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Wired News 2006 Vaporware Awards
silentounce writes "Wired News has released the winners of its 9th annual Wired News Vaporware Awards. I won't list any of them in the summary because I don't want to spoil anyone's surprise. They have some interesting entries, one that is more a concept of a product than an actual product. I'm not sure how you can claim something is vaporware if it hasn't even been given a specific name or a developer yet, but apparently they think they can. "
Hmmm... story vaporware?
Here's the list of major accomplishments that have been achieved since they announced it back in 1997: http://duke.a-13.net/
Is it just me? or is listing "Duke Nukem Forever" as number one yet again becoming a tired old joke?
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
It is already flying. Just because it is not in commercial use yet, doesn't make it vapor ware. Duke Nukem is.
If you mod me down, I *will* introduce you to my sister!
Where is the iPhone here? That and the create-a-house. Or anything that gets put in the "Tech to come" section of Popular Science
Yes, Duke Nukem Never is still there. It is eligible for a lifetime achievement award.
Move along. Next article.
"No matter where you go, there you are." -- Buckaroo Banzai
Vapour? Have you seen the size of the fucking thing? Anyway its been built, tested and approved for flight. Yes there are difficulties but they will possibly make it a white elephant, but certainly not vapourware.
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
The A380 is flying. Far from a spruce goose.
"We are all geniuses when we dream"
- E.M. Cioran
So many of those products may be "lateware" but not vaporware. Hell, even Duke Nukem may be out some day AFAIK.
It's time to realise that Abble's products are the biggest abomination these days. Just say NO to the dumb iAbble way!!
I think the developers of DNF have been using these maybe a little too much.
TLF
I do not respond to cowards. Especially anonymous ones.
:wq
I can't believe that Duke Nukem Forever knocked Windows Vista for the MIA award. For five years we were promised all these wonderful technologies that would be part of Windows Vista and the only thing that's coming out next month is a Windows XP upgrade.
The next Duke Nukem game: "Duke Nukem Forever...and ever... and ever..." God I am witty
I bet it would sell....
This sig seemed like a good idea at the time....
I'm still waiting on that one... ...of course it doesn't really matter much since iTunes is in control of the audio-for-sale and video-for-sale market these days. DIVx-based AVIs are becoming the default for "free" video content, particularly from Europe.
As I wrote before here, WMP for Linux was meant as a strategic move to scare content owners away from the open-sourcing of Real Networks' player and codecs, by promising WMP-based DRM for the Linux market. It seemed to work, but rather than go to WMP (which had technical issues as shown by early BootlegTV downloads from the DGM record label (King Crimson)), they held off until iTunes set the new DRM standard. M$'s been behind ever since.
"But remember, most lynch mobs aren't this nice." (H.Simpson)
-- Joe
I'm actually thinking that DNF will win *despite* being released -- and two or three successive years. It's too embedded in the culture at this point. How else can you describe the archetype of vaporware? [The obvious justification is that the /real/ DNF, i.e. the one promised since 97, will not have shipped. Even if DNF wins, the spirit of DNF can live on.]
I can see the meme already: "This is what DNF should have been" for new game demos....
When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi. (Larry Wall)
Evolution is defined as unguided. The above is a description of Intelligent Design, not evolution. The player is essentially the god of a universe built via Theistic Evolution, and every game play decision is a miracle. In a game based on true Evolution, you would just watch everything unfold randomly according to the game rules after perhaps tweaking some initial conditions (you are allowed some Initial Design of the rules / state at the Big Bang, since that doesn't involve any god/world interaction).
When is the next version of the Palm OS coming out?
KDE4 missed the list, but I am betting on it for next years list.
a secure version of Windows
Most of the list isn't vaporware. For example SEDs really exist, people have seen them in operation (and are impressed with what they see). However that doesn't change the fact that from a consumer standpoint, they are vaporware. They were promised, they haven't been delivered. I can't go out and buy one.
Likewise I'm sure that DNF exists in some form, I'm sure that they haven't just been doing nothing all this time. However it's not out, and thus is vapour.
Please stop posting Wired stories. We all already read Wired on a daily basis, just like we read Slashdot. Why post it here days after we've already read it? Just please stop doing it already.
This sig intentionally left blank.
No vaporware list is complete without an entry for a least one Infinium Labs product, be it the Phantom console or the Lapboard.
The most amazing thing is that people keep pouring money in this bottomless pit of a company.
Really, I'm just curious. I'm not going to make fun of you or anything.
Yes there's a prototype for the A380. There's also a demo for Spore. But until Airbus figures out how to insert those 300 miles of wiring, the prototype is meaningless. Without any wiring, a jetliner is just a ... I want to say "big doorstop" but somehow that's not right.
You do sort of have a point. "Vaporware" originally described products that never got beyond the Breathless Announcement, and were usually created solely to stifle interest in competing products. Only one or two products on the Wired list fit that description. We really need a separate term for products that are really, honestly under development, but are way behind schedule. Deathmarchware?
