Yeast-Powered Fuel Cell Feeds On Human Blood

holy_calamity writes "Canadian researchers have taken a sensible, if slightly creepy, step towards solving the problem of medical implant batteries running down. They've built a fuel cell powered by yeast that feed on the glucose in human blood. If this makes it into people, keeping your implants going will be as simple as eating a donut."

Comments

Waste

[AKAImBatman]

This is the ideal solution. Running a device off of the human metabolism is an excellent way to ensure that it functions for the life of the patient. Which is extremely important as implants are often put into older patients who may not be healthy enough for future operations. (I imagine this was the thinking behind the nuclear-battery pacemakers powered by SR-90.)

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?" And wouldn't you know it, the next section was entitled, "Waste problem". Guess they're reading my mind. :-P

For instance, to keep the yeast cells healthy, their waste products will need to be removed without allowing any harmful substances to leach out into the blood stream. "I think people will figure this out. This is a first step," he says.

I'm a bit concerned about this problem. Would this necessitate the installation of a shunt or some other extraction point for the waste? Seems like a fairly significant barrier to me. If you have to perform regular extractions (or worse, operations) is it really better than the current alternatives?

Re:Waste

[orclevegam]

The best solution is a modified yeast like bacteria that produces wastes compatible with the host. That sort of genetic engineering is still in its infancy though. My biggest concern would be more along the lines of ensuring the bacteria remain where they're supposed to be and don't decide to wander out into the rest of the patient or don't mutate into something more dangerous.

Re:Waste

[eldavojohn]

If you have to perform regular extractions (or worse, operations) is it really better than the current alternatives?

Nonsense. CADIE claims that this new technology is necessary to ensure that humans continue to have a purpose to exist past the first uprising--that alone should be merit to continue this research.

Re:Waste

[Evanisincontrol]

For instance, to keep the yeast cells healthy, their waste products will need to be removed without allowing any harmful substances to leach out into the blood stream. "I think people will figure this out. This is a first step," he says.

I'm a bit concerned about this problem. Would this necessitate the installation of a shunt or some other extraction point for the waste? Seems like a fairly significant barrier to me. If you have to perform regular extractions (or worse, operations) is it really better than the current alternatives?

Isn't the waste product of yeast alcohol? As long as the waste is a low amount, it sounds like this would have the same effect as drinking alcohol (which the body is quite capable of disposing of). If it's not a low amount... well, at least the patient dies happy!

Re:Waste

[notarockstar1979]

Would depend on the location of the device using this kind of power I would think. A small unidirectional shunt from the base of the spine to the bladder doesn't sound incredibly difficult (I am not a surgeon), but anything longer than that is something I wouldn't personally want going on in my body. What about a very tiny system modeled after what they do for people with a colostomy? There can't be that much waste, it would be something people could change out for themselves every day, and for some people (myself at least) it would be preferable to surgery.

Re:Waste

[conejo especial]

No the solution is to introduce something that consumes yeast waste. Ideally, its waste should also be an enjoyable snack for yeast cells.

Seriously though, while it seems to raise a red flag at least partway, couldn't the solution be to pair the yeast with something that produces waste is not toxic to the human system, or to use GM yeast with harmless byproducts?
Note IANA(Whatever-the-appropriate-letter-is)

Re:Waste

[nine-times]

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?" And wouldn't you know it, the next section was entitled, "Waste problem". Guess they're reading my mind. :-P

What I want to know: is there any chance that they could get the yeast to continually produce alcohol from the glucose in your blood? I want an implant that makes it so keeping me drunk will be as simple as eating a donut.

Re:Waste

[camperslo]

This is the ideal solution. Running a device off of the human metabolism is an excellent way to ensure that it functions for the life of the patient.

People will come up with many applications for this technology. Powered tracking chips for the kids could have much greater range than RFID...

I was a bit surprised to see this be real on April 1st. I was expecting something more along the lines of tech that makes the likes of Ted Stevens into biofuel. Phase II??

Re:Waste

[tsalmark]

Alcohol is a common yeast waste. So long as I'm not hit with a sin tax, I'm all for it.

Re:Waste

[interkin3tic]

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?" And wouldn't you know it, the next section was entitled, "Waste problem". Guess they're reading my mind. :-P

First they steal our glucose, then they start reading our minds, can there be any doubt that the next step for yeasts is to take over the world and enslave us all for their nefarious purposes? We must act quickly! Everyone buy up all the monistat you can!

Re:Waste

[Darth_brooks]

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?" And wouldn't you know it, the next section was entitled, "Waste problem". Guess they're reading my mind. :-P

I hardly find the waste that yeast produces when consuming glucose to be all that offensive...

(yeah, i know, there are byproducts other than tasty, tasty alcohol produced by fermentation...)

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

Shunt it to the stomach? ... AC heads off to patent a yeast/blood powered inebriation implant...*hiccup*

Re:Waste

[ArcherB]

Note IANA(Whatever-the-appropriate-letter-is)

Bio-chemi-physio-yeastisist?

Re:Waste

[Demonantis]

I thought yeast made alcohol? Which the body often metabolizes.

Re:Waste

[CAIMLAS]

But what if the person is a diabetic, or pre-diabetic, and consumes no non-organic sugars or wheat? There would be minimal sugar-yeast in their body.

Along the lines of a broader application, however, this tool could be used for broader applications - both health and otherwise. Yeast in the blood is, I believe, suspected to be contributory to various ill health symptoms, and pretty much anyone in the western world has a lot of it due to sugar intake. It'd be useful for diabetics and pre-diabetics simply to keep sugar levels down (ie if it eats yeast, it'll allow for yeast to grow more rapidly due to the disproportionate sugar/yeast ratio).

Finally, couldn't it be harnessed for other applications as well?

Re:Waste

[shadowbearer]

  Having a large portion of the human species operating at a low level of alcoholic intoxication would hardly be more damaging than what we already have ;)

SB

Re:Waste

[electricbern]

1. Use implant
2. Get drunk
3. ???
4. Profit!

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?"

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the summary was, "April fools stories again?"

Re:Waste

[Fumus]

Keep in mind that the alcohol you drink goes through your liver first. Only a small portion of the alcohol you drink actually gets into your blood stream, so even a small amount produced by the yeast cells may be dangerous.

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeast only produce alcohol when there's isn't any oxygen available.

Re:Waste

[omris]

Shenanigans.

How would it get to your liver without getting into your blood first? Alcohol is absorbed into the blood stream even through the lining of your mouth and stomach, long before most nutrients can be actively absorbed by your intestines. The liver is connected to the GI tract for secretory purposes. All filtration and metabolism functions happen on the other side, through the blood.

Re:Waste

[Ironica]

Keep in mind that the alcohol you drink goes through your liver first. Only a small portion of the alcohol you drink actually gets into your blood stream, so even a small amount produced by the yeast cells may be dangerous.

Um... how does the alcohol *get* to the liver? Do you think it jumps there directly from the intestines? ;-)

Alcohol enters the bloodstream, and then is detoxed by the liver.

Re:Waste

[Z34107]

Maybe there could be some yeast-based implant to metabolize the yest-based toxins. I'm thinking some kind of Borg-esque kind of thing.

Additionally, achievements.

Re:Waste

[Ironica]

But what if the person is a diabetic, or pre-diabetic, and consumes no non-organic sugars or wheat? There would be minimal sugar-yeast in their body.

