except a high quality reproduction is not cheap to do. And collecting a lot of them is even not cheaper.

      If I go somewhere with many high quality reproductions of art from the masters it is still somewhere worth going. The medium is not irrelivent, It can't be a TV screen, In many cases it can't be RGB or CMYK limitted color spaces. But a maticulous copy that captures the brush strokes and the proper (within limits) pigment colors, and the matalics where needed is indeed acceptable in the place of the original (for me anyway).

      Nobody said replace the art with plasma screens, they said do it with reproductions.

      --
      Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
    11. Re:Here's an idea by FLEB · · Score: 1

      With the proper fidelity of copying, of both medium and message, both sides of the issue can be happy.

      I'm certain that materials and mechanical science is to the point (or would be adequate if applied to the question) that a replica of many art pieces... at least those of the scale and type that they can be stolen... can be well copied, with both the message and the idiosynchrosies(sp?) of the medium intact.

      --
      Information wants to be free.
      Entertainment wants to be paid.
      You just want to be cheap.
    12. Re:Here's an idea by maxwell+demon · · Score: 1

      The real thing can be faked. If it couldn't, there would be much less problems with faked art.

      Of course, there's a big difference between looking at faked art and looking at an art reproduction in a book or on a computer screen.

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
    13. Re:Here's an idea by maxwell+demon · · Score: 1

      I have an even better idea: The artist doesn't even produce an original, but immediatly produces a fake. Since the fake is from the artist himself, and the original doesn't even exist to compare with, noone will see the difference. And since the original cannot be stolen due to its non-existance, we save a lot of money on security. :-)

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
    14. Re:Here's an idea by milo_Gwalthny · · Score: 1

      Sort of like many contemporary artists who don't actually execute the work, their assistants do that. They just ideate. Warhol did this quite a bit, as have many others.

      There are works in the Saatchi collection by Warhol that he probably never touched, except to sign.

      --
      Milo
  8. Didn't anyone tell him? by cephyn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Keller likes to alarm windows and fasten them closed whenever possible.

    Didn't anyone tell him that proprietary closed windows models are inherently insecure and that an open-window solution is the better route?

    --
    Moo.
    1. Re:Didn't anyone tell him? by zx75 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I also don't think he enjoys having the public improving upon existing works...

      --
      This is not a sig.
    2. Re:Didn't anyone tell him? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't get it. Why would he wanna startle glass?

  9. Still easy to circumvent by nmoog · · Score: 0

    I know how "the scream" guys did it. You just wait until the gaurd is asleep, flick the "Alarm On" switch to off, and you're home free.

    1. Re:Still easy to circumvent by Yallis · · Score: 1

      Even worse, that's 55% true.

  10. manic collector by nbert · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Before anyone comes up with theories about manic collectors being behind of it all - there isn't a single case in history where a stolen painting was found in the basement of an art aficionado. It's mostly about blackmailing the insurance company in charge - it makes sense for them to pay 2 millions to the thief instead of paying 10 millions for the loss.

    1. Re:manic collector by lewiscr · · Score: 3, Informative

      Too bad it wasn't insured.

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3590702 .s tm

    2. Re:manic collector by Odin's+Raven · · Score: 4, Funny
      there isn't a single case in history where a stolen painting was found in the basement of an art aficionado.

      Yes, you're quite correct. I keep my stolen paintings in the attic.

      --Arthur Aficionado
      --
      A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
    3. Re:manic collector by nordicfrost · · Score: 1
      While the "Doctor No" theory is dismissed by art theft investigators, there might just be some to it. I'm thinking the craziest, most moronic dictator the world has; Kim Jong Il.

      But I digress.

    4. Re:manic collector by mlush · · Score: 1
      Before anyone comes up with theories about manic collectors being behind of it all - there isn't a single case in history where a stolen painting was found in the basement of an art aficionado. It's mostly about blackmailing the insurance company in charge - it makes sense for them to pay 2 millions to the thief instead of paying 10 millions for the loss.

      Apparently another motive for stealing Art, is that "organized crime" use them as security on intergang loans etc

    5. Re:manic collector by notcreative · · Score: 1

      I just looked up the word "aficionado." That's disgusting. Why would someone do that to a painting????

  11. Sounds good, but.... by marktaw.com · · Score: 3, Interesting
    "First, I want to see everyone who walks in--with a good picture. And I want security checks of carry-ins there"--in other words, backpacks and purses.
    This was the security model at my old job. Sure it prevented people from getting in with anything funny, but you could take whatever you want when you left and nobody bothered to check. People walked out with laptops, probably on a regular basis. Event he ones with the little wire security system were sawed through.
    1. Re:Sounds good, but.... by gcaseye6677 · · Score: 1

      It's kind of hard to search people on the way out. If they refuse, you have 3 options: do nothing, call the cops and hope they get there in time, or physically restrain the person and get your ass sued. Unless what you're protecting is very very important, like a casino's vault, it will probably be worth having a hands-off security policy.

    2. Re:Sounds good, but.... by G-funk · · Score: 2, Funny

      1. Make them carry an RFID badge as a condition of entry.

      2. Track how much they eat at the caffeteria, or if they go to take a dump

      3. Weigh them on the way in, and weight them on the way out.

      --
      Send lawyers, guns, and money!
  12. Illusion of Security by Da_Fridge · · Score: 0, Redundant

    Security is but an illusion. The safer you feel, the more likely you are open for attacks. There is no best way, easy way or cheap way to avoid this. It is only then, do you truely feal safe. And in being safe I mean clueless. Get some good insurance and when something does happen, bilk a large multinational corparation for the cost of the problem. Probelm solved. Until Insurance companies try to get you, then you are really screwed. So go dig a hole and die. Safe at last.

    --
    If I wanted water, I'd ask for DiHydrogen Oxide!
    1. Re:Illusion of Security by WhatAmIDoingHere · · Score: 1

      The problem with just depending on insurance money is the fact that the art itself cannot be replaced with any amount of money!

      --
      Not a Twitter sockpuppet... but I wish I was.
    2. Re:Illusion of Security by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Perhaps you're not aware that for many these days, art is an asset. The money being spent is climbing at an outrageous rate - true scarcity combined with lots of new billionaires and a few decades of precedent-setting auctions, and voila!

      Anyway, you're right - it can't be replaced. Yet. I can tell you with certainty that reproductions have been displayed in prominent museums for some years, and it's only getting easier - granted, not David, and I've yet to hear of a major painting, but reproductions are good for insurance.

      Likewise, digital imaging has progressed to the point that unless you had a loupe on the painting, many artists work can be reproduced convincingly on nice heavy canvas with clever framing and a sheet of glass over it.

    3. Re:Illusion of Security by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Tell me of just one reproduction? Anonymously?

