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Pakistan Bans 1600 Words and Phrases For Texting

Hugh Pickens writes "In a move reminiscent of George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV, the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority has handed down a ban on about 1,600 terms and phrases it has deemed obscene and told carriers they have seven days to block the words on their networks, or face legal action. 'The filtering is not good for the system and may degrade the quality of network services — plus it would be a great inconvenience to our subscribers if their SMS was not delivered due to the wrong choice of words,' says an official at a one of the telecoms. The list includes such words and phrases as 'idiot,' 'monkey crotch,' 'athlete's foot,' 'damn,' 'deeper,' 'four twenty,' 'fornicate,' 'looser,' and 'go to hell,' among others. There are also various double entendres included in the ban such as 'beat your meat' or 'flogging the dolphin.' Mohammad Younis, a spokesman for the PTA, says the ban is 'the result of numerous meetings and consultations with stakeholders' after consumers complained of receiving offensive text messages. 'Nobody would like this happening to their young boy or girl.'"

356 comments

  1. Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    That's going to make giving instructions difficult. I hope no-one's working with an IPL over IM over there.

    1. Re:Looser? by Delarth799 · · Score: 1

      Because its Pakistan I can't tell if they meant loser or if they were serious, it makes it even more difficult since they also seem to deem athlete's foot offensive.

    2. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      IPL = Illustrated Parts List, for all of you software people.

    3. Re:Looser? by syousef · · Score: 1, Funny

      Because its Pakistan I can't tell if they meant loser or if they were serious, it makes it even more difficult since they also seem to deem athlete's foot offensive.

      Reminds me of some very bad porn a work colleague at a former employer I won't name showed me. Hint: Feet don't belong there, you're doing it wrong!

      --
      These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
    4. Re:Looser? by theshowmecanuck · · Score: 2, Insightful

      flog your dolphin

      At 7-11 doesn't that mean the same thing as sell tuna?

      --
      -- I ignore anonymous replies to my comments and postings.
    5. Re:Looser? by Z00L00K · · Score: 2

      IPL = Initial Program Loader

      --
      If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
    6. Re:Looser? by mangu · · Score: 2

      OK, I get it now. It becomes looser after an athlete inserts his foot there.

      The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority seems to have a weird taste for porn...

    7. Re:Looser? by Tomato42 · · Score: 2

      Institute for Penalizing Laughter

    8. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      IPL = In Pakastani Language

    9. Re:Looser? by swalve · · Score: 1

      "You pressed *WHAT* button!!?!??!"

    10. Re:Looser? by cgenman · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Animal lovers will appreciate the banning of the words "Cockfight," and "Pussy Cat." Rich people will get behind "Deposit," "Penthouse," and "Showtime." Reporters will love "Hostage," "Kill," "Murder," "Suicide," "Sniper," and presumably "Stupid." Construction workers seem to get the best with the banning of "Deeper," "Back Door," "Laid," "Banging," "Dome," "Harder," "Hole," "Joint," "Period," "Slant," "Screw," and "Budweiser." Everyone else will get behind the banning of such horrible words as "Creamy," "Jugs," and "K Mart." And pretty much all feminine hygiene is, by definition, unhygienic.

      Strangely, they banned both root words and modifiers of root words... like calling out ass AND ass clown, ass banger, etc. It's like they don't know how filtering, or words, work. Also, they banned the phrases "XXX" which is, itself, a censor word to represent something else.

    11. Re:Looser? by Gadget_Guy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Because its Pakistan I can't tell if they meant loser or if they were serious...

      As soon as I saw 'looser' on the list, I thought that they can't be all that evil. We do need a concerted effort to eliminate this example of stupidity. It seems rare these days to find anyone spelling "loser" correctly. Ignorant loosers!

      But seriously, this list seems a bit dubious to me. Why would a country so paranoid about having bad things said about the Prophet Mohammed only include Jesus Christ on the list as a blasphemy? Why would a country that was once a part of the British Empire (and as such, still has English as on of its official languages) have one word on the list with the British spelling "arse", and 71 words with the American spelling "ass"? Why would there be no attempt to include the deliberate misspellings, abbreviations and contractions that are typical of texters?

      It could be that they simply sourced a list of words from elsewhere, but it seems strange that they would not tailor it to their own country's requirements.

    12. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Man, "looser" just cracked me up! I had to check and "loser" is simply not on the list. They also misspelt "incest".

      Here are some more brilliant entries:
      "hole", "joint", "harder", "tongue", "kill", "lotion", and "screw".

    13. Re:Looser? by Taty'sEyes · · Score: 1

      I thought 7-11 had the Slurpee?

      --
      We show geeks how to get their dream girl at EyesOfOdessa.com
    14. Re:Looser? by ewanm89 · · Score: 1

      "Want to come around and grab my DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar, I'll leave the back door key under the mat so you can let yourself in. The door is playing up recently so you may have to pull it a little harder than usual to lock it up, I expect it's just a screw loose in one of the hinges."

    15. Re:Looser? by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 1

      Semprini?

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
    16. Re:Looser? by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 0

      looser (n.) One whose greater penile girth ruins another for being pleasured by anyone with lesser (origin: teenage girl slang, often accompanied by a thumb-and-forefinger gesture to the forehead).

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
    17. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bunch of l00zer3 they are...

    18. Re:Looser? by anubi · · Score: 2

      My parent clearly shows why this is a loser.

      People will just code around the blocked words.

      However, this will make for much frustration from people trying to have a significant conversation and inadvertently step on banned words.

      Read the list . (Same as above, I just copied it here to give you another whack at it.)

      Way too many common words used in meaningful conversations are on that list.

      I believe that 98% of the phrases on that list are indeed used for nothing else other than naughty texting. But what's to say that other "naughty words" will quickly be coined and substituted for the censored ones?

      We cannot enforce morality through technology and censorship like this. It will just frustrate everyone.

      --
      "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]

    19. Re:Looser? by grcumb · · Score: 5, Funny

      Strangely, they banned both root words and modifiers of root words... like calling out ass AND ass clown, ass banger, etc. It's like they don't know how filtering, or words, work.

      Kind of a shame they didn't use regex-based word subsbreastutions, though perhaps they didn't feel enbreastled to make any bumumptions.

      --
      Crumb's Corollary: Never bring a knife to a bun fight.
    20. Re:Looser? by milkywayer · · Score: 5, Informative

      Being a Pakistan who knows all the BS the current government has been doing (or not doing) for the past 4 years. This is insane. They failed at everything else, there's daily power loadshedding/blackouts, 2,3 days a week CNG (gas) blackouts, loads of corruption. And then they come out with strange moves like this out of no where to divert people's attention. This was really uncalled for. The only thing that every teenager and college student texts almost once a day is prank/hate messages about the current corrupt president Zardari, I wouldn't be surprised if there was 'Zardari' listed somewhere in those words.

    21. Re:Looser? by rtb61 · · Score: 2

      Seemingly a random and disassociated list. Obvious purpose make it more palatable as more politically aligned words are added to the list. Silence private communication between individuals associated with the political opposition. After texts comes voice.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    22. Re:Looser? by Vastad · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Why would a country so paranoid about having bad things said about the Prophet Mohammed only include Jesus Christ on the list as a blasphemy

      Ummm...because if they censored the words "Prophet" and/or "Mohammed", that would be censoring a pillar of the Muslim faith? How would the righteous and moral doublegood citizens of Pakistan discuss the most important person in their lives? Or is this a test....?

      Jesus is a prophet but not THE Prophet in Islam, so that's OK to make sure the infidels don't get to sell that silly concept outside of their strange cult.

      More importantly though, this is actually a good thing. Why? Because we can look to Urdu - the national language of Pakistan - becoming the source of an entirely new and titillating orgy of euphemisms and slang that will defeat this list and that can never adapt effectively to counter it. The authorities have unwittingly introduced chaos and creativity into the very evolution of their national language. In less than a year, I make a gentlemen's bet that there will be their equivalent of the Number 1 Top 40 hit by their equivalent of Justin Bieber or Duffy belting out lyrics about "big tracts of land" and "brown roses with small petals" that will have the older generation pleased at the agricultural bent of the song.....and the young'uns practically creaming themselves in laughter.

    23. Re:Looser? by MLease · · Score: 1

      Semprini?

      OUT!!!

      --
      I'm sorry; I don't know what I was thinking!
    24. Re:Looser? by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

      I find your misspellings to be highly inflammatory and vastly funny!

      --
      Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
    25. Re:Looser? by L4t3r4lu5 · · Score: 1

      Institute for Penalizing Laughter

      Heh.

      --
      Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
    26. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The very fact they're trying to do it should tell you that they don't know what the hell they are doing and are a few levels beyond incompetent.

    27. Re:Looser? by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      Note that all the words are in English though, not the native language of most people living in Pakistan. The people who came up with the list don't seem to understand English very well, and chances are it is ripped off from somewhere else.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    28. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A clbuttic mistake.

    29. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They forgot goatsee and 'two girls and one cup'.

      (or did they...)

    30. Re:Looser? by DigitalGoetz · · Score: 1

      I think Gadget_Guy meant why the list only included Jesus Christ and not the whole slew of other contemporary dieties. That said, I totally look forward to the world getting an influx of imported Urdu slang. The only way they can truly curb this is to perform a 100% 1984 move and just turn that list of 1600 words and replace it with a list of ONLY 1600 speakable/writable worlds. Even then, the almighty innuendo will fight the good fight.

    31. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Podiatrists should complain too. Why "athlete's foot?" Actually, you know what? Never mind. I probably don't want to know what else people use that term for...

    32. Re:Looser? by Terranex · · Score: 1

      Lots of people over there are named Mohammed so putting that on a ban list would be like putting John or Jack on a list in the West, they're not THAT dumb.

    33. Re:Looser? by Anomalyst · · Score: 1

      Does this mean they Mohammed-off?

      --
      There is no right to feel safe thru security vaudeville at the expense of everyone's freedom, privacy and tax money.
    34. Re:Looser? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How can this kind of health issue be modded redundant??? People here are deriding the poor Pakistani government for this issue, and yet how can they curb this kind of social disease when moderators want to hide these nasty truths? Please mod parent up insightful.

    35. Re:Looser? by Vastad · · Score: 1

      That's a fair point. My guess is there is already entrenched prejudice against Hinduism (i.e. the wonderful history they have with their neighbour India) and illiteracy takes care of everything else.

    36. Re:Looser? by EdIII · · Score: 1

      They also banned "four twenty". A number. Of course it references drug use among college students, but still... a number?

  2. monkey crotch? by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 1

    well, all I can say to that is:

    newsletter. immediately.

    (wonders what I have been missing all these years)

    --

    --
    "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    1. Re:monkey crotch? by jo42 · · Score: 1, Interesting

      Bumfuckistan!

