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Whippersnappers Bad-Mouth Old Games

1up.com has posted the second in an article series called "Child's Play", where they invite youngsters to experience the joys of classic gaming to hilarious effect. From the (sob) article: "Bobby: After you beat the Death Star level, there should be a snow level, then a small speeder bike level. They should make a Matrix game in the theme of Star Wars. So then you take out your sword and run up to a guy and go, "Chiiing!" And after you saw through his head, you fly inside your X-wing."

108 of 699 comments (clear)

  1. Where's the Death Star level of Slashdot? by Cold+Winter+Days · · Score: 3, Funny

    This one's getting boring.

  2. Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by garcia · · Score: 4, Funny

    From the article, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried:

    Bobby: It's probably because the Nazis felt bad having a cement fighting place, so they put little trampolines under-

    Parker: Wait. What do Nazi's have to do with it?

    Bobby: Because Zangief is a Nazi.

    EGM: He's Russian. Not German.

    Garret: He's a communist.

    Bobby: Then why is Zangief's place a Nazi place?

    EGM: It's not.

    Bobby: Yes it is-it had a Nazi sign on the cement.

    Parker: It couldn't have been. They wouldn't have let that in videogames.

    Bobby: Whatever.


    This proves it... Video games DO rot the brains of young and impressionable children. They wouldn't have allowed a swastika in a video game? Pure blasphemy I say, plain and simple. We need to bring back video games that teach children some history. They should at least be able to recognize a swastika in a video game!

    If your child's video games aren't teaching them valuable lessons about World History who is?

    1. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by radd0 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      From Mike Tyson's Punch Out:

      Garret: "Mike Tyson" is bad publicity for this game.

      Parker: Nothing is bad publicity.

      Garret: Maybe Mr. T is Nintendo's marketing director. Mike Tyson was all like, "I'm gonna eat your dogs; I'm gonna eat your kids...."

      You're right. There's no way I could make up shit that good either, but no doubt the editors at Ziff Davis can. :)

    2. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by Rahga · · Score: 4, Informative

      Actually, the kid saw the hammer & sickle and thought "Nazi sign", confusing it with a swastika.

      And, for what it's worth, Nintendo didn't allow Wolfenstein's swastikas in the port to the SNES... I'd say Parker's at least half right. :)

    3. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by jellomizer · · Score: 3, Informative

      Well unfortunatly Mike Tyson's Punch Out has a problem that other games don't it is the fact kids never grew up thinking that Mike Tyson was a hero charactor. At the time of the Game Mike Tyson was the Champ, Unbeatible, Proof that a kid from the Gheto could do something with his life. Then after going to jail and loosing fights he has been push to has been, ex Punk Kid who had his 15 minutes of fame and wasted it, and is now the Gheto Kid who wasted his life, after having the chance of a life time.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    4. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by snorklewacker · · Score: 3, Funny

      C'mon, nothing compares to the cracks about Adventure:


      Bobby: A duck ate me.

      EGM: A what ate you?

      Parker: A pink duck.

      EGM: What do you think this character's name is?

      Parker: Dot. Or Adventure? That's what this game is, isn't it? Go up, go up, go up.

      Bobby: Stupid duck. I hate the duck. The duck is evil.

      Parker: Go left, go left. Grab the arrow. That's the only way you can kill the duck. You have to run that into the duck.

      Garret: It's a spear or something.

      Bobby: [Enters castle] I'm just going to store all my keys and useless stuff in here. I'm going to store my duck in there.

      EGM: Do you identify with this dot?

      Garret: No. The dot is small. I am not.

      Bobby: Yeah. My best friend, he looks just like this dot: small, handsome, and adventurous.

      EGM: How long would you put up with this game?

      Garret: Five more minutes.

      --
      I am no longer wasting my time with slashdot
    5. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by Dachannien · · Score: 2

      I was a bit more disturbed by "I've played this on my cell phone" coming from a 10-year-old.

    6. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by EnronHaliburton2004 · · Score: 3, Funny

      7 year olds don't need to learn about camping with a sniper rifle, fraging people with crowbars, or chopping off heads

      Someone should create a FPS where you run around shooting the other kids with rubber bands, riding down the slide head first without getting caught by the teacher, jumping onto the swings without waiting in line and avoiding having your lunch money stolen by the school bully.

      If mom catches you and makes you blow your nose, you loose. Mom spit -- the Universal Solvent.

    7. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by nocomment · · Score: 2

      at least they actually liked Zelda. :-)

      --
      /* oops I accidentally made a comment, sorry */
      /* http://allyourbasearebelongto.us */
    8. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by Dr.+Spork · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I'm sorry, but I read the whole thing and I thought that overall, those 11-year-olds had more articulate observations to make than most of the stuff posted on Slashdot, including the parent post.

    9. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by ahdeoz · · Score: 2, Insightful

      In Capitalist Theory, we all get to be John Rockefeller. In Communist Theory we all get to be union laborers. In Capitalist Practice, some of us get to be John Rockefellers; some of us get to be union laborers; and some of us end up on welfare with cable TV and $100 sneakers. In Communist Practice, one person gets to be Stalin, and the rest of us (who survive) get to be starving peasants.

    10. Re:Perhaps they should have played Wolf3D! by mekkab · · Score: 3, Funny

      those 11-year-olds had more articulate observations to make than most of the stuff posted on Slashdot,

      WTF?! STFU!!11 OMG I'm totally asuper geneuous compared to a moran like you!!!!11111one!

      --
      In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
  3. what about the best clasic game ever... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I didn't see any mention of Nethack. Nethack rocks! But I'd bet most "Whippersnappers" would hate it.

    1. Re:what about the best clasic game ever... by buffer-overflowed · · Score: 5, Funny

      The earliest game i really enjoyed was wolf3d, and still play it every one and a whild, but I dont want to spend money on an old consile (atari)

      Uhhh.... My head asplode.

      --
      The key to the enjoyment of pop music is to replace any instance of "love" with "C.H.U.D."
    2. Re:what about the best clasic game ever... by bladesjester · · Score: 3, Funny

      Just wait until you hear "The earliest game I really enjoyed was [Halo2|Doom3]"

      I'm only 24 and the wolf3d statement made me feel a bit old heh

      --
      Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
    3. Re:what about the best clasic game ever... by temojen · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You haven't lived until you've saved the world from thermonuclear destruction in Missile Command.