Huh?

Are you saying that people who don't consume refined sugar or carbs don't have glucose in their bloodstream? Or that this invention would somehow rely on the body's supply of yeast to run?

We all have glucose in our blood, even diabetics. The issue for them is that the insulin system, which keeps blood glucose levels steady in spite of rapidly changing intake, isn't working properly... so they have to keep their intake of sugars and carbs low. There's still plenty of glucose.

The invention has its own yeast, it doesn't rely on the body's native yeasts.

Re:Waste

[dwiget001]

So, all they have to do then is develop a storage device for the alcohol by-product in the implant, that could then be used to power the unit if metabolism isn't up to the level necessary to fully power the device.

It could be the first Yeast/Alcohol Hybrid Implant, yeah!

Re:Waste

[PitaBred]

And then the gorillas will freeze to death?

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isnâ(TM)t that a bit short-sighted? What happens when weâ(TM)re overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. Theyâ(TM)ll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But arenâ(TM)t the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but weâ(TM)re prepared for that. Weâ(TM)ve lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then weâ(TM)re stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, thatâ(TM)s the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Re:Waste

[quangdog]

Are you saying that a large portion of the human species have medical implants? If you truly believe this, I'll give you a large portion of my M&Ms.

Re:Waste

[tsalmark]

Burning alcohol in your implants, Wouldn't that lead to heart burn?

Re:Waste

[XorNand]

Heh... My first thought was "gee, I wonder how many (kilo)calories worth of nutrients these critters can remove from my blood?" ::Pops open another can of Coke:: It would be the truly most geeky way of enhancing my Comic Book Guy physique.

Re:Waste

[Quantos]

So if you hold your breath for a loooong time?
Oh wait, just got it.

Re:Waste

[ccool]

can't... resist...

I, for one, welcome our new geneticaly engineered yeast bacteria overlords.

Re:Waste

[shadowbearer]

  No. I'm not senile. Not yet, anyway ;)

  Assuming we don't destroy our civilization first, eventually it's likely that a large portion - if not all - of the species will be 'infected' by biological nanomachinery. Think about it. If a large enough portion of the species gets nanobot implants, eventually they'll "infect" everyone. May be a good thing, maybe not...

  I don't know if you've read Varley's book Steel Beach, but if not, it's a must read when it comes to science fiction that deals with this sort of thing. Points out a lot of the downsides as well - and it's also a great read, easily the best Heinlein book I've ever read that wasn't written by Heinlein. Better, even.

  He points out that in order to survive massive amounts of pollution and disease, nanomachinery 'infecting' our bodies may be an absolute necessity for us to survive at all. I won't spoil the really nasty surprise that may await us if that happens... read the book :)

SB

Re:Waste

[Chyeld]

After all, wasn't the majority of the world slightly buzzed in the 'dark ages' due to alcoholic beverages being some of the few things that could be safely drunk without having to worry about parasites and diseases?

The Roman army used to drink a mixture of vinegar and honey called Posca to avoid problems with the local water.

Re:Waste

[shadowbearer]

  Eventually CADIE will be shortened to "CC" and we'll all forget that the Invaders destroyed our civilization...

  Ooops, sorry, wrong timeline. ;)

SB

Re:Waste

[Stile 65]

Another application: weight loss. An implant that lets donuts power your wearable computing devices instead of your gut? Sign me up.

Re:Waste

[shadowbearer]

  Only a matter of time until someone produces a biological symbiont that *absorbs* alcohol and renders it harmless before it can affect you...

SB

Re:Waste

[Hoi Polloi]

"I'm noth drunkth offizer...hic!...I'vvve goth a pacemaker...hic!"

Re:Waste

[IICV]

You can do this yourself right now, with no need for fancy-pants implants. Just drink enough badly filtered beer, and the yeast in the debris at the bottom will eventually colonize your intestines. Once they're in there, they'll ferment the simple sugars you eat, turning them into alcohol directly in your intestines.

Of course, this might kill you. But at least you'd die drunk.

Re:Waste

[Hebbinator]

Double Shenanigans. You clearly haven't heard of/ been taught the...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_pass_effect

Things from your gut flow first to the liver before entering general circulation. This helps eliminate a lot of the crap you eat/drink on a regular basis.

The hepatic portal system == blood, but != general circulation (which is where your brain would be connected.. and where alcohol would be dangerous)

so it works like this:

alcohol in your face-> small intestine -> hepatic portal system -> liver metabolism-> general circulation -> brain -> posting stupid shit on slashdot -> sense of superiority

It just so happens that much of the alcohol you drink does make it to general circulation, as the livers ability to process alcohol tops out at around 14-15g/hour.. so a lot of the alcohol you consume does make it to general circulation. If you think an implantable object (under, say, 10cm) full of yeast could make 15g of alcohol in an hour, you are being silly. Also, with time, your body would compensate and ramp up its enzymes and eliminate the alcohol faster, i.e. functioning alcoholics who can drink a fifth a night and not wobble.

TLDR: first guy is wrong because the levels of alcohol produced by a couple yeast would not make you wasted all the time, second guy is wrong because your liver gets first pick at all the poisonous crap you eat before it reaches the parts of your bloodstream where your brain is.

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?

Like.... alcohol?

Sounds like a dream come true to me. Eat a candy bar, catch a buzz. Of course that actual volume of booze would be so small you'd probably never really notice...

Re:Waste

[Athair]

I'd be more worried about it leading to sobriety.

Re:Waste

[plague3106]

Ya. God forbid you stop drinking soda.

Re:Waste

[MikeDirnt69]

1. Use implant
2. Get drunk
3. ???
4. Dude, where's my car?

Re:Waste

[Red Flayer]

Isn't the waste product of yeast alcohol?

s/the/a

There are plenty of other yeast waste products that depend on the fermentation conditions... including methanol (uh-oh!), various ketones and esters (also potenitally problematic), and, of course, CO2.

Too much CO2 in the blood would result in acidosis as the excess CO2 is oxidized (by H2O) into carbonic acid... and then there would be renal compensation for this, leading to a host of other problems.

The reason the acidosis factor is such a problem is that pacemaker users tend to have limited respiratory capacity (which causes respiratory acidosis) anyway... so this would complicate their health even further.

I'm not sure that the impact of the yeast on plasma acidity would be huge, but it's the first non-EtOH waste product complication that popped into my head... I'm sure there are others.

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

No,..
That just means the patient dies with Sharpie markings on him/her.

Re:Waste

[theshowmecanuck]

and don't decide to wander out into the rest of the patient

and turn them into a cheese making yeast infection

Re:Waste

[holmstar]

The shunt would need to lead to somewhere sterile, or you would risk infecting your fuel cell with foreign bacteria. The bladder might work, but bladder infections do happen.

Re:Waste

[rolandog]

Too much MGS4 for you.

Re:Waste

[holmstar]

Baloney. I've drunk plenty of unfiltered beer homebrew is almost never filtered) and do not fall over drunk after eating sugary food. I'd be surprised if yeast could survive even a few seconds in the highly acidic environment of the digestive tract. I also happen to know that some sanitizers used in homebrew are just mild acids.

Re:Waste

[saskboy]

An alcoholic "tape worm" if you will? I picture a micro-Bender drinking all of my beer inside my small intestine.

