Slashdot Mirror
Gaming vs Relationships
bgalbraith writes "BBC News has posted an editorial piece called Confessions of a Game Widow, where a frustrated spouse writes about getting neglected by her partner in favor of games such as Halo 2 and Half-Life 2. Her solution to all those like her: 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Let's get together and form a clan. We can call ourselves the Game Widows.'"
We all know Slashdotters don't have girlfriends. Except mabye Rosy Palm and her five sisters. But I guess they get to enjoy the game controller workout too. Everybody wins!
You will see these new vengeful game widows appearing as griefers. They are the ones throwing pots and pans at you.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
I know a lot of MMO wives that started with this similar philosophy. Many of them became just as addicted as their husbands.
Chew: You Nexus, huh? I design your eyes.
Roy: Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes.
I suppose they could have an affair with an EA spouse...
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
Scientists discover that not only are there female gamers, but female /.ers..
Video games are boring nowadays. What's the difference between Doom1 and doom3? the graphics. They aren't improving the game play, they're improving the graphics because they can't improve the game play any longer. Video games are game candy. That's why it's only boys to early 20ish males who play these video games. Oh sure, there are a female player every now and then.
Those who are addicted to video games are usually young males who lack basic social skills and play online games to supplement their lack of social lives. It's a sad medium, like the rest of the internet. The internet is for lonely guys by lonely guys... this is a sad fact and part of our declining society.
I'm actually pretty annoyed at a lot of the comments in that article. One was about a girl who told her boyfriend that he could get a PS2, or keep her as a girlfriend. One or the other. Honestly, do we ask you girls (if any read this), to either put away your soap operas and boy bands, or leave us? No. And you shouldn't ask the same of us. Even if your significant other did agree to give up his hobby for you, if that is how your relationship works, it isn't going to last. And he will regret chosing you over his hobby, and you will regret the fact that all of his friends now know how bad of a person you are. This works the other way, too. Guys shouldn't ask girls to give up their hobbies.
This would make such an awesome episode of "Desparate Housewives". I'd be riveted to my seat.
For every annoying gentoo user, are three even more annoying anti-gentoo crybabies. Take Yosh from #Gimp for example.
As much trouble as the John Q. Slashdot-Stereotype seems to have becoming part of a relationship, it floors me how there can be people out there in relationships who let their love die because Half-Life and Halo get in the way. Anyone who prefers playing games all the damn time to actually spending time with a loving woman (or man, depending on your gender and/or orientation) doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.
http://www.bash.org/?426401
Rob
My girlfriend and I had a fun time playing through a chunk of Sam and Max together last week. I can't imagine ignoring her in favor of games... there are plenty of them out there that are fun for two people. It'd be like ignoring somebody in favor of watching movies or TV all the time...
--- Bwah?
To know "Daddy" as "the man who snarls at you when you want to play PlayStation" rather than a father figure, well, it really puts a somber image on things. If you'd rather raise your online char than raise your son/daughter, then the child might as well be missing one parent.
Just interesting to see the shoe on the other foot, when the addiction applies to the parents. Much more serious when you think about it.
I had a girlfriend that I lost over The Sims Online. She was cute, intelligent and loved games - what more could I ask for?
But it got stupid when she would rather play all weekend than see me. She was trying to keep her house online with her virtual roommates and to stay in the top 10 rankings. When they started sleeping in shifts (so at least one person in her group was online at all times over the weekend), that was the final straw.
It's difficult to care when someone puts you second to a stupid videogame.
That's what we play. We haven't played a cooperative game yet. It's always versus. She kicks my ass at mortal kombat also. I rock the racing games, she rocks the fighting games. Then our daughter wants attention and interrupts the game.
For every annoying gentoo user, are three even more annoying anti-gentoo crybabies. Take Yosh from #Gimp for example.
Video games are like any other aspect of your life: when made your primary focus, they will take the place of every other aspect of your life: drugs, alcohol, sex, dating relationships, movies (you LOTR fans know who you are), /., and anything else that consumes the majority of your time and energy. Maintaining a healthy balance (this does not mean devoting equal time to all of them) of your pursuits (seriously, no drugs) is a healthy way to go. It's all about managing your priorities.
Might it help if the gamers significant other took an active interest in what the gamer was doing? I don't mean joining. I mean taking an active role in learning why the significant other finds the games so attractive and why they are willing to devote so much time to them. That may cause the gamer to go "Hey, they're into whay I'm doing, maybe I should look into what they're doing." Just a thought.
http://www.bynarystudio.com
It sounds like you thirst a relationship more than you really understand them. Even if 'Half-Life' or 'Halo' don't get trapped by the assumption that it's the gamer's fault. Despite the fact that I made 3 times as much money as my wife, allowing her a pretty decent quality of life, she looked down on me for playing as if I was a child. We did things 'out' all the time and I spent a lot of time with her. She was too immature and it was a mistake to take a relationship so far with someone like this. I'll always care for her, but I'm glad to be out of it. If she didn't want to bother trying to understand who i REALLY was (not some little kid) in favor of her prejudices that's her problem. Video games are a perfectly valid and respectable hobby. Like anything, people can get addicted. I may have played video games as a hobby but she watched televisions ALL DAY ALL THE TIME. Talk about a ludicrous double standard.