    2. Re:monkey crotch? by Greyfox · · Score: 1, Funny

      I see Monkeycrotch.com has already been registered. I look forward to them getting their web site set up.

      --

      I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  3. four twenty! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    lol deeper loosers!

    1. Re:four twenty! by indeterminator · · Score: 3, Funny

      That's how the French say 80.

    2. Re:four twenty! by Mr+Z · · Score: 2

      And Abe Lincoln.

      Something tells me, though, it refers to reefer in this context.

    3. Re:four twenty! by Stormwatch · · Score: 1

      Most of them. But in some regions, as well as in Switzerland, they're sensible enough to use septante/huitante/nonante instead of that vigesimal crap.

    4. Re:four twenty! by mangu · · Score: 1

      A French guy once told me they abolished "septante" in France in shame after their defeat to Germany in World War 0 in 1870.

    5. Re:four twenty! by Kozar_The_Malignant · · Score: 1

      Yet another instance of Belgian superiority.

      --
      Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
    6. Re:four twenty! by Rob+the+Bold · · Score: 1

      And Abe Lincoln.

      Something tells me, though, it refers to reefer in this context.

      A Gettysburg Address joke? Why not, we are nerds here.

      --
      I am not a crackpot.
    7. Re:four twenty! by GuB-42 · · Score: 1

      It is actually much older : the Académie française (founded in 1634) never accepted the "septante" form. It fact it is a strange mashup of a base-10 and a base-20 system.

  4. ROFL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why is athlete's foot on this list?

    1. Re:ROFL by masternerdguy · · Score: 1

      Maybe they think you might be able to get it from locker rooms while flogging the dolphin?

      --
      To offset political mods, replace Flamebait with Insightful.
    2. Re:ROFL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      More importantly Why did athletes foot win out over tubesteak and shitistan

    3. Re:ROFL by Slashdot+Assistant · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      It's the "Islamic Republic" of Pakistan. You expect anything sensible to come out of a country that's happy to be subservient to the arabs' plagiarized and highly retarded excuse for a religion?

      Pakistan would be little more than an amusing punchline to many jokes if it weren't eye-to-eye with India, playing stupid fucking war games with a country that is seemingly doing its best to be as retarded as Pakistan. Imagine Kansas with nuclear weapons, it's as scary as that.

    4. Re:ROFL by haruchai · · Score: 3, Interesting

      They have a very inflated view of themselves, which is reflected in their country's name - Pakistan means Land of the Pure.

      --
      Pain is merely failure leaving the body
    5. Re:ROFL by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 2

      Imagine Kansas with nuclear weapons,

      truly, a point of know return.

      (been waiting *decades* to use that joke. NOW, what do I do?)

      --

      --
      "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    6. Re:ROFL by MurukeshM · · Score: 3, Insightful

      When the countries split, most things were split - wealth, population, what have you. But the amount of stupidity was duplicated.

    7. Re:ROFL by aaaaaaargh! · · Score: 3, Informative

      In India, showing your bare feet to someone is extremely offensive. There are similar traditions in Pakistan so it probably is part of an insult of some sort. Just a guess though.

    8. Re:ROFL by Billlagr · · Score: 1

      ESPECIALLY if you have a foot fungal growth!

    9. Re:ROFL by ewanm89 · · Score: 1

      Tom Lehreh got it right in Who's Next, with Alabama.

    10. Re:ROFL by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      As someone I know once said, never project your cultural views on another nation. Meaning, they will never view or treat you the same way in which you do. Pakistan had better be careful whom they piss off. India is mainly Hindu. They wouldn't have the compunction to force an entire nation to take another spin at the wheel of life. Of all the nations on Earth, a conflict between those two could easily go Nuclear in a hurry.

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    11. Re:ROFL by asto21 · · Score: 1

      Not really. Regardless of how stupid they are, Pakistanis don't really want to die. India could wipe out Pakistan in a nuclear war significantly faster than they can take us out. What is worrying though is that China is giving them a hand with their military arsenal. Without their help, I wouldn't be surprised if Pakistan blows itself up with its weapons. It is what they're usually good at, no? :-D But all speculation apart, I really hope it doesn't come down to a nuclear (or any) war.

    12. Re:ROFL by asto21 · · Score: 1

      No, it's not. People often confuse India as some sort of homogenous territory as far as culture is concerned. Traditions can vary greatly between different areas of the country. Personally, I have yet to meet someone here who is offended by my feet. o_0

    13. Re:ROFL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No. F**kistan is playing games with US, sucking billions of dollars and protecting Laden.

    14. Re:ROFL by trojjan · · Score: 2

      I've been India all my life and never heard that. In fact in most places of worship(temples etc.) you are required to remove your foot wear and go bare feet, thus exposing them.

    15. Re:ROFL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And of course this Assistant knows best coz Fox News told him so! American ignorance of other cultures would be laughable, if it weren't for the fact that it continues to feed the most destructive War Machine known to man.

    16. Re:ROFL by schroedingers_hat · · Score: 1

      Yeah! How dare they plagarise the Torah like that!

  5. Oh that's sure gonna work by Opportunist · · Score: 5, Funny

    After all we know how ppl using txt spel pfectly an don abbrev any wrds.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    1. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by mysidia · · Score: 2

      After all we know how ppl using txt spel pfectly an don abbrev any wrds.

      I'm sure they anticipated that... that's why the 1600 word/phase list is probably 1600 variants of the phrase "F**** the PTA" or "The Pakistan Telecom authority sucks"

    2. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by Opportunist · · Score: 5, Insightful

      And as we all know from the early attempts of the MAFIAA to curtail the sharing of music by disallowing the names of certain songs to be part of a file being shared, people will invent creative ways around it. 1600 or 16000 variants, people will find some that will slip through and the info will get shared quickly.

      Censorship doesn't work. People route around it.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    3. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      u hav nt hrd wha thee wil cut offf 4 vilatins yat, genious.

    4. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just another case of that ol' PTA.

    5. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by ben_kelley · · Score: 1

      Except for loser, where you have to add an o when texting.

    6. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by gmhowell · · Score: 1

      After all we know how ppl using txt spel pfectly an don abbrev any wrds.

      I'm sure they anticipated that... that's why the 1600 word/phase list is probably 1600 variants of the phrase
      "F**** the PTA" or "The Pakistan Telecom authority sucks"

      They're trying to steal the thunder of Jeannie C. Riley's mom?

      --
      Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. -John Lennon
    7. Re:Oh that's sure gonna work by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

      The missed a lot of easy ones, like 'azz,' but got 'cumm.' It's a really weird list if you scan through it. 80% is stuff you would expect, but the other 20% is either stupid, 'idiot', or puzzling, 'cumbubble.' Seriously, cumbubble? I never even heard of that 'word' before, but it must be so prevalent that it needs 2 versions on the list ('cum bubble')?! Not to mention 4(!) versions of 'Dixie Dyke.'

      I seriously want to know how this list was generated, and who did the generating. It's the Venn intersection of "Makes Sense (sex slang)," "Normal Words (common usage)," and "Baffling (Dahmer, mother love bone)."

      --
      Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
  6. Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Pakistani users will have 1600 new euphemisms by the end of the week.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_crab_(Internet_slang)

    1. Re:Didn't work in China by flyingsquid · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pakistani users will have 1600 new euphemisms by the end of the week.

      How are we going to replace "flogging the dolphin" though?

      Abusing the porpoise?

      Whipping Flipper?

      Chasing the white whale?

      Shaking hands with Shamu?

      Strangling the Baird's Beaked Whale?

      Grinding the narwhal?

      OK, I've done my part. But we still need to come up with another 1594 new euphemisms for masturbation by Friday.

    2. Re:Didn't work in China by siddesu · · Score: 1

      They are doing it the wrong way. For total security, you don't ban threats proactively, instead you whitelist only the safe stuff. E.g. woodworking terminology is safe, unless you need to polish some rods, and so is cooking, unless you need to choke a snake or two for that aphrodisiac soup.

      Even the loosers win when they apply the tried and tested best security practices.

    3. Re:Didn't work in China by siddesu · · Score: 1

      you don't ban threats proactively

      Or retroactively, for that matter. Knowing all security practices backwards has me making mistakes at times. Backdoors, backdoors ...

    4. Re:Didn't work in China by tempest69 · · Score: 5, Funny

      discipline flipper

      But perhaps the better euphemisms are the ones that would have normal meanings--

      Shifting into third
      Grabbing Some Lamb
      Avoiding Traffic
      Out Shopping
      Hailing a Cab
      In a Meeting
      Discuss it over lunch
      Spinach

      If your mind just made up a whole bunch of messed up meanings for those euphemisms, then you might need serious help.
      Though enough words as euphemisms, and nobody will be able to reliably text..

    5. Re:Didn't work in China by larry+bagina · · Score: 2

      "going to Penn State"

      --
      Do you even lift?

      These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.

    6. Re:Didn't work in China by mangu · · Score: 0

      That will be good for them. Some expressions are much funnier when replaced by euphemisms.

      My favorite: "putting Mike Tyson to swim". Explanation: it involves dropping a brownish colored thing into a body of water.

    7. Re:Didn't work in China by bobstreo · · Score: 4, Funny

      Occupying Wall Street

    8. Re:Didn't work in China by kermidge · · Score: 0

      Or move to dry land and wax the bean, polish the rocket, choke the chicken, pull the pud, oil the pipe, stretch the rope, grease the pole, baste the kielbasa, brush the hot dog.... Or, if one must, massage Nemo.

    9. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Even whitelisting doesn't work.

      http://habitatchronicles.com/2007/03/the-untold-history-of-toontowns-speedchat-or-blockchattm-from-disney-finally-arrives/

      "We spent several weeks building a UI that used pop-downs to construct sentences, and only had completely harmless words – the standard parts of grammar and safe nouns like cars, animals, and objects in the world."
      "We thought it was the perfect solution, until we set our first 14-year old boy down in front of it. Within minutes he’d created the following sentence:
      I want to stick my long-necked Giraffe up your fluffy white bunny.

    10. Re:Didn't work in China by kheldan · · Score: 1

      I don't know why you're posting as AC when what you're saying is 100% true. Forum and chat moderators since before the Internet was publicly-available have been trying to censor in this fashion, and all have found that it's a losing proposition: people will find ways around any wordfilter. Remember leet-speak?

      --
      Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
    11. Re:Didn't work in China by Mr.+Shotgun · · Score: 4, Funny

      http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/masturbation-male
      My favorite: Warming up the alter boys dinner.

      --
      Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the (supposed) good of its victims may be the most oppressive
    12. Re:Didn't work in China by martin-boundary · · Score: 3, Funny
      Beat you're meat?

      As a grammar Nazi, I request that somebody kill me now, please!

    13. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Shifting into third

      That one makes a bit of sense as a euphemism; gear shifts are sort of phallic...

