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10th Annual Wacky Warning Labels Out
autophile writes "It's official: M-Law's 10th Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest is over. First prize has gone to a washing machine label urging not to put people in washers. Started to promote awareness of excessive litigation, the contest highlights common sense warning labels, such as the one that warns not to dry cellphones in microwave ovens. Companies find it necessary to stick crazy warnings on their products because of previous insane lawsuits: 'A front loader (washing machine) is just at the right height — speaking now as a mother and not a corporate spokeswoman — for a four-year-old,' said Patti Andresen Shew of Alliance Laundry Systems. Personally, I think a four-year-old precocious enough to read and understand all the warning labels hidden all over a product probably doesn't need those labels."
The labels are pretty rediculous but they are for the parents not the kids. Nobody thinks a 4 year old is going to read the labels and to make it sounds like thats what the company thinks is going to happen is silly. You don't need to be deceptive to make your point that the label to not put people in the washer is silly.
unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep
Although a few libertarian Slashdotters seem to want Social Darwinism.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
Slashdot: Remove Intellect Before Posting
Oblig. bash.org quote:
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
My first bike (a ten year old Honda CM400T) had the warning, prominently placed on the tank, not to engage the steering lock while you're riding it.
The steering lock itself was located to the left and below the trunk bundle of wires going to the front panel and instrumentation, and needed the key that presumably is in the ignition (or you would not be driving it) or the backup key. Fair enough.
But the steering lock would only engage when the front wheel was engaged fully in one direction or the other. Which was a seriously tight turning radius. If you are able to actually keep your balance and keep the bike moving while gong full tilt to the right, and at the same time find and push-twist the key sitting under a bundle of cables below your line of sight and to the left then you do not need a warning label - you need a contract to perform at a motor circus, as you have just found your true calling.
Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
stupid people + clever lawyers = trouble
Should there be warning labels? Of course.
Should there be warning labels as a replacement for a basic level of education? Of course not.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is usually crucified.
Many crowbars today are printed with the warning label: "Do not use to pry."
Don't have children if you are not prepared to be responsible for them for a couple of decades.
My current sig line came from one of these I read a couple of years ago. It was a label for a holiday light set.
I also wanted to submit one I saw on an Arm & Hammer box of cat litter that said: "This product safe for use around animals". One would hope so!
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
I follow the rules and I still dont win, wtf?
Caution:
Junk food may make you fat.
The law generally is that the company must warn against unintended uses that a reasonable person would forsee. The problem is the reasonable person standard is determined by a jury. If juries would stop awarding such verdicts, then lawyers would stop suing. As long as juries continue to say a reasonable person would forsee someone putting a wet cell phone in a microwave, lawyers will continue to file suit. Talking to one juror about a malpractice case, they said they really didn't see that the doctor was negligent, but the plaintiff was suffering, the insurance was the only one who was going to pay, the insurance company had money, so why not give the plaintiff $400,000? The thing they didn't see (other than their conduct being against the law) was that everyone pays increased medical costs to cover the increase in malpractice insurance that the doctor must pay. If jurors were more responsible and more intelligent as to the consequences of their actions, the legal culture would have to change. Don't expect the lawyers to change the system, they have too much of a vested interest, and they are legally bound to look after their client's best interests within the law. People need to change the system.
http://bgcommonsense.blogspot.com
"Jeez, Cletus, look at this here warning label - 'do not iron clothes whilst being worn'. Just as well that was there or I'd have gone done that..."
About twenty years ago, I bought an electric pencil sharpener for my office. It came with a set of safety warnings, prominently including "Do not attempt to sharpen ball-point pens." My thought at the time was that someone stupid enough to do that most likely had a problem that wasn't going to be solved by reading warning labels.
How is excess litigation better than common sense and lower priced goods that do not include the cost of previous frivolous damage awards passed on to the consumer?
When I was about 4 or 5, my older brother and sister (about 10 years older) used to take turns hiding me someplace in the house while the other would look for me. One of them put me in the washing machine once, and my mother found me in there. She wasn't too happy.
I bought a cheap, full-suspension mountain bike a few years back, and in the accompanying manual, it stated, "This bicycle is not intended for off-road purposes". So...what was it that I bought??
I'm talking mostly about the litigation, which is the fake "problem" this and the fucking stupid Stella Awards are trying to "solve". Now there are problems with the court system but the problems which cause the Stella Awards cases are much less important than the fact that the actual problems with McDonalds coffee which have caused third-degree burns to the people who tried to drink them are all shuffled away with out-of-court settlements.
Why do we only hear about the cases stupidly decided in favor of the plantiff? Hearing about the cases stupidly decided in favor of the defendant doesn't help the case of the people supporting corporacracy and Social Darwinism, that's why. McDonalds and the corporate media only want a lawsuit shown in the media if it's like the Stella case where the plantiff did something stupid. How else can they convince the common man to want a more corporate court, working against their interests?
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
Before you think how these warning labels - such as "Do not use iron on clothes you are wearing", a couple of years ago, a Slashdotter admitted to have burned himself while ironing the shirt he was wearing.
My favorite warning label is on a set of fairy lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
Yes, that is a rehtorical question because if you read /. you know why.
The real question is, how would an average person know? Most look like they are made of plastic which is of course microwave safe. If you've immersed your phone, drying it out with heat can fix it. (I know, I baked a friend phone in my oven at 150 degrees to bring it back to life.)
So no, I don't think we need labels, there are so many they aren't read anyhow.
How can we make it obvious that this is a bad idea? Or better yet, how can we make it possible that no damage will occur to either device then this happens?
This is one of the challenges that engineers face. How do you make your products work well, be bulletproof, be easy to use, do what the customer needs doing, and yet not cost a fortune.
The Beagle Bros. diskette labels
An under-evolved hairless ape recently put an infant in the clothes dryer in Sydney because he thought it would be fun for the child. It may have been for the few seconds before the 3rd degree burns started developing. This kind of cretin is the reason for this kind of warning.
!sig
...thats a modified punch line used by employees of a big outsourcing co.
another interesting one on an electric cutter
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
Eclipse PDE and Me
I'm glad you brought up the hot coffee suit. I have something you'll need to agree to. A plaintiff sued McDonald's for selling him a milkshake, which he placed between his legs while driving (sound familiar?) Because of this, he temporarialy lost his ability to drive (so he testifies) and crashed his car, causing injuries and costs to the plaintiff. Now, he never won the case, but it seems to me anyone who is in beleif of hot coffee lady needs to write that judge RIGHT NOW and explain their absolute disappointment with him for not awarding several million dollars to the plaintiff for his injuries.