Re:Waste

[omris]

Although it is true that the hepatic portal system will eliminate some of the crap you absorb, it certainly doesn't do so without using blood. Which was all I was saying.

I didn't mean to imply that the yeast battery would make you drunk, just that alcohol doesn't magically get whisked away by the liver without entering the bloodstream at all.

I wasn't aware that the hepatic portal system is particularly effective for alcohol though, which is why your B.A.C. is usually affected as much by your first shot as your second and so on. I didn't see much on it either way after a cursory glance around Google.

That will teach me to give simple explanations on /. No need to get all up in arms about it. And although I do understand that there are no women on the internet, I'm not a guy.

Re:Waste

[supernova_hq]

Dude, where's my car?

Becoming someone's profit!

Re:Waste

[shadowbearer]

Never played it.

  I used to be damned good at Heavy Gear II, tho...

SB

Re:Waste

[shadowbearer]

  Then some biohackers will introduce an agent which kills the micro-Bender... ;)

SB

Re:Waste

[pcgabe]

I want an implant that makes it so keeping me drunk will be as simple as eating a donut.

Leading to a new national chain of "Drunkin' Donuts"

Re:Waste

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

What's funny is that my first reaction as I read the article was, "doesn't yeast produce wastes that are foreign and toxic to the human body?" And wouldn't you know it, the next section was entitled, "Waste problem". Guess they're reading my mind. :-P

Nah, what's funny is that my first reaction to the summary was, "Ok, I'm getting tired of the April Fools' articles."

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

Except these aren't battery-powered dental implants which would go through the normal digestive system and would not be subject to the first-pass effect.

Re:Waste

[bickerdyke]

Reminds me of an old Twilight Zone Episode. Some guy was told he now has an alcohol feeding worm inside and from now on he can drink whatever he wants without getting too drunk. UNtil the worm is fed up and kills its host.

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

Dat'z OZIFER JOHANSEN for u phunk! *hic*

Re:Waste

[b4upoo]

Yeast plus sugar often brews some great alcohol. In that sense it can be a perfect cure for almost everything. After all, when a man is drunk enough no problems exist at all.

Re:Waste

[razberry636]

Ethanol is a small molecule, like H2O. Thus it passes through your stomach lining and enters the bloodstream from there, so it works like this:

alcohol in your face -> stomach -> bloodstream

That's why intoxication happens so quickly after a drink.

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

'I'm not a guy'

CADIE, is that you?

Re:Waste

[jshazen]

Even if someone consumes zero carbohydrates in the diet, glucose can be manufactured in the body from ketone bodies via gluconeogenesis. So, yes, there is always some amount of glucose in the bloodstream.

Re:Waste

[Failed Physicist]

This is a solved problem. One of my friends doing a masters in microbiology is working on a functionally similar problem where a colony of yeast isolated by an osmotic membrane is used to filter certain nutrients in a liquid stream... I won't go into details but according to his explanations this seemed like the easy part, what is hard is managing to insure an environment where yeast can survive (there is a buildup of dead yeast cells that cannot go through the membrane and undermine the efficiency of the apparatus)

Re:Waste

[CAIMLAS]

Are you saying that people who don't consume refined sugar or carbs don't have glucose in their bloodstream? Or that this invention would somehow rely on the body's supply of yeast to run?

No, I'm saying that people who are diabetic have to watch their sugar intake, and therefore -might- have a lower blood sugar level, reducing the amount of 'natural' yeast, and inhibiting the device's function. (Purely hypothetically speaking.)

I'm working on the assumption that this device, if it's ever used, would not use a "yeast additive", and that the use of yeast in the experiment was due to it being a substitute for human blood yeast/lack of available/controllable blood yeast. IE, in production, it would utilize human blood yeast which consumes sugars.

Re:Waste

[catmistake]

But what if the person is a diabetic, or pre-diabetic....

Diabetes is going away. It was cured in a Canadian lab last year. Big Pharm will lobby against FDA approval of the treatment because its the death of their insulin cash cow, but eventually, 5-10 years, patients will have the cure available. Don't feel bad if you missed that news... I just learned genetic researchers have successfully been growing functioning replacement kidneys since 2004. I suppose kidneys are one of the simpler organs, but if they're grown from the patient's own genetic instructions, then more complex relacement organs should at least be in reach in the next 15-30 years.

Re:Waste

[sjames]

In fact, since insulin is what allows excess glucose to be used up quickly, diabetics generally have an excess of blood glucose. If they're lucky, the special diet causes it to approach normal (from the high side).

People on a ketogenic diet would be more likely to have a problem with implant power but that's not many people.

Re:Waste

[dmitrygr]

link please? The only thing I found on google is this: http://www.diabetesdaily.com/edelman/2008/09/diabetes-cure.php

Re:Waste

[Garrett Fox]

I suspect that keeping the waste from the blood is not a huge problem. Cell membranes are studded with many types of protein that serve as pipes or (ATP-powered) pumps for moving various substances in and out. It should be possible to build an interface that lets glucose flow in without letting the wastes flow out. Actually getting rid of the waste might be a bigger problem, maybe requiring an occasional injection of some chemical that breaks the stuff down. Eventually it'd be best to engineer the bacteria so that whatever they excrete can be handled normally by the kidneys and other blood-maintenance systems.

Re:Waste

[Garrett Fox]

I think the widespread use of alcohol for lack of a trustworthy water supply was a lot more widespread than in medieval Europe.

The book "The Year 1000" also mentions English peasants eating some sort of "crazy bread" in the spring, made from the last leftover grains. If those grains included rotting rye, the author says, the bread would've contained something like LSD!

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

sense of superiority -> not knowing alcohol is absorbed through the walls of your stomach -> Priceless

Re:Waste

[fractoid]

Only a matter of time until someone produces a biological symbiont that *absorbs* alcohol and renders it harmless before it can affect you...

They wouldn't DARE!! -_-

Re:Waste

[Almost-Retired]

Interesting that I got halfway through the list before someone finally grokked that the fuel was glucose.

As a plenty of non-functional insulin diabetic, the huge majority of us in fact, I would welcome almost anything with minimal side effects that could bring my average glucose down 50 points. I haven't seen my sugar under 125 in ages, and it is often near 200. I could then live a semi normal life.

However the side effects being discussed do bother me. OTOH, my warranty expired nearly 75 years ago...

--
Cheers, Gene
"There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty:
  soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order."
-Ed Howdershelt (Author)
I've always considered statesmen to be more expendable than soldiers.

Re:Waste

[Anonymous Coward]

I, for one, would like to welcome our glucose eating overlords. Isn't this how the Matrix began?

Re:Waste

[adavies42]

ergotism

Re:Waste

[catman]

Wow. I'm going to check statistics for my country: TBC is almost gone, so kids don't get BCG vaccine routinely anymore - and diabetes type 1 is increasing ...

Re:Waste

[Hognoxious]

I get waste products from yeast in my blood all the time and I don't have any problems.

Re:Waste

[Hognoxious]

It just so happens that much of the alcohol you drink does make it to general circulation

So you're wrong after all. And as pointed out, a significant amount of alcohol is absorbed directly by the stomach.

Re:Waste

[Hognoxious]

I'd be surprised if yeast could survive even a few seconds in the highly acidic environment of the digestive tract

Yeasts are quite tolerant of acids; many types are happy to ferment fruit juices.