    14. Re:Didn't work in China by petman · · Score: 2

      Or you could just use the proper spelling for "masturbate", which, ironically, is not in the list.

    15. Re:Didn't work in China by identity0 · · Score: 1

      Here in Portland we just call that 'Tuesday'.

    16. Re:Didn't work in China by Xachariah · · Score: 1

      It's Pakistan.

      I suggest 'Worshiping Mohammad"

    17. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Woosh.

    18. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      FTW!

    19. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In my bunk.

    20. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      or Pakistan-govermenting yourself....

    21. Re:Didn't work in China by jazzmachine · · Score: 1

      Occupying Wall Street

      Where a number of instances of police *roughing up the suspect* have been observed...

    22. Re:Didn't work in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I was reading this posting mindlessly, not noticing what you had written, and i thought"what about normal phrases like "talk to my parents"?" then i noticed thats what you were proposing. Grabbing some lamb sounds pretty racy though.

  7. Hey now everybody chill by wjcofkc · · Score: 5, Funny

    After all: It's for the children! Right?

    --
    Brought to you by Carl's Junior.
    1. Re:Hey now everybody chill by theshowmecanuck · · Score: 1

      They are thinking of the Taliban. Mentally the same thing.

      --
      -- I ignore anonymous replies to my comments and postings.
    2. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Ethanol-fueled · · Score: 4, Insightful

      It's for the children! Right?

      Not in a country where it's legal for a 60 year-old man to marry a 4 year-old girl, mate with her, then throw acid in her face and stone her to death for not wearing a burqa.

    3. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Somebody got a huge bill for their daughters texting and decided that the only way to end this problem was to censor the hell out of SMS so that saner and cheaper methods of exchanging vacuous phrases can replace the telecom's cash cow.

    4. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      All of those things happen in Pakistan, but each one is illegal except for one*.

      - Age of consent for marriage is 18 for males & 16 for females under Muslim Family Laws Ordinance 1961. Underage marriages are illegal.
      - Throwing acid in a person's face was explicitly criminalized in May of this year and can get you life in prison. Under older Muslim law, the victim had the right to return the favor and have acid dribbled in the eyes of her attacker.
      - Burqa wearing is optional and largely AFAIK common mostly in areas that border Afghanistan. Stoning a woman to death for not wearing a burqa is murder.

      * The one legal bit you implied was forcing your wife to have sex. Pakistani law requires that the victim not be legally married to the perpetrator in its definition of rape, just like in many US states up until North Carolina was the last to close the loophole in 1993. Many states still don't protect a woman if she's incapacitated and unable to refuse her husband.

    5. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I thought that was only allowed for the holy prophet to shack up with a young one.

    6. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Mashiki · · Score: 4, Informative

      That's nice. But the AOC isn't enforced outside of major cities. Pakistan is quickly sliding into a imperialist islamist shithole. Meaning that sharia is the law of the day, and a wife or women who isn't subservient is disrespectful of their man, and in turn god. And where the whole sharia law thing has kicked into full gear, there's no such thing as rape. Unless you can find 8 male witnesses. And of course you can't rape your wife, she has to submit.

      The Burqa is also becoming a 'norm' throughout the country as the government tries to appease the hardliners. Keep up with the times AC.

      --
      Om, nomnomnom...
    7. Re:Hey now everybody chill by gmhowell · · Score: 1

      I thought that was only allowed for the holy prophet to shack up with a young one.

      Are we talking about Islam or LDS?

      --
      Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. -John Lennon
    8. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Please don't start a war on Canada.

    9. Re:Hey now everybody chill by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you haven't noticed, hardliners are taking over in lotsa places around the world, including down here in the US. It's the constant cycle of struggle between the modern and the traditional worldviews.

  8. Jesus Christ by cwebb1977 · · Score: 0

    Is forbidden, even without f inbetween. There's just no freedom in muslim countries.

    --
    www.weberseite.at
    1. Re:Jesus Christ by SeNtM · · Score: 1

      There is no freedom in any country...only the illusion of it. In the US, our founders where aware of this and several of them were supporters of complete government dismantlement at various intervals.

      --
      "There ought to be limits to freedom." -George W. Bush
    2. Re:Jesus Christ by Z00L00K · · Score: 3, Insightful

      What you do is to give people a lot of freedom somewhere while you take it away in other places.

      And when people aren't good behaving citizens then you pepper spray them.

      Freedom is what you think you have, reality is that you may be free to express what you think in the western world but as soon as you act upon your opinions to get others to listen then you are a danger to the order.

      --
      If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
    3. Re:Jesus Christ by ewanm89 · · Score: 1

      "Let the Bhudda guide you to enlightenment." Is fine on the list. Infact if you look at the list, it's only Christian religious stuff that is banned (and a tiny bit of Jewish in using the same terminology for God).

    4. Re:Jesus Christ by Chrisq · · Score: 1

      Is forbidden, even without f inbetween. There's just no freedom in muslim countries.

      This is to stop discussuins of christianity, which they see as offensive.

  9. The only appropriate response by presidenteloco · · Score: 2

    to Pakistan government on this one is

    g o t o h e l l a n d f o r n i c a t e you l o o s e r i d i o t s

    --

    Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
    1. Re:The only appropriate response by renedox · · Score: 3, Funny

      a t h l e t e ' s f o o t

    2. Re:The only appropriate response by syousef · · Score: 1

      to Pakistan government on this one is

      g o t o h e l l a n d f o r n i c a t e you l o o s e r i d i o t s

      You want them to breed?

      --
      These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
    3. Re:The only appropriate response by lennier · · Score: 5, Funny

      g o t o h e l l

      You had to say it, didn't you? You had to say that one little four-letter word. You couldn't just say "call hell" or "eval hell" or "do hell while true" or even "gosub hell". No, you had to put yourself right there beyond the bounds of civilised discourse and say The Word.

      Consider yourself harmful indeed, sir!

      --
      You are not a brain: http://books.google.com/books?id=2oV61CeDx-YC
    4. Re:The only appropriate response by Llian · · Score: 0

      d o y o u k n o w h o w t o s p e l l a t a l l ? o r d i d y o u l e a r n a l l y o u r s p e l l i n g f r o m o t h e r p e o l p e s t e x t m e s s a g e s ?

    5. Re:The only appropriate response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      d o y o u k n o w h o w t o s p e l l a t a l l ? o r d i d y o u l e a r n a l l y o u r s p e l l i n g f r o m o t h e r p e o l p e s t e x t m e s s a g e s ?

      " p e o l p e s " ? T h a t h o l e i n y o u r g l a s s h o u s e m u s t b e d i s a s t r o u s f o r y o u r h e a t b i l l . . .

    6. Re:The only appropriate response by Z00L00K · · Score: 1

      G-TFO.

      --
      If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
    7. Re:The only appropriate response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In fact he learnt it from ancient Romans, who did not use any punctuation at all in written latin.

    8. Re:The only appropriate response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think he's talking to the less strict idiots.

    9. Re:The only appropriate response by camperdave · · Score: 5, Funny

      g o t o h e l l

      You had to say it, didn't you? You had to say that one little four-letter word. You couldn't just say "call hell" or "eval hell" or "do hell while true" or even "gosub hell".

      The implication is that there is no return. Gosub hell indeed.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    10. Re:The only appropriate response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Niklaus Wirth has a patent on that word. I think you owe him a quarter.

    11. Re:The only appropriate response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      looser idiots?

      really?

    12. Re:The only appropriate response by Hyperhaplo · · Score: 1

      The implication is that he is sending someone to hell for a short amount of time, and yes, they will be back, and will go there again..

      Eg, sending someone to work

      gosub work = gosub hell

      ?

      --
      You have a sick, twisted mind. Please subscribe me to your newsletter.
  10. Darn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    But what do they really think this is going to accomplish, other than invention of a new vocabulary?

    1. Re:Darn by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 1

      It's actually a plot to boost telcom profits by selling more voice and data services. The new and increasingly creative(and disturbing) euphemisms will proliferate at such speed that it will soon be impossible to have even the remotest confidence that any given SMS message (even if checked for lewdness before sending) will not end up being blacklisted and dropped before delivery...

    2. Re:Darn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      heres a point - do you still have to pay for the SMS you sent and they blocked?

  11. Do me a favour by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Do me is also on the lis...

  12. Spelling like a paki. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They are banning the wrong words. They should instead ban "plz", "ppl", "u" (in place of "you"), etc. And not just in SMS; in e-mails too. They are amazingly bad at grammar.

    Which reminds me: what if they write "mnky krotch"? Does it count as breaking the ban?

  13. Controlling communication helps controlling people by Hentes · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought?"

  14. It will not stop Goatse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Goatse the defender of the internet, depite getting modding down everytime it will stretch its ass once more right over the world. It will be fitting the whole 1600 words up its ass to defeat censorship once more!

  15. OK wow by Baloroth · · Score: 3, Insightful

    On the list: "harder". I can understand a**f****r, but "harder"? WTF? (also, they have IDIOT and ID1OT and IDOIT... but not 1D10T. Noobs.)

    Also on the list: lotion and period. Scientists with dry hands are gonna have some difficulties.

    --
    "None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license." --John Milton
    1. Re:OK wow by Hentes · · Score: 1

      There is also 'cock fight' and 'cocktail'. I guess they just copied every word from a dictionary starting with 'cock'.

    2. Re:OK wow by Haedrian · · Score: 4, Funny

      It puts the ***** on its skin

    3. Re:OK wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Along with "blackout", "screw" and "lotion".

      So, this is going to be banned:

      Fatima had a blackout while trying to reach for the antihistamine lotion. We're trying to open the first-aid kit, but it's jammed by a small screw.

    4. Re:OK wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What? Fatima had a small screw? Stone her!

    5. Re:OK wow by MachDelta · · Score: 1

      Tampon is on the list as well as period.

      I'm guessing Pakistani women just fart some fairy dust every month then, no?

    6. Re:OK wow by Whiternoise · · Score: 2

      The list is clearly stolen from elsewhere. A quick Google of some of the more obscure phrases, such as "Purina Princess" yields this:

      http://outsports.com/nfl/2005/0301nflshopnaughtywords.htm

      Surely that's not a coincidence?

    7. Re:OK wow by sincewhen · · Score: 1

      You forgot to end your sentence with a ******.

      --
      -- Braden's law of data: All data spends some of its lifetime in an excel spreadsheet.
    8. Re:OK wow by LongearedBat · · Score: 1

      But... idiot and moron are medical terms for very low IQ. (Or at least they were.)

  16. Easy to get around and disrupted by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    1) It's highly disruptive, with 1600 words/phrases, i'm many legitimate text will get blocked. Most likely, it's a basic block too at the network and won't inform the user

    2) It will be extremely easy to get around. Doing things that are hard to analyse by computer but easy for people to read like adding random spaces, l33t speak, and other things that modify the word. Also, new slang would quickly get into use as well I'd imagine. When things get blocked, people tend to make up new words to convey their meaning.