I'm profoundly unsurprised that Spore is in trouble. IMHO, Will Wright is grossly overrated as a game designer. All his games pretend to be simulations, but the "realities" they pretend to implement are absurdly simplistic. (Why is every Sim a bisexual OJ?) People do enjoy playing them, but only because they enjoy fantasizing about their imaginary worlds. The game pretends to bring simulation to the fantasy, but really just provide fancy graphics. Judging from the videos I've seen, Spore isn't any different. And for a game that pretends to model the evolution of wholes species, that just isn't enough.
A heterosexual version of you.
Did Nascar get their DNF acronym (did not finish) from Duke Nukem Forever
After talking about how great it will be for the last three years or so, Mr Seigo and Co. should show something off soon, and it better be good... and no, I'm not talking about backendstuff (Solid, Phonon, ...), I'm talking about the friggin' UI.
Did anyone else read that as Sybian?
Skype + Sybian = Teledildonics?
When Cartman went to the future to get his Wii, he played DNF on the current console systems they were using, really just ask Matt and Trey... :)
C'monnnn, C'monnnnn...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Emo Philips
At this point, it'll either be shit, or it will be sentient.
Check out my sysadmin blog!
Not a single product on the list that I was interested in, anyway. Maybe thats why it takes so long, or why they never show up. Interest has waned, or the need is filled by someone who can deliver.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong fix.
Why not the full featured DirecTV TiVO that was promised to us back in 2005 for delivery in SPRING 06?
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong fix.
SED made the list, but not my favorite, "I ain't buyin a TV until it's" OLED
The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
21 years. That should beat the wait time for Duke Nukem Forever!
The Airbus is on the list but not the flying car? Moller's Skycar has been 2 years away from completed testing for the past 10+ years and has been in development for somewhere around 40 years. If any aircraft deserves to be on the list, it's that one.
Learn to love Alaska
Many, many billions were thrown at this when Reagan was still in the White House (this was affectionately referred to as "Star Wars" in the press since security was going to be provided by a bunch of satellites that could shoot down incoming missiles).
Over the years, the focus has moved from a space based platform to land based, and they still pour billions into the project. It still not ready to deter an attack, even one consisting of a single missile.
Evolution is defined as unguided. The above is a description of Intelligent Design, not evolution. The player is essentially the god of a universe built via Theistic Evolution...
Why are you using the term "theistic evolution" after having redefined evolution to be exclusive of theistic influence? Your argument has just been made to fall flat on its face by your own use of the adjective "theistic" to describe a form of "evolution" in what would be an oxymoron under your terms.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with describing Spore as a game about evolution once you accept that evolution guided by an intelligent force is still a form of evolution, as you just have by the use of that term.
(Also, most supporters of the theory called "Intelligent Design" and packaged to schools as an alternative to the teaching of evolution reject the possibility of theistic evolution as well as that of nontheistic evolution, even though theistic evolution would be a perfectly valid form of intelligent design as the term would seem to be defined at face value.)
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
Personally, I think Tivo should be given a special award. Not only have they not produced TivoToGo for the Mac, but a volunteer group has actually produced their own version of the software (TiVo Decode) while waiting for the official Tivo version.
:-)
Worse, those new HiDef Tivos don't even support TivoToGo for Windows - so they've actually managed to go backwards in the past year.
Me, bitter? Nah...
I swear that took a few seconds to process that it's a joke about the iPod vs. meaning something else...
How about the final spec for 802.11n, the blazing-fast new Wi-Fi? While many hoped to see it finalized this year, the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers has been saying not to expect anything until January 2007. No false promises, no Vaporware Award.
Then about Duke: The company still has a message on its website saying that the game will be released "when it's done."
It doesn't sound like they're promising anything to me, so it shouldn't be on the list.
... and now, just yawn one more time!
The Sagrada Familia was started by Gaudi in 1880 and was finished in ... oh wait, they're still building it.
[Insert pithy quote here]
I wonder if the "winners" get a nice award plaque sent to them? Or maybe they're just told it's on its way...
http://www.graphsim.com/ - still put-putting along...
What if it is sentient shit ?
Where's Perl 6?
Oh yeah? It doesn't work, huh? Why would Bush thank Rumsfeld for the success of a working missle defense shield in Rumsfeld's farewell ceremony? Why say that if it isn't true? His exact quote is "...took ballistic missile defense from theory to reality". How can it be vapor ware if it is a reality now? Why do you hate America? Are you trying to embolden our enemies? Because this missle defense shield scares the crap out of our enemies, and telling them it doesn't exist is dangerous and irresponsible.
w ww.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2006/12/20061218-7 .html+transcript+rumsfeld+ceremony+bush+%22missile +defense%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1&client=firefo x-a/
http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:uDkHgVZTU8sJ:
Because terms are qualified to create new terms - often opposed in meaning to the original word. The unqualified word "evolution" usually refers to a mix of natural selection and macro evolution - with perhaps some origin of life thrown in. But throughout secular textbooks, the unqualified term is carefully explained to mean "without design or guidance".
