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Swiss Bank Has 43-Page Dress Code
Tasha26 writes "The HR of Swiss bank UBS AG came up with an innovative 43-page document (French) to establish fashion 'dos' and 'don'ts' in their retail branches. Among the rules are such things as: 'neither sex should allow their underwear to appear,' perhaps Dilbert was a bit ahead of them on that. The document also mentions smells and 'avoid garlic and onion-based dishes.'"
Should avoid working for this bank!
I'm going to have to start asking that at my job interviews.
Only dress code that should be required: 1) Do not show up to work naked. 2) If you're in a position where you need to be taken seriously, dress so that the other guy will take you seriously. 3) Seriously, noone wants to see you naked.
I can't wait for companies to start using these to enforce dress codes. "I'm sorry, Jim, but we can't allow you to wear your pretty, pretty princess underwear to work."
"I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
So uh a business whose employees deal with customers on a daily basis in an industry where projecting an image of professionalism is very important has developed a guide to aid their employees? This just sounds like common sense to me.
43 pages sounds a bit insane, until you actually look at it. Large print, lots of diagrams, lots of whitespace/formatting not 43 walls of text. It actually looks pretty clean and readable.
Financial institutions are still one of the last places where we expect people to put some effort into their appearance. Even geeks like myself who cringe when they have to put on a tie tend to expect the people dealing with our savings to look the part. If the guy I’m greeted by has a nose ring, I’m out of there. Yay for double standards I guess.
And when opening new accounts for African dictators, "intelligence" groups, mercenaries, drug-lords, and the odd nazi, one should be sure that one's hands are kept lily white.
Does this mean it's in three different languages??
Once upon a time, we all knew all this. Then they let grils in, and distractions started. Then they went multinational and USians were Puritans, and Antipodeans were simply cheerful. So - give us the guide, please. Do we have to button our jackets in China? (I didn't and it offended). But... red ties? 'dry clean' shirts? (suits, surely). Let Dilbert advise.
but i tend not to wear garlic or onion-based dishes.
lady gaga i'm looking at you
No doubt this came from the same people who invented the longest email disclaimer.
Thanks El Reg. for archiving this for posterity.
44 pages considering the cover page.
How does someone remember a comic from that long ago?
"Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead."
That is some old-school Dilbert. In the 90s, when comic outlines were wigglier (cf Dr. Katz), and Alice's hair was less triangular.
We should all aspire to such clean and complete documentation. This is a 5-star effort.
At least they let the French write the dress code instead of the Germans. I'd rather see co-workers wearing black socks with tennis shoes than socks and sandals.
"I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
You're right. Clearly they shouldn't even be employing sand niggers - and should beat up any that happen to sneak in to make sure they know that *their* "culture" should be subservient to WHITE PEOPLE. I bet you're a huge hit at the local KKK rallies.
In order to leave the proper impression for clients, customers and investors, employees in creative and R&D departments should be careful not to dress like this.
John Lennon has made an interesting song about this behaviour: "You can wear a collar and a tie, one thing you can't hide, is when you're crippled inside".
In true /. spirit I chose to not actually read the article, but just from Tasha26's synopsis I would tend to agree that one should avoid wearing garlic- or onion-based dishes to work.
This space intentionally left (almost) blank.
The following highlights of the booklet are provided courtesy of The Vancouver Sun:
The list.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A professional in a gorilla mask is still a professional."
In French it's 43 pages. Translated to English it fits on a card you can hang from your badge lanyard.
Very interesting document on professional appearance.
I would not like to work in a firm that enforces such a dress code, but it contains some good tips to enhance your professional appearance.
I've seen too many written dress codes where 99% of the don'ts apply only to women. This one is about 50/50 on what's right for both men and women. I like that it shows what's right, it's not just a shopping list of what's wrong. They want a plain but classy look. I could live with it if I worked there.
Me? I'm showing a bit of cleavage today, and, yes, my bra is showing. If it's going to show anyway, wear a nice one.
...laura
The U.S. Army's guide to dressing up right is 362 pages.
And they have total control of the manufacture and issue of the clothes. They're not suffering all the randomness that the fashion and retail industries insert into civilian clothing choices.
I could care less about the dress code, I want to see the money laundering policy, and the code to detect it.