    1. Re:Easy to get around and disrupted by mysidia · · Score: 4, Informative

      /* badpatterns[1599] = '7H3PT45UX' */
      for(p=text,p2=buffer;*p;p++) { if (!isspace(*p)) *p2++ = LEETMAP(*p); }
      for(i=0;i<1600;i++) {
      result = pcre_exec(badpatterns[i].regex, 0, buffer, strlen(buffer), 0, 0, optvec, sizeof(optvec)/sizeof(optvec[0]));
      if ( result >= 0) {
      national_database[ subscriber_id ].strikes ++;
      (* badpatterns[i].punitive_action) ( national_database[ subscriber_id ].strikes, &gps_position[ subscriber_id], buffer, DISPATCH_POLICE);
      return MSG_BLOCKED;
      }
      }

    2. Re:Easy to get around and disrupted by digitig · · Score: 1

      I once had an email bounced (by the recipient's UK ISP) because the contents were "obscene". The contents? Matthew Arnold's poem Dover Beach. Content of that link NSFW, it seems. At least according to that ISP.

      --
      Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
    3. Re:Easy to get around and disrupted by shikaisi · · Score: 1

      Well how dare you send emails about naked shingles? You wanna know what I think? I think you're some kind of deviated prevert.

      --
      No left turn unstoned.
  17. What could possibly go wrong? by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Has something that wasn't a terrible plan ever been implemented by people who use the phrase "consultations with stakeholders" with a straight face?

    1. Re:What could possibly go wrong? by mbkennel · · Score: 1

      Yes, actually, there's been some pretty fine plans implemented.

      hey flower chicka, i'd love to incent your totally awesome consultations with my stakeholder.

    2. Re:What could possibly go wrong? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think "consultations with stakeholders" is about to make the list, too...

      dom

    3. Re:What could possibly go wrong? by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 1

      Was dialoging with my stakeholder a win-win for you too, Anonymous Coward?

    4. Re:What could possibly go wrong? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are a fucking legend, mate.
      I hereby propose "consulting with the key stakeholder" as a new euphemism for milking the chicken...

      http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/masturbation-male

      Hohoho - Merry Christmas, Mr Helmet !

      I'm dialing in from Hooters - fuck this place has excellent crank ammunition - woof woof !

  18. And this is one way language evolves by oakgrove · · Score: 4, Insightful
    This is fucking stupid for one simple reason.

    Kids and adults alike will just find new ways to say "beat your meat" "go to hell" or whatever in 3..2..1

    The censors cannot possibly hope to keep up.

    --
    The soylentnews experiment has been a dismal failure.
    1. Re:And this is one way language evolves by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      English interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.

    2. Re:And this is one way language evolves by will_die · · Score: 1

      What "flogging the dolphin" and "feed the duck" are not obscure enough?

    3. Re:And this is one way language evolves by oakgrove · · Score: 2

      Heh...much more interested in rocking the little man in the boat!

      --
      The soylentnews experiment has been a dismal failure.
    4. Re:And this is one way language evolves by nurb432 · · Score: 1

      The censors cannot possibly hope to keep up.

      Perhaps they fully understand this and that is all part of the plan, with the eventual goal to ban it completely.

      --
      ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    5. Re:And this is one way language evolves by camperdave · · Score: 2

      The censors cannot possibly hope to keep up.

      Don't think of it as not being able to keep up. Think of it as job security.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
  19. Woefully ineffective by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    And yet "Aw yeah, shoot your hot creamy load all over my face" would get through just fine.

    1. Re:Woefully ineffective by Haedrian · · Score: 3, Informative

      228. Creamy.

      No it won't. On the other hand neither will positive comments about icecream.

    2. Re:Woefully ineffective by ColdWetDog · · Score: 0

      So,

      "Aw yeah shoot your hot load all over my face" is less suggestive?

      The mind boggles.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  20. FILTERS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Pakistan FILTERS x,y,z...

  21. Banned: Juggalo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Some of the banned words are amusing for various reasons. Some have fairly obvious explicit meanings, others do not. Some examples of messages that will be banned after this goes into effect:

    "I am putting a new roof on my house and the stringer length is 18 feet."
    "Did you see the new wuutang clan movie on netflix?"
    "When using distance measuring equipment in aircraft, it measures the slant length between the VOR and the aircraft."
    "When approaching to land, you should retard the throttle abeam the intended landing point."
    "I want to go land at Bremerton Airport, IACO identifier PWT."
    "When running long distances, you should be careful of joint pain in your knees."
    "Calculus is often considered to be a harder class than algebra."
    "Juggalo fatso got jesus" * (All words in this one are banned)

    Wow. This is good stuff. I often wonder what is going on in these people's heads when they come up with lists like this. They are not sane as we know it.

  22. Why ban multiple iterations of words? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This seems kind of fishy. Why ban multiple additions to a banned word?

    i.e. If "fart" is banned, then it would seem that banning "fart face" and "fart knocker" would be redundant. The "fart" in those phrases would already be banned. Somebody knowledgable enough to create this scheme would know that

  23. And the irony is... by wjcofkc · · Score: 5, Funny

    In my original attempt to post I wrote "It's for the children!." in all caps in order to communicate the absurdity to those on Slashdot who don't always think things through and might actually take me seriously. I received the following error: Filter error: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.

    Come on Slashdot, isn't that what we have moderation for?

    --
    Brought to you by Carl's Junior.
    1. Re:And the irony is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sorry, but freedom of speech does not cover the right to yell in text form.
      Why would you even want to yell? Are you a pedophile terrorist?

    2. Re:And the irony is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      SLASHDOT FILTERS ARE EASY TO BEAT!! FOR THIS PARTICULAR FILTER, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO ADD A BUNCH OF NON-CAP TEXT TO BALANCE IT OUT!! IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO MAKE SENSE.

      AND YES, I AM YELLING!!

      As follows: asdfn sdlfkjasd asdfasdfkjljer weoirj wer qwerijf a0sdifu sd09fsd sdfn2 wddfusd 2n sdfosdf sdf ads9 sf lkne2r zc wdf w d w'sfm sdfui sdfma casdfw wdf awdf amsd asd asdm e adf asdf i. dfasdf m. dsf asdf. sdfasdf a asdfasd f. And furthermore, asdfa er qwdfsg oip fandf asdf awerqe 45 g 4 3 rv4r 5hyn ujm cd.

  24. What about... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Fl0991ng t43 D0lp41|\|?

    I predict nothing but success for such censorship.

  25. Not looking good by wasimkadak · · Score: 1

    This is going to seriously dent the Pakistani vocabulary!

  26. That would block all my messages! by syousef · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just last month I sent a text to my boss that read...

    "Hey, monkey crotch! How's your atheletes foot? Any looser? Damn! Quit beating your meat and call idiot!"

    And to my wife...

    "Tired of flogging the dolphin? Let's fornicate!"

    And she replied

    "Go to hell!"

    --
    These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
    1. Re:That would block all my messages! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      To be fair, if she's your wife, it's not fornication.

    2. Re:That would block all my messages! by MimeticLie · · Score: 1

      Who says he was suggesting they do it with each other? Might be why she's mad.

    3. Re:That would block all my messages! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Your wife floggs her dolphin?

      Not that there's anything wrong with that ....

    4. Re:That would block all my messages! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Reminds me of the time I said to my boss:

      Hey asshole! Quit banging my wife or i'll bash your fucking face in.

    5. Re:That would block all my messages! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      thank you, this made me lol so hard at work i cried and had to close my door.

  27. Is this technically feasible? by B1 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I was thinking about this the other day as a technical challenge.

    Assuming their SMS system handles tens of thousands of texts per second, each of which needs to be tested against this user-definable dictionary of 1600 words, is it even possible for the platform to keep up? Are there sophisticated search / pattern matching algorithms for testing a message against 1600 substrings? I can think of a very naive way to do this, but I'm sure it would not scale.

    How would one implement this kind of high-speed pattern matching??

    1. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yea, you are thinking of the O(N^2) algorithm which is for every word go through and see if that word exists. There are better algorithms than this, and even still, with the speed of computers today (billions, trillions? of operations a second), you could check 20,000 160 character texts easily in a second.

    2. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Mr+Z · · Score: 5, Informative

      What, you think they're going to do this on a Commodore 64?

      I looked it up, and folks in the US send 80 billion SMSes per month. That works out to about 30k SMSes/sec on average across the entire United States. Now, I realize that certain times of day are more likely to have SMSes than others, so let's say, to a first order, the peak rate of SMSes is 100k/sec. Now divide that among all the cell towers, understanding that some will be busier than others.

      Let's say a given cell tower has to process 100 SMSes a second, each at the full 160 character limit. That's 16kB/s. Let's say each word take 1000 cycles to test for, which should be on the high side since it assumes you can't use, say, a trie to take advantage of common word roots, or use pattern matching accelerators (which are quite common in this space). 16kB/s * 1000 * 1600 = 25.6Gcyc/sec. That sounds like a lot, but it isn't.

      A single board in one of these cellular base stations has literally dozens of processor chips, most with multiple cores, running in the GHz range. And that's just one board. My employer sells a chip in this space which crunches away 10Gcyc/sec across all of its 8 processors, and our customers put dozens of these on each board.

      On GSM networks, SMSes are control channel messages. They go via a low bandwidth side channel that is nowhere near as compute-intensive as the main voice channel. If you're provisioned to handle a certain number of phone calls, you're more than adequately provisioned to handle SMSes and the corresponding filtering, as long as you do the filtering at the base station.

    3. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Mr+Z · · Score: 1

      BTW, I realize this is Pakistan that we're talking about, not the US. I just used the US numbers to get an initial order of magnitude to get in the ball park for the number of SMSes/sec a given cell tower might see, on the presumption that a cell tower in the US has a similar amount of work to do per subscriber as a cell tower in Pakistan.

    4. Re:Is this technically feasible? by khipu · · Score: 1

      Routing those SMSes to their destinations requires much more complex pattern matching than that.

    5. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This should be modded Funny, not Interesting. The entire country's SMS traffic could be processed with a single 5 year old desktop computer.

    6. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Alef · · Score: 1

      It would be trivially solvable using a trie. 10000 messages is only 1,6 million characters even if every message has the maximum length. Even your typical smart phone processor could probably manage that throughput.

    7. Re:Is this technically feasible? by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 4, Interesting

      hardware accel.

      its how routers do DPI these days.

      any real firewall worth anything has hardware support for string finding, substrings, etc.

      since routing is now 'boring' and its all worked out; the new hotness is to have 'apps' run on high speed router platforms and 'do things' at realtime speeds with your data.

      now, aren't you sorry you asked?

