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Cutting Off an Over-Demanding End-User?

SpaceNeeded asks: "Numbers of you will probably recognize the start of the situation. Because I work with systems, I perform occasional builds. This occasionally crosses over to support (especially where it's my kit I'm asked to support). This isn't a problem, nor is it a problem when I get the occasional support query from someone I haven't supplied a system to, but who needs assistance. This is all well and good, but I've had pretty poor year personally. I've lost two relatives and a third is in a pretty bad way in hospital. An eleven year relationship ended a couple of months back, and I'm now having to perform _all_ the domestic tasks that used to be shared. Between these few things and my regular job I'm finding I have a whole lot less time to allow to support calls. What methods do you know of for gently cutting off someone, support-wise?" "I have a regular end-user who is the one that we all dread. They have little interest in PC systems for itself, and regularly call up with problems, usually related to Windows spy-ware/Trojans/Viruses. I haven't supplied the systems, which comprises of two Dells and a Tosh laptop. Although I quite like them personally, I really don't need the hassle of their regular calls at the moment.

Before the regular cries of 'Supply Ubuntu' get too loud - that will _not_ work. They aren't up to Windows after a couple of years, and will expect interoperability with Windows systems (through college/employer) and don't have the technical skills to manage a *nix system."

90 of 466 comments (clear)

  1. charge 'em by blackcoot · · Score: 4, Insightful

    give 'em some reasonable number of requests, and after that charge them $55-65 per incident (which should nicely cover the cost of having cleaners deal with at least some of the domestic stuff for you).

    1. Re:charge 'em by Skater · · Score: 2, Informative

      Yeah. He should just tell them, "Look, I'm no longer going to be able to provide support for your systems for free." Then stick to it. If they demand to know why, it's really his business, not theirs, but since he told all of Slashdot, I'm assuming he won't mind giving the reasons to the "customer". Most reasonable people would understand and would be grateful for the support they've gotten so far.

    2. Re:charge 'em by Henry+V+.009 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Didn't you read the original question? He just ended a long-term relationship. What this man needs isn't money, it's sex. He should demand a night with a nubile female relative in exchange for continued support. And he should do it as brazenly and obnoxiously as possible. Either he gets the sex or he offends the other partly so badly that he never hears from him again. Whichever way it goes, the submitter's real problem is solved: he's learned not to be such a doormat for once.

    3. Re:charge 'em by QuantumG · · Score: 5, Informative

      Back when I used to do contract programming I'd charge something like $80 an hour to do change requests. No half hours, minimum three hours. With rates like that you'd expect my clients to wait until they had a bunch of change requests that needed to be done and give me a list right? No. I'd go out to the site, listen to them explain what they wanted, implement it in 5 minutes and say "anything else?" They'd shrug and say no. I'd offer to hang around for the remaining 2 hours and 50 minutes that I'm going to charge them and after 30 minutes they'd say "ok, that looks like it's working, we'll call you if we need anything else". At first I figured it was just that one client. Then I got another one that was just as bad. So I upped my rates and it just kept on happening. This was in my younger years and I felt that I could be better spending my time. I felt that I had something to contribute and life wasn't all about making money. So I eventually started demanding that they save up their change requests and only contact me when they had at least a days work to do. Something strange happened. They stopped calling. It seems that if you make people put up with software not being exactly the way they want it to be, even if it's just for a week, they will put up with it forever. But if you're there for them as soon as they call and sit down with them and try to make the software exactly the way they want it, they'll pay just about any price for that service.

      --
      How we know is more important than what we know.
    4. Re:charge 'em by TheCarp · · Score: 3, Interesting

      So very true.

      Its funny seeing how different groups act. I rememer being on an admin team doing real production support for critical applications, if something broke, your first priority was to make sure service stayed up, and your second was making sure that it didn't happen again.

      If that meant sending a core file or even a crash dump to the vendor and making them tell you why it broke and when the patch was comming out, then thats what you did.

      Generally, it got things fixed, eventually. Now I have more exposure to other systems and I notice, thats not the attitude. People work with broken stuff all the time, just keep on chugging.

      Fact is, you can get used to antything. Getting used to things is kind of what our brains are meant to do. Honestly, I would imagine that most honest to god bugs in end user software are easier to just get used to than say... swithcing from vi to notepad or vice versa.

      -Steve

      --
      "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
    5. Re:charge 'em by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 5, Informative

      Yep. I call it the "security blanket syndrome" - because it makes people very comfortable and gives them a strong feeling of safety to know that if they have a problem, no matter how rare such problems are, that the guy to fix it for them is right there. And let me tell you -- it is VERY profitable.

      I myself discovered it by accident. I was getting burnt out with a particular client, but I didn't want to just shut down the connection. So, I decided to raise my rates until they 'fired' me for being a geedy bastard. I tripled my rate, well into the triple digits, and they did not bat an eye.

      In fact, as my client as gone through a fair amount of managerial turn-over, hardly anyone left knows what my original billing rate was and I am now perceived as more important and more valuable than I was when I walked in the door in large part due to how much more expensive I am than any of their other contractors and all I really do is give advice to people and put out the occasional fire. Lots of time for slashdot during the day.

      So, now I am totally burnt out on this boring, tedious gig - the rest of my life is a total mess, but if I can suffer through another year of this, I will be able to retire well before 40.

      This phenomenon is also one reason I am a strong believer in the service business-model for Free software. Selling high-quality, highly personalized service to be big corps with deep pockets can be very profitable.

      --
      When information is power, privacy is freedom.
    6. Re:charge 'em by eonlabs · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "Although I quite like them personally, I really don't need the hassle of their regular calls at the moment."

      I have a feeling that brazenly offending them isn't the solution either.
      Depending on how close you are to the person, you might directly ask for help
      with your stuff in exchange for the tech support. Cleaning someone's computer
      or teaching them how to use it is as time consuming and personal as a lot of
      domestic tasks, so I don't see this as being unreasonable.

      If they just happen to be a nice customer that you're on good terms with, you
      might try pointing them 'gently' toward other resources. That seems to have
      worked well with me when I needed some time away from the constant prodding for
      tech support.

      --
      I wouldn't consider the mad hatter mad. Just reality impaired. He sure can make a mean cup of tea.
    7. Re:charge 'em by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      "What this man needs isn't money, it's sex. He should demand a night with a nubile female relative in exchange for continued support."

      You're from Kentucky, right?

    8. Re:charge 'em by nacturation · · Score: 5, Funny

      Either he gets the sex or he offends the other partly so badly that he never hears from him again.

      Or his offer is accepted, and this prompts a somewhat different Ask Slashdot.

      --
      Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
    9. Re:charge 'em by Henry+V+.009 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, but like the submitter, you're a doormat. By the way, I need to borrow your car tonight to take your wife out someplace nice while you fix my computer. I spilled beer all over the keyboard again.

    10. Re:charge 'em by SpacePunk · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It also works for small businesses. Sometimes you get called in to basically do nothing more than wave a dead chicken around and mumble a few words. Being the 'technology security blanket' can be profitable.

