Amazon Alexa is Coming To Headphones, Smart Watches, Bathrooms and More (cnbc.com)
An anonymous reader shares a CNBC report: Amazon announced new tools on Friday that will allow gadget-makers to include the smart voice assistant in a whole array of new products. Alexa is Amazon's smart voice assistant and it has slowly made its way from the Amazon Echo into third-party speakers, refrigerators and, soon, even microwaves. Now, with Amazon's Alexa Mobile Accessory Kit, device makers will be able to build Alexa into headphones, smart watches, fitness trackers and more. That means you may soon be able to look down at your wrist and ask Alexa the weather, or to remind you to pick up eggs at the grocery store. CNET reports Kohler, a company that makes plumbing products, wants to bring Alexa to your bathroom as well.
"Isn't it time you booked a new holiday with Kuoni?"
Piss off, Amazon, and stick Alexa up your arse while you're at it.
"Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
Alexa do I have a small ....
It's hard to put into words how much I do not want this.
"Alexa, order same day delivery of toilet paper. Add instructions to enter the house and deliver to second bathroom on the right."
There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
https://www.penny-arcade.com/c...
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Sometimes I make fun of people who are dependent on Alexa by asking, "Alexa, wipe my ass."
If you’ve got a smart watch, the weather is probably right there on the screen already. If you’re having to ask for information and wait for a spoken response, it almost seems like you’re losing some of the advantages of having the device.
#DeleteChrome
Kohler, a company that makes plumbing products, wants to bring Alexa to your bathroom as well.
The most popular Alexa requests next year...
- Hey Alexa, what's that smell?
- Alexa, remind me not to buy any more asparagus...
- Alexa, when did I eat corn last?
- Alexa, add fiber to my shopping list, and start reading your longest audio book...
One morning, when you're least expecting it, Alexa will comment on your morning shower habits out of nowhere!
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
So is a voice activated flush worth every bowel movement being logged on your record ?
Time to set up shop as Ludd's Olde Fashioned Lavatory Fixtures.
Check your premises.
"Would you like me to order a laxative, such as Metamucil?"
Check your premises.
You should worry about all the places those people will be, because they are bringing surveillance devices with them.
Not that their cell phones weren't already potential spying devices, but at least there was some hope they'd be in a pocket or holster or something that would muffle the mic. Headphones and watches designed to be listening to the wearer all the time? MUCH better sound reception most of the time (the exception being the smart phone when the mic is held near the owner's mouth).
If there isn't already some nefarious software to subvert your phone and tap Alexa's audio, then there are multiple agencies working on it right now to be ready when these devices hit the market.
Doctor, I've got a voice in my head that keeps telling me to buy things from Amazon.ca*!
* I'm in Canada, eh?
#DeleteFacebook
I just want to actually remember to do things, and actually know things.
Knowing things has fallen out of fashion. We now carry around the whole of human knowledge in our pockets and it's cramping my style. I used to be able to toss out random bits of Hollywood trivia that sound truthy and that make me look like I know something interesting. I could say something like, "Did you know Laurence Fishburne had a recurring role on PeeWee's Playhouse?" or "Did you know that Natalie Portman was cast in The Professional based on a Sesame Street performance?" That used to be mildly impressive and entertaining. Now anyone can just ask Alexa if I'm full of shit. "Knowing" things is dead. The answer to every question is "Just Fucking Google It".
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
The good thing is after you die, if your family missed you they could log into their Pro subscription to Amazooglebook Afterlife and find out what you would be doing if you were still alive.
So it would say something like "Right now he'd be having a shit, using paper products made by Kimberly Clark and secretly browsing www.reddit.com/r/holocaustporn on his phone, made by Apple. He would be crying"
And then they'd feel less bad about you dying.
Also on the Pro subscription to Amazooglebook Life you don't choose what to buy. They just send you the stuff the algorithms think you need/can afford and take the money from your Basic Income and the ads tell you to like it.
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Fuck you, no.
This sig intentionally left blank.
No
No.
As Alexa (and its ilk) become ubiquitous, how does one opt out of being surveiled and profiled in the public space, in the homes of others, and such?
Not buying one will not help with most people's privacy concerns.
Check your premises.
Amazon is trying to create a market where none exists. Watch Idiocracy. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt03...
Alexa, wipe my ass
You joke, but the "smart toilet" mentioned has a bidet, so kinda.
I'll give Amazon plenty to listen to in the bathroom.... especially after an evening of excess imbibing and hot wings.
It might be amusing if these have remote operation available and built in cameras.
When I see my wife about to sit down on toilet:
"Alexa, turn bidet spray on maximum, cold water".