      --

      --
      "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    8. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Alef · · Score: 1

      That's 16kB/s. Let's say each word take 1000 cycles to test for, which should be on the high side since it assumes you can't use, say, a trie to take advantage of common word roots, or use pattern matching accelerators (which are quite common in this space [google.com]). 16kB/s * 1000 * 1600 = 25.6Gcyc/sec.

      I'd say being on the high side there is a bit of an understatement. Using a trie, as you suggest, you'd probably be able to check a typical word against the entire dictionary less than 100 cycles, so your estimate is probably overshooting by four or five orders of magnitude.

    9. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      To do it efficiently you would build a deterministic finite state machine to recognize the regular expression .* ( word1 | word2 | .... ) .* That would allow processing of any message in linear time (proportional to the length of the message).

    10. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Nysul · · Score: 1

      You seem to think the US government isn't already doing something like this, automatically searching for and reporting terrorist/anarchist/militia keywords.

    11. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Mr+Z · · Score: 1

      Yeah, my point was mainly to demonstrate that even if you turn all the knobs to 11, it's still easily doable.

    12. Re:Is this technically feasible? by martin-boundary · · Score: 1

      That's what a compressed trie effectively does. Knuth, TAOCP III, pp 492ff.

    13. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Kalriath · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Cell tower? Why wouldn't you run all this on the considerably more powerful SMSCs?

      --
      For a site about things like basic rights, Slashdot users sure do like to censor "dissent".
    14. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Mr+Z · · Score: 1

      *shrug* Probably. My main point was that there's a ton of compute power lying between any two endpoints of an SMS, and that the magnitude of the problem (grepping for 1600 bad words) is very, very, very small compared to that, even if you absurdly overestimate the cost by several orders of magnitude.

    15. Re:Is this technically feasible? by brantondaveperson · · Score: 1

      Unrelated, but thanks for finally giving a name to the data structure that a friend and I came up with at Uni to generate anagrams quickly. We both knew that it wasn't anything earth-shattering, but neither of us knew what to call it either. I think we ended up calling it an alphabet tree or something.

    16. Re:Is this technically feasible? by ap7 · · Score: 1

      Also, remember that an SMS is not real time communication like a voice call. A small delay, introduced by filtering, in transmission of the SMS to the recipient will probably not be noticed at all. There are other bottlenecks in a cellular network that cause such delays in any case.

    17. Re:Is this technically feasible? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... and all these towers have spare processors, because they expected this coming, right?

  28. At least they have a public list. by I'm+Not+There+(1956) · · Score: 5, Informative

    Here in Iran messages are censored but nobody knows for which words. It's not even consistent: when there's going to be a protest event or news the filtering increases. Normally it filters less words. People guess these words. The worst happens for advertisers and advertising companies that send bulk SMS and later find out that nothing has delivered!

    --
    "If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing."
    1. Re:At least they have a public list. by BluBrick · · Score: 1

      ...The worst happens for advertisers and advertising companies that send bulk SMS and later find out that nothing has delivered!

      If that really is the worst that happens, I applaud the Iranian government for their discovery of successful anti-spam measures. (However, I suspect that their censorship policy has worse effects than blocking advertising campaigns)

      --
      Ahh - My eye!
      The doctor said I'm not supposed to get Slashdot in it!
    2. Re:At least they have a public list. by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 1

      The worst happens for advertisers and advertising companies that send bulk SMS and later find out that nothing has delivered!

      Thanks a lot, bastard, now I have to reconsider my opposition to setting up a totalitarian theocratic regime and pervasive censorship apparatus!

    3. Re:At least they have a public list. by data2 · · Score: 1

      Same thought crossed my mind. In Germany, it's completely forbidden I guess, because I never received a single spam SMS in the 10+ years of use.

    4. Re:At least they have a public list. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Here in Iran messages are censored but nobody knows for which words.
      The worst happens for advertisers and advertising companies that send bulk SMS and later find out that nothing has delivered!

      So there are upsides even to censorship. I could never have guessed.

  29. all i can picture by decora · · Score: 5, Funny

    is a bunch of middle aged bureaucratic dudes sitting around a table saying "What do you think about "Monkey dick".. should we ban that?"

    1. Re:all i can picture by St.Creed · · Score: 1

      Priceless :)

      I'm seeing a Monthy Python sketch in the making :)

      --
      Therefore, by the (faulty) logic you're using, you're just a cow with a keyboard - osu-neko (2604)
    2. Re:all i can picture by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually I think it's funny that "dick" isn't on the list.
      But I stop laughing when I remember that some governments treat their citizens like they're children in a boarding school.

  30. WooHoo ... by ProfM · · Score: 2

    I learned a few new swear words today. On a side note, why are 1072, 1073, and 1074 redacted? Are they too obscene?

  31. More list forensics by Samantha+Wright · · Score: 5, Informative

    - "Beastiality" is banned, but not "bestiality". Coitus with animals is acceptable as long as you can spell it properly.

    - A lot of superstrings seem to be banned; I guess they expect the operators to censor the longest possible match.

    - I guess no one's allowed to do research on HSV in Pakistan, since "herpes" is banned.

    - How long before someone turns the blocking of "lesbian" and "gay" into a human rights issue? Especially "gay pride"?

    - Some of these bans are actually dangerous to public safety: "sniper", "hostage", and "stroke" are all being banned.

    --
    Bio questions? Ask me to start a Q&A journal. Computer analogies available for most topics!
    1. Re:More list forensics by indeterminator · · Score: 1

      - How long before someone turns the blocking of "lesbian" and "gay" into a human rights issue? Especially "gay pride"

      In muslim countries, they have no gays.

    2. Re:More list forensics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In countries where 90% of women is owned by 10% of the men they have more gays than you could imagine.

    3. Re:More list forensics by indeterminator · · Score: 1

      Funny you should mention that, according to this there's no woman oppresion either.

    4. Re:More list forensics by indeterminator · · Score: 1

      Duh.. mispasted the link. http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3642673

    5. Re:More list forensics by fnj · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Human rights? In a muslim theocracy? BWAHAHAHAHA!

    6. Re:More list forensics by gmhowell · · Score: 1

      Human rights? In an Abrahamic theocracy? BWAHAHAHAHA!

      FTFY.

      --
      Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. -John Lennon
    7. Re:More list forensics by devent · · Score: 2, Informative

      Why you assume that this theocracy is special only because it's a Muslim theocracy? We all know what was happening in a Christianity theocracy, and it's not better.

      --
      http://www.mueller-public.de - My site http://www.anr-institute.com/ - Advanced Natural Research Institute
    8. Re:More list forensics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >Human rights? In a muslim theocracy? BWAHAHAHAHA!

      Although Pakistan does have Islam as its state religion, it is not a theocracy - it is not ruled by clerics. It is a parliamentary democracy.

      There are good arguments that Pakistani democracy is not perfect but the military is the most politically powerful non-democratic force. Religion plays its part in politics there but does not play a direct role in the running of the state.

    9. Re:More list forensics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      please expound oh wise one....

    10. Re:More list forensics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Which "Christianity" theocracy are you talking about?

      And let's be honest, even if there were one, its intuitively obvious the casual observer that right now Islam does more of this than anyone else and in more extreme ways. I don't believe in picking on any one religion or one of anything arbitrarily, and don't excuse the stupidity of any of them, but it is patently dishonest to pretend there is no reason why Islam is occasionally singled out. No more than how dishonest it is to pretend that there are no valid reasons for pointing out the idiocy of some Christian lunacy.

  32. ask the people in prison in China by decora · · Score: 2

    who are there because they tweeted some small phrase or something.

    1. Re:ask the people in prison in China by ThePeices · · Score: 0

      "ask the people in prison in China, who are there because they tweeted some small phrase or something."

      Yeah? Shall we take a look at your statement?
      Ask the Americans in US prisons because they tweeted or texted some small phrase or something.
      Things like "I am going to assassinate the president, come help me rednecks".

      Hey, its just a small phrase, amiright?

      Or how about asking the Europeans who are in jail because they texted or tweeted a small phrase, for example "the holocaust never happened".

      Just because we may have free speech rights, doesnt mean we can say anything we like.

  33. Weiner Schnitzel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Also rules out sending weiner schnitzel recipes, but I understand pork is in short supply in Pakistan.

    1. Re:Weiner Schnitzel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Erm, no! True "Wiener Schnitzel" (please not the placement of 'i' and 'e') is made from veal. In Vienna, Schnitzel made from pork may only be called "Schnitzel, Wiener (=Viennese) style" but never "Wiener Schnitzel".

  34. Thank goodness! by cheekyjohnson · · Score: 2

    Bad words are bad because I said so. I don't like them, and so they should be banned.

    Think of all the children that are being saved!

    --
    Filthy, filthy copyrapists!
  35. oh god mod up by decora · · Score: 1

    hahahaha awesome

  36. US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    The US needs to get a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan.

    This has gone to far, we need to bring freedom back to the world. Only way to do this is for the US to get a set of BALLS and Liberate countries like Pakistan and Canada.

    1. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Insightful

      The US needs to get a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan.

      This has gone to far, we need to bring freedom back to the world. Only way to do this is for the US to get a set of BALLS and Liberate countries like Pakistan and Canada.

      How about the US growing a pair and liberate themselves first.

    2. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by thht · · Score: 1

      BEEEP YEAH!

    3. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Pakistan and Canada

      trolledgently.jpg

    4. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 1

      Canada needs to become the 51st state. No liberation!!

    5. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No Canada needs to liberated, and Alan Rock needs to be put on trial for his crimes against humanity.

    6. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Issarlk · · Score: 1

      Not gonna happen, Pakistan has nukes. US doesn't attack countries with nukes, that's why Iran and North Korea try to get them.

    7. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That makes as much sense, as saying:

      Pakistan needs to get a set of BALLS and Liberate the US.

      This has gone to far, they need to bring freedom back to the world. Only way to do this is for Pakistan to get a set of BALLS and Liberate countries like the US and the UK.

      :P

    8. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes, because 'liberation' always comes along with a healthy dose of capitalism and carpet bombing.

      Oh, wait...

      Good troll, though. Points for origin--..Nah, nevermind.

    9. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by couchslug · · Score: 1

      "The US needs to get a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan."

      If you mean by that "help India erase it with a pre-emptive first strike after the Taliban take over" I agree.

      --
      "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
    10. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey me too!! Me too! I wanna be Liberated by the US too!

    11. Re:US needs a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Only way that'll happen is if there's MONEY or Political Clout to be mnade in doing it. The American government does nothing to help anyone unless they get cash or votes our of it,

  37. Buckfutter! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    nt

  38. Entertaining list by Teun · · Score: 1
    A very entertaining and instructive list, I didn't realise my English vocabulary had so many holes :)

    Weird that Jesus Christ is on the list, after Mohammed he is Islam's second most important prophet.
    Difficult when you are a plumber and need to order 1/2" NPT nipples...
    A Pakistani Big Bitch must be huge, she's 2x on the list :)

    Now Pakistan is a country of many languages so I wonder if there are, besides this English one, comparable lists for the others?

