Slashdot Mirror
New Years Resolutions From Assorted Nutcases
Jason Haas from LinuxPPC has the following resolutions: "248x768 @ 85 Hz, Merge my world domination plans with Linus's tree, Kawasaka W650:It will be mine (a Virago would be ok), Restart akido, and mv competition to /dev/null
Jon Katz , Slashdot's favorite gasbag says " I wish for Walt Disney to thaw himself out, climb out of his Cryogenimatronic Vault, show up at Walt Disney World and wreak havoc on the corporate weenies who desecrated EPCOT, his model city of tomorrow. Maybe join with the Seattle protesters and touch off a war against corporatist weenies everywhere. "
Emmett Plant is the latest editorial addition to the Slashdot Authors roster. His resolution is "to start a company called 'EmmettLinux,' which will be responsible for creating no product whatsoever. We will employ a highly-paid staff of fifty people who will show up every day and start throwing money into a furnace. I hope to IPO by March and use the cash to hire 2,000 more moneyburners and open an office in Hong Kong. I will leave soon after, selling all of my stock and retiring to the Bahamas."
Chris J. DiBona , Linux Community Evangelist for VA Linux Systems, President of SVLUG, and Grant Chair for LI, has resolved the following: ".Sleep is high on my list, but I really just like to have more time to read, this year has been pretty hard-core. I'd also like to spend more time learning power supply electronics, dc-dc transformers and such. I'm already pretty good with the digital side of things, but this is a big gap in my knowledge. Can I give more than two? I'd also like a puppy. A puppy with an X10 Cam mounted on its collar so I can put a "puppy cam" online."
Rusty Russell , kernel hacker and mad genius wishes to Learn to cook. Or trade kernel code for food. Or buy a fire extinguisher.
Eric S. Raymond is perhaps better known simply as esr... and if you don't know who he is, well, ouch. He resolves to " Catch up with my email and cut down on my traveling. It's nice to be needed, but 50% time on the road is getting ridiculous..."
Raster aka "That Enlightenment Guy" who is the only living person with more typos than me resolves simply to use procmail to allow more sleep time.
Mandrake resolves "I really need to start taking better care of my body. I haven't really worked out in about a year - and I eat too much garbage (junk food / fast food), and I REALLY need to stop drinking coke. I go through 2liters like most people drink cans of coke. I don't think it'll happen any time soon - but hopefully I'll at least be a little healthier by the end of the year."
Trae McCombs , aka X, aka MC, aka 'That Linux.com guy' resolves to "Learn to eat more foods, Incorporate working out into my lifestyle, Work less than 14hrs a day, Be kinder to others, Listen more, Talk less, Learn to code, Read more, Keep true to my ideals..."
Scott Draeker , the President of Loki Entertainment Software resolves to release a first tier Linux game which is not available for windows. Hard to argue with that one.
Kurt DeMaagd , aka The Pope, aka Rob's Roommate and the BSI number cruncher has the following:
- Combat bimetallism and establish the gold standard for currency.
- Negotiate the DeMaagd-Hay-Pauncefote treaty, allowing the U.S. to unilaterally construct an isthmian canal.
- Establish an American protectorate in Cuba.
- Suppress the Boxer uprising.
Mind you if you look closely at Kurt's resolutions, you might notice that they look strikingly similiar to President William McKinley's adminstration's high points. I'm going to have to up kurts medication.
Illiad , creator of the ever popular User Friendly comic strip says "I resolve to only take responsibility for those choices that I have control over. That means I have to give up on the idea of educating the technically-resistant, the doublespeak-inclined, and the village idiot."
Richard M. Stallman , founder of the Free Software Founding and the GNU Project gave us suggested resolutions for Slashdot readers: They are 1. Do not install any non-free software your computers and 2. Do not buy from Amazon until they stop using software patents for aggression.
CowboyNeal , the man, the myth, the legend. The guy who responds when users can't figure out how to login. The guy who maintains the slashboxes. And the guy who inhabitants the living room in the Geek Compound, resolves that he shall "Shower Every Week, whether I needs it or not." All of the co-workers in this office who have orafactory functionality thank him. It doesn't matter to me much either way.
Jim Jagielski , aka jimjag or jim@apache.org or jim@jaguNET.com, resolves to call sleep(28800) a lot more often.
Nitrozac is the creator of After Y2k... which as best as I can tell means she's about to work herself out of a job. But regardless she says "If civilization manages to hold on to its tenuous existence, I'd like to find a cure for Agalmatophilia, and have others join me to rid the world of this illness that causes so much needless suffering. If civilization crumbles, my Post-Apocalypse Resolution is to learn how to do 16-bead graphics on my abacus, so I can continue the comic. ;-)"
And finally (thank god because my wrists are tired) is Jeff "Hemos" Bates , a man who needs no introduction (but he does need a solid smack to the head).He says "With the coming of El Ano Neuvo, I resolve that I'm going to continue my battle against the dread forces of The Krull Invasion. I think that I might also try to learn some grammar. Per'aps. And maybe I'll learn how to spell a few more words as well".