  13. Put guards outside by Caius_Julius · · Score: 2, Funny

    Snipers nest with a view of the door...or at least someone outside the place to see the getaway.

    1. Re:Put guards outside by hayden · · Score: 4, Funny
      Snipers nest with a view of the door...or at least someone outside the place to see the getaway.
      Bloody campers.
      --
      Nerd: Derogatory term typically directed at anybody with a lower Slashdot ID than you.
  14. Theft will continue by Timesprout · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Most art objects are stolen to order, they are not crimes of opportunity. When a 'collector' is prepared to chough up enough cash professional thieves will invest the time and effort to defeat the security.

    --
    Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
    What truth?
    There is no dupe
    1. Re:Theft will continue by SlamMan · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Got anything to back that up? Can't recall the last time I ran across a a survey of professional art thieves' motivations. I'd assume it'd be more useful for blackmailing an insurance company.

      I mean, seriously, outside of movies, how often do you think billionaires hire thieves to steal artwork?

      --
      Mod point free since 2001
    2. Re:Theft will continue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And once the rich guy has the stolen art-work, they display it in their house for everyone to see.

    3. Re:Theft will continue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I can't tell you how I know this, but Munch's "The Scream" was commissioned for theft by, yes, a billionaire (not going to tell you who). You probably won't believe me--I wouldn't either. But you don't have to.

    4. Re:Theft will continue by bickerdyke · · Score: 1

      no. just for the guests scheduled for execution. DID YOU NEVER WATCH JAMES BOND?

      --
      bickerdyke
    5. Re:Theft will continue by yakovlev · · Score: 1

      The vault at the Baghdad Museum comes to mind.

    6. Re:Theft will continue by SlamMan · · Score: 1

      Good. I don't.

      --
      Mod point free since 2001
  15. RFID Chips? by e9th · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Why not embed them in each artwork? I bet there's a way to do it in most pieces without damaging them.

    Sensors at the exits, guards in the parking lot, etc.

    1. Re:RFID Chips? by ericzundel · · Score: 2, Insightful

      If you smuggled in aluminum foil and wraped up the painting in that, wouldn't you defeat this simple security measure?

    2. Re:RFID Chips? by e9th · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yes, although I suspect you would have a hard time doing it covertly.

    3. Re:RFID Chips? by f00zy · · Score: 1

      I'm fairly certain that someone with enough savvy (and balls) to break into a major museum and steal a notable piece of artwork could deal with rfids. security: "he's taking the painting... he's in the exhibit... oh wait, he's gone."

    4. Re:RFID Chips? by mblase · · Score: 3, Funny

      Why not embed them in each artwork?

      Because generally, it's easy to tell when a priceless work of art has been stolen without checking the logs at the exit door.

    5. Re:RFID Chips? by bigsteve@dstc · · Score: 1

      If you are organised, it is no more obvious than taking the picture off the wall.

  16. Rats by filtur · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was hoping this was going to be an article about people getting caught in comprising positions.

  17. But the problem was by dzym · · Score: 4, Insightful
    But I thought the problem was that the museum did NOT have an unlimited budget for security?

    Not to mention that when you get guns pulled on you you generally try not to get shot. Even if it ends up costing you something priceless (which still ends up as being less precious than human life, no matter how fine the art).

    1. Re:But the problem was by crabpeople · · Score: 1

      "if it ends up costing you something priceless (which still ends up as being less precious than human life, no matter how fine the art"

      really? you really think your more important to the world than say, the mona lisa or something like that?

      thats a killer ego you have i guess. its very easy to say something like "all human life is precious" but why? because it could be you, your family, your loved ones? thats kind of shortsighted in the face of the possible damage or loss to an irreplaceable original masterpiece.

      im not saying that we should force security guards into dying for "art" but, perhaps, hiring people who would willingly take a bullet for some priceless art, would be a good idea.

      --
      I'll just use my special getting high powers one more time...
    2. Re:But the problem was by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      "really? you really think your more important to the world than say, the mona lisa or something like that?"

      If it really came down to putting the Mona Lisa between me and a bullet, yes. It's the shooter who destroyed the painting, not me.

    3. Re:But the problem was by Oligonicella · · Score: 1

      "which still ends up as being less precious than human life, no matter how fine the art"

      That is only an opinion. There are scum on this Earth that I would trade their lives for a friggin' Bazooka Bubble Gum cartoon.

    4. Re:But the problem was by aussie_a · · Score: 1

      you really think your more important to the world than say, the mona lisa or something like that?

      I think everyone here (except for the mods who mod me up everytime I say "you're new here aren't you") are more important then a painting. And I don't even like most of the people here. I think OJ Simpsons/Michael Jackson/Bush is more important then the Mona Lisa. When it comes right down to it. It's a painting. And if a terrorist had to choose between destroying a human and the Mona Lisa, I'd be a lot happier if the painting was destroyed rather then the human.

    5. Re:But the problem was by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think "crabpeople" just volunteered to guard the painting.

    6. Re:But the problem was by Cecil · · Score: 4, Insightful

      really? you really think your more important to the world than say, the mona lisa or something like that?

      Who isn't? Maybe that homeless guy on the street who calls me names. Other than that though, all people will over the course of their lives perform some action that will further the human race in some miniscule way. That is more than can be said about the Mona Lisa. It may inspire someone, perhaps, but there is little evidence that it would do so more than any other painting or piece of artwork.

      There are some things worth dying for. A single piece of art isn't one of them. What if Picasso had died young while trying to save someone else's prized painting? It makes absolutely no sense to value a thing above a person. A person is what creates things.

    7. Re:But the problem was by Binary+Boy · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure how to measure importance of an object versus a human life. However, I can assure you guards in museums - at least in the west - are trained not to get themselves killed. Talk about insurance? Museums are insured against loss, but they are very afraid of any form of lawsuit. I personally know of a case where an act of vandalism was committed and the guards didn't even tackle the guy (admittedly, I was shocked by that, but they've had the fear of liability beat into their working class heads by the staff lawyers).

    8. Re:But the problem was by ratsnapple+tea · · Score: 1

      However, not everyone is a Picasso. Insensitive as it may seem, there are people (including, but not limited to, the homeless guy down the street who calls you names) who will contribute less to the world than the Mona Lisa's continued existence, even judging by criteria other than earning potential.

      Suppose I'm never going to find a job. (I'm currently unemployed, so this isn't too far a stretch.) Perhaps taking a bullet in order to save a priceless work of art is the most valuable way I can serve society.

      At least, that's my opinion.

    9. Re:But the problem was by bobbozzo · · Score: 1

      Then perhaps you should work as a security guard. :p

      --
      Nothing to see here; Move along.
    10. Re:But the problem was by ratsnapple+tea · · Score: 1

      Well, yeah. It'd be better than doing what I do all day--go out and drink.

