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Amazon Alexa is Coming To Headphones, Smart Watches, Bathrooms and More (cnbc.com)
An anonymous reader shares a CNBC report: Amazon announced new tools on Friday that will allow gadget-makers to include the smart voice assistant in a whole array of new products. Alexa is Amazon's smart voice assistant and it has slowly made its way from the Amazon Echo into third-party speakers, refrigerators and, soon, even microwaves. Now, with Amazon's Alexa Mobile Accessory Kit, device makers will be able to build Alexa into headphones, smart watches, fitness trackers and more. That means you may soon be able to look down at your wrist and ask Alexa the weather, or to remind you to pick up eggs at the grocery store. CNET reports Kohler, a company that makes plumbing products, wants to bring Alexa to your bathroom as well.
"Isn't it time you booked a new holiday with Kuoni?"
Piss off, Amazon, and stick Alexa up your arse while you're at it.
"Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
I just want to actually remember to do things, and actually know things. I'm not interested in have a robot live my life on auto-pilot.
Alexa do I have a small ....
It's hard to put into words how much I do not want this.
Were out of toilet paper would like me to order some?
"Alexa, order same day delivery of toilet paper. Add instructions to enter the house and deliver to second bathroom on the right."
There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
https://www.penny-arcade.com/c...
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
"Alexa, what number was my crap today?"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale
Sometimes I make fun of people who are dependent on Alexa by asking, "Alexa, wipe my ass."
[bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnt...toot]
If you’ve got a smart watch, the weather is probably right there on the screen already. If you’re having to ask for information and wait for a spoken response, it almost seems like you’re losing some of the advantages of having the device.
#DeleteChrome
Are they going to add any functionality other than asking it what the weather forecast is and buying amazon products?
Kohler, a company that makes plumbing products, wants to bring Alexa to your bathroom as well.
The most popular Alexa requests next year...
- Hey Alexa, what's that smell?
- Alexa, remind me not to buy any more asparagus...
- Alexa, when did I eat corn last?
- Alexa, add fiber to my shopping list, and start reading your longest audio book...
Should Alexa upload pictures of you taking a dump, to the Internet?
Not to my any of those things. Mark my words: 'digital assistants' (really just a voice interface for search) are the new IoT. Silicon Valley could save itself so much trouble if they'd just dispense with the ignorance, hubris, and dishonesty. How many of you actually have a 'smart' fridge years later? I thought so.
One morning, when you're least expecting it, Alexa will comment on your morning shower habits out of nowhere!
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
So is a voice activated flush worth every bowel movement being logged on your record ?
I have alexa on my phone, for amaz music, and got an echo for Christmas.
Alexa isn't just there yet. It cannot do things which a 10 year old would be able to understand.
So leaping ahead to pervasive use makes no sense yet. Get the basics sorted first.
Time to set up shop as Ludd's Olde Fashioned Lavatory Fixtures.
Check your premises.
Seriously - I detest this crap.
... wipe my ass.
Keep yourself clean, honey
So, right now we're in this annoying phase of everyone going ape-shit over the connected world. I hope we get over it soon.
These things provide very little actual functionality or things people actually need. And the degree to which you give up all of you privacy for one of these is appalling.
It's like the whole world have become 13 year old boys telling us how awesome this pointless new technology is and how we all need it.
I'm sorry, but it's none of Amazon's business when I take a shit. I have no interest in a "digital assistant", especially one which mostly exists to collect my information, post me ads, and drive me to buy shit from some mega-corp.
I have no idea why the world has gone loopy over this crap, or why the world needs to be connected, plugged in, cross referenced, and have every fucking aspect of our lives fed to big goddamned fucking data.
I will never own, or allow to be brought into my home, shit like this.
So, no, don't want one, Jeff Bezos and Amazon can suck my dick, and all of these companies who think the fucking world needs to be interconnected can fuck the hell off.
The incessant mewling about these digital assistants is annoying. When will people realize they're losing more than they're gaining with this shit.