In cooperation with the Clinton Administration's plea for there to be no hacking incidents on the eve of the new year, I resolve not to take out any of the code I'm working on and improve on it.
I just hope the crackers don't do anything meanspirited tonight. :-)
sorry about that, my new years resolution, should I live to see the new year, is to never make another resolution.
del c:\micros~1\*.*
This year I resolve to overtake the geek compound in a deft military manouver. When I am succeed, I will gain amin access of Slashdot and delete everything 'Jon Katz', thusly gaining popularity among newsreaders everywhere.
When I am finished, I will return command to the boys currently in charge.
And threaten to do it again if they let JK return.
i resolve to pour more bowls of hot grits down my pants on a daily basis. thank you.
get the first post :) get more karma
mvg,
Kris "dJOEK" Vandecruys
Exercise caution when modding this message up: the author acts like a jerk when his karma is excellent.
and I hope it's a satisfying pee too.
(Actually I'm gonna make sure I know vb...)
The price we pay for immortality... is death. Narnia The Great Fall
640 x 480 is out. 1240 x 1064 is viable, but can cause pixellation. Too bad I can't get a flat panel- that'd be great resolution. I'd put something funny, but tonight will be enough of a joke when everything turns out right.
I resolve to stop pouring hot grits down my pants.
Uh... Errrmmm... I forgot, I've never poured hot grits down my pants. Never mind...
Dive Gear
--- Think of it as evolution in action ---
I've never had a New Year's resolution before, and so I resolve to think up a a good resolution for next year, so I can start the new millenium on a good foot.
:)
Oh, and I won't be *too* smug when speaking to crackpot survivalists who are trying to find the receipts for all the canned food they bought
Dana
Mine is to learn how to do the laundry, or actually do it, so I don't have to come home from college so often. I may code, but darn it if i know how to throw clothes into a machine.
MOO
After the new year I reslove to crack down and find out what the deal is with this whole Y2K thing. What does it stand for and why does only a couple of elite people know about it? I wish their was some panic attacks about it so I could firgure out what is going on. Y2K; anyone know what this is/does/means?
Secondly I am going to get some high karma. Oh yea, HEY moderator, yea you, jack me up a couple points will ya? Come on Mr. Moderator, it is new years, spead some points this way will ya?
"`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'" -THHGTTG
I resolve not to sneak into my neighbour's yard at 12:01 and cut his power, phone and cable lines. I also resolve to stop causing excessive osmosis in my basement.
catch it?
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
Hey all,
;)
Well come 2000 I will be of voting age (that's 18 here in England) so things from here can only get interesting
Anyway, resolutions :
1) Sod the world, I've had problems with my happiness, was bullied at school and am now adored at college. So, if you're going to try to piss me off, you're now going to get a slap. I'm not going to take masses of crap from anyone any longer.
2) Love. I am not going to go out with any more girls when I have a feeling in the back of my mind that something's not right. I've been cheated on with every one of these girls that I've had doubts about. No more.
3) Work. I know that I am good at music and computing. When I work at it I can do amazing things. The time has now come where I'm going to stop being so bloody lazy and make myself into the person I know I am.
These are my big three which I know I can achieve... number three is certainly going to be an interesting challenge, but I know that deep down, I *can* do it.
Working harder next year so I can afford more coke.
Doing more coke next year so I can work harder.
Working harder next year so I can afford even more coke.
Doing even more coke so I can work even harder.
Working harder than ever....
To Emmett Plant : ... ...
Sorry, LinuxOne already thought about it
To Chris J. DiBona :
We'll have time to sleep when we're dead
Happy new Year, century, mille^H^H^H^H^H
I will try to
1) Get a life
2) Stop Smoking
3) Stop Drinking
4) Stop Eating Junkfood
5) Fail in points 2-3-4 before 0:00/1/1/Y2K
after the nuclear dust settles and i start a farm here in southern virginia i plan to take a trip across the giant desert that was once our great country on my hummer. I will come and visit you'll, and i will gather the materials nescessary to build my floating city. once my floating city is constructed i won't be able to leave, because i'll have too much work to do. But if any of you ever want to come visit my floating city some day i will greet you with open arms, all you must do is tell me "i just poured hot grits down my pants" and i will realize you are one of the many slashdot readers and i will welcome you.
So, in Spanish, there is a rather big difference between an n with a tilde over it and one without.
I assume Hemos was talking about the new year, not a new ass.
Of course, I've heard the stories about the Slashdot compound...