After all, the situation is identical to hot coffee lady, except this time the drink is too cold.
s/lower priced/dangerous/
That's how. Think asbestos and tobacco being sold as recommended by doctors. (Yes, that second one really happened--there used to be cigarette commercials saying "4 out of 5 doctors recommend [brand] cigarettes")
I guess you want anybody who doesn't research every single fucking product they buy for seven years to die.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
AFAIK, it's not really possible, as the oven will induce currents in the circuitry and fry it. Like what happens when you put something metallic inside.
The do not iron warning on the lottery ticket makes a lot of sense. How many people (outside of computer geeks) really know that most lottery tickets are printed on thermal paper? Get that warm and all of a sudden you have a black ticket that's pretty much ruined. Combine that with the fact that some people like to iron their crumpled up money and I can totally see how some people might need this warning.
The warning on the lotto ticket is there because the tickets are printed on thermal printers using thermal paper.
If one were to iron the ticket it would become completely black. The printer only turns selected parts (the letters) black. The label probably should contain a warning not to leave in the sun as well.
The legal purpose probably is there so no one can claim a winning ticket after they left it in their shirt pocket and had the shirt ironed.
First prize has gone to a washing machine label urging not to put people in washers.
Seriously, they need a label not to put babies into a microwave oven. There were several reports last year of babies dying from mysterious internal burns because their mothers put them in the microwave on high. I don't think the mothers mistaken their baby for a coffee cup.
Yes, that is a rehtorical question because if you read /. you know why.
I've learned many things on slashdot. That is not one of them.
The real question is, how would an average person know? Most look like they are made of plastic which is of course microwave safe.
If the average person doesn't know that pretty much every electronic device contains metals, then he's even dumber than I thought.
How can we make it obvious that this is a bad idea? Or better yet, how can we make it possible that no damage will occur to either device then this happens?
While you're in the business of pandering to morons, why don't you figure out how to make gasoline that doesn't burn, knives that don't cut, etc? Or maybe, just maybe, we should assume that the average person isn't a complete dumbass, eh?
How do you make your products work well, be bulletproof, be easy to use, do what the customer needs doing, and yet not cost a fortune.
The phrase you're looking for is "idiot-proof", however I grant you that bulletproof is synonymous with that a lot more often than one might expect.
Oh no... it's the future.
This isn't your usual warning label on a pair of jeans.
Open Source Time and Attendance, Job Costing a
A few years ago, I bought a packet of peanuts. As I had to watch my fat and salt levels I was looking over the packaging for the nutritional information, when I found Warning: Contains peanuts. Um, like the fact that it says peanuts on the front of the packet isn't enough of a clue for someone with a peanut allergy?
I've got a fever and the only prescription is more COBOL.
McDonalds coffee has caused people who tried to drink it to get third-degree burns on their mouth and stomach. The Stella Awards site gives some bullshit about how that's how hot you're supposed to have it, which is bullshit unless you're Starbucks and you need to have all your coffee tasting like shit instead of only some of it, but even Starbucks lets it cool down for a bit before giving you coffee hot enough to hospitalize you. I think that lawsuits like that should have a certain amount given to the defendant and then a punitive amount funneled into the government so that the companies will have an incentive to actually do things the fucking right way.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
Bravo! While I personally fear that someone is going to trip on the stairs in my house and sue me -- it happens, some people are jerks -- I'm not blind to the fact that corporate interests have a vested interest in demonizing personal injury attorneys. What are the potential avenues for justice when a large, powerful, and well-funded entity (corporation, government, or whatever) actually injures you in some way?
1. The NRA claims that just having a handgun in your house is going to protect you. But, try and "overthrow the tyranny of McDonalds" and you'll quickly see where you stand in the eyes of the law.
2. You can write to your congressperson -- who was elected with contributions from those corporations and works for the government -- and try and get a law passed. Good luck with that.
3. or, you can try to sue for redress in civil court.
They are three pretty sucky options but #3 is the way our system works.
What these warning labels display is not a legal system run amok but a severe case of corporate Cover My Ass syndrome that also happens to serve the corporate interest in making people believe that personal injury attorneys are the problem.
Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
these warnings.
I think we can keep recursing like this until someone returns 1
Yep, the Stella Awards people have been backpedalling: http://www.stellaawards.com/stella.html lays out some of the facts ... then in order to justify the continued use of their cheeky eponym, they throw out some of their own justifications afterward. It's still slanted (basically says nothing about McD's conduct that lead to the high punitive damages), but not quite as egregiously now.
Done with slashdot, done with nerds, getting a life.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
Bash said it best http://bash.org/?4753 :)
Personally, I think a four-year-old precocious enough to read and understand all the warning labels hidden all over a product probably doesn't need those labels
Um, when I was nine years old and my brother was at the tender age of seven, we dared each other to sit in a moving dryer. First it was my turn to go in. My brother closed the door (as per agreement) and started a cycle for about 5 seconds. Then it was my brothers turn to go in the dryer, which he did. He tumbled in there for substantially longer, about 20-30 seconds, screaming all the way (and I can only imagine the evil grin I had on my face). It was a while before he trusted me again.
Then there was the time I zipped him up in a suitcase. Ah, them the days.
SEO Copywriter. Just Say ON
If the manufacturers were smart, the warning label would read -WARNING -do not use this product for anything, and please leave it in it's original packaging.
That way anything that the buyer does is their own fault.
..........FULL STOP.
I'm glad you brought up the hot coffee suit. I have something you'll need to agree to. A plaintiff sued McDonald's for selling him a milkshake, which he placed between his legs while driving (sound familiar?) Because of this, he temporarialy lost his ability to drive (so he testifies) and crashed his car, causing injuries and costs to the plaintiff. Now, he never won the case, but it seems to me anyone who is in beleif of hot coffee lady needs to write that judge RIGHT NOW and explain their absolute disappointment with him for not awarding several million dollars to the plaintiff for his injuries.
After all, the situation is identical to hot coffee lady, except this time the drink is too cold.
Hardly. The plaintiff was not driving, nor was the car moving when she got burned. She held the cup between her legs and was opening it to put in sweetener when it spilled.
McDonald's had reports of injuries before this event; they even knew it was being served too hot to be consumed. McD's refuised to settle, and eventually lost to the tune of $500,000 - then they settled.
This case is not, despite the FUD, a stellar example of lawsuit abuse; rather it highlights what the court system should do - hold people accountable on both sides. (The award was reduced 20% due to the plaintiffs actions being viewed as partly responsible)
I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
Ah, but the one on the lotto ticket actually makes sense. The ticket is printed on thermo paper -- so if you ironed it, it would turn all black and become unreadable. This may not be immediately obvious to the general public (which may not be familiar with the details of modern printing technologies.) Of course, were the ticket crumpled up enough to warrant ironing, you probably wouldn't be able to read the warning label either.
felix.