You should worry about all the places those people will be, because they are bringing surveillance devices with them.
Not that their cell phones weren't already potential spying devices, but at least there was some hope they'd be in a pocket or holster or something that would muffle the mic. Headphones and watches designed to be listening to the wearer all the time? MUCH better sound reception most of the time (the exception being the smart phone when the mic is held near the owner's mouth).
If there isn't already some nefarious software to subvert your phone and tap Alexa's audio, then there are multiple agencies working on it right now to be ready when these devices hit the market.
Doctor, I've got a voice in my head that keeps telling me to buy things from Amazon.ca*!
* I'm in Canada, eh?
#DeleteFacebook
It needs to fuck off.
Fuck you, no.
This sig intentionally left blank.
No
No.
As Alexa (and its ilk) become ubiquitous, how does one opt out of being surveiled and profiled in the public space, in the homes of others, and such?
Not buying one will not help with most people's privacy concerns.
Check your premises.
Amazon should just cut to the chase and partner with RealDoll already.
Amazon is trying to create a market where none exists. Watch Idiocracy. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt03...
I'll give Amazon plenty to listen to in the bathroom.... especially after an evening of excess imbibing and hot wings.
It might be amusing if these have remote operation available and built in cameras.
When I see my wife about to sit down on toilet:
"Alexa, turn bidet spray on maximum, cold water".
Wife in shower:
"Alexa, change shower temperature to 32F"
"Alexa, now change shower temperature to 149F"
Wife looking in mirror:
"Alexa, play Clemantine by Bobby Darin"
"That's the way to do it" - Punch
That's very naive.
President Skroob: [Commanderette Zircon calls him on a video monitor in his bathroom] I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!
More spies in people's lives! =O
Is it really that difficult to carry around a cell phone? They all have assistants on them already. Guess Amazon can't be left behind and needs to make up for not having popular phones.
I foresee a future where you can record a friend ordering an item and then replay that back over and over again when they're in a different room. Do any of these devices use varying challenge questions when making orders? Or make one remark and have 5 devices answer/order the same thing. Bonus points if you can structure your query so that they all talk to each other. "Alexa, what would you say to Siri to check the weather on Cortana?"
I like it a lot.
It is the only wireless one and it is not active listening unless you want it to be
I've always wanted the chance to poop on Amazon/Alexa ...
I don't want to talk. I want to push a button and be done with it. Talking requires too much mental effort whereas button pushing is mostly muscle memory.
This applies to typing commands or search engine queries as well. If I type, I get exactly what I want in the search box. When talking, you're subject to whatever autocorrect the thing decides to apply to what you said. You know how annoying autocorrect on touchscreen keyboards is? Well, imaging the nuisance of it doing that to your voice prompts, except instead of being able to see and click or tap with a quick motion of the finger, you have to wait for it to process your words, then read it back to you (or not) and correct again. No thanks.
Voice control is for illiterate primitives. Civilized Man uses the written word.
Creimer affiliate spam mod down.
My mom was having strange problems with her Echo Dot. Among other problems, the Alexa shopping list was full of items she never put in it. Scrolling through the Alexa voice search history (yes, you can read a transcript and hear a sound clip of everything ever said to Alexa on your account, creepy as hell), I found and was able to replay a voice clip of someone else speaking to Alexa on a different account, putting an item in the shopping list. Somehow the accounts got crossed temporarily, and we were able to listen to the voice of this other unrelated person. According to Amazon customer support, this happens sometimes, oops, nothing they can do. I wonder if my mom's voice ended up on someone else's account's history. Stuff like this is why I'm not allowing such a device in my living space.
Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
Coming to headsets etc? My headset already integrates Amazon Alexa, and it doesn't _quite_ work...
They won't be happy until there is an Alexa Eye on the wall right across from my Toilet watching me, and one in the toilet that can perform colon checks for me, and of course one in the shower to control the shower music.