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Zuckerberg Gets a Crash Course in Charm. Will Congress Care? (bgr.com)
An anonymous reader writes: It goes without saying that no tech CEO ever wants to make the trek down to Washington D.C. and appear before congress. And Zuckerberg -- at a surface level -- seems particularly ill-suited for the task. Though clearly an incredible mind, remember that Zuckerberg is a tech-minded programmer and far from a savvy and political operator. That being the case, many people are curious as to how the Facebook founder, who it's worth noting is just 33 years old, will fare when confronted with hard hitting questions from politicians.
In an effort to ensure that everything runs smoothly and that Zuckerberg's appearance goes off without a hitch, The New York Times is reporting that Facebook recently hired a team of experts and coaches tasked with ensuring that Zuckerberg has the tools to deftly navigate the potentially deep waters of Congress. Of particular interest is that Zuckerberg has been learning how to be charming and exhibit humility in the face of heavy-handed and probing questions. The report says, "It [ Facebook] has also hired a team of experts, including a former special assistant to President George W. Bush, to put Mr. Zuckerberg, 33, a cerebral coder who is uncomfortable speaking in public, through a crash course in humility and charm. The plan is that when he sits down before the Senate Commerce and Judiciary committees on Tuesday, Mr. Zuckerberg will have concrete changes to talk about, and no questions he can't handle."
In an effort to ensure that everything runs smoothly and that Zuckerberg's appearance goes off without a hitch, The New York Times is reporting that Facebook recently hired a team of experts and coaches tasked with ensuring that Zuckerberg has the tools to deftly navigate the potentially deep waters of Congress. Of particular interest is that Zuckerberg has been learning how to be charming and exhibit humility in the face of heavy-handed and probing questions. The report says, "It [ Facebook] has also hired a team of experts, including a former special assistant to President George W. Bush, to put Mr. Zuckerberg, 33, a cerebral coder who is uncomfortable speaking in public, through a crash course in humility and charm. The plan is that when he sits down before the Senate Commerce and Judiciary committees on Tuesday, Mr. Zuckerberg will have concrete changes to talk about, and no questions he can't handle."
2018: Mark Zuckerberg makes first address to Congress.
2020: Mark Zuckerberg is installed as next president.
you cant polish a turd
Question Facebook should be asking itself:
If the US government puts Facebook out of business, that will be bad for Facebook employees and investors. How many US congressional districts do Facebook employees live in? What percentage of Facebook employees are citizens eligible to vote in the US?
Lean in. Just lean in Marc. Like your COO, pretend you care about other people.
No wonder those two are interested in running for office.
Zuck: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard
Zuck: Just ask
Zuck: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS
[Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one?
Zuck: People just submitted it.
Zuck: I don't know why.
Zuck: They "trust me"
Zuck: Dumb fucks
If "Charm" is being used as a euphemism for donations, they'll care all right.
Not all 10 year olds are surrounded by affluent Harvard individuals to help the push to market through a premise of prestige and exclusivity.
Hey anonymous reader,
Get off the fucking cock, you cunt.
and Zuckerberg has lots of that. So Congress will embrace it.
"Though clearly an incredible mind,"?
I see no evidence of that.
L'Idiot
noting is just 33 years old, will fare when confronted with hard hitting questions from politicians.
So buaby is gonna be asked 'tough' questions by those mean adults.....?
"Deep waters?" "Hard hitting questions?" They are giving the US congress a lot of credit. I agree preparation is a good idea. But, perhaps he should be more prepared for a barrage of vacuous, ideological grandstanding than rigorous insight.
For the head of a company that wants to unmask people's minds, he has to fake himself.
"Mr. Zuckerberg, can you explain this picture of yourself, with a USB cable connecting your right temple to a laptop and your eyes glowing green, while Vladimir Putin stands behind you high fiving a Russian data scientist?"
"That doesn't look like anything to me."
Nothing posted to
If "Charm" is being used as a euphemism for donations, they'll care all right.
Well, he has already donated to 80% of the people "interogating" him. Then again if they actually wanted to know something they wouldn't invite a clueless CEO but someone with expertise, these hearings are always mostly show.