Starting this year in 99, I'll be using 4 digit years in all my coding in 00 and beyond.
_________________________
My resolutions are to find the woman of my dreams, win three Nobel Prizes (I don't much care which one, but medicine would be fave) and save the world twice. Son of the Righteous Fool Seek for the Sword that was Broken In Imladris it dwells There shall be counsels taken Stronger than Morgul Spells
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist." Salman Rushdie
My resolutions are to find the woman of my dreams, win three Nobel Prizes (I don't much care which one, but medicine would be fave) and save the world twice.
Son of the Righteous Fool
Seek for the Sword that was Broken
In Imladris it dwells
There shall be counsels taken
Stronger than Morgul Spells
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist." Salman Rushdie
can get you prepared to be ready for the millennium. i resolve to throw crap away and not be a packrat (except on my hard drives.)
i also resolve to ignore their/there/they're mistakes, but not its/it's errors.
stored on computers from birth to the grave
Hemos, Hemos, Hemos,...
You must remember to put the tilde in your new years resolution and learn to spell.
El Ano Neuvo == The Neuvo anal sphinchter.
El Año Nuevo == The New Year
I hereby resolve to actually install Linux on my Dual Pentium box and actually do something useful with it as opposed to being a big weany and just tell everyone that I've already done it...
for stealing my nick! :)
Happy new year, whenever it hits ya!
Pope
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
...is to make no more new years resolutions.
my res for last year was to make a friend at ontario hydro and persuade him/her to flick the switch at midnight(the ultimate prank) sad to say but with only 13 hours I may not complete this one. oh well another one bytes the dust. this year? well mine is well a little less destructive. my res is to get my truck painted 1 color with no primer and no duct tape... well maybe the duct tape can stay... the moral of me wasting your time? new years is just another day and if you need an excuse to get something done then it probably won't happen. eg) NT---Blue Screen NT -- Uptime Nt -- Y2K compliant???
IT HAS YOU....
1024 by 768. And "Kawasaki". Embarrasing, considering I'm always fixing other people's spellings. ;p
-- haaz.
Subject: Y2K
"Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction
_________________________
I resolve to train an army of geeks and storm Microsoft's headquarters, based on my success in Starcraft, Quake, and Rainbow 6.
I resolve to give a hoot, and not Pollute
I resolve to get the world record for number of altoids consumed
Awwww. What the heck.. It is to much work anyways
-Kai Rasmussen Life, Don't talk to me about life. Here I am, Brian the size of a Planet, and it is Can you pick up the
...I will have a better year than I did the last. I've had that resolution for 6 years now and it's worked up til now!!
Of course, this year will be easy as I'm out of school and moving to Sillycon Valley for a RealJob (tm)
Doesn't it make you feel good to search something like dice.com for the work "Linux" and find over 2000 hits? I know I get all warm and fuzzy inside.
He didn't say "Post-Colombine Era" or anything!
Check out Cookwise by Shirley Corriher. Truly a Geek cookbook -- no it doesn't have recipes for Coke and Hoho casserole, it's just the kind of cookbook that Julia Child would have written if she had a degree in chemistry (in fact, Shirley is who Julia calls when she can't get a recipie to work).
She goes behind the lore to the science of cooking; down to the chemical and physical properties of the ingredients. As a result, not only are the recipies unusually reliable, but relatively simple for the results you get.
Amaze your mom with hard boiled eggs with yolks that stay as yellow as butter! Make grandma envious of your incomparable pie crusts! Win the heart of that gal down in accounting with chocolate cakes that equal or exceed those from the fanciest bakery!
Remember: Knowledge is Power; Science is Knowlege; and Cooking is Science.
Good luck, and have fun!
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Sorry, I should have used Plain Old Text. See the next one down if you'd like it clearer.
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist." Salman Rushdie
I resolve to boycott any product with the number 2000, Y2K, or millennium (or any "clever" variations on the words) in its title.
Exceptions are 1. a calendar. 2. If Apple starts adding year numbers to its machine lineup since there isn't much other way to tell a spring 1999 powerbook from a fall 1999 powerbook except for the keyboard color. i.e. user says I have a Powerbook G3, Admin asks "original, bronze keyboard, or [whatever distinguishes the next version]?"
2) Love. I am not going to go out with any more girls when I have a feeling in the back of my mind
;)
that something's not right. I've been cheated on with every one of these girls that I've had doubts
about. No more.
I vow to continue seducing your girlfriends
VB - If you're to stupid to use a computer
Jordan Bettis
``Wherever you go, there's another stupid sigfile quote.''Using SwitchRes, I can do 640x780 on a PowerTower. I have no idea why it works, but it's a legal resolution on the MacOS. Weird.