    4. Re:what about the best clasic game ever... by ObiWanKenblowme · · Score: 2, Funny

      Bah! Those all had graphics. Sit them down in front of a Commodore 64 with a copy of Zork on a 5.25" floppy. Nine times out of ten, you'd go into a dark room and get eaten by a grue, but that 10th time when you figure out how to get one step farther before going into a dark room and getting eaten by a grue? That really made those hours and hours all worth it!

      --
      Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
    5. Re:what about the best clasic game ever... by blincoln · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You haven't lived until you've saved the world from thermonuclear destruction in Missile Command.

      You can't save the world in the original Missile Command. That's why James Cameron had John Connor playing it in Terminator 2.

      It's a lesson for humans that machines always win in the end, like most classic arcade games.

      --
      "...always new atoms but always doing the same dance, remembering what the dance was yesterday." -Richard Feynman
    6. Re:what about the best clasic game ever... by Sj0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Text games are the bane of all articulate, imaginative humans.

      There is an enemy in front of you.
      >KICK HIM IN THE CROTCH.
      I'm sorry, I don't know how to CROTCH.
      >ATTACK HIM WITH YOUR SWORD
      I'm sorry, I don't know how to ATTACK.
      >TRY TO REASON WITH HIM
      I'm sorry, I don't know how to TRY.
      >ATTACH THE SWORD TO THE CHANDALEIR HANGING FROM THE CEILING AND SWING IT AT HIM
      I'm sorry, that's a good idea.
      >USE INVENTORY TO CREATE A COMPLICATED ASSAULT WEAPON
      The clouds are pretty outside.
      >USE SWORD ON ENEMY
      You use the sword. He dies.
      >FUCKER.
      Don't swear.

      --
      It's been a long time.
  4. Like the first one... by GeorgeMcBay · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Like the first one, this one seems made-up. A lot of the quotes, while funny, seem too canned (and too backhandedly insightful in some cases) to have really been made by young children.

    1. Re:Like the first one... by Cylix · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Precisely what I was thinking and about to post on.

      The kids made a reference to Gleaming The Cube and a billion other reference.

      I've seen 11 year olds... they are not that bright.

      They make reference that are just too damned mature.

      Too bad I'm at work and I don't have time to pick through every statement that just doesn't fit.

      --
      "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
    2. Re:Like the first one... by Harbinjer · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, I was really wondering if 11 year olds have gotten so much more mature than they used to be.

    3. Re:Like the first one... by magnwa · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I referee soccer. I deal with 11 year olds and younger and older all the time. Don't doubt them. They're a lot smarter than they ever let on. I've had discussions in game with a few of them and they brought up soccer stars of old, plays that are legendary but fifty years old, and history of games and rules that a lot of advanced referees in my area don't know.

      11 year olds can be EXTREMELY intelligent, so long as they've not been told to shut up all their life.

    4. Re:Like the first one... by VE3ECM · · Score: 2, Interesting
      There are way too many references to pop culture things that kids probably don't know about (or care about)....

      The oldest kid on here is 11 or 12... and they're making Mike Tyson rape / ear biting jokes? Those happened quite a long time ago.

      Not to mention the one kid knew everything about Blanka's bio... very unlikely, especially when he said Blanka was his brother's favourite character of all time.

      Then there's the Adventure crack about ducks. Clearly ripped from Homestar Runner.

      I call Shenanigans.

    5. Re:Like the first one... by Jerf · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If you mine enough random sentances, you can get some truly profound stuff. Every geek should spend at least a couple of hours with some source text and a markov chain generator.

      But it isn't the random generator that is profound, it is the person doing the selection.

      Similarly, while the majority of what the kids say may be worthless, a selection process can make the raw material look more intelligent than it is. You are probably reading more into the sentances than the kids actually meant, because you're only getting the sentances that you can read more into.

      Not saying it isn't fake, but it doesn't have to be.

    6. Re:Like the first one... by ack154 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      What about the 10 yr old who said he "played this" on his cell phone... (referring to Defender)?

      Why does a 10 yr old have a cell phone? That's the part I'm stuck on.

    7. Re:Like the first one... by Naikrovek · · Score: 4, Insightful

      not all 11 year olds are unintelligent. in fact, they're surprisingly intelligent when you spend a bit of time with them.

      i wasn't stupid when i was 11, i was fixing TVs and my friends' game consoles.

      don't be so quick to demean children. they're not stupid.

    8. Re:Like the first one... by Joe+Tie. · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The one which really got me was "Mike Tyson does not have a handlebar mustache". I don't think most people old enough to grow one know the proper definition of a handlebar mustache, let alone a 13 year old.

      --
      Everything will be taken away from you.
    9. Re:Like the first one... by osu-neko · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Then there's the Adventure crack about ducks. Clearly ripped from Homestar Runner. Err, how young are you? Cracks about the "ducks" in Adventure predate Homestar Runner by a couple of decades...

      --
      "Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
    10. Re:Like the first one... by I8TheWorm · · Score: 4, Informative

      Not to shoot holes in anyone's theory, but not only have I seen an 11 year old, I own one (and an 8, a 9, and a 14 year old). My 11 year old remembers the Mike Tyson ear bite (I just asked him, but am not about to ask him about the rape trials). My 9 year old knows nothing about it... not even who Mike Tyson is.

      By 11, kids can be pretty insightful, and their logic skills (and sarcasm skills) are fairly developed. He's finally at an age where I can have real conversations with him, rather than lead him in conversations as in the past.

      --
      Saying Android is a family of phones is akin to saying Linux is a family of PCs.
    11. Re:Like the first one... by eln · · Score: 5, Insightful

      And the generation before you was saying your generation was worthless because you didn't know how to code in Assembly, and didn't know how to punch a card, and had never worked on an IBM mainframe.

      Technology changes, and skill sets change with it. Cultures change, and people change with it. Every generation thinks the next generation is worthless and will be the downfall of civilization. You know you have become an adult when you start bitching about how retarded the next generation is.

    12. Re:Like the first one... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well that explains you
      No 10 year old needs a cell phone.
      If he's 10, his parent's should be there, not a cell phone.

    13. Re:Like the first one... by buffer-overflowed · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Greatest Generation: Damned kids and your fancy punch cards! We had to hand-write our machine specific instructions on a drum with kitchen magnets, and we liked it! Now get off my lawn!

      Baby Boomers: Damned kids and your keyboards! We had to punch holes in cards for machine specific instructions and do everything on mainframes, and we liked it! Now get off my lawn!

      50s/60s: Damned kids and your object oriented programming and your Virtual Machines! In my day we used assembly and, later, C, on mainframes and we liked it! Now get off my lawn!