It should have read something along the lines of "Warning: A Child recently died after climbing into this hole".
what was it that I bought??
You bought a cheap bike for an activity that would need good, heavy-duty gear (i.e., not cheap)
"When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
Of course it isn't possible. That isn't the point.
How do we make my Mom for example, know that that this isn't safe?
A label won't cut it.
When I was working as an auto technician I found the following warning on the package of a Goodyear fanbelt. "Do not install belt while engine is running". My second favorite was a coffee pot I owned which had the following warning printed on the glass carafe. "Do no use as a weapon".
...but it is the funniest one ever.
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
Parent has a good point.
The most extreme example I've seen is a box of Q-tips. So far, most of the labels menioned have been to prevent stupid use of a product. In this case, the manufacturer puts on a label to allegedly prevent the intended use.
Everybody knows what Q-tips are used for: to clean the ear canal. They were designed for that. Yet the box currently has a warning in bold block letters: DO NOT USE SWAB IN EAR CANAL. The label also lists - with pictures! - all the things that their lawers think they should be used for: removing makeup, cleaning your keyboard, etc.
This is all done just to protect themselves from lawsuits.
Maybe there should some sort of rule against submitting links to sites run be people who don't understand the concept of thumbnails and providing a link to the larger version of the image. I'm talking about this page http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/photos.html
Warning: from this year forward there will no longer be public subsidization of the results of your libido. No more tax exemptions for children. $9000 will be added to your tax bill for each child you have from next year forward to cover public education expenses. If you want them educated somewhere else, provide receipts for deduction up to $9000 maximum per child. Uncompensated instructors (home schoolers) will be compensated at a rate of current federal minimum wage divided by 25 (for theoretical average public class size) times 5.5 hours (school day) x 180 days schooling, currently $204 per child per year. Note: uncompensated instructors claiming the $204 per child will be subject to 15% self-empoyment taxes. Fees will be subject to increases each year to keep up with cost of education, and will be added until such child reaches 18 years old. If you can't keep your kids in school 'til they're 18, consider the tax a parental penalty for truancy.
Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
Perhaps some of the labels aren't for real, it's just lawyers trolling.
There's an urban legend of a Superman costume with the lable "Warning, does not enable user to fly." If I was on the legal team of a company, I'd have great fun tacking on nonsense warnings like this. It would be kind've the legal equivalent of an Easter Egg.
They might not know it, but if they don't, they have to educate themselves before they do something. Microwave ovens are marketed as "for heating food". If they go with "I just try it" ( = experiment ), they have to live with the negative consequences, if they are any.
Perhaps they meant "Do not use to be nosey", as in "Me and my crowbar Guido would likes to know when yous'll be giving Mr. Angelino his money back.".
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Well, Suzuki markets the R-1000 with "own the racetrack". But they refuse any warranty if you indeed use it on for racing. KTM also refuses any warranty if you use their competition-ready enduros (and they are) in competition.
http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename =liquor-head.jpg&category=Engrish%20from%20Other%2 0Countries&date=2006-12-12
In GOD we trust, all others we monitor.
> Anyone who needs a warning label to tell them not to go into a washing machine and turn it on deserves to be removed from the gene pool for gross stupidity.
Yes, how about doing something PRACTICAL to solve the problem, like, say, putting a LOCK on the machine. Of course it should open from the inside without a key.
The problem in America is that the plaintiff is awarded what the respondent able to pay. In Sweden there are almost the same possibilities to sue as in the US, but practically no lawsuits of "I burnt my self on Mc Donald's coffee, they must pay me $$$$$" because the courts only award whats the injury is supposed to be worth, in a by law established way. In this reasoning a burning your self on a cup of coffee is probably worth $2 or $3, but not more. Law suite problem gone!
- Spinning is fun
- The washing machine spins
- I should go for a ride.
So they set the dial, climb in and close the lid. Within seconds the G-forces are so intense they can't move their arms to open the lid. Seconds later they can't breathe. Seconds after that the blood is forced out of their brain and they're unconscious. This is an incredible blessing because in less than a minute the skin on their back has ruptured and all the blood and bile and lymph is being flung out of their bodies and pumped away by the washer. The sixty pound unbalanced load is chump change compared to the hundred and sixty pounds of water a washer usually has to spin out. And those sixty pound boys, he told me, get spun down to about thirty pounds of bones and mush.18 G's is fatal. Washers subject their load to several minutes G's forces comparable to driving into a concrete wall at 100MPH. So yeah, a little label reminding the grownups that a washing machine will kill the shit out of anything or anybody put in it is a bad idea.
This is not my sandwich.
And now nobody can buy hot coffee! Aren't you glad we have an army of lawyers defending us [and making themselves rich in the process]?
The underlying reason why businesses and corporations hate and despise warning labels is that they dislike the fact that they can be held liable under the law for injuries and damages NOT CAUSED BY NEGLIGENCE, but simply by putting a product out on the market.
Why is this so? Because the manufacturer of a product is in a better position than the consumer to know of its particular dangers. Therefore it is more reasonable to impose the burden of finding and correcting such dangers upon the manufacturer than imposing the burden of finding and avoiding unsafe products upon the consumer.
For every bad example of warning labels you can pull out of your hat, I can name ten good examples of warning labels that are absolutely necessary. For example, "Don't try to remove grass clogging lawn mower before turning off" and "buckle your seat belt" and "do not step on top step of ladder" and "do not use hair dryer in bathtub". These are all things that ordinary prudent people think are safe to do, but really aren't.
"Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level" seems pretty silly, but I have seen a number of people do this, seemingly unaware that gas fumes can ignite.
The whole point of allowing people to recover in strict liability for the failure to warn of a danger is that both parties are at fault, and someone has to pay for the injuries and damages. Our society has decided that it should be the corporation or business with big pockets, not the consumer. Maybe we could change this policy choice by making the State pay for all of our medical expenses instead...but of course, no one wants that. Or do they? Either way, we all pay the cost for stupid people, stupid designs, and defective products. The real question is who pays. Corporations want the consumers to pay. Consumers want anyone but them to pay. So, whats the solution? Making fun of warning labels isn't the answer.
McDonald's had reports of injuries before this event; they even knew it was being served too hot to be consumed. McD's refuised to settle, and eventually lost to the tune of $500,000 - then they settled.
;-]
Indeed. And a number of articles on the case have pointed out that McDonald's also served hot chocolate at the same scalding temperature as their coffee. Hot chocolate is mostly drunk by children. McDonald's management knew this, had reports of injuries from both the coffee and the hot chocolate, but failed to lower the temperature. Endangering children like this is a level of irresponsibility that's a bit much for even the most rabid Social Darwinists.