Pope
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
Besides resolving more DNS entries... aka, more web surfing, I plan on getting up off my computer (what a shock!) and seing the (dare I say) world. Also I want to get a bit more active in the Linux community, learn C, get my MCSE (I'm sorry, but I need the dough), learn PHP3 and 4, fix my Linux IrDA problems, install a Linux kernel on an SH3 processor, make Bill pay for his crimes against humanity, and make more prhases with my Fridge Code.
Happy New Year's Slashdotters!
Phaser6047
First of all, IANAC (I am not a chemist, for the acronym inference impaired), but I don't remember ever hearing of the human body performing this process. Sorry if I've burst your bubble yet again, but maybe you should have resolved something simpler than turning oxygen into carbon dioxide. Something like maintaining homeostasis perhaps. Or growing fingernails... Feel free to bash me over the head with pointy things if I've made a fool of myself... or maybe just laugh.
My resolutions are the same as the ones proposed by RMS, with the addition of:
3. Do not install GNUstep until the non-free icon situation is resolved.
Stating on Slashdot that I like cheese since 1997.
My new year resolution is for higher X resolution
Boy, are you a dumbass.
Definetly! 1-2 times a month is just not enough
J.
As for you homely hacker boys at home alone, well, I'm sure you won't lack of my girlfriend stop you. :-)
I'm only making one resolution. I resolve not to make any resolutions. Oh, drat! I broke it already!
.cig - what you do after winning a good flame war
I resolve that, my copule hundred line todo list will shrink. I shall transform it from a fantasy document containing tasks that would take me but one caffeine motivated evening yet have remained unfulfilled for years on end, into a lean, mean, "cool shit I haven't yet put onto my killboard" machine. (As such, I now have a ridiculously massive list of resolutions. Great.)
I resolve that, I will care despite the pressure not to, and plunge forward in face of the obvious risk.
I resolve to be less surprised by life making literary sense. Foreshadow this!
I resolve that I shall watch more of the Simpsons, and share in the tragic truth that only an animated show can so skewer so many disturbing aspects of society and still get away with it.
I resolve that I will somehow meet this "CowboyNeal" guy that Rob keeps beating on.
I resolve to learn about such modern concepts as "responsibility", "professionality", and "security through inebriation".
I resolve to end this list.
Yours Truly,
Dan Kaminsky
DoxPara Research
http://www.doxpara.com
My resolution is to be more true to my ideals, to be more active, to be more nice, to be better in what I'm good, to be no longer communication-challenged, to waste less time in bad distractions, and to fight even more to obtain what I want on my life.
--- Sueños del Sur - a webcomic about four young siblings
Can't any of these guys cook? I'm sure it can't be that hard, I've seen it done thousands of times.... I would say more about this but I can't write anymore, I'm off to Taco Bell...
a) keep an eye on SourceForge
b) help out with WorldForge (no relation)
c) finish the G27 gigs page
d) actually finish any project that I start
e) quit smoking again (cigs that is)
f) keep at least one of my new year's resolutions this year.
numb
I'm going to spend more time whipping the masses up into dramatic y2k frenzy type situations that only I can resolve in the nick of time to save the world - this is kinda fun! certainly releives the monotony of being alive. Boojum
I resolve to stop working for a living and write more Open Source code.
I resolve to get the critters out of my attic.
I resolve to write 3,000+ words (or tokens) a day on my own projects: programming, documentation, or fiction.
I resolve to get a new lifestyle.
Just be sure to wear the gold uniform when you beam down -- you know what happens when you wear the red one.
I resolve to wear my new Slashdot, beware of nerd T-shirt from copyleft to a New Year's Eve party tonight, and maybe even explain it to people. I also resolve to continue hacking (hint to law enforcement: hacking is writing good code, cracking is breaking into other people's systems). How else are we going to get good code, if we don't do it ourselves?
This guy is a karma whore!
't used to be LawnMOWER, really...
Starting this year in 99, I'll be using 4 digit years in all my coding in 00 and beyond.
I'm going to start using single digit years. At least for checks and stuff like that. I figure each time I have to write out a date over the next 10 years I can save my self the effort of writing an unnecessary zero.
So, as of tomorrow the date is 1/1/0 as far as I'm concerned.
numb
I'm a big fan of Nitrozac's comic... I think it's one of the smartest and funniest things to come out of the 20th century.
What's bugging me lately, besides that millennium thingy... is why do normally intelligent people (including Cmdr Taco) assume the comic will be ending? (Nitrozac has made it very clear that it won't be ending, and that the comic will continue!)
Perhaps they suffer from some kind of Y2-Brain Bug that prevents them from reading the first word of a two word title? After all...the comic is called After Y2K!
Oh Nitrozac... cheers on standing up to the agalmatophilic idiots that try their hardest to spoil things around here! All the best in the New Year!
Moderate that one up!