    11. Re:But the problem was by Eivind+Eklund · · Score: 3, Interesting
      It makes absolutely no sense to value a thing above a person.

      This statement is a false axiom; it leads to contradictions. Let me give you the correct axioms: A thing only has value as a means to do something - it is always relative. Let's for instance say that I'm in a triage situation after a major car accident - 30 cars hit each other on the autobahn, lots of wounded, and I have a roll of tape, which can be used to stabilize the position of the heads of people so they can breathe. There's roughly fifty wounded, and I've only got enough tape to bind up 25 of these. In this case, I may let a person die to save the piece of tape necessary to bind them up. Here, I value their life below a piece of tape - and it is a correct decision, because that piece of tape can be used to save another life.

      The judgement scales up to more abstract situations. We do not have infinite resources pushed into health care - another case of putting a higher value on "things" (money) than lives. Every skyscraper built has some construction workers die - it's "part of doing business", We as a society has limited resources, and some people will actually die as a result of this. It is brutal, and it is an inevitable result of living in a real world.

      As for the value of Mona Lisa vs human life: I've actually got a figure for the value of human life, from military operations. That's $2 million plus training costs for the individual. As far as I know, this is in rough (give or take a factor of 3) agreement with the values assigned in other contexts where we actually have to calculate with human lives due to limited resources.

      I don't know the value of the Mona Lisa - but I know that The Scream was valued (apart from "priceless" ;) at about $80 million. We as a society run by demand and supply has ended up with a market value (the relative value in the free situation) of at least ten people for that one painting (and Mona Lisa is definately more expensive).

      A person is what creates things.

      Can't argue with that, except when it's a monkey that makes the art and an abstract painter that sells it ;-)

      Eivind.

      --
      Doubting the existence of evolution is like doubting the existence of China: It just shows that you're uninformed.
    12. Re:But the problem was by dajak · · Score: 1
      Even if it ends up costing you something priceless (which still ends up as being less precious than human life, no matter how fine the art).

      Some art is more precious than most people's lives as far as I am concerned, but no art is more precious than my life. The problem is that the security guard is deciding about his own life. The solution is obviously to shoot the security guards if the precious art is taken.

    13. Re:But the problem was by FurryFeet · · Score: 1

      As for the value of Mona Lisa vs human life: I've actually got a figure for the value of human life, from military operations. That's $2 million plus training costs for the individual. As far as I know, this is in rough (give or take a factor of 3) agreement with the values assigned in other contexts where we actually have to calculate with human lives due to limited resources.

      I call bullshit on that.
      In a free marketplace, supply and demand rule the market. A human life is worth as much or as little as the market says. So, go out with 2 million dollars and try to pay someone to get killed. Good luck.
      Also, the figure you quote is for a SOLDIER's life. I'm quite sure a Gandhi, Einstein or Berners-Lee are worth quite a bit more (that is, assuming you can put a dollar value on a human life, which I personally think is impossible).

    14. Re:But the problem was by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      Sorry, but this placement of all human life above properties of unspeakable value is ridiculous IMO. Human lives are only temporary; artifacts last far longer, and affect more peoples' lives than most individual people do. What's more, many people only cause negative effects on society.

      If you had to choose between preserving Saddam's life and the Mona Lisa, which would you choose? Or any other heinous criminal for that matter? Sorry, I'd pick the painting. There's a lot of people out there that the world would simply be better off without, which is why we have systems to keep them locked up, away from the rest of society.

      Now if you want to debate whether we should keep Joe Blow who's nothing special but isn't a criminal, or the Mona Lisa, that'd be a much better debate. But when people issue blanket statements like "all human life" is more important than any possession, I have to disagree.

    15. Re:But the problem was by Eivind+Eklund · · Score: 1
      In a free marketplace, supply and demand rule the market. A human life is worth as much or as little as the market says. So, go out with 2 million dollars and try to pay someone to get killed. Good luck.

      You're comparing apples and oranges. Free marketplaces are specifically only relevant for some form of commodities. Lives of people in general are a commodity to society; they can be traded back and forth, and in a situation of scarce resources, they have to be.

      Your individual life is, however, not a commodity to you. It is the ultimate non-commodity - you have one of it, and can't trade it back if you've traded it away.

      Also, the figure you quote is for a SOLDIER's life.

      That's right. It is roughly in the middle of the range of values I've seen, and is one that is simple to remember, so I've chosen to remember that one for this kind of discussion. There are other values used by e.g. insurance companies.

      assuming you can put a dollar value on a human life, which I personally think is impossible

      It isn't just possible - it is routinely done.

      I personally find refusing to accept that one can and should set dollar values on human life to be disrespectful of human life. I see it as refusing to accept and use one of the most powerful tools we have for optimizing human lives because it "feels bad" and requires hard thinking and hard choices.

      Eivind.

      --
      Doubting the existence of evolution is like doubting the existence of China: It just shows that you're uninformed.
  18. The cheapest solution and simplest... by CrackedButter · · Score: 1

    ...is to post a guard next to the painting, armed with a BFG daring people to touch it. Once they do, they're cannon fodder, let them work in shifts and hey presto, cheap security.

    1. Re:The cheapest solution and simplest... by jollyhockysticks · · Score: 0

      I don't see how the Big Friendly Giant would help, hes not exactly scary, probably he would just befriend the robbers and go about his dream catching.

    2. Re:The cheapest solution and simplest... by CrackedButter · · Score: 1

      Maybe...

  19. Sharks... by trudyscousin · · Score: 1

    ...with frickin' laser beams. That's the ticket.

    --
    Those who can, do. Those who can't, write technology blogs.
    1. Re:Sharks... by slarshdot · · Score: 2, Funny

      Send out the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you?

      --

      I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system's out of order!
    2. Re:Sharks... by G-funk · · Score: 2, Funny

      Smithers! Release the robotic Richard Simmons.

      --
      Send lawyers, guns, and money!
  20. Install a embedded GPS device and let them steal.. by dwipal · · Score: 2, Interesting

    and then catch those theives. Of course, some basic "preventive" security is must. some RFID also will help.

  21. the scream by prof187 · · Score: 2, Informative

    for anybody who doesn't know, or wasn't sure, which painting The Scream is, here...

    --

    My other sig is an import.
  22. GOOD LORD!!!! Let me save them some $$$$ by arfonrg · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Just secure a thick sheet of glass/lexan/plexiglass between the pictures and the people!

    DUH!!!

    --
    Your thin skin doesn't make me a troll
  23. If money was no object... by gr8_phk · · Score: 1

    If money was no problem, I'd just make a really fantastic replica of the painting (indistinguishable even by experts) and hang it on the wall with regular security and lock all the originals in one nice secure vault.