Wife in shower:
"Alexa, change shower temperature to 32F"
"Alexa, now change shower temperature to 149F"
Wife looking in mirror:
"Alexa, play Clemantine by Bobby Darin"
"That's the way to do it" - Punch
President Skroob: [Commanderette Zircon calls him on a video monitor in his bathroom] I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!
I like it a lot.
It is the only wireless one and it is not active listening unless you want it to be
I've always wanted the chance to poop on Amazon/Alexa ...
I don't want to talk. I want to push a button and be done with it. Talking requires too much mental effort whereas button pushing is mostly muscle memory.
This applies to typing commands or search engine queries as well. If I type, I get exactly what I want in the search box. When talking, you're subject to whatever autocorrect the thing decides to apply to what you said. You know how annoying autocorrect on touchscreen keyboards is? Well, imaging the nuisance of it doing that to your voice prompts, except instead of being able to see and click or tap with a quick motion of the finger, you have to wait for it to process your words, then read it back to you (or not) and correct again. No thanks.
Voice control is for illiterate primitives. Civilized Man uses the written word.
Knowing things has fallen out of fashion. We now carry around the whole of human knowledge in our pockets and it's cramping my style. I used to be able to toss out random bits of Hollywood trivia that sound truthy and that make me look like I know something interesting. I could say something like, "Did you know Laurence Fishburne had a recurring role on PeeWee's Playhouse?" or "Did you know that Natalie Portman was cast in The Professional based on a Sesame Street performance?" That used to be mildly impressive and entertaining. Now anyone can just ask Alexa if I'm full of shit. "Knowing" things is dead. The answer to every question is "Just Fucking Google It".
It did make things more difficult for future Cliff Clavens, to be sure.
I just want to actually remember to do things, and actually know things.
Knowing things has fallen out of fashion. We now carry around the whole of human knowledge in our pockets and it's cramping my style. I used to be able to toss out random bits of Hollywood trivia that sound truthy and that make me look like I know something interesting. I could say something like, "Did you know Laurence Fishburne had a recurring role on PeeWee's Playhouse?" or "Did you know that Natalie Portman was cast in The Professional based on a Sesame Street performance?" That used to be mildly impressive and entertaining. Now anyone can just ask Alexa if I'm full of shit. "Knowing" things is dead. The answer to every question is "Just Fucking Google It".
As my daughter said to me "Smart devices lead to dumb people"
sigs are for losers (except to point out that sigs are for losers)
"I just want to actually remember to do things, and actually know things. "
Alas, so does the POTUS but he has to go to bed at 6:30 with a cheeseburger instead.
My mom was having strange problems with her Echo Dot. Among other problems, the Alexa shopping list was full of items she never put in it. Scrolling through the Alexa voice search history (yes, you can read a transcript and hear a sound clip of everything ever said to Alexa on your account, creepy as hell), I found and was able to replay a voice clip of someone else speaking to Alexa on a different account, putting an item in the shopping list. Somehow the accounts got crossed temporarily, and we were able to listen to the voice of this other unrelated person. According to Amazon customer support, this happens sometimes, oops, nothing they can do. I wonder if my mom's voice ended up on someone else's account's history. Stuff like this is why I'm not allowing such a device in my living space.
Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
I recently just paid $20 and $15 to remove amazon "special offers" from my devices. It is so nice to open my kindle paperwhite and start reading immediately rather than swiping off a page of ads.
"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." [Thomas Jefferson]
Coming to headsets etc? My headset already integrates Amazon Alexa, and it doesn't _quite_ work...
I have both an Echo and Google Home. I have found Google Home to be far more capable when I actually want information about something.
Even for home automation, I have found Google Home to be far more capable than the Echo. I can tell Google Home, "Turn off all lights in the living room", something the Echo is incapable of doing. When asking for information, usually Google is far more capable and it also understands context. Google understands the difference between 'what's the closest pizza parlor' and 'what pizza parlors are nearby' whereas the Echo only lists the ones nearby.
Of course, the best was when I asked 'What do you get when you multiply six by nine" where Google Home gave me the correct response, "42" and an explanation why whereas Alexa just gives 54. I guess Alexa is better if I want to do shopping through Amazon. I tried Home for shopping and it worked fine as well but I don't feel comfortable buying something purely by voice. I want to see what I'm buying first.
Both support music and I already have Chromecast so Google Home ties into that nicely. All of my devices are supported by both. I use Insteon with a Universal Devices controller which works with both and my thermostat and car are also supported.
All that said, both definitely have a long way to go but when it comes to actual intelligence for AI I think Google is definitely ahead. If I need information, Google Home is far ahead.
This post is encrypted twice with ROT-13. Documenting or attempting to crack this encryption is illegal.