      70s/80s/90s: Damned kids with your do what I mean to function. Back in my day we actually had to use logic instead of having the machine be psychic, and we liked it! Now get off my lawn!

      --
      The key to the enjoyment of pop music is to replace any instance of "love" with "C.H.U.D."
    14. Re:Like the first one... by PurpleAlien · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Here in Finland, kids younger than that have cellphones. Nothing special.

      --
      My blog, if you're interested: http://www.purp
    15. Re:Like the first one... by snorklewacker · · Score: 3, Insightful

      They uh also sound a lot more intelligent cuz like they uh edited down the filler kinda stuff that kids like to use yunno. And adults too kinda. I'm sorta like exaggerating for effect and stuff but you get the idea right? Same words and all that but when the editors want to get all concise and shit to save column space, then the stuff they edit out sounds like a lot more intelligent.

      --
      I am no longer wasting my time with slashdot
    16. Re:Like the first one... by Surt · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Sadly, reality does not make that possible for many parents. A large number of families use two incomes just to keep food on the table and the roof rented. Having a cheap cell phone for emergencies is a lot cheaper than the cost of constant monitoring.

      --
      "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
    17. Re:Like the first one... by kisrael · · Score: 4, Insightful

      11 year olds can be EXTREMELY intelligent, so long as they've not been told to shut up all their life.

      S'true. Also, while I can't vouch for *every* line, many of them had the feel of "precocious 11 yr old trying to say something funny to make it into the magazine", like this gem from last year:

      "Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops."

      Kids can have this amazing depth of arcane knowledge, like a ton of 8 year olds who get interested in dinosaurs and suddenly can spout off as experts in paleontology. Basically, young kids are learning machines, and when they mix it with a little focus, their depth of factoids is profound.

      --
      SO YOU'RE GOING TO DIE: The Comic for Dealing with Death
    18. Re:Like the first one... by Macrobat · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Not meaning to sound arrogant or anything, but I've always bitched about how retarded *my* generation was. The Love Boat, Dallas and Dynasty were the big TV shows back then, and I thought everyone was a nimrod for watching them. When Miami Vice came on I couldn't believe people thought it was actually cool to stay IN on a Friday night and watch TV.

      And people older than I was couldn't make change in their heads; everyone seems to need a calculator or a cash register nowadays to figure that out.

      To this day, people my age or older will say "Where the hell did you learn that?" if I drop a fact that we were all taught in 4th frickin' grade, like who wrote the Declaration of Independence or the order of the planets.

      So yeah, I see today's generation and say they're retarded. But every generation is, just in it's own special way.

      Besides, I still think it's good idea for people to learn assembly.

      --
      "Hardly used" will not fetch you a better price for your brain.
    19. Re:Like the first one... by LWATCDR · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yes and no. I worry not about the next generations behavior as much as this ones. Way too many people use DVDs as babysitters. Worse than in my day when they tried to use TV. Back then at least some of the time there was NOTHING on to watch. To many digital toys not enough blocks. I guess you do not have to spend a lot of time picking up disks vs picking up toys but I do worry that the kids today are getting cheated out of doing things that I did as a kid. Like building a tree house, building model rockets and airplanes, going to the park or the beach.

      --
      See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
    20. Re:Like the first one... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      I think you mean, "a large number of families use two incomes to keep the digital cable, high-speed internet, new SUV and its associated gasoline costs and designer clothes paid off while still being able to keep food on the table and the roof rented." Maybe these spendy people shouldn't be having kids until they can afford to take care of them (where taking care of them != buying them everything they want while staying at work all day). There is no excuse in a first-world country for people having kids and not being able to parent them properly these days. It certainly doesn't stop people, though. An interesting example was the couple where the mother had fertility treatments and ended up with a huge number of babies. Then they had the nerve to ask for donations to be able to even support them financially. Thanks for degrading our society, morons.

    21. Re:Like the first one... by jpmahala · · Score: 5, Funny

      i wasn't stupid when i was 11, i was fixing TVs and my friends' game consoles.

      But you still haven't been able to find the shift key on your keyboard?

    22. Re:Like the first one... by miu · · Score: 4, Insightful
      don't be so quick to demean children. they're not stupid.

      Those of use who dislike children don't care how intelligent they are, we just think the little monsters are obnoxious.

      --

      [Set Cain on fire and steal his lute.]
    23. Re:Like the first one... by freeze128 · · Score: 4, Funny
      You know you have become an adult when you start bitching about how retarded the next generation is.
      Dude, you better not be dissing Star Trek....
    24. Re:Like the first one... by prockcore · · Score: 4, Funny

      But you still haven't been able to find the shift key on your keyboard?

      i don't know about him, but i drive an automatic keyboard.. i don't need to shift.

  5. omfg by Tony+Hoyle · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Because people were stupid and like addictive games..

    If it's stupid to like a game that is addictive, what is it to like a game that isn't addictive at all, but still shell out real money to play it?

  6. This kids are HIL-arious! by lawpoop · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Take this dialogue from the review of the Star Wars arcade game:

    EGM: What do those lasers look like?

    Anthony: Stars.

    Garret: Fireworks.

    Bobby: Fireballs.

    Parker: Psychedelic snowflakes.

    Dillon: It's snowing up.

    Rachel: This looks like a game out of Willy Wonka or something.

    Bobby: It's like, "I'm Willy Wonka. I've created a new Star Wars."

    Someone give these kids a contact!

    --
    Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
    -- Pablo Picasso
  7. Wel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful
    EGM: Before this came out in compilations, we used to put quarters in arcade machines.

    Parker: You wasted quarters on this?

    EGM: Yeah.

    Parker: That's so sad.

    He does have a point...

    Anyway, it's interesting to read these kids' descriptions of old games. Of course, these games are way retro; these came out before I really got into gaming, so I don't attach quite the level of nostalgia to it as others do. Now if they played doom or wolf3d and said that was crap, then I'd be like "wtf"

    Anyway, it's natural if you think about it. Kids today are exposed to graphical feasts with games like Halo 2, going back to the old games when you didn't have the type of computational power to pump out those textures and polygons, is like starving.

    But still, games were better back then, when they concentrated more on the gameplay and/or story before the prettiness of the graphics.

    1. Re:Wel by eln · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Wolf3d is a great game because it was revolutionary. However, if you play a modern game like, say, Half Life 2, and then try and go back and play Wolfenstein 3D, you will probably quickly become bored.