    1. Re:If money was no object... by magefile · · Score: 1

      (indistinguishable even by experts)

      What keeps the thief from selling a fake? Then saying, "no, the museum has the fake, I got the real one".

    2. Re:If money was no object... by jnicholson · · Score: 1

      Then the thief has defrauded someone who was willing to buy a stolen painting. I'm not seeing the problem here.

      --
      "Do not drill any holes in your cat - it will not like it."
      -- Nick Davies
    3. Re:If money was no object... by Oligonicella · · Score: 0

      No can do. Aging for one. Micro-technique, for another.

    4. Re:If money was no object... by aussie_a · · Score: 1

      Prove the one the thief has is a fraud.

    5. Re:If money was no object... by NuclearDog · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I believe he means indestinguishable (sp?) by someone standing a few feet away looking it it (EG: a collector), not someone with a lot of time and money pouring random chemicals on parts of the painting to determine the age.

      ND

      --
      This statement is forty-five characters long.
    6. Re:If money was no object... by jnicholson · · Score: 1

      Why bother?

      --
      "Do not drill any holes in your cat - it will not like it."
      -- Nick Davies
    7. Re:If money was no object... by aussie_a · · Score: 1

      What keeps the thief from selling a fake? Then saying, "no, the museum has the fake, I got the real one".

      Then respond to that if you don't think there's a need to prove it's fake.

    8. Re:If money was no object... by jnicholson · · Score: 1
      Nothing stops him from doing that. I don't think it's important to stop him from doing that. The museum knows it has the original; the thief has money he's defrauded out of someone who was conspiring to be a criminal in the first case.

      No-one with any reasonable claim to sympathy has been injured.

      Why, therefore, would I (or anyone else) care?

      --
      "Do not drill any holes in your cat - it will not like it."
      -- Nick Davies
  24. a movie you should see... by ecalkin · · Score: 1

    it's called How to Steal a Million.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060522/

    One of the more intresting parts is a gentleman that causes false positives on a sensor protecting a piece of art. this being at night, the guard gets tired of checking out the art. he then turns off the system. our thief then does his trick and notes the system being off. he then takes the art work and leaves a plain old bottle in it's place...

    eric

    1. Re:a movie you should see... by Skater · · Score: 1

      I was thinking the same thing. Great movie. Of course, having Audrey Hepburn in it helps a lot, too!

      --RJ

  25. Indeed by Colin+Smith · · Score: 3, Insightful

    It's not like 99.9% of the population are going to be able to tell the difference between a decent copy and an original. Rather than being funny, it sounds like one of the better ideas.

    --
    Deleted
    1. Re:Indeed by CJ+Hooknose · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Syriloth: From what I've heard, this is pretty common [...] Frequently your average Statue of Isis or whatnot on display at a museum is actually just a high-quality cast of the original.

      Colin Smith: It's not like 99.9% of the population are going to be able to tell the difference between a decent copy and an original.

      Yep, it's widespread and very useful, because then the original can remain with the professionals while the amateurs get something that's 99% as good. I remember going to the British Museum and seeing one room where they had reproductions of Michelangelo's David, Trajan's Column, and 5 or 6 other famous sculptures. I never would've been able to see the originals. I'm not sure how you'd copy paintings though.

      --
      Give a monkey a brain and he'll swear he's the center of the universe.
    2. Re:Indeed by Lord_Slepnir · · Score: 4, Funny
      I'm not sure how you'd copy paintings though

      Here's an idea

    3. Re:Indeed by bobbozzo · · Score: 2, Informative

      "The Museum Company", a mall chain store in the US, was selling "3-D Laser scanned" reproductions of Monet, Van Gogh and other paintings which are out of copyright.

      They looked real-enough to me (they had brush strokes, etc.).

      The store by me has closed, and I don't see any paintings on their web site, so I'm not sure if they are still doing it.

      They were selling for $350-600 for 2-3 foot paintings.

      --
      Nothing to see here; Move along.
    4. Re:Indeed by TVC15 · · Score: 1

      there was even a case where some zoo had a snake species that kept dying. they replaced it with a rubber replica and wasnt caught until some guy with too much time on his hands went back over and over and noticed the snake never moved over a period of several months.

      unfortuunately, google doesnt seem to reveal a link after 30 seconds of searching.

    5. Re:Indeed by MonkeyCookie · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure how you'd copy paintings though.

      There are actually painters who specialize in making copies of famous paintings. They will closely examine the original and hand-paint a copy, which will look just like it. They will then sell these copies, clearly marked as copies, to people for a pretty good price. It takes a lot of skill to exactly copy a painting by hand.

      Wealthy individuals apparently enjoy having handpainted copies in their homes if they're unable to obtain the original. It's like having a print, but 100 times better. Less scrupulous individuals have sold some of these excellent copies, and it's taken an expert to be able to tell it apart from the original. Usually, the copying artist will sign the painting with something (hidden behind the paint) that only shows up when you x-ray the copy. The copying artists like to get credit for their work, and the invisible signature imbedded behind the paint also helps prevent it from being mistaken for the original.

      I recall one incident (unfortunately I don't have a link) where even the experts mistook a copy for the original, and only an x-ray of the painting years later showed it to be a copy when the copying artist's mark appeared.

      These very skilled copying artists could very well produce much cheaper paintings that are virtually indistinguishable from the original. Museums could very well do this, and almost everyone would be fooled.

  26. Bah... by Xaoswolf · · Score: 1
    Why not just scan them all in, conver the museum into an internet cafe, and set up a website with all the paintings...

    I mean, it's not like we haven't already seen these paintings before...

    1. Re:Bah... by fishbowl · · Score: 2, Informative

      "I mean, it's not like we haven't already seen these paintings before.."

      I never really appreciated Van Gogh until I was in the same room with one of his paintings. There is an important dimension which is lost in any reproduction.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    2. Re:Bah... by DeepHurtn! · · Score: 1
      Yes, thank you. Quite frankly, I've been a little shocked (although I really shouldn't be, I suppose) at the number of suggestions similar to the grandparent's.

      People should read Benjamin's "The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction. It's even more important, IMHO, in the age of electronic reproduction.

  27. Embed an RF thingy into the artwork by hattig · · Score: 1

    Then simply have a shop style bleepy thing that is set off if one of the RF thingies goes through it!

    Or maybe attach the paintings to the walls with something a bit more secure than a nail hehe

  28. How to stop "Smash and Grab" by Caius_Julius · · Score: 1

    You put armed plainclothes or hidden guards OUTSIDE the building. Guards inside and out in the open are useless excpet for keeping the foolish from bumping into things.

    Guards hidden inside will have to deploy to the proper area to have an effect on the scene and may be ambushed themselves.

    Guards outside the building know the only places people can exit, always be stationed around there, and can ambush the robbers...