I also happen to know that some sanitizers used in homebrew are just mild acids.

I've never used any that are "just mild acids". Peroxide and hypochlorite are oxidising agents. Others work by releasing sulphur dioxide.

The answer to the question of why a swig of cloudy beer plus a donut doesn't make you fall over: think about how long beer takes to brew, and how long your stomach contents stay in there.

Re:Waste

[daem0n1x]

Yeast produces alcohol and CO2. It's great if you want to stay drunk forever. But beware of the CO2, too much of it and you'll choke.

Re:Waste

[BoothbyTCD]

In fact it would be more or less that way people were for most of human history, when drinking water was unsafe and people drank beer/wine/mead instead.

Re:Waste

[Ironica]

No, I'm saying that people who are diabetic have to watch their sugar intake, and therefore -might- have a lower blood sugar level

As other posters have confirmed, you're incorrect; diabetics tend to have a higher blood glucose level, and have to watch their diet, take meds, and inject insulin to keep it *down* to normal ranges.

I'm working on the assumption that this device, if it's ever used, would not use a "yeast additive", and that the use of yeast in the experiment was due to it being a substitute for human blood yeast/lack of available/controllable blood yeast. IE, in production, it would utilize human blood yeast which consumes sugars.

Um. Yeast in the blood is an infection, and a BAD one. Yeast normally lives in the intestinal tract, and sometimes ends up in other places, like genital areas, milk ducts, etc. If it's in your blood, you need a LOT of antifungal medication.

IANAD... I just happened to have read up a lot on thrush, systemic candida, and probiotic yeast (i.e. sacchromyces boulardii).

Re:Waste

[catmistake]

It was a Toronto lab... the article I read should be the first hit when googling

diabetes breakthrough tom blackwell national post

(sry... mobile)

Farts

[Anonymous Coward]

Too bad, they can't make a car running of my farts. I could probably power the whole city considering the smell of them.

Soylent Hippies

[Anonymous Coward]

Smells like victory with some notes of patchouli and just a flutter of hemp.

Re:Soylent Hippies

[Anonymous Coward]

Patchouli? I'd rather smell Reimu. Mmm.

I hear they already have a name for it

[Steauengeglase]

iDrunk.

Ah, come one someone had to say it.

Re:I hear they already have a name for it

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, I don't have any need for it, but I'll be first in line for one of these. As FSM as my witness, I will never buy vodka again!

Re:I hear they already have a name for it

[Joebert]

That, and Drunken Doughnuts.

'Creepy?'

[fiannaFailMan]

What's so creepy about that? Would you prefer implants to be nuclear powered?

Re:'Creepy?'

[AKAImBatman]

Would you prefer implants to be nuclear powered?

Yes, actually. I'd much rather have a shielded alpha emitter in my chest than a biological organism leaking toxic wastes.

Re:'Creepy?'

[Anonymous Coward]

How would a compressed teryon beam affect this implant?

Re:'Creepy?'

[K. S. Kyosuke]

Especially since it allows one to brag on Slashdot about being an Atomic Man. "Hey, babe, I live off plutonium. How cool is that?"

Re:'Creepy?'

[shadowbearer]

  Can't the human body already metabolize most yeast byproducts?

  The problem with nuclear power sources is that they have a minimum effective size. They wouldn't work for nanobots, assuming we ever figure out how to build cellular repair machinery that small. (Feynman pointed out once that there is no physical barrier to doing so - although the engineering is turning out to be hellishly difficult)

SB

Re:'Creepy?'

[JRIsidore]

Does it come with a Fallout Boy?

Re:'Creepy?'

[pushing-robot]

Does it come with a Fallout Boy?

Fallout Boy, Fall Out Boy, or FalloutBoy?

Re:'Creepy?'

[Tubal-Cain]

Bah. Plutonium is a non-renewable resource. You'll run out eventually. Food, on the other hand...

Re:'Creepy?'

[Anonymous Coward]

I know you THINK that person you're talking to online is a babe, but I'm pretty sure it's really a dude. Especially since you're here on slashdot. :)

Re:'Creepy?'

[rts008]

Did you mean a PIP-Boy 2000?

Re:'Creepy?'

[UncleTogie]

Plutonium is a non-renewable resource.

Are you sure?

Hey now.

[castorvx]

Legitimate news? We need to keep this site as useless as possible today. You're not helping.

Re:Hey now.

[shadowbearer]

Read the FA, especially linked journal summary, published back in December.

http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/search/wrapper.jsp?arnumber=4671110

  This isn't an April Fools joke.

  This is brilliant. There's been a lot of scifi stories that hypothesized implants that run off of neural impulses; this isn't limited by the extremely small amounts of electricity that the nervous system generates.

  Waste is definitely going to be a problem, but one that's likely solvable by engineering yeast that produce waste that can be metabolized and flushed out by the liver or kidneys.

  This may also be an answer to the problem of powering nanomachines that repair the human body. I'm hardly an expert in the field, anyone who is (and is still here today) care to comment?

SB

Re:Hey now.

[Zakabog]

This isn't an April Fools joke.

That was the parent's point.

"We need to keep this site as useless as possible today. You're not helping."

"Legitimate news?" wasn't questioning the legitimacy of the article, it was questioning why there was legitimate news today.

Re:Hey now.

[shadowbearer]

  I did get the sarcasm. It was just a good place to insert my post and try to head off any potential idiots at the pass, so to speak ;)

SB

Re:Hey now.

[nine-times]

This is brilliant. There's been a lot of scifi stories that hypothesized implants that run off of neural impulses; this isn't limited by the extremely small amounts of electricity that the nervous system generates.

Well yes, when you think about it, it makes all the sense in the world. Our blood is in many ways a vehicle for carrying chemical fuel to "power" our bodies. So if you're going to implant something that needs to draw power, of course you'd want to see if you could draw power from that same source. So apparently yeast may be a decent mechanism for doing do.

Of course, it does make me wonder exactly how much power can be drawn, and whether it would reach some point where implanted devices would be competing with your own body for nutrients. In a way, it's like they're trying to build an artificial symbiotic parasite.

Re:Hey now.

[shadowbearer]

  One can always introduce more nutrients into the body to compensate, if it becomes a problem.

  Your point about artificial symbiotic parasites is right on target. I think that's more likely to be the path we take in repairing body damage - destroying cancers and fixing cellular damage - than nanomachines are.

SB

Re:Hey now.

[soren202]

Yeah, I'm just waiting for human trials, where the host is overtaken by yeast and dies due to malnourishement..... or just becomes obscenely fat due to the increased food requirements from the yeast.

Re:Hey now.

[Ironlenny]

This isn't an April Fools joke.

Then what kind of joke is it?

Re:Hey now.

[BikeHelmet]

No... this is an April Fool's joke.

This isn't, though.

The pic in the article above bears a striking resemblance to a CPU w/ IHS in one of those hard plastic CPU holders.

Re:Hey now.

[froon]

Are articles that seem like a joke but aren't, OK?
U.S. drops corruption case against ex-Sen. Stevens

Re:Hey now.

[Anonymous Coward]

If it is symbiotic is not a parasite.

 

Re:Hey now.

[Anonymous Coward]

  Waste is definitely going to be a problem, but one that's likely solvable by engineering yeast that produce waste that can be metabolized and flushed out by the liver or kidneys.