There are at least three qualified variations on "evolution":
- micro evolution - Natural Selection, which selects or mixes optimal traits from preexisting genetic material.
- macro evolution - creation of new genetic material by an unguided process of random mutations and Natural Selection.
- theistic or guided evolution - creation of new genetic material by a carefully designed process of random mutations and Natural Selection. This is what is used in "genetic algorithms" or "evolutionary algorithms", for instance. Some genetic algorithms are pure Natural Selection (all traits are designed beforehand).
"Macro evolution" is the only kind subject to any controversy, since it has not been directly observed.(Also, most supporters of the theory called "Intelligent Design" and packaged to schools as an alternative to the teaching of evolution reject the possibility of theistic evolution as well as that of nontheistic evolution, even though theistic evolution would be a perfectly valid form of intelligent design as the term would seem to be defined at face value.)
You are absolutely correct. Guided evolution is perfectly compatible with Intelligent Design theory. Theists object to theistic evolution on (somewhat shaky) moral grounds - a god that creates via a process as apparently harsh and cruel as evolution seems somehow abhorrent (although you could say it is "worth it all in the end"). Also, secularist object to theistic evolution on "materialist" grounds - "The Universe is All There Is". But, again, I agree, it is a Really Bad Move for Intelligent Design supporters to reject the possibility of guided evolution. Note that this is not across the board. Michael Behe, for instance, in "Darwin's Black Box" suggests a "big bang of life" (all genetic material designed and put mostly dormant in a single super cell) followed by Natural Selection (species evolve by activating, deactivating, and discarding material).
Note that the Catholic / Protestant split essentially began over the unqualified use of the word "faith". Did "Sola Fide" mean "Sola Fide Informis" (as the Catholic Hierachy thought), or "Sola Fide Formata" (as Luther apparently intended). There are way too many conflicts rooted in ambiguities of language combined with a lack of charity.
Who didn't see this one coming? A plane that is only a viable solution for no more than a handfull of routes worldwide, and based on the now long-dead "Mega-Hub" system (which has since given way to the "micro-hub" system). Now couple that with the fact that it requires a specialized jetway to accomidate for the double-decker seating arrangement. Finally, add to that that the last real-life emergency exit test couldn't break 45 minutes for getting everyone out of the plane... the FAA requires 5 minutes; even the 747-400 can pull that off.
Here's the funniest part. Boeing decided to play it safe for a while, and then later announced a redesign of the 747, stretching the double-decker section to about half to 2/3rds the way down the plane, surpassing the capacity of the A380 with an already tried-and-true airframe design. Since then (something like 8 months ago), I've heard that many of the A380 orders have been canceled and shifted to Boeing's design. In the mean-time, Boeing creates one of the most revolutionary mid-large sized jets (the Dreamliner), which is proving to be a huge success (order-wise).
Airbus, your days are numbered, you've screwed up BIG TIME, and I mean "PlayStation 3" BIG TIME.
Multiplayer Gaming (defined): Sitting around, discussing single-player games with my friends, at the bar.
But that doesn't make as interesting a story, I guess. You'd think this was a simple mistake except it's so easy to fact-check.
What's happening in July 2007 is they're supposed to start mass production of the tubes. But you won't be able to buy one until next Christmas. You can probably see some on display at the Peking Olympics. That is unless a lawsuit against Canon stops the production lines.
Anyway, for those new to SED, it's an array of pixels, each with its own "CRT" in it - an inkjet-printed emitter striking a phosphor. Contrast ratios are expected to start at 5X the best LCD sets and go up from there.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
Its not vaporware.
...
It currently being SHIPPED (ie actually available) with the Nokia N80 on the UKs 3 network. Its part of a package called "X-Series" that includes
- Skype
- Mobilcast
- SlingPlayerMobile
- Yahoo GO!
- 3MobileMail
So, it'd be real nice if those guys at Wired could actually check their facts before they spout a load o' rubbish. If I remember right, 3 are also including a data plan that allows voip (most other UK carriers that have "unlimited" data plans specifically exclude voip).
Of course, you guys in the US will have the handsets locked down tighter than a tight thing at a tight things convention
Well, technically it's assembled there but one of the issues with building the thing is that the building work has to be shared between various countries to keep governments happy.
It would be like US government deciding to build a new office building and allowing each state to build a floor to be shipped and assembled in DC.
It is entertaining though to see a wing being driven through a small town. Probably not the most efficient approach though.
-- Using the preview button since 2005
How long have we been waiting for this?
Still hoping for the Optimus-103 Keyboard!
It would be interesting to know how a Jumbo jet is built, most likely it is not done in one US state only.
IANAL but write like a drunk one.