But I have a feeling it says something like "Monkey no see, monkey no hear, monkey no say", in elaborate legalese, in 38 separate policies, procedure manuals, and legal/sales dept coordinated recommendations, totaling 4392 pages of policy. They surely have huge conflicts in whose dirty money they see or inform on, and whose they don't.
Build your own energy sources from scratch. http://otherpower.com/
Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"
This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.
Jesus was a compassionate social conservative who called individuals to sin no more.
Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"
This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.
If the muslim woman can't take her mask off to have her picture taken, if it covers your face its a mask by any other name, she shouldn't be driving either.
If someone is passing you on the right, you are an asshole for driving in the wrong lane.
Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"
This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.
If the muslim woman can't take her mask off to have her picture taken, if it covers your face its a mask by any other name, she shouldn't be driving either.
Just holding them to their own standards, can't claim one without the other.
If someone is passing you on the right, you are an asshole for driving in the wrong lane.
Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"
This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.
Correct. Some people are so used to giving way to Islam that they see any suggestion that we should hold Muslims to the same standards as anyone else as "islamaphobic". We ban Santa because more than one Muslim might be offended, but if two non-muslims said they were offended by an "Eid Murnbarak" poster how far do you think that would get. When Muslims set off bombs in our cities the call is not to stop Muslims setting off bombs but not to allow the incident to undermine multiculturalism! Muslims frequently burn bibles but go on the rampage when someone says they will burn the Qur'an - but doesn't!
you want a high class bank to have monkey suit uniforms? if you want that go to white castle.
avoid garlic and onion-based dishes
Aaaah now I understand
I'm a nerd, and this does not matter to me. Nor is it news. Nor is it that outlandish. I've seen phone bills longer than that, and with far less whitespace and fancy, full-paged graphics introducing each one-page section.
I don't care that this is idle. I just don't care.
Seriously, what the hell
But I expect professionals in the business world to dress like professionals...not like your golfing buddy or a streetwalker...unless your golfing buddy also happens to be a streetwalker, but I digress...
dress codes are bullshit. Total bullshit. Go to a bank in Italy on a summer's day, for instance. You'll find the clerks are dressed way down from what you'd see in the US. No tie, open shirt collar. And you know what? You won't have any sense that they're "unprofessional". Whatever that means. Ride the train through Switzerland. A conductor with an earring may well greet you. He did me. And he did his work efficiently.
What I'm saying is that the whole "dress code" is largely US-centric. That's not to say there are no rules of dress -- I've had the pleasure of getting thrown out of a store right off the beach in the South of France for not wearing a shirt. But just as hard-working Europeans still feel justified in demanding 5 weeks of holiday and are less inclined to put in 60-hour weeks, they show up for work dressed neatly but not in the uniform that's demanded of their American counterparts. The thing that's amazing to me is that most people posting here clearly feel the uniform is justified. What do you care if the guy in the bank has a tie on or not? Why should any employer have that kind of power over you?
What an apostrophical disaster. It's the apostrocalypse!
It is French? Go figure. I could not find a page titled "Do" neither.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
I say chaps. Very good of you to offer instructions for Four-in-Hand, Windsor and Double Windsor for new johnnies who haven't a clue how to tie a tie but really, I am not sure I could work for a company that won't let me choose the far more elegant Prince Albert.
(to be fair the guide doesn't say other ways of tying a tie are prohibited)
In fact, every time i see those overdressed goons in their ties and stuff i keep asking myself what they DON'T have and try to cover up with this clownesque outfit.. competence ?
The swiss love rules. everyplace i went in the interlocken area was loaded with signs telling you what you can't do. They ranged from fairly benign (and obvious) like, "No Euros Accepted", to the mildly inconvenient, "Men, do not urinate standing up."
Sure, it's a stereotype, but every time i hear about the swiss and their rules i chuckle a little bit. I also think about how incredibly gorgeous Switzerland was and i'd like to go back.
we traditionally wear onion belts, you insensitive clod!
(I think I got two or three points there.)
You should take a look at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plyS8sIUjmQ&feature=player_embedded
I read the presentation and it's utterly reasonable: UBS argues it is imperative for all (public-facing) people to present an impeccable, professional appearance to clients. If anything, it is a return to the dress code policies of the corporate world of yesteryear. For example, the IBM 1980s used to give their male employees precisely one choice as to what to wear, and, in fact, most Japanese companies still do so.