Waste! No problem. Yeast make waste in the form of ethanol from glucose. I'll take that "waste" anyday!

Sorry occifer, wazz juz chargin my pacemakerzz

Re:Hey now.

[mincognito]

But that's the fun of April Fools day on /. -- figuring out what is legitimate and what's not. There wouldn't be a possibility for fooling at all if everyone knew at the outset that every article had to be a joke.

Re:Hey now.

[shadowbearer]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasite

SB

Re:Hey now.

[shadowbearer]

  Damn, hit reply too soon.

The definition of symbiosis is in flux, and the term has been applied to a wide range of biological interactions. The symbiotic relationship may be categorized as being mutualistic, parasitic, or commensal in nature.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symbiote

SB

Re:Hey now.

[Nefarious Wheel]

I'd be pleased if it mopped up my excess glucose. I could cut down on the meds.

Re:Hey now.

[Anonymous Coward]

one that's likely solvable by engineering yeast that produce waste that can be metabolized and flushed out by the liver or kidneys

The "toxic" waste byproduct of yeast is... alcohol. And yes, it generally can be processed by the liver.

oh sure, works great...

[sunking2]

Until they douche.

If its not april Fools

[TinBromide]

Is anybody else a little wary of yeast cells that can live inside the human body and process blood? They're talking about implanting these inside the body to power pacemakers. I didn't see anything in the article about april fools.

This kind of takes a yeast infection to a whole new level, the original kind is already hard enough to get rid of, and its not systemic. Fungal infections inside the body are very hard to treat because fungi cells are so similar to animal cells and its hard to kill one without harming the other.

I guess its time for the obligatory "I for one welcome our vampiric mono-cellular overlords."

Re:If its not april Fools

[Cube Steak]

The yeast they are talking about here is not Candida albicans which is the strain that causes yeast infection. In this they are most likely talking about Saccharomyces cerevisiae which is just ordinary brewers yeast and is harmless. Do you really think they would be dumb enough to stick a known pathogen in someone's body?

Re:If its not april Fools

[HappyHead]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too when I read the article. They have to have a way for the yeast to get access to the nutrients, and they'd be alive and reproducing (yeast is like that...) so wouldn't there be a chance of it breaking free of the fuel cell? Designing the cell to have pores "too small" for the yeast to pass just means that you would have to wait for a mutation in the yeast cells (low probability, but still possible) that made them small enough to get out - into your blood supply, which is food for them...

Re:If its not april Fools

[TinBromide]

If the implant is to be more useful than a battery, it needs to last longer than the lifespan of a single yeast cell. In order for that to happen, the yeast needs to be able to reproduce inside the body. Chances are, they'll work out a way for the immune system to not attack the blood/yeast barrier (rejection is bad) or get them to not attack the yeast itself through immune system suppression drugs. If the yeast can live, reproduce, and produce waste products in blood (or what diffuses across the barrier) in the implant, it might be able to do that outside the implant.

Sounds like they're taking a non-pathogen and turning it into something that can survive and reproduce in the body. Whether or not it thrives once it gets there remains to be seen. It might not put out enough waste that its immediately noticable, but what happens if this gets loose in someone with a weak immune system? They might ferment to death.

Re:If its not april Fools

[Cube Steak]

It might not put out enough waste that its immediately noticable, but what happens if this gets loose in someone with a weak immune system?

I'm pretty sure anyone who has one of these things is probably going to get routine checkups from their physician to make sure the device is functioning alright. It's not as if they are just going to stick this in you and then just forget about it.

They might ferment to death.

No, they wouldn't. The amount of glucose a yeast cell consumes is extremely small and the amount of ethanol produced is as well (and would be metabolized faster than it could build up). We'd have to be talking about many magnitudes more yeast cells than are going to be in this battery to survive in your body for quite some time to actually have any detrimental effect.

Re:If its not april Fools

[TinBromide]

We'd have to be talking about many magnitudes more yeast cells than are going to be in this battery to survive in your body for quite some time to actually have any detrimental effect.

Which could be the result of a systemic infection that would go undetected due to the small amount of waste produced by the yeast up until the point that the boiling frog dies. But once it is in the blood stream, the difficulties in treating a fungal infection return. (I.E. its very hard to do without significant harm to the host).

I know that they're not going to implant these and dump the patients in the street, but anybody who has set a cup of warm water with some yeast and sugar on the counter for 10 minutes will see the power of exponential reproduction. The results would be similar to an antibiotic resistant bacterial infection, and by the time the bacteria reaches your blood stream, it can go really bad overnight.

Re:If its not april Fools

[CAIMLAS]

People already have yeast in their body, particularly if they have a high sugar intake (ie any westerner). There's yeast everywhere; what makes the inside of your body different?

Granted, it's not the kind of yeast you can make bread with (easily). But it's still there, feeding on sugars.

Re:If its not april Fools

[TinBromide]

True, but the immune system probably knows what to do with those varieties when they get into the blood stream. Are those varieties parked in the bloodstream? Do they feed/reproduce in a blood type environment? (I'm not familiar enough with this to know for certain about those.)

There are plenty of bacteria in your intestines that would kill you if they crossed over to the bloodstream, so safely contained pathogens aren't as good of an analog as something that lives and exists in other systems that aren't as isolated.

While this won't be plague worthy (its blood borne without a way to jump from person to person), on an individual level, it could be like injecting a pathogen into a person with no evolutionary or genetic protection from it.

Re:If its not april Fools

[shadowbearer]

  Aren't yeast cells relatively large, as well? Since glucose molecules are pretty small, I'd imagine it'd be fairly easy to build a filter to keep the yeast out of the bloodstream.

SB

Re:If its not april Fools

[Anonymous Coward]

Magnitudes are easy to achieve when you've got exponential growth on your side.

Re:If its not april Fools

[qpawn]

Maybe the yeast will get a human infection.

Re:If its not april Fools

[SatanicPuppy]

Yea, but yeast molecules and...Huh. Nvrmind, I just edjumucated myself. (I thought that blood cells played a role in transporting glucose like they do oxygen, which is apparently not the case).

Yeast is about the same size as a red blood cell (~6 micrometers, though some yeasts are as big as 10micrometers) which should be substantially bigger than a mere simple sugar.

Re:If its not april Fools

[Belial6]

"Do you really think they would be dumb enough to stick a known pathogen in someone's body?"

I'm not arguing for or against the yeast, but there is absolutely no question that the medical industry would put known pathogens into patients. Case in point... Immunizations.

Re:If its not april Fools

[qengho]

Is anybody else a little wary of yeast cells that can live inside the human body and process blood?

What could possibly go wrong?

Re:If its not april Fools

[CAIMLAS]

I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but my understanding is that there are yeasts which do get into the bloodstream. This is more my wife's forte, but there are some people who think that blood yeasts, which thrive on sugars, are contributory to things like the development of diabetes, arthritis, and a couple other digestive auto-immune issues. Like i said, I'm fuzzy on the details.

Re:If its not april Fools

[rts008]

I would also worry a little about these little buggers mutating into something not so benign. The bloodstream is a really foreign environment for yeast...lots of strange(for the yeast) stuff floating around.

On a more serious note, everytime I see something like this, the first thing that pops into my head is:
'This is going to end badly...somehow involving gorillas freezing to death in the winter'.

Re:If its not april Fools

[rts008]

The condition(desease) is called Fungemia.