....the answer is almost always "NO".
The value of such consultants is mostly to try to avert some sort of colossal fuck up in front of the cameras. It's only to avoid LOSING points, it will gain him nothing because congresscreatures *swim* the in cesspool of disingenuousness and smarmy, tv-polished bullshittery 24/7. If he's not up to their level of unctuousness he can only lose.
In fact, releasing that he's being coached like this (which is, clearly, a completely STANDARD practice for those not usually in this ecosystem) is already a shot across his bow, giving the politicians one starting foothold to disbelieve anything he says "Is that the truth, or is that what your handlers told you to say to us?"
Not that Zuckerberg would provide it, but candor, honestly, simple testimony is no longer sustaining fodder for public media consumption.
-Styopa
If "Charm" is being used as a euphemism for donations, they'll care all right.
I picture his appearance,
MZ walks in to testify, two huge bodyguards lugging multiple cases behind them.
As he is sworn in, MZ opens the cases and throws millions of dollars into the air, as congress critters scurry on their hands and knees, scooping up money and tucking it into their clothes, and interns pockets.
MZ does a mike drop and walk out, testimony ended.
But in no way doesn’t that make Fuckerberg an “incredible mind.” That’s just riding the coattails of your rich parents to make your life easier.
I thought he was just a regular programmer that stole his employer's product.
" who is worth nothing is just 33 years old "
Depending on how you define worth, I think this is a better fit.
he's already been prepping for this kind of thing. He'll do fine.
Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
Congress critter: "Were you aware that user data was accessible by third parties and open to abuse?"
Zuckerberg: "I do not recall."
Congress critter: "How much of Facebook's income is derived from providing user data to third parties?"
Zuckerberg: "I do not recall."
Congress critter: "Does Facebook store or monetize deleted data, data from users that have deleted their accounts, or data collected on people who do not have Facebook accounts?"
Zuckerberg: "I do not recall."
Congress critter: "Was Facebook aware that foreign, state-sponsored actors were utilizing Facebook's data?"
Zuckerberg: "I do not recall."
Congress critter: "What steps are Facebook taking to ensure this doesn't happen again?"
Zuckerberg: "Here's $50,000 to each Committee member's reelection campaign."
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
... telling the truth?
Zuck is a programmer and has no strength on the business side.
His dilemma is that he's been elevated to a position far above his competency level.
He's learning all this data leak shit at the same time we are.
Shareholders fon't give a flying rat's ass about anything except stock prices.
Congress has called upon the wrong Facebook rep.
It little behooves the best of us to comment on the rest of us.
Zuckerberg has probably more data about most members of congress and their particular habits (that the general public might not necessarily be aware of) than congress has about him. Remember that you don't have to be on Facebook to be tracked by Facebook. All the websites that very helpfully add "Like" buttons to their articles and pages leave a solid trail, too.
Maybe the questions will not be "hitting too hard", lest some politician's browsing habits might find their way to the press. My guess is that there will be some questions that can be handled, some concessions, and after a little while all will be forgotten.
Just read this and it's essentially case closed, is it not?
Everyone is painting Zuckerberg as the incredible mind that he is, and rightfully so he is. I will say then that when you're that incredible, then you're not naive, either, and you're going to make sure you're uber prepared and 20 steps ahead. You don't become Zuckerberg of the world by being naive and clueless, ladies and gentlemen.
It's all meaningless when you've paid the same people who are questioning you. This is just dog-and-pony public show to make sure we, as a democratic for-the-people country, are doing all the right steps through vision to make it look like they give a shit. Facebook isn't going away and neither is Zuckerberg and the empire of surveillance he created, nor is his entire fucking body of think-tanks he has on puppet strings to keep carrying it out. Notice how prepared Facebook is at all times at any backlash? "Oh we are pissed about this", and less than 24 hours later there's an already baked up, engineered and software developed solution to 'deal with it how 'you think' it's being dealt with. 20 steps ahead. That's all you need to know.
This changes nothing.