I had all the opportunities in my life to make a career in the corporate world, but I ignored them all from the begining.
I always knew it was the correct thing, and now I'm more convinced than ever.
Big egos, ambition, tripping, lying, back stabbing, hypocrisy, betrayal and the list goes on...
I just hope Assange fulfills his promisse to leak more bombs, so I can see those yuppies carrying their carton boxes out of their office...
I'm surprised no one has even mentioned the very attractive woman who's suing Citi because she was terminated for "being too much of a distraction for the male employees." And she was wearing normal business formalwear... http://abovethelaw.com/2010/06/woman-claims-she-was-fired-for-being-too-attractive/
Not bad compared to:
http://www.af.mil/shared/media/epubs/afi36-2903.pdf
Who is this that even the wind and the waves obey Him? Surely this computer must submit also!
For those who don't understand why it's important for people to dress well to look professional, here are some reasons why:
1) When you work at your job, you're not here to make a statement. The people who deal with you, whether they are customers, colleagues or your boss, want to know that you are reliable and can do your work seriously. They don't care that you don't want to wear shoes because you're a hippy who wants to feel "close to the Earth", an anarchist who dislikes organization, a rapper who doesn't wear a belt because he doesn't like the police or some Lady Gaga who wants to show how unique she is. The people who deal with you want your clothes to reflect your professional qualities.
2) Clothes that are intentionally kept dirty or damaged (with holes or ripped parts) do not show an ability to take care of yourself. Someone may think you are lazy or not responsible.
Clothes that don't match make you look disorganized.
Clothes that make a statement make you look like you're not focused on your job and your engagement for causes other than your jobs affect your work.
Clothes that try to make you stand out make you look like you don't want to conform to your role in the company you work in. It's good to be creative, but employees need to do their job or otherwise no work gets done.
3) I'm sure everyone who wears clothes to make some statement agrees - we should get to know people before judging them, not just look at their clothes. Well, if everyone at work is wearing a suit, you'll have to talk together during lunch break to get to know each other. If people wear what they want, some may be tempted to judge others by their clothing which could even lead to tensions between employees. Get other people to know you by what you have to say, not by the way you dress.
4) Suits are not cheap. Wearing a suit means you earn a lot of money, which implies that you're good at your job.
5) Suits are fairly neutral. If any dresscode must be enforced, then suits is something everyone can agree on. I don't think it would be so easy to make all employees adopt spiked hair or pants worn knee-height/thong sticking out the back of your skirt.
6) Suits identify you. Janitors usually wear a uniform, security wears a uniform... You want to be able to tell who's a banker/lawyer/businessman and who's a customer or visitor as much as possible.
7) Suits look good, period.
8) As a famous contemporary philosopher would say, suits are LEGEEEEN- wait for it...
1. Invite the authors of that dress code to visit where I work.
2. Their heads asplode.
3. Profit!!
They have some very nice diagrams for explaining how to tie a helf / full windsor knot in your tie.
I actually wouldn't mind an English translation. Seems like a good style guide.
Should avoid working for this bank!
that a woman can wear a shirt in which you can see everything down to her waiste when she bends over but I get special training to avoid looking and could get a violation and coaching I did.
I don't mind if they do this. I mind that I would get in trouble for "elevator eyes".
They would do the same thing if I had a v neck shirt open to 3" above my belly button.
Hell, I can see the bottom of their bra sometimes when they don't bend over and sometimes don't see the bottom of a bra.
She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
If you dress like the guy in Assassin's Creed, people tend to assume you're important.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I recently opened an account in UBS and I must say, the female staff were all dressed in rather stylish form-fitting pantsuits. In comparison their male counterparts looked decidedly more homely. I wonder if this policy has not been introduced to bring some equality between the sexes.
"to establish fashion 'dos' "
What is Fashion DOS ? Is it some sort of new operating system? Is it open source?
This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.
You're wrong for the UK. See here. In the PDF of examples there's a woman wearing a veil that covers her face, and it's marked "unaccepteble".
To be fair, there are also plenty of people in suits that don't understand why the ripped jeans and t-shirt crowd doesn't think they're cool.