[From the wiki link]

Fungemia (also known as Candidemia, Candedemia, and Invasive Candidiasis) is the presence of fungi or yeasts in the blood.

Diabetes Management

[BarefootClown]

If this were used to power a glucose meter and microprocessor, and throttled appropriately, could it be used to manage blood sugar for diabetics?

Re:Diabetes Management

[shadowbearer]

  I don't know about managing blood sugar - that's pretty complicated - but one could certainly build an implantable glucose monitor using this technology.

  Yeast are thriving? Glucose levels are high. Dying? Low...

SB

Re:Diabetes Management

[ArcherB]

If this were used to power a glucose meter and microprocessor, and throttled appropriately, could it be used to manage blood sugar for diabetics?

Until the yeast gets smart enough to figure out that it can fudge the results to feed itself.

Re:Diabetes Management

[gluefish]

An extension of the concept could go so far as to suggest not only diabetes monitoring, but blood sugar management and even weight management. If this gets into the science fiction realm, and gets popular, it could even drive it into real-life devices. So now imagine: A device that powers off your blood glucose, or the yeast in your blood, or anything else that could drive a fuel cell. Now imagine that driving an actuator that will enhance the strength of an arm or leg, or drive a microprocessor / brain interface... you see how far this concept could be taken.

Re:Diabetes Management

[Anonymous Coward]

Great. And then we'll have anemic citizens with poor circulation stalking the streets at night.

Re:Diabetes Management

[MiniMike]

Except that every time it powered up to take a reading, it would alter the measured property (ok, just a little). I suppose if the problem was high blood sugar, the problem would solve itself eventually...

Re:Diabetes Management

[Anonymous Coward]

Fungal mycelium bears a striking resemblance to interconnected neurons.
Many species of fungus have the ability to switch from unicellular yeast forms to multicellular hyphae forms.
Ergo, mod parent scary.

Re:Diabetes Management

[White Yeti]

Extending that, could this be a first, clunky attempt at creating an artificial organ? How about a miniaturized, blood-powered dialysis machine? We already know where to send the waste product.

!aprilfools ??

[clone53421]

This article is the most believable of any of the articles today... I wonder if it's true?

Geez, I'm probably the fool...

Re:!aprilfools ??

[Qzukk]

It references a paper published in December, so like the autism article, I'd assume it's either serious, or a prank with a lot of build-up.

Re:!aprilfools ??

[Paul Pierce]

you aren't alone. I almost don't read /. on April fools for this reason.

The rest of the year I read slashdot, pretend I know what everyone is talking about, and feel smart. On April 1st I just feel dumb.

Re:!aprilfools ??

[hvm2hvm]

Have you seen it being published in December. It's not like they can't lie about the date :P

Re:!aprilfools ??

[hvm2hvm]

. -> ?

# why can't i write only 6 characters in a comment? :P

Re:!aprilfools ??

[treeves]

That's what I thought,too. BTW, AFD is a terrible day to have mod points....

Re:!aprilfools ??

[black_lbi]

I promise you that by this time next year i will have a blog and will post the non-bogus slashdot stories for people like you ... who find it too hard to tell by a short glance of the summary if the story is a joke or not.

Oh, and this one is not an AF joke. Cheers!

Wait, is this a serious story?

[Gizzmonic]

A serious story at last? Pah! I remember in the old days when Slashdot would run nothing but fake stories all April Fools' Day long! It's so much worse now, I don't know who to believe, who to trust. I feel confusion and disorientation in every turn! I guess I'll do some real work, then!

Re:Wait, is this a serious story?

[Areyoukiddingme]

Damn, are we that desperate today? WORK?!

Yeah, maybe...

Re:Wait, is this a serious story?

[thetoadwarrior]

They want you to believe it's fake.

Fat People Irony?

[lemur3]

What about the crap that closes up the arteries? Will that effect your pace maker ? Can your pace Maker battery be clogged by that crap?

Re:Fat People Irony?

[Anonymous Coward]

Given that it takes years for the plaque to build up enough to cause problems, and that this is mainly being brought forward for elderly people with heart conditions who probably couldn't survive follow-up operations to replace batteries, it's probably not a concern.

Awesome idea, but..

[Anonymous Coward]

What happens when you get a yeast infection and need to take anti-fungals? Are these yeast going to be fungicide resistant, or are you going to have to replace the implant?

Unless you could make the container impermeable to fungicides but permeable to everything the yeast need. Might not be possible depending on the fungicide.

Re:Awesome idea, but..

[Cube Steak]

Saccharomyces cerevisiae, or brewer's yeast, which is what they are using doesn't cause yeast infections. You are thinking of the pathogenic strain Candida albicans.

Re:Awesome idea, but..

[shadowbearer]

Mod parent up please.

  More info:

http://intelegen.com/nutrients/candida_yeast_protection_program1.htm

SB

Re:Awesome idea, but..

[Perp Atuitie]

No, s/he's asking if the fungicides used to treat yeast infections would also attack the "good" yeast. And while we're at it, what about reglar ol' antibiotics?

Re:Awesome idea, but..

[Anonymous Coward]

As Perp Atuitie pointed out, I was talking about other yeast infections. Something like 75% of women get thrush at some point in their lives. Then what? Take the fungicidal thrush treatment and kill off the implant too?

The technology is interesting, but it has some interesting boundaries to overcome too.

Re:Awesome idea, but..

[Quothz]

Saccharomyces cerevisiae, or brewer's yeast, which is what they are using doesn't cause yeast infections. You are thinking of the pathogenic strain Candida albicans.

Sure, and that's good to know, but does the brewer's yeast die when you treat another, unrelated infection of candida albicans? And will other medicines affect/kill it?

It appears not. From what I can tell from a cursory look at the article, the yeast is isolated from the blood by an artificial semipermeable membrane. This also keeps the yeast's waste out of the blood. There may be a question of some medicines passing through the membrane; I dunno. I suspect most are too large.

Looks like a neat technology, but it's still quite a ways from the market. Eventually, it should lead to a new state of the art in all small implants.

Re:Awesome idea, but..

[Anonymous Coward]

Tawfik OW, Papasian CJ, Dixon AY, Potter LM. (1989) Saccharomyces cerevisiae pneumonia in a patient with acquired immune deficiency syndrome. J Clin Microbiol. 1989 Jul;27(7):1689-91.

The clinical course of a patient with a polymicrobial pneumonia that included Saccharomyces cerevisiae infection is described. S. cerevisiae was recovered from autopsy cultures of the lungs, spleen, oral mucosa, and small intestine, and organisms morphologically consistent with S. cerevisiae were visualized in histologic sections of the lung. The role of this organism as a human pathogen is reviewed.

PMCID: PMC267645
PMID: 2671026 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

And I thought bats were a problem,

[yakatz]

now we may have to worry about vampire cars and vampire houses too?

If people can use this descovery to power other things, you might need to walk around in a full suit of armor to keep your blood to your self.

Could we generate power...

[thered2001]

...using this technology and the artificial blood from yesterday's story?

Re:Could we generate power...

[phantomfive]

I think so. And then we can use the power to create more artificial blood. Which will create more power. Wait a second, I think I'm on to something here............in the spirit of so many tech companies we see here on slashdot, would anyone like to invest in my IPO?

sugar!