I've stopped eating at Burger King since they nabbed the Pokèmon contract.
On a related note:
I'm compiling a list of standard units.. football fields, breadboxes, Niagara Fallses, cow-skeletonization minutes, Encyclopediae Brittanica(sp?), Empire State buildings, and anything else that people frequently use as a basis for comparison.
I'm thinking of adding "y2k" as the standard unit of hype, newsmedia-terrorism, consumer foolishness, and general bogosity.
Umm Walt Disney was cremated and the ashes buried at Forest Lawn.
Quit pushing the urban legend. You might have the forces of the United Magic Kingdom after you...again.
hehe
I resolve to pay my ISP bill in a timely manner so that they won't cut me off in mid-sen*7(^%#.@@`;NO CARRIER
maybe I'm just missing the artistic beuaty of this creation, but I am incredibly disturbed by that haiku. My only solace is the chance that the writer has started drinking early. Hopefully very early and in insanely large quantities.
if at first you don't succeed, shoot the consultant who suggested you try in the first place...
Could you guys automatically moderate down any reference to "grits", "Natalie Portman", or "statues"? This stuff wasn't funny the first time. I'd rather be blindsided by a Micros~1 troll than read this. This guy must be a real hit at parties. Sheesh. And no, I don't think I'm encouraging him (we know it's not a her) by responding to his post. He is obviously *not* discouraged by being ignored. -freehand
i resolve to print and wear, (and perhaps market) a t-shirt that reads: "Richard M Stallman can smoke my pole."
My New Year's Resolution is to break all of my New Year's Resolutions.
I'm not quite sure how to go about it though.
:-)
That which does not kill me only makes me whinier
I've got a thing against new year resolutions. I figure, if you see something that needs fixing, just fix it. If you need a NYR to get it done, you probably won't.
I, though, have thought long and hard on several life-enriching improvements that I'm in need of making, so I'm taking this opportunity to just do them. I'd call them millenial resolutions, but I may actually do that when the millenium arrives a year from now.
I hereby resolve, on the occasion of my realizing it, to take back my time in my life, and not let everybody else decide my priorities. This means my mother-in-law, my parents, my sister, my father-in-law and especially, my wife. My son is only 5, so he gets to butt in and remind me not to work too hard.
I hereby resolve to put money near the top of my priority list. Money isn't everything, but everything costs money.
There. It isn't much, but it will sure ease my stress levels, and help me get more done.
Visit Lockjaw's Lair. He won't bite.
--
Theres a small chance this site won't be up come the roll around later tonite. Just in case; I want to go ahead, and wish every one a happy ne...Ack, screw it you lousy bastards!
Actually! After a surreal visit to the local mega-grocery store today, and noticing the lemmings trailing out the doors with jugs of "Evian"; I emptied out my bank account ($15.05), bought a new toilet plunger (weapon), grabbed some meat from the deli (to ward of the monsters), and head back home to bunker in. When the impending apocalyptic bang comes down, I hope I mutate with the body features of a super: running, jumping, clawing, bloody-fanged beastie; so I can menace the hood and claim my dominance on the factions that form from the surviving population.
After I take control of the city; I plan on bringing all the rest of the mutants to the capital city to help me control the rest of the state by inflicting anyone who opposes us with our acid spitting armpits and lazer beaming eyeballs. Once the entire state of Indiana is under the "Mutant Faction of Jack" law. We will begin to take control of the rest of the planet; enslaving the few tatter millions of helpless souls who survived the armageddon.
If nothing happens, and everything is peaceful come Sunday morning. Then I'll guess I have to go wash my Jeep. Its dirty with all the snow this winter. 'Till then; Happy New Ye.. Ahhh screw it ya bastards!
-Oy Vey
As I have the misfortune to be on site at 1am GMT on January 1st this year, I have resolved to take 4 bottles of Moet & Chandon in to work with me for 3 reasons.
1: If all goes well, no y2k problems occur and I can relax reading a book and sipping on my champagne to celebrate 3 years of effective y2k compliancy testing.
2: If all goes wrong, I want to be in a suitably inebriated state before explaining to the MD of a large railway company why he can't sell any tickets on January 1st as the servers are down.
3: If I can't get a train ticket home in the afternoon, I might as well stay in London and get drunk!!
My other resolutions are as follows:
1: Complete all 4 Tomb Raiders in one session without having to save, eat, drink, sleep or smoke.
2: Following the luctrative nature of the industry this year, I intend to mail all of my customers and the media to alert them of the little known "true millennium bug" when the new millennium actually starts on January 1st 2001. Hopefully the media will hype this to extreme levels and I can retire next year having charged the equivilant of the national debt of Uzbekistan simply to run scripts and putt little "true millennium compliant" stickers on everything I see.