      Yes, Wolf3d and Doom created a genre, but modern FPS games are far, far better than they are in terms of graphics AND gameplay. The intensity level is way up, and the games are far more exciting to play.

      I would never badmouth these classic games based on what they meant to the gaming industry, and hoe they pushed the technology forward, but if you want me to play one of these really old classics and one of the new modern games, and get me to choose which one I'd rather play right now, I'm going to go for the modern game almost every time.

    2. Re:Wel by wheany · · Score: 2, Funny

      No no no no, the official opinion is that modern games are pretty but have crappy gameplay. Fall back in line!

    3. Re:Wel by SeaFox · · Score: 2, Interesting

      EGM: Before this came out in compilations, we used to put quarters in arcade machines.
      Parker: You wasted quarters on this?
      EGM: Yeah.
      Parker: That's so sad.
      He does have a point...


      I dunno. There's something about an arcade game that makes it easier to plunk quarters into than a "normal" modern video game. I guess It's that the overall game doesn't have a plot to follow through on. I wouldn't start playing Doom in an arcade because I would just be like "well I wont get very far since the game's so long".

      Last night I was at the laundromat, washing some rugs my own washer can't handle, and there was a Galaga machine. I have Namco Museum for my Gameboy Advance (it was at home) but still, even though I could have played Galaga for free at home I must have put $2.00 in quarters into that machine while I was there. And I put up with the fire button with the worn out spring (the ship was always firing, and when I got onto the highscore list twice my name came out as 'AAA') and the dusty screen (I couldn't clean because it was UNDER the top cover) and I still had a good time playing it.

  8. kids say the darndest things... by sailforsingapore · · Score: 5, Funny

    Those little punks need some sense beaten into them. I think it would be appropriate to administer a severe beating to each by smacking them upside the head repeatedly with an old Atari joystick, then pistol whipping them with a Nintendo light gun.

    Or, maybe I'm just over-reacting because the artical makes me feel old.

    1. Re:kids say the darndest things... by sailforsingapore · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well, I see someone has their Pull-Ups in a bunch today.

  9. Darn Whippersnappers by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Back in my day, we didn't have consoles at home. We had to walk uphill, both ways, to the video arcade. And we had to put tokens in the machines. We didn't have quarters because of the war. But the point of the story is, I had an onion on my belt.

    1. Re:Darn Whippersnappers by sstern · · Score: 2, Funny

      We were stuck in a maze of twisty little passages, or was it in a twisty maze of little passages, or maybe a little maze of twisty passages. And we liked it.

      --
      --Steve
  10. Downhill After Sierra's Classics by hexed_2050 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everything went downhill after Sierra stopped making their classic Space Quest series, King's Quest series and the such. These were games that actually look some sort of cognitive abilities and sometimes puzzles could stump you for days depending on how you viewed a certain situation. These days, it's all about point and click and there is no more typing "look east", "east", "throw midget east".

    Seriously.. I think I remember having to throw a midget once, but for the life of me I can't remember which game it was in.

    --
    Valkyrie is about to die! Wizard needs food -- badly!
    1. Re:Downhill After Sierra's Classics by Average_Joe_Sixpack · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Seriously.. I think I remember having to throw a midget once, but for the life of me I can't remember which game it was in.

      I think that might be Peasant's Quest

    2. Re:Downhill After Sierra's Classics by servognome · · Score: 2, Funny

      These days, it's all about point and click and there is no more typing "look east", "east", "throw midget east".
      Bah you don't even have to point and click anymore, its all automated now

      --
      D6 63 0D 70 89 81 BB 8E 7B 7C 5F 5D 54 EA AB 73
    3. Re:Downhill After Sierra's Classics by brer_rabbit · · Score: 4, Funny

      And don't forget Leisure Suit Larry, which is where most Slashdoters believe they lost their virginity.

  11. In my day, we didn't even have pong by scotay · · Score: 5, Funny

    We had to tie a flashlight to a string and hit it with badminton rackets. Kids today don't know how easy they have it and are way too spoiled. Thankfully, social security will be broke buy the time they retire and they will have to sell their organs just to buy catfood. I'll be laughing at them from the grave.

  12. Old fogies bored with new computer games by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Over Christmas I got a chance to finally check out Halo and after all the hooplah, I was like, "big deal... yet another *yawn* first person shooter... oooh, another alien-esque ripoff devoid of any creativity.." This is the standard by which the new generation's gamers consider good?

    I stopped buying console games after the N64 introduced a new wave of medocrity in gaming. With a few exceptions from Nintento direct, almost all the third-party games were crap. Aside from Wave Race 64 and a few others mostly from Nintendo, I really hadn't seen anything that was even remotely innovative in the gaming world. FPS's have been run into the ground and there's only so many permutations of this genre you can make before they all start to seem the same. There's something pathetic about first-person or reality-based games where the main enjoyment involves wandering around breaking things and torturing people. And the tiresome D&D ripoffs that give you carpal tunnel syndrome.

    I'm sure there may actually be some decent games that have been made in the last ten years, but I haven't seen anything that impressed me.

    1. Re:Old fogies bored with new computer games by Queer+Boy · · Score: 2, Insightful
      I'm sure there may actually be some decent games that have been made in the last ten years, but I haven't seen anything that impressed me

      Two words: Animal Crossing

      --
      Not since Marie-Antoinette played milkmaid has looking simple and honest been so fake and complicated.
    2. Re:Old fogies bored with new computer games by kisrael · · Score: 2, Insightful

      N64 was a great system though. Admittedly innovative titles were pretty sparse once you get out of Nintendo/RARE territory, but in that realm there was some great, new stuff going on: Mario 64 made a new genre, Mario Party reintroduced classic style gaming in the form of minigames, Smash Brothers is really a new type of "fighting game", one with 4 players, and where the layout of the board really matters (besides being the game that every middle schooler in the 80s doodled in his notebook)...RARE had Blast Corps , DMA had Space Station Silicon Valley.

      From my biased perspective, N64 was a hotbed of innovation relative to the PSX, so don't blame Nintendo.

      --
      SO YOU'RE GOING TO DIE: The Comic for Dealing with Death
  13. this article is missing... by bje2 · · Score: 3, Funny

    i feel like this article should've featured Bill Cosbby asking the questions, while plying them with Jello Pudding pops...

    --

    "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." - Homer Simpson
  14. These kids aren't all bad... by Rahga · · Score: 4, Funny

    Proof that kids can relate to the older generation:

    Dillon: And to think 20 years from now, people are going to think, "Oh, you're playing [GameCube Zelda game] Wind Waker? That's boring."