He's a fucking shifty Jew. He sold us out.
Didn't you mother ever teach you not to stereotype? Not all affluent Harvard individuals are alike
Remains to be see how "hard hitting" the questioning is when the members of congress received substantial donations from Facebook and associates.
Very few tech leaders are brilliant minds. Its almost always a combination of luck and coat tails
Zuck needs more programming first.
> Though clearly an incredible mind Really? isn't this confusing success with brilliance. There are many programmers who have pioneered areas of compsci and created impressive technical work with deep insights all while on the job that deserve to be called brilliant... if zuck has done anything like that it's not publicly visible, all I can see is another lucky businessman, the fact that he can code seems more circumstantial to the success of his idea than the other way around. I fail to see the brilliance of intellect of a lucky one trick pony.
No, that was the team at the NSCA who left to found Netscape.
https://tech.slashdot.org/stor...
We worship rich people in this country. That's the number one religion: the Bitch Goddess Success. And it doesn't matter too much how you got there - as long as it's legal.
You can legally rip off millions of people on Wall Street by just making a great business deal here in there and you'll be considered a good person.
You can toil away at a low paying job, raise children with good characters, be a kind and gentle person and you'll be considered a loser because you just work hard enough.
See, the myth in this country is that there is a 1.0 correlation between hard work, education and success.
Zuckerberg had opportunities handed to him and plenty of luck: like being born to the right parents.
My point is that we have fucked up values in this society: the values of a monkey tribe somewhere on the plains of Africa. I take that back, the monkeys have better morals.
When one is called to appear in front of congress. The Congress isn't interested in the Truth, they will just try to trick you into saying something criminal.
Their constituents are pissed about this. So I think both sides will be hard on him. The Democrats don't like the idea that Facebook slandered Clinton. The republicans like the fact they can distract the Russian meddling investigation to Facebook and away from the folks in the White House (Granted they are separate investigations) to a Liberal California man.
Politically both sides have interest in seeing Zuckerberg suffer. So it isn't much about any particular facts. Cambridge Analyitica paid Facebook a lot of money, Facebook didn't bother to dig into what they were doing with the data. Facebook put trust into an algorithm, that other people figured out and manipulated to their benefit.
Are we expected to get anything new? No, but congress can parade Zuckerberg around as the ultimate bad guy and make them look like they were standing up for their constituents.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
I'd honestly consider voting for him as our first robotic president were he to actually do that.
Zuk's failure to appear before a Parliamentary Committee on Cambridge Analytica is going to have serious longterm consequences for his companies. Stupid little Heeb.
It's as clearly a cancerous technology as I've been saying it is for years and years now, and now everyone, even the non-techie 'average' people, can see the Cancer has reached the point of being terminal. Facebook will start to die off, now, and other companies that otherwise might have thought about filling the vacuum it leaves behind will think twice about it, ultimately deciding not to. Better get used to using email again, or better yet: get used to having to be (shocking!) actually social with people again. No worries, it'll be painful (for some of you, who maybe never had real social skills in the first place), but ultimately it'll be a good thing. Having real connections with real people, instead of the ersatz that was so-called 'social media', will solve a lot of problems: trolls will not be able to hide behind their keyboards, liars will have to lie to your face, and extremists will not be able to hide their insanity and violent tendencies behind reasonable-sounding rhetoric on a screen. Time to take back your lives, people; start by dumping Facebook.
Members of the House and Senate committees that will question Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg about user privacy protection next week are also some of the biggest recipients of campaign contributions from Facebook employees directly and the political action committee funded by employees. The congressional panel that got the most Facebook contributions is the House Energy and Commerce Committee, which announced Wednesday morning it would question Zuckerberg on April 11.
This is an opportunity for Congress to pretend to be mean to Zuck to show their voters that the bribe money means nothing. It will also ensure FB keeps the bribe money coming in.
Note: My phone keeps autocorrecting Zuck to Fuck.
I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
Congressional Theatre, enjoy the show!
When a company I used to work for was invited to be on TV, they accepted and hired a media person. Dud not stop our CEO from answering "Buy somewhere else." Insteaf of a stanard "We are aware of the issue and are working hard to solve the issue."