I'd rather entertain my hobby than sit around spending time with my woman watching tv all day. And I doubt many would disagree unless they simply havn't been in a relationship =P
What on earth is she complaining about? He enjoys it. Why are you taking away something he enjoys, when he has already addressed your 'complaint'.
This woman just wants the poor bastard to be right in front of her every single moment. He's sacrificied part of his hobby, sacrifice your whining.
but I like sex much, much more. But yeah, if you don't ever offer sex, then, yeah, he'll probably choose HL2 or Halo 2 over having a "conversation", if he knows he won't get anything of benefit at the end.
Exactly. Go join the gaming fun....no need for silly "game widows" thing...but then again maybe I'm just an odd female...oh well...
"Success isn't a result of a spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." - Arnold H. Glasgow
MMORPGs and console games are hobbies that do take up time but, come on, if they're the causes of the ends of relationships (between the player and significant other or the player and the state of being employed), it's due to the players' lack of common sense and immaturity.
Its quite simple, video games are an escape from the reality (you know, the one where we have to deal with people with an ugly personalities like yours).
I expect we'll find you infront of the television, wallowing in mediocrity but feeling better about yourself by attempting to make sweeping statements of generalisation about "most" people who play games.
Video Games are not a big part of life, you're right about that but aside that you're just another bitter idiot who overanalyses the completely casual act of sitting down infront of a game for a few hours.
To those of you who actually do spend half your life playing games: Don't blame you, have fun and I hope you get a kick out of hearing imbeciles like our humble parent here try to feel better about themselves.
I'm sure the irony here is intentional...
Some time people have to go with the age old advice:
,in a last ditch effort to save myself in starcraft.
If you can't beat them join them.
My story isn't exaclty like that. But my wife grew up in a household where to this day there is an old NES sitting in the corner of the house(which I have been begging for so I can either repair it or mod it). And thats as far as gaming will get in that house. However after getting married I introduced my wife to a lovely SNES game call "Harvest Moon" this game was so simple to play and allowed her to get started. Eventually we started playing starcraft then Diablo 2. Now I am trying to get her to play City of Heros with me. For us there was two main reasons why she started playing games:
1. She loved me and wanted to spend time with me.
2. I was willing to teach her.
Since then things go great. She doesn't play games as much as I do. But we can if we whenever we want to. And I don't have to worry about her complaning about how its not fair since she doesn't know how to play.
---Althought I have never be able to live down the time I had Mind Controlled most of her battle crusiers
Boy was the couch comfortable that night!
sometimes it's not even so much the game as the passtime. i heard and older woman comment that getting together to play video games are to the younger generation what getting together for poker night was for an older generation. i'm not surprised that transcends to poker widows.
i told her she was +5 insightful, and then she just stared at me blankly.
I've known my girlfriend for about 6 years now and we have been together for a little over 1 1/2. We are both avid gamers (me a little more then her). We both enjoy playing multiplayer games with each other like Mario Kart, Wario Ware, Dead or Alive 2 and other console games, but we don't mind watching the other play Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy XI. The important thing is that it is a hobby that we share and enjoy and we treat it like one. It is not the only thing we do; we go out, watch movies, get dinner, etc. The best thing any of these "gaming widows" can do if they are in another relationship with a gamer, is just to get involved. Whether it is just being interested, watching and talking to them about it or picking up a controller and joining in.
I've played video games since I was about 4 years old and they're a major hobby of mine. I also have a girlfriend. She's into doing manual photography. She takes pictures of stuff whenever she gets the chance. You gotta learn to try new things. Sometimes she comes over to my room and we'll play some Mario Kart. Sometimes we go outside and take pictures, and we've both come to enjoy the things the other likes to do. Now after all the time we spend together, we're more than just boyfriend and girlfriend; we've become best friends. To me, I think becoming each other's best friend is the best thing that can happen in a relationship like this and is a real sign of long-term compatability.
There is other stuff on the internet besides shit like slashdot, that millions of people use. You should examine the reasons why the sites you visit are such pathetic representations of "society". Maybe... it's you? And there are plenty of people who love videogames who could care less about Doom fucking 3 and are much more interested in something like Katamari Damacy. It's the industry that makes videogames suck, it's not an inherent quality of the medium.