[Anonymous Coward]

Giving new blood(aha) to the term 'sugar rush'.

Vamp Cell?!

[Cur8or]

This has to be an April fools thing. Would you give blood to get your mobile phone running again? You're going to lose weight, I guess.

Re:Vamp Cell?!

[vasp]

Stop lowering the standard for Homo sapiens everywhere.

You really couldn't read and understand the shortest summary ever?

Re:Vamp Cell?!

[Cur8or]

Well, I understood that they can power devices from the glucose in human blood. Is it such a stretch to have an emergency charging device that runs off blood you deposit into it?

Cybernetic Implants

[vertinox]

Besides the importance of creating pacemakers without batteries that have to be surgically removed, doesn't this edge us closer to electronics built into humans.

Most likely it will have to low power ARM processor related, but imaging if you could have a blue tooth cochlear implant, built in throat mike, and SSD storage built in to your own being.

You could be tethered to your energy consuming 3g device and have conversations without a head set (aka Ghost in the shell).

Of course if they can figure a way for you to have conversations without actually talking so you don't look crazy...

Re:Cybernetic Implants

[Anonymous Coward]

In Ghost in the Shell, they don't speak out load, or move their lips or anything.

They would appear to be just standing or sitting still.

Not crazy at all.

Re:Cybernetic Implants

[Anonymous Coward]

That's the new v4 Iphone I thought...

Re:Cybernetic Implants

[need4mospd]

So where do you put the touch screen?

Re:Cybernetic Implants

[rts008]

Touch Screen? Bah!

I'll just use my joystick!

Is this a serious post...

[Anonymous Coward]

...or another unfunny post like everything else on /. today.

Two Possibilities

[molotovjester]

Runaway Yeast Infection = Spontaneous Human Combustion?

Or

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=coppertop

The Matrix?

[Andy_w715]

nfm

Useful!

[CopaceticOpus]

How long until someone has a power source embedded in their arm? A person could plug in their laptop and run it indefinitely, while losing weight at the same time.

Re:Useful!

[viper34j]

Why stop there? Why not have a machine that you plug into that extracts calories from your body at night? You could effectively just sleep away your weight. Why not trickle this energy you are generating into battery cells that work to power your home in tangent with a solar panel array? hmmm...

Re:Useful!

[IndustrialComplex]

Why not trickle this energy you are generating into battery cells that work to power your home in tangent with a solar panel array? hmmm...

It's all fun and games till someone turns on a hair dryer and throws the breaker. Or your house gets struck by lightning with YOU plugged in. ;)

Re:Useful!

[viper34j]

Use your cat as a surge protector?

So many stories to choose from

[EldonL]

Do we have to choose the least or most obvious April Fools story today?

I can hear it now

[CDOS_CDOS run]

Damn ... another yeast infection

yeah right....

[inerlogic]

you lost me at "Canadian researchers"

Re:yeah right....

[Anonymous Coward]

you lost me at "Canadian researchers"

Hey, I go to that university! I'm sure there are some researchers somewhere around here somewhere... I'll go check the faculty pub.

Re:yeah right....

[phatStrat]

you lost me at "Canadian researchers"

definitely tag this one "aprilfools".

Re:yeah right....

[Anonymous Coward]

eh?

(wow, I got "virgins" as the captcha, is that an April's fool joke too?)

I couldn't help but think....

[netruner]

I was honestly thinking this was an April Fool's joke.

When I read the headline, I conjured the disturbing mental image of stuffing bodies into the gas tank of my car.

Re:I couldn't help but think....

[Anonymous Coward]

next there will be yeast fuel cell power robots sucking the blood out of humans, cyber-vamp

So thats why...

[Anonymous Coward]

cops eat so many donuts. Or perhaps we could fit this technology on sharks with lasers mounted on there head......

Just imagine, cities powered by...

[Anonymous Coward]

yucky poon....

Eliminating waste products is easy

[Morgaine]

TFA didn't really phrase the paragraph about waste elimination too well.

It's not so much that "leaching out of harmful substances into the bloodstream" is a problem. The real issue is devising a process for the yeasts that produces only normal metabolic waste. Given that, waste elimination is really easy, since the body has terrific mechanisms for locking up toxins and circulatory systems for eliminating them.

Re:Eliminating waste products is easy

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought this shouldn't be an issue.

The real issue, as I see it, is to produce a filter that allows the food to go in, the waste to go out, but keeps the reproducing fungi in place.

Suspicious funding....

[macraig]

Was this research funded by the estate of Bela Lugosi?

Re:Suspicious funding....

[macraig]

You might call it the Transylvanian Connection.

I need...

[Anonymous Coward]

I live in MN. I need a car that runs on snow.

Names.

[Tavor]

I shall call my first pacemaker Nosferatu, just for this very reason.

Can there be any doubt...

[hyades1]

...the science fiction/teen slasher movie that's bound to come out of this will have the words "mutant" and "beer" in the title?

Anyone having a Strange Brew flashback?

[Phizzle]

Sorry, but when I saw the summation about Canadian scientists and beer yeast on April 1st, my mind immediately went to some kind of mutated Bob & Doug McKenzie flashback.

Doug McKenzie: I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.
Bob McKenzie: He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.
Doug McKenzie: Hey I just thought of something, what if we could harness the power of the force from the beer yeast that would feed on human blood? Somekinda Vampire beer power, eh?
Bob McKenzie: Take off, eh!

Seems like this will be difficult to sustain

[fragMasterFlash]

One of the many tricky bits in implementing a yeast or other biological based in vivo power source will be in maintaining balance. Too little yeast and it would seem that immunities in the body would deplete it, too much and the culture will grow unchecked. Would antibiotics be required on an ongoing basis to sustain a controlled yeast population?

Hm... Yeasty!

[Anonymous Coward]

So yeasty girls can power their implants by sucking down ding-dongs and ho-hos...?

A dream come true...

[Perp Atuitie]

My own private vampire.

Re:A dream come true...

[Anonymous Coward]

My own private vampire.

Congratulations on your wedding.

Re:A dream come true...

[Anonymous Coward]

My own private vampire.

The things slashdotters will put up with just to have a girlfriend...

Sure, RIGHT.

[glindsey]

You know, Slashdot could've gone the way of Wikipedia, which has a bunch of crazy entries on the front page which are actually truthful in some way (albeit usually misleading in a humorous way). Instead we get the usual "HUR HUR MICROSOFT RELEASES CP/M 9.2" bullshit.

Oh, wait, what? This one is serious? Nah, can't be. I mean, you've cried wolf how often?

Why does ANYONE post stories on April 1st???

[rstanley]

I can't take ANY story seriously today! I have been bitten too many times to believe ANYTHING posted today! ;^)

Happy April Fools Day to everyone!

Wow. Synergy.

[Perp Atuitie]

Just happened to scroll down some after reading this. Not only will the batteries keep our mechanical add-ons working, they can have a Repo Man. No more late payments to our poor "health care" enforcers.

Anonymous Coward

[Anonymous Coward]

Couldn't a weight loss device be built with this?

Great new car idea.

[This name in use]

I've been telling my wife for months that we need to fight global warming by building a car that runs on the blood of hippies.
My dream may come.

Yikes

[shadowbearer]

  Two generations from now, donuts and frosting and brownies - and PIE! - are going to be regulated for "21 and older" ;D

SB

Re:Yikes

[Hoi Polloi]

Man comes staggering into Dunkin Doughnuts....