    11. Re:charge 'em by eonlabs · · Score: 2, Informative

      "I need to borrow your car tonight to take your wife out someplace nice while you fix my computer. I spilled beer all over the keyboard again"

      There is a limit. Courtosy is a valuable thing. There is nothing wrong with pointing a customer to another source so you don't offend them. If they don't take the hint, feel free to let them know that there is a problem. If you are having the issues mentioned above, you needed to take action much earlier and should be very clear in telling them off.

      Good luck.

      --
      I wouldn't consider the mad hatter mad. Just reality impaired. He sure can make a mean cup of tea.
    12. Re:charge 'em by bxbaser · · Score: 2, Funny

      "nubile female relative"

      Please Please dont tell me you fix your mom or grandmothers pc.

    13. Re:charge 'em by no_mayl · · Score: 2, Informative

      "financial incentives or penalties"

      Well, the $3 seemed to be like a "service change": $1->4ILS, food in telavivi ~100(?) -> $25.
      So for about 1/8th of meal, you can get your kid looked after. Beats a babysiter!
      Now try charging 5x MAX($babysitter,$own-salary), and they will pickup the rugrats at the speed of light.

      Penalties should be proportionnal to resources available. If all the parents make big ILS, then the penalty needs to match up. Pushing the limit way-out on the 1st time will cause them to take the kids somewhere else.
      Tricky balance... TCP's RTO exponential penalty?

      " - Hi, this is the 3rd time you pickup your kid late... we'll have to charge you an arm... please step towards the chopping block...
          - haaaaaaarrrgh!
          - The doctor will see u now.
      "

    14. Re:charge 'em by sorak · · Score: 3, Insightful
      give 'em some reasonable number of requests, and after that charge them $55-65 per incident (which should nicely cover the cost of having cleaners deal with at least some of the domestic stuff for you).

      That's a good suggestion, as long as he charges enough to either make it painful for the customer, or to make it worthwhile for him. I'm thinking of the book "freakonomics" by Steven Levit, in which he talks about using money as a way of curbing negative behavior. In his example, it backfired.

      A day-care center was concerned about the number of parents who showed up late to pick up their children. The center should have been closing, and everyone should have been going home, but somone would always have to stay late and wait for so-and-so's mom to show up. So, they instituted a policy that if you are late, then you get fined a dollar. The problem is that, before, their __implicit__ policy was "never be late! Our employees want to go home", and afterward, their implicit policy was "for a small fee, we'll allow you to be late".

      Beforehand, guilt was one of the few things preventing parents from being late. After the policy had been announced, however, people could use the fee to justify being late, and so, therefore, the frequency of parents showing up late increased dramatically, when the policy was meant to decrease it.

      Anyway, the 55-65 dollar fee sounds like it may be a reasonable amount, but I just wanted to warn the poster of the original article about a problem that could arise, if he's too generous with the pricing.

    15. Re:charge 'em by VAXcat · · Score: 4, Interesting

      You laugh, but one of DEC's best field service upper level support guys carried a rubber chicken in his tool box. Once, he got called out to fix a dead 11/70 at a critical installation, where a newspaper was waiting to switch over to electronic composition, and lots of money was being lost while this system wouldn't start. This 3rd level tech got called in when the local guys couldn't fix it. It was a very important account, and high up DEC executives were waiting for his, as well as all the managers of the newspaper. This guy walked around the system for a quick visual inspection, and noticed a loose cable in the back of the thing causing the problem. He plugged it in while no one was watching...and then took out his rubber chicken, danced around the system chanting gibberish and waving the chicken, and then hit the boot button...the system started....the DEC managers wanted to fire him, then kill him, but the newspaper folks, who had a sense of hunmor and were so glad he got it going wouldn't hear of it, and insisted that this guy oversee the installation of this gear at all of their other sites...DEC Field Service guys...some of them, they were like that, back in the day...

      --
      There is no God, and Dirac is his prophet.
    16. Re:charge 'em by Webmoth · · Score: 2, Interesting

      You're on to something there.

      I wouldn't go so far as to ask for sex, but start asking for personal advice. Every time you talk to the person, start lamenting about what a hell-hole your life has become. Start asking for advice on relationships, housecleaning, child-rearing, etc.

      Hey, if he can ask YOU for advice on stuff he has no clue, you can certainly turn the tables and do the same to HIM.

      After a while, he just won't want to talk to you any more.

      --
      Give me my freedom, and I'll take care of my own security, thank you.
  2. Avoid the problem altogether by fotbr · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I know its too late, but the simple solution to the problem is to not provide support in the first place, unless you're being paid specifically for that support. Either way, refer them to someone who is willing to make a job out of support.

    1. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by fumblebruschi · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I had to slide out of providing support for my mom, which took up a lot of (exasperating) time.

      My mom is in her seventies, and wanted a computer, because she wanted to use email because she doesn't like feeling left out. Fair enough. So I set up an idiot-simple Linux laptop for her, hiding all icons except Firefox and Thunderbird. "This one is the Internet; This one is email."
      The problem is, that wasn't simple enough. My mom kept calling me with imaginary problems. She thought the laptop had crashed, because the screen saver came on. She accidentally minimized the Firefox window and thought she'd deleted it. No amount of explanation could make it clear to her what the scroll bar was for; whenever anything was off the screen she thought it was gone. Honestly, it was driving me insane. Restraining myself from saying something like "RETARDED MONKEYS can do this! You have two masters' degrees! What the hell is your problem!" was practically giving me an ulcer.
      However, she provided the solution herself. Somehow or other she realized that the system I'd set up wasn't "what everybody else has" (probably one of her friends saw it and told her) so she became convinced that the whole problem was that I had set her computer up wrong, and if she had Windows and Outlook like everybody else, she wouldn't have any problems.
      Off she goes and gets whatever the clerk at Best Buy told her was good. Of course, she can't use that either, but MY problem is solved, because when she calls for help I just say "Sorry, Ma, I don't know anything about Windows. Call Best Buy." End of high blood pressure.

      So hey, it turns out Microsoft is good for something after all.

    2. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by rjforster · · Score: 4, Funny

      Do Macs not have scrollbars or something? They did last time I saw them?

      No, what she needs is that mythical Movie-OS. You know, the one where nothing goes off screen and emails are sent in a giant animated swooshing envelope.

    3. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by Walruzoar · · Score: 2, Insightful

      A good point. Years ago I used to do support for friends & "charge" a couple of bottles of nice wine, or a bottle of Courvoisier, which seemed OK at the time (I felt awkward about charging mates...). After doing this for a while I came to realise that some of the people that I was helping equated what they paid for the drinks (say £20) to what the support was ACTUALLY WORTH. Needless to say, I have not done this for a long time!

      --
      Take off every 'Sig'!! You know what you doing. http://www.donline.co.uk/
    4. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by nadaou · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Remember that in earlier days it took her several months to teach you how to poop without making a mess. Maybe frustrating calls now, but perhaps you owe her some slack?

      Or maybe she didn't really need help, but just wanted some involvement with you on some level?

      --
      ~.~
      I'm a peripheral visionary.
    5. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'll have to say otherwise.