Also, followups have pointed out that the lawsuit had the desired effect. McDonald's lowered their serving temperature for both coffee and hot chocolate to a more reasonable 140F (60C).
Another footnote was that most of the settlement went to pay the victim's lawyers; she reportedly got less money than her hospital bills.
[I tried to get a degree symbol into those temperatures, but none of the standard HTML "entity" encodings worked.
Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
My second favourite warning label that I've seen is on the fire starting logs you can buy at the local grocery store - the front says "Start fires easily! Burns fast and clean!", and the back says "Warning: Contents are flammable". Well I should certainly HOPE so!
The absolute best I've seen though, in the same store even, was something I deeply regret not buying and taking home to show people as proof right then. It was the store's brand of peanut-brittle (a candy made mostly of peanuts) and the warning label said "Warning: MAY contain peanuts" (You mean they're not SURE? I think they need to re-check their manufacturing process if they think there's a chance that there might not be peanuts in the peanut brittle.) Sadly, that one went off the shelves a week later and hasn't been back since...
And we talked about warning labels at one point because some of the ones on his products are so silly. For example, "Do not rest top of ladder against power line(s)."
He was telling me that within a few years, nobody will be manufacturing ladders in the United States anymore, and it will become impossible to buy a ladder. The reason? There are so many frivolous lawsuits against manufacturers, distributors and retailers of ladders that the cost of defending them and/or insurance against claims will make it a money losing proposition.
... intended for Indoor or Outdoor use only.
That plainly means that the lights must be indoors only, or outdoors only. Stringing them through a doorway so that they are both indoors and outdoors is dangerous. The opening and closing of the door may cause the wiring to fray, leading to possible fire or electrocution hazard.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
My favorite label warns about the following;
A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play.
I'm not sure how they arrived at this translation from Japanese, but there it is.
Ian Ameline
You seem to be misusing the term "Social Darwinism".
... still waiting for this free-as-in-beer free beer I keep hearing about.
Not so ridiculous as you might think:
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has received reports of numerous suffocation deaths involving children who crawled inside latch type freezers, clothes dryers, combination washer/dryer units, picnic coolers, iceboxes in campers, and old-style latch type refrigerators. Most of the victims were 4 to 7 years old. In all cases, the doors could not be easily pushed open from the inside. In some of the incidents associated with clothes dryers, the appliance was accidentally turned on while the child was inside.
Frequently, the children were playing "hide-and-seek" and the appliance or chest provided a deceptively good place to hide. When the door slammed shut, the tight fitting gasket on most of the appliances cut off air to the child. This, along with the insulated construction of the appliance, also prevented the child's screams from being heard. But abandoned appliances are not the only items involved with accidents like these. Entrapment deaths have been reported in products in use or stored in the kitchen, laundry room, basement, or garage. Deaths also have occurred in iceboxes located in campers parked outside the home. Preventing Large Appliance Entrapment Deaths to Children
We probably don't. Seriously.
If you brought in somebody from the middle ages into modern society, they probably wouldn't know things like that touching bare wires, or rapidly spinning things inside a running car is a seriously bad idea. But we don't have a warning on every outlet, do we?
While stuff like that is new, it's a bit confusing. But these days everybody knows that sticking a fork into an outlet is a seriously bad idea. Same thing with cell phones, it's not exactly obvious, but it will soon become common knowledge.
As warning labels and tort law evolve together, they gradually converge on a single unified warning label:
Do not use indoors. Do not use outdoors. Do not use this product for any purpose. Do not buy this product. Do not read this label.
On a more serious note, the current silliness over warning labels is a side-effect of the recent switch from buyer-beware to seller-beware. As a result, it becomes less and less profitable to produce anything, and more and more profitable to be dangerously stupid.
FATMOUSE + YOU = FATMOUSE
Now I want to dig through my boxes for some old 5.25" floppies and play ring toss. Wait a minute... I know I had an 8" floppy somewhere.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Sad but true. Check out this ad.
"More doctors smoke camels than any other cigarette..."
No people in washing machines? So no one has seen that one episode of Family Guy where Peter rides in one?
Of course. But this is about warranty, they don't say that their gear is actually not fit for the purpose, which is what the mountain bike manufacturer seemed to express.
"When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
Do not taunt HappyFunBall
... still waiting for this free-as-in-beer free beer I keep hearing about.
if you were being honest with yourself, you bought a bike that at a distance would impress any girl who saw you riding it on the street.
otherwise, as W.C. Fields would have said, there is a sucker born every minute.
There's an info-mercial for a chicken roaster where the guy repeatedly says "just set it... and FORGET IT!!!" He has the audience repeat it for the mic over and over, too.
I have a picture of one of those units in the store, with a big label on the front that says "Don't take 'set it and forget it' literally."
Oh, you're not stuck, you're just unable to let go of the onion rings.
Combine that with the fact that some people like to iron their crumpled up money
I think we've identified the problem, Houston.
Seriously, what the sweet christ are people ironing PAPER PRODUCTS for? Sounds like a great way to start fires.
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
"So...what was it that I bought??"
d ex.html
You bought a cheap, pretend mountain bike. A toy. Suitable for riding short distances on the bike path, or getting you into the Darwin Awards list, should you actually attempt to ride it down a mountainside.
If you want a mountain bike, that you can actually, well, ride down a mountain you need something more durable.
http://www.konaworld.com/bikes/2k7/STABSUPREME/in
If you know how to ride, that will get you down the mountain without disintegrating or killing you. Please note that this is actually designed so you can ride a steep slope, that the geometry is entirely unsuitable (and painful) for riding on a bike path or even as an off-road cross-country bike on level ground.
--
BMO
While McDonald's and Starbucks can afford to make the effort to find the perfect temperature at which to sell their hot beverages, it's a sad sad life if the only hot liquids you place in your mouth come from a fast food corporation.
From the first sips of hot home-made tea I took in my life my mother taught me to be careful and check the temperature least I burn my tongue or mouth. I never attempted to chug down hot coffee like it was coke... the only way I can think of to get third degree burns in the stomach.
The ability to sue is a poor replacement to knowing how to get around in life.
As a Slashdot discussion grows longer, the probability of an analogy involving cars approaches one.
Some nice instructions labels:
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
> Seriously, what the sweet christ are people ironing PAPER PRODUCTS for? Sounds like a great way to start fires.
Most irons transfer heat via steam. Try lighting a glass of water on fire, and you'll see that this isn't as hazardous as you would guess. It is a waste of time, though.