    EGM: What will you say when your kids say Wind Waker looks boring?

    Parker: Get out of my house. You're out of my will.

  15. This can't be real by Matt2k · · Score: 2, Insightful

    "Rachel: I like this game because I can do all these things that are so against what I'd ever do in reality.

    Garret: That's the whole point of videogames. "

    Do all 11 year olds talk like this? This just screams "Fake"

    1. Re:This can't be real by TrollBridge · · Score: 4, Funny

      You really have to wonder when Rachel says something like "I like this game because I can do all these things that are so against what I'd ever do in reality. Of course eventually the boundary between reality and video game will become blurred, and I will be compelled to act out my violent fantasies against my classmates. And it's all because evil corporations prey on weak, susceptible minds like mine, so they can desensitize me to violence and demand more and more violent video games."

      --
      There's a Mercedes gap too. I want one and can't afford one, but it's not government's job to do anything about it.
  16. Understanding Games. by jellomizer · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Unfortunatly most kids have no idea on how many of these games where huge in their day and the cost of computing graphics to make snail shaped bushes. Even in the newer 3d Games I keep an eye on all the faults in the graphics Funny Shading off colors visible Poligons, Odd Movement, Walking threw objects. These are the things that future kids will see in the games and say how much they suck. Look at Doom 3 all these guys look like they are made from rubber, Those textures just dont cast the right shadow when the light hits it it just gets brigher and darker, Are these guys soposed to be scary, Why don't there cloths fold they just kida move into their arm. How come after I shoot them once they dont bleed to death after some time or try to patch themsefs up.

    --
    If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  17. Old Skool by jafac · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Last year saw the rebirth of the old Atari 2600 games, with those cheap battery-powered joystick things, that have a bunch of pre-loaded classic videogames.

    I got one as a stocking-stuffer, and spent hours playing the old 2600 Adventure, Asteroids, etc. (and the newer console that had Galaxians, and Dig-Dug).

    My kids would just look at me, shake their heads, go back to their rooms and go back to playing their xBox.

    "Mom? I don't get it. Why does dad play those stupid games?"

    --

    These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
    1. Re:Old Skool by Abcd1234 · · Score: 2, Informative

      If retro gaming is your thing, you should seriously consider picking up a Sega Dreamcast on Ebay. They can be had for practically nothing, and they'll read regular ol' CD-Rs with no modding necessary! Personally, I have the entire Atari 2600 collection on a single 8cm CD along with a port of Stella. Very cool. :) 'course, I also have a large collection of NES games burned and playable with NesterDC, and another with SMS games and an SMS Plus port (which is, BTW, the most beautiful emulator I've seen for the DC... an that's just the first release! I can't imagine how 0.2 is going to improve on it.). And, of course, there's emulators for a *ton* of other 8-bit or less consoles (the 16-bit generation is sorely lacking in decent emulators, with no Genesis emulator to speak of, and no full-speed SNES emulator), along with a number of MAME ports.

  18. That's no whippersnapper... by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > They should make a Matrix game in the theme of Star Wars. So then you take out your sword and run up to a guy and go, "Chiiing!"

    ...that's Raph Koster of SOE, responsible for SWG:A Galaxy of Melee Combat.

    > And after you saw through his head, you fly inside your X-wing."

    Oh, give up up, Raph. Nobody's playing SWG:Jump to Lightspeed either.

  19. Get real by badmammajamma · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Considering what they can do with graphics and sound today, does anyone actually expect these kids to be impressed by this stuff? It's like asking someone to use a pulse dial phone and think its rad. No, it sucks.

    Don't get me wrong, I loved Galaga and all that shit but I certainly wouldn't expect kids to like it when they can play things like HL2, WoW, etc. The only thing I *might* hope the kids get out of it is an appreciation of where the current games evolved from and gaming history. That's it.

    --
    Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. -- H. L. Mencken
    1. Re:Get real by SharpFang · · Score: 2, Interesting

      There are still people who "discover" Tetris, Arcanoid, FF7, Worms...
      There are several extremely simple old games that will never get too old. True, they don't catch everyone's taste, but I guess at least some of these kids would enjoy them.
      I "discovered" Zork some 3 years ago and enjoyed it immensely. I spent some nice time on roguelikes when QuakeII was on top. I killed Sepiroth for the first time about when FFXI was released. Was I impressed? Hell, yes! And I guess most of kids who aren't complete idiots, given a little patience to get through first impressions, would be impressed.

      --
      45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
  20. 'Old-Fashioned Games!' by koganuts · · Score: 4, Funny

    Funny timing.

    Last weekend I was at the Gameworks in Las Vegas, and was playing a Ms. Pac-Man machine that was next to a few other vintage arcade machines (Robotron, Centipede, Xevious, Missile Command) that were standing alongside a wall in an alcove.

    Enter a group of kids.

    One of them says, "Hey, look! Old-fashioned games!"

    I couldn't help but utter a Homer Simpson-esque, "D'oh!" in response. :(

  21. This does not bode well for the current generation by Jailbrekr · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Back in the bronze and silver age of arcade games, we did not have the technology to create "realistic" games, so we made fun games where ones imagination was required. This level of abstraction made games fun and entertaining without the (argueably) negative societal consequences.

    Today, kids engage in auto thefts, mass murder, and first person real time role playing where they can be anyone they choose to be (be it good or evil). There is no longer any need to exercise ones imagination, as that has been replaced by stunning graphics which is slowly approaching a level of realism which will make any differentiation between the real world and the arcade world difficult.

    That is why there will always be a special place in my heart for the classics. They encouraged my sense of imagination. Todays games lack that.

    --
    Feed the need: Digitaladdiction.net
  22. Kids these days.. by jagilbertvt · · Score: 2, Funny

    Everytime my son sees a game that I'm playing that he likes, and says "Can I play this when I get older" I say "sure, but the graphics will suck" Starting him off right, I tell ya :) (he's 5).

  23. Re:Nostalgia is overrated. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Speaking as a non-whippersnapper (27 years old), I think nostalgia is going to be a real problem soon.

    'cuse me, but at 27 you are still considered by many to be a "whippersnapper" and by quite a few to barely have achieved true adulthood (now considered around 25 or so). At that, the term is "young adult". Don't confuse the legal definition of "adult" as it pertains to smoking, drinking, sex, voting, conscription, etc. I'm talking about the commnunity/society definition and recognition among "older" adults. Of course there are differences among individuals with some achieving adulthood much sooner, but sadly, others much later.