      I run a tiny cluster in a lab doing MD sims and electronic-structure calculations.

      We have budding PhD's here who "run" these simulations on the cluster. Each has a dual-boot desktop. they "run" linux. (pointy-clicky) They are supposed to "work" on unix clusters without knowing how unix works. They want to know where their files are without looking for them. They want to be able to write MPI programs in Fortran90. They want to use mkisofs and cdrecord without a fucking clue about what a .iso is. One moron cp's stuff over to the mount point and asks me why it didn't show up on the CD, as if I'm to blame for the copy not working. Enough, man - it's already killing me.

      They want everything on a golden platter, complete with the candles. They're too fuckin lazy to figure out paths and will go to great extents not to have to type a path. they probably have a score of aliases (well, maybe 10. i don't give a shit)

      They want to know how to do all sorts of stuff that root does (building programs, libs and stuff) but don't want to make an effort to learn. They just want it handed over to them. They don't know what goes in to building great software, and they will never know.

      Still, they don't know till date how to follow instructions. They will NEVER, ever invest any attosecond of their lives reading a man page. They don't have a f'ing clue to what unix is like, but they still love to brag about their "experience" with computers. They WON'T follow the documentation, and CONSTANTLY pester you when a typo in their command removes any chance of a command running.

      They remove (comment out) offending lines (ya, they know line nums) in F77 code and EXPECT it to run. YAY!!

      And this is something you won't even want to fucking believe. I'm told by one of these so-called phd-wannabes to build some unix software (autoconf) with a windows-based compiler.On a windows box. Mmm, tasty.

      These people are not gonna pay for a decent compiler ever. they want all the free fuckin stuff without a fuckin clue as to why its fuckin free. they don't care about gnu, they just want their job done whatever it takes. And will step over anyone/anything except their own ignorance and stupidity to get there.

      They're wannabe PhD's simply without the motivation to learn. (*oxymoronometer going off*) They're dripping wet of incompetence, stupidity, laziness and they're not willing to change. makes me puke.

      Yes. You. Read. That. Right.

      WTF will these peabrains do when they're getting their peeHD's? their post-docs?
      Boy i'm sure as hell gonna enjoy it when the shit hits the fan :P

    6. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by LatePaul · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I don't mean to be insulting, but I've seen this problem over and over and more often than not it boils down to that stereotype that is proven true time and again: techies often have poor people skills and don't realize it and end up blaming other people because they don't teach the points well or communicate clearly.

      One major point I learned as a teacher: it is the responsibility of the teacher to present the material appropriately to the student, not of the student to figure out poorly presented teaching.

      Which is fine but why is the techie at fault for not having teaching skills any more than the non-techie is for not having computer skills? Being a good teacher, being able to identify what someone is failing to understand, why and how best to explain it is a whole set of non-trivial skills in itself. I'd've thought as a teacher you wouldn't under-value those skills by referring to them as generic "people skills".

    7. Re:Avoid the problem altogether by hobo+sapiens · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Spoken like a true moron. Mr. and Mrs. Coward spent long hours teaching you how to flee from responsibility and this is how you repay them?!?

      --
      blah blah blah
  3. Business is business by trewornan · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is a really simple business decision - these are the customers you don't want, you need to get rid of them to have a healthy business. Dump this guy, politely, but firmly. "I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to provide support any more because priorities have had to change and I won't have the time, it's nothing personal it's just business".

    If the guy takes it badly, that's his problem.

    1. Re:Business is business by Loconut1389 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'm not sure I'd directly say that customers aren't a priority (because he'll certainly take it that way) and that could get around. Negative PR spreads faster than positive. Don't breed enemies. This is not to say you shouldn't dump the guy, but different phrasing might be worthwhile.

      You: Good afternoon _______, what can I help you with today?
      Customer: ............. blah blah ..........
      You: I understand what you're telling me, but I have to tell you that this is outside of what the management has authorized me to offer support for. I know that I've helped you with these types of issues in the past, but I really have to stick to the guidelines from now on. Is there anything directly related to one of our products I can help you with today?

      now that's just an idea, but I think it takes the pressure off of you as a support rep and puts it on the customer and the management in a nice way.

    2. Re:Business is business by GoofyBoy · · Score: 3, Insightful

      >I'm not sure I'd directly say that customers aren't a priority (because he'll certainly take it that way) and that could get around.

      Between my family and personal relationship life and business life/customers, the later doesn't even rank close.

      I wouldn't care if it get around. "I failed to perform to what a customer expected because I had to handle my personal life." is something I can easily live with.

      You can ALWAYS get other customers/bosses/co-workers but you can't get another family.

      --
      The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
    3. Re:Business is business by agm · · Score: 4, Insightful

      You can ALWAYS get other customers/bosses/co-workers but you can't get another family.

      Too true. I did a month stint on a high deadline job a while back and while my wife supported me 100%, it was hard on both of us. I flat out refuse to do it again, and management know this. I've made it clear that no job or project is more important than my family.

  4. Try telling them the truth? by nxtw · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Why not tell them the truth, and if you need to, give them the name and number of someone that would gladly help them. Perhaps you can find someone that could use the money, such as a student...

    I find that increasing rates also helps, as previously mentioned.

    1. Re:Try telling them the truth? by mboverload · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Honesty is the best policy...most of the time.

      Lucky for you, this is one of those times. Just explain the situation and if they are an understanding friend (like you appear to make them out to be) they will thank you for all the help so far and go find someone else.

    2. Re:Try telling them the truth? by PepeGSay · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Honesty in this situation is the best policy. Help them by transitioning them to someone who can provide the service they need, and temper your brush off with an honest statement of your situation. Honesty isn't telling them every boring detail of your life, but you *can* tell them "I am not able to provide the support that you have been receiving as a part of my other services any more. I can either charge you X or you can use Y service/person/some other tech guy I recommend."

      You should be charging a fair market rate for your service. A person who calls you with every minor question is a dead give away that you are charging too little. However, if you can't provide good service due to life constraints at any price then you need to transition them to someone else.

    3. Re:Try telling them the truth? by ArsenneLupin · · Score: 2, Funny
      P.S. This approach also works well with toddlers who want to eat cookies before dinner.

      I'm sorry, it's not my responsibility to provide you with cookies before dinner, go pester Mom instead!

  5. Grow a backbone by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 4, Informative
    You don't say whether this is a personal relationship or not, but either way, just explain your situation and point them to Geek Squad at Best Buy. If it's personal, they'll understand that it's been a rough year. If it's a business relationship, then screw 'em. They're going to keep asking as long as they get free customer support. Again, tell them your time situation is such that you can't do it anymore, and that's it. That's a lot easier than a personal relationship.

    The bottom line, however, is that you need to learn to say "no". It really is OK to not give out free customer support to people, even if they're friends or family. If friends/family don't understand that you're not up to it after the year you've had, they're not much in the way of friends anyway.

    Just be sure to give them an alternative, then it'll at least seem like you care about them getting a solution.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
    1. Re:Grow a backbone by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      It really is OK to not give out free customer support to people, even if they're friends or family.