...but I'm here to offer another opinion. Perhaps the real issue isn't with the behavior of the gamers themselves, but with the behavior of their partner. I've been a female gamer since the days of the Atari 2600. I've been in relationships with both gamers and non-gamers. Most of the time, gaming alone is just another one of those integral activities such as reading or other hobbies that help separate you from being no more than the "couple beast". There have been times where I've either read or gamed excessively alone while seeming to ignore my partner. Most of the time, it was a passive response to being generally unhappy with the relationship. Either I wasn't getting enough attention my partner or I was getting too much, or there were other relationship difficulties to consider. For me, at least, gaming helps relieve stress. If you find your partner gaming obsessively, perhaps you should ask them what's wrong. Maybe they're escaping your boring, self-obsessed drivel. Maybe you're only doling out sex once a month and they have to take our their frustrations elsewhere. I don't see gaming itself as a relationship breaker, but when taken to extremes, it can be an indicator of something else that may need worked out. In closing, an excerpt from the article: "My boyfriend used to have a PS2 until it was stolen in a burglary. He used to play every now and then but I often ended up going to bed alone, waiting for him to stop playing. Now he intends on buying anther one for himself, solely to play GTA: San Andreas. I gave him a simple option: "Buy a new console, get yourself a new girlfriend." I think he got the point. Sophie, Paris, France" Stolen? Right! That poor soul may want to check Sophie's bank account or the local pawn shops. Ultimatums like that are definitely not the solution and I hope to god the poor fellow has a new girlfriend by now.
http://home.earthlink.net/~ii_ssnifff/caww/caww2.h tml
The Coalition of Air Warrior Widows was a group of similiar ilk. Aggrivated wives, girlfriends, mistresses, and/or concubines formed up.
This group dates back to at least 1996 or 1997. Probably even before that, given the fact that air warrior was around for eaons.
look, my bf and i are both gamers. and so are almost ALL of my friends. in fact, i can't stand people who hate games so much that they simply refuse to play them or, even worse, blame them for everything wrong with society. women (and men) who can't stand to let their mates have "alone time" need to develop lives of their own. they aren't "abandoning" you for the games, they just want to do something which they enjoy. some chicks like getting their hair done and shopping for 3 hours (yawn!) and some guys like watching espn for 3 days straight (omg, international extreme poker on dogsleds!). the rest of us like reading books and playing games. either find someone you're actually compatible with or stop bitching about it. you chose this relationship and you have the freedom to leave it at anytime, moron. btw, to the idiot who set an ultimatum for her bf (ps2 or me), wrong move. there's this word you should learn called "compromise". it's what you do in REAL relationships.
~da
My wife and I both play games. In fact we love to team play. Works out great. Seems to have replaced watching tv and we both enjoy it. Box
Gaming will win 9 of 10 times.
Sex is overrated anyway, and it is too much effort for so short pleasure. You can play a great videogame all night, but, how much time will you be able to love your partner, if you aren't in top condition/tantric love practitioneer?
Good googly, my parents (52 and 54) are Halo junkies. I thought I would be nice and get them Halo 2 the day it came out...psh...they already got it. My mother stayed up 'til 3:00 am that morning playing it.
My point to this rambling (aside from thinking my dad is one lucky mofo)? Halo is THE biggest bonding experience for my parents. They don't really eat together or do many other things together. But they like "to blow shit up" together...daily.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts...for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang
Sure the main difference between Doom 1 & 3 is graphics (And the lack of teamwork-mode in Doom 3, as well as originality). That's why almost every review of doom 3 basically goes 'great graphics, bad gameplay. nothing to see here, move along, move along.
Compare HL1 with HL2 tho. Huge difference. Proof that games can get better with age.
I got addicted to games because they are better than real life. I have social skills (Although arguably less than most since i am a self-proclaimed hermit). I just chose not to use them, as I chose not to before the internet when I read books and comics. Anyone else here rememb er 'before the internet'?
And your complaints about lonely guys and our declining society only begs me to ask... Are you saying this because your a lonely guy whos just trying to confess? Because I know ALOT of gamers that have lives outside of gaming.
Games are worthwhile investments of leisure time despite what people might say. Over the years I've had more people backstab me, betray me, dump me and be so fucking unreliable in general, having an outlet to get away from the daily grind and the crappy low quality of people on this planet is a godsend. Video games might eat into relationship time but if you're SO is not that into you then why should you spend time away from your hobbies? I mean come on, I bet half these "Gaming widows" complaining don't do anything to pull their SO's away from their games (i.e. sex, schedule a weekend away, etc).
Too much blame is often saddled with guys but usually the guy who gets dumped never knows what was wrong because the girl keeps that shit to herself in the firstplace. They are vocal on the internet but many just act irrationally and expect their SO to read their mind.
IMHO the quality of people I have met in modern life have declined significantly, I think the rise of video games and entertainment speaks about the decline of the quality of life and the quality of people in SOCIAL settings in general.
All my gamer friends while somewhat nerdy and perhaps not as socially graceful can be all around better people to hang out with then people who aren't into games and use you for superficial BS like competing for social status and money.
I dont value human relationships because I dont value all the BS and social games people play, many just can't face reality and be true to themselves, they are so wound up in social BS it's hard to see anything of value.
My wife and I don't plan on having kids, and getting married was the best thing we ever did for our relationship.
{nods} I can definitely see that. For all my Judeo-Christian bias about marriage being about offspring, I'm also big on pointing out the benefits of knowing that this one person will stay with you forever and ever, that they will be there to love you and to support you. Besides which, it's been proven that married people have better sex.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.