    --
    "The likes of Facebook and WhatsApp are free to those whose privacy is of zero value."
    1. Re:Entertaining list by BluBrick · · Score: 1

      I thought that about Jesus, but then I remembered being taught that Christ is a title, not a name. Jesus is permitted in the Islamic context, but not in the Christian. So, is it weird that Jesus Christ is on the list? Meh, not really. Oppressive? Fuck, yeah!

      --
      Ahh - My eye!
      The doctor said I'm not supposed to get Slashdot in it!
    2. Re:Entertaining list by Teun · · Score: 1

      Title vs. name, a good point!

      --
      "The likes of Facebook and WhatsApp are free to those whose privacy is of zero value."
    3. Re:Entertaining list by Greyfox · · Score: 1

      Or a ballcock...

      --

      I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  39. deeper? by nurb432 · · Score: 1

    Umm i suppose that means something different over there than it does in the states?

    Or are they really that idiotic? ( oh wait, i guess this post will be banned too... )

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    1. Re:deeper? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i guess this post will be banned too...

      Your post isn't a text message...

  40. Missed a few.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Pray to the sausage God..", "Oh God! Yes" "Who's your Patriarch now!" "I want to tap that assalam alaikum" "Salaam, salaam, here's the salami!" "Ahlan bitchh to you too" "Queef haluk me" "Naam! Naam! Naaaamm!" "Siteen tissaa"

  41. look at some of the stuff they banned by CreamyG31337 · · Score: 1

    STUPID
    NIGER (the country??)
    KOTEX
    SEX
    VAGINA
    TONGUE
    SUCK
    HOSTAGE
    UTERUS
    SNIPER
    SNOT
    SIX SIX SIX (yeah cuz someone is gonna spell out numbers?? why not ban 666 then)
    SCREW
    SHOWTIME
    ROBBER
    RETARDED
    CRAP
    CREAMY
    DIKE
    DEVIL
    DRUNK
    GAY
    HARDER
    JOINT
    PEE
    PERIOD
    OUI
    NAKED
    NIG
    OU812
    POOP
    PREMATURE
    PUSSY CAT
    REAR END
    SLAVE
    STROKE
    TROJAN
    TWO ON ONE
    WUUTANG (???)
    WHITE TRASH (is this a problem over there??)

    1. Re:look at some of the stuff they banned by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In the Roman PERIOD, after defeating Hannibal, Scipio Africanus conquered Africa as far as modern-day NIGER. Here is the story.

      He hoped that attempting this conquest was not a PREMATURE move. But he had had ancestors in the TROJAN wars, and they had seen HARDER times than he. His grandfather had even survived a TWO ON ONE swordfight. He called out to his SLAVES, "STROKE! And watch the REAR END of the ship." They struck aground anyway, but he bit his TONGUE. A man checking the rudders fell off the POOP deck. Now it would be HARDER to shove off. As he looked out to the other ships, he began to count his troops by thousands, "SIX, SIX, SIX...". Eighteen thousand soldiers to conquer what would become known as Africa....

    2. Re:look at some of the stuff they banned by Starteck81 · · Score: 1

      WHITE TRASH (is this a problem over there??)

      It probably is. I imagine it would be used to describe idiot Americans. Think of all the tech support calls they get.

      --
      "There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order." -Ed H
    3. Re:look at some of the stuff they banned by ColdWetDog · · Score: 1

      You're sending history lessons as SMS text?

      You SHOULD be banned.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
    4. Re:look at some of the stuff they banned by statsone · · Score: 0

      Kmart, rear end, screw, ?

      Some one who needs to buy a screw for the rear end of a truck at kmart is not going to be able to text this?

  42. I just learned some new words by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    But the main thing I think, as I peruse this list, is Fuck Pakistan. They seriously banned the word "dome". It's probably because such structures stand up too well to suicide bombing and thus more modern architecture is necessary to better enforce the will of Allah. They also spelled incest wrong. Ope, can't say "period". Can't say "premature".. Can't say "red light".. can't say "showtime".. they misspelled "wasted".. and you can't say "Got Jesus"... just how many Germans do they have over there? All in all, pakistani texting is now useless. The impending surge in encryption will give plausible deniability to terrorists the nation over, so the next time there's unrest, the government will collapse.

    1. Re:I just learned some new words by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Furthermore, Pakistan is a nuclear power, predominantly Shiite. Iran is soon to be a nuclear power, and it's Sunni. India is 80% Hindu. If you knew a nation right next to you possessing a large nuclear arsenal and a bunch of pissed off crazies of a different religion than you just collapsed into anarchy, I think you'd have your nukes aimed and ready. Can you imagine if, in that situation, so much as one nuclear warhead was launched from Pakistan to anywhere else? It would be raining the bones of Pakistani children across the entire 30 degree N latitude range around the world for a week.

    2. Re:I just learned some new words by webminer · · Score: 1

      You got it wrong. Pakis are majority Sunnis and Iranians are majority Shiite. That's why most of middle east hates Iran. Saudi Arabia, UAE, Kuwait, Iraq are all Sunni majority.

  43. encryption by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just another example why any communication system that does not provide end-to-end encryption sucks.
    Any new communication standard deployed should include user controlled end-to-end encryption by default. Any party (politcal or otherwise) opposed to this are simply fascists. Yes, I mean nazi's. f*ck godwin.

  44. I applaud Pakistan by Jeremi · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ... for doing everything they can to ensure that the range of Pakistani euphemisms and double-entendres expands to ever newer and more creative territory. Let a thousand flowers bloom!

    --


    I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
    1. Re:I applaud Pakistan by halivar · · Score: 5, Funny

      Let a thousand flowers bloom!

      That's just sick, you bastard.

  45. Curiouser and curiouser by banda · · Score: 2

    I too would like to pretend that the XFL never existed, but ban people from texting "HEHATEME"? Is Rod Smart THAT controversial in Pakistan?

  46. The FFXI lesson. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    For those who don't know: Final Fantasy XI (MMORPG) had a very extreme filter, that blocked *everything* except for a fixed set of words. Which some would say is the only actually working censorship.
    But it stopped nothing and nobody. People just thought up other meaning for the existing words and terms.
    For example, there was a place called "Hundred Fists", and there were words like "glory" and "hole". Plus a hot female race called "Mithra".
    And so, people just wrote things like:
    > {Hundred Fists}{inside}{Mithra}{hole}{Do you need it?}

    Rule 34c: Unless you ban all communication, people will always find ways to talk about porn (or anything else). No exception.

  47. Rot13 by Rootkit · · Score: 1

    Easier than encryption, and likely to scramble a text enough to avoid all filters. There's probably an app for it.

    1. Re:Rot13 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Better yet, use double Rot13, twice as secure!

  48. Can't beleve they banned this ! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How do am i supposed to text my doctor about my hemorrhoids and describe my pain ?

  49. Proposed new euphemism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Spanking the censor.

  50. Hitler did it in the name of the Children as well. by Avarist · · Score: 1

    I usually dislike it when Hitler gets used to compare things but I'm going to do it anyway. Hitler did it in the name of the Children as well, he said so himself. You can do great evil and get away with it as long as you're doing it "to protect the innocent young".

    --
    In Capitalist US, the commerce controls the Government.
  51. For a tender steak... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    For a tender steak, you must beat your meat with a tenderizer.

    In other news, a Sea World trainer has been arrested for flogging the dolphin he was working with during training.

    With all those 'spell correction' fails, lots of people could be in lots of trouble soon!

  52. Language evolution by Roogna · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Of course the most pointless thing with language bans and censorship of this kind is that it's exactly why we -have- so many double entendres and such. Every time a culture, religion, politician, parent, teacher, whomever, tells someone that saying something is offensive, the best they usually manage is the creation of some other way of stating the same thing. Even if that involves making up new words. Beyond that, the very children who everyone is usually trying to protect with language bans like this, are the absolute masters at creating new words to circumvent such things.

    1. Re:Language evolution by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Surely, fanciful ideas like that could only come from a "new word" like yourself?

  53. Step Two by Iamthecheese · · Score: 1

    2. find the people who initiate changes in vocabulary by tracking messages from source 3. Subvert or kill them 4.???

    --
    If video games influenced behavior the Pac Man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems.
    1. Re:Step Two by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      4. Profit.

      4 is always profit.

    2. Re:Step Two by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      4. Profit!!!!

  54. Only in English ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I wonder if they only will ban this list and words in English, how about the same words (meanings I mean) in their language ? are they banned too ?

    1. Re:Only in English ? by owlstead · · Score: 1

      Its in the f[message banned]

  55. Re:Banned: Juggalo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Juggalo fatso got jesus" * (All words in this one are banned)

    They banned "got"?

  56. Re:Banned: Juggalo by smellotron · · Score: 3, Informative

    Your circle of friends has much higher standards for texting content than mine.

  57. And the ninjas win... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    From the list: Ass Pirate
    No Ass Ninja.

    1. Re:And the ninjas win... by dlingman · · Score: 1

      Ass Ninja _is_ on the list - you just can't see it. (It is a Ninja after all.)

  58. Didn't work for Disney by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Disney's Virtual Magic Kingdom was an MMO with a word filter, restricting dialogue to a set number of clean phrases. Didn't take long for someone to come up with the phrase "I want to stick my long-necked Giraffe up your fluffy white bunny". Is Pakistan going to block those words too?

    1. Re:Didn't work for Disney by gl4ss · · Score: 1

      Disney's Virtual Magic Kingdom was an MMO with a word filter, restricting dialogue to a set number of clean phrases. Didn't take long for someone to come up with the phrase "I want to stick my long-necked Giraffe up your fluffy white bunny". Is Pakistan going to block those words too?

      yes.

      --
      world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
  59. B33t yur m33t.

    See? It still gets through.

  60. Agreed, stop the hate, because this is a good move by Mr.+Sketch · · Score: 4, Interesting

    After all, don't people realize the horrible things that can happen when someone gets offended?

    I found this documentary about the terrible consequences of being offended. It recounts the gruesome details of people who have been offended, went to sleep, and woke up the next morning with leprosy.

    It's good that Pakistan is stopping these atrocities before they get out of hand.

  61. Ok so how does this work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You mean you have to learn these 1600 dirty words by heart otherwise your text will not arrive. Hmmm. great idea that will get your mind off the funny bussines.

  62. let's think of this before bashing the US by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This is what censorship looks like, folks. Lets remember this before we start throwing a pity party about how Big Brother the US government is.

  63. This is how 1337 sp33k got started by Nimey · · Score: 1

    Now we'll have annoyingly illiterate Pakistani youth.

