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User: CaptainPatent

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Comments · 569

  1. Re:Interesting on New Contestants On the Turing Test · · Score: 4, Funny

    If we don't have the right to switch off a conscious machine (one that passes the Turing test) does that imply we have the right to switch off a human who fails a Turing test?

    *mutters under breath*
    please be yes... please be yes... please be yes.

  2. Re:sounds toxic on New Solar Cell Sets World Efficiency Record · · Score: 2, Funny

    Unless you grind them up and snort them you're probably safe.

    Oh crap... You mean you're not supposed to do that!?!?

    I better call my doctor.

  3. Re:Joke Becomes Reality on IBM Wants Patent On Finding Areas Lacking Patents · · Score: 1

    You have to love it when a common joke on Slashdot - that of patenting the process of patenting ideas - has finally come to pass.

    Fortunately for us your above summary of the situation is dead wrong. This is an application for a patent and not a patent itself. We do get tons of crazy ideas that come in our offices here everyday and if every one of them became a patent it would be a crazy world.

    This application has around 2 years before it's even touched by an examiner and while there have been mistakes in the past (see Amazon one-click which did become a patent and then was repealed) I don't think you'll hear too much about this down the road.

  4. Re:Ingenious on IBM Wants Patent On Finding Areas Lacking Patents · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I'm can't expressly give my opinion of patentability, but I can say that there is a lot of case law on applications about filing patents (how, for what, automation, etc.) and none to my knowledge have gone through.

  5. Re:patent patents! on IBM Wants Patent On Finding Areas Lacking Patents · · Score: 1

    Newsflash: This was IBM's effort to patent thinking about patents. They just patented a method of finding new areas that don't have patents.

    Newsflash: This is not a patent, it is an application for a patent.

  6. Re:From the article on Adobe Flaw Allows Full Movie Downloads For Free · · Score: 1

    See? He (whoever he is...) thinks piracy won't be a problem... it's too complicated to pirate stuff... people would rather pay... something like that anyway. And he's an analyst, so that makes it official, right?

    Really?

    Lemme throttle down bittorrent so I can load that article.

  7. sounds like the gas chromatograph... on Universal Surface Scanner Detected · · Score: 1
    from the Simpsons:

    Professor Frink:

    Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?

  8. Re:-456 degrees? on LHC Offline Until April 2009 (Or Longer) · · Score: 5, Informative

    I thought the absolute zero was at -273...ah, damn americans!

    I thought absolute zero was at 0...
    ah, damn humans.

  9. Re:Nazi moderation at WikiPaedia on Saving Geek Lore and Other Wikipedia Castoffs · · Score: 1

    Sad, that's actually a useful list! And surely socially and culturally relevant too.

    I find it childish of Wikipedia to actually delete articles that would be interesting to some people at least.

    I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.

  10. as a sidenote prediction: on Bruce Sterling On Gaming in 2043 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Duke Nukem Forever still won't be out, but Leisure Suit Larry will be the new most anticipated game.

  11. Re:the truth is on Plane Simple Truth · · Score: 1

    2 out of 4 people you meet on the street are likely to have below average intelligence.

    2 out of 4 so thats, what, 2 percent? That's not bad at all!

    It was great to meet you!

  12. Re:My primary question... on Mozilla Admits Firefox EULA Is Flawed · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do I have to accept it in order to proceed? If I do, it's a EULA no matter what you call it.

    Did you even read the article?!? It's not an End User License Agreement, it's just a License Agreement for the End User so it's not a EULA...
    it's a LAEU...

    Obviously way different.

  13. Re:First? Not a chance on 3M Launches First Pocket Projector · · Score: 4, Funny

    We've had them for a long, long time.

    Oh, wait that was pocket projectors? I'm sorry. I was only off my one consonant.

    I know! 350 bucks and I STILL have ink on my shirt!

    That'll teach me to glance at the subject line.

  14. Re:What have you done with Slashdot? on Questioning Google's Privacy Reform · · Score: 2, Funny

    Shhhh! don't make them hunt the 256 of you down!

  15. Re:First... on Getting an Independent Project Started? · · Score: 2, Interesting

    1. Get people interested in your ideas.
    2. Get them to subscribe to your newsletter.
    3. ???
    4. Profit!

    I will respond to your meme with another meme:

    I am interested in your ideas, where can I sign up for your newsletter.

  16. in related news on RIAA and MPAA Developing Domain-Based DRM · · Score: 4, Funny

    Blackhat developing domain-based crack.

  17. Cmon! on Slashdot's Disagree Mail · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have some pictures on ******* my username is ****** If you like what you see let me know

    No really, what was her user name... you know, just out of curiosity...

  18. Re:Cue the villagers on Best Buy + Windows Guru = Apple Store Experience? · · Score: 1

    ...Windows Gurus could end up 'lightning rods for customers' frustrations with Vista.'"

    More like villagers with torches and pitchforks.

    My father's name is Zeus you insensitive clod!

  19. Re:'lightning rods' for customer frustrations on Best Buy + Windows Guru = Apple Store Experience? · · Score: 5, Funny

    So does the $20/hr include danger pay?

    Danger pay is covered, but they don't reimburse you for the cost of your soul unfortunately.

  20. Not so sure on Has Superstition Evolved To Help Mankind Survive? · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope they knocked three times on their desk and spun around in a circle before they did this study...
    Otherwise the results are completely wrong.

  21. Re:Not news on Research Finds Carbon Dating Flawed · · Score: 1

    Anyone who uses any form of radiometric dating knows that there are limits to the accuracy. The fact that a new limit was discovered doesn't make the technique "flawed", though I will grant that it may call for re-evaluation of some results. Anyone who thinks that the fact that these limits exist is news, though, is terribly misguided.

    He's right, I carbon dated the article.

  22. Re:Note on Units on Spectacular Fossil Forests Found In US Coalmine · · Score: 4, Funny

    Duh,
    47 libraries of congress to a Bristol measured at 47 degrees Reaumur 83 furlongs above knee level,
    Man, I've know that for about a microcentury.

  23. Re:I really need to change my fonts! on Review: Spore · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm just baffled by the concept of giving herpes to your opponents...

    What exactly do you typically do to your enemies???

  24. Re:What would happen on Hacking Esquire's E-ink Cover · · Score: 5, Funny

    if someone went and re-flashed all the controllers in the Esquire mags to display porn (first thing that comes to mind is Goatse) instead of the original content?

    Um, then it would display goatse.

  25. So to summarize the entire article: on TransferJet Consortium Works Towards Touch Data Transfer Tech · · Score: 1

    Hey baby, touch my dongle and I'll fill you with my megabits!

    Sounds like technology I've already seen on... some... websites...