3: Convince my mother that my job title is actually "Network Architect" in the hope she stops telling her friends her son "works in computers"
4: Invite all my co-workers round to watch "Wargames" yet again while talking about the "good old days" of 8" floppy disks, gopher and 300 baud accoustic cups connectic to such wonderful equipment as Dragons, Apricots and my all time favorite, the Commodore Pet.
5: Sneer at everyone who has not yet installed Gigabit Ethernet in their appartment purely to play Quake III with fellow nerds.
Philosopher (n) - a wise person who is calm and rational; someone who lives a life of reason with equanimity
Love
The Penguin
It's Your Money or Your Life, after all.
To use FIVE digit dates in my coding so there won't be a Y10K bug. ;)
I resolve to be less violent in the coming year, but I'll only do this after the initial chaos has passed... ...until then, I'm going to take anything I need (and kill everyone who tries to stop me.) I'll warn you, I've been well trained in the violent ways of Doom and Quake... - goon
Or possibly the world?
Enough said.
---
But what about RMS's resolutions for himself? I mean, maybe he could resolve to use a shampoo/conditioner that makes his hair less wily or something?
If 90% of everything isn't crap, your standards are too high.
---"Without education there is only ignorance"
My resolution is participate in the coming Apocalypse, and the total decay of society. When the looting begins, I'll be there with ammo on. My first strike point is the electronics store downtown. Then on to the place where dreams are made... the Butcher shop. Meat Meat. Meat!!!!
After that, I'm not sure, but I'm watching ClockWork Orange for inspiration.
I resolve to get drunk more often. And to get laid, too. Sure as hell beats wondering if the software on my computer is Free.
I resolve not to spend *all* my free time playing with Linux, or with Photoshop, or with Illustrator, or playing Quake, or doing any of the other massive time-wasters installed on my computer.
I also resolve to finally teach myself to program in C.
I further resolve to ignore the fact that those two resolutions are contradictory.
Bah! All you people admitting your fallacies. To paraphrase Calvin:
I don't need to make any New Year's resolutions. I'm perfect. It's everyone else that needs to change.
Good luck meeting yours. I've already met mine.
I resolve to spend more time on important things and less reading Slashd
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Go ahead, blame me... I voted for Nader!
I resolve not to make any resolutions and to do whatever the hell I feel like doing. Well, unless my boss tells me otherwise, then I shall humbly beg his forgiveness and do what I want anyways. But he'll think it's done. oh yes.
Monkeyboy.
We emerge from our mother's womb an unformatted diskette; our culture formats us. - Douglas Coupland
His resolution is "to start a company called 'EmmettLinux,' which will be responsible for creating no product whatsoever. We will employ a highly-paid staff of fifty people who will show up every day and start throwing money into a furnace. I hope to IPO by March and use the cash to hire 2,000 more moneyburners and open an office in Hong Kong. I will leave soon after, selling all of my stock and retiring to the Bahamas."
Sorry, I'm informing /. that this idea is clearly >patent pending with "AfterLinux," my pseudo-namesake distro. What? Details? Why would investors want to be bothered with those, it has Linux in the name.
Of course, I hereby resolve not to surpress "artistic expression" and "move away" from my suit in progress, but I damn well better not catch any sort of emmittlinux.com /.org/.net around. That's why they have .mi.us.
--Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
i hope the world does come to an end, not because of y2k, but because of rioters tearing through the streets, i hope the world goes up in flames, so that i may watch it from an apartment window with a sick little smirk on my face, revling in the uncontrollable mass hysteria. oh wait, this is supposed to be a nyr, hmmm, in that case i resolve that i will not actually _try_ to incite the aforementioned riots, if they so happen to come about i'll blame it on the media's constant reference to that thing in colum.. no, i can't get myself to utter that word. but oh, how i'd like to see buildings topple, people in a chaotic frenzy killing each other, burning each other, dying off 1 by 1, and when it comes to be my turn, i'll ruin their fun and go out of the world in a peaceful mindset. and i think i'm going to switch back to the julian calendar...
Dunno, this is all too much personality-worship for me.... which isn't what got linux where it is today.
My resolution is to add just ONE more face to my list of split personalities that often occur in me...
- Mike Roberto
-- roberto@apk.net
--- AOL IM: MicroBerto
Berto
B. Johannessen
Acts@core.mailboks.com Acrux@core.mailboks.com Adam@core.mailboks.com Adar@core.mailboks.com Ada@core.mailboks.com
I resolve to:
TheGeek
http://www.geekrights.org
TheGeek
TheGeek
http://www.geekrights.org
Kill the monkey
I know Jon K. was kidding, but its an urban legend that Walt Disney is frozen. AFU (and "Ask Cecil") put that one to rest a while ago.
:)
For myself, I resolve to stop making resolutions.