    --
    Hail Eris, full of mischief...

    E pluribus sanguinem
  64. the heartbreak of psoriasis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the burning itch of monkey crotch...

  65. someone do this! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I dare someone to make a simple form that substitutes all occurrences of the string "#" followed immediately by a number 1-16000 with the corresponding word!

    "Mmmm, baby, I'm gonna #534 your #10842 so hard :) Maybe even a little #14372 tonight ;-)"

  66. It's a well studied problem by mdmkolbe · · Score: 5, Interesting

    With a maximum character length of 140 characters, 1600 strings to match, and assuming 8 character long strings, it would take 140*8*1600=1,792,000 character matches per message if you do it naively. That is only a millisecond on modern GHz processors, but when processing large numbers of messages using embedded processors, that is probably a few more cycles than you want to spend on each message. You can do better by using Knuth-Morris-Pratt or Boyer-Moore. Since we can pre-process the strings to be matched, this means it takes only 140*1600*k=224,000*k (for some k determined by the algorithm). This is better, but not by much.

    Notice that the dominant factor is the 1600 strings to be matched. If you really care about performance, then you want to get rid of that factor. Simplest way is to build a finite-state automaton. If it is encoded as an NFA, the performance won't be much better than before, but if you encode it as a DFA, then each message can be processed in only 140 table lookups. The downside of this is the size of the lookup tables. In the worse case, expect them to take terabytes of space depending on the particular 1600 strings being matched.

    There are algorithms like Rabin-Karp and Aho-Corasick that might take less space while still taking only ~140 character operations. The practical answer, is to try DFA, RK, and AC to see which, if any, don't require too much preprocessing space, and then use one of those. The space requirements will depend on the particular text involved, but there are good odds that the tables for DFA will be small, and even better odds that the tables for RK and AC will be small.

    Searching and sorting are two of the most well studied algorithmic problems in computer science. If you ever find yourself wondering how to do them efficiently, there is a good chance that very smart people have already figured out how to do it.

    1. Re:It's a well studied problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The maximum length of an SMS message in plain ASCII is 160 characters, Twittard.

    2. Re:It's a well studied problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You don't need complicated string matching algorithms for this, a simple split and has table lookup will do.

      I think your post shows that... a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

    3. Re:It's a well studied problem by epine · · Score: 1

      Notice that the dominant factor is the 1600 strings to be matched. If you really care about performance, then you want to get rid of that factor.

      True, but why did you launch directly into automata? A hash-based bloom filter k=1 which tests each word against a bit vector of 8KB (64kbit) in size (L1 friendly) will flag roughly one false positive out of every 40 words (p=1600/2^16) for further testing. On the first true positive, the algorithm terminates, so this does not contribute to asymptotic run time. Depending on your CPU, the bloom filter might cost up to twenty instructions per character processed including amortized detection of word boundaries.

      Then you need to include additional processing triggered by 2% of words evaluated which can also be done with efficient hash methods (likely using larger non-L1 data structures). If you haven't banned any 1 or 2 character words, you can skip these completely. The second phase processing won't add up to much.

      Note that you should use a randomized hash function so that there is no predictable worst-case message available to miffed DOSers if you think this is a task worth doing well. This costs you at initialization time (dynamic instead of static bitvector), but is free thereafter.

      The easiest dodge for the person writing the message is to replace every space with an infrequent character such as 'z' if the words are hard to read written with no spaces at all. Or you can go full camel case. If the rule for what determines a word boundary becomes shifty, you're into full-blown spam filter hell. Of course, in such a country, shifty word boundaries could cost you your left one, so parse prudishly if you value your thumbs.

    4. Re:It's a well studied problem by mdmkolbe · · Score: 1

      True, but why did you launch directly into automata?

      Because I overlooked the fact that the words are delimited by spaces. Let me reanalyze the problem. (Yes, I do this kind of thing for fun.)

      Once you split messages into words, all matches are exact matches instead of searching for something in the middle of the string. In that case, as you say, hashes may do the job better since you don't need the extra power than automata give you.

      On the other hand, depending on whether you are optimizing for CPU time vs memory accesses, tries might do better than a hash (and have no false positives that require a second level of scanning). For 1600 words, the space to store the trie should be quite small (
      With a trie, you can also integrate the process of splitting up the message into the trie matching algorithm by making the 'space' edges point back to the root of the trie. If you do that, you end up with a deterministic automaton (which is probably also minimal) that takes less than 13KB to store.

      • Costs of hash:
        • n linear, cold memory reads (reading message);
        • n character compares against a constant (space finding);
        • k*n math ops (hash computation);
        • ~n/8 (one per word) random, hot memory reads (bloom table lookup).
      • Cost of trie:
        • n linear, cold memory reads (reading message);
        • n random, hot memory reads (trie table lookup).

      Which of those is better comes down to whether k*n math ops are cheaper or more expensive than n table lookups. On an embedded CPU that answer is going to be different than on a desktop GHz CPU. However, all of that having been said, the bloom-filter has an important advantage: it can be tuned to handle larger sets of words in exchange for a larger false positive rate. (The trie would be less susceptible to DOS, but I don't think that is likely to be a major consideration.)

      Conclusion: It was stupid of me to over look the space delimiters. Without knowing more about the performance characteristics of the target platform, it is difficult to determine for certain which one will perform better, but I agree that Bloom-filters are a good idea and are likely to do a better job than automata.

  67. We had our own troubles with the PTA by dynamo · · Score: 1

    They're always out trying to censor everything. Screw them!

  68. Pakistani XFL fans by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

    #494 on the list, He Hate Me. Who knew the Pakistani government had so many XFL fans?

    --
    We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
  69. Re:Agreed, stop the hate, because this is a good m by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I thought the ban WAS about "things getting out of hand".

    As it were....

    Ahem!

  70. hostage? by Dahamma · · Score: 1

    "Hostage"? There are going to be a lot of pissed off Al Qaeda in Pakistan. "We have been waiting two weeks for the ransom on this journalist, why won't they reply to our texts!"

  71. Why exactly? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why, exactly, do we let these miscreant monkeys even HAVE access to technology? Seriously. Someone should bomb them into the stone age... Oh, wait... nevermind...

  72. redundant. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    http://outsports.com/nfl/2005/0301nflshopnaughtywords.htm

  73. Typical by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This is technological legislation put in place by people who don't understand the technology, nor how it is typically used. The stupidity of this plan is blatantly obvious to even the most casual of users, but completely lost upon those who are too distanced from the day-to-day of this technology to be able to "get it."

    Law always trails a good decade or two behind the technology for precisely this reason. And it causes a lot of suffering all around.

  74. Two things came to mind. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    1) Hey, do they speak English there???

    2) "'Nobody would like this happening to their young boy or girl.'": Uh, if they can't even handle an offensive text message, that's bad...

  75. Good and bad by meta-monkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    After reading the list, there are some good and bad parts:

    Good: #575 - Juggalo. ICP fans should be banned, everywhere.

    Bad: #657 - Master Blaster. Now how will Pakistanis know who rules Bartertown?

    --
    We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    1. Re:Good and bad by anilg · · Score: 1

      Wow.. Master blaster is a nickname of one of India's (and this generation's) leading cricketer, Sachin Tendulkar. This list also goes into personal sport tastes?

      --
      http://dilemma.gulecha.org - My philospohical short film.
  76. Some more things came to mind by Lord+Lode · · Score: 1

    3) Why are combinations of two words on the list, where one of the two is also on the list already? The combination would already be banned due to that single word.

    4) Why is "dome" on the list? You can't even describe a building with a dome?

  77. It's like a one time pad... by shippers · · Score: 1

    I could find some uses for this list.

  78. The smarter government by SuperKendall · · Score: 1

    I'm sure they anticipated that... that's why the 1600 word/phase list is probably 1600 variants of the phrase "F**** the PTA" or "The Pakistan Telecom authority sucks"

    One would hope the lawmakers used regex to define the forbidden terms.

    On second thought, perhaps it's better not to let lawyers know about the power of regex.

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
    1. Re:The smarter government by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

      Better not. How many words would 'ass*' take out? The list is so badly constructed that they would take out half the words in the dictionary, since you know they would somehow manage to use regex incorrectly.

      --
      Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
    2. Re:The smarter government by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      I have to admit, I have very limited knowledge of the Pakistani language (well, I have zero knowledge of it), but if it is in any way close to any other language I know, the "bad" words tend to be short. Think of a few select words you wouldn't say in the presence of your mother and count their average letters. What average do you end up with? 4? 5? Something like that, I'd bet.

      Can you imagine what trying to regex all the various creative ways to spell them would net you? Exactly. A regex expression that fits nearly all words in the English language.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  79. No one is in prison for that by SuperKendall · · Score: 1

    Ask the Americans in US prisons because they tweeted or texted some small phrase or something.
    Things like "I am going to assassinate the president, come help me rednecks".

    Nice moral equivalency asshole.

    Real people are getting arrested, tortured and killed in China for saying far less than that.

    Meanwhile in the U.S. you just said you were going to assassinate the president, which you threw around because you know nothing would happen.

    If you repeatedly posted it to twitter for months on end, you MIGHT get a visit from the secret service. MIGHT.

    Stop pretending two drastically different situations are the same as you shame the whole western world with your cavalier dismissal of dissidents as being the same as some random U.S. crackpot. They are fighting for a real cause and you are curb-stomping them, however inadvertently...

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  80. ok. ask Cheng Jianping by decora · · Score: 1

    im not talking about a fantasy of where we might be in 10 years. im talking about actual, real people sitting in jail in china, right now. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheng_Jianping
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_dissidents

  81. Grimly Amusing by Hasai · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Seems no matter where you go and no matter how ludicrous the subject, "IT'S FOR THE CHIIIILLLLDREN!" always wins. :\

    --

    Regards;

    Hasai

  82. Stolen? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Shamelessly stolen from the NFL "naughtyword" list?

    http://outsports.com/nfl/2005/0301nflshopnaughtywords.htm

    Two lists with "Purina Princess" can't be that common, now can it?

    1. Re:Stolen? by statsone · · Score: 1

      so did the authority just copy the list or is it a joke?

  83. computer euphemisms by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Testing the dongle?

  84. Some horrible words I don't want my kids to see by chrismcb · · Score: 1

    athletes foot, backdoor, backseat, blackout, deeper, devil, dome, fairy, finger food, glazed donut, hole, hostage, k mart, lotion, lube job, penthouse, period, quickie, rear end, ribbed, roach, robber, screw, slant, slime

    Heaven forbid if your name is Mary Jane.

    ass is illegal, gay is illegal... but just to be sure "gay ass" is also illegal

    fourtwenty is a nono, but I guess it is ok to use 420.

  85. Wouldn't it be multiple states? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I mean, it's too fucking big to be "a state". Each province should... fuck it.