Doubtful. Today's suits were yesterday 60-70s hippies with long hair and ripped jeans and t-shirts or 70-80s punk rockers with a purple mohawk and ripped jeans and t-shirts. ;-)
If you think about it for a moment, you will see that it is kind of silly that you're only taken seriously if you tie a strip of cloth around your neck tight enough to slightly restrict blood flow to your brain. Beyond avoiding holes where they shouldn't be and not being offensive, it is all rather arbitrary and even childishly silly.
Not at all, there is actually science behind the concept of dress codes. Basically the idea is to dress to meet the expectations of the customer, client, potential employer, etc - basically the person you are trying to influence. Non-verbal communication is an important part of building credibility and appearance is part of that communication. Dressing to expectations is just leveraging the workings of the human mind.
Feel free to visit my site.
http://benchmark-lending-group.blogspot.com/
Merry Christmas.
Chears.
With a dress code. There are some people in this world that shouldn't be wearing the clothes they're wearing. We've all seen them. Regardless of what you look like physically (read as naked), with the proper clothing, anyone can become a real looker. UBS, being the type of company it is, expects their people to dress professionally so they attract "professional customers" (read into that what you will). I would certainly hope they pay their employees enough to keep a nice wardrobe, the type of clothes they want you to wear, you won't be buying at Walmart.
In the long run, if the money is right, it's only part of your life. Just think, when you get home, you can dress up in the spouse's clothing and go have a blast....or not.
E&Y, PWC, Arse-enter and many more global companies also have such lengthy and strict documents describing with precision styles and shades of suites, shirts, skirts, stockings, shoes....
... If you have exceedingly long dress code standard (and because it is so long it allows for quite a lot of leeway in terms of what you actually can wear) then what you wear to work effectively becomes a uniform.
Uniforms purchased for work are tax deductible.
Just sayin'
Corollary to Hanlon's razor: Any significantly advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.
so you're exposing your Prince Albert at work?
What do you do for life? Test porn?
I worked for an investment bank, that had Casual Fridays, and in most cases the dress down was adopted by all very well.....till one day someone wore a French Connection T-Shirt to the office with the "FCUK" logo in six inch letters on the front....the office setup meant that client meetings were all around the building, so everyone need to be presentable all the time...and this put an end to Casual Friday's.....
We have all seen AC naked. It is Goatse.
The first company I worked for was a small software company and the dress code only listed what the men could and couldn't wear (shirts & ties every day, no jeans, the only loophole I could find was no mention of shoes, so I wore my Converse high tops with my suit...). I asked the boss how come it was only for men and since there was only one woman working there he said "Angie already knows how to dress."
Our boss, who enforced the dress code in the office spent two to three weeks a month at our biggest client's office out of state. The client had casual Fridays and the boss would tell us on the phone how nice it was not to dress up every day while he was there, but still wouldn't relent and let us dress casual on Fridays in our own office.
The dress code was based on the philosophy "you have to dress like an accounting to write accounting software." The next company where I worked the accounting department mostly came to work in tie dye and Birkenstock sandals, and according to someone, were out smoking dope in the parking lot during their lunch breaks...
ahahhaha..........
'dress code' never means the same thing for IT..........
The bank in question has several different dress codes for different staff in different locations. I don't think there is a single global dress code. Certainly the "leaked" dress code applies to many fewer people than the various news reports might lead you to believe.
The code in question is for reception and event staff and chaffeurs/chaffeuses, not for your average trader, back office guy or IT support tech. It was drawn up specially in conjunction with a bank branch renovation programme and refers, in part, to company-provided business wear.
Notwithstanding the above, the document is very detailed and has some excellent advice for the aspiring corporate clone, especially the slightly smellier just-out-of-college kind. The pictures and presentation style are a hoot as well.
lol ! (really ... lol)
(no, really ... lol, who the fuck works for a company with a dress code ...? isn't that where all the shit starts ?)
beware he who denies you access to information for in his mind, he already deems himself to be your master (SMAC-ish)
Law enforcement here requires clip-on ties so that criminals can't strangle officers with them. If bank robberies were more prevalent, I'd expect the financial sector to take the same precautions.
Also, perhaps the bank requires all its male employees to use a double-Windsor so the handbook of instructions state how to properly execute that particular knot.
kamize, hajib, burka, if it covers your face, its a mask.