    For you to talk about "nostalgia", reminds me about one time when I was in an arcade and I heard a couple of 17-ish "men" say, "yeah dude, I remember way back when, like a year ago, that ..."

  24. Re:Star Wars Arcade!!! by byolinux · · Score: 2, Funny

    £3 is currently about $900, too ;)

  25. All the kids I know love old games by ccandreva · · Score: 2, Interesting

    If these responses aren't fake, then it may just e the kids they picked. My experience has been the exact opposite, that kids will play a good game no matter what it looks like.

    I have a collection of arcade games in my basement Asteroids, Centipede, Star Wars, Pole Position, Major Havoc, etc). http://www.westnet.com/~chris/arcade/MyBasement

    My kids (aged 2 and 4) love them. All the kids in my family, ranging up to 13 years old, won't come out of the basement at family gatherings. Pole Position seems to be popular with really little kids. Star Wars (one they specifically pan) is popular with just about everyone though.

  26. Bwahahaha! by st0rmshad0w · · Score: 4, Funny

    "EGM: Now imagine you've reached the 10th stage, and you're on your last life. Once you die and you put another quarter in, you don't just continue from there--you start all over.

    Parker: Are you serious?

    EGM: Yep. When you lose all your lives, you have to start over. You don't keep going.

    Parker: And you guys back then were OK with this?"


    Hehe, suck it punk, you with your continues and save points!

    I remember slugging my way thru those classics like Defender and Galaga.

    Imagine playing any new console game with nowhere to start but the beginning. Then we'd really see who had the skillz.

    Hehe.

  27. Re:Nostalgia is overrated. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ahh... I remember when nostalgia wasn't overrated. Now THOSE were the good ol' days....

  28. Eric and the Dread Gazebo by robyannetta · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo
    by Richard Aronson [aronson@sierratel.com]

    In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran "his game", and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games, he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.
    Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game. He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:

    ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
    ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
    ED: [pause] It's white, Eric.
    ERIC: How far away is it?
    ED: About 50 yards.
    ERIC: How big is it?
    ED: [pause] It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
    ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
    ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
    ERIC: [pause] I call out to it.
    ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
    ERIC: [pause] I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
    ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
    ERIC: I shoot it with my bow. [roll to hit] What happened?
    ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
    ERIC: [pause] Wasn't it wounded?
    ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT'S A GAZEBO!
    ERIC: [whimper] But that was a +3 arrow!
    ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
    ERIC: [long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.] I run away.
    ED: [thoroughly frustrated] It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
    ERIC: [reaching for his dice] Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

    At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn't on a grassy gnoll. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. A little vocabulary is a dangerous thing.

    The above is Copyright © 1989 by Richard Aronson. Reprinted with permission. The author grants permission to reprint as long as all copyright notices remain with the text.

    --
    - Just my $0.02, take with a grain of salt, your mileage may vary.
  29. Re:Yeah, so what by Martin+Blank · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I don't have collections of them (well, I have one Abott and Costello tape), but I did enjoy listening to them when KFWB (Los Angeles new station) would air old radio classics weeknights at 10pm. I think Philip Marlowe was my favorite, but they rotated a lot of others in like the Lone Ranger (wasn't so good, IMHO) and the Phantom, as well as the Western that starred Jimmy Stewart, and some of the great sci-fi radio shows. It was fun to occasionally realize part-way through an episode that I had read the short-story on which it was based (quite a few Asimov tales in there, as I recall).

    I still smile when hearing the words that closed out each episode of The Phantom: "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay. The Shadow knows..."

    --
    You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.
  30. Re:Yeah, so what by mrak+and+swepe · · Score: 4, Funny

    You young whippersnapper.

    I have a collection of silent radio plays.

  31. We still had vivid images by popo · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Hell I can describe *exactly* what locations in Zork I, II, III, StarCross, PlanetFall and Enchanter looked like. I remember vividly what color the sky was, what the walls looked like, paintings on the wall, weird machinery, smells, music playing, etc.

    I also played the hell out of Wolf3D the day the shareware was released. (We downloaded from BBS's in those days). But I can't say I have the same vivid memories from that game. I can't say I have any sort of emotional attachment to that world at all.

    Which makes me wonder if nostalgia will even exist for current games. *Is* there a level of emotional attachment to worlds / characters / situations in today's games? There have been very few games since then that have blown me away on a story / personal imagination level. ("The Dig" from LucasArts was totally underrated on that level).

    Looking back on it, *all* of my favorite games have one unifying factor. The graphics weren't really that important. I challenge anyone to name a greater single player RPG than Baldur's Gate II. (Ok mayble Planescape). Those graphics were pretty lame even whent the game was released.

    The way I see it, we're doing a lot of things with graphics today _because we can_. We're going through a sort of adolescent flexing of muscles in the gaming industry. There's been so much change in the technical department, that graphics have caught everyone's attention. And we all know where they're going: They're going to look like films. Not just a little bit, they're going to look *exactly* like films. And then we know where they're going to go next: They're going to go Helmet VR. And then when we're all done thumping our chests and graphically beating the pants off last month's graphical wonderkind -- we can get back to writing compelling fiction.

    Not to say that its not happening today. Half Life II is currently my happy place. But that's one title in a sea of 3D trash that no one will ever have any emotional attachment to at all.

    My two cents.

    Popo

    --
    ------ The best brain training is now totally free : )
    1. Re:We still had vivid images by HeghmoH · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Not to say that its not happening today. Half Life II is currently my happy place. But that's one title in a sea of 3D trash that no one will ever have any emotional attachment to at all.

      Every single game that you remember fondly from your youth was just "one title in a sea of... trash". You simply don't remember the trash, for obvious reasons. For every Zork or Marathon, there were a thousand worthless games that nobody can remember today.

      Looking back, I have fond memories of about as many games as there are years that I've been playing games. If you think that Half Life 2 is nostalgia-worthy, then you're good for 2004.

      --
      Mod down posts with a "Free Mac Mini/iPod" sig, they're spam!
  32. Hey Hey 16k! by aWalrus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, this is just begging to be posted:

    Hey Hey 16k

    Awesome-est animation about nostalgia games ever.

    --
    Overcaffeinated. Angry geeks.
  33. Re:This does not bode well for the current generat by Doctor+Crumb · · Score: 2, Funny

    I agree! Pong is SOOO much better when you imagine you are really playing Ping pong! the excitement!

  34. You had to use your imagination back then by AtariAmarok · · Score: 2, Funny
    "I have a collection of silent radio plays"

    Ah, that brings back memories. You really had to use your imagination to enjoy those silent radio plays of yesteryear.