My other car is first.
Ever wonder why old man Rockefeller sold his product as "Standard Oil?" Ever wonder why after the break-up of the trust, his operating companies prospered and the small independents died?
To the customer, "Standard Oil" meant that, for the first time, you could light a lamp or a stove or fire up a two-stroke engine without fear: a formulation that was consistent, predictable and safe under ordinary handling.
More accurately:
Remove Intellect Before Reading
...Of when I was a kid, playing hide and go seek. One of my favourite spots was in the freezer.
Did your mother serve tea in tightly sealed insulated foam cups? To guests at temperatures that could send them to burn ward?
Copied from news:rec.humor.funny.reruns
From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Visit http://www.netfunny.com/rhf to browse the RHF pages and archives on the web.
WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.
PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
(The above is from Volume 36, Number 1 of The Journal of Irreproducible Results. Copyright 1991 Blackwell Scientific Publications Inc. 3 Cambridge Center, Cambridge MA 02141 Individual US Subscriptions $12.00 Reproduced with permission.)
This is not the sig you're looking for.
The True Stella Awards (the site you linked to) is an e-mail newsletter run by one person, the same guy who does This is True. It isn't the originator of the term, and the site has always had that page up since launch. I'm not exactly sure what backpedalling has supposed to have taken place here. If you wish to criticise the True Stella Awards, why not discuss one of the cases featured in the newsletter itself?
I'm scared of numbers that can't be written as a fraction. It's an irrational fear.
Simple, place a "Do not put objects made of or containing metal in microwave" on the microwave door and your covered.
ERROR: SIG NOT FOUND (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail?:
I guess all you have to do to win is send in a blurry scan of some kind of warning label. Did anyone actually look at the labels? You can't even read them.
-JWR
Try lighting a glass of water on fire, and you'll see that this isn't as hazardous as you would guess
Glass isn't known for it's flammability, so I can see how it may be hard to ignite, water or no. If, however, by glass you mean paper cup, then yes, you can light it on fire. If you light the top that can burn down to the water line(more or less). Contrary to what I have heard people say, and the reason I first tried this, you can in fact burn a whole in the bottom of a paper cup. The fire won't stay long due to the torrent of water that spills out of said whole, but it will burn long enough to ruin your nice disposable cup.
Unfortunately, someone else came past and turned the oven on to heat it up for some other reason. The resulting Blackberry was quite melted by the time he brought it in for us to replace it, and he was quite embarassed about it. To his credit, he'd thought to remove the SIM card, so we were able to at least plug that into a new one.
is my favorite serious warning.
As for silly. $2.99 Harbor Freight multimeter label warns, "Always wear ANSI approved safety goggles during use."
Also cautions, "screw removal by qualified persons only".
Do not look into LASER with remaining eye!
I said, HOW DO YOU CLEAN YEARS? Hello? Can you hear me?
Seriously though, how?
(This caught the lameness filter because "Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING." But that's what i meant to do. Duh.)
Also, followups have pointed out that the lawsuit had the desired effect. McDonald's lowered their serving temperature for both coffee and hot chocolate to a more reasonable 140F (60C).
Which probably pissed off a lot of people that used to get whereever they were going while it was still hot, but instead now got a lukewarm cup when they arrive. One thing is if you're in a restaurant, but if you're at a drive-in it doesn't take many minutes in traffic before you'd be very happy it was originally served at 80C. They should just introduce blue and red (extra hot) cups, with the red having a big clock icon, "HOT" in huge letteers and "Not for immidiate consumption" in smaller and every other warning label possible. But then again, they'd probably get sued some other way. If by "desired effect" you mean "killed a legitimate product because of PEBCAWheel", then yes.
Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
What do you expect from a limey bastard?
The root cause behind McDonald's loss was a poor legal strategy and the stupidity of the jury. McD put boring experts on the stand that put the jury to sleep. When the jury was awake they heard phrases like "statistically insignificant" and thought someone was insulting poor Stella Liebeck.
FWIW, there have been other cases similar to the McD case like McMahon vs. Bunn-O-Matic that have found for the defendants because of information like this:
(emphasis mine)
Ah, but any kid has discovered this the first time he tried to defrost a frozen candy bar. Or warm up something in aluminum. Or boil water in a metal cup. Or left his spoon in the bowl.
Duh.
I see some of these labels and just have to shake my head. Not because they are so stupid (they are) but because chances are there is at lease one person dumb enough to try what the label is warning against.
:-/
I remember my brother had this girl friend that was almost as intelligent as a hamster. She believed that if you blew up a balloon (with your breath) it would float!
Knowing that there are people like that dumbing down the gene pool makes the stupid labels sad rather than funny.
The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
You yanks need something about common sense in your laws to stop the frivillous law suits.
If someone does something stupid they should learn from it and not blame someone else for their ineptitude.
Darwin Awards http://www.darwinawards.com/
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Ben
It's naturally also a matter of paper quality. My impression was that the material for bills in most countries is frequently cotton-derived, quite dense and also lacking more volatile contaminants (high-cellulose content, suitable inks). They are, after all, washable...
Considering that the new Consumer Product Safety Commissioner just appointed by Bush & Co. was the lead lobbyist for the Manufactures of America... we may need all the help we can get.
-- I have a private email server in my basement.
Well, that might be true but it would not be true by virtue of being a libertarian. They are different concepts entirely and may not even relate to the desirable level of torts. Matter of fact, many libertarians would prefer tort action to regulation/legislation. One of the big criticisms of the EPA is that they enacted and protected permitted levels of pollution. They said, Corp X is able to pollute Citizen Y's land to a degree of Z ppm. Citizen Y was left with no legal recourse. With more education, your thinking should improve.
The NRA claims that just having a handgun in your house is going to protect you.
The NRA claims no such thing.
What part of "shall not be infringed" is so hard to understand?
I guess you want anybody who doesn't research every single fucking product they buy for seven years to die.
No, we just don't want to protect people from life itself. Kids learn that stoves are hot by burning their fingers. It's one thing to be told that the stove it hot, but if you've never experienced hot, it's just a meaningless set of words.
A few generations ago we let kids burn themselves on the stove, fall down skating and skin their knees, etc. If a certain action was too dangerous, we taught them that it was dangerous by inflicting painful corporal punishment on them. And by golly, those kids turned out all right!
Yes, some children died in years past because we didn't shelter them from the act of living. But that's been more than made up by the deaths caused by sheltered children growing up into adults with drivers licenses but no common sense.
Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
My favorite case of waky labels is for the brand of Edamame (soy bean pods) that I regularly eat. Picture a full color printed bag with the background comprised of a photo of a ton of soy beans. Under the word Edamame it says "Raw Soy Beans in Pods" the instructions lead you to either microwave them or boil them in a pot of boiling water for 7 minutes. The 2 warning labels are: "Warning will get hot when heated"!!! and "Contains Soy" Doh!
"This message was sent from an Apple
As I recall, the instruction manual that came with my microwave oven said that small amounts of metal like a handle on a dish or whatever, could be placed in it without harm. I was amazed to read that, and haven't ever take them up on it.
If you're a zombie and you know it, bite your friend!
It completely eliminates the need for people writing up the nutritional information to make judgement calls as to when they should and should not issue the warning. Otherwise, you would end up with the labellers making bad judgement calls like, for example, that there is not need to warn of the presence of peanuts in a box of nougat, because "everybody knows nougat has nuts."
Also, the nutritional information and warning text is probably required by law.
Are you adequate?
Here's an anecdote. In Australia we have a volunteer organisation that saves drowning people on beaches. One day, when there is a cyclone (hurricane) out to sea they close a beach and put signs up on every path to the beach that say the beach is closed, then they go home. A visiting CEO from the US decides to swim anyway and drowns. His family attempt to sue the volunteer organisation for an amount equal to twenty years on a ludicrous salary which is a couple of orders of magnitude more than the volunteer organisation has - even though they are large enough to patrol hundreds of beaches. The family obviously get a lot of bad press about it, never had a chance to win and there was not enough money to pay that much out even if they could win and bankrupt the organisation. Don't you have decent life insurance over there - or was the family really being as greedy as the press thought?
The point I was trying to make is that the manufacturer was able to market a product as a 'mountain bike', and then later (after purchase) DENY that the bike is a 'mountain bike'. This seems a little deceptive. Apparently, as this example shows, companies are allowed to perform this kind of advertising chicanery. So while it appears that wacky warning labels are merely intended to absolve a company from responsibility or liability, they may also be used in a more malicious, misinformative way.
From the safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket: "If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member."
On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: "Do not activate with wet hands."
In a laundry room: "Do not put wet clothes in dryers, as this can cause irreparable damage."
In a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: (This one is not really a warning sign, but perhaps it should be?) "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
In a Bangkok temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis."
On a blanket from Taiwan: "Not to be used as protection from a tornado."
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists: "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you."
On a Taiwanese shampoo: "Use repeatedly for severe damage."
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink: "After opening, keep upright."
On a New Zealand insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."
In a US guide to setting up a new computer: "To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening." (Sensible enough I guess, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids: "Lie down on bed and insert Poscool slowly up to the projected portion like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting Poscool for approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet."
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles: "Open other end."
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins: "Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?"
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions - Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: Keep out of children."
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning - Contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: "Fits one head."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
Life is wet, then you dry.
The worst burn I remember getting in my mouth was from homemade hot chocolate. I never got to sue my cousin's grandmother for it.
As a Slashdot discussion grows longer, the probability of an analogy involving cars approaches one.
Any parent of such a kid has failed their duty - it's something they should be told before they are allowed near the thing.
I am sick of people saying that public transportation is the Holy Grail of this country's transportation/pollution/whatever else problems. Here's a big secret that all these pro-public transportation people don't seem to realize:
/rant
Not every place has public transportation.
Believe it or not, people commute from small towns and small cities to bigger cities. And, believe it or not, these small towns and small cities don't always have a public transportation system that can get them from point A to point B and back again. In the town that I grew up in, the only time a bus was ever seen, other than school buses, was when a charter bus would pull off the interstate to get gas or pass through the town.
In the small city I live in now, there is a bus line for around the city, but it only goes to the college and a strip mall. There are several buses that go to the surrounding cities. However, they don't operate at the times necessary for people to get to and from work, and there are no buses that get around those cities.
There is no rail line. There are no taxis. How do people get around? Cars.
There is a bike path that stretches from the college to the strip mall area. But there is no bike path on the major streets. How are people supposed to get where they are going without spending a hour to get from one end of the city where they live to the other? Again, personal vehicles.
So, next time that you think that public transportation is the be all, end all of our transportation and pollution woes, think again. Not everyone in this country lives in a major metropolitan area with a squeaky clean public transportation system.
I don't like Linux. This doesn't make me a troll.
"Little does he know, but there is no 'I' in 'Idiot'!"
And that's how you learn, like kids are supposed to, and most of us did. The kid who never burns the roof of his mouth while young enough to have rapid cell regrowth in his mouth and sensitive pain receptors is the one who'll end up suing Taco Bell (remember, in the future, all fast food restaurants are Taco Bells) for getting a second degree burn, because he didn't test the temperature and respect the heat before drinking.
Sorry, no, I don't think protecting people from common sense is a good thing, no matter how many burns it prevents.
Ears are supposed to be self cleaning if left alone, but for some people that is not the case.
- One method is to go to a doctor, and the nurse will clean your ears out with hot soapy water.
- A better method is to find a hearing clinic that has a special machine that vacuums the wax out.
- There's also earwax dissolving drops, but I don't think they are really recommended.
The problem with trying to do anything to mechanically clean them is that you _will_ push some of the wax further in.
HAHAHAHA! Americans-crazy people!
"blind drive" Say what? In old country, we do not let blind drive!!! Why you have areas where you allow blind to drive, with big sign that tells them they can drive, when blind cannot read sign?? We don't even let blind drive camel because is stoopid!
"soft shoulder" Why is this? Cannot work, have girly man arms, leading to "soft shoulder"? In old country, we work! No wonder you need us, softies!
"keep right except to pass" Huh? Is big fat road there, drive on it! Don't need build more roads if just use roads you have! In old country, you lucky to get road not made of camel dung and mud! Not only soft shoulder, but soft minds!
"stop" Why? Need to GO. No wonder you have "energy crisis", waste time and gasoline in "stop" mode!
"squiggly" Why sign with squiggly arrow on it? Oh,. I remember, is because you LET BLIND DRIVE, they no see road is turning ahead. Oh wait, still have soft minds, blind no read signs!
"welcome! loyal order moose,elks,lions and kiwanis" No wonder all people in big city need carry gun! Protection! Cities all filled up with WILD ANIMALS! You crazy?? In old country, we build fence, keep wild animals OUT, any animal sneek inside city WE EAT! Problem Fix!
and WTF is kiwanis anyway??? You have unicorns too, hmmm? SOFT MINDS!
This one isn't a label, but I laugh every time I hear it.