    1. Re:How to stop "Smash and Grab" by Minna+Kirai · · Score: 1

      always be stationed around there,

      Guards stationed anyplace can always be ambushed by violent attackers. A few days of familiarizing with the target will detect all plaincloth guards. And even hidden guard can be pinpointed easily, such as by triggering a false alarm.

      and can ambush the robbers...

      How? An alarm goes off, a few shots are fired, and 100 panicked or confused guests come wandering out the doors- who's he going to ambush, exactly?

    2. Re:How to stop "Smash and Grab" by JimBobJoe · · Score: 1

      Guards outside the building know the only places people can exit, always be stationed around there, and can ambush the robbers

      And in spite of all this good common sense, you almost never see guards stationed outside a building, and if you do, they are specifically there to control people going into the building (or are ceremonial.)

      I suspect the issue may be one of containment--guards outside the building can be distracted by other things too easily.

  29. If only... by linuxwrangler · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Sure, if budget is no object...but it is.

    I build an alarm system for a major campus art museum back in the day. This was no small affair - we were replacing an old system that never worked well. The old system had vibration sensors on all the panes in the skylights. Unfortunately these sensors were not only unreliable but also worked in groups of a couple dozen sensors for a skylight area and all sensors had to be calibrated together - a very time-consuming process as it involved after-hours work up on a 30-40 foot airlift (with all tools on teathers to protect the art, of course) and also involved removing the diffuser panel under each of the glass panes. Needless to say the skylights were soon unprotected. We replaced these with redundant infrared motion detectors covering all skylight entry points.

    Also, the old system had sensors in groups so when an alarm went off (or went bad) you only got a general area of the problem. We replaced this with about 150-200 individual zones. Every door and every motion detector was on a separate zone. In addition, we had a custom made map of the museum with lights for each alarmed door or zone so the central guard could immediately see where the alarm was coming from. Problems were easy to fix - no hunting down a bad switch from among 20 or 30.

    We had several pan/zoom cameras with motion-detection capability. A time-lapse recorder ran constantly and sped up to full-speed when motion was detected.

    The security room was upgraded with steel walls and bulletproof glass. In addition, being a campus-run museum, a duplicate alarm receiver was installed at police dispatch (no maps, just a printer showing alarms).

    The central guard could control all the lighting in the museum and speak to or listen to anywhere in the museum through the intercom/speaker system.

    There's more but all-in-all it was a heck of a system and fun to build.

    The end result: management cut back all but one of the off-hours guards (the one in the control room) and eventually cut that person as well since, after all, the alarms went to the police station anyway...

    --

    ~~~~~~~
    "You are not remembered for doing what is expected of you." - Atul Chitnis
    1. Re:If only... by gcaseye6677 · · Score: 1

      That is perhaps the hardest security problem to fix: management who does not want to pay for security. This is the reason most banks don't have armed guards, which would pretty much prevent robberies except for those by the most determined people. The bank would rather pay for the occasional robbery loss than the guard. I am surprised to see this reckless cost cutting attitude in a university museum, however.

    2. Re:If only... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Banks are typically held up with lots of people inside. The reason armed guards aren't employed is simple: one stray bullet from a firefight between security and robbers, should it end up in a bystander, will cost the bank more than the entire branch has in it at any particular moment. Christ, imagine the size of the settlement a guy would get if he were shot by the bank's security guard...

      When faced with moving targets in a high stress situation, handgun accuracy is very poor, even for police officers. Security guards would probably do far more harm than good.

      Besides, to a bank, the $100k a thief will get away with is lunch money.

    3. Re:If only... by sootman · · Score: 1

      Excellent post, both interesting and informative. Could you provide a few more details about the security system, along with where the museum is and the rough cash value of the artworks contained therein? Thanks. ;-)

      (Just kidding about the details, but I was sincere that it was interesting.)

      --
      Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
    4. Re:If only... by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't call this "reckless cost cutting". They invested in improving their automated security systems so that they no longer had to rely on unreliable security guards. These aren't brilliant scientists and engineers here, or even highly trained soldiers who are experts in security; they're minimum-wage lackeys who can't get a job anywhere else. You want the museum to forgo an expensive automated system in favor of employing some guys who fall asleep on the job and wouldn't even bother getting physically involved if there was an incident (either because they're not paid enough to risk their lives, or because the museum policy is for them to just call the police)? I would call that reckless.

  30. How would someone possibly sell that thing? by goofyheadedpunk · · Score: 1

    Part of securing a priceless artifact is also getting it back if the security guard falls asleep and the thing gets stolen.

    The person who stole The Scream should, one would hope, have a very hard time selling it. He's going to have to be insanely discrete. "Let's just say that *wink* my friend has this painting that *wink* he'd be willing to sell you." just won't cut it.

    Maybe it's just me, but in my experience over-reacting in one area and not reacting in another is silly, expensive quite often, and futile.

    While mueseums might become more secure there are still going to be things stolen. Nothing is 100% secure. If mueseums are going potentially lessen my non-stealing viewing pleasure I'd like to also know how they're planning on re-coordinating with International Law enforcement.

    --

    What if the entire Universe were a chrooted environment with everything symlinked from the host?
    1. Re:How would someone possibly sell that thing? by goofyheadedpunk · · Score: 1

      EDIT: Damnit, I can't type. Part of securing a priceless artifact is also getting it back if the security guard falls asleep and the thing gets stolen. The person who stole The Scream should, one would hope, have a very hard time selling it. He's going to have to be insanely discrete. "Let's just say that *wink* my friend has this painting that *wink* he'd be willing to sell you." just won't cut it. While mueseums might become more secure there are still going to be things stolen. Nothing is 100% secure. If mueseums are going potentially lessen my non-stealing viewing pleasure I'd like to also know how they're planning on re-coordinating with International Law enforcement. Maybe it's just me, but in my experience over-reacting in one area and not reacting in another is silly, expensive quite often, and futile.

      --

      What if the entire Universe were a chrooted environment with everything symlinked from the host?
    2. Re:How would someone possibly sell that thing? by goofyheadedpunk · · Score: 1

      I also can't remember to change the tab to plain HTML.

      Today's not the greatest day.

      I'm just going to crawl under a rock and starve to death or something.

      --

      What if the entire Universe were a chrooted environment with everything symlinked from the host?
    3. Re:How would someone possibly sell that thing? by visgoth · · Score: 1

      I'm guessing then, that ebay would not be a viable option in this particular case...

      --
      My patience is infinite, my time is not.
    4. Re:How would someone possibly sell that thing? by recharged95 · · Score: 1
      The actual thief may have a hard time, but his partners or future generations can sell it in a 80 or so years. Just look at Archimedes text (Method) and the Palimpsest.

      Ironically, for the palimpset, the thieves actually helped us in locating it, since most wars end up burning priceless works.