-FreshGroundPepper
(Yes this is sort of off-topic, but the geek in me can't let this slide without saying something
We don't have 'em in .au (well, not by tht name anyway).
I'll be dead and gone when the Y2K1 problem sticks it's head up. I'll continue to code with 2 digit dates and do it in write-only perl, and not comment my code. That will give a whole new generation of geeks something to do 100 yrs from now.
e) quit smoking again (cigs that is)
As opposed to myself. I resolve to quit smoking, because it tends to char my clothes, and people tell me the smell of burned flesh is not attractive. Heck, even getting my extremities lit so I can smoke is getting difficult, as I've burned off all my fingers now. (I'm typing this with my nose.)
dragonhawk@iname.microsoft.com
I do not like Microsoft. Remove them from my email address.
The only New Year's resolution that I ever kept is the last one I ever made: I resolved never to make another New Year's resolution.
Works for me.
Happy Y2K everyone!
Ideology is for ideots.
i wish it were that easy to go to sleep and stay asleep for eight hours
--
The shareholder is always right.
I resolve to buy my own home.
I resolve to deal with my substance abuse and associated issues
I resolve to visit my parents
I resolve to pay more than lip service to the word 'respect'
I want a bunch of Certs, from Cisco, to Java, to MCSE, to Network+ and A+ I want them all, then I wont have to slave around working for $10/hr like every other non-certified person does.
... is 800x600 unfortunately until I get a new monitor. :(
-- iCEBaLM
My Y2k resolution?
Ask me in 48 years. But for now 1024x768 will do.
----------------
Have you read my journal today?
1. Spend > $50.00 per month on Gizmos that I don't need to survive. This year i've spent close to $400 a month on things that I really don't need i.e.
2. Go to school and get a CS:IS degree (it should just take me 3 more years)
3. Become more sensitive, and stop laughing at dumb girls if they're cute (and if they're sitting at the same table)
4. change www.nullnvoid.org to www.nv.com and make my own linux distro and go ipo and retire.
5. hunt down the shit who keeps on sending me spam (ADV Adult) I'm going to hunt you down and kill you, or sue you so i can null resolution #1.
The dish itself is a traditional Southern breakfast food (South-East US). Some people like 'em, some people don't.
Jeff
Oh well. I suppose the paycheck will come in useful for FINALLY paying off the car loan :/
Well, my resolutions for this year are:
1: To finally get round to finding Mr Right. Or even Mr Acceptable. I've been promising myself to get me a boyfriend for the past 3 years, but work has always got in the way. NO MORE!
2: To start my new job (woohoo) on Jan 4th without a hangover.
3: To sell my house and move somewhere nicer.
4: To finally get control of my finances. (haha)
5: To get into shape and stop eating junk food.
6: To stick to at least half of the aforsesaid resolutions.
Right, now I think I'll go and find a book to read.
Happy New Year all
Rich
Just one here: whenever anyone says "Y2K" in my presence, I will hit them over the head with a can of Spam. (If I had more foresight, this would have been my resolution for 1999.)
For reasons I never learned, the high school I went to had an annual beauty contest parody called the Miss Año Nuevo Pageant, in which all the contestants were guys in drag. Most of the posters announcing the event left out the tilde, leaving lots of people wondering...
Every year I pick a new years resolution and ever year it doesn't come true. [...] This year my resolution is to continue converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Given that your resolutions never come true, is it wise to make a resolution that if you fail will be because of your death?! Sounds like you're challenging the fates, man!
and she picks her butt and eats it while fingering herself. Then she pees and eats.
I like Jon Katz!!! What makes everyone so angery at him? His oppinions are well formulated and he always has concrete facts to support them. Is there anything wrong with the fact that he doesn't conform to the usual idiocy and stereotyping of the average person?
"If it wasn't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done."-Unkown
i couldn't live without them.
Grits r00l...
... same here, though I'm confident that we will achieve near simultaneity. Imagine if thw whole world did them same thing. Would the Earth really move? :P
Nitrozac: "If civilization manages to hold on to its tenuous existence, I'd like to find a cure for Agalmatophilia, and have others join me to rid the world of this illness that causes so much needless suffering. "
:) And she's French Canadian too ... yumm
agalmatophilia: a fictional paraphilia, not yet observed as a syndrome, in which the sexuoerotic stimulus is a nude statue or model of a human being [from Greek, agalma, image + -philia]. Synonyms, statuophilia; Pygmalionism. See also pictophilia.
I'm am so glad Nitrozac is going to rid us of the "Naked/Petrified" people
---
--
Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
Dude, you're supposed to change something about you, or the way you act, etc. You're not supposed to wait for your resolutions to "come true". That'd be a wish. You do that when you blow out the candles.