:-) I guess this may qualify after all! heh
We all know those long TV commercials for pharmaceutical drugs that are constantly on and how they rattle on for about 30 seconds the side-effects and whatnot. My absolute favorite one is for a product called Lunesta. (sp?) It is some sort of sleeping aid in pill form. (sleeping pills) Anyway, one of the side-effects they rattle off is... get this... MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. A sleeping pill might make me drowsy? Go figure!
Ya know... maybe this is a label! I am guessing these side-effects must be on the bottle too, right?
"Never give up, for that is just the time and place when the tide will change." -Harriet Beecher Stowe ^_^
Starbucks now has warning labels on the toilet stall doors to avoid shifting the seat while sitting on it.
3 .htm
A Canadian man supposedly crushed his penis on a toilet seat at Starbucks when the seat shifted:
"Starbucks Sued Over Alleged Crushed Penis": http://www.gamblingmagazine.com/articles/29/29-17
Stella didn't burn her mouth or stomach. She burned her legs while holding coffee between them.
Every case is founded on some basic principles of justice. The basic principal in this case was:
When any adult engages in stupid or irresponsible behavior, then that person is 100% responsible for the outcome.
Not 90%.
Not 99%.
100%.
And, holding hot coffee between your legs is definitely stupid and irresponsible. Therefore, MacDonalds was not responsible at all.
American tort law is completely full of shit, especially the concept of "punitive damages".
Nowhere else in the world can tort lawyers become billionaires because the jury thinks the defendant needs to be "punished".
The actual label was "do not iron while wearing clothes" ...
When I bought my mixing console the manual had a warning "do not use in the bath or shower".
This is a 32x8 mixing board covered in knobs and sliders and is about 4.5 foot long, 3 foot deep and weighs a good 60 pounds.
It would take some effort just to get it into the bathroom let alone bathe with it.
My studio - www.graylands.ca
As a physician, the study stated talks about the cost of malpractice and not the cost of the extra testing that everyone does to prevent law suits.
The funniest one I've seen was from a thermometer, and it said:
"Once used rectally, do not use orally."
Sorry, humans of all ages have rapid cell regrowth in their mouths, which contain sensitive pain receptors.
(Very young children mouth everything they pick up because their mouth is more sensitive than their fingers. As they age, their fingers get more sensitive, their mouth remains the same)
Common sense says that I will get scalded if I spill hot coffee on my lap. That's a first degree burn. In the McDonalds case the coffee caused 3rd degree burns, thus defying common sense.
Common sense also says that a restaurant wouldn't be so stupid that they would sell a beverage that was so hot it could not be consumed without injury. Much like common sense would tell you that a restaurant wouldn't sell coffee made with concentrated sulphuric acid.
Make that WWI. However that may have been first marketed use.
I tried explaining it once, but the person's eyes glazed over once I hit the term 'induction.' Instead, I suggest just asking, "When you microwave bread, does it dry out or get soggy?" That has nothing to do with the real reason you shouldn't do this, but it seems to form a (incorrect) cognitive link which most people find easier to remember.
Most of these award labels were probably triggered by Darwin Award winners.
Table-ized A.I.
What McDonnalds do you go to?
I have a think the warning label on there coffee should be against the trades descriptions act as it is luke warm at best and never HOT.
God help anyone buying there tea as McDonnalds dont know how to make it (they need to use booling water not hot)
- It will reduce costs
- It will increase demand, allowing them to sell the product at a higher price, sell more of the product, or a combination.
Running the equipment at a higher temperature increases costs more, not less, so the only thing left is they think it increases demand. Now, let's put on our thinking caps and see if we can figure out why.A lot of people who buy coffee at McDonald's don't plan on drinking it in their cars. They may have a long drive to get to a cold construction site, by which time the 'scalding' coffee is merely 'hot'. If instead they served 'hot' coffee to these people, it would end up 'lukewarm' before it can be drunk. The people who need it to be hotter don't have any easy way to heat it up, but those who think it's too hot can easily cool it down by adding something cold (my mother used to put an ice cube in her coffee).
Now there's a bunch of construction workers freezing their butts off who can't even get a hot cup of joe. And who knows how many teachers can only bring Warm Chocolate to their students... Won't anyone think of the children!
[100% ISO 646 Compliant]
SVM, ERGO MONSTRO.
...found on the side of one of those mini front-end loaders, and accompanied by a crazy little graphic showing a person getting crushed by the machine:
Avoid Death
This Side Towards Enemy (on a Claymore mine)
Tech Public Policy stuff
Consider yourself lucky.
Good: large downward-sloping holes with small amounts of soft wax
Bad: tiny upward-sloping holes with large amounts of tar-like wax
Some people have self-cleaning ears. For the rest of us:
Water can help, especially if squirted in. Hydrogen peroxide is much better, though noisy!
Have a friend use a tweezers for the hard black chunks.
Then for regular cleaning, the obvious: Q-tip, pinkie finger, pencil, pen, key, scissors, paperclip, nail, screw, screwdriver, etc.
No kids? That doesn't matter, because YOU were a kid.
Oh, you got yours, and now you'd deny it to the next generation. Sweet.
Everyone from homosexuals to Catholic priests benefits from child tax credits, because everyone starts life as a child.
I remember a few years back at a friends house we got a bit lit. There was beer, wine, rum, vodka and I was mixing side cars. After a few rounds we decided it would be fun to see who could fit into the dryer. There were about 20 of us there and one by one we tried to crawled into, or tried in the case of the larger among us, the dryer.
:)
One friend of mine ripped her pants which we then duct taped up.
It really was a good party.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
A lot of these labels, sadly enough, probably come from a response of the customer service (and legal) departments. As ridiculous as it sounds, there are a lot of dumbasses out there that will try these things, and end up bitching to the customer service/legal departments of the companies. Many of these are no doubt due to addressing trends of problems with products, and not just arbitrary and tangential paranoia by legal departments. (After the fiftieth dude blew off his eyebrows from checking the fuel level in his jet ski, they decided to throw on the label, kinda thing; it probably *was* one of the greater mis-uses of the product.)
Love many, trust a few, do harm to none.
I sell lotto tickets in Australia and a customer actually did this. He came in with a black piece of paper, saying that he tried to iron his lotto ticket to flatten it out. Im actually surprised it doesn't happen more often, since crumpled up tickets are harder to put through the machine, wasting time for me AND the customer.
Seconded. I've already e-mailed these folks about this; hopefully next year they'll do some basic fact-checking before proclaiming "LOL DUM LABEL!!1". Also:
:-).
How many people (outside of computer geeks) really know that most lottery tickets are printed on thermal paper?