      True enough, although I would never say no to my parents. Cleaning out their spyware is a very small return on their investment. You'll feel better for it too, unless you are a totally hopeless person.

    2. Re:Grow a backbone by LordNightwalker · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If you have a relative who's a car mechanic, do you expect them to fix your car for free?

      What, you think handymen don't have these "support" problems? How many times hasn't my dad fixed peoples' cars, changed the tires, changed the brakes, changed their oil, do some engine work etc... How many times haven't I witnessed friends of mine help other friends install a car stereo system, "tint" the windows etc? How many times hasn't my uncle had to help someone in the family install or fix a sattellite dish + receiver, how many times hasn't another one of my uncles helped people fix broken electronics? You know shit other people don't, and if they're friends or relatives, they often expect you to come help them for free. The good guys offer something in return; I have this kind of relationship with my sattellite dish uncle: I regularly help him with his computer, and he helps me with car stuff (most of my family knows a fair bit about cars since they all work at the Ford Motor Company plant in Genk, Belgium).

      If you have a relative who is an airline pilot, do you expect them to give you free rides?

      That's different; the airplane ain't his, the tickets aren't his to give away. But I suppose most airlines have this policy of letting their pilots' relatives fly cheaper, so yeah, even there you get something out of it. This question should be rephrased as "If you have a relative who's a pilot, would you expect him to give you free lessons when you learn to fly that little sports plane? I'm assuming the rental fee is yours to pay, of course; the lesson is free, but you don't expect them to spend their money to do you favors. Rephrased like this, it becomes quite similar to "if you have a relative who has a driver's license, do you expect them to teach you for free?" Gosh, well... isn't that how most of us learned to drive?

      If you have a relative who is a prostitute, do you expect, umm, well anyway...

      No, but I have a relative who's a hairdresser. She even offered me to cut my hair for free on several occasions. I said no, because I don't like to owe people favors. But to answer your question: if it were a good looking relative, and not too closely related (a sister would be kinda yuck, a cousin would be awkward, but your brother's wife's sister would be OK) I see no reason why I wouldn't take advantage of her services. I wouldn't expect a discount, but I'm sure I'd be getting better service than most of her other customers...

      Oh God, what am I saying??? I can't betray my poor Fluffy like this! Ignore that last paragraph!

      Anyway, last installment in the saga of my dad's life: a cousin of my mother came by the other day, funny how you hardly ever see them unless they need something done, but they're OK, so it's allright... Anyway, he wanted my dad's help laying new floor throughout his house. It was something like "I got a favor to ask; if you have time, could you help me lay new floor throughout the house? The old floor is busted, my tax return will come in pretty soon, and I thought of investing it in a new floor. I know you can do it since I saw you put in new floor in your own home, so if you would have some time somewhere next month, you think you could help me out? Or just show me how it's done so I can do it myself, 'coz I got no clue on how to do it myself...

      Note that last part: he doesn't mind doing the work himself, but he just doesn't have the experience, and understandably doesn't want to mess up a project with this kind of expense involved. He doesn't expect my father to do all the work. My father has the choice of either coming to help, while the guy does part of the work as well, but with lesser risk of screwing up because someone knowledgeable is around to keep an eye on his work, or just teaching the guy how it's done, telling him what he needs to keep in mind while doing it. Those are the best kind of "support calls": these people know you have your own life and respect the fact that you want to manage your own time. Also

      --
      Install windows on my workstation? You crazy? Got any idea how much I paid for the damn thing?
    3. Re:Grow a backbone by glesga_kiss · · Score: 2, Insightful
      I would never say no to my parents. Cleaning out their spyware is a very small return on their investment.

      Hell, it's your investment on your inheritance, keeping those keyloggers at bay. ;-)

  6. An idea by Mr_Tulip · · Score: 5, Funny
    Just tell him/her you are unable to do it during work hours, as it is too busy / against company policy / whatever. Offer to help him out if he brings his PC to your house after hours.

    Then move far away.

    This worked for me

    1. Re:An idea by tomhudson · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Offer to help him out if he brings his PC to your house

      Definitely works.

      They figure its easier for YOU to come over to their place than it is for them to:

      1. unplug everything
      2. bring it to your place
      3. set it up
      4. wait while you fix it
      5. unplug everything
      6. bring it back home
      7. set it up
      ... because they don't value YOUR time as highly as they value THEIR time.

      I've seen systems sit on the floor for half a year in other people's homes, inoperable, because people are too lazy to bring them over, so they use this as an excuse to buy a new one ...

      Wait long enough, and those systems become yours for free. Great for spare parts.

    2. Re:An idea by Odocoileus · · Score: 2, Funny

      You don't have to move far away. Just have their phone number(s) blocked by your phone company. Label their email address as spam. Keep the house dimly lit at night (also good for the light bill) and mount a webcam near the door so you can identify people before you let on that you are home. Throw in some extra special touches like always leaving a few days worth of newspapers outside your house.
      An alternate move might be to fake a stroke or something and play dumb. This is probably the easiest solution because it requires no extra setup outside of when the people are actually near.

      --
      ...
    3. Re:An idea by kurzweilfreak · · Score: 2, Funny

      There's an "outsourced to India" joke SOMEWHERE in there, I can feel it.

      --

      kurzweil_freak

      5th Kyu Genbukan Ninpo/KJJR student

      Be the darkness that allows the light to shine.

  7. Why not the truth? by Rick+Zeman · · Score: 2, Informative

    "Sorry, but due to other commitments I don't have the time or the inclination to deal with your issues now."

  8. Good idea by Schraegstrichpunkt · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's great that you've asked Slashdot users -- a community that is known throughout the world for its tact and ability to handle delicate matters -- to help solve your dilemma.

    1. Re:Good idea by gid · · Score: 2, Insightful

      This kind of what I do. I'll help them out the first few times right away, then I'll make myself more busy, waiting longer and longer get back to them--things have been rather hectic here anyway so it's not a lie.

      They either eventually a) figure the problem out on their own, b) call someone else who isn't as busy, c) wait for me to come over/call them back and talk them through it days later. I've found that c doesn't happen very often for me, and if it does, then that's fine with me, since then I can help them out when it's most convenient for me.

  9. of course by spir0 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    well, of course they'll keep coming to you, because you're free, and you never say no. One or both of these has to change.

    --
    The reason girls and Windows users don't understand UNIX is because all the documentation is in Man files.
  10. Mo' money by loftwyr · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I wound down the suport aspect of my business a while back but the only way to get rid of the support people was to start raising the rates so they would find someone else.

    I don't know what you charge now, but start upping it fast. Increments of 25% is a good way to wean people off stupid calls. You can always charge less, later. Demanding a 3 hour minimum is a good way to go as well (even 4 hour minimums).

  11. Automate the response... by euxneks · · Score: 2, Informative

    Automate the response -- it may sound like a bit more work, but I've tried it myself and in the long run it seems to work out well...
     