    Now you've got me going. I'm waxing nostalgic about playing "Mario Bros" in the sewers with real plumbing tools.

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  35. Learning history from games by Theseus192 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    If your child's video games aren't teaching them valuable lessons about World History who is?

    Actually, I learned a lot of interesting history from some old Microprose PC games. Sid Meier's Pirates! (original version), Colonization, and Darklands were all historically accurate and taught me lots of anecdotal stuff about world history that was never mentioned in school, like for instance the first permanent European colony in the New World was not on the mainland but in Cuba if I recall (Colonization), or that medieval alchemists were not just looking for ways to turn lead into gold, they were looking to cure disease and prolong life (Darklands).

    Admittedly I am the kind of person who took an interest in this stuff and read further, but computer games did contain a lot of history that was just ignored or glossed over in school. I see no reason why even today's plot-light, graphics-heavy games can't incorporate accurate historical settings.

    --
    If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? - Will Rogers
  36. Meh. The more things change... by fluxrad · · Score: 2, Funny

    Kids these days have no respect for the older stuff. Why, I remember when my grandpa showed me this black and white TV. I remember thinking: This TV is awesome! Why on earth did I buy a 34" Sony DLP Hi-Def set when I could have a classic like this 1965 Zenith with tuner knob!

    You can keep it old-school if that's what you're into.

    --
    "It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
  37. Re:Nostalgia is overrated. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I'm 32 and was at one point a hardcore gamer (during all the 80's and through the mid 90's). During that time I've seen computers evolve from 8-bit 64KB CP/M machines with black & white text consoles, to 32-bit boxes with multiple co-processors. During that time I have seen vast improvements in video and audio, networking and so on. But you know what? Very rarely do I see a game come out now that really grabs me, that makes me go "wow". Graphics alone aren't enough. I got my network play kick with Doom and original Quake (yeah I spent thousands of hours on those games alone). Ditto with making custom levels and game mods. I've seen it all man. And to be honest there doesn't seem to be much left to see anymore that's not already been done before, redone, and re-redone to death. I guess things may change if/when real A.I. is achieved.
    It's not just video games, mind you. The same thing happens with movies, books, games. Hey tried playing 3e Dungeons & Dragons? If you ever played any of the previous editions, you already played this game. It's just packaged differently, but the core of it is the same. And in those games, what really matters isn't the rules used but the skill and imagination of the DM and players.
    As for nostalgia, well that serves a purpose. It's a reliving of the wonderful moments of your life, which can help give meaning to it. I treasure those old days and the friends who experienced them with me.
    BTW, I'm disapointed they didn't make those kids play Rogue. ;)

  38. Re:Nostalgia is overrated. by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Excuse me... this is coming from an old fart (35 years old) who had worked in the video game industry...

    Do you realize that Hollywood remakes a movie every 20 years (e.g., Logan's Run, Superman, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and even the re-edited Star Wars movies)? Did you know that the video game industry considers itself the next Hollywood?

    Guess what? All the old video games are going to be re-released, remaded into new versions, or recycled into other video games. If you look into any other creative field (i.e., literature), the same re-release/remade/recycle pattern is visible everywhere.

    As for looking forward to the future, the French would say: "The more things change, the more things stay the same."

  39. "Insightful"? Bad mod. BAD! by Atario · · Score: 4, Insightful
    I'd like to see any of you sit through a silent film from the 20s
    I don't "sit through" them -- I watch them. (You might get a bit more enjoyment if you tried it that way too.)
    I know about 100 of you will respond
    Step one in controlling Slashdotters: predict that they'll do what you don't want them to do.
    and claim that you love silent films
    We don't love them because they're silent. We love them because they're good. (And, no, not all of them are.)
    and have the worlds greatest collection of radio plays
    Actually, I wouldn't even know where to get those. But I bet a lot of them are great.
    I say to you that you're full of shit.
    If by "shit", you mean "appreciation for quality", then sure. (And it sounds like that might in fact be the general case with you.)

    A word to the wise: technology does not great art make.

    Unless you're telling me that Charlie Chaplin's "The Circus", being silent and in black and white, is therefore not as good as Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Jingle All The Way", which was of course in glorious multichannel digital sound and full color, then try to think before posting the brilliant argument that "old stuff sucks".

    If, on the other hand, that is what you're saying, then...well...go on down to Wal*Mart. I hear they have loads of inexpensive DVDs with high-quality movies on them (which is to say, they have clear sound and color).
    --
    "A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
  40. That isn't the Nazi symbol by jasonmicron · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The Swastika is rotated 45 degrees from what you see in Wolf3D. So technically the child is right.

    Perhaps it is you that needs a history lesson?

  41. Funny article, but I notices one interesting thing by bebing · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think they were interviewed by Eliza: Garret: That's not Tyson. Are you kidding me? Mike Tyson does not have a handlebar mustache, and he's not white. EGM: So those are the two things that make you think that's not Tyson? Bobby: A duck ate me. EGM: A what ate you? Parker: Did this game do really well? EGM: Would it surprise you if it did?

  42. Re:First Child's play article. by thing_from_space · · Score: 3, Informative

    Sorry. That link went to the second page. Here's the real link
    http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_zdegm/is _200310/ai_ziff109674

  43. Just history repeating itself by WebCowboy · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I stopped buying console games after the N64 introduced a new wave of medocrity in gaming. With a few exceptions from Nintento direct, almost all the third-party games were crap.

    You sound almost like you time-warped in from about 20 years ago, or you took a quote from the era and replaced "Atari" and "2600" or "5200" and replaced them with "Nintendo" and "N64". Anyone else remember that era?

    I remember getting my Atari at the height of the craze (1982 or so?) and there were some awesome games (Yar's Revenge, Missile Command, Circus Atari, almost everything from Activision--amazes me what those wizards could do with 4k of address space and only enough RAM to hold your scores, lives and *ONE SCANLINE* of screen data). I also remember the side-effect of the craze--by Christmas 1982 it was already happening. Everyone was caching in on the craze. I clearly remember ads in Archie comics touting crappy games featuring that walking Koolaid pitcher, Bubblicious gum and Quaker Oats (WTF!? yes I'm serious).

    Each and every one of these junk games was some kind of poorly executed variation on the adventure /combat/pacman/shooter themes. A couple years of that made people take a serious look at the cheap home computers that were flooding out and the bottom fell out of the console market--All the main console makers (Atari, Coleco, Mattel) even lost focus and interest and turned towards making computers or console-to-computer expanders. The thought was that if that is all games had to offer that the programmability and more "serious" apps gave PCs more educational and productivity appeal.