Lots of gas station cashiers certainly do. I know this because that's how I found this little factoid out. Also, I'm sure "printing geeks" probably know about it
This is actually a good advice, assuming it is sold in the US. Depending on how real the toy gun looks and the lighting conditions, it might be mistaken for a real gun. Nevermind that a child is holding it, with enough news about school shootings, people will believe a child can get their hands on a real gun and start shooting at random people.
So pointing your toy gun at people might get yourself shot at by someone with a real gun.
Oliver.
This warning notice appears in the instruction manual for a LCD TV (a Sony KDL40XBR2) that I bought recently.
This article--and resulting discussion--are the first I've actually heard of Lotto tickets on thermal paper. Here in New York, Lotto tickets are still run off on dot matrix printers.
A friend of mine has a little hobby of collecting and displaying warning labels on his cubicle wall at work, just a few days ago he brought one in his girlfriend gave him that has a picture of a curling iron in someones eye and a warning that says "caution, product can burn eyes"
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
Everytime we go to our favorite chinese restaurant, I burn the tip of my tongue. The tea they serve is very hot. We put ice in my daughter's cup so she can have tea without waiting 20 minutes for it to cool down. But my cup of tea is hot enough to burn my tongue. And yes, that's the way I want it. Not lukewarm. Within a few minutes of pouring, it is too cold to drink. It is probably at 120 degrees F by then (just guessing). And I pour in more hot tea.
Why is drinking hot beverages and burning the tip of your tongue such a hard concept for you guys to understand? I want my soda cold and tea hot. My tongue has always healed.
Ah, now I'm starting to understand this burning coffee case.
So, the recommended lower temperature limit is 170 degrees Fahrenheit, because it assures that the coffee is a decent temperature when it's poured into a cold cup and has cream and sugar and a spoon added.
McDonalds didn't use cold cups. They used to use styrofoam cups for coffee. Not only were those cups never cooler than room temperature, but styrofoam also insulated the coffee and kept it hot.
The people who wrote the coffee guidelines expected the coffee to cool significantly once it was served; the coffee in formal-restaurant coffee mugs isn't 170 degrees when you get it, even if it was when they made it. Styrofoam cups prevented the coffee from cooling and kept it near 170 degrees Fahrenheit even after the customer got it. This is too hot to drink, and even the people writing those coffee guidelines knew it.
There is a fine line between recklessness and courage... -- Paul McCartney
Put warning labels on the lawyers.
I still do not really get it. One can purchase several things that can seriously burn or hurt you yet we do not attempt to store it held between our legs. *That* is stupid. People complain about stove tops burning them when they touch one that is on - we do not try and have a campaign to only allow them to go to 140F (or some other temperature that will not burn you). Well tell you not to touch the hot surface.
Even lets assume it was boiling hot - so? Did the person in question know it was really hot - yes, wasn't the very first cup of coffee she had. Did the person in question choose to store it in an (unapproved) and dangerous way - yes, most of even know not to hold cold soft drinks in such a fashion, let alone something that will hurt.
We know all sorts of things on this planet are dangerous and can be not so (generally at the cost of losing a market - the temp change has really hurt McDonald's coffee sales). At some point we have to look and give some personal responsibility. Had the cup failed and spilled the coffee, had they dropped it in her lap, or it failed in what is normally safe usage I would tend to agree. However, holding a really hot cup of coffee between you legs while riding in a car isn't really "normally safe usage" - in fact it is "normally dangerous usage" and - as such, I don't care how hot the coffee was. The failure was in the storage method chosen by the woman and thus her fault.
------- Sorry about the spelling, I suffer from two problems. Dyslexia makes it difficult to spell well, lazy makes it
Usually the microwave's manual will explicitely warn you not to put metals into it, probably mentioning electronics along the way.
Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
From a set of Corelle dishes purchased back when I was in college (not sure if they still include this): "Caution: Dishes may break if dropped. If dishes break, they may make a loud noise." WTF? I have to imagine they were sued at some point for someone being startled to death by the sounds of their dishes breaking...
Maybe they import the equipment from Soviet Russia?
It's true I tell you, feller at work's next door neighbour read it in the paper.
I apologize for that; here on slashdot we mostly hear from the handgun fanboys who don't have houses or families who think that every perceived wrong can be dealt with by taking to the hills al. la. Red Dawn to defend the country from the environmentalists, Democrats, coporations, Republicans, religious fanatics, secular humanists, and ivory tower intellectuals. "NRA" was used as a short-hand for that mind-set My point was, in the context of the original point, was simply that you can't legitimately seek redress from a coporation pouring arsenic in your groundwater, for example, by storming the boardroom and shooting. You'll end up on the evening news as the crazy in the body bag and the corporation will continue to do what they were doing before.
Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
tend to be based on preventing the next fatal accident. You can imagine what accident prompted the Claymore mine warning.
Tech Public Policy stuff
Ototek loop http://www.ototekloop.com/
Essentially the same thing a doctor used on my ear once. Only costs a few bucks at Walgreens, right next to the ear wax removal drops.
And given that you haven't repeatedly gone to the hospital, it isn't that hot. You got scalded. You did not receive 3rd degree burns.
Why is the concept of minor vs. severe burns such a hard concept for you guys to understand?
Okay, but then McDonalds should've had options for its drive-through steaming-hot coffee other than "black."
The only safe places for a full cup in a car is a cupholder or your hand. This suit is old enough that's it's possible the car in question didn't have a cup-holder. The lady was trying to add creamer to her coffee; doing that with only one hand free would be almost as likely to create a burning-hot coffee spill as what she actually did. Even removing a plastic lid from a styrofoam cup isn't necessarily a one-handed operation.
Of course, I live dangerously. I've held cold soft drinks between my legs in cars, even while knowing that there is a risk of spillage or (for many cups) disintegration. There tend to be more drinks than cup-holders in the cars I travel in, and sometimes the cupholders provided are more likely to create spills than my legs are. (Admittedly, I've had practice.) I dare any of you to try to buckle a seat belt with only one hand free.
There is a fine line between recklessness and courage... -- Paul McCartney
It seems to me we could find a middle ground.
"If it's real, then it gets more interesting the closer you examine it. If it's not real, just the opposite is true." -
If I buy a cup of coffee that can immediately be consumed without injury, that coffee was not sold hot enough.
Your cousin's grandmother? Wouldn't that be the same as your grandmother?
That must explain those brown scorch marks left on shirts if you leave the iron laying on them while it's on (discounting modern models that have a time out feature).
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
Cousins usually share only one grandmother with you, unless something is really wrong with your family.
As a Slashdot discussion grows longer, the probability of an analogy involving cars approaches one.
Not everybody has the time to put in effort to make their own beverages every day.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
While your masochism is interesting, it doesn't mean that everyone's coffee should cause them severe injury.
... as the real-life events that inspired them.