    For instance, for a while I had to look up certain results in a DB for a user and it was happening so often I just created a web interface for them to look it up themselves -- granted, that's an easy fix and I probably should have had that in place in the beginning, but it cut down the amount of time spent trying to figure out why certain things were hooped by about 95%. Now, whenever my coworker contacts me, it's for issues that are most likely bugs and not for DB row queries.
     
      I understand that your situation is not exactly the same as mine, and my condolences for any hardships you are enduring - But perhaps there might be a way to automate this tech support for this user?
     
    Another thing would be to talk to your superviser above you and if he or she is a good supervisor, they'll recognize the issues and try to find a solution that works for you.
     
    Finally, if all else fails, just feign ignorance and the user will probably find another poor sys admin to hassle... =P

    --
    in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
  12. Simple by Maqueo · · Score: 4, Insightful

    How about just telling them what you told us?

    "I have too much shit on my plate right now to take care of your technical problems."

    You don't even owe them an explanation, it's perfectly ok to set your boundaries as you wish them to be. If after that they still bug you they're not your friends, they're just parasites.

    Good luck with everything man, hang in there.

  13. Do what I did... by blanktek · · Score: 5, Funny

    Get a mac and then "forget" about how to use windows.

  14. I don't understand... by jlarocco · · Score: 2, Informative

    I don't understand why you're oligated to fix this person's computer.

    Are they paying you? Raise the price. If that doesn't work, raise it again. Problem solved.

    If they're not paying you, tell them to fuck off. It's not your problem that they're too lazy to figure it out themselves or too cheap to pay someone else to do it.

    1. Re:I don't understand... by Attaturk · · Score: 2, Insightful


      I don't understand why you're oligated to fix this person's computer.

      It's called being considerate. Some people still seem to think that's quite a worthwhile trait believe it or not.
      Facetiousness aside, I believe the OP didn't need to be told that 'no' was an option; rather how best to let people down.

  15. I don't know, but I know someone who does... by DeathToBill · · Score: 3, Funny

    The Mighty BOFH! All the advice you need (and plenty you don't) is contained therein.

    --
    Slashdot - News for Nerds, Stuff that Matters, in ISO-8859-1 Has just realised that beta makes this signature redundant
  16. Easy as ABC by hobbit · · Score: 2, Insightful


    a) If they're paying you for support: Bump up the price.
    b) If they're not paying you for support: See (a)
    c) If they keep asking for support at the new price: Hire someone decent and take a cut!

    --
    "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something" - Plato
  17. Go to Staples by Pete+LaGrange · · Score: 2, Funny

    and get a ridiculously expensive price list printed up. After the next free service call, hand them the price list and tell them you're starting your own small service business. Make sure to emphasize your desire that they remain a loyal customer.

    --
    loyalty above all, save honor
  18. Re:Wait... what? by WhyCause · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I think (I'm not the OP, so I can't say for certain) that this 'customer' is an aquaintance/friend who calls up every now and then to ask for help. We've all been there, heck, sometimes we even offer to help the first few times. The goods ones offer you a beer or two and snacks. The bad ones don't even try to make small-talk when they call you up ("Jim? It's Bob. I need you to come over and...").

    To get back to the original question, however, here's how I've done it in the past. First, I defer once or twice (i.e., "I can't come over tonight. Maybe next week?"). Next, I give them a list of sites/programs that might help, if they take the initiative, this list generally helps them. Thirdly, I tell them that I'm just not going to be able to do it anymore, and try to suggest some one who can (generally for money).

    I can appreciate how you may not want to hurt the customer's feelings (especially if you want to remain on good terms), so the trick is in how gently you let them down. I've had some people figure it out on their own after defering, for others, I'm perennially in the "try this, this, this, and this, and call back if it doesn't work" phase. I've only had to tell one person that I couldn't do it anymore (computers aren't my primary business, and they weren't paying me anywhere near enough for my time and travel).

    If you look at how I've described it, it's almost like breaking-up. The real trick is giving them good reasons as to why you're dumping them in a non-judgemental way. Myriad family problems seem a good enough reason to me, but if they overreact, well, do you really want to hang around them anymore?

  19. This is what I do... by coolgeek · · Score: 2, Interesting

    "I don't support home users, because it would cost you less money to simply purchase a new Dell box than it would to hire me to fix your spyware infestation"

    --

    cat /dev/null >sig
  20. Always Charge - even family and friends. by spacecowboy420 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I always charge everyone. Now maybe I only charge a 12 pack or dinner or some trivial token, but they always know that my services are not free. I charge my mother, sister - everyone. If it's a quick question, I'll give them the answer, but I am quick to point them to a website or the help. Even when they do pay me, everyone is quick to thank me and I reassure them - "No problem, I do this for a living". One thing this has taught me is to use my friends talents. My realtor found me a house in exchange for a website waiving the realtor fee, my sister grooms my cat - for free. My friends that use me as a resource always know that there will come a day when I will ask for their help. I had a friend send a crew over to redo my lawn - for free.

    Use the barter system. If your friend likes PC support, ask him for some help with _all_ of the domestic chores you have. Oh, and hire a cleaning lady, you can generally get one to come in twice a month for around $1-200 - then fix her computer for free cleanings :D

    --
    ymmv
    1. Re:Always Charge - even family and friends. by uglyduckling · · Score: 2, Interesting
      'What's in it for me?' is an important question. Maybe the answer is 'a warm fuzzy feeling' or 'being pleased to see a friend/relative is happy'. Unfortunately for IT support the answer is often 'another thousand or so calls from the same person who is perfectly capable of using google but can't be bothered'.

      I don't mind providing help, but I get very annoyed when people (including friends and relatives) presume that because I can do something then it's my moral duty to do it for them, for free, for an indefinite length of time. This is particularly true when they could quite easily pay for support, so in effect I'm just giving them something a free service so they can spend their money on something else.

      If I knew someone who was a professional chef, I wouldn't expect them to come to my house and cook a meal every weekend to save me the cost of going to a decent restaurant, but I hope they wouldn't mind answering the occasional question when I really couldn't understand the recipe book or maybe recommending a local restaurant.

  21. Gotta SELL the tunnel by Maximilio · · Score: 2, Funny
    "I'm about to go into a pplhplhphlph tunn zxhdksh phplh losing coh . . tah . . plhlplhplh . . "

    THEN hang up. Gotta put some effort into your act!!

  22. I'm confused... by Dimensio · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You had a situation where you could do five minutes of work and be paid $240 for it, but you cut people off because they did not space their support calls in such a way so that you would do more work for the same money?

    1. Re:I'm confused... by QuantumG · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yeah, I was young and money wasn't all that important to me. Now I'm old, and I like the comfort of job security, but if I was still contracting I'd love to find suckers, err, I mean, devoted clients, like that again.

      --
      How we know is more important than what we know.
  23. Do what I did by gone.fishing · · Score: 4, Funny

    Run over their dog on the way out of the driveway.

    1. Re:Do what I did by karearea · · Score: 2, Funny

      Run over their dog on the way out of the driveway.

      I'd moderate that as +1 Funny, but it might be true.