  86. Re:Banned: Juggalo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Some of the banned words are amusing for various reasons. Some have fairly obvious explicit meanings, others do not. Some examples of messages that will be banned after this goes into effect:

    "I am putting a new roof on my house and the stringer length is 18 feet."
    "Did you see the new wuutang clan movie on netflix?"
    "When using distance measuring equipment in aircraft, it measures the slant length between the VOR and the aircraft."
    "When approaching to land, you should retard the throttle abeam the intended landing point."
    "I want to go land at Bremerton Airport, IACO identifier PWT."
    "When running long distances, you should be careful of joint pain in your knees."
    "Calculus is often considered to be a harder class than algebra."
    "Juggalo fatso got jesus" * (All words in this one are banned)

    Wow. This is good stuff. I often wonder what is going on in these people's heads when they come up with lists like this. They are not sane as we know it.

    Those sound like terrorist cell code phrases. I imagine that is why they're banned.

  87. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  88. Subjective, I guess by Tarlus · · Score: 1

    'Nobody would like this happening to their young boy or girl.'

    Quite frankly, I would not be at all phased if somebody simply texted the phrase "athlete's foot" to my daughter.

    --
    /* No Comment */
  89. Re:Banned: Juggalo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not to mention:

    "It's getting dark. Turn on the headlights."

  90. Troublesome words by poena.dare · · Score: 2

    I was going to put every word on the list in a poem, but words #1072 to 1074 are impossible to rhyme.

    1. Re:Troublesome words by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

      Ever see the movie "Pooty Tang?"
      He uses those words in his newest song.

      --
      Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
    2. Re:Troublesome words by poena.dare · · Score: 1

      Kudos! Excellent reference. My hat's off to you, sir or madam!

  91. Dickidydick by mrops · · Score: 1

    still not on the list

    dikidydick dickidydick dickidydick

  92. Word in Urdu by mrops · · Score: 1

    They totally ignored cuss words in their native language, Its more likely to hear "gand-du" for "fag" than the word "fag".

    Or for that matter "run-dy" for "whore"

    or "lund" for penis

    1. Re:Word in Urdu by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

      TFA said that there are two lists, one in English and one in Urdu. The article only links to the English list, so the Urdu list may include those words you mentioned.

      --
      Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
  93. Surpising by amightywind · · Score: 0

    The word 'Mohammed' is not banned. Perhaps it is okay alone. But you could lose a hand using it with one of the other words. It is 2011 in the bizarre and benighted muslim world. You'd think it was 711 were it not for the cell phones.

    --
    an ill wind that blows no good
  94. Re:Banned: Juggalo by fluffy99 · · Score: 1

    Is the english list translated from the URDU list? Perhaps the URDU list doesn't have words with such dual meanings as 'screw' and 'period'.

  95. No more embarrassing moments in checkout line by NeoMorphy · · Score: 1

    Personally, I have no problem with "Honey, can you pick up some tampons for me?", but some guys hate this. Now they can claim that darn censorship, they blocked it out, so I assumed you were asking me to pick up some beer.

  96. spell check by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    it is spelled "loser" not "looser"

  97. Fake? by hipp5 · · Score: 1

    Are we sure this isn't fake? I mean, is "beat your meat" really a phrase that also exists in Urdu? Or is English just that popular there?

  98. Beware ... by PPH · · Score: 1

    ... of the New Word Order!

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  99. Political context. by iiiears · · Score: 1

    A memo was leaked a few days ago. ("memogate") The Pakistan civilian government already unpopular for alignment with the west. asked the U.S. to do something about the Pakistan military gaining more power.
      SOPA is in U.S. congress/senate.
    Was network censorship in a country with many more pressing needs part of an agreement for our help?

    --
    15TW = 15,000 Nuclear Reactors. (Approx. one accident a month.)
  100. I thought that would be funny by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If this isn't a joke, then I've got to assume that the Pakistan government is in such dire straights with the populace that it needs to panic to win the votes of the religious extremists(read Taliban) in order to stay in power. Considering the state of NW Pakistan and now the flooding causing severe problems and the government's inability to provide even basic security for the population.. well.

    To all of those people finding this funny, remember this. The country is (by and large) anti-American .. is right next door to Afghanistan and has a large nuclear arsenal.

  101. The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...should have exclusive publishing rights to this story.

  102. Weird but accurate etymology... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oddly enough, that *was* one of the original meanings of the word "occupy" which fell out of favor hundreds of years ago...

  103. Opt-in? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I agree with the overall concern of being able to use a device without being offended by the content you receive through it, but shouldn't this be opt-in?
    I mean, if I'm going to give a phone to my son, shouldn't I be able to select that device as "filtered" and leave every other fucking device alone?

  104. Problems by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I read the list and it seems like a lot of things I would like to try.

    Now, it really concerns me that apparently the ban makes it impossible for someone to warn the authorities or other people of a possible suicide attempt, a rape, a broken condom or a sexy big titted playboy whore giving free blowjobs at a strip club.

  105. Decimating vocabulary by sabt-pestnu · · Score: 1

    It occurred to me that 1600 unique words would be close to 10% of man people's working, day-to-day vocabulary.

    (Cue: jokes about being 60% or more of some people's vocabulary)

    On the plus side, the vocabulary list repeats a lot. On the minus side, entire messages (may?) get lost if a forbidden word gets used.

    And another thing, that I find quite interesting: The list is English. I had not known that English is one of two "official languages" of Pakistan.

    Perhaps they are trying to encourage the makers of Urdu porn?

  106. If only we used English Curses in the First place! by ryzvonusef · · Score: 3, Informative

    The weird thing is, we don't text in English! We "txt" a bizarre 1337 Roman Urdu, with lavish sprinkling of punjabi curse words.

    Awesome language, that Punjabi, it has both, some of the very best poetry *and* curses.

    So yeah, our dear president, we will still continue to crude messages about you, good luck stopping us. (I could swear one in ten messages is something disparaging about the president, given my inbox)

    This is, of course, if the list *is* real. First of all, it's unlikely PTA would have revealed it, and secondly, I don't think they would dare censor something like Jesus Christ. All the churches would be in uproar, and the Supreme court would rip them a new one.

    (*BTW*, just to give an idea, Pakistan has one the highest rates for text messaging in the world. We have six companies offering extremely competitive sms packages, and we don't have incoming charges bullshit that you have there, so good luck filtering those tens of millions of messages sent every day.)

    --
    I am an ACCA student. Got a query on Accountancy/Finance? Maybe I can help!
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  108. That's why I make my text messages so interesting. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's to show Echelon my love.

  109. Re:Controlling communication helps controlling peo by PhiRo,oRihP · · Score: 1

    Pacsoc doubleplus good, texting clean unwords delete leads to goodthought and unthoughtcrime.

  110. Need to go read the list by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

    While most of it is stuff you would expect, but here are some really dumb ones (deeper, idiot, drunk, deposit) and some funny ones (Dahmer(?), mother love bone(?!))

    Can you imagine if you tried this-
    I have to go *deposit* more money to make the *hole* *deeper* in the back yard that the *drunk* *idiot* messed up.

    I see where the phrases "back door" & "banging" can have a sexual connotation, but there are also a few other ways to use them, too. I must be too old to understand the controversy behind "cocky" and "cocktail."

    I'm also confused by TFA's explanation of how Pakistan has a free speech clause in it's constitution but somehow this is "not unrestricted?" I can understand China trying to stamp out political speech, but Pakistan looks like it's on a morality crusade that makes the extreme Bible-bangers in the US look tame. I do admit I have slim knowledge about Pakistan.

    (I really have to figure out a way to use "mother love bone" in a proper conversation with someone.)

    --
    Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
  111. Pakistan is a bunch of PUSSIES by cheekyboy · · Score: 1

    Is that banned?

    Look pakistan, if you really want to control your people, do what RA did in Stargate (orig movie) and just ban all writing and make your country all slaves.

    --
    Liberty freedom are no1, not dicks in suits.
  112. Thanks! by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 1

    'flogging the dolphin.'

    I would like to express my gratitude to the Pakistani government for helping me extend and enrich my English vocabulari.

  113. Hoax? by ArizonaJer · · Score: 1
    Could this list be a hoax?

    It looks remarkably similar (down to the capitalization of words) to a list circulating since at least 2005 of words banned from NFL jerseys.

    See

    http://www.outsports.com/nfl/2005/0301nflshopnaughtywords.htm

    'Course, perhaps Pakistan just borrowed this list.

    --
    Jeremy Butler
    www.ScreenSite.org
    www.TVCrit.com
  114. Niger? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hello Mom. How is your trip to Niger?

  115. 1600 words you can say in Pakistan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Man, George Carlin's set is going to be so long now.

  116. LOL by OhHellWithIt · · Score: 1

    I just hope they banned "LOL".

    --
    "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
  117. interesting banned words by ormico · · Score: 0

    KMART JUGGALO KUMQUAT

  118. Newspeak ftw by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just keep banning until there are no more words in which people can express their dirty, wrong thoughts. There is a great assay available on this method.

  119. get rid of the middle east. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    high heat and sand = glass, we should turn the middle east into a giant glass parking lot and get rid of our excess nukes at the same time.

  120. Bet this one isn't banned by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "jihad"
    yep. bet the one word that gets them into the most trouble will be allowed without question.

    Most likely, they ran the koran through the system just to be sure it wasn't banned.

    Nations founded "under god" tend to put everything through a religious test first, and common sense be damned.

  121. Re:Banned: Juggalo by LongearedBat · · Score: 1

    Pity you didn't bold the "offensive" words. I can't identify most of them.

  122. Semprini? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How about Belgium?

  123. Re:If only we used English Curses in the First pla by Opportunist · · Score: 1

    If it is, just take it as a shorthand version, you know, to save you text letters. I mean, there's nothing wrong with texting "Prez is a #1224", is there? :)

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  124. Really by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    if you are really that worried about your kids perhaps you should try being a parent and stop being a f'n retard. also would it just be easier to take the phone from the kids instead of taking the words from everyone. like really who cares about the kids anyway's it's not like they are paying the bill.

  125. Re:Controlling communication helps controlling peo by Carnildo · · Score: 1

    Big Brother ungood.

    --
    "They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
  126. Who-o-o-osh by presidenteloco · · Score: 1

    In case you didn't notice, my post was constructed entirely out of banned in Pakistan words, of which "looser" was a prominently featured example, whereas "loser" was not. I'm perfectly aware of the difference between "looser" use of language in artistic license, and "loser" posts by speling polis posers.

    It saddens me that you also probably missed how my post **simply incredibly cleverly and deviously** spaced out the letters in the banned words to avoid filters. :-(

    --

    Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
  127. Well, FRAK! by ThinkDifferently · · Score: 1

    Hah, it's not on the list. I win.

  128. Must check by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A free Classified site in pakistan
    www.freesellnbuy.com