    5. Re:How would someone possibly sell that thing? by starsong · · Score: 1
      The person who stole The Scream should, one would hope, have a very hard time selling it. He's going to have to be insanely discrete.

      I agree, we should cut him into tiny pieces.

  31. And the article skips over the human factor... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Yep there are some real whiz bang gadgets out there, but it all boils down to having a comfortable security station with a talented group of people watching the video screens and monitoring the alarms zones and then effectively communicating events to the floor guards.

    In reality what you get is a run down closet in the basement with a single bored guard, with little training, getting minimum wage. It negates the thousands of dollars spent on gadgets. Did you see anything in the article about staff and staff training? No - just gadgets.

    At night you can get away a minimal number of guards because you can set up cameras systems to automatically shift to a video spot based on motion detection. During the day this isn't an option. It requires constant screening of all video stations.

    There's more to security than installing alarms.

    1. Re:And the article skips over the human factor... by Binary+Boy · · Score: 1

      I would agree in general, from what I've seen. In the museum where I work, however, the guards are treated quite well, they have incessant training and drilling, and though we have a lot of technology to support them, in the end they are the primary defense.

      Now, in a major catastrophe, the entire site can be locked down, but that's reactive, won't usually help to prevent an unexpected theft, but is great to secure the collections in case of an earthquake (Los Angeles) or other emergency. I've been through three lock-downs in 4 years there.

  32. One Flaw: by kai.chan · · Score: 1

    But what if the security guard was really a ninja in disguise? Then he can flip out and kill all the visitors, and then wail on a guitar that produces sonic waves to disarm all security systems, and then he can proceed to steal the artifacts. Conclusion: The security guard is the flaw of the system.

    1. Re:One Flaw: by Maul · · Score: 1

      No, all real ninja are too busy killing pirates to worry about stealing art.

      --

      "You spoony bard!" -Tellah

  33. It will all get lost by JanneM · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Any work of art (or any physical object) will be lost at some point. Maybe not today, maybe not this century, but for any artwork, at some point, the circumstances will will collude to lose it it some manner. Increasing the efforts to counteract that may delay the inevitable, but will not prevent it.

    So, what do you do? Encase the piece in extreme layers of security to stave off its inevitable dissolution - but then also greatly hinder any real appreciation of the work by spectators? It's not easy to enter a contemplative frame of mind facing a painting at four or five meters, through ten cm of safety glass and surrounded by armed guards.

    Or, we accept its eventual destruction or loss as inevitable, relax the measures a bit, and let people appreciate it - _really_ appreciate it, up close and undisturbed - while it lasts.

    If I'd been a sappy touchy-feely type, I'd made a comment about how that is a lesson for life as well, but I'm not, so I won't.

    --
    Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
  34. What would Munch think of it? by MasterDirk · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Being Norwegian I was quite interested in this, as were the Norwegian media. The largest Norwegian television-channel, NRK, interviewed a biographer of Munch's. When asked what he supposed Munch would have thought of this theft he replied something like (and I'm translating off the top of my head here):

    If it were on one of Munch's better day's he'd probably say something like: "The Geniality of the artwork lies in the Thought and the Act, not in the Result. The Thought caused the Act, and I did it. The work itself is of little importance." But, Munch was a temperemental man so he might have been livid.

    And it wasn't exactly the only example of The Scream ("Skrik"), as there are several other versions made by Munch around the world. Still, I wish the thieves all possible good luck in selling the best-known image in the western world without being found out :)

    --

    "Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

    1. Re:What would Munch think of it? by linzeal · · Score: 1

      Why do you informative TV news while I get CNN and Foxnews? I hate being an American.

    2. Re:What would Munch think of it? by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      Still, I wish the thieves all possible good luck in selling the best-known image in the western world without being found out :)

      What? Someone stole Paris Hilton?

    3. Re:What would Munch think of it? by nordicfrost · · Score: 1
      Also being Norwegian (Halla, kompis!) I'm pissed off at the Oslo Art Collection Fund, for totally ignoring security once again. The security in Norwegian museums is so bad, it is a separate subject in the museum curator classes at the University of Oslo.

      As I recall, there are four or five separate complete works of Skrik (The Scream). One is oil on canvas, one is crayon on canvas, one is pastel on paper and the last is coal on paper. The oil painting, widely recgonized as the original, hangs at our National Museum. But it was stolen once. The thieves put a ladder next to a window, and walked in, picked up the painting and left within seconds. They even left a postcard saying "Thanks for the sucking security" or something to that effect. This was in 1991, they were caught and the painting returned.


      Anyway, the ONLY way to secure art is to have exclusion zones. That would be a physical barrier that prevent robbers from accessing the painting. The only thing securing the painting at the time of theft was a steel thread wire. The thieves were not prepared, since they only had steel wire cutters which made the job a bit longer and frustrating than it had to be.


      What I'm trying to say is: how hard can it be to 1) make a hole in the wall, 2) hook up some electromotors to a rail guide holding the picture 3) make the picture gilde fast in to the recess in the wall 4) have a couple of steel barriers close to 3/4s of the opening (to prevent that kids touching the picture cut their hands off), all this activated by an alarm? come on! It can't be that hard?

    4. Re:What would Munch think of it? by tepples · · Score: 1

      By now, just about everybody who wants to has "stolen" Paris Hilton on eMule.

    5. Re:What would Munch think of it? by zarr · · Score: 1
      Why do you informative TV news while I get CNN and Foxnews?

      We pay.

  35. Nice try... by mblase · · Score: 1

    Put a fake on display, and hide the real one somewhere else.

    That's called "security through obscurity," my friend.

    1. Re:Nice try... by mOoZik · · Score: 1

      You say it like it's a bad thing. Would you prefer open source museums? *rolls eyes*

    2. Re:Nice try... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No. Put the fake on display then *destroy* the original. (ie. encrypt with a one time pad and throw both pads away) That way *noone* can steal it! ;-)

  36. IN SOVIET RUSSIA... ;-) by PaulBu · · Score: 0

    They make you watch "How to Steal a Million" in high school!!! ;-)

    No, seriously, back in late 70s-early 80s our school (Moscow #45, anyone else from there?) somehow got that movie and it was a required part of our (middle? or high? do not remember which grade) school English class. No, not only watching once, but we had its script printed out and had to memorize and recite scenes...

    Not that I had any fun doing this back then, but it was lots of fun to watch it on TV a couple of years ago and shock my GF by reciting the dialogue before characters actually say it. ;-)

    And yes, it is actually a great movie!

    Paul B.

  37. Re:Of course that's nothing... by tomhudson · · Score: 4, Funny
    Actually, anyone saying they were Securing Pricelessness would probably have the humour-deprived legal monkeys at MasterCard sending them a Cease and Desist... like these guys http://www.attrition.org/news/mc/

    It's getting to you can't even speak without infringing someone's bs copyrights : "drivers wanted" (VW), "do the right thing" (Quaker Oats), "just do it" (Nike), "hello, world" (SCO).