  24. You're buying the phone # not the PC by Presence2 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    We all know that a PC you buy and a PC you build have basically the same parts, and that building it yourself is cheaper. That said, I've told every non-geek person for years who has pestered me to "build them a powerful pc" that when you buy a machine, you're paying for that 800 number in the manual, not the pile of parts. That number is worth every penny of an overpriced off the shelf PC because it removes YOU from the responsibility of fixing it.

  25. pass it on by tenorslowworm · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Find a competent college or high school kid and tell people that you're no longer doing free support for friends because you're trying to help this deserving kid get paying gigs.

  26. Three words: Interactive Voice Response by stinkydog · · Score: 2, Funny

    Turn off all the ringers on you phones. Build an Interactive Voice Response system. Spend plenty of time on an extensive menuing system as deep as you can imagine (and add a few more layers). Ensure that the only live person reachable through your rig is a pizza place in New Delhi. I am sure that you no longer will be bothered by pesky callers again. If you get a second phone line for people you actually want to talk to, be sure it is unlisted.



    SD

    --
    âoeWho knew something as harmless as willful ignorance could end up having real consequences?â
  27. Re:Charge others as you would have them charge you by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You all don't like it when companies charge too much (if the bitching on slashdot is any measure). But have no problem stepping into those same shoes.

    As one loqacious contractor likes to say - "bidness is bidness."

    The service business ain't no monopoly, any buyer is free to walk away and hire someone else if they don't like the price. If they can't find anyone at the price they want, then they are welcome to either handle it in house (it is open-source after all) or move to another product.

    It is hard to get less coercive than that.

    Wake me up when you can get a custom kernel patch for Windows - from somebody other than microsoft - for under $100K.

    --
    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  28. Re:Honesty by Veliena · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The majority of his customers are more than likely not bastards. They have found an excellent means of support and he, being a kind person and happy to help them thus far, hasn't given them any indication the situation needs to change. I don't see why anyone should assume they won't be understanding.

    Communicating the truth to the best of your ability is what I'd suggest. Not everyone needs to know every detail of your life, but being honest that you're going through a rough time and need to cut back on some aspects of your job will work. If they ask what's going on, tell them if you're comfortable; they may be able to offer _you_ some advice or kind words of support, too. If they don't understand at that point then sure, bastards. They're easy to cut off.

    Something else you should do as has already been suggested is offer information to another means of support. If there isn't one you're aware of tell them that too, but make sure they know their continued support is a concern for you.

    I'm really surprised at the number of people suggesting to raise prices as an only solution to get out of a situation you don't want in at all. If more money would make the situation better for you then sure, it's an honest option but, sheesh. Is directly communicating your needs to another person really scary enough to resort to random manipulation instead?

  29. a few suggestions by the-build-chicken · · Score: 4, Funny

    1) Put them old hold, for a long time, with really annoying music
    2) Transfer them to random departments like accounting, or freight delivery
    3) After they finally get back to you, cut them off.
    4) Implement a long winded touch tone system that doesn't work (with no option of going straight to an operator)
    5) Implement a long winded voice recognition system that doesn't work (note: if you implement this with the ability to listen in, it can double as a hilareous source of entertainment Customer: "Tech Support Please"...System: "Did you say 'Wreck your court with cheese?"
    6) Disagree with them over silly and obvious things eg...Customer "Oh hi, I have a computer and..." You interrupting "No you don't"
    7) Don't forget the good old "I don't have the authority..."
          version 1: "I don't have the authority to answer that...I'll have my supervisor call you back"
          version 2: "I don't have the authority to do that, you'll have to download our authorization form from , sign it, and fax it back to " ..
    well, that's what works for my bank anyway

  30. Recommend end users to buy professional systems by ryanw · · Score: 3, Insightful
    I saw this situation creeping up on me pretty heavily. I was doing a lot at work, and I'd come home to relax to a slew of friend's and family computers that needed care. I found the best way to deter friend's and family was by giving them recommendations to buy expensive "complete" systems with support contracts. Everyone is looking for a FREEBE or a "deal". As soon as I recommended people to buy mac with "apple care" or Dell systems with support contracts they stopped calling.

    Sure, this seems heartless or selfish, but the truth is those higher end systems were every bit as good as whatever I could build for them, and not all that much more expensive. In the end they were more happy and thanked me because they had more time to use their computers.

    In trying to keep this a non-biased post I will interject just one last observation. The people that I recommended to buy macs and did are still using the same computers from three years ago and are still happy. The ones that went with dell most all got tons of viruses and had a lot of support calls, not quite as happy, but it was their choice.

  31. Simple by pocketfuzz · · Score: 3, Funny
    You could take some these seemingly sensible steps mentioned in other posts, but if you just wear this next time you stop by you can cut out that uncomfortable social interaction. Once you walk in, I'm sure the unequivocal statement printed upon your apparel will make your intentions perfectly clear and you can leave without a word!

    Just think of the countless other unpleasant conversations you could completely avoid with this method! There's the "I'm cheating on you with your best friend." shirt, or how about "Your mother and I are getting a divorce."? The possibilities are endless!

    --
    Bring on the asteroid
  32. Work hard, but don't work harder than the patient by KWTm · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Agreed. Somehow clients don't appreciate the work done when they don't have to do it.

    Tech support clients would be the equivalent of medical patients in my practice, and in any practice we see all sorts of people, including the needy/clingy/demanding type of person who wants everything done for him (== her). "I want an Xray!" "I want better medications!" "I want to see a specialist!" And all this after the patient declines to improve his eating habits and "forgets" to take medicine. (You can envision the equivalent scenario for tech support.)

    I will often tell the patient quite frankly: "I will work very hard for you --I will bend over backwards, if necessary-- but I will NOT work harder than you." And I give them homework. Measure your blood sugar twice daily, or do your back exercises every night, or mark on your calendar when you feel the pain coming on, or whatever. Don't come back until you've done that.

    Not only would this (hopefully) improve his problem, but it also gives him an appreciation for what you're doing for him. It makes him less whiney because now he doesn't feel as helpless --there's something that he can actually do about it! And, of course, if he's a real loser, he won't see you again because he's not going to do what you asked.

    I realize that the OP was referring to cutting off support completely, not helping his client improve the problem. On this, I would agree with other posters who have suggested telling him the truth, and then setting him up with alternative means of support, telling the client up front that he probably won't get as good support from Geek Squad or whatever, but you can't support him any more.

    Then set a deadline to cut off support: "I can support you for two more weeks, and then that's it." This is important. Tie the deadline to some milestone so that he won't push you to change it: "I start my night classes in two weeks, so that's why I can't do this any more after two weeks." (It is irrelevant whether this is the true reason; you just don't want the client to say, "Aww, how 'bout 3 weeks? How 'bout 4?")

    And then if that doesn't work then ... what I said, in the first part of this post.

    --
    404555974007725459910684486621289147856453481154 in hex is "You sank my Battleship?"
    [GPG key in journal]
  33. Replace yourself... by WasabiAZ · · Score: 2, Informative

    It appears you may want to keep them as a friend, or at least close that if they want another computer in the future you can help them out with that. So you want to just stop supporting their occasional "issues". Then refer them to a support service. The only one that comes to my mind is My Computer Works (http://www.mycomputerworks.com). There may be others in your area, maybe the local Best Buy or something. I don't work for this company, but I personally know several employees and they are helpful to the people I *used* to support. It accomplishes your goals of off-loading their regular support, without something stupid like running over their dog or raising rates. Good luck.