    Consoles didn't die though--a couple years later the NES took the world by storm. Technically it was only a modest step upward from what Atari and Coleco had offered to that point (still had a CPU based on 1970s tech) but it had excellent marketing and ORIGINAL GAMES--at least for awhile (side-scrolling platforms were nearly nonexistent on home systems to that point, much less ones as well executed as Super Mario).

    Things are a BIT different now, since todays console owners tend to already have PCs (so computers aren't likely to steal marketshare from consoles). The crucial thing is that we're at a peak now creatively and the economic curve is following (game sales were brisk this record-setting year). There will be a saturation point where more people will be like you and say "I'm tired of the n-teenth sequel that is the same game except for more detailed graphics". That'll probably give the industry the kick-in-the-butt it needs.

    At any rate did anyone else notice a new phenomenon this year? It seems to be the start of a retro-craze: Atari has re-released the 7800 with the best of the 2600 and 7800 games built right in, and there was a big pile of "system-in-a-controller" units out there (from legitimate retro systems to 100-in-1 bootleg NES to the Spongebob Joystick with original games). It's bigger than just Jeri's "64 in a stick" toy for nostalgic geeks too--those bootleg units at the mall kiosks got a lot of attention from teens who weren't even born when the NES came out. I see that as an early indicator that the "same old new thing" is losing its appeal.

  44. Re:Nostalgia is overrated. by ObiWanKenblowme · · Score: 2, Funny

    As for looking forward to the future, the French would say: "The more things change, the more things stay the same."

    Except they'd probably say it in French.

    --
    Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
  45. The kids have it about right by iabervon · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Most of those games weren't that great 15 years ago, too. Zelda was good, and they liked it. SF2 was good, and they liked it about as much as any fighting game. Defender's got too many buttons, 720's too hard to control, Galaga's just like a bunch of similar games, etc.

    I was expecting them to dismiss the old games based on the dated graphics, but they seem to have actually given each game a fair shot and enjoyed the games or found them annoying just like we did back then.

  46. They aren't so bad... by Arthur+Yossarian · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Really, these kids aren't bad. They may put down the old games, but at least they are witty about it. The real brats are the ones who would just call the classics "gay" and want nothing to do with them. These kids at least have taste (they like Wind Waker, that's a good sign). I've met punks older than these kids who didn't know what Half-Life was, who never played Mario, Zelda, or Mega Man but still insisted that Halo is the best game ever made and everything else is "for fags".

    --
    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Ford Prefect
  47. Re:Too bad you don't know what you're talking abou by msmercenary · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Literacy... So *that's* it. I knew there had to be a reason that thousands of people per year keep trying to boat, swim, and even drive the 70 miles to the U.S.

  48. LOL Bobby! by Icephreak1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Regarding Mike Tyson's Punchout..

    Garret: "Mike Tyson" is bad publicity for this game.

    Parker: Nothing is bad publicity.

    Garret: Maybe Mr. T is Nintendo's marketing director. Mike Tyson was all like, "I'm gonna eat your dogs, I'm gonna eat your kids."

    Rachel: I'm not really one who likes eating people.

    Bobby: I'm gonna eat your momma.

    Bobby o'er yonder, all ten years of him, is quite a way ahead of his time.

    - IP

  49. I've said it before and I'll say it again.. by duncangough · · Score: 3, Interesting

    ..if you're a Flash developer these sorts of games are far from over. Same goes if you're a mobile game developer. You just have to look at the Shareware game market to see that innovation in classic games is still strong. Sure, it's the same basic idea but these you do get the 'superbombs' included.

    These kids aren't trashing my gaming history - they've given me a stack of new ideas for the kind of games that I can write the bare bones of in a week :)

    Playaholics: Free online games: Driving Mad
  50. Older teenagers might be more appreciative. by Pentomino · · Score: 3, Insightful

    All is not lost. I've had some experience with college freshmen and high schoolers, though probably geekier than the median. Many of them are very curious and appreciative of games from before their time. I was at a party a few months ago, and someone had received a NES for their birthday, and all the teenagers piled into the living room to see it in action.

    Unfortunately, much of it might be retro-novelty, since they spent a good half hour playing some tedious walking shoot-em-up before they switched to anything good.

    The NES seems to represent the dividing line between primitive games and modern games. This is the point where games started to acquire modern features such as continues, save states, fractional health instead of simply dying after each hit. It's where home games started to take on the high-resolution multicolored look of arcade games, not to mention larger worlds and wider varieties of challenges. What's more, many of these games are the prequels to current franchises, like Metroid, Sonic, and Final Fantasy. That may be why NES games are such popular Easter eggs for modern Nintendo games.

  51. "Faux" editing? by DeathPenguin · · Score: 2, Insightful

    From page 4:
    "Garret: GTA III has all the faux cars based on real ones."

    When was the last time you heard a 13-year old use the word "faux?" Just thought that was interesting. The dialogue looked pretty good but I thought this stood out a bit.

  52. We should give 'em other games. by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Like FF6 I admit it, it's not as old as "adventure", but it had good graphics and an awesome story.

    OK my choice would be:

    a) Project Firestart for the C64 (survival horror)
    b) Aliens for the C64 (muahahahahah)
    c) Summer games series for the C64
    d) Eye of the Beholder I and II for the IBM PC
    e) Prince of Persia for the IBM PC

    You know, I miss the versatility that videogames had in the past. I'm considered blessed if I can find a copy of "Zone of the Enders" for the PS2 in my hometown.

  53. Video game violence by Rhone · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I think my favorite part was when they were talking about the original Grand Theft Auto:

    Rachel: I really like this game, because I can do all these things that are so against what I'd ever do in reality...

    Garret: That's the whole point of videogames.

    EGM: Do you this game is a bad influence on people?

    Anthony: No, because only some people actually believe you should do this stuff in real life.

    Those kids seem to have an understanding of the difference between fantasy and real life that a lot of censorship-loving adults have trouble grasping.

  54. Re:One more time, just for fun by Ryosen · · Score: 2, Funny

    "sic" is an editorial note indicating that a misspelling or grammatical error was made intentionally. Invariably, it is within a quoted phrase.

    For example:

    Wjat [sic] in the nine layers of hell does "sic" mean?

    --

    Ryosen
    One man's "Troll, +1" is another man's "Insightful, +1".