  38. Re:Install a embedded GPS device and let them stea by rawket.scientist · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Yeah, but thieves often cut paintings free of their frames to make them easier to move, hide, etc. It's kind of a lost cause to bug a painting, unless you put the locator in an indispensable part of the canvas itself, and I don't think many curators would do that to a pricless masterpiece.

    Plus, to bring it back to someone else's point, most major art thefts are going to involve ginormous insurance liabilities. Those insurance companies don't want to encourage wary thieves to go poking through the Mona Lisa with a pair of tweezers.

    --
    John Hancock wuz here.
  39. MOD GRANDPARENT UP by aussie_a · · Score: 1

    merely cause I'm sick of people telling others how to mod.

  40. Art theft in Movies by Macgrrl · · Score: 1

    or a couple of fun movies that show the two ends of the spectrum for art theft try Thomas Crown Affair for the sublime, and Ordinary Decent Criminal for the ridiculous.

    --
    Sara
    Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
    1. Re:Art theft in Movies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you forgot the GREATEST art thief movie of all time...

      HUDSON HAWK with Bruce Willis.

      it's acting and story make the entire LOTR trilogy look like a bad hack attempt!

  41. Re:GOOD LORD!!!! Let me save them some $$$$ by rawket.scientist · · Score: 1

    Just secure a thick sheet of glass/lexan/plexiglass between the pictures and the people!

    You could do that in movie theaters to prevent bootleggers, but think of the outrage that would generate in the viewing public.

    Now, replace "movie theaters" with "The Louvre" and "viewing public" with "art world" and imagine the uproar. Not to be a total elitist snob, but isn't it a much greater loss to culture to be cut off from appreciating the nuances of the great masters than to miss a frame of Pamela Anderson's "Bikini Car Chase 7"?

    --
    John Hancock wuz here.
  42. old fashioned security guard? by zephc · · Score: 1
    --
    "I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false." - L. Ron Hubbard Jr.
  43. Re:GOOD LORD!!!! Let me save them some $$$$ by black+mariah · · Score: 1

    I don't see anyone bitching about other artifacts being in display cases. Pull your head out of your ass, mmmkay?

    --
    'Standards' in computing only impress those who are impressed by things like 'standards'.
  44. The Human Factor by FxChiP · · Score: 1

    In one instance, I'm glad that they're keeping people employed by using the good old-fashioned guard. And human interpretation is usually much better than a machine trying to perform a simple task and alarm if their criteria for someone breaking in is met.

    However, at the same time, there's always the human weakness in a given security system. If someone were able to pose as a fellow security guard, museum archivist, or anyone higher-up than the security guard, they could still get access to the painting through the guard. Of course, this depends on how smart the guard is (and the procedures of the museum), but it could probably work.

    As Kevin Mitnick has shown, humans can be a great weakness to a security system as well as a great strength. The only real exception here is that it's in the real world with a museum rather than through the internet/modem lines with a corporation (or a security expert's laptop)

    But that's just my opinion. :)

  45. Why by PenGun · · Score: 0

    If your society was based on anything other than winning, you would have less thieves.

    PenGun
    Do What Now ??? ... Standards and Practices !

  46. Re:GOOD LORD!!!! Let me save them some $$$$ by Tanktalus · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Well, since you asked ...

    Seriously, I don't see a problem with GP's idea. Last time I was at Le Louvre, admittedly in the late 80's, the Mona Lisa was behind plexiglass, reflected on two mirrors, and physically located at least a storey away (to me, a grade 9 student at the time, it seemed pretty cool). If it's that important, that's what the museum will do. For whatever reason, The Scream was not priceless enough to warrant this.

  47. Re:GOOD LORD!!!! Let me save them some $$$$ by mOdQuArK! · · Score: 1
    thick sheet of glass/lexan/plexiglass

    I think that, as long as the thieves know what they have to get through, there are easy ways to break through all of these materials.

  48. Re: An Appeal by benzapp · · Score: 1

    The problem we have with your argument is that it can be said of civilization as well. Sometime in the future, the United States will collapse, its language will change, its entire culture will cease to exist, a relic for the people of the future to study. Why bother trying to prevent it? It is inevitable, all civilizations decline and collapse eventually.

    The point is this is what we have been doing since the first city was founded tens of thousands of years ago. Do you think the people in ancient Izmir believed their city would last for thousands of years? It did, but they certainly knew most did not.

    This is the cycle of life. Ascendence and decline, light and dark, life and death. So we live in a delusional age which arrogantly believes it will last forever. That doesn't mean you should be taking the opposite view, and argue that defeat is inevitable so forget about it.

    Life is struggle

    It is this struggle that defines who we are, that gives our life meaning. It is what allows our greatest moments of happiness and glory, for they are only as great as the despair and defeat we endure. We must strive to preserve our culture, to strengthen it, for that is ultimately our gift to our children, and our key to immortality. We may fail, but our humanity comes through striving despite the bad things that happen.

    --
    I don't read or respond to AC posts
  49. a simple solution....? by Rastan_B2 · · Score: 2

    this seems like an obvious solution that I just thought of, but I'll post it anyways. For the really nice artworks that need protecting, the room has 2 doors to get into it (separated with a small hallway). Both doors cannot be opened at the same time. Have a sensor on the artwork that locks both doors when lifted.

    1. Re:a simple solution....? by nordicfrost · · Score: 1
      This is frequently used in banks. The cashiers have complete control over the doors, and the robber have to make one of them open the first, then second door to get out.


      Problem being: This is the point when they start taking hostagesto force the cashiers to open the doors.

  50. Re: An Appeal by JanneM · · Score: 1

    I did not say "forget about it". I just said, do not attempt to preserve it to the point where you remove the reason for preservation in the first place.

    We could put paintings in specially designed steel crates, in a nitrogen atmosphere, weld them shut, encase in uge blocks of concrete and store at the bottom of a mine. That will save them for a long, log time (though not forever). That will also make the works utterly pointless - they may as well have been destroyed for all practical purposes.

    An open society makes for an excellent parallel, actually. You should not ignore security (as a broad term) altogether, but if you are too heavy-handed and too intrusive, you end up destroying the very freedoms that you are attempting to preserve.

    --
    Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
  51. tracking device... by Majestix · · Score: 1

    some time of innocuous tracking device affixed to the painting? RFID maybe? some type of monitoring system that ensures that the paintings stay in certain locations.... ...yeah i know it sounds stupid...

    --
    --- I was far from home, and the spell of the Eastern sea was upon me. -Lovecraft-
    1. Re:tracking device... by CptCnute · · Score: 1

      Tracking devices are used; I believe there was one on the Scream when it was stolen. It was found in the grass about 20 meters from the museum after the robbery.