  34. Re:A pain in the posterior... by Fulcrum+of+Evil · · Score: 2, Funny

    The company I used to work (let's call them ACROSS)

    Hail Ilapalazo!

    --
    "We returned the General to El Salvador, or maybe Guatemala, it's difficult to tell from 10,000 feet"
  35. Incomprehensible by whjwhj · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Because I work with systems, I perform occasional builds. This occasionally crosses over to support (especially where it's my kit I'm asked to support). This isn't a problem, nor is it a problem when I get the occasional support query from someone I haven't supplied a system to, but who needs assistance

    I had to read that about 3 times before I figured out what he was saying. I feel very sorry for the poor end users who have to decipher his techno-geek jargon. "Kit"? "Builds"? Speak english, man!

    A better translation:

    Because I work with computers, I occassionally build them for people. Sometimes, I end up having to support the people using those computers. Sometimes I support people using computers that I didn't build myself. And I don't mind one bit!

  36. There's a book called "Boundaries" by technoCon · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I've never read it, which is why I let folks walk over me. Maybe it'll help. Folks I respect recommend it.

    Main thing is to clearly define what you can and can't do right now. If your situation has changed, share with your friend the nature of the change. Set forth all the details, all the details, in triplicate, share your pain with your demanding end-user friend. If it isn't a career-limiting move, tears might be useful. If every time your friend calls with a support question, s/he gets an earful of all your problems--so much so that you never get around to answering the question, your problem will solve itself.

  37. Manners is business by TheMCP · · Score: 4, Informative

    There's nothing wrong with dumping a customer, but the correct way to do it is to 1) Be truthful with them, and 2) If possible, refer them to another professional who can help them.

    The client can take it much better if what you have to tell them is "I'm very sorry but for personal reasons I'm not able to take care of your needs at this time. I've selected someone who can help you in my place, let me give you their name and number..."

    It's also a good opportunity to throw a colleague some work. A friend gave me one of those clients he didn't feel he had time to deal with, at a time when I needed the work. It helped me a lot and I was grateful. Perhaps this incident can lead to some good for someone.

  38. Force them to value your time by a-freeman · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The problem is that this person doesn't place any value on your time. The way to educate them is make them spend as much time as you do fixing each problem, so that they begin to understand and value the relationship between lost time and certain undesirable behaviour (e.g. opening e-mail attachments, failing to update virus software, etc.)

    The best ways that I've found to do this are:

    1) Make the person bring the PC over to your home or other location for service.

    Most of these types of people can't even be bothered to unplug a PC, let alone bring it somewhere; if they can't spend 5 minutes, why should you spend hours?

    2) Force them to sit next to you and watch while you perform the fix.

    Better yet, sit beside them and force them to do, while you walk them them through it. They may even learn something, and if not, at least they have an appreciation of the effort required.

    3) Be blunt with them.

    With these sorts of people, its usually not fixing a range of problems so much as the same problem multiple times (usually virus or malware problems). Explain that once you fix a certain type of problem once or twice, its no longer your responsibility to get the user out that type of jam.

  39. Sometimes the parents pull rank.... by JakiChan · · Score: 4, Funny

    My Dad always has called me for help with his Windows machine at work. He us a University professor. I have been a unix admin and now am a router/switch/firewall jockey. Never in my career have I done Windows desktop support.

    One time when my dad called me at work with some Windows question I said "Dad, you know they have IT people in your department who not only know Windows but know your systems/network better than I ever would. Maybe they can help you figure this problem out."

    His reponse:

    "I didn't pay for 4 years of college to get any backchat out of you. Now answer my fucking question!"

    That kind of sums it all up.

    --
    "Where quality is like a dead stinking rat - you just can't miss it."
    1. Re:Sometimes the parents pull rank.... by Blnky · · Score: 2, Funny

      An associate of mine had the same response from his parents. His response? "You didn't pay for a degree in Microsoft Windows, so why the f*ck do you think that I know anything about it?" It appeared to get the point across.

  40. Why ask us? by Rashdot · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why did you come here for free advice?

    Can't you see we're busy?

    --
    This is not the sig you're looking for.
  41. Bad ju-ju error by shmlco · · Score: 4, Funny

    "..wave a dead chicken around.."

    Back in the day we sold complete business systems based on Apple computers, and one of our developers was having mysterious problems with one program. While trying to track it down he implemented a joke error screen that would pop up and say, "Bad ju-ju error 456. Please wave chicken bones over computer." (456 was a trace number)

    Anyway, about six months later we received a call from a customer in Louisiana who said he'd gotten the error message, had been waving said chicken bones for the last half hour, no joy, and what gives?

    We explained the situation, but needless to say, the customer was not as amused as we were.

    True story.

    --
    Any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.
  42. the dreaded customer by v1 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I work at a computer sales/repair shop, and I am all too familiar with your problem. There are three customers I can think of off-hand that match that description. They are customers that will call you at the drop of a hat, to ask you basic computer use questions. Thhey are people that call you 2 minutes after they encounter a problem, having spent basically no time trying to solve the problem on their own. They will call you and ask you to walk them through what you realize is a 20 minute procedure. And they'll call sometimes 5-10 times per day when they are having particular problems. It's common for them to call back less than 5 minutes after the end of their previous call.

    This almost always gets started because someone at the store initially gives the person an absurd amount of phone support. The customer lacks basic consideration and common sense, and now considers you to be his personal technical support and will now call you at the drop of a hat because you are "so helpful". The customer is certainly part of the problem, but you've done it to yourself.

    These customers are particularly difficult to deal with when they are good, frequent, paying customers. It's hard to say no to someone that buys several thousand dollars of your product every year. It's been my experience that most customers are easy to "show the light" that they are being unreasonable, and will hapily scale back their calls if requested. We also have a professional teacher that specializes in computer training that we refer to such customers. Many times the customer is quite happy to pay ~$25/hr to have a professional come to their house and answer every question they have and show them how to do something. Very often one or two visits by this man solves the entire problem with a customer. We encourage the customers to get a paper and pencil and leave it by their computer, and write down questions as they encounter them, and arrange for an appointment from our tech support person at most once a week, say on Mondays, to answer the week's long list of questions. This helps them to get all their questions answered and minimizes the number of visits required. It also encourages them to think on their questions, most of which they end up answering themselves before Monday rolls around.

    We have problems with new employees because the "leech" customers will quickly realize they have a new ear to talk with and will usually ask for the new guy by name, because they have subconsiously figured out that the new guy will spend absurd amounts of time on the phone to help them, so it's important to train the new people on how to handle the tech support leeches. We try to enforce a "5 minute rule". This means if at any point in the conversation it occurs to us that it will take more than 5 minutes on the phone to help the customer, we ask them instead to bring in their equipment or schedule an on-site. MOST customers will either bring it in, schedule an on-site, or get offended at the idea of spending their money for assistance and hang up. A few will simjply continue to insist that you help them for "just a few more minutes". Those are the inconsiderate ones, the true leeches, and often times you simply have to put your foot down, despite customer relations. We use peer pressure to help with this, and if we spot an employee on the phone for a long time with a customer, we will hold up an open hand and mouth "five minutes" to them to remind them.