"For god's sake give me a crueller!"

Re:Yikes

[greetings programs]

or is it Drunkin' Donuts?

Re:Yikes

[inu_maru]

Read it: "For GOOD SAKE give me a crueller" ... bloody engrish....

Re:Yikes

[Anonymous Coward]

Make that "Drunken Donuts"...

Canadians?

[PPH]

I vant to suck your blood, eh!

War of the Worlds Scene..

[Neptunes_Trident]

Anyone else get that mental image, when those machines in the War of the Worlds (2005), were running around capturing the people and sucking their blood in order to keep functioning?
I'm all for scientific advancement but recent breakthroughs and peoples mindsets about them, have been horrifying me as of late. I'm starting to feel like a lab rat in waiting. Screw that!

Hmmm... Take the blue pill or read slashdot?

[dbdweeb]

Where does this rabbit hole end?

pure genious

[Anonymous Coward]

Make a mini vampire and then stick it in our bodies. I like the alcohol comment but what if ya get pulled over, do you carry a pacemaker alchy card.

I had also heard that electric eels were being looked into to power such items because they have natural batteries.

Could I get a HUD for that built in cell phone. I remember somewhere reading about some guy that had a cellphone implanted into a molar, I don't remember the details, but could you imagine trying to avoid a call.

Extremely low performance, for now.

[blind biker]

I do micro fuel cells, and part of my research is bio-fuel cells - similar to the one in the article. While this is valuable research, you shouldn't get too excited, yet: it's not the only device of its kind, and the performance is not even nearly sufficient, for now, for any application. It's a proof of concept, and sometimes (non-reproduceable) with better than meager power density. But, I do believe that the future of implantable fuel cells is bright. It even may be that we won't need enzymes (or bacteria) at all, which would be perfect. Some metallizations and stable inorganic compounds might do the trick using blood plasma without any added bio-active catalyst.

The blood car is finally here

[zig43]

Funny movie too, Blood Car.

Re:The blood car is finally here

[NeutronCowboy]

Kinda creepy, too. We now have a real equivalent. Cars won't be powered off of it, but I can see plenty of ambivalence towards something that "sucks your life energy out."

I'll wait for the movie

[wbaxter1]

Can't wait to see Hollywood portray this on film. Maybe they'll finally make a film adaptation of Blood Song; since coming up with their own ideas seems to be a bit lacking in the movie makers skill set.

Wait a minute

[hesaigo999ca]

Anyone seen the blob...looks like alot of yeast,
I just wonder if there is a set limit to reproduction of this yeast in the body?

Jed> Don't poke him Vern, you'll make him explode
Vern> Whaa?
Pop!

Anonymous Coward

[Anonymous Coward]

All hail our new yeast overlords!

...it functions for the life of the patient...

[tlambert]

"Running a device off of the human metabolism is an excellent way to ensure that it functions for the life of the patient."

Uh, all these devices function for the life of the patient, give or take a few minutes...

-- Terry

In other news A.I. research nearing a breakthrough

[Yogiz]

Making machines able to survive on human blood. That's ingenious! What could possibly go wrong?

Blood Battery

[Anonymous Coward]

And I thought that the Matrix was just SciFi

Gray goo

[sidb]

Introducing blood-eating yeast into a person's pacemaker? What's the worst that could happen?

Oh yeah. Gray goo. I hope they've engineered in a lysine deficiency.

All of this has happened before...

[sdjc]

and it will all happen again!

Progress!

[steelfood]

So I guess the tradition of reading the summary only and not reading TFA now extends to reading the subject only and not reading the contents of the post.

Matrix Batteries ?

[freaker_TuC]

Someone has seen too much The Matrix ;)

Very soon they will use us, like we currently use 12/24V batteries in autocars...

How About Weight Loss?

[severoon]

Call me when they figure out how to install a giant energy burner that does nothing but burn energy...talk about a great weight loss solution. Also, I wouldn't mind filtering the alcohol directly out of my blood when they do solve the waste problem...that way I can keep drinking all night and adjust my level of drunkenness appropriate to the task at hand. Time to party? Dial back the filter. Time to drive home? Turn it up to "11".

Re:How About Weight Loss?

[ozmanjusri]

Call me when they figure out how to install a giant energy burner that does nothing but burn energy.

We call those "muscles".

They take a bit of effort to get, but pretty much anyone's capable if they genuinely want to lose weight.

Re:How About Weight Loss?

[Zarf]

Call me when they figure out how to install a giant energy burner that does nothing but burn energy.

We call those "muscles".

They take a bit of effort to get, but pretty much anyone's capable if they genuinely want to lose weight.

I tried these muscle things and they need to work out some of the bugs in the control scheme. For example my double jump isn't nearly high enough.

Really?

[Well-Fed Troll]

In this economy?

Man I'd be all over a nuclear powered stomach so I could quit this disgusting Eating habit.

Mods fell asleep

[rts008]

ROFL!
That made my day, thanks!

Robo Cop

[Zygamorph]

Great now robo cop HAS to stop for donuts every so often.

We need more drunken cyborgs!

[rts008]

*Hic!* "Mad scientists turned me into a microbrewery!" *passes out*

A whole new meaning

[EkriirkE]

to "Vampire Plugs"

I'm In Ur Blood,

[Chlorine Trifluoride]

Eatin ur glucose!

Wait...

[Runefox]

It powers implants and feeds on glucose in the blood? Excellent news for us diabetics! Hell, screw the implants!

In Canadian Russia...

[GodfatherofSoul]

beer drinks YOU!

I embrace our mechano-eukaryotic overlords

[el cisne]

Um, do we really, really want to implant something that thinks parts of us are food? It's not like the yeast are gonna say "whoa, we've had enough! If we get any more food we're gonna start multiplying like crazy, and we don't want that!"

AND they're connecting them to a mechanical device? Can you say "flesh-eating robots devour mankind"? ;-)

I embrace our mechano-eukaryotic overlords

hmmm.

[Shard.Oglass666]

Blue-green alge likes the taste of blood too.

Investing in Dunkin Donuts...

[catdevnull]

Mmmm...forbidden donut...

Blood wine anyone?

[Sarev0k]

It might not put out enough waste that its immediately noticable, but what happens if this gets loose in someone with a weak immune system? They might ferment to death.

Mmmm, this would certainly make drinking the blood of my enemies that much tastier!!!

possibilities are sky high !

[uglyface]

wow ! if they can extrapollate this idea and have controller fat/glucose burners then loosing obesity and diabetis is just weeks job yeh ?

Re:What if Yeast becomes cancerous

[Anonymous Coward]

What if Yeast spills out of the battery into blodd stream & becomes cancerous. Start eating more glucose in large amounts from the body

Discrimination!

[ChrisBader]

Now if they were to find a way to turn the waste into a byproduct of alcohol it would mean that younger children/teens could not get this due to laws against alcohol and it would also set many difficulties for when they start to drive. From the time you get your licence to I believe the age of 18 you can not have a single drop of alcohol in your body and drive, if you have a .01 you are above the limit...

Re:In other news A.I. research nearing a breakthro

[Anonymous Coward]

hmmm... thats gives me an idea for my next movie.

I wonder if Jeffrey Combs and Bruce Campbell are free for shooting a new movie.