He didn't make any :P Just gave us ideas on what we should resolve to do :P WHat the hell is that? What are mine? 1. Start working out... 2. Get my back fixed... 3. Make up for those 2 A-s I got last quarter 4. Actually finish at least one of my numerous projects 5. Stop drinking coffee by the gallon etc.... jik-
No, wait, that's my 1999 resolution! Is it too late? Damn! Why do these things always come up at the last minute?
It must be frustrating to know that you *can't* get both of your resolutions!
First po... -1 Offtopic
All software I ship now includes this clause in the license.
:-(
"This software family is guaranteed to correctly handle the date change from 9999 to 10,000. However a patch, to be released in 9998, will be required to protect your system from unknown errors. Yin98 will be available for only $99.99 as an upgrade to Yin95."
Send orders to:
YinDOS
42 Core
Dump, PC 12345
Enjoying the time rollover...just wish there had been a disaster to make reading tomorrow's paper interesting
Let's see...
I resolve to:
1)Figure out how to keep a girlfriend now that I've got one...
2)Make a 4.0 on 22 hours (yeah, right...), and then however many I take in the fall...
3)Try to get back into shape...
I'm taking bets on how long any of these last.
This space intentionally left blank.
maybe we should get a new category?
WTF are "hot grits" anyway?
i dunno. ask bub.
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"Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16
Sacred cows make the best burgers.
Well, I'm sick of breaking all those new year's resolutions over the years. This year I resolve to stick to my resolution. yes sirree bob, no matter what, i'm gonna go through with my resolution this time.
I resolve to keep fighting spam and spammers. I resolve to gain full control over my own server farm and domain instead of virtual hosting. Most importantly, perhaps, I resolve to have as much fun as I possibly can in the coming year, and for as long as I can still walk upright in a reasonably steady fashion. Keep the peace(es).
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"Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16
Sacred cows make the best burgers.
to take over the world and .............
I resolve to brew better beer!
-Derick Wiant
Here it is, 60 seconds (PST) before midnight, and we're too damn tired.... awww... maybe next time....
*sigh* How about using "crackers" properly, eh? Unless you were afraid those DeCSS people were going to brutally crack some more DVD movies to watch on new year's, eh?
It figures... rather than resolve to improve his own behavior, he gives us orders designed to starve the children of honest programmers. *blech*
My resolution went something like "Aviod using and hearing the word Millennium in regular speech, unless I happen to be singing that kewl Robbie Williams song." There's no chicken like an old chicken. Of course, what with PC terms and all, there's no flight enabled domestic avian like a youthfully challenged flight enabled domestic avian. Fine, so it's not funny. I bet the chickens like it, though. Nyeah.
Ryvita.
Over the past couple years, hundreds of emails have piled up that I should have replied to and handled in some way, but I didn't because I was both busy and lazy. At the same time, I've been accumulating quite a few books about things I want to learn. They sit on a shelf or the floor, mostly unread. Sometimes I look at all that I am supposed to be doing and want to do, and it's just overwhelming. My time management is severely lacking. The dawn of the 2000s (with the 3rd millennium / 21st century now less than a year away) provides an excellent opportunity to get my life in order.
:)
I've given some thought to how I can learn and do more while enjoying a less chaotic life. Rather than just semipassively dealing with things as they come, I need to set specific goals and outline incremental steps toward their achievement. These steps should be mapped into a timetable that I will make a sincere effort to follow. This will not and should not be rigid, but should allow flexibility and changes as appropriate. I'm not going hard-line on myself -- just trying to apportion my time in an optimal manner.
Here's an example of how I intend to work this: I would like to learn Perl in the first half of this year. I own O'Reilly's Learning Perl book, which has 19 chapters. I'm in chapter 2. All I need to do is read at least three chapters per month (trying for one a week), and I should have enough basic skills to make my website more dynamic. It's easy to allocate an hour here and there for a trivial chunk of reading. What's important is that I stick to it.
I'll probably read several books concurrently so I don't get bored or frustrated with one while another one like Java beckons enticingly. No log jams here.
I'm not limiting this time management approach to just books, either. There are some things I seriously need to work on IRL. Exercise is just one of these. I've found it hard to drag myself to a nearby health club for a few minutes every week. Well, I'm going to step it up, because a healthy body leads to a healthy mind... or at least a better lifestyle.
But the point of this message is that I believe that self-discipline is the key to achieving goals and making the most of the time and resources God has given us.
Happy 2000!
Why would you think that? Sorry you wan't handle reality.
Must learn to type on Dvorak. Grrr. It's difficult. emblem
Must learn to type on Dvorak.
Grrr.
It's difficult.
emblem
I resolve to start working on the y10k problem now, so it doesn't wait till the last couple years and get hyped up way out of proportion.
After 37 years of being nice, I, clever_shark, resolve to be naughty.