    We try to use analogies with some customers, to show them why we cannot talk with them on the phone all day. One of my favorites is the car analogy. "When you buy a new car, the salesman will help you with how to operate the new power seats, show you where the spare tire is at, and tell you about what regular maintenance the car needs. They will not teach you how to drive. That's not their job. You have to learn that for yourself, or hire someone to teach you how to do it". It's amazing how this pulls things into focus for most users, hits them like a bat, and knoc

    --
    I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
  43. Stop all support, all of it by JPriest · · Score: 2, Insightful
    I ran into the same problem, I started supporting some people who told their friends/relitives etc. It didn't take long before it was like a full time job, and they all wanted something for nothing.

    I decided the only way was to stop all of it, period. I support the machines in my household, my dad's PC, and it ends there with no exceptions. My girlfriend sometimes gets frustrated becasue I won't work on her parents stuff, but I don't care, I won't put up with it all again. If they want support they can pay for it from a PC shop or their vendor.

    If they wanted to save a few bucks on the cheapie support contract with their vendor or don't want to invest the time to learn that isn't my problem.

    I support exactly 4 PC's (2 are mine, 1 is GF, 1 is my dad), outside of that I don't care if Jusus rises again for the sole reason of asking me how to change his screen resultion, he can get bent.

    --
    Saying Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.
  44. Try that on MY users. by rantingkitten · · Score: 2, Informative

    Most of the idiots I deal with follow a pattern. It varies in details but the theme is the same -- attempt communications NON-FREAKING-STOP until they get an answer. Typically, I will be away from the desk or something, and they'll call four or five times, leaving one message at the end once they realize I'm not there. Afterwards, they'll usually call a couple more times over the course of the next thirty mninutes, then email me telling me about the voicemail, then email either my boss or my sales partner asking why I won't call them back.

    (Of course, it wouldn't matter, since 99% of the time, when I return a user's call, they aren't there, or they're calling from their car or something, meaning they're nowhere near the device or machine that is giving them problems.. but that's another rant.)

    Once I've been here a little longer and have the clout to throw around I'm going to implement a policy whereby a user is allowed ONE communique of any medium, and I will get back to him when I have the time, but for every subsequent attempt at reaching me after that initial attempt, I will add two hours to their response time. Contrary to their belief, they are not important -- they are but one of hundreds of other doofuses I have to support and my job entails more than just supporting doofuses, which means I have other things to do, which means every time they call and get pushy about their problem, they are pissing off the only person who can help them.

    Thankfully my boss has already green-lit this idea, but I'm not going to do it without permission from the owner -- hence the waiting.

    Anyway, the point is that making people wait doesn't always work, depending on the type of userbase you're dealing with. Most people are impatient and behave like Ptolmey, sitting at the center of the universe while everything rotates around them. If you wait a whole 24 hours to call them back they're going to make your life miserable.

    --
    mirrorshades radio -- darkwave, industrial, futurepop, ebm.
  45. Manage It by Avatar8 · · Score: 2, Interesting
    According to "Time Management for System Administrators," you have three choices: delegate, delay or do it. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0596007833/qid=11 47180948/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/103-6850995-48358 63?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

    Delegate: direct them to someone else that can and will help them. "I don't have the bandwidth to help you right now, but [insert junior admin name here] is available. I'll let him know you're coming and brief him on what you need."

    Delay: Push them off to a time that is convenient for you. "I'm in the middle of something else right now. Can you enter a ticket or send me an e-mail of when you'd be available when I'm free later. It may not be today."

    Do it: Go get it over with so you can continue with the rest of your work.

    Believe it or not, you can also say "No" and not offend someone. I'd suggest you fulfill their request one more time, but when you finish tell them that your responsibilities lie elsewhere. If possible find them a replacement support person that can take care of them.

    My sympathies for your losses, but just hang in there; you'll get through it and be the stronger when life returns to "normal." I strongly encourage you to get the above linked book. Typical time management (Franklin Covey, etc.) does not work for IT people. This book is helping me greatly.

  46. Find the right customers by mode747 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Find customers that understand the time value of money. Clients like Law firms or Accounting Firms will not have a problem cutting you a check for over $100/hour because they understand their time is even more valuable than that. Customer that don't understand the time value of money like Retail or Wholesale companies will be much more hesitant to pay for you time because their customers expect them to service their good for free for the life of the product.

  47. charge 'em 0.00 and invoice it by KevMar · · Score: 4, Insightful

    for all your customers, send them a bill for all the work you have done. On that same bill, add an adjustment that brings that bill to $0.00. Give it a lable of "No charge for previous work" or "Service done at no cost".

    Make sure your rates are posted on it.

    It will list all the work you have done for them in hours and when you charge them for the next call, they have nothing to complain about. Also by charging them they will call less.

    Never ever do anything for free. charge them $0.00 for it so it shows up on the invoice. always send an invoice for work done, even if its at $0.00. That shows them how much you are worth to them and they are more willing to pay for the stuff you do charge for.

    --
    Im a gamer, not a grammer major. This post is full of spelling and grammer mistakes.
    1. Re:charge 'em 0.00 and invoice it by kurokaze · · Score: 2, Interesting

      So how does this work? you charge them $0 for a while, and then all of a sudden remove the adjustment so that they get a proper bill?

      I can't imagine that the person one the recieving end would be happy....

      I don't see whats wrong with just saying that you're too busy at the moment to help out. That's what I did, I built a machine for a family friend but they somehow managed to keep infecting it with viruses and after awhile I got sick of supporting it and that was that.

  48. I don't get it by bbulkow · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Look, I get it about being overcommitted.

    I don't get how you got into this in the first place. You sell handbuilt systems, but you provide free support for people who don't have your systems. As a friend, apparently, but these people aren't friends. I've got friends too - I fix their computers - and when I had deaths in the family, they put me up and took care of me, and didn't ask me to fix their computers.

    The way to get yourself out of this situation is always to give them someone else to call. There's a million nice ways to do it. In this case maybe you say, I'll give you a hand when I have time, but this week's bad and next week doesn't look good either. If you want it done quick, a buddy of mine had a good experience with the help guys at X store, if you need it done quickly, give them a call - but let me know how it goes, eh?

    Recently I had to duck out of a contract job after an introductory meeting because I didn't like the smell of the job. Sounded like too much work and not enough money, and not interesting. So I asked around and got two names of friends who were hungry (so I was doing them a favor) and contacted the contractee - they didn't like those guys, some of the best people I know (better, for this job, than me). So I said I'd keep asking around, but I'm not going to bother. They can't tell quality when they see it, which means they'll be a problem customer. I've kept a good odor, though, and if I do get hungry, I can come back to them.