      --
      Look! No sig!
  52. Old fashioned guards by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 1

    Well, million years of experience have proven us the robustness of the system! :)

  53. They've *already* sold it. by Otto · · Score: 1

    If the purpose of the theft was to sell it to a collector, then it was sold before they ever stole the thing in the first place. Some rich mofo hired them to take it, simple as that.

    If it was not sold, then it was stolen in order to ransom it back to the insurance company.

    When you're dealing with extremely rare items like this, it's always one of these two, if indeed money is the motivating factor at all.

    --
    - Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  54. I don't care what anyone says... by midnightcandidate · · Score: 1

    ..."vibration sensor" just SOUNDS dirty. Then again, this isn't anything a little chlorine gas couldn't handle... oh, right, preserve the paintings. Damn.

  55. "Is that a Monet on the wall?" by SnappingTurtle · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Reminds me of my short stint working in a museum. As part of procedure the first few days I was there I met with the chief of security to be indoctrinated on security rules.

    During the meeting I suddenly realized that the nice little painting hanging on the wall wasn't just a print... it was a real, live, authentic Monet.

    I asked about it and the security guy shrugged. He said that like most museums they had far more art in storage than on display, and so they often used it in office decoration.

    I mean, the thing didn't have so much as a plastic covering to protect against coffee spills. I remember thinking that there'd be no way I'd want such a thing in my office.

    --
    I've found that my posts don't format quite right w/o a sig.
  56. False alarms by nordicfrost · · Score: 1

    There are two different kinds of false alarms. The motion detection thingy is practical for notifying the local guards that some joker is trying to fondle the painting, and stopping that from happening. The other kind is, of course, when that motion alarm automatically alerts the police. Which might be what happened prior to the Scream theft. neither the museum nor the police wnat to comment on how many times they were called out to a motion alert prior to the theft.

  57. Foolproof Security by mysticwhiskey · · Score: 1

    Seal item in uranium block, bury somewhere in Iraq. Ain't nobody gonna steal that fucker.

    --

    Stuck down a hole! In the middle of the night! With an owl!

  58. Anti-integration by Phreakiture · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This is the part that impressed me: 9 Closed-circuit TV cameras . . . Anti-integration makes things difficult for the bad guys; it means they will have to break two systems instead of one.

    Redundancy is a Good Thing. Heterogeneous redundancy is a Better Thing. Here endeth the lesson.

    --
    www.wavefront-av.com
  59. the obvious solution by benraldo · · Score: 1

    Simply wrap it in tin foil

  60. Mona Lisa by invisik · · Score: 1

    I can' find my pictures from when we visited the Mona Lisa in France, but I don't recally much security around it. Everyone was taking pictures of it, but I believe it was in a glass case of some sort on the wall. It was buried deep wihtin the museum, about a 20 minute walk in, up and down many stairs, so that alone would make a quick escape difficult.

    -m

    --
    http://www.invisik.com
  61. Wouldn't have protected "The Scream" by SpdyVkng · · Score: 1

    In Norway security guards are not allowed to carry weapons. The robbers were armed, and I think they fired warning shots. Any sane person would have stood still until it was over.

    No alarms or anything else would have helped, because the painting was on the wall and accessible.

    The canvas was cut out of the frame, so no securing of the frame would have been of any help.

    The only thing which would have helped would have been closing down the room with the robber, but that would have risked the wellbeing of the other people in the same room, there were at least one other person in there with the robber.

    --
    The Speedy Viking
  62. lexan is the shit by hooqqa · · Score: 0

    Since I can get scraps on ebay, I picked up some lexan for what plexi would cost. Once I installed it as a window you couldn't tell it was 1/4" - it's totally thickless. I mentioned this to my brother and he described this huge (10 foot or so) block of lexan with text lazor etched in the center that could be easily read. I'm not sure technically, but it seems a lot more ..transparent (or something) than glass.

    1. Re:lexan is the shit by hooqqa · · Score: 0

      oh, does anybody suppose it is more translucent than air?

  63. Maier museum at RWMC-Project Y by edremy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I'm a little concerned about the loss of large collections of priceless art due a bombing of a museum. This might be the destruction of the building with a bomb, missle, or aircraft. Or even the loss of the museum when the city around is destroyed by an atomic weapon. It seems that there should be plans to get, say, a hundred paintings maybe several hundred feet underground within ten minutes should authorities determine that a nuclear event is imminent. Especially for the collections like the National Gallery in Washington DC, the National Gallery in London, the Louvre in Paris, the Uffizi in Florence.

    Interestingly, I work at Randolph-Macon Woman's College in Lynchburg VA, and just got back ten minutes ago from a tour of the Maier Museum with a student discussion group I lead.

    The Maier is the 1950's version of exactly what you describe. It was built in 1951 as a bomb shelter for the National Gallery in case of nuclear attack on Washington. There was a fleet of trucks always at the ready outside the gallery to grab the most "valuable" artworks and run them down to the Maier. The building is basically a blockhouse, although it has been spiffed up a lot since.

    With advances in technology, it became clear in the 1970s that this just wasn't going to work. (Not to mention Lynchburg has a large number of nuclear industries here like Framatone, so we're a huge target anyway.) They quietly abandoned the whole thing about then and formally gave it up in 2001, but there's still a clause in the contract that we'll take art from the Gallery if there's a major concern. Given the inherent problems of moving very fragile art quickly, I suspect that nobody is really interested in doing something like this.

    BTW: The Maier now focuses on American art from RMWC's collection. It's a damn good museum, especially given the size of the college.

    --
    "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"
  64. s/Allah/God/ by orasio · · Score: 1


    Please don't tell me that I'm prejudiced. You may have noticed that almost all of the truly horrible things that happen unprovoked in the world today happen because some asshole decided that it was the 'will of Allah' that such a thing should happen.


    Such a thing did happen.
    Remember when the US bombed Bagdad?

  65. Your plan has some holes. by raygundan · · Score: 1

    "Seal item in uranium block, bury somewhere in Iraq. Ain't nobody gonna steal that fucker."

    It's not like nobody has been stealing anything in Iraq, for starters. It's really peaceful and secure over there, with no looting, riots, or insurgency.

    On top of that, I think the Uranium might make it both easier to find and a more tempting target for somebody to dig up than just a buried painting. "The Scream" doesn't exactly have military value, but a block of uranium big enough to encase it might.

    The general thrust of your plan is good, though-- if you're willing to forgo ever having anyone SEE the painting, you can make it very secure. I would suggest something more along the lines of just tossing it in the fire. That method has the same effect on people's ability to see it, but guarantees nobody can steal it ever again.

  66. oh snap! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ohhhhh SNAP!