So the question will be if he actually uses it or does he think he is above the law and can outsmart them.
Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
Nazis fought again 4 great powers. Ivan secured Berlin. Following your logic, Americans are eunuchs since they got trashed by VC Ivan wannabes. Happy now?
He didn't even do it himself, did he? I thought he pinched it from Claudia Winkleman.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
This guy is aggressive, has no morals and is somewhat business-savvy. For an "incredible mind", you need a bit more. Next you will claim that the current president is an "intellectual giant"...
Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
Who the hell still stereotype in 2018 anyway? If anything, they should be surroundtyping.
#DeleteFacebook
>Though clearly an incredible mind
Nope.
Right place right time and predatory instincts. Dude's not that smart. Really.
There were MANY social media sites BEFORE and AFTER facebook.
Social Media Timeline
Mark has/had an arrogant attitude towards his users:
Of all the places to see a Claudia Winkleman reference, I never thought it would be here.
It depends...how much is Zuckerberg paying them?
Go on, citizen, stamp the vote card. R or D, your choice.
Dance for yo bees dance dance for yo bees.
Link: Link
Zuckerberg... Though clearly an incredible mind...
I'm not buying it. He probably falls into the category of "competent" at programming, somewhat ruthless garden-variety sociopath, and IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.
Save the dick-sucking for someone better.
- First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then ???, then profit.
Past experience says that the majority of these will be politicians, of both sides, making a long rambling statement which is intended to show them being a great supporter of their constituents rights but will also show them having little to no knowledge of the topic. They'll also ask "have you stopped beating your wife" type questions, want a yes/no answer to something which can't be answered that way, and expect answers from today be the same as from five or ten years ago.
I think people who are willing to use a service from a known thief with zero moral principles, are themselves, morally challenged.
It goes without saying that no tech CEO ever wants to make the trek down to Washington D.C. and appear before congress.
Um, it does actually need to be said. Plenty of tech CEOs would relish the opportunity to front Congress and chew up and spit out their political foes in such a public forum.
It doesn't need to be said that the Zuck wouldn't.
So it will just be more bullshit. Carry on.
Mr. Zuckerberg will have concrete changes to talk about, and no questions he can't handle.
Ah, Mr.... Zuckerberg. Is it not the case that Facebook's business model is founded on the premise that social interaction is a crack-like activity that can be used to lure users into providing personal information that you can relentlessly monetize?
Incredible mind? Hardly, if Zuck's mind was incredible he'd be running something like Space X; it for certain did not take and incredible mind to code the underlying mechanisms of Facebook, though it did take incredible luck and timing for it to catch on like it has where so many others failed.
If Zuck had an incredible mind he would have baked abuse prevention into the system from the get-go, his underlying idea of Facebook from the beginning is that nothing should be private; yeah really incredible thinking there...
Did you ever wake up in the morning, with a Zombie Woof behind your eyes? -- FZ
The majority of the congress critters he's talking to are on his payroll... I mean, receive campaign contributions from his company.
I, for one, am looking forward to watching Zuck sweat and choke in front of Congress. It would be icing on the cake if he was somehow led or in handcuffs for fucking over humanity and on his way out someone plays the sound effect âoeIt was at this moment...he knew he fucked up.
More like they take it in the colon.
Remember that you don't have to be on Facebook to be tracked by Facebook. All the websites that very helpfully add "Like" buttons to their articles and pages leave a solid trail, too.
That's why you install a browser plug-in like uMatrix, the Facebook cookies and scripts are blocked by default.
Mark Zuckerberg couldn't be charming if his life depended on it. All his billions can't change him from being an ugly dork.
He's worth $50 Billion. That's all the charm he needs to bring to D.C.
Remember, you don't have to take a whore to dinner, tell her you love her, or practice foreplay on her. She's a pro. Don't insult her. Just fuck her, pay her, and leave.
Note: My phone keeps autocorrecting Zuck to Fuck.
No wonder